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[FM 17] If You’re Not First, You’re Last Redux – Redemption For The “Nearly Men” Of Europe


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8 hours ago, yugo23 said:

It's interesting that not only Belgium clubs, but also their national team are doing very well. Where are their national team players mostly based?

An interesting mix:

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A big congratulations to the local juniors team we sponsored this year on their 4th place finish.  What a ****ing joke.

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FK Partizan Beograd / Colombia

September 2064 Mini-Update

This is how we do it, lads.  Top of the league, sharp as ****.  Dangerous at every turn.

We managed to keep the hounds at bay this year, with recently-renewed contracts keeping the squad happy during the summer.  Gustav tried to lure a number of starters to Bayern.  Seriously... No means no, you little ****.  Did I stutter?

The best news of the summer?  Serbia has risen to 7th in the coefficients, meaning that we claim a 1st seed for the Champions League Group Stage.  Huge.  And, we avoided some of the potentially tricky draws -- Madrid as a 3rd seed, and Manchester City in pot 4, both of whom ended up in Group D.  Brutal.  Ours isn't the easiest draw, but we should progress.

A solid showing against 4th place Peru, coupled with an unexpected Uruguay win over Argentina, meant that we were only two points off La Albiceleste at the top.  And they were up next, in Baranquilla.

Unfortunately, we were rather comprehensively thumped, the 1-0 scoreline quite generous.

The flight from Baranquilla saw the entire squad together, off duty, so to speak.  Able to simply relax.  Just before takeoff, I sent a discreet message to a contact in Portugal.  Stalin doesn't know what he's in for when he gets home...payback is a mother****er, son.

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A big congratulations to the local juniors team we sponsored this year on their 4th place finish.  What a ****ing joke.

414df1a331b5837ea9836b0fc875b679.png

FK Partizan Beograd / Colombia

October 2064 Mini-Update

Stalin.  We have to have a word, son.  Walking into my hotel room in Baranquilla to find a menagerie of garden gnomes staring at me with their beady little eyes?  That's the stuff of nightmares, let me tell you.

I have no idea what to do with 273 gnomes.  Yes, I counted them.  Why?  That's a question I'm not prepared to answer.

Outside of my newly-formed fear of garden gnomes, everything is on track.  We're in solid form domestically.  The draw against Chile was massively frustrating, but we're on track to qualify with little difficulty.

Onwards and upwards.

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A big congratulations to the local juniors team we sponsored this year on their 4th place finish.  What a ****ing joke.

414df1a331b5837ea9836b0fc875b679.png

FK Partizan Beograd / Colombia

November 2064 Mini-Update

A month of lows and highs.  We crash to our first league defeat in over a year, away to **** Star.  Absolutely miserable.  We then followed it with a blown match against Brugge.  You could almost feel the wheels coming off this train.

But then we found our feet.  A solid win over Brugge at Ilic Park means that we're top of the Group with 9 points.  We're also top of the league, notwithstanding this little blip.  

Then, we're off to Ecuador where we decide to blow a lead...and waste numerous chances.  Brutal.  With Brazil up next, albeit in Baranquilla.  A loss would mean trouble brewing with Sebastian and the powers that be at the FCF, as our qualification campaign would be stalling.  Brazil, a team out for revenge after we beat them at the Castelão last November.  We controlled every moment of the match.  A massive 1-nil win.  Qualification is not assured, but we're getting much closer.  We'd have to truly fall on our faces to blow it now.

Away from the pitch, my prank war with Stalin has escalated.  After he learned that I'd conquered my fears of the garden gnomes, and embraced them to an unholy degree, he sent some ... oddly-dressed ... men to ... defile ... them at my home outside Belgrade.

Picture me, walking out back to enjoy a sunset dip in the hot tub, while dictating notes to Dimitri for the upcoming team meeting, only to find a ... err ... gentleman ... dry-humping the ever-loving **** out of a gnome that bears a strong resemblance to Roy Keane.

