dafuge Posted April 12, 2009 Share Posted April 12, 2009 dafuge Hungary for Success New Hungarian CEO dafuge has expressed his delight in taking over this mediocre nation with a firm intent to dominate the world. dafuge: "I've always loved this country, it has a deep tradition in football with such legendary players such as Ferenc Puskas .... Zoltan Gera and ... erm ... yeah, well that Puskas was mint" When asked about the four clubs he would be representing, he had no higher praise. dafuge: "I have my upmost confidence in Debrecen, ZTE ... and the other two (I think one of them starts with G). These clubs surely have what it takes to dominate Europe for years to come." Finally, dafuge was asked about the man in charge of taking his glorious nation to European domination. dafuge: "His name is 'Kenco'. I'm hoping he can be an instant success since he has a rich aroma of authority about him." Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kenco Posted April 12, 2009 Share Posted April 12, 2009 Rookie handed Hungary challenge Rookie manager Kenco has been appointed by new Hungarian CEO Dafuge as the man to take on the mammoth task of managing the national team as well as the top 4 league clubs. Here's what the new manager had to say: Kenco: I'd like to express my thanks to the new CEO, Dafuge, not only for his vision for the future of Hungarian football, or for the resources he has pumped into this vision, but also for handing me my first management role. I am very much looking forward to help shape the fortunes of the Hungarian national side, as well as Debrecen, ZTE and the other two. Now, as much as I'd like to hang around talking to a bunch of reporters, all this talk of Hungary is making me realise my dinner is getting cold. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
PluckaDuck Posted April 12, 2009 Share Posted April 12, 2009 I reckon the Austrian database test will be far more successful than the Welsh one! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
spartans5 Posted April 13, 2009 Share Posted April 13, 2009 Keep dreaming PluckaDuck Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chelsea4Lyf Posted April 13, 2009 Share Posted April 13, 2009 I reckon the Austrian database test will be far more successful than the Welsh one! But average when compared to the Bulgarian one Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
rancer890 Posted April 13, 2009 Share Posted April 13, 2009 We all know Finland will have the most success. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest mikeytwigge Posted April 13, 2009 Share Posted April 13, 2009 your all forgetting about isreal Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lower Leagues Rule Posted April 13, 2009 Share Posted April 13, 2009 Haha you all don't need to use sarcasm when discussing your own chances, just makes you look a little foolish when Poland wipes the floor with all of you. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
weeeman27bob Posted April 13, 2009 Share Posted April 13, 2009 dafuge Hungary for SuccessNew Hungarian CEO dafuge has expressed his delight in taking over this mediocre nation with a firm intent to dominate the world. dafuge: "I've always loved this country, it has a deep tradition in football with such legendary players such as Ferenc Puskas .... Zoltan Gera and ... erm ... yeah, well that Puskas was mint" When asked about the four clubs he would be representing, he had no higher praise. dafuge: "I have my upmost confidence in Debrecen, ZTE ... and the other two (I think one of them starts with G). These clubs surely have what it takes to dominate Europe for years to come." Finally, dafuge was asked about the man in charge of taking his glorious nation to European domination. dafuge: "His name is 'Kenco'. I'm hoping he can be an instant success since he has a rich aroma of authority about him." You really should infract yourself for that title dafuge. And the last line as well. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaulHartman71 Posted April 13, 2009 Author Share Posted April 13, 2009 Test 2 is over, I'm not going to go into as much detail as I did in the past update. But I can tell you that one of the 8 teams (I wont reveal whether they were Welsh or Northern Irish) within the 10 years reached both the Champions League Semi final, and then the next year the Final itself! The team in question ended the 10 year test ranked the 9th best team in Europe, helping his Nation to becoming the 5th best European Nation in the Nation Coefficients! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimmyriddle Posted April 13, 2009 Share Posted April 13, 2009 Got to be Northern Irealnd as they have me as manager Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
fdawsoniv Posted April 13, 2009 Share Posted April 13, 2009 Good. Switzerland was one of the countries I wanted. I was a bit confused about how exactly this was going to work, but I'm enjoying the test results and think this will be a fun thread to follow. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
pnefc22 Posted April 13, 2009 Share Posted April 13, 2009 So, that means that it really is inevitable the domination of our teams Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
