AI Experiment - what would happen if?

[jayatsena]

I'd prefer Bandits go to the Championship, the we'll do the riots thing to make change in the BOD

"Sack the Board!!!!!"

[kipfizh]

Bandits report – Season report (part 2)

January-May

With the transfer window open, the fans were beginning to really panic about their team’s chances for the rest of the season. The incoming players were not that inspiring, while some talents were leaving and some others were tipping over the peak of their careers. With the club already in the relegation zone, Yates had a massive job on his hands to keep them up, and many doubted he had anything like the ability required.

The year began as the previous had ended, with more poor performances, starting this time with a 4-1 hammering at the hands of Chelsea. They needed a turning point, and they got it against League Two Exeter in the FA Cup a few days later, when they were given a massive helping hand by opposing keeper Lee Drury, who scored an own goal in the first minute and got sent off later in the first half. With Exeter also suffering injuries in the first half an hour, an outfield player went in goal for more than half the game and the Bandits won 3-1.

At this point, any victory was welcome, even a cheap one against a side three divisions below them, and it certainly seemed to perk the players up. Man City were dispatched 3-0, before they travelled to the Emirates and came away with another impressive 3-0 victory thanks to three goals in the opening thirteen minutes.

Such was the poor start to the season, though, that they remained in the bottom three as they played another cup game, away to Championship Hull, a solitary de Lange goal keeping their cup hopes alive. The same player scored the winner in a 2-1 victory over Newcastle days later, as the Bandits notched up three consecutive wins. Draws against Aston Villa and Chesterfield took the unbeaten run to five and lifted them out of the relegation zone for the first time all season.

The FA Cup draw was again kind, and Championship Boston came and went, beaten 2-0 as the Bandits progressed to the quarter finals for the first time in five years, but then the league form dipped again, a 1-0 loss to West Brom being followed by an appalling 4-1 demolition at Leeds. They were back in 17th, inches outside the drop zone, with just nine games to save themselves.

West Brom were also the opponents in the FA Cup quarter final, and they led for much of the match, before de Lange, cup specialist, popped up once again to equalise late and force a replay. He then went on to score the only goal of the return match to send his side to the semi finals.

In the league, they pulled away from the drop zone with a single goal victory over Forest, before slipping back down again by losing 1-0 to Sheff Wed and drawing 2-2 with QPR. Six games to go, and they were still deep in trouble.

And then, all of a sudden, they found form, and of all places, they picked Old Trafford, with Man Utd challenging for the Premiership title. At half time, the crowd were shocked into silence, the visitors 4-0 up thanks to a brace from Rubio, and one each from Messner and de Lange. There were no more goals in the second half, and all of a sudden the whole picture had changed. United’s title challenge was over, and the Bandits rose a couple of places in the league and went into their FA Cup semi final with newfound confidence.

The opponents were Chesterfield, who had embarrassed them 4-0 earlier in the season, but it was anything but a challenge this time, the Bandits notching up successive 4-0 victories to reach their first ever FA Cup final, where they would come up against an Aston Villa side themselves in midtable.

First, they had to guarantee survival, and when a 2-2 draw with Spurs was followed by a 2-1 loss to Liverpool, the Bandits found themselves back in 17th, just one point away from relegation with three games remaining.

But those three games against Burnley, West Ham and Port Vale were all won well, and the Bandits found themselves finishing the season in 13th, the highest position they had occupied all season, thanks to their late surge. All that remained of a very decent last couple of months was the first FA Cup final in their history.

The final started badly, Villa scoring in the eighth minute, and at half time, the Bandits had created very little. Minutes after the restart, the odds stacked up against them as Villa raced into a 2-0 lead, putting one hand on the cup. But the Bandits were made of stronger stuff than earlier in the season, and after Joel had pulled them back into it in the 70th minute, new winger Guiseppe Casali scored a late equaliser to send it into extra time.

After a scoreless additional half an hour, the inevitable penalities arrived, and the Bandits were always one behind after Bossu’s early miss. Eventually, Villa’s Dyatiov had the chance to win the cup, but missed, sending the shoot out into sudden death. Unfortunately, this only delayed the disappointment, Tony Harris missing the crucial seventh penalty as Villa lifted the trophy. It was harsh on Harris as he had put in a man of the match performance earlier in the day, but the winger was left crushed.

And that was the end of a turbulent season. Cameron Banks had come and gone, placing the Bandits in an enormous hole, before Danny Yates came along to save them from the drop and take them to a cup final, despite looking far worse on paper. But Yates is unlikely to be the long term solution, as he can’t spot a potential player at all and isn’t likely to make the right signings. In addition, their 13th place finish was a bit fortunate, as they simply timed their form well.

Banks wasn’t the answer, and Yates probably isn’t either, so where do the Bandits go from here? With a squad full of stars that are fading away, drastic action is still needed.

There is one piece of good news, for all those who believe that the board are the problem. Danny Nurse, the club’s dreadful chairman, used to ‘Love the Club’, but now his happiness level has dropped to ‘Happy to Stay’. Is this the start of him moving away from the Bandits?

Honours: League Cup (2044, 2047, 2052)

[kipfizh]

