geogman Posted November 13, 2009 Share Posted November 13, 2009 1. Thou shalt only score a goal when you craft the perfect move with the correct player with high stats providing the perfect pass to a striker who is equally endowed. 2. Thou shalt conceed a goals from out of positions players with low stats from all angles and areas of the pitch 3. Thou shalt only score 1 corner in 50 4. Thouu will conceed goals from1 corner in 5 5. Defenders shalt believe the opposition to be demons and not to be approached under any circumstance 6. The Lord shalt confer man of the match upon thine opposition goalie in at least half the games you play. 7. Clear cut chances shalt be preserved like gold and not wasted on the scoring of goals. 8. Thine opposition will be able to craft goals from out of thin air (or a long punt at least) 9. The slowest player will inherit the ball 10. Beware the long shot rating of three as it will decide the fate of many. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
silva_gunner Posted November 13, 2009 Share Posted November 13, 2009 I like this. Not sure if its serious but still... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raware Posted November 14, 2009 Share Posted November 14, 2009 Ha ha...got a laugh from me too Are these commandments relative to all FM's or just FM10? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirtyscarab Posted November 14, 2009 Share Posted November 14, 2009 I approve. (But not of your spelling of 'commandments' in the thread title) Especially liked #5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
roykela Posted November 14, 2009 Share Posted November 14, 2009 Brilliant. Nice way to wake up on a saturday with this Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest mikeytwigge Posted November 14, 2009 Share Posted November 14, 2009 you missed out beware the opposition player who has never scored (as players always get there first goal against you) Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
gunner86 Posted November 14, 2009 Share Posted November 14, 2009 11. Thou shalt demolish big opposition teams but thou must level the playing field by losing to those teams less fortunate. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheMister Posted November 14, 2009 Share Posted November 14, 2009 12. Thou shalt not download a tactic set and declare it useless after 3 pre-season matches in season 1. (12.1 Thou shalt not ask which one tactic of the set to use for your team) Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
gunner86 Posted November 14, 2009 Share Posted November 14, 2009 13. Thou shalt use 'pleased' at half time at thy peril. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wege Posted November 14, 2009 Share Posted November 14, 2009 14. Thou shalt see your coaches move to lesser teams, with worse facilities on lesser wages. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
geogman Posted November 15, 2009 Author Share Posted November 15, 2009 15. Do not cross the ball until thou canst see the whites of the defenders eyes Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
silva_gunner Posted November 15, 2009 Share Posted November 15, 2009 15.1. Thou shalt not cross the ball, but try and dribble into the box, where thou shalt be tackled by some huge russian centre back. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
SCIAG Posted November 15, 2009 Share Posted November 15, 2009 16. Thou shalt not wish your girlfriend was a freak like me. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marek_Hamsik Posted November 16, 2009 Share Posted November 16, 2009 Thou shalt play FM with no sound, on super fast speed and ALT tabbed out (with team losing without your knowledge) posting on forum that game is too difficult and tactics do not make sense. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ReeNah Posted November 16, 2009 Share Posted November 16, 2009 Nice! 17. Thou shall have to fork out a limb to purchase decent players, while AI are given chariety status! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
HALEXB82 Posted November 16, 2009 Share Posted November 16, 2009 18. Thou shalt never underestimate players who have never scored for their club, as they will certainly score their first against thou! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
woody2goody Posted November 16, 2009 Share Posted November 16, 2009 19. Thou shalt take multiple two goal leads only to see them evaporate into oblivion. 20. Thou shalt not trust in men over 30 years of age to retain optimum velocity for very long. 21. Thou shalt attain a lower league position than previously, despite having a better squad of players. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigCisHere Posted November 16, 2009 Share Posted November 16, 2009 22. Thou shalt have at least 1 bogey team, that no matter what, thou shalt never defeat? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blanchflower1 Posted November 16, 2009 Share Posted November 16, 2009 This is indeed brilliant! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Themistofelis Posted November 16, 2009 Share Posted November 16, 2009 23. Silence is gold , honour your great assistant when he doesn't have anything to say at half time. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
geogman Posted November 16, 2009 Author Share Posted November 16, 2009 24. There is but one referee, bow down in his presence and know that criticising in haste leads to repetance in the stand. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhinocerous Posted November 16, 2009 Share Posted November 16, 2009 OP is epic. And truthful. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
StevenChap Posted November 16, 2009 Share Posted November 16, 2009 25. Thou shall ask permission to each player whether they want to improve or not, and thou shall accept the usuall answer of no! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
