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The ALL-NEW Clive Tyldesley and Andy Townsend England cliche Predictions Game

Rob1981

By Rob1981,
in 2014 World Cup Forum

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midgetram

midgetram

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Making a point of Lampard's goal v Germany not counting. That's not on the list in the OP (unless it is but I'm being blind) but you have to award points for that surely?! :D

Worth 20 points surely? I think my prediction of 100+ was a bit overzealous :o

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Rob1981

Rob1981

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Bit disappointing so far. Both men quick out of the blocks in the first five minutes or so, then quieter than expected. Game threatening to pass Andy by altogether. Really needs to impose himself in the second half.

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Rhino

Rhino

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Making a point of Lampard's goal v Germany not counting. That's not on the list in the OP (unless it is but I'm being blind) but you have to award points for that surely?! :D
haha, awesome, none of us were expecting them to squeeze that one in. See, England, THIS is exactly why people get irritated by your commentators. :D
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JD nawrat

JD nawrat

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Score maybe about 12-15. Might need the video replay for some of it.

Jeez, trying not to bore us to death then?! I've been watching but I tend to not listen to ITV's comms, utterly atrocious stuff 99.9% of the time. Don't remember the last time I enjoyed something that came out of an ITV commentary team...

@Rhino - hindsight makes it seem like an obvious omission. But really it is an obvious omission without hindsight too. Of course they were going to mention that ffs! It'll be mentioned in every England game, too, I bet. Maybe even every Germany game, too.

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Rob1981

Rob1981

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Right. The results are in.

Scoring as per the OP, I have then awarded 2 points for any England reference that they squeezed in without me thinking of it first. I'm changing the rules as we go along tbh... learned it from Blatter's election campaign.

OPENING CEREMONY

Immediate reference to the temperature in Manaus when a woman came on dressed as a rainforest. SCORES 1 POINT.

Very early mention of England and Uruguay playing next week in the same stadium. SCORES 1 POINT.

Mentioned that you can access England's training camp in Manaus by boat when a woman came on dressed as a boat. DID NOT SEE THIS COMING AT ALL, WELL DONE CLIVE. SCORES 2 POINTS.

Mentioned the temperature in Manaus again. SCORES 1 POINT.

Clive talks about English and Scottish migrants first introducing football to Brazil in the 19th century. DIDN'T ANTICIPATE THAT, SCORES 2 POINTS.

Reference to "Paulinho of Spurs" just before handing back to the studio. SCORES 1 POINT.

ANTHEMS

As Brazil and Croatia line up to sing their anthems, Clive mentions that Roy has asked all the England players to sing our anthem when we play our games. People are passionate about international football apparently. SCORES 2 POINTS.

1ST HALF

2 minutes in. Another reference to "Paulinho of Spurs", this time from Andy. SCORES 1 POINT.

4 minutes in, Clive mentions last year's Brazil v England friendly in Rio. SCORES 1 POINT. MISSES A GLORIOUS CHANCE TO MENTION OXLADE-CHAMBERLAIN'S GOAL FOR A BONUS POINT.

5 minutes in, we are told by Clive that Julio Cesar is "officially still a QPR player" but "has had to go to the MLS" to find regular football. SCORES 1 POINT. This is quickly followed up with a reference to Corluka's "Tottenham days". SCORES 1 POINT.

After a quiet spell, Clive talks about Oscar's Chelsea season on 20 minutes and looks at the number of games he missed during the title run in. SCORES 1 POINT.

23 minutes and another mention of a player's "Tottenham days". This time it is Modric rather than Corluka. SCORES 1 POINT.

24 minutes. Inevitably Clive mentions Frank Lampard's "ghost goal" when the goal line technology graphic pops up. SCORES 2 POINTS. Follows this up with a pointless comparison between the FIFA goal line technology system and the Premier League's goal line technology system. SCORES 2 MORE POINTS.

36 minutes and Andy finally calls him "Big Phil". SCORES 1 POINT.

38 minutes. A reference to Lovren's Southampton career and question marks over his future at the club. SCORES 2 POINTS.

On the stroke of half time, Clive chortles about Kovac using the phrase "park the bus". SCORES 2 POINTS.

2ND HALF

As the teams prepare to kick off, there is a pathetically strained reference to "Aston Villa manager Paul Lambert" being on the opposition team last time Brazil played in a World Cup opening game in 1998. SCORES 2 POINTS.

Quiet all through the second half, but one of them mentions "Ramires of Chelsea" at the death. SCORES 1 POINT.

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TM

TM

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sounds as if somebody tipped them off, was less cliche driven than usual :(

then again I find Drury (if he's still there) was probably worse for it - as shown by his commentary for the South Africa goal in the opening game in 2010

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Paul Bacon

Paul Bacon

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As Brazil and Croatia line up to sing their anthems, Clive mentions that Roy has asked all the England players to sing our anthem when we play our games. People are passionate about international football apparently.

So passionate players fake injury during friendlies?

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Rob1981

Rob1981

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Clive and Andy's next three fixtures are apparently:

Monday 16th June

17:00 Germany v Portugal - Clive Tyldesley & Andy Townsend

Tuesday 17th June

17:00 Belgium v Algeria - Clive Tyldesley & Andy Townsend

Thursday 19th June

20:00 Uruguay v England - Clive Tyldesley & Andy Townsend

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Rob1981

Rob1981

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Might do another round of this for Belgium v Algeria. Won't have done much research on the Algerians so they will have to fall back on references to the 0-0 snoozefest against England in 2010 and that dude who plays for Watford.

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SpillBlood

SpillBlood

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Might do another round of this for Belgium v Algeria. Won't have done much research on the Algerians so they will have to fall back on references to the 0-0 snoozefest against England in 2010 and that dude who plays for Watford.

Maybe Bentaleb of Tottenham who chose Algeria over France. England being booed. About it really :D.

Wonder how many times they'll mention Januzaj.

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football_master_94

football_master_94

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Might do another round of this for Belgium v Algeria. Won't have done much research on the Algerians so they will have to fall back on references to the 0-0 snoozefest against England in 2010 and that dude who plays for Watford.
Will probably just spend the majority of time talking about all the Belgian lot that play in the Prem and, at best, mention the likes of Bougherra, Yebda and the guy at Watford for Algeria.
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