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Everything posted by ManUtd1

  1. I had the exact same reaction! They qualified through the DFB-Pokal, but I didn't double-check their Group. Fun fact: earlier in the save, Neymar managed Union Berlin. And not in a glorious fashion.
  2. The thing about football – the important thing about football – is that it is not just about football. Celta Vigo / Belgium -- December 2047 We've righted the ship. Some big wins domestically and in Europe, coupled with a little luck, and we're right back in the thick of things. As we head into the winter break, I've decided to buckle down and scout some players for club and country. There's much work to be done. I've given Zlatan and Drake some time off, and they've decided to put it to good use -- taking mushrooms and going to a Renaissance Faire in Norfolk, in costume and character. They've even got their characters' names and backstories all worked up...I've honestly never seen them so excited about something. Zlatan? Naturally, he's styled himself as a chaotic good Paladin named Aegis Dawnbringer who keeps a pet...Bubbles, the chaotic neutral gorilla. (Yes, he bought a stuffed gorilla to carry around Norfolk... Because reasons, that's why. Don't ask silly questions...) Drake did Drake things...Bork MooseKnuckle, a lawful neutral Druid with an affinity for wood nymphs. I know, I know. Don't worry. I've hired a camera crew to follow them around and livestream the mushroom-fueled insanity, right from here. Enjoy.
  3. Frankly, it is ridiculous that they insisted on VAR at your ground, but did not have it Amsterdam. You got hosed, brother.
  4. What Zlatan seems to not comprehend is that there's more to management than setting up a formation and style of play, planning training sessions, recruiting and developing players, and standing moodily on the sideline. I talk to my players. Ask them questions. Sing to them on special occasions. Tell them stories about a salty, old sea captain named Jebediah St. Sebastian and his faithful canine companion, Flint... Success is in the negative space, Zlatan. The space between.
  5. We must have had 99 percent of the game. It was the other 3 percent that cost us the match. Celta Vigo / Belgium -- November 2047 It was inevitable with a side this inexperienced...a slip in form. Zlatan is demanding free reign at training, and blaming our poor form on Drake, who he claims has been worshipping a false prophet in secret. "Zlatan. You keep talking about this 'false prophet.' Unless he's in a cult, just knock it off, ok?" "Is cult, Boss. FatRonaldo is False. Only The Zlatan and urCristiano have 'Ascended Through The Ring of Immortality.' FatRonaldo is just Fat, Boss, 2 Rings below Immortality. Is basically filthy peasant...I mean, he is barely even impervious to bullets! Can you imagine?!" "I don't even know where to start. I don't want to hear any more of it. Just ... keep that nonsense away from the training ground." "Does The Zlatan take training today? No restrictions?" "Yes, Zlatan. You're running the finishing session. But you do not have free reign to do whatever you like -- I still remember what happened last time. Giving you free reign would be like giving a monkey a handgun... Which I would never do." "Never say never, Boss."
  6. You know, just when I thought Zlatan was finally going to start taking our broader duties here at Celta seriously... He's been begging to go back out on scouting trips but I've refused for years citing his useless reports from the last time I trusted him. Perhaps I should have trusted my gut. This time, all I got was a running commentary via WhatsApp about the players' girlfriends, sisters and mothers. When the Board asks me why I want to sign some Hungarian kid for $7M, I can't show them Zlatan's scouting report, now can I? "Twin sisters, DTF. MILFFFFFF." doesn't tell me much about whether young Levente can make the cut for us as an inverted winger on the left. But then again...it is only $7M...and Zlatan's scouting report DID include pictures...the kid looks great on YouTube. There's also the added bonus of Zlatan being out of the house more often, to consider...there's only so many times his ABBA cover band, BAAB, can rehearse before I lose my ****ing mind...
  7. We must have had 99 percent of the game. It was the other three percent that cost us the match. Celta Vigo / Belgium -- October 2047 Much to my chagin, The Zlatan Challenge has gone viral. Why would anyone in their right mind want to drink a bottle of Nyquil, pop 2 Viagra and 4 Tylenol PM, shotgun 3 RedBulls, and then see if you can **** before falling asleep?! More to the point, why would you livestream it for the world to see?! I mean, the whole thing started as a prank we were playing on Drake. He didn't even know we'd spiked his RedBulls...or that we were livestreaming him...and then his humiliation went viral. I mean...the look on his face when he passed out, semi-*****, **** in hand... I guess it was funny... Maybe I just don't understand kids these days. But then again, Brendan Rodgers was really into this challenge. Really into it. I usually only see that look in someone's eye when Zlatan starts talking about the Game of Thrones reboot. You know what I'm talking about. Yeah, that Brendan...he's a "special" one. I don't "get" him, either.
  8. Hey! Honestly, comments like this make my day! Thank you for taking the time to post! One of my biggest disappointments in this save was not getting the Hungarian job early on... Even though it wouldn't have made tons of sense in the narrative, it would have been good fun. I do want to get there... Frankly, The Zlatan has His own reasons for wanting to get to Hungary, mainly to do with His "ongoing Internet research into...ehhh... Hungarian culture, Boss, that is all." If that was all, Zlatan, why would we need to turn off the internet content filters at the office, eh? I'm still buried with work and life, but am now itching to get a session in... Maybe this evening.