Bandits report – Season summary

2006-07, English Conference South - 1st, FA Trophy - Winners

2007-08, English National Conference - 7th, FA Trophy - Final

2008-09, English National Conference – 7th

2009-10, English National Conference – 9th

2010-11, English National Conference – 6th

2011-12, English National Conference – 18th

2012-13, English National Conference – 5th

2013-14, English National Conference – 1st

2014-15, English League Two – 21st

2015-16, English League Two – 21st

2016-17, English League Two – 6th

2017-18, English League Two – 6th

2018-19, English League Two – 7th

2019-20, English League Two – 6th, Johnstone’s Paint Trophy – South Semi Final

2020-21, English League Two – 10th

2021-22, English League Two – 1st, Johnstone’s Paint Trophy - Final

2022-23, English League One – 13th, Johnstone’s Paint Trophy – South Semi Final

2023-24, English League One – 11th, League Cup – Final

2024-25, English League One – 11th, League Cup – Semi-Final

2025-26, English League One – 18th

2026-27, English League One – 17th

2027-28, English League One – 14th

2028-29, English League One – 20th

2029-30, English League One – 1st

2030-31, English Championship – 14th

2031-32, English Championship – 10th, League Cup – Final

2032-33, English Championship – 12th

2033-34, English Championship – 8th

2034-35, English Championship – 21st

2035-36, English Championship – 2nd

2036-37, English Premiership – 17th

2037-38, English Premiership – 12th

2038-39, English Premiership – 15th, FA Cup – Semi-Final

2039-40, English Premiership – 11th

2040-41, English Premiership – 14th

2041-42, English Premiership – 13th

2042-43, English Premiership – 11th

2043-44, English Premiership – 6th, League Cup – Winners

2044-45, English Premiership – 9th

2045-46, English Premiership – 3rd

2046-47, English Premiership – 2nd, League Cup – Winners

2047-48, English Premiership – 5th, League Cup – Final

2048-49, English Premiership – 5th, UEFA Cup – Semi-Final

2049-50, English Premiership – 11th, League Cup – Final

2050-51, English Premiership – 6th

2051-52, English Premiership – 9th, League Cup – Winners

2052-53, English Premiership – 3rd

2053-54, English Premiership – 5th, UEFA Cup – Semi-Final, FA Cup – Semi-Final

2054-55

English Premiership: (Pos 6), P 38, W 18, D 7, L 13, F 64, A 57, GD +7, Pts 61

(Media Prediction: 5th)

UEFA Cup: Quarter-Final

FA Cup: 4th Round

League Cup: 3rd Round

2055-56

English Premiership: (Pos 6), P 38, W 16, D 9, L 13, F 61, A 54, GD +7, Pts 57

(Media Prediction: 4th)

FA Cup: 3rd Round

League Cup: 4th Round

2056-57

English Premiership: (Pos 14), P 38, W 13, D 9, L 16, F 61, A 60, GD +1, Pts 48

(Media Prediction: 4th)

UEFA Cup: 1st Round

FA Cup: 3rd Round

League Cup: 4th Round

2057-58

English Premiership: (Pos 12), P 38, W 13, D 13, L 12, F 54, A 52, GD +2, Pts 52

(Media Prediction: 10th)

FA Cup: 4th Round

League Cup: 2nd Round

2058-59

English Premiership: (Pos 13), P 38, W 13, D 7, L 18, F 52, A 62, GD -10, Pts 46

(Media Prediction: 13th)

League

FA Cup: Final

League Cup: Quarter-Final

[kipfizh]

Bandits report - Best and Worst

General

Stats

Finance Overview

New records:

Oldest Player – Liam Johnstone (38 years 282 weeks v West Ham)

This season:

Best player – Rubio, 7.70

Top scorer – Rubio, 22

Worst player – Mathis, 5.96

The Bandits owe their survival to Aitor Rubio, who has an awesome season to keep them up. He can’t keep doing it, though.

The Bandits return to the top of the rich list, leapfrogging Barcelona.

Rich Clubs

[kipfizh]

Bandits report - First XI Summary

GK: McParland (29, 173/173) – 7.30

LB: Sadar (29, 173/174) – 6.82

CB: Griffin (32, 159/174) – 6.63

CB: Ricketts (27, 171/173) – 7.33

RB: Fernandez (23, 162/174) – 6.95

LM: Harris (26, 178/178) – 7.22

CM: Diane (29, 162/170) – 6.69

CM: Howarth (21, 158/178) – 6.72

RM: Casali (25, 137/137) – 6.54

ST: [url http://img366.imageshack.us/img366/8922/205859aitorrubiobo5.jpg]Rubio[/url] (30, 173/184) – 7.70

ST: de Lange (30, 161/172) – 7.13

Average age – 27.4 (same as last year)

Average CA – 164.3 (down from last year’s 168)

Average rating – 7.00 (up from last year’s 6.96)

Looking at this, there are some promising signs and some extremely worrying signs. Let’s start at the back.

In goal the Bandits are well stocked, with youth keepers challenging McParland, but the current incumbent playing very well. The full back situation is okay, while the central defensive slots are very well covered after Yates bought three in January. Griffin will be replaced, but Ricketts looks an excellent signing. So the back five are actually okay, if unspectacular.

It is ahead of that where the problem lies. Howarth is a prospect in central midfield but it is a little early for him, while Diane is fading. Harris is superb on the left wing but wants to leave, with everyone interested in him and him angry at having past offers turned down. He is likely to leave this summer. On the right, they have three wingers – Casali, Mathis and Joel. The three are all poor, and were rotated this season, all playing dreadfully. A new right winger is a priority.

Up front, they were once again saved by Rubio this season, but even here there are worrying signs. They only have four strikers – Rubio, Messner and de Lange are 30, and Bossu is 29. To make matters worse, both de Lange and Messner want to leave. Again, a new striker is essential.

Yates has a massive job on this summer, and his ability to judge a player’s ability means his short term signings should be good. But he is unlikely to buy those superstars of the future we all hope for.

[kipfizh]

Bandits report – Outside the first XI

Dropped:

Constable (RB): The improvement of Fernandez has seen Constable axed from the team

Dompig (RM): Ended up being rotated with Casali and Mathis, all of them playing badly.

Messner (ST): The return of Michael de Lange saw him become third choice. Wants to leave.

Sold:

Vujic (CB): Moved to Villa after playing badly and was well replaced in January.

Birchall (CM): Moved to West Ham for 15m after clashing with Michael de Lange, and was missed.

Prospects

Machin (22, 167/177) – Machin gained six points this season and began to challenge for McParland’s place in goal.

Edwards (22, 158/182) – Primarily a centre back, Edwards is one for the future.

Larsen (22, 164/184) – A forward rather than a striker, Larsen spent the season on loan at Man Utd and may have a big part to play for the Bandits in the coming years.

It is good to see the Bandits with some prospects at last.

[kipfizh]

Competitions - Other stats

England had a disappointing World Cup, losing to Spain in the second round, with their conquerors eventually going on to reach the final, losing to a Roberio-inspired Brazil, and meaning a world beater had won the trophy for once. England put that setback behind them to win all six of their European Championship qualifying matches, which would have a strong British presence, being held in Scotland and Wales.

