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ManUtd1

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Everything posted by ManUtd1

  1. These formations are not what i was expecting... Followed!
  2. These types of saves are always a good read -- good luck!
  3. Me trying to get through the day...ready to start a new save, but 20 hasn't been released.
  4. I think a full blown investigation needs to be conducted into the voting...
  5. I have no words. Brilliant stuff, all around.
  6. Always remember, second place is just the first loser. Followed!
  7. Becoming Zlatan, Part V: Alright, who wants a moustache ride?! Malmö FF / Denmark -- November 2053 The ending of the Allsvenskan has filled the Zlatan with anger. We should of been the having the undefeat. The second XI are now paying for having offended the Zlatan and losing in next-to-last match, with many push-up and run. Campaign is building on the Malmo's successes. But the Zlatan must say that whoever said the babies are all cute? Yes? That person must be strapped into the stroller and pushed into oncoming traffic. The Zlatan has given many kisses to the babies that are not the cute, to the point that the Zlatan has belt bad about the mothers and their sadness, and must give them many moustache ride to that they are feeling the better. Is just like when the Zlatan get sad as a child, and the Zlatan's meemaw would sing to him, her favorite song. "Is raining Zlatan, hallelujah! Is raining Zlatan, hallelujah!" You know the song. To avoid the jealous, they change it from the Zlatan to "men." But you know that the Zlatan is all men. Drake needs to find new job. Is not helping campaign. Keeps telling the Zlatan to use the Force, and making strange gestures at the Zlatan. The Zlatan does not like. To distract Drake, the Zlatan gave him special mission. "Help the Zlatan, Drake. You are the Zlatan's only hope." Crazy Irishman is now looking for bag that is roughly the size of a two year-old child, if the child was liquified. Why need it?! No reason. The Zlatan promises. Posting this separately, because the final matchday at the Telia Parken was insane...needing a win to ensure we go through among the 2nd place finishers...going up 2-nil against Spain, only to give up 2 goals before finding a late winner (and one for emphasis). Epic. Zlatan-esque...and not in a "liquifying toddlers" kind of way.
  8. Make Sweden Zlatan Again, Campaign Kickoff October 4, 2053; Malmo Stadion, Sweden [Exterior. Early evening. Confetti cannons launch their payloads every few moments, as OutKast’s Hey Ya booms (on repeat) from speakers throughout the stadium. A temporary surface covers the pitch, which is also filled with supporters wearing replica jerseys covering Zlatan’s career. There’s not an empty seat in the house. All are waiting for the arrival of their hero, from a tunnel in the eastern end of the stadium.] Announcer: LET’S GET READY TO ZLATAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!! [The crowd goes wild as the lights dim. Lazers begin to shoot from the rafters as 3 dozen fog machines in the east end begin to do their work. Suddenly, the lazers end their lazy waltz to Andre 3000s’ beat as the chorus kicks in, to coalesce and draw a 45-foot high vision of Zlatan in his pomp. As Zlatan emerges from the fog, the crowd explodes in pure blessed rapture. Babies are thrust into his arms. Women swoon. Men experience an awkward sensation in their loins, a longing they never knew until this moment. Because this is His moment.] [Taking the stage after a slow walk, Zlatan’s first words are drowned out by the screaming crowd, the microphone of no use. Realizing that he cannot be heard, Zlatan is not deterred. He basks in the moment. Salutes the crowd. Senses their adoration, like a lion surveying all that the light touches, knowing that it is his. Rips off his shirt, beginning an impromptu karate demonstration as Hey Ya fades into Enrique Iglesias’ Hero.] [Feeding off of Zlatan’s energy, the crowd grows even louder. Not having said a single word, somehow Zlatan has whipped them into an even greater frenzy.] [35 minutes later, Zlatan leaves the stage, a sheen of sweat glistening across his torso, a single bead of sweat dripping from his nose. But the party is only starting, as no one present wishes to leave. For they know that tonight, they have witnessed history.] [Zlatan exits through the fog, greeted by his trusted advisor and friend, John “Le Rouge” Drake, as the first notes of Train’s Drops of Jupiter echo through the stadium.] DRAKE: Jesus rocket-jumping Christ, there are so many people out there, Zlatan...it's like a Mormon orgy. ZLATAN: And that was before the Zlatan’s pants came off. DRAKE: Seriously! It was like a sexual 9/11. ZLATAN: Ehh… The Zlatan has seen better. Was more like sexual Cuban Missile Crisis. At best. DRAKE: Don’t you mean…at worst? ZLATAN: Six of one, half-dozen of the other. DRAKE: That’s what she said. [The two friends share a soft chuckle as dozens of advisors wait patiently.] ZLATAN: The Zlatan has a strange desire for a soy latte. He blames the Train for this feeling...those sick, beautiful bastards.
  9. Becoming Zlatan, Part IV: What exactly am I trying to say?! You's are a bunch of ****in' elephants!! Malmö FF / Denmark -- September 2053 Usually the Zlatan likes a game of Strip MarioKart on Fridays. But it is Thursday, so the Zlatan is sad. Drake suggested that we just pretend it is Friday, but that never works. Is not the same. And the Zlatan has been watching the news while in Bruges. The news make the Zlatan have sad. The Swedish Prime Minister is on the TV...which makes the Zlatan remember that he he smells of instant noodle flavor packets and pickles. And now the Zlatan is both hungry and sad. Not very Zlatan. In fact, all of the Sweden is not very Zlatan these days. Perhaps is time... Time to Make Sweden Zlatan Again.
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