geogman Posted November 21, 2009 Author Share Posted November 21, 2009 26 The wall is like mist and it shall indeed be possible to get the ball up and down quickly enough 27 Knowest that you attackest is deaf and willest not hear the approach of a tackle Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonif Posted November 21, 2009 Share Posted November 21, 2009 Thou shalt play FM with no sound, on super fast speed and ALT tabbed out (with team losing without your knowledge) posting on forum that game is too difficult and tactics do not make sense..............Amen. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoeLatics Posted November 22, 2009 Share Posted November 22, 2009 28. Thou must NEVER hold a lead of 3 goals at half time... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
The RingMaster Posted November 22, 2009 Share Posted November 22, 2009 29. Thou shall not feel glee upon the scoring of a goal, for the opponent shall smite thee in the very next highlight Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
duckman4442006 Posted November 22, 2009 Share Posted November 22, 2009 30 Thou shall not be able to sell any players Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
geogman Posted November 23, 2009 Author Share Posted November 23, 2009 31 Thou shalt not be given offside until the act of shooting Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChuCho 11 Posted November 23, 2009 Share Posted November 23, 2009 Haha, this had brightened my day up a tad. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deisler26 Posted November 23, 2009 Share Posted November 23, 2009 32. Thou shalt concede in the 90th minute to the bottom of the league Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Insert_Goal_Here Posted November 23, 2009 Share Posted November 23, 2009 I'm liking number 9! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
geogman Posted December 29, 2009 Author Share Posted December 29, 2009 32 Beware the ball falling from the sky as a defender will shortly see yellow for a minor push Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gandy Posted December 29, 2009 Share Posted December 29, 2009 16. Thou shalt not wish your girlfriend was a freak like me. Hahaha this one is pure gold mate. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hanson Posted December 29, 2009 Share Posted December 29, 2009 33 Only you will have a transfer bid for a player rejected, despite offering the same amount as 6 other teams, which have all been accepted. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
bterz Posted December 29, 2009 Share Posted December 29, 2009 Best thread in years Keep it up guys(especially you geogman)! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
fabulas4 Posted December 29, 2009 Share Posted December 29, 2009 34 tough shalt not complain about not winning as the answer will always be its your tactics Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
flashback790 Posted December 29, 2009 Share Posted December 29, 2009 35. You will complain the game is too easy when you only play as Man U, Chelsea, Madrid, etc, instead of a challenge when playing as Luton Town. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest josh9393 Posted December 29, 2009 Share Posted December 29, 2009 36. Thou shalt predict an offside goal 20 seconds before it is declared due to there existing no goal flash Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Indi75 Posted December 30, 2009 Share Posted December 30, 2009 37. Thou shalt discover ever more thinly veiled and bandwagonesque ways of moaning about the game on thy SI forum. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest josh9393 Posted December 30, 2009 Share Posted December 30, 2009 37. Thou shalt discover ever more thinly veiled and bandwagonesque ways of moaning about the game on thy SI forum. you are a genius sir Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Almondo Posted December 30, 2009 Share Posted December 30, 2009 38. Thou shalt not score in the 2nd half if you hold a 2 - 0 lead at half time. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Schotsmannetje Posted December 30, 2009 Share Posted December 30, 2009 39. New signings will get injured a week before the start of a new season. 40. Thou shalt have more commandments then one could engrave into a rock at a readable size. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Indi75 Posted December 30, 2009 Share Posted December 30, 2009 you are a genius sir Great minds? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
swisso Posted December 30, 2009 Share Posted December 30, 2009 41. Thy centrehalfs will part like the Red Sea upon any throughballs being played. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
geogman Posted January 13, 2010 Author Share Posted January 13, 2010 42 Thought shalt annoy your key player in an interview by accident Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bradmonk Posted January 14, 2010 Share Posted January 14, 2010 43: Thou shalt hold imaginary press conferences on the toilet upon signing a new centre half. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Edle Posted January 14, 2010 Share Posted January 14, 2010 haha that is rather comical Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Legion22 Posted January 14, 2010 Share Posted January 14, 2010 44: Thou shall not sayest anything about your players in press conferences, lest they become unhappy all year 45: Thou players must never tell you they are unhappy, except that they use the local paper. 46: Thou canst never tell your players anything. 37. Thou shalt discover ever more thinly veiled and bandwagonesque ways of moaning about the game on thy SI forum. *yawn* Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimbo_Jones Posted January 14, 2010 Share Posted January 14, 2010 47: Thou shalt have thine best player sold by thoust chairman on the last day of the transfer window. grrrrrrrr Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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