Sheff Wed continued their domination of the English game, winning the Premiership for the fifth straight time, but they needed a slip up from Chelsea in the final week to do it, edging their rivals out by a single point. Man Utd and West Brom made up the Champions League qualifiers, while Arsenal came close to the drop zone and Newcastle returned to the Championship, along with Nottm Forest and Man City.

Meanwhile, Barnet will be in the Premiership for the first time in their history, having won the Championship in their first season in it – two consecutive promotions will surely make them favourites for bottom place. Welling, in League One, went down.

Aston Villa beat the Bandits on penalties in the FA Cup final, in a tournament shorn of shocks – no side from outside the Premiership reached the quarter finals, and no club from below the Championship reached the last sixteen. The Bandits averaged 112038 fans at their home games during their run to the final – a new record.

West Brom had an excellent season in the league, and also lifted the League Cup, beating Championship Aldershot in the final. The runners up set an unwanted record on their route to Wembley, picking up fourteen yellows and three reds, while Watford’s loss to Brentford was their nineteenth game without a win in the competition.

Valencia beat holders Bayern Munich in the Champions League final, winning via a penalty shoot out having knocked out Sheff Wed in the semi finals. Barcelona beat Leverkusen to lift the UEFA Cup, West Brom being the final English survivor, reaching the quarter finals.

[kipfizh]

Premiership Analysis - Reputation

(league position in bold)

1 (1). Sheff Wed (1) – 9491 (-92)

2 (4). Burnley (6) – 8530 (+445)

3 (2). Man Utd (3) – 8201 (-185)

4 (6). Chelsea (2) – 8178 (+439)

5 (3). Tottenham (7) – 8130 (+38)

6 (5). Liverpool (9) – 8114 (+132)

7 (7). West Ham (10) – 7767 (+98)

8 (12). West Brom (4) – 7703 (+518)

9 (-). Colchester (15) – 7547 (-122)

10 (9). QPR (17) – 7503 (-49)

11 (13). Leeds (5) – 7364 (+220)

12 (11). Bandits (13) – 7314 (-48)

13 (8). Aston Villa (14) – 7268 (-295)

14 (16). Crystal Palace (11) – 7109 (+506)

15 (14). Port Vale (12) – 6935 (-84)

16 (15). Arsenal (16) – 6877 (-96)

17 (17). Chesterfield (8) – 6707 (+230)

18 (10). Newcastle (19) – 6411 (-962)

19 (-). Nottm Forest (18) – 6254 (+52)

20 (-). Man City (20) – 5726 (-1077)

Promoted sides

Barnet – 5432

Hull – 5933

Sunderland – 6516 (+549)

Sheff Wed’s dominance of the English game continues, although their lead at the top is cut by the ever improving Burnley, who have now been around the Premiership summit for years. They are genuinely a big club now. Chelsea and West Brom make strides after good seasons, but Newcastle and Man City suffer huge losses thanks to their relegation. The Bandits remain fairly static, making a small loss and slipping to twelfth.

Of the promoted sides, Sunderland look fine, but Barnet look in massive trouble after two successive promotions.

[kipfizh]

Summary

A season that promised so much ended in bitter disappointment for the Bandits, who must now rebuild for the umpteenth time, and with a lot less optimism than they had only a year ago. Cameron Banks seemed to be the answer, but his start couldn’t have been worse, a long losing streak to open the season, and when it didn’t look like getting any better, he was fired.

He had nearly half a season in charge, and in all honesty didn’t look the part. His signings weren’t bad, but he was unable to sort out the rift between Birchall and de Lange, and couldn’t drag his charges around when their heads began to drop.

Danny Yates came in, and at first glance did not look the part at all. But he shored up the leaky defence with some shrewd signings, particularly Ricketts, and eventually saw the Bandits to comfortable safety. He also took them to an FA Cup final for the first time in their history, and it ended cruelly, Harris missing the crucial kick after putting in a man of the match performance. That is probably Harris’ last act in a Bandits shirt – everyone is interested in him this summer and he is furious that previous bids have been turned down.

The chairman isn’t as happy as he once was, which leads the fans to hope he leaves sooner rather than later. Perhaps those ‘sack the board’ chants are beginning to get to him?

[kipfizh]

World View - World beaters (by CA)

Roberio (Marseille/Brazil, 25, 194/198, Winger: 78.55%), gains two points of CA and becomes the best player in the world all by himself, unlike last season when he shared the honour with Graham Thomas and Mathieu Adam. He was in sparkling form for Marseille this season, averaging a very decent 7.37 and illuminating the French league. At 25, he should have a few years left on this list.

Roberio

Mathieu Adam (Real Madrid/France, 29, 192/192, Goalkeeper: 76.27%), remains at his peak once again, and having not turned thirty yet, could be here for ages. Once again, he was in astonishing form for Real Madrid, conceding a goal every other goal and averaging a stunning 7.77. Now finall out of Charton’s shadow, he could become a legend in France and around the world.

Mathieu Adam

Nenad Mijatovic (Milan/Serbia, 24, 190/199, Centre Back: 74.95%), is a new entry on the list, in joint third position. The big Serbian defender is a brave, hard working rock of a centre back, physically dominant and able to make the right decisions at the right times. He played exceptionally well for Milan, averaging 7.43, and at 24 could yet reach his potential of 199.

Nenad Mijatovic

Juan Carlos Gimenez (Lyon/Argentina, 22, 190/199, Midfielder: 75.60%), also enters the list in joint third, and is the second world beater on the list to be playing in France. Only 22, he is also the youngest entrant in many years and will surely reach his enormous potential. The former one to watch has the makings of a little genius in midfield, but he will have to raise his performances from good to stunning to deserve the legendary status on this list that is possible for a kid of his talent.

Juan Carlos Gimenez

Graham Thomas, last season’s joint top player, saw his CA drop from 192 to 188 and fell off the list, while Guillaume Charton fell further, dropping from 191 to 180.

[Wegason]

If only the Bandits would splash the cash on Roberio!