I mean, really going at it.  His comrades were clearly there to do a dirty deed, but this guy?  This guy was committed.  Determined.  Not inclined to flee like his brethren.

After the initial shock passed, I expressed to Dmitri (who was equally struck with horror), a poorly-phrased pun concerning the gentleman's enthusiasm for the cause -- the cause being the dry-humping of said gnome, of course.

"I don't think there's anything dry about that right there, Boss."

Poor Dimitri.  I think he's scarred for life.

I need to get rid of these ****ing gnomes.  I certainly can't ever look that one in his beady little eyes again.

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4 hours ago, HawkAussie said:

Ahh, I just noticed that it is in the MM/DD/YY format which I say is annoying for me.

It took you until 2064 to notice though. :D

Good progress with Partizan, I'm secretly hoping you stay long enough to overtake Spain in competition rep before winning the champions league though.

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23 minutes ago, Makoto Nakamura said:

It took you until 2064 to notice though. :D

Good progress with Partizan, I'm secretly hoping you stay long enough to overtake Spain in competition rep before winning the champions league though.

Yeah, so I usually have my format as DD/MM/YY not that way that he has done it.

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Having been away from the forums and the game for a while, I was happy to see that this was one of the threads still going. 

I can safely say that I still feel that way after having read the 40 pages that were new to me over the last week or so, amazing progress in-game and your added touch of.... how shall I put it... brilliance (or insanity) ... have made it even more enjoyable to read.

I also always like to see the evolution of the game-world during the years, very interesting to see Spain dropping away and the bizarre French developments. Maybe it will be time for you to manage in Spain after leading Partizan to a Champions League victory which I'm sure won't be that much longer seeing how well you have fared generally. 

 

 

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12 hours ago, HawkAussie said:

Ahh, I just noticed that it is in the MM/DD/YY format which I say is annoying for me.

Certainly the last thing I thought anyone would ever comment on... That's simply the way dates are expressed here in the States, for better or worse.

8 hours ago, Makoto Nakamura said:

It took you until 2064 to notice though. :D

Good progress with Partizan, I'm secretly hoping you stay long enough to overtake Spain in competition rep before winning the champions league though.

With Madrid's resurgence this year in the CL, that could be tough. It'd make Spain a great next destination...

2 hours ago, MarcxD said:

Having been away from the forums and the game for a while, I was happy to see that this was one of the threads still going. 

I can safely say that I still feel that way after having read the 40 pages that were new to me over the last week or so, amazing progress in-game and your added touch of.... how shall I put it... brilliance (or insanity) ... have made it even more enjoyable to read.

I also always like to see the evolution of the game-world during the years, very interesting to see Spain dropping away and the bizarre French developments. Maybe it will be time for you to manage in Spain after leading Partizan to a Champions League victory which I'm sure won't be that much longer seeing how well you have fared generally. 

Thanks, man! Glad that you're enjoying it!  

Spain would be outstanding next, and I will keep my fingers crossed. That would be my preferred destination, even if Germany is tempting. The in-world changes have certainly ranged from bonkers (France and Spain, with some English struggles) to relatively benign (Italy not really changing much at all).  I love it.

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On 8/15/2017 at 01:30, yugo23 said:

Were there any notable achievements in Europe from other Serbian clubs?

Nothing too crazy. 

That being said...the European competition and coefficients have gone completely nuts.

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Oostende has also just qualified for the CL knockout rounds.

That isn't a typo.  Oostende.  A side sitting 7th in the Jupiler Pro League, 23 points off Anderlecht.

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Utter madness.

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A big congratulations to the local juniors team we sponsored this year on their 4th place finish.  What a ****ing joke.

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FK Partizan Beograd / Colombia

December 2064 Mini-Update

The side has come together.  We're ready.  With a bit of luck, we can compete with anyone over a two-legged tie.

Domestically we're on course for yet another treble.  Juventus is a shadow of their former selves.  All we need to do is put together a run.

