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Saving Football: Frauding A Nation


Deisler26

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2 minutes ago, BoxToBox said:

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Players morale is low, because of our bad form/start to the season.

We're miles above expectations, with but two players considered "good enough" for Ligue 2, but no, burn the whole thing down because we had to play PSG and Monaco in a row and lost both....

Damn.. sucks with those matches destroying morale, but still an amazing start to Ligue 1 football!

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3 hours ago, smp20 said:

Good effort that!

Thanks, was pushing the last 10 minutes for an equalisers, but they finished it with a perfect counter. Still proud on this effort.

 

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Just now, Benjoe said:

Damn.. sucks with those matches destroying morale, but still an amazing start to Ligue 1 football!

Yeah, hell, I'm bloody delighted all things considered, flying, only narrow losses to PSG and Monaco too, next thing the ass man is all up in my grill, "we need to have a team meeting...." Why to talk about how awesome everything is?

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A rather random game to highlight, but I have a reason. Note the date 15/12/2001. Ludo Giuly was playing for Monaco in this low key affair, but came off at half time after an important phone call. His other half was in the crowd and had gone into labour. On that night, a prodigy was born.

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Meet Parchisi Giuly. Now 19 years old, he's embarking on a managerial career very early. He joined PSG academy at the age of 8 and followed in his fathers footsteps everywhere - Monaco, Lorient, back to Monaco, where he was released at 16 for being 'too small'. A lightning fast, creative forward with an eye for goal, Parchisi thrived at youth level but struggled to adapt to the more physical game required for a modern day striker and lacked the discipline to play further back. He trialed for SC Bastia when Ludo had become manager but the then HOYD Bernard Sorco turned him away. He had a brief spell at Gazelec Ajaccio but was released after 6 months after only featuring for the B Team, followed by a few games at Corte, Bastia EF, Bastelicaccia whilst unsuccessfully trialing at OGC Nice, Red Star Paris and Greenock Morton. Frustrated and disillusioned, Parchisi went on a gap year to Africa, where he ended up coaching in Senegal & Gabon and decided he wanted to be a coach, not a player. On his return to Corsica in February he completed his National C licence and leaned on his father to help him get his first management job, just around the corner.

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And here we are, at AS Furiana. The club reached the 4th tier for just one season in 2017/18, since then they've been a mid-table 5th tier side. 

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“You actually want me to attend these matches?” Chauve asked.

“Umm... Yeah. What else would you, as a manager, be doing? You're expected to oversee training sessions, friendlies and matches,” Gary Allen responded. Gary was FC Mulhouse's president.

“Well with all due respect, those lads are pretty ****. I'd rather watch paint dry than see them play football. Could I not just come up with a tactic and give it to the assistant manager?”

“If it worked, then sure. But you can't just devise a tactic after watching one training session and expect it to work all season. You'll have to pay attention to the matches and friendlies and so on. The lads might be **** but that's all the more reason to fully focus on devising a quality tactic.”

“Hmmmmmmmm... Nah. I'll just leave a note telling the assman what to do. Sayonara, hermano.”

And with that, Chauve left the stadium. He'd booked a year long holiday and would get text reports from his assistant. 

Pffft. What fraud ever said managing was difficult?

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6 minutes ago, Fer Fuchs Ake said:

“You actually want me to attend these matches?” Chauve asked.

“Umm... Yeah. What else would you, as a manager, be doing? You're expected to oversee training sessions, friendlies and matches,” Gary Allen responded. Gary was FC Mulhouse's president.

“Well with all due respect, those lads are pretty ****. I'd rather watch paint dry than see them play football. Could I not just come up with a tactic and give it to the assistant manager?”

“If it worked, then sure. But you can't just devise a tactic after watching one training session and expect it to work all season. You'll have to pay attention to the matches and friendlies and so on. The lads might be **** but that's all the more reason to fully focus on devising a quality tactic.”

“Hmmmmmmmm... Nah. I'll just leave a note telling the assman what to do. Sayonara, hermano.”

And with that, Chauve left the stadium. He'd booked a year long holiday and would get text reports from his assistant. 

Pffft. What fraud ever said managing was difficult?

@Jupjamie approves

 

Don't forget the intakes though

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2016-17 Recap
The Cannet-Rocheville Massacre

 

So. Yeah. This was a great season. We lost just one real player to other teams. Just so happened to be one of only 3 real players on the attacking third. That crippled us way more than expected.

Then our other quality players were two CBs with decent ability, a quality keeper who did what he could the entire season, and then we had two full backs. The full backs where actually quite good for our level, but it just wasn't enough. Being played as CBs and holding midfielders were clearly not something they liked.

Now, relegated, we stand to lose all but two of our remaining 'real players'. 

Before we look at these guys, here are the general stats of the season.

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Oh, and some nice news regarding sponsors.

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Keep the good stuff coming, Benoit!

And here are the players, who all denied negotiating contracts with me:

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That's our best defenders, and my most creative outlet. We're getting stripped here. 

It hurts.

These are the guys who wants to stay, or at least negotiated.

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Andrietti... I've been (internally) screaming his name so many times. He's been top class for us. Maybe a couple of times he's been in my maniacal gifs, but I can't imagine them being many. 
He's really had some huge saves for us in our bad periods, and when he conceded it was mostly due to horrendous defending. Feels good to potentially have him next year.