[GazTheDoood]

If only the Bandits had the reputation, managerial talent, and chairman to be able to splash the cash on anyone as decent as those world beaters...

Gotta be time for an upturn in fortunes, this time?

Right?

[5ergio]

The chairman's happiness dropped, we can see a departure in the next 10-20, hell maybe even 30 years The old motto came to me again, "Sack the manager & the board". What will excite me could be the possible purchase of Gimenez from Lyon. He'll most probably end up in Spain or Italy in 2-3 years. Better we get him and have an excellent center mid at least. We also need a working right wing, not someone like Casali. At least one good enough to maintain double figures in both goals and assists.

[PaulHartman71]

That was a poor season for The Bandits, hopefully things can only get better

[Wegason]

Hey Kip,

Can you tell me how Southend are doing/have done in this save as they seem to get to the Premiership and become a decent team in a lot of other long term saves I've seen on here.

[matt4ani]

Nenad Mijatovic has appalling positioning attribute for a central defender.

[Walcott\'s Wonderkids]

Quite a wierd season there - despite the club not doing very well and in need of massive improvements in certain areas of the pitch, all the records book will show is that they finished lower mid table and reach the FA Cup Final for the 1st time ever.

In some ways the FA Cup Final appearance could be a bad thing for the Bandits, the manager / chairman may feel the season was actually not that bad which would miss the underlying problems... lets hope not!

[Scotty Walds]

Championship Boston? Excellent. Can I have a screenie of their league positions of the last few seasons please?

[chopper99]

Yet another rollercoaster ride for the Bandits fans. What a strange season, I genuinely thought that in Banks we had finally found the manger who would make use of the financial muscle of The Bandits and push them onto glory. I was then sure that Yates would take the team straight down into the Championship. On both occasions I was very wrong, somehow Yates made some decent signings and seemed to get some good performances out of the team.

I'm still very worried about next season though. I feel The Bandits need some drastic changes to the squad to have any hope of climbing back up the league and into Europe. I doubt that in the long term Yates is the man for the job.

But hey, I've been wrong before....

[The Lambs]

Flipping heck, Larsen looks a bit handy, I hope he gets some first team games this season, rather than helping Man Utd to finish higher than us.

I was thinking about the managers ability to spot future talents, with all the money the bandits have, they don't really need to sign players who could become world class, they can afford to just buy the players that are already world class, the only thing holding us back is our mediocre reputation. Hopefully he can attract some great players who are not so famous at the moment.......... Then again, maybe monkeys could fly out of my butt!

[Meitheisman]

I would love these monkeys to actually come out of your ass if it means the Bandits will win the EPL next season.

About the season itself, not much else to say than what's already been said, meh

[coldkohmew]

I will try to cut my team average CA,it explains why i am not progessing...

KUTGW!

[AB-forever]

Another surprising season.

That Lars Larsen looks great

[Scott1990]

Kip- Sorry if you have posted this recently, but who are on the Bandit's favored personnel?

[VonBlade]

And VB, you'd better show up at some Mini Se7ens races soon than spend ages at SI forums.

Lmao mate. Small world. You've got to remember that with my back issues I can't even turn a lap, much less race

[VonBlade]

Sorry for missing two seasons now. The whole "not being in GC" thing means I keep forgetting to check C&HG.

I thought, like everyone, that we'd finally got a great man for the job. At a guess the unsettled squad (when was the last time we didn't sell a bunch of first-teamers?) coupled to the rash of reds probably did for him.

Ridiculous that we then hired a complete nubbin as a replacement. So now we're back to where we always seem to be. An aging, thin squad managed by an amoeba, mired in the mid-table. Sigh.

Hopefully the FA Cup Final will give the rep a boost, because otherwise we'll never be able to pump our vast funds into some world-beating talent.

VB

[yugo23]

We missed big chance in 2047 to win Premiership, and turn things around for good. I don't see us anywhere near that level anytime soon.

[jimmyjazz1983]

Such a shame about the FA Cup but at least they didn't end up in the drop zone after 38 games. In a weird way I was hoping they would end up relegated, it would have tested out the Chairman's loyalty to the cause and could have helped the club in the long run. With any luck the chairman will soon leave to be replaced by a decent board who will sack Yates and bring in the sort of manager needed at the club.

I'd also like to know how Southend are doing please Kip, hopefully my hometown club will make it into the Prem at some point, they always used to on my versions of FM07...

[blowcrapup]

Hurray! got the internet back I don't have to go to uni to get my Bandits fix.

GUTGW Kip and any chance of finding out how Hartlepool are doing?

[jayatsena]

I've been doing my own experiment using FM 2008, but instead of using perfect player I give a team a perfect backroom staff and board. They start at the conference and they keep going until the Championship Division. They also have progressed well on the League Cup. After managing for 2 years, the manager have been sacked, so the club only rely on the BOD and they kept going well. My summary is that good manager is important to make the club progress well, but a good BOD also help club to achieve something because they can spot another good manager and make money from business.

[mmitch19]

Just came to check if Mrs Redknapp had taken over managing the Bandits - unfortunately not it seems.

[SpeccyMatt]

Just came to check if Mrs Redknapp had taken over managing the Bandits - unfortunately not it seems.

Every time I come back to this page I refresh and re-read this message.

I still don't understand what it means - is it just me? :confused:

[MaccaB]

Every time I come back to this page I refresh and re-read this message.

I still don't understand what it means - is it just me? :confused:

Harry Redknapp said that United and Chelsea have it easy and with the money they have his wife could do it.

[Y@$H!]

yyyyooooooooohhhhhhhhoooooooo kip...where are youuuuuuuuuuuuu...???

[SpeccyMatt]

Harry Redknapp said that United and Chelsea have it easy and with the money they have his wife could do it.

Thank you very much. My problem is whenever I see the name Mrs Redknapp I immediately think of the lovely Louise

[williamshankley]

Thank you very much. My problem is whenever I see the name Mrs Redknapp I immediately think of the lovely Louise

Isn't she just, Agreed

[kipfizh]

Season 2059-60

Bandits report - Transfers

Transfers In

Transfers Out

After yet another false dawn for the Bandits, they were forced to narrowly escape relegation last season, Danny Yates coming in and completing that job quite impressively. Thoughts that he had already won the fans over were premature, however, as there was still plenty of doubt over his long term ability to manage them to success.