And then hope that the side isn't picked apart by our continental competition...while offering out new contracts like that creepy guy on the corner of 5th who hands out candy to the neighborhood while wearing sandals and a smile.

Yeah, I'll come up with a better way to express that.

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Do I need to sign him?  No.  Is the nostalgia strong?  Yes.  One of Scotland's fearsome front line under Telleus.

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Not quite a star/legend, though.

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Olá, Renato!  This makes me smile.

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45 minutes ago, kidthekid said:

Renato is 67 but parading his drivers license picture he took almost 50 years ago.

Maybe he's just aged well, like urCristiano?

23 minutes ago, Sheriff7 said:

Still here??!!:eek:88 pages you've got to be keeding me!!:kriss:Tell the truth you want to reach 100 and then you will stop.. :D

I have no end goal in mind...work has been killing me lately, which has slowed progress.  Partizan is on the verge, though -- a little luck, a kind draw, and they could be complete.  Juventus is up next...

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A big congratulations to the local juniors team we sponsored this year on their 4th place finish.  What a ****ing joke.

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FK Partizan Beograd / Colombia

March 2065 Mini-Update

Juventus, who?  Have a safe flight home, lads.  You're done.

The noise at Ilic Park when Kosta hit the leveler?  Absolutely immense.  A wall of sound.  The flares, blinding.  It was over at that point.  We were ascendant, and the only question was whether the Italians' bus would make it to the airport in one piece.

No comment on that, by the way.  I don't know what you're talking about.

Bozidar and the lads had quite the night.  Allegedly.

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Quick glance at Europe as we head for the stretch run.

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Porto is a good draw.  Probably the easiest we could have had, although I'd have loved to face Monaco.

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CRNO-BELI DIRECT Broadcast, April 15, 2065 -- RUSH TRANSCRIPT

Metallica's Master of Puppets (remastered, 2056) plays over a video montage, showing glorious triumphs from FK Partizan Beograd's past, featuring highlights from the recent European campaigns.  Gratuitous footage of Ultras' leader and former child actor Božidar Bodrožić chugging plum brandy while riding a tiger also features prominently.

The footage fades to black, and then to Bodrožić sitting, shirtless, on a gilded throne, the tiger at his feet and a Capuchin monkey perched on his shoulder.  The monkey appears to be chain smoking clove cigarettes.  As the camera pulls back, it appears that Bodrožić's throne sits on a hill, overlooking Ilic Park.

BOŽIDAR (enthusiastically): Yes, yes, it is the welcome to you.  Welcome again to the nightly Crno-beli direct broadcast, brought to you by the good, manly men at Jelly Belly.  Have a Jelly Belly with the Crno-beli, yes?!

At the mention of what sponsors hope will become a new catchphrase for Partizan supporters, a look of disgust passes over Božidar's face, which turns a deep red.  He takes a deep breath, visibly counts to 8 (he can't count to ten), and continues, tapping his fingers in time with the music.  Master of Puppets continue to blare loudly.

BOŽIDAR (getting excited):  What is this that I am saying?  All you know, you know very well.  We have yet another win tonight, over those prancing Portugeezy ponies, who appear to have spent their pre-game waxing their chestses instead of practicing the kicking, yes?  Hahahaha, we are the weeeners, once again, with the blood of Telleus flowing through our veins.

The camera pans back to show a thronging mass of Partizan Ultras and Serbian beauties, drinking.  Carousing.  Basking in the glory of Partizan's win over Porto tonight.  No one pays any attention to Božidar.  Which angers him.

BOŽIDAR (angry): Who are all of you?  Where is Nemanja?  Hey, Nemanja!  Get over here!

A slender, heavily-scarred man approaches warily.  The nightly broadcast appears to be taking its usual, depressing turn right on cue.

BOŽIDAR (sad, yet angry): You, Nemanja.  You are my only friend.  You are a master of karate and friendship to everyone! Yes!

Nemanja nods, scanning the room for potential threats.

