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[FM 17] If You’re Not First, You’re Last Redux – Redemption For The “Nearly Men” Of Europe


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1 hour ago, LUFCspeni said:

You should also read The First Law series, my favourite series of all time. Books of Babel series is also very good. I enjoy these references as much as the games :D

The First Law is a good one, definitely. I'll check out the Books of Babel series.

1 hour ago, Akkarin said:

I like me some champagne....

 

Hopefully there are good times ahead...I'm enjoying the new stadium as well, and plan on expanding it sooner rather than later. Shame the name is so boring.

[Edit: Sorry, I just realized I hadn't posted a screenshot of the stadium SdR built, completed in 2036. 32k (ish) capacity. I'm away from my laptop for the day, but will try to screenshot it later.]

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I realized something today, that is almost embarrassing to admit...in-game, I really like the Europa League.

Not in a "oh this is fun for now" kind of way. I love the random sides, the strange destinations, the utterly mad knockout round schedule...

If this save ever dies, I've already figured out what I'm doing next (no, not the obvious "little brother" version of this challenge which would be fun in and of itself, albeit taxing on my laptop). I've even got the thread title picked out.  :D

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1 hour ago, Akkarin said:

Can't wait to see it, stadium and the next thread both. Europe league can be fun, but too often one does not spend enough time playing that particular competition

Definitely the new stadium. The next thread might not be until FM18!

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15 hours ago, ManUtd1 said:

I realized something today, that is almost embarrassing to admit...in-game, I really like the Europa League.

Not in a "oh this is fun for now" kind of way. I love the random sides, the strange destinations, the utterly mad knockout round schedule...

I started a Wolfsburg save a few weeks ago and I'm a game away from finishing my 2nd season having been guaranteed Europa League football (no matter what happens, I won't move up or down from fifth). I know how you feel because I'm really looking forward to it. 

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6 hours ago, Fer Fuchs Ake said:

I started a Wolfsburg save a few weeks ago and I'm a game away from finishing my 2nd season having been guaranteed Europa League football (no matter what happens, I won't move up or down from fifth). I know how you feel because I'm really looking forward to it. 

Excellent!  Glad I'm not alone in my madness :brock:

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2 hours ago, ManUtd1 said:

Excellent!  Glad I'm not alone in my madness :brock:

I always failed miserably in Europe in FM 16 so I'm hoping to redeem myself in the coming weeks in FM 17. Best of luck for your European campaign! We'll both be fine long as we don't have to play on FC Rostov's pitch...

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1 hour ago, Akkarin said:

Are there no legends at the club?

No legends, confirmed.  

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21 minutes ago, Fer Fuchs Ake said:

I always failed miserably in Europe in FM 16 so I'm hoping to redeem myself in the coming weeks in FM 17. Best of luck for your European campaign! We'll both be fine long as we don't have to play on FC Rostov's pitch...

10 year-old trains on a better pitch!  That was absolutely dire.

But, in-game I can't wait to make that trip!  :lol:

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FADE IN

VOICEOVER (deep bass voice over rousing music): Tonight on ESPN 8, "The Ocho!"  Local fans have dubbed it the "Telleus Derby," as Hakan Telleus' new side, Stade de Reims, travel to Saint-Etienne to face the side he took to Champions League glory less than 2 years ago!

The stirring music continues as highlights from Telleus' reign at Saint-Etienne play in the background.

VOICEOVER: Champions of Europe, the spoilers no more.  Can Les Vert hold off Telleus' new charges, the champagne-era lads of Stade de Reims, a side steeped in history hoping to pay homage to the ghosts of the past, screaming steadfast into the night, YOU SHALL NOT PASS!

The music reaches a fever pitch, as shots from Telleus' first matches at Stade de Reims play, filled with crunching tackles, glorious pass combinations and a hunger for goal.

The shot cuts to a well-coiffed JOEY BARTON, sitting at a desk next to ROY KEANE who doesn't look a day over 40, aside from the massive grey beard that threatens to knock over the coffee cup placed rakishly in front of him.  The stirring music slowly begins to fade out.  Barton looks his sartorial best, with a bowler hat and ascot, with a matching pocket square.  BARTON grins maniaclly.  KEANE appears ready to leap across the desk and rip out BARTON's throat with his bare teeth.

BARTON (enthusiastically): We're coming to you live from France, I'm Joey Barton alongside my partner Roy Keane, here to bring you all the action at l'enfer Vert!  Roy, what are your thoughts as we approach this momentous moment?