As ever, the squad needed plenty of strengthening, so what would he do?

Summer

Yates is superb at judging a player’s ability, but utterly useless at spotting a future gem in his squad, so it was little surprise when he sold one of the club’s starlets, goalkeeper Michael Machin, who at 23 was approaching his 177 peak. He moved to Man City for 8m and became first choice there, impressing his new fans and disappointing his former ones.

Next to leave was less of a surprise. Tony Harris is a fine winger, and probably too good for the Bandits right now. Last season he was desperate to leave, and got frustrated that his requests were turned down. Finally, in the summer, a 16.75m offer was made by Spurs, and he moved on. Looking back, it wasn’t a bad sale – despite being first choice Harris averaged just 6.50 for his new club.

The Bandits do not have many young players, so the biggest worry to any fan is what happens if they leave. Unable to spot a promising player when he has one, Yates next sold David Edwards, the 23 year old defender with the 182 potential. He was still some nineteen points away from that potential, and Yates must have thought he had peaked, as the 3.1m paid by Man City was a pittance.

Last season there were three starlets outside the first team – Machin, Edwards and Lars Larsen. Yates ended his destruction of the future of the club, next selling the very promising striker Larsen to Port Vale for 7.25m. The 23 year old striker with the 184 potential went on to top score for Vale, his goals eventually keeping them in the Premiership. The fans were gutted – Larsen was a real talent.

All of this left full back Laurent Fernandez as one of the only young players left at the club. Unfortunately, Yates decided to let him leave too, and the 24 year old moved to Arsenal for a healthy 10m.

And Yates wasn’t finished there, selling first choice centre back Peter Griffin to QPR for 1.7m. This one wasn’t so bad – Griffin is 33 and the Bandits have plenty of central defenders, although with Edwards gone much of the backup has now disappeared.

And with that, Yates was done with sales. He may have only sold two first teamers in Harris and Griffin, but his other four sales were practically the only four young players the Bandits had. This was bad news, and only a heap of excellent signings would save him from going into the season as an unpopular man.

First in was Aldershot’s Scottish central midfielder, Joe Kelly, who at 24 has plenty of life left in his career. But his ability level can’t go beyond the 154 it is already at, so he is far from an ideal signing. Costing 3.8m, he seems overpriced.

The same cannot be said of David Gould, a 19 year old right winger signed for 5.75m from Hull. His CA may be only 158 at the moment, but it can rise to 184 and he looks like a real prospect. For the first time all summer, the fans had a reason to smile.

Signing number three was less inspiring, Finnish 26 year old Juha Laiho, who can play in either full back roles but prefers the right flank. His PA is 173, but at 26 he is unlikely to rise to that from his current level of 156. A squad player, nothing more, even if his 5.5m price tag from Liverpool seems a little steep.

Next, the Bandits paid 7m to AZ for Marc Peters, a young Belgian centre back, who at 22 is another with great promise. His CA is 159 is likely to rise to his PA of 176, and if it does, the Bandits will have another excellent player on their hands.

On transfer deadline day, Yates made his final signing, and it was utterly pointless. Jim Emerson cost 1.5m from Leicester, but it was 1.5m wasted as the 28 year old Northern Irish left back has a CA of 139 and a PA of 141. He would go on to play appallingly in the couple of matches he played.

And that was it. The fans were delighted about David Gould, and also very happy about Marc Peters, but elsewhere, the signings looked uninspiring. Those pair would’ve satisfied them had it not been for the fact that Yates had sold two first teamers, and worse, four of the club’s best young players, if not the four best.

Selling six with talent, and signing only two, is not the road to success.

January

With the summer dealings not inspiring the supporters, January provided another opportunity for Yates to get things right and bring in players who could really make a difference to the club. As always, the first intention was not to sell any of the club’s few remaining stars.

So it was a relief when Yates allowed only one player to go, reserve striker Hedi Bossu, who had never really shined for the club. The 30 year old had had his path blocked by Messner and Rubio for so long that he was never given a run in the side. Hamburg paid 825k for him and his enjoyed his new surroundings.

After realising that would be the only sale, the fans became more optimistic, and their happiness levels were raised by the signing of 26 year old defensive midfielder Anthony O’Keefe who, despite his name, is actually an English international. With a CA of 172 and a PA of 183, his 4.4m acquisition from Burnley looks a steal. The reason is probably that he played awfully at his old club, with them forcing him into a more advanced role – a classic mistake to make with a holding man.

Next to arrive was up and coming 19 year old striker Thomas Mintus, who had shined for Portsmouth in the Championship and then scored twice on his England Under 21 debut. His CA of 159 should reach its potential of 176, and with him already being a top class finisher, his 3.1m price tag again seems excellent business.

If those two signings made the fans smile, the last one delighted them. David Ramos is a 23 year old Colombian left winger, and a special one at that. Pacey and skilful, his ability level is already at 167, but could rise to a monstrous 188 if trained properly. He cost a whopping 21m from Arsenal, but he could just turn out to be an absolute star.

And that was it. The summer had seen all three starlets leave and only a couple of replacements bought, but January had been fantastic – one sale, and of an aging reserve, and three excellent and astute signings, all surprisingly with potential too. With 170 and 163 CA scouts at the club, perhaps Yates is getting a big helping hand.