  9. The lads have unanimously voted that Zlatan is barred from picking the in-flight movies for our trip to Sweden, and all future flights. Zlatan claims he's found a loophole, because no one said anything about the music in the locker room. He refuses to accept that the NSync reunion album is out-of-bounds, however.
  10. On the flight to Denmark for the 2nd Leg, Zlatan decided to show the lads a movie, to inspire them to victory. "Is for the inspiration, yes? Like when Tom Hanks played Ping-Pong against China in the Olympics, and then coached that American footballing team with Denzel. Remember the Titanic, The Zlatan thinks it was called. Very strange. But, very exciting for the Zlatan in His younger years, before the big game, yes?" Only later did I discover -- far too late -- that he'd shown them the latest Guardiola hagiography from Amazon -- Pep Guardiola, A Life Erotic. I don't think anyone was expecting that much full-frontal nudity. Basically, it was a mixture of "that" scene from Boogie Nights and the volleyball scene from Top Gun, spliced with live-action footage of 'Pep the Bald,' in all of his pomp. And I do mean all of it. That nickname has more than one origin, after all. Too much information, I know, I know... Suffice to say that lads were shaken, but maintained enough focus to finish off the Danes with little worry.
  11. This is what happens when you give Zlatan a free hand in the transfer market...and when Drake "helps" by bringing a bottle of absinthe to their meetings. Mayhem. It only got worse when I explained to them -- for at least the fourth time -- that they did not get a "cut" of the transfer income. Bottom line, we've moved a ton of deadwood and cut the wage bill in half (down to $1.5M/week). A summer well-spent, even if I had to make some promises to Varela, Ramon and Gutierrez about how the coming year will go... We're off to Denmark for our first competitive match of the year. Time to "kick the tires," so to speak.
  12. And before we continue on into the summer...a quick glance around Europe. Musonda's Leeds did the business in England. Daniel Christensen's Nantes defended their title, edging out the Midget Beast's Monaco on goal difference. Nicolas Benezet's FC Hollywood won their first Bundesliga title in 15 years. Ivan Yagan's Sampdoritos kept the good times rolling Italy, winning their 11th straight Serie A title. Karl Robinson's Partizan did Partizan things. Laurent Henkinet's lads have the Brugge like Jagger groove going in Belgium (I'm sorry...I'll show myself out.), winning their 7th title in 8 years. Partizan also claimed the Europa League (their 1st, thus completing the set after their 2030 Champions League triumph), over Giovanni van Bronkhurst's Atletico.
  13. And so, does the destination matter? Or is it the path we take? Celta Vigo / Belgium -- 2046/47 Season Review 3 months are just enough time to start finding our rhythm. To identify the dead wood, the puffed-up Billy Big-Bollocks, and the diamonds in the rough. We've got work to do here in Galicia. I just hope that the Board and supporters have the stomach for the squad cull that is imminent. Because this squad is good enough not to embarrass ourselves in the Europa League next year...but our sights must be set much, much higher. Goals for 2047/48: Qualify for the Champions League and Euro 2048. Challenge Real Madrid in La Liga. Champions League Review A solid year in the CL, as the Midget Beast's Monaco eliminate urCristiano's United in the semifinals, before beating Charly Musonda's Leeds in the final. And that's another eligible team off the list... Challenge Overview
  14. Glad to have you on board, man! As far as Jamie and Gary go, they're the dynamic duo. Ratings are everything...
  15. An eventful first match in charge, after the international break. To get the lads up to speed, Zlatan has been sectioning off the training pitch in color-coded, numbered squares, 3 meters on a side. He also invested in two dozen shock collars, used to train police dogs....I know better than to ask about those. The less I know, the better, for liability purposes.
  16. I represent that one thing you've never been able to kill, no matter how hard you try. I am hope. Celta Vigo / Belgium -- March 2047 At long last, our patience is rewarded. An opportunity of the kind we've been waiting for. A chance to broaden our horizons and manage in a new country...and disrupt the natural order of things, given Real Madrid's near-complete dominance over the last 2 decades. A side playing beneath its potential. A side with world-class youth prospects, in need of new leadership. A side where numerous illustrious managers have failed to bring the glory long promised. Two familiar faces, as well, with Matrim and Boli in the XI. Until now. With 8 matches to play, we'er 9 points off the Champions League spots...but only 1 off of the Europa League. That has to be our target...along with revamping an aging, overpaid squad. The Galician revolution has begun. And it will be televised. And streamed. Live-blogged. Acted out in mime. Etcetera, etcetera...
  17. Great minds think alike, brother... All kidding aside...I've been struggling with whether to continue with this save at all. There are not enough hours in the day, and I've already been largely absent from the forums off and on for a while. After much deliberation, I'm continuing on with the save but will be changing the frequency and format of my updates, particularly the end-of-season ones. The idea being...keep the shenanigans and updates flowing, without getting bogged down in process.
  18. All this downtime between Belgian matches, Zlatan and Drake are getting antsy. They're bored. Which means they're scheming while binge-watching Big Brother, Season 124...which is never good. Idle hands, and all. Thankfully they trust my judgment. But having turned down the likes of Leverkusen, Sampdoria and Arsenal...suffice to say their patience is finite. When I saw them lugging sacks of salt into the backyard, I'd had enough. They've been shipped off to Gibraltar and Moldova on scouting missions, for our first Euro qualifiers in 2 months' time.
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