KEANE (glaring at BARTON): **** off, you sad little ****.  Stop ****ing about, and talk sense, you greasy ****.

BARTON (hesitantly, trying to continue on):  Yes, yes!  Passions are running high inside the stadium and beyond, although many were surprised to see the shared joy among supporters of these two sides, who have banded together, in their words, "against modern football" and the scourge of big-money, sugar-daddy football, in favor of the unbridled passion that is the hallmark of Telleus' sides over the years.  A truly impressive, one might even say moral stand being taken here in -- 

KEANE (interrupting): You phony, posh little runt, I'll not sit here and listen to you prattle on about this match as if you know a football from your missus' fanny.

BARTON (in a mocking, arrogant voice): Oooh, look at the hard man, acting all...hard...for the cameras.  Why don't you give us your thoughts on the match, eh, you ****ing --- AHAHHHHAHAHHHHH!!!!

KEANE lunges across the desk, pulling a shiv from the sleeve of his tracksuit.  BARTON attempts to dive away, but inadvertently steps on his own long tresses (modeled after Telleus' dazzling mane) , tumbling him to the ground.  He manages to avoid the killing blow, as the improvised knife (seemingly carved from a cantaloupe rind discarded from the craft services table) clatters to the ground.  KEANE lands atop BARTON, pinning him to the ground and landing several rapid kidney blows, as BARTON begins to scream in agony.  Chaos erupts on the set as the feed is dramatically cut.

----

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FADE IN

Stirring music accompanies a swooping camera shot, centered on JOEY BARTON and ROY KEANE sitting at a desk.  BARTON tries to smile, wincing in pain.  His eyes are glazed over, like a man suffering from a severe concussion and in dire need of medical attention.  His clothes rumpled, BARTON glances nervously at KEANE.  A drop of blood hangs precariously on the edge of BARTON'S nose.  KEANE smile amiably at the camera, chuckling warmly at some joke only he hears.

KEANE (grinning maniacally): Well, well.  A much warmer welcome on Telleus' return, than one might have expected, eh, Joey?  Can I call you that?

BARTON mumbles incoherently, refusing to make eye contact with KEANE.

KEANE (laughing): What's that?  You'll have to speak up, son.  

BARTON mumbles incoherently again and glances off-camera, his eyes pleading for help.  KEANE reaches slowly into his pocket, his eyes locked on BARTON.  BARTON flinches visibly.

KEANE (pulling a pack of Juicyfruit from his pocket): Piece of gum, Joey?

BARTON's lower lip begins to quiver.  Still he refuses to make eye contact with KEANE.

KEANE (shrugging amiably): Alright, then.  More for me, I guess.  But let's talk about the match, yeah?  Reims went into the match with a clear gameplan, that anyone at Saint-Etienne could have seen coming -- the strikerless magic birthed in Yorkshire, at that ****hole of a stadium, Elland Road --

BARTON (timidly): I don't think you can say **** on television, Roy, much less use it as a compound noun in that way --

KEANE (assertively, with his eyes ablaze): That's Mr. Keane to you, son.  And I'll say ****hole if I want to.  Who's going to stop me?!  The grammar police?!  If you say another word about it, I'll rip off your arms and shove them up YOUR ****hole.

BARTON (timidly, refusing to make eye contact): Well, the producer--

KEANE (shouting, reaching into his sleeve): DID I STUTTER?!

BARTON (softly, eyes downcast): Sorry, Mr. Keane. No, Mr, Keane, you were perfectly clear.

KEANE'S eyes rage a murderous red.  In an instant, however, the moment passes and KEANE chuckles warmly, turning to face the camera once again.

KEANE (laughing, spreading his hands and shaking his head slowly from side to side): Well, you know, it is just that simple, isn't it?  Telleus' men were outmatched on the night, which is no surprise considering that most of the players on the pitch were "his" men, eh?  Saint-Etienne, the cheese-eating surrender-monkeys that they may be --

BARTON looks about with alarm, and coughs softly as one of his kidneys begins to fail.

KEANE (eyes flashing red, glaring at BARTON): DO YOU HAVE SOMETHING YOU WISH TO SAY, SON?!

BARTON (meekly): No, sir.  Nothing to say, sir...Mr. Keane, sir.

KEANE turns back to the camera, again changing back into the warm, cuddly, bearded analyst we've all come to know and love.

KEANE (calmly): As I was saying, Saint-Etienne knew the task in front of them.  They knew that Reims would be tough to beat, and could not be given an inch in transition.  They executed their gameplan to perfection, even if Reims threatened throughout.  Truth be told, it was a far more even match than most expected.  Isn't that right, Joey?

