Things we should be able to tell our players - a list of suggestions

[themadsheep2001]

Known issue. Still doesn't stop me screaming at the screen "Pass it you........!" well, you figure it out from there.

Even though I know this is an issue, it didn't stop me kicking my chair over in a CL final

[aderow]

I've taken over a club at the end of August and within weeks 3 players have decided they will leave on a Bosman at the end of the season. I try to talk to them but I can't because they feel the relationship has broken down. But I've never even spoke to them in the past - any grievance they have is with the previous manager. Why can't I talk to them and try to convince them to reconsider, since I've now got the team to the top of the league and look very likely to clinch promotion?

I just bought FM14 and started a save with United. Simmed the first season. United finished 5th and Moyes was sacked. Rooney, Rafael, and Mata have all come to essentially blaming me for the club failing to qualify for the champions league and that they want to leave. Life wtf? I've been here a month.

[Lawlore]

"No, we DIDN'T agree that the player I'm loaning from you would be a first teamer. You agreed the negotiation with no status set. Don't come whining to me that he's not playing. YOU agreed that."

Yes, it's a bug, but still.

[arsenalthebest]

I know I fine you for getting sent off, but so long as you only do it once every so often before games I'd probably have rested you for anyway, I actually feel quite proud of you for it.

(To the tune of total eclipse of the heart, and shamelessly nicked off the Yann Kermorgant YouTube vid) once upon a time I had faith in the guy, but now it's time for you to depart, what else can I say you were totally sh*t from the start.

There should also be the option to physically assault the player in some light form or verbally insult him. For example when a young player agrees with you that he will never be good enough and that he should go. Utterly shocking behaviour. Show some fight man, I don't mind if you're deluded, but just giving up?? Unacceptable.

ha love the song fits very well with the music

[Kojak123]

"Boss ive waited long enough and want first team football" (or generic 1st team footie request)

my reply should be able to be "one minute... who are you?"

I'd love that one in press conferences!

Q: "José Mourinho hasn't held back when talking about you. What your view on him?"

A: "José Who?"

[nyandoro]

This one definitely needs to be in the game, it would bring international management to a whole new level:

"X, we both know you are not going to get a call-up from France anytime soon. I, as manager of Senegal, would love to have you here and offer you a spot in the Senegalese national team right away."

"I am sorry, I am not interested in playing for Senegal."/"I don't want to commit myself to Senegal yet. I know it will be tough but I am prepared to wait for a call up from France. I might change my mind later."/"I see what you mean. What role can I expect to play in the Senegal national team?" (Here you could answer with Key player/First team/Backup)/"It would be an honor for me to represent Senegal."

L.E.: If the player responds unconvincingly you could play the "It's now or never, X! I will not call you up again if you refuse now."

[VonBlade]

"If you want to be removed from the transfer list (which was your choice to go on in the first place) please don't come back in 2 days asking why you aren't getting first team football and demanding to leave again."

A thousand times this.

[VonBlade]

"Yes, I'd like to give you a new contract too but as you're asking for £100k p/w more than I can give you, it's unlikely to happen"

"No, you're a 18 year old coming in to a team that's won the league 20 years in a row, you're not going to get your desired valuable first team player status"

"If you want to go on loan to get more first team football, how about you accept some of the offers you're getting?"

finally;

"It's not my fault nobody is bidding for you, it's a bug in the game. Try again in FM15"

[Kaarto]

"Lower your wage demands, you’re 34 and I’m only re-signing you for sentimental value"

What does our relationship has broken down, I don’t think talking to you can change that even mean? I go up to this ***** at training and he just walks away? Where is my option to yell at him ‘You wanted first team football, and I’m going to give you first team football as soon as your morale goes above abysmal? Does he not hear that because our relationship has broken down? Talking to me will fix our relationship BECAUSE IM GOING TO GIVE YOU FIRST TEAM FOOTBALL WHEN YOU STOP MOUTHING OFF IN THE PRESS!

When we go in at half time and I say ‘Don’t get complacent’, everyone gets confused and demotivated even though we are 3-0 up against one of the bottom sides. I want an individual team talk option of "If you look even slightly complacent in the second half I will terminate your contract tomorrow"

"I’d sell you, but you aren’t even good enough for the non-leagues. Enjoy your time in the U/18’s"

"Stop complaining to the press about your lack of first team football; I’ve been trying to sell you for months"

If I fine my player two week wages for getting sent off and he feel it is harsh: "If you aren’t going to be playing for two weeks why should I pay you for two weeks?"

When we are up 3-0 at half time and we lose 5-3 to the bottom side I want the option to give my players some light abuse to let them know that I am not happy.

I want my fans to know that letting Player A go was not an aberration because the club wouldn’t exist next season if we gave in to his wage demands.

I want my fans to know that letting Player B go was not an aberration because he retired.

Finally, I want to be able to save responses in press conferences. That way they could happen automatically but my assistant won’t say something stupid.