[kipfizh]

Bandits report - squad

Top 20 in Squad (sorted by CA)

Name, Pos, Age, CA-PA

Sadar, DL, 30, 173-174 (-)

McParland, GK, 30, 173-173 (-)

O’Keefe, DM, 26, 172-183 – new signing

Ricketts, DC, 28, 171-173 (-)

Ramos, AM L, 23, 167-188 – new signing

Taylor, GK, 24, 167-170 (+4)

Messner, ST, 31, 166-175 (+1)

de Zeeuw, DC, 30, 165-174 (+1)

Rubio, ST, 31, 163-184 (-10)

Thomas, DC, 31, 163-173 (-3)

Joel, AMR/ST, 26, 163-172 (+3)

Diane, MC, 30, 162-170 (-)

Constable, D/WB R, 27, 162-168 (-)

Howarth, AMC, 22, 161-178 (+3) – new entry in top 20

Peters, DC/DM, 22, 159-176 – new signing

Mintus, ST, 19, 159-176 – new signing

de Lange, ST, 31, 159-172 (-2)

Gould, AM R, 19, 158-184 – new signing

Mathis, AMR, 29, 158-169 (-2)

Laiho, D RL, 26, 156-173 – new signing

Players in last season’s top 20 who have left the club:

Harris, 26, 178-178

Machin, GK, 22, 167-177

Larsen, FC, 22, 164-184

Fernandez, D RL, 23, 162-174

Bossu, ST, 29, 162-165

Griffin, DC, 32, 159-174

Edwards, D RC, 22, 158-182

Players in last season’s top 20 who have dropped out of the top 20:

None

The list of players who have left the club makes for painful viewing – at least five players in there had a very bright future, but on the plus side, Yates has made some decent signings in January – O’Keefe, Ramos and Gould seem to have plenty about them.

But once again the squad is thin – can they cope this year? Or are the players they rely on going to fail for once? The stars are into their thirties now.

Notable others:

None

CA of X or above:

190 : 0 … 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0

180 : 0 … 0, 0, 0, 1, 1, 1, 0, 0, 0

170 : 0 … 9, 5, 6, 7, 8, 7, 5, 5, 4

160 : 0 … 17, 19, 18, 19, 11, 15, 16, 18, 14

150 : 0 … 23, 25, 27, 26, 21, 19, 20, 23, 22

140 : 0 … 29, 33, 29, 26, 22, 21, 20, 24, 22

130 : 0 … 32, 35, 30, 26, 24, 22, 21, 25, 25

120 : 0 … 35, 36, 31, 27, 25, 23, 21, 25, 25

110 : 0 … 37, 39, 31, 27, 25, 25, 23, 25, 25

100 : 2 … 36, 38, 41, 29, 27, 26, 23, 26, 25

Ouch. At 170+ the number drops, and it isn’t even as if those in that range are pushing 180 – the two best are 173 and thirty years old. Below that, the number of players at 160+ falls alarmingly.

They only have 25 players, and some of them really aren’t good enough. And remember, it was only in January that some of these players arrived.

[OrientMartin]

A mixed bag there by Yates. I still remain cautiously optomistic that if the board keep hold of one manager for more than about a year we can make progress.

Or they'll sack Yates and the cycle will repeat.

[kipfizh]

Bandits report – Season report

August-December

After a lousy summer of transfers, the mood around the club could hardly differ more from the optimism of last year. So it was a surprise to see the club top of the league after two games, both impressive 3-1 wins over Burnley and Liverpool, two of the better sides in the league.

It turned out to be an overly rosy beginning, as soon the club was returning to type. Three consecutive losses put them back in the midtable mix, although a win over Stevenage in the League Cup at least gave them something to cheer.

Throughout October and November the only thing you could guarantee was their inconsistency. Every five matches, they’d win one, draw a couple and lose a couple, and soon they were languishing in the bottom half, without too many relegation worries, unlike last season.

A couple more losses in early December slipped them down to 16th, and any thoughts that the League Cup would provide respite were ended by a 3-1 defeat at Tottenham. But a strong end to December, with a win over Arsenal and a couple of creditable draws, saw them end the year in 14th.

And in truth, it had been monumentally dull. Every time they threatened to hit the top half, a couple of losses knocked them back to the 12th-15th area. Every time they looked like they might get sucked into a relegation battle, they won a game and headed back into the mix.

Right now, it would take an extraordinary run of form to reach Europe, and a terrible run to get into the relegation mix. This is shaping up to be one of the most boring seasons in their history.

January-May

With the fans, and the report writer, incredibly apathetic about the season, Yates did his best to inject life into it by making three excellent signings in January, including the exciting winger David Ramos. Could they make the difference?

It started well – the first game of 2060 was an FA Cup tie at Colchester. New teenage striker Thomas Mintus was thrown into the side, and the newcomer put in a man of the match performance, scoring both goals in a 2-0 win. Days later, he scored again in a 2-1 win over Liverpool. The fans had a new favourite.

Three consecutive 1-1 draws kept them in lower midtable, before the new signings shone again in the FA Cup tie at Aldershot, Mintus and Ramos scoring in a 2-1 win. It was to be a false dawn for both – it was Ramos’ only goal of the season, and Mintus only notched a couple more for the rest of the season.

Their form dipped alarmingly in the league, bad losses to Crystal Palace and Colchester providing the warm up to what would be a disappointing fifth round FA Cup tie at Port Vale, the hosts winning 2-1 and practically ending the Bandits’ season.

Yates drummed it into the players that they must not give up on the campaign, and it seemed to work, five wins in the next seven games sending them up to 10th, their first appearance in the top half since the opening few matches. There were even hopes of a late European challenge with five games remaining.

Those hopes were spectacularly dashed when their form collapsed, however. Four consecutive losses saw them fall all the way to 16th, and they were set to finished lower than they had since their first season in the Premiership 23 years ago. But a final day victory pushed them back up to 14th, still a great disappointment.

And that was the end of the season. Realistically, they were never going to make a European challenge, but they kept picking up enough points to avoid a relegation battle. Overall, this has to go down as one of the dullest seasons ever.

Snore.