bermybhoy Posted April 13, 2009 Share Posted April 13, 2009 New Big Cheese of Swiss FA: "Things will run like clockwork" New Swiss FA CEO Bermybhoy was yodelling with delight at taking over the running of football in the country. "I'm really excited about chucking a vast amount of my hard-earned cash into Swiss football" he said "to be fair it's all in secret bank accounts there anyway." When questioned about his choice of nation to back with his mind-biggling fortune, Bermybhoy reflected: "Well they've done nothing have they? I mean, they had one decent World Cup when they hosted it, but didn't have any dodgy Russian linesmen to help win them the trophy like certain other Mediocre Football Nations. "I think it will be fantastic to pick some holes in the theory that small countries can't have success in Europe any more. We have a mountain to climb - well we have loads actually, but you know what I mean." When questioned about his choice of manager, bermybhoy commented: "Fdawsoniv? Well, I've never really heard of him, but I'm fairly sure he'll bring a lot to the table and look forward to working with him." The Swiss populace is said to be entirely neutral to the day's events. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
spartans5 Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 Bermy, those were absolutely horrible puns Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
weeeman27bob Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 Bermy, those were absolutely horrible puns Seconded . Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
corinthiano Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 but didn't have any dodgy Russian linesmen to help win them the trophy like certain other Mediocre Football Nations. That was pretty funny I think, but most importantly, very true Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lower Leagues Rule Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 Seconded . Thirded (is that a word?) Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimmyriddle Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 i thought they were pretty funny actaully Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
dafuge Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 The Swiss populace is said to be entirely neutral to the day's events. Nice one Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
fdawsoniv Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 New Swiss manager Rick Dawson gave little away at his introductory press conference. "I am grateful for the opportunity the Swiss FA has provided me. I am dedicated to making Swiss football the best I can make it." When queried about his background and qualifications as manager, Dawson responded, "I have heard the disapproval over my resume and I understand the prejudice toward my nationality. But I have a vision for Swiss football, one that FA CEO Bermybhoy agrees with. He has dedicated his country's resources to backing my vision. How well that vision is executed will determine my worth as a manager." Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kenco Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 New Big Cheese of Swiss FA: "Things will run like clockwork"New Swiss FA CEO Bermybhoy was yodelling with delight at taking over the running of football in the country. "I'm really excited about chucking a vast amount of my hard-earned cash into Swiss football" he said "to be fair it's all in secret bank accounts there anyway." When questioned about his choice of nation to back with his mind-biggling fortune, Bermybhoy reflected: "Well they've done nothing have they? I mean, they had one decent World Cup when they hosted it, but didn't have any dodgy Russian linesmen to help win them the trophy like certain other Mediocre Football Nations. "I think it will be fantastic to pick some holes in the theory that small countries can't have success in Europe any more. We have a mountain to climb - well we have loads actually, but you know what I mean." When questioned about his choice of manager, bermybhoy commented: "Fdawsoniv? Well, I've never really heard of him, but I'm fairly sure he'll bring a lot to the table and look forward to working with him." The Swiss populace is said to be entirely neutral to the day's events. Some dodgy puns in this speech, but I'll agree with my CEO, the last line raised a wry smile. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
pnefc22 Posted April 15, 2009 Share Posted April 15, 2009 Luman to carry nation into a new era Earlier today, Slovenia appointed Wobill Luman as their new CEO. This is seen as a shock appointment in the country with their old CEO, Bostjan Cesar being sacked last week after he released confidential information regarding the nation's football setup to other countries, which are yet to be named. This move to appoint Luman has surprisingly been heralded as a master-piece, with Slovenians craving to see Luman in action, as he takes the sub-standard Slovenian football and turns into world-beating football. Luman is going to be conducting his first ever live TV interview as the Slovakian CEO of football, later today. It will be broadcast live across the nation on the Slovakian main sports news channel, SSN (Slovakian Sports News). We have got Wobill Luman here, for his first ever newspaper interview where he will be interviewed by the world’s best female reporter, Linda Stanvokic: Linda: I would like to start off by thanking you for giving us the opportunity to have the first ever interview with you. Wobill Luman: It’s my pleasure. L: There are rumours that you are quite a rich businessman and that you are willing to pump money into the football in Slovenia to try and improve its standard. What do you say of these rumours? WL: I haven’t heard