BARTON mumbles incoherently.

KEANE (chuckling warmly, turning from BARTON to face the camera): Yes, yes.  That's the ticket.  Well, that's all for us from here.  We'll see you next week, and every week, here on The Ocho.  And don't forget to tune in Tuesday night, to catch 'ickle Joey's big interview with Manchester style icon, Juan Mata, where they'll discuss football, Manchester and just how he keeps that beard so perfectly-groomed.

BARTON smiles weakly at the camera.  He appears to be missing a tooth.

KEANE (still chuckling warmly, turning back to BARTON): Say, Joey, why don't you bring the missus 'round mine, and you can watch it there.  You know how she loves a game of the ol' slap-and-tickle with Uncle Roy.

The blood drains from BARTON's face as the camera pulls away, with The Ocho's theme music stirring in the background.

FADE OUT

---

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13 minutes ago, Rikulec said:

:applause:

You'll build a side able to challenge Saint Etienne in no time.

That's definitely the beauty of: (1) the strength of SdR's side before I arrived; and (2) the tactics excelling when the other side attacks.  Nothing better than being underestimated!

 

7 minutes ago, mjaferrie said:

Hahaha!  I love how many potential lawsuits you are dancing with in this thread ;) 

:lol: :eek:

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21 minutes ago, nie jem frytek said:

Where's the story about #SuperTroupers going to attend this game, but losing their way and ending up in Morocco Spain after their driver thought they're going "to Melilla"?

:lol:

Perfect idea for a cross-over episode with an IFK Malmo derivation from the primary narrative...Ludwig can manage them, after a serious of comical mishaps leaves him no choice but to take them to European glory or face the ultimate consequence.  Don't cross the Swedish mafia, man.

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2 minutes ago, ManUtd1 said:

:lol:

Perfect idea for a cross-over episode with an IFK Malmo derivation from the primary narrative...Ludwig can manage them, after a serious of comical mishaps leaves him no choice but to take them to European glory or face the ultimate consequence.  Don't cross the Swedish mafia, man.

He never told you how he got the money for all those castles did he?

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1 hour ago, Keano16 said:

He never told you how he got the money for all those castles did he?

That, and Emma... A wise man knows there are some questions that should never be asked. 

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I'm confused. We were just now in Prague, now we are in France? But we're still in the Czech Rep? Saint-Etienne were the ones playing normal and beating a strikerless-libero-invertedwingback team? What is going on? What is the meaning of life?

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Leeds? What Leeds? I thought the Czech Libero had told you to go to Reims in order to play them out of the Europa. Saint-Etienne played with strikerless wingbacks who were probably fans of Leeds, so that's why they lost. The invertedwingbacks weren't Czech, so they didnt work. Is the French Libero here already? Hello? Please?

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9 hours ago, noikeee said:

I'm confused. We were just now in Prague, now we are in France? But we're still in the Czech Rep? Saint-Etienne were the ones playing normal and beating a strikerless-libero-invertedwingback team? What is going on? What is the meaning of life?

7 hours ago, Adonalsium said:

Leeds? What Leeds? I thought the Czech Libero had told you to go to Reims in order to play them out of the Europa. Saint-Etienne played with strikerless wingbacks who were probably fans of Leeds, so that's why they lost. The invertedwingbacks weren't Czech, so they didnt work. Is the French Libero here already? Hello? Please?

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13 hours ago, Adonalsium said:

Emma? As in Emma Watson?

I dunno, I just always assumed that was the case.

TZ10 was romantically linked to Ms. Watson very early on...and then things got out of hand...

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Is Ms. Watson Czech? Why isn't she? Is she strikerless or does she simply lack the invertedwingbacks? Is that why they went with her instead of me? She did have the invertedwingbacks, and I didn't? But now I have them, and she doesn't! She's got the libero! And everyone knows German women can't do liberos. It's gotta be French or Czech, otherwise they bomb. Or from Leeds, or at least a distant relation or a fan. But if it's not French, then you gotta have wingbacks! YOU INVERT THEM. TURN THEM INSIDE OUT, LOOK AT THEIR INSIDES. Strikers can't get you then! If only I'd played strikerless wingbacks before, then the striking libero wouldn't have caught up to me!