Honours: League Cup (2044, 2047, 2052)

[kipfizh]

Bandits report – Season summary

2006-07, English Conference South - 1st, FA Trophy - Winners

2007-08, English National Conference - 7th, FA Trophy - Final

2008-09, English National Conference – 7th

2009-10, English National Conference – 9th

2010-11, English National Conference – 6th

2011-12, English National Conference – 18th

2012-13, English National Conference – 5th

2013-14, English National Conference – 1st

2014-15, English League Two – 21st

2015-16, English League Two – 21st

2016-17, English League Two – 6th

2017-18, English League Two – 6th

2018-19, English League Two – 7th

2019-20, English League Two – 6th, Johnstone’s Paint Trophy – South Semi Final

2020-21, English League Two – 10th

2021-22, English League Two – 1st, Johnstone’s Paint Trophy - Final

2022-23, English League One – 13th, Johnstone’s Paint Trophy – South Semi Final

2023-24, English League One – 11th, League Cup – Final

2024-25, English League One – 11th, League Cup – Semi-Final

2025-26, English League One – 18th

2026-27, English League One – 17th

2027-28, English League One – 14th

2028-29, English League One – 20th

2029-30, English League One – 1st

2030-31, English Championship – 14th

2031-32, English Championship – 10th, League Cup – Final

2032-33, English Championship – 12th

2033-34, English Championship – 8th

2034-35, English Championship – 21st

2035-36, English Championship – 2nd

2036-37, English Premiership – 17th

2037-38, English Premiership – 12th

2038-39, English Premiership – 15th, FA Cup – Semi-Final

2039-40, English Premiership – 11th

2040-41, English Premiership – 14th

2041-42, English Premiership – 13th

2042-43, English Premiership – 11th

2043-44, English Premiership – 6th, League Cup – Winners

2044-45, English Premiership – 9th

2045-46, English Premiership – 3rd

2046-47, English Premiership – 2nd, League Cup – Winners

2047-48, English Premiership – 5th, League Cup – Final

2048-49, English Premiership – 5th, UEFA Cup – Semi-Final

2049-50, English Premiership – 11th, League Cup – Final

2050-51, English Premiership – 6th

2051-52, English Premiership – 9th, League Cup – Winners

2052-53, English Premiership – 3rd

2053-54, English Premiership – 5th, UEFA Cup – Semi-Final, FA Cup – Semi-Final

2054-55, English Premiership: (Pos 6), P 38, W 18, D 7, L 13, F 64, A 57, GD +7, Pts 61

2055-56

English Premiership: (Pos 6), P 38, W 16, D 9, L 13, F 61, A 54, GD +7, Pts 57

(Media Prediction: 4th)

FA Cup: 3rd Round

League Cup: 4th Round

2056-57

English Premiership: (Pos 14), P 38, W 13, D 9, L 16, F 61, A 60, GD +1, Pts 48

(Media Prediction: 4th)

UEFA Cup: 1st Round

FA Cup: 3rd Round

League Cup: 4th Round

2057-58

English Premiership: (Pos 12), P 38, W 13, D 13, L 12, F 54, A 52, GD +2, Pts 52

(Media Prediction: 10th)

FA Cup: 4th Round

League Cup: 2nd Round

2058-59

English Premiership: (Pos 13), P 38, W 13, D 7, L 18, F 52, A 62, GD -10, Pts 46

(Media Prediction: 13th)

FA Cup: Final

League Cup: Quarter-Final

2059-60

English Premiership: (Pos 14), P 38, W 13, D 8, L 17, F 48, A 51, GD -3, Pts 47

(Media Prediction: 12th)

League

FA Cup: 5th Round

League Cup: 3rd Round

[kipfizh]

Bandits report - Best and Worst

General

Stats

Finance Overview

New records:

Oldest Player – Liam Johnstone (38 years 282 weeks v West Ham)

This season:

Best player – Messner, 7.51

Top scorer – Messner, 17

Worst player – Rodriguez, 6.64

The Bandits continue their swapping with Barcelona, dropping back to second in the rich list.

Rich Clubs

[kipfizh]

Bandits report - First XI Summary

GK: McParland (30, 173/173) – 7.36

LB: Sadar (30, 173/174) – 6.89

CB: Thomas (31, 163/173) – 7.11

CB: Ricketts (28, 171/173) – 7.21

RB: Laiho (26, 156/173) – 7.03

LM: Ramos (23, 167/188) – 7.13

CM: Diane (30, 162/170) – 6.97

CM: Peters (22, 159/176) – 7.00

RM: Joel (26, 163/172) – 6.76

ST: Rubio (31, 163/184) – 7.30

ST: Messner (31, 166/175) – 7.51

Average age – 28.0 (up from last year’s 27.4)

Average CA – 165.1 (up from last year’s 164.3)

Average rating – 7.12 (up from last year’s 7.00)

The average rating of the first team was actually a very healthy 7.12, but the club still came in the bottom half. And that tells you everything you need to know.

It tells you that there are some stars in the side, so when the first team play together they are a danger to anyone. But it also tells you that there’s no depth to the squad, and a few injuries inevitably leads to a terrible run of form.

The age factor is again a concern. Messner shone again this season, but Rubio’s rating dropped from 7.70 to 7.30 and his CA fell by ten. That pairing have been incredible for years now, but they can’t keep going much longer.

[kipfizh]

Bandits report – Outside the first XI

Dropped:

Casali (RM): He is dreadful, and has thankfully been dropped.

Howarth (CM): Still a prospect, but for now out of the side

de Lange (ST): After one season in the side, Messner forced him out again.

Sold:

Fernandez (RB): Moved to Arsenal for 10m but it would’ve been better to keep him.

Griffin (CB): Is 33 now, and the Bandits have quite a few central defenders.

Harris (LM): Sold for a large fee and well replaced with the exciting Ramos.

Prospects

Gould (19, 158/184) – New teenage signing Gould who could be a deadly winger if he gets a bit quicker.

Howarth (22, 161/178) – Didn’t play well this season, but can improve.

Last season’s prospects, Machin, Edwards and Larsen, were all sold.

[kipfizh]

Competitions - Other stats

England qualified with ease for the European Championships, winning all twelve games, but have a pretty tricky group – Croatia, Czech Republic and Scotland stand in their way. Wales also made it, while Serbia will feel they got the short straw, being drawn in a group with Holland, Germany and Italy.

Sheff Wed’s reign at the top of the English game ended after five consecutive Premiership trophies, with West Brom taking their crown in a hard fought season. Spurs came second, before Sheff Wed came in an unfamiliar third. Colchester had a great season, coming in third, while QPR, Barnet and Sunderland dropped out of the league.

Newcastle completed destroyed the Championship, winning it by a 23 points margin, and return to the Premiership along with Everton and Derby. For Everton, this marks the return to the top flight after 26 years away.

Spurs had a great season, coming second in the Premiership and then lifting the FA Cup, beating Nottm Forest in extra time in the final, former Bandits Aaron Lomas scoring the winner.

Meanwhile, the League Cup final was astonishing, with four goals in four minutes early on. Sheff Wed took a two goal lead over West Brom with goals in the fourth and fifth minutes, before West Brom struck back with replies in the sixth and seventh. To add to the excitement, by the twenty minute mark both teams were down to ten men.

Injuries in the second half meant that Sheff Wed played out most of extra time with nine men, but they eventually got some revenge on West Brom with a comfortable shoot out victory. Meanwhile, Watford’s record of nineteen games without a victory ended with a 2-1 win over Portsmouth, seventeen years after their last triumph.

Sheff Wed also tasted success in Europe, putting their league disappointment behind them to claim an extra time victory over Milan and lift the Champions League trophy. Milan’s run to the final was marred with cards – they picked up a record 31 yellows and two reds along the way. Burnley made it a great season for the Premiership with their first European trophy – a UEFA Cup triumph over Juventus.

[kipfizh]

Premiership Analysis - Reputation

(league position in bold)

1 (2). Sheff Wed (3) – 9511 (+20)

2 (8). West Brom (1) – 8246 (+543)

3 (3). Man Utd (4) – 8242 (+41)

4 (2). Burnley (8) – 8217 (-313)

5 (4). Chelsea (12) – 8166 (-12)

6 (5). Tottenham (2) – 8087 (-43)

7 (6). Liverpool (6) – 7900 (-214)

8 (7). West Ham (9) – 7550 (-217)

9 (11). Leeds (15) – 7505 (+141)

10 (9). Colchester (7) – 7239 (-308)

11 (13). Aston Villa (5) – 7134 (-134)

12 (14). Crystal Palace (11) – 7060 (-49)

13 (17). Chesterfield (17) – 6938 (+231)

14 (12). Bandits (14) – 6920 (-394)

15 (15). Port Vale (16) – 6854 (-81)

16 (16). Arsenal (10) – 6731 (-146)

17 (-). Hull (13) – 6084 (+151)

18 (10). QPR (18) – 6075 (-1428)

19 (-). Sunderland (20) – 5665 (-851)

20 (-). Barnet (19) – 5585 (+153)

Promoted sides

Newcastle – 7139 (+728)

Everton – 5396

Derby – 5742

Sheff Wed may have lost their Premiership crown, but their European triumph keeps them easily on top of the pile, with their reputation even improving. West Brom’s league win takes them from eighth to second and establishes them as a real force, while the rest of the top ten just shuffle around.

Colchester and the Bandits suffer heavy losses that will cause them problems going forward, but nothing on the scale of QPR, who used to be a Premiership giant but drop nearly a thousand and a half points due to relegation.

Of those coming up, Newcastle should survive, but both Everton and Derby are in trouble.

[kipfizh]

Summary

A thoroughly boring season saw the Bandits never threaten to push for a European place, and also never find themselves in relegation danger, which is at least an improvement on last season. They are stagnating a bit at the moment, with an uninspiring manager and a squad that is slowing losing its exciting stars.

It seems every year we say the same things – we need some kids with potential, and we need to stop selling everyone who shines. But as a bottom half club, those top players won’t join, and won’t stay.

Sheff Wed’s reign is over – their awesome five Premiership titles in a row was ended by West Brom’s first top flight trophy in 140 years. 1920 was the last time they ruled the English game. But don’t write off Sheff Wed – they may have slipped in the league but still claimed both the Champions League and League Cup.

Has anyone got any optimism for next season?

[kipfizh]

World View - World beaters (by CA)

Juan Carlos Gimenez (Lyon/Argentina, 23, 199/199, Midfielder: 75.86%), shoots up to first on the list, gaining the last nine points of his potential to reach 199 at the age of only 23, an incredible feat. And he deserves the accolades as he was absolutely superb for Lyon this season, averaging 7.50 and controlling most of their games. This guy could become a legend over the next few seasons.

Juan Carlos Gimenez

Roberio (Marseille/Brazil, 26, 198/198, Winger: 79.08%), gains the last four points of his potential and as such probably expected to stay top of the list. But no matter – like Gimenez he is lighting up the French league, averaging a very healthy 7.48 and managing to score 17 goals from the wing. He is a truly superb winger, only blighted by his disciplinary problems – 15 yellows and four reds this season.

Roberio

Nenad Mijatovic (Milan/Serbia, 25, 197/199, Centre Back: 78.96%), is also on the rise, gaining seven points to push him towards his massive potential, and moves up to third place in the list. Big, strong and powerful, with pace to back him up, Mijatovic is a rock of a centre back, and played a big part in Milan’s run to the Champions League final.

Nenad Mijatovic

Mathieu Adam (Real Madrid/France, 30, 192/192, Goalkeeper: 76.16%), remains at his peak as he enters his thirties, but drops to fourth on the list after improvements from others. As ever, he is an incredible keeper, averaging 7.73 and giving Real Madrid some real stability at the back. He also seems to have become French first choice, not conceding a goal in his eight caps this season.

Mathieu Adam

Ismael Romero (Inter/Colombia, 29, 190/190, Goalkeeper: 75.48%), is a new entry on the list having reached his potential of 190. Like Adam, he performs supremely for his club, averaging 7.62 for Inter. At 29, he is unlikely to be on this list long, but congratulations to him.

Ismael Romero

Interesting that the top two players in the world play outside the big three leagues of England, Spain and Italy, both plying their trade in France.

[kipfizh]

Sorry folks, kept you waiting for an update there and it turned out to be the most snorevilly season in history.

And no, snorevilly isn't a word. But I think it should be.

[OrientMartin]

Kip, have you ever fancied taking over the Bandits yourself?

Must be frustrating watching them fluctuate around mid table when they have the resources to do so much more.

Also it would be interesting to know the reputation of some of the recent Bandits managers when they took over. It seems to me that chairmen don't appoint managers on CA or PA but on reputation.