[CityAndColour]

'I'll get going now, I'm sure you'll want me for someone else soon"

"Oi, get back here. Don't talk to me like that you arrogant twerp"

[Kojak123]

"How can you *** get a straight red card in the last minute of a match when we are 4:0 up? Are you really that dumb?"

And things along this line for yellow cards in champs league games. Generally I would like to be able to discuss their disciplinary record or diving.

[Norfair]

'I'll get going now, I'm sure you'll want me for someone else soon"

"Oi, get back here. Don't talk to me like that you arrogant twerp"

This Even when we've had a good talk, they'll say that. It just doesn't sound right!

[BoxToBox]

After any negative comment to them in private chats,

"I don't care about that, I just want to leave."

"Maybe if you did effing care we wouldn't have this issue, you massive bawbag!"

Or,

"Last time I gave you a chance, you were awful(etc....)"

"We keep having these problems(etc....)"

"Yeah, because you keep sucking at football."

[Mojby]

'You asked to be placed on the transfer list and that is what I have done - I will not remove you from it'

'Your agents contract demands are excessive and I cannot offer you that contract'

'I have transfer listed you and no one has come in with a bid - you will need to be patient'

[bradfish16]

It annoys me that atm most of the interaction has you bending over backwards while the players are ungrateful morons.

So I'd like to be able to reply stoically to 'lack of first team football':

- I tried, no one wanted you and neither do I, get out.

- Apart from asking me to triple your wages when you're a fringe player, what does your agent actually do?

When I need to reduce budget and offer termination:

- Me: You're just not going to get any football here.

Player: I don't agree and want to keep whining for three more interactions!

Me: I'm tired of hearing about this tbh.

P: I'm not happy about this, I don't think I can work with you anymore.

M: Er no, I don't want to work with YOU so make like a tree and leave!

P: (cries)

M: Oh ffs, let me out of this damn meeting so I can release you on a free.

- "Why have you fined me?"

- "Seeing as you can't count to two yellow cards over and over again I suppose I shouldn't be surprised by stupid questions."

[Burwood]

'Stop being a greedy git and play the ball across the box to a striker crying out for a tap-in rather than shoot from a ridiculous angle'.

completely agree with that one, it infuriates me almost every match

I wish I could ask players what their definition of a 'big club' is. If I just got promoted to the premier, I don't understand why one of my players would be desperate for a move to a team that just got relegated to the championship.

to my keeper:

"you need to stop running to the back post every time a cross comes in"

to my defenders:

"try jumping and trying to intercept a long ball over the top"

to pretty much all my players:

"stop running into the back of your teammates, leaving the ball behind, and continuing to run forward without the ball"

to my free kick taker:

"NEVER pass the ball backwards 10 yards to my centreback from a free kick"

Also, I wish you could choose a couple of players to take free kicks, and have one for shooting at goal, and one for crossing the ball in to a team mate.

Sometimes a player wants a wage I'm not willing to give, so I have to sell them, and the contract they accept from another team is much less than they demanded (and is a wage I would have been happy to agree to)- I wish you could say to that player 'I'm willing to give you the same deal as they offered if you'll stay"

[easternhawk2]

You want us to challenge at a higher level. Okay, we will win the Champions League this year(this is in February btw).

One week later...

You request a transfer because I haven't fulfilled your promise. Of course I haven't fulfilled, we only beat bottom of the league 7-0 the other day and I can't win the Champions League until May.

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Our tallest striker is 5'9. Our tallest attack minded midfielder is 5'10. Stop bloody crossing the ball up high for them to compete against 6'5 brick walls.

[Burwood]

another one I thought of:

"If you have a one-on-one, please don't shoot from outside the box"

[aderow]

another one I thought of:

"If you have a one-on-one, please don't shoot from outside the box"

Players have done this for years. And will continue to do so for years to come mate.

[JFYorkCity]

"Instead of having hopeless, looping shots that float serenely over the bar at 5mph every 5 seconds, get yourself OVER the ball and drive it low like any half decent player can."

"Stop dawdling on the ball too much you are losing possession too easily in dangerous areas."

"Play like you do in real life."

"Save a penalty for once in your miserable life."

"When I tell you to work the ball into the box, I mean work the ball into the box. I don't mean go 1-on-1 and then shoot from 20 yards out".

[RBKalle]

"You're a backup BECAUSE you're the worst of the lot in your role, so there is indeed a reason if you're not getting enough first team football".

Then

"You weren't getting enough first team football last month and it's not going to change anytime soon. Stop pestering me!"

[aderow]

"Instead of having hopeless, looping shots that float serenely over the bar at 5mph every 5 seconds, get yourself OVER the ball and drive it low like any half decent player can."

"Stop dawdling on the ball too much you are losing possession too easily in dangerous areas."

"Play like you do in real life."

"Save a penalty for once in your miserable life."

"When I tell you to work the ball into the box, I mean work the ball into the box. I don't mean go 1-on-1 and then shoot from 20 yards out".

Haha that's brilliant