these rumours but they are quite accurate. I am a very rich businessman and I have already decided how I am going to improve the standard of Slovenian football. L: Would you be happy enough to tell us how you are going to spend this money and how it will improve the country’s football standard? WL: To put it basically, my plan is youth. This means that I will pump money, and where not talking small peanuts here, we are talking the whole banana, into the youth across the country. I will be making the top 4 Slovenian clubs, all have world class youth facilities and training facilities, as this is the only sustainable way of improving Slovenian football. I’m not promising a quick revolution in Slovenian football, as it won’t be quick. It will take time but it will improve. We will have wonder-kids churning through the system at quite a speed soon, but I must reassure you that ‘soon’ does not mean tomorrow, it means 5 years or maybe, more. L: 19 other countries also appointed new CEO’s today. Was this an organised move between the countries? WL: There was a meeting between the countries. L: Can you tell us any more about this meeting? WL: Sorry, no, that is all I know. L: Do you know if the countries were on good terms during the meeting? WL: As far as I know, we were all on good terms. Why do you ask? What’s happened? L: Arguments have erupted between certain countries, with the main source of it being blamed on the new finish CEO, Ricky Nakano and their new manager, whose name seems to evade most minds. Have you met Mr. Nakano? WL: If I told you, I’m afraid I would have to kill you. (Linda looks alarmed) Just joking. I have met Nakano a few times. We are both quite crap players in a game show of ours ‘It could be you who’s crap again…’. And, to be fair to the man, we get on very well. He’s a nice chap and we have a good understanding of each other. I am confident that his finnish team will become good but not the best. In 15 years time, it will be Slovenian ranked first in the world, and Finland ranked second, as we are the two best CEO’s. We are both confident, intelligent, charismatic and some say a bit arrogant, but to succeed you have to have a bit of arrogance. L: The new finish manager has recently been blasted in the press for stirring up unnecessary controversy. What do you say of this? WL: There is not much more to say. He is not a good manager, and has a very low reputation. Some say that even the locals can’t remember his name. I think it’s Peter Griffin, I could be wrong though. He’s is the opposite of me and Nakano. Stupid, weak, a poor motivator and his tactical knowledge leaves something to be desired. I will tell Nakano next time I see him that he must get himself some new managers, as this boy is no good. I am assured that he will listen as he is a good friend of mine and is an intelligent person who knows when he has a good man in charge. L: Enough talk about other managers and CEO’s. Your manager Mr. Salter is liked in Slovenia and is seen as quite a tactical genius. What do you think of him? WL: I have not met him yet, apart from a passing word, from which he oozed football knowledge and he certainly won’t have problems motivating his team. I do need to call him in for a meeting about the future and see if he wants any of my billions spent on anything in particular in the Slovenian set-up. L: Thank you for your time, Wobill. Could I request an interview with you at the same time next week to see how things are going then? WL: No problem, and you can have an interview any time you want. You have my number and I have yours so, whenever you want an interview just give me a ring, and I will do the same. L: That sounds great. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
DodgeeD Posted April 15, 2009 Share Posted April 15, 2009 'There is nor-way we will lose!' New Norway 'creative director' DodgeeD proved today that he can match and indeed surpass his fellow mediocre nation CEOs when it comes to, well, dodgy puns. When asked if he felt the other nations would present a challenge to his newly-adopted home country, the CEO said 'absolutely nor-way' to heavy groans from the attending journalists. But he was not done there. When asked what knowledge he had of Norwegian football and it's players past and present he replied 'I intend to go with the Flo'. In response to questions about how the top four clubs would compete against their opponents in European competition, he answered 'we will Lillehammer them with our own unique Brann of football'. With several journalist heading for the exits already, one more intrepid reporter asked for the CEOs opinion of the new manager. DodgeeD cleared the room by saying 'this is the beginning of an era not of idiocity but of Ediocy.' Staring at an empty press hall, the CEO is alleged to have said 'but I didn't even get to use my brilliant Solskjaer pun - guess I'll have to save it for later.' Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whoopy D Posted April 15, 2009 Share Posted April 15, 2009 'There is nor-way we will lose!'New Norway 'creative director' DodgeeD proved today that he can match and indeed surpass his fellow mediocre nation CEOs when it comes to, well, dodgy puns. When asked if he felt the other nations would present a challenge to his newly-adopted home country, the CEO said 'absolutely nor-way' to heavy groans from the attending journalists. But he was not done there. When asked what knowledge he had of Norwegian football and it's players past and present he replied 'I intend to go with the Flo'. In response to questions about how the top four clubs would compete against their opponents in European competition, he answered 'we will Lillehammer them with our own unique Brann of football'. With several journalist heading for the exits already, one more intrepid reporter asked for the CEOs opinion of the new manager. DodgeeD cleared the room by saying 'this is the beginning of an era not of idiocity but of Ediocy.' Staring at an empty press hall, the CEO is alleged to have said 'but I didn't even get to use my brilliant Solskjaer pun - guess I'll have to save it for later.' Best one yet I recon :thup: Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chelsea4Lyf Posted April 15, 2009 Share Posted April 15, 2009 'There is nor-way we will lose!' New Norway 'creative director' DodgeeD proved today that he can match and indeed surpass his fellow mediocre nation CEOs when it comes to, well, dodgy puns. When asked if he felt the other nations would present a challenge to his newly-adopted home country, the CEO said 'absolutely nor-way' to heavy groans from the attending journalists. But he was not done there. When asked what knowledge he had of Norwegian football and it's players past and present he replied 'I intend to go with the Flo'. In response to questions about how the top four clubs would compete against their opponents in European competition, he answered 'we will Lillehammer them with our own unique Brann of football'. With several journalist heading for the exits already, one more intrepid reporter asked for the CEOs opinion of the new manager. DodgeeD cleared the room by saying 'this is the beginning of an era not of idiocity but of Ediocy.' Staring at an empty press hall, the CEO is alleged to have said 'but I didn't even get to use my brilliant Solskjaer pun - guess I'll have to save it for later.' Haha that was really good. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
minisav Posted April 15, 2009 Share Posted April 15, 2009 Chelsea4Lyf Make sure your speech is simple and make sure you give it the reading of the proof variety many times. Mr Nakano is out to get us. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimmyriddle Posted April 15, 2009 Share Posted April 15, 2009 amazing absolutely brilliant Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
pnefc22 Posted April 15, 2009 Share Posted April 15, 2009 'There is nor-way we will lose!' New Norway 'creative director' DodgeeD proved today that he can match and indeed surpass his fellow mediocre nation CEOs when it comes to, well, dodgy puns. When asked if he felt the other nations would present a challenge to his newly-adopted home country, the CEO said 'absolutely nor-way' to heavy groans from the attending journalists. But he was not done there. When asked what knowledge he had of Norwegian football and it's players past and present he replied 'I intend to go with the Flo'. In response to questions about how the top four clubs would compete against their opponents in European competition, he answered 'we will Lillehammer them with our own unique Brann of football'. With several journalist heading for the exits already, one more intrepid reporter asked for the CEOs opinion of the new manager. DodgeeD cleared the room by saying 'this is the beginning of an era not of idiocity but of Ediocy.' Staring at an empty press hall, the CEO is alleged to have said 'but I didn't even get to use my brilliant Solskjaer pun - guess I'll have to save it for later.' I think we have a winner Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chelsea4Lyf Posted April 15, 2009 Share Posted April 15, 2009 Chelsea4Lyf Make sure your speech is simple and make sure you give it the reading of the proof variety many times. Mr Nakano is out to get us. I will. I'll try do my speech tonight. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimmyriddle Posted April 15, 2009 Share Posted April 15, 2009 I will. I'll try do my speech tonight. is it going to be a long night then? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chelsea4Lyf Posted April 15, 2009 Share Posted April 15, 2009 is it going to be a long night then? Well my CEO is very demanding Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaulHartman71 Posted April 15, 2009 Author Share Posted April 15, 2009 AFMEN Announcement! * (Association For Mediocre European Nations) AFMEN today announced plans for Rules and official competitions. AFMEN, the organization between the radical and quite drastic recent changes in 20 of Europe's most 'Mediocre' domestic footballing nations, made this announcement following recent confusion among some of the twenty Nations on the commitee. "I don't think that there was a high sense of confusion among the Nations at all, we just hadn't seen the point in giving out any details of rules and the competition point system before the competition was near to starting. Many CEO's had been questioned by various journalists in their own Countries and from what we were told none of them seemed to know anything about the points systems or rules. Some Nations broke out in immediate bickering, some only sent messages in Morse Code, some came out with cringeworthy puns that there was nor-way of which anyone could find funny, and there was one we couldn't understand, we just heard a lot about sitting on a fence and being completely neutral towards everything" an AFMEN official stated. Whilst officials stated there were pretty much no rules in the competition, they came