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17 minutes ago, Adonalsium said:

Is Ms. Watson Czech? Why isn't she? Is she strikerless or does she simply lack the invertedwingbacks? Is that why they went with her instead of me? She did have the invertedwingbacks, and I didn't? But now I have them, and she doesn't! She's got the libero! And everyone knows German women can't do liberos. It's gotta be French or Czech, otherwise they bomb. Or from Leeds, or at least a distant relation or a fan. But if it's not French, then you gotta have wingbacks! YOU INVERT THEM. TURN THEM INSIDE OUT, LOOK AT THEIR INSIDES. Strikers can't get you then! If only I'd played strikerless wingbacks before, then the striking libero wouldn't have caught up to me!

3o6wrHa70C3Wrj5QeA.gif

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51 minutes ago, Adonalsium said:

Is Ms. Watson Czech? Why isn't she? Is she strikerless or does she simply lack the invertedwingbacks? Is that why they went with her instead of me? She did have the invertedwingbacks, and I didn't? But now I have them, and she doesn't! She's got the libero! And everyone knows German women can't do liberos. It's gotta be French or Czech, otherwise they bomb. Or from Leeds, or at least a distant relation or a fan. But if it's not French, then you gotta have wingbacks! YOU INVERT THEM. TURN THEM INSIDE OUT, LOOK AT THEIR INSIDES. Strikers can't get you then! If only I'd played strikerless wingbacks before, then the striking libero wouldn't have caught up to me!

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Quick glance at Europe as we hit the stretch run for the 2038-39 season...

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City, Fiorentina, PSG, Barcelona and Partizan are looking good value for their leads...Bayern is once again flirting with relevance.  We're angling for a European spot, but need to make up some ground in Ligue 1 as we're out of all cup competitions at this point.  The Czech revolution is well under way at Stade de Reims, though, with more signings lined up for the summer.

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He's making a list, he's Czeching it twice...

116e13c96035abfdcd78d895dba1f3bb.jpg 

38 deals for Czech U18s are in negotiations.  I've had a long week with no time to really play, so I spent the train home scouting every Czech youth prospect I could find.  This could be interesting...even if they don't all pan out, I will have seeded more than a dozen clubs with some serious cash.

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33 future transfers lined up, all solid Czech prospects...well, some far more so than others.  

561c4390d78e81b37bdeec4456fc6db6.jpg 

They can't move until turning 16, hence some of the 2040 transfer dates.  This, however, is the biggest reason for moving abroad from Sparta -- there's no way I'd have been able to pull in this kind of talent as a domestic club.

Ludwig, the cheeky bugger, keeps Rickrolling me, sending me messages with links to a YouTube video of Travis' U16 Girls...  Apples doesn't appreciate the joke, man.

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Yeah, I see you Czeching me out...

352f5a2808f5795c74054337cce67ca6.png        Czech_Republic_FA.thumb.png.73464eb90797f8de13685c37875fdff2.png

Stade de Reims / Czech Republic

March 2039 Mini-Update

This just isn't acceptable.  Losing 1-0 at home in the first match of our Euro 2040  qualifying campaign...to 10-man Russia.  Brutal.  At least we got to take out our frustrations on the Faroes a few days later, and share a few pints of the local bitter with local legend and former Munster manager, John Drake.

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8 hours ago, majesticeternity said:

This is a great story! Thanks for continuing it!

Hope things get better as time goes on for Czech.

Thanks for reading and commenting! It keeps threads alive!

They'll slowly get better...I hope!

5 hours ago, andychar said:

I'm going to call it now. 

Champions League winners in 2 seasons. I would say next season but even the might might Telleus couldn't sweet talk his way into this season's Champions League.

2?! Man...the pressure is on. I think it'll be longer, as the youth I'm bringing in aren't going to have as immediate an impact...aiming for Czechs, not anyone else!

4 hours ago, Adonalsium said:

Woah, can we see their scout reports? Or at least the biggest prospects.

Absolutely. I'll post the top prospects tonight or when I do my season review over the next few days (away from my laptop for the next 12+ hours).

(There are some good prospects, but I think the bulk of the players I've signed will turn out time be squad parted at best. I just want to take a heavy hand in their development.)

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27 minutes ago, nie jem frytek said:

That amount of Czech players moving to Reims at once needs backstory.

 

16 minutes ago, Adonalsium said:

Despite TZ10's best efforts, british tabloids began circulating suspect stories about Håkan and young footballers.

Interpol was trailing Ludwig, nearly 20 years ago...

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Hrrrmmm.  I'll just type in...young and legal Czechs. There's like 25 million hits on this thing! Wait, you need a credit card just to get their info?!

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(The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret, newly-hired Chief Scout at Stade de Reims.)

 

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