Puyoo has scored a decent amount. 12 in 27 isn't completely awful, But mind, that 6 of those came in 3 cup matches where he went mad. So that makes it 6 goals and 5 assists in 24 league games. Not impressive at all for a striker who started all but two games for us.

But who was I supposed to bench him for?

This guy?

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Or how about Tony Le Bellec -- coolest name in town. But he's ****.

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And Yvan Roche isn't exactly cutting it either despite his sharp moustache.

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And those are the kind of players we have filling our ranks after the 'real players'.

I mean, this was my go-to midfield in the last 6 games:

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Anyways. Enough whining. We did aight to be honest with this bunch. 

The only team worse off team-wise than us was AS Fabrégues, and they got bent over worse than us. Yeah, I know, tough to imagine.

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It's true though.

We used a lot of different players this season.

At least 27. 

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But hey -- I didn't get fired! YET!

We are gonna take a couple of calm years in tier 6. Recoup, get some more **** regens. Develop said **** regens, and then come flying through the pyramid. 
I call it the pyramid scheme. 
Come join it. It's amazing.

- Maximuss downbound, but not out. 

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Voltigeurs de Chateaubriant

2020 YOUTH INTAKE

2020 yoof 1

FULL INTAKE OVERVIEW

A golden generation???? There are certainly three here that could be huge contributors when they're old enough.

--------------------------------------------------

Key Prospects

Pierre Lefebvre DM/MC

Adrien Gasnier DM/ML/AMC

Nuno Martins AMRL/ST

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“To think managers like Ferguson, Wenger and Mourinho actually went to matches. To think that those fools suffered through every training session. What utter frauds they are,” De Frauduleux chuckled, sipping from a martini resting on his poolside table.

He'd received the latest update from the assman. They'd set FC Mulhouse records! “No, I'VE set the record,” Chauve had corrected him. “You just followed orders. I'm the genius behind this genius... ness.”

De Frauduleux was feeling good. He was cruising with a tactic he'd created within a day of joining. What he didn't know was that he had just really pissed off his assistant manager. And you really don't want to annoy the guy you're relying on to get good results so you can stay employed...d4fb4eb3445c6ae0b38cd396aefdcc7b.thumb.png.8c34aa6586b19ae52b6df0cf2432f5c4.png93040a3a4490988aae6f7dfc59e4456e.thumb.png.9a4448266c554342741ecb93787c2766.png

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Over in France, the FC Mulhouse manager was plotting something. He was a vindictive lad, infuriated by this slight against him. “Vous avez fait une énorme erreur, mon ami,” he muttered.

 

Leaked recording of the FC Mulhouse assistant manager just after hanging up:

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Youth Intake Day!

Another golden generation, of course this is mainly because anything looks better sitting next to a flaming skip... Still, we have two exciting prospects.

What I needed most(perhaps ironically?) is a box to box mid, but a goalie was pretty high on the slit too, despite having a few handy prospects.

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No box to box, sure, but a goalie who's rated to already be as good as our starter, top stuff! Also a playmaker that looks really good.

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Best of all, Iturrino can start playing in January, and Díez from this summer on.

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1 hour ago, smp20 said:

Ooooh Iturrino and Diez look class! I've had a similar start to you in Ligue 1.

Could both be starters by summer 2023, I reckon.

22 minutes ago, smp20 said:

PSG hit us right in the Giulys 

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Ouch man, they had zero chill.

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24 minutes ago, BoxToBox said:

Could both be starters by summer 2023, I reckon.

Ouch man, they had zero chill.

Think stalker Mancini was fuming he didn't sign Mo Kara!

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Now that I'm two managers I've decided I'm going to just do seasonal updates, as well as one on youth intake day. Of course I will post other rubbish still!

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2 hours ago, enigmatic said:

Diez might be more of a playmaker type but looks like he'll grow quite nicely into a B2B role if he gets trained in it.

Might be what ends up happening, he'll be playing the role short/medium term from summer on anyway.

 

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1 hour ago, shaunvamos said:

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Our first international callup, and the Guinean leagues are loaded as well!

 

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I have no idea why he's white, he wasn't like that when we got him.

Looks decent! This happened to my Africans as well :lol: - a quick clear cache and skin reload will send him back to the correct ethnicity.

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13 hours ago, smp20 said:

Some of those players are atrocious @Benjoe - was always going to be difficult with those! Roll on a gem or two in the 6th tier to spur you back up the pyramid.

Yeah. I slowly realized this after the first few friendlies... 

Hopefully we can just grind out a couple of season in tier 6 where I blast through and then we can dig out the gems of the dirt.

13 hours ago, BoxToBox said:

Geebus.

Geebus what, mate? 

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Just now, BoxToBox said:

Hell of a fullback for this level.

Ahh, aye. Just perfect to have him wasted as a CB or DM.. 

He could probably have done a lot better as fullback no doubt. But eh. Maximuss wanted to use the ween. 

I can, however, reveal that #RepealtheWeen has won the (not public) voting. 

Next season in tier 6 will be with another formation. One that Maximuss and Samir likes a lot. It's their favorite thing to eat.. NO I JUST SAID IT WASN'T WEENERS.

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