out with a surprisingly simple point system: 40 Points - Bonus for winning the Champions League 20 Points - Progression from a round in the Champions League * 10 Points - A win in the Champions League 6 Points - A draw in the Champions League 2 Points - As a bonus for every game played in the Champions League 20 Points - Bonus for winning the Europa League 10 Points - Progression from a round in the Europa League * 5 Points - A win in the Europa League 3 Points - A draw in the Europa League 1 Point - As a bonus for every game played in the Champions League * - Elimination from a Champions League round and then being placed in the Europa League does not count as progression from either Competition. When the points system was announced, all of the twenty Nations representatives seemed to be fairly content with the system, however one Nation refused to comment either way and declared itself entirely neutral on the situation. "It will be very interesting to see how the competitions unfold, the first one will be the most anticipated of them all and as we revealed earlier also the most important of them all" an AFMEN official stated after shocking the 20 Nations by confirming that in each competition, only the top 5 Nations will receive the opportunity to improve their Nation. This in theory, means that whichever teams finish in the top 5 in the first season, will reap the long term benefits and have the best chance of going on to be one of the dominant Nations. He also revealed that whichever team finishes first will be given the most improvements opportunities, although second down to fifth will receive some improvement, first place is the one that everybody is going to be wanting. Little more was said at the press conference, we are not sure if anymore AFMEN announcements will be made in the near future, but we can certainly expect some feedback from some of the 20 CEO's following this announcement. The majority abusive exchanges between the Finnish and pretty much anyone that gets in their way, but feedback is feedback. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimmyriddle Posted April 15, 2009 Share Posted April 15, 2009 may i just ask, how many tests have been done? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
rancer890 Posted April 15, 2009 Share Posted April 15, 2009 Rob, you're pushing it. Ricky Nakano talks to the Canadian media Reporter: Hello Mr. Nakano. I'll start things off. I'm Jade Chen from The Score. How do you feel to be representing Finland overseas? Ricky Nakano: It is a wonderful opportunity to prove that Finland is the future home of the greatest footballing nation on earth. Reporter: Daniel Mathias from TSN. There have been several reports of you causing a stir with other CEOs. Can you confirm these reports? R.N.: Yes, although it's mostly other countries picking Finland for a fight. We will back up our words on the pitch. Reporter: Alan James from Rogers Sportsnet. One of the CEOs, Wobil Luman, says that the two of you get along very well. What's your thoughts on this? R.N.: Yes, we do get along very well. We have had several chats since meeting up on 'It could be you who’s crap again…’ To be honest, we were both crap. I guess we just didn't have the total package. Reporter: And he has also stated that Slovenia will have the best footballers. What do you think? R.N.: (laughs) Mr. Luman, Finland will be the best but Slovenia won't be that far behind! I predict they will be 2nd in the World Rankings one day, behind Finland. Seriously, it would be a nice rivarly between the two countries, unlike several disguntled nations who want to be enemies with me. I hope Slovenia and Finland both achieve success on the pitch. Reporter: What about his comments about your manager Daniel Griffin? R.N.: He has his opinions but I'm sure this will give Griffin more motivation to succeed. Reporter: Thank you for your time Mr. Nakano. Good luck. R.N.: You're welcome. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaulHartman71 Posted April 15, 2009 Author Share Posted April 15, 2009 may i just ask, how many tests have been done? I've finished tests. I was originally going to do tests for all 20 Nations as each Nation was added but I got bored of that after the fifth one and just added all of the data into the database. In terms of first updates, I'm not sure, but it wont be until at least Sunday. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimmyriddle Posted April 15, 2009 Share Posted April 15, 2009 cool can't wait to see this started! :D :D Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest mikeytwigge Posted April 15, 2009 Share Posted April 15, 2009 Statement from the C.E.O of Israel We demand an appology from all those nations who have attempted to make a mocery of the noble sport of football. We as a country feel that their is no place in sport for these poor countries attempting to be funny with their extremely poor jokes. If they want to mess about making jokes then we refer them to another "sport" called golf which is so dull even their poor efforts may be classed as funny and their could even be one person who may laugh (this is still unlikely because who would be the one person stupid enough to watch golf). As we are about to take our rightful place at the head of the footballing world order we are determined to stamp out anything that could possibly ruin the game of football. We are demanding to the head of the footballin world, Paul Hartman, that he punishes these countries with all posible punishments in his power up to and including banishment from the game of football. If he does not take this decisive action within a matter of days we will have to take it out on all the footballing world and not just the countries involved in the poor efforts at jokes. We will declare war on the pitch with a minimum of a 10-0 thrashing for each of the countries who did not stand up to the rouge countries at both club and international level. Also we will declare against the countries who tried to be funny by issuing them with a minimum sentence of a 15-0 thrashing. We urge the other countries to get behing our stance and then they may be spared humiliation on the footballing pitch. If my manager does not agree with me he should remember he can be replaced Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chelsea4Lyf Posted April 15, 2009 Share Posted April 15, 2009 Aussie J.D. Replaces Stoilov In a shock move, relatively unknown Australian manager John Dorian has been hired by the Bulgarian Football Union. He was asked how he felt about being the new manager of the Bulgarian national team. He reponded, "I am very proud to become the new Bulgaria manager and I am confident that I will take them to the top." When asked about what he thought of the state of Bulgarian football Dorian replied, "Football is very important to the Bulgarian people, it is their national sport. They have some very talented players like Berbatov and Petrov. I feel that teams in their domestic league play some quality football." He was then asked what he thought of new CEO Stuart Saville. "I feel that we are very close. He is a very demanding CEO and that is really what you need, someone who helps you strive for success. We share common goals and a common hate of the Finnish national team." Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
d-machine Posted April 16, 2009 Share Posted April 16, 2009 Isreal Manager Introduced to Media After the Isreal CEO's statement about other mediocre nations attempt to drag down the name of football, Isreal's new manager, David Pierce, has issued a brief response. "I agree with everything mikeytwigge has to say. Further more, I believe that his expectations of 10-0 thrashing shall be met, as they'll be too destracted making up terrible puns to manage football in their countries." When asked whether he took mikeytwigge's threat of sacking him if he didn't agree seriously, Pierce replied "Of course not, don't be silly. He wouldn't do such a thing". This suggested he was just "sucking up" to his new boss, as we all that he would do it. ____________________ Sorry if it's crap, I've never done one before Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
hasdgfas Posted April 16, 2009 Share Posted April 16, 2009 New Croatian manager introduced In an unprecedented move, the Croatian FA has appointed Tim Aubel as their new manager. Being from the United States of America, it seems that the majority of the country is rather annoyed with this move as Americans play this strange game called "soccer" and their football allows everyone to use their hands, and Croatians don't feel that someone with that sort of knowledge of the beautiful sport of football should be allowed to manage their currently rather highly-ranked team. Here is an excerpt from his press conference with the media: ------------ Aubel:"Yes, it may be a strange choice, but I'm thankful for the chance to show that not all Americans are oblivious to this sport. I'd also like to say that while we do have players such as Darijo Srna, Luka Modric, and Eduardo, the domestic front is not looking so bright. I would hope that our club teams can get to the same high level that our players are at. Thank you." ------------ It appears that Aubel has some ambitious goals for Croatia, and now we will see whether he can live up to them. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ediocy Posted April 16, 2009 Share Posted April 16, 2009 Idiocy Reigns Norway had been buzzing with anticipation after the recent shakeup of their footballing hierarchy. After a century of relative mediocrity, much had been hyped up about the pair of mavericks that will be seeking to change all that. However, journalists had to give the new Norwegian 'creative director', the man who likes to be known as DodgeeD, the slip a scant few minutes into his press conference, after he had launched into his repertoire of punny one-liners. The hunt was then on for the rookie manager, upon whom high hopes have been pinned. Those expectations soon gave way when they came upon the man himself out in the hallway, looking like he had just stumbled out from the set of a on the Monty Python's Flying Circus show."Me da top man!" was his reply to whether he was indeed Andon Samuilov, the man tasked with bringing out the best of Norway and her leading four clubs. Suddenly there was a twinkle in everyone's eyes. Comparisons were already being made with one particular Jose Mourinho, that Norway was to have her own pompous little media darling. Further questions raised were quick to pour cold water over such a comparison however, and it became clear as day (the gulf in their dress sense emphatically adding to the contrast) that Samuilov lacks even an ounce of charisma in him. Hesitating for a long time with eyebrows arched quizzically after a query put forth as to whether he could "muster up a charge against Europe's top footballing nations and do Norway proud?", he finally flashed a toothy grin and came up with the one line, "Me da top man!" One hopeful journalist had tried to coax something more print-worthy out of him when he had asked if there were any plans for a change in the national captaincy or would Brede Hangeland still retain the captain's armband. The deafening silence from a perplexed-looking Samuilov was telling. As the bitterly disappointed journalists filed away, there were still cries of "Me da top man!" heard echoing the hallway. One question was on everyone's mind - just whose decision had it been to appoint such a fine specimen of an idiot as the heralded managerial saviour of Norway? Looks like Norway's gloomy days are not yet over by a long mile. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kenco Posted April 16, 2009 Share Posted April 16, 2009 Statement from the C.E.O of IsrealWe demand an appology from all those nations who have attempted to make a mocery of the noble sport of football. We as a country feel that their is no place in sport for these poor countries attempting to be funny with their extremely poor jokes. If they want to mess about making jokes then we refer them to another "sport" called golf which is so dull even their poor efforts may be classed as funny and their could even be one person who may laugh (this is still unlikely because who would be the one person stupid enough to watch golf). As we are about to take our rightful place at the head of the footballing world order we are determined to stamp out anything that could possibly ruin the game of football. We are demanding to the head of the footballin world, Paul Hartman, that he punishes these countries with all posible punishments in his power up to and including banishment from the game of football. If he does not take this decisive action within a matter of days we will have to take it out on all the footballing world and not just the countries involved in the poor efforts at jokes. We will declare war on the pitch with a minimum of a 10-0 thrashing for each of the countries who did not stand up to the rouge countries at both club and international level. Also we will declare against the countries who tried to be funny by issuing them with a minimum sentence of a 15-0 thrashing. We urge the other countries to get behing our stance and then they may be spared humiliation on the footballing pitch. If my manager does not agree with me he should remember he can be replaced I think you should apologise to your fans for being unable to spell Israel. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
minisav Posted April 16, 2009 Share Posted April 16, 2009 More like Isn'treal I like your speech J.D. It make happiness show on my face. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chelsea4Lyf Posted April 16, 2009 Share Posted April 16, 2009 More like Isn'treal I like your speech J.D. It make happiness show on my face. Get used to it Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tomaldinho Posted April 16, 2009 Share Posted April 16, 2009 New Chief Promises To Keep Rivals In Czech In a shock announcement yesterday unknown entity Tomaldinho was announced as the new Chairman of the Czech Republic Football Association. Whilst he was quick to play down the nature of his rise into such a prominent position, he was more than happy to speak about his plans for the future of Czech football. In a press conference he announced ‘I am delighted to be given this opportunity to take this great nation and turn it into a footballing powerhouse’. When questioned about who would be taking over the vacant national team job he responded ‘I will be sending in my one man Armley to look after all footballing matters’. It later turned out that former Luxembourg great Maz Armley would not only be taking over the national team role, but would also be taking the place as manager of the top four club jobs in the country. When asked what he made of the inane pun exchange taking place between rival nations he exclaimed ‘There is no way in hell I could be Koller-ed into such a farcical debate!’ and he stormed off stage. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kenco Posted April 16, 2009 Share Posted April 16, 2009 The mediocre puns war continues... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimmyriddle Posted April 16, 2009 Share Posted April 16, 2009 N.Irish Victory for Riddle "To be honest i thought some of my opponents where very stupid but there has been some very good pun play which i obviously can't Portadown. But it is always me who has the last Laff, ah tea. Evans though the national team is a bit Brunt i should be able to turn this team into a World Cup Winning team.. it's a Mcgivern :D" Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
spartans5 Posted April 16, 2009 Share Posted April 16, 2009 Lazewski Calls Out Riddle For Participating In Pun War Northern Irish CEO Lawrence Lazewski has publicly chastised Jimmy Riddle for participating in the awful pun war that has been going on saying, "It is absolutely ridiculous that people think using puns is going to make them seem witty, let's see how those puns treat them on the field as Northern Ireland takes over the world." Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaulHartman71 Posted April 16, 2009 Author Share Posted April 16, 2009 in case anyone that is reading this isn't already in this sign up, a place has just popped up as one of the Managers. Please get back to me if you are interested. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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