BOŽIDAR (getting excited again, distracted):  What is that noise?  Yes?!  Jasna, turn down that music!!  We havv the win tonight.  That tiny Irish refereeeee, he loves the Crno-beli.  All black we wear, all black they wear...hah!  Who can tell!  The Fish, he shall never tell...before game, I tell him, I will eat your babies, *****.  He did the pee-pee on himself!  Then I drank more of the Šljivovica from the bottle of the sunscreen, because then no one is the knowing.  No, Nemanja, I was not drinking sunscreen!  Yuu shuult your feelthy, lying mouth!   Let's go to Portuuugallll!!!

Božidar has begun to slur even more noticeably than before, and shout excessive profanities at the other Ultras, who have begun to jump around with renewed vigor.  The women are not impressed.  Drunken demands to play "Johnny Appleseed" will surely follow, as Božidar perpetually confuses the American folk hero with William Tell.  He confuses many things, and has since his teenage years when he suffered a head-injury on the set of American Pie XVI, in his critically-acclaimed (in Serbia) role as "Awkward Exchange Student #4." 

The chorus of Master of Puppets begins as the camera fades to black.

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A big congratulations to the local juniors team we sponsored this year on their 4th place finish.  What a ****ing joke.

414df1a331b5837ea9836b0fc875b679.png

FK Partizan Beograd / Colombia

April 2065 Mini-Update

Doing things the easy way just isn't going to happen it seems.  In the intimidating confines of Ilic Park, we utterly destroyed Porto.  Took them apart.  But couldn't finish.

A 1-0 lead heading to Portugal was solid, but left the door ajar.  We were immense, matching them blow for blow...until we gave up an 88th minute goal.  Fortunately, our nerve held and we snatched a winner in extra time.

Into a European semifinal for the first time in nearly 100 years...having lost to Madrid 99 years ago in Brussels.  Can we banish the ghosts?

If Billy runs the middle again, it's certainly possible.  The little rascal just loves to jam a finger in UEFA's eye, and they can't fire him, no matter how much nonsense he lets slide.  Both teams in all black?  "No, no.  That one's got little white stripes on the front of the jersey.  Play on, then!"

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7 hours ago, ManUtd1 said:

CRNO-BELI DIRECT Broadcast, April 15, 2065 -- RUSH TRANSCRIPT

Metallica's Master of Puppets (remastered, 2056) plays over a video montage, showing glorious triumphs from FK Partizan Beograd's past, featuring highlights from the recent European campaigns.  Gratuitous footage of Ultras' leader and former child actor Božidar Bodrožić chugging plum brandy while riding a tiger also features prominently.

The footage fades to black, and then to Bodrožić sitting, shirtless, on a gilded throne, the tiger at his feet and a Capuchin monkey perched on his shoulder.  The monkey appears to be chain smoking clove cigarettes.  As the camera pulls back, it appears that Bodrožić's throne sits on a hill, overlooking Ilic Park.

BOŽIDAR (enthusiastically): Yes, yes, it is the welcome to you.  Welcome again to the nightly Crno-beli direct broadcast, brought to you by the good, manly men at Jelly Belly.  Have a Jelly Belly with the Crno-beli, yes?!

At the mention of what sponsors hope will become a new catchphrase for Partizan supporters, a look of disgust passes over Božidar's face, which turns a deep red.  He takes a deep breath, visibly counts to 8 (he can't count to ten), and continues, tapping his fingers in time with the music.  Master of Puppets continue to blare loudly.

BOŽIDAR (getting excited):  What is this that I am saying?  All you know, you know very well.  We have yet another win tonight, over those prancing Portugeezy ponies, who appear to have spent their pre-game waxing their chestses instead of practicing the kicking, yes?  Hahahaha, we are the weeeners, once again, with the blood of Telleus flowing through our veins.

The camera pans back to show a thronging mass of Partizan Ultras and Serbian beauties, drinking.  Carousing.  Basking in the glory of Partizan's win over Porto tonight.  No one pays any attention to Božidar.  Which angers him.

BOŽIDAR (angry): Who are all of you?  Where is Nemanja?  Hey, Nemanja!  Get over here!

A slender, heavily-scarred man approaches warily.  The nightly broadcast appears to be taking its usual, depressing turn right on cue.

BOŽIDAR (sad, yet angry): You, Nemanja.  You are my only friend.  You are a master of karate and friendship to everyone! Yes!

Nemanja nods, scanning the room for potential threats.

BOŽIDAR (getting excited again, distracted):  What is that noise?  Yes?!  Jasna, turn down that music!!  We havv the win tonight.  That tiny Irish refereeeee, he loves the Crno-beli.  All black we wear, all black they wear...hah!  Who can tell!  The Fish, he shall never tell...before game, I tell him, I will eat your babies, *****.  He did the pee-pee on himself!  Then I drank more of the Šljivovica from the bottle of the sunscreen, because then no one is the knowing.  No, Nemanja, I was not drinking sunscreen!  Yuu shuult your feelthy, lying mouth!   Let's go to Portuuugallll!!!

Božidar has begun to slur even more noticeably than before, and shout excessive profanities at the other Ultras, who have begun to jump around with renewed vigor.  The women are not impressed.  Drunken demands to play "Johnny Appleseed" will surely follow, as Božidar perpetually confuses the American folk hero with William Tell.  He confuses many things, and has since his teenage years when he suffered a head-injury on the set of American Pie XVI, in his critically-acclaimed (in Serbia) role as "Awkward Exchange Student #4." 

The chorus of Master of Puppets begins as the camera fades to black.

I thought we'd hit peak madness with Ur Cristiano. Glad to see I was wrong.

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7 hours ago, yugo23 said:

32-1 shots on goal in first leg against Porto. :eek:

Could you post screen with past winners of Greek league? Strange to see Olympiacos in mid table. 

Yeah, our wastefulness could have easily cost us the tie!

Greece!  Lots of PAOK, but Panathinaikos pulled one out last year.

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2 hours ago, Fer Fuchs Ake said:

I thought we'd hit peak madness with Ur Cristiano. Glad to see I was wrong.

giphy.gif

:lol:

Glad to have you aboard, man!

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11 hours ago, ManUtd1 said:

CRNO-BELI DIRECT Broadcast, April 15, 2065 -- RUSH TRANSCRIPT

Metallica's Master of Puppets (remastered, 2056) plays over a video montage, showing glorious triumphs from FK Partizan Beograd's past, featuring highlights from the recent European campaigns.  Gratuitous footage of Ultras' leader and former child actor Božidar Bodrožić chugging plum brandy while riding a tiger also features prominently.

The footage fades to black, and then to Bodrožić sitting, shirtless, on a gilded throne, the tiger at his feet and a Capuchin monkey perched on his shoulder.  The monkey appears to be chain smoking clove cigarettes.  As the camera pulls back, it appears that Bodrožić's throne sits on a hill, overlooking Ilic Park.

BOŽIDAR (enthusiastically): Yes, yes, it is the welcome to you.  Welcome again to the nightly Crno-beli direct broadcast, brought to you by the good, manly men at Jelly Belly.  Have a Jelly Belly with the Crno-beli, yes?!

At the mention of what sponsors hope will become a new catchphrase for Partizan supporters, a look of disgust passes over Božidar's face, which turns a deep red.  He takes a deep breath, visibly counts to 8 (he can't count to ten), and continues, tapping his fingers in time with the music.  Master of Puppets continue to blare loudly.

BOŽIDAR (getting excited):  What is this that I am saying?  All you know, you know very well.  We have yet another win tonight, over those prancing Portugeezy ponies, who appear to have spent their pre-game waxing their chestses instead of practicing the kicking, yes?  Hahahaha, we are the weeeners, once again, with the blood of Telleus flowing through our veins.

The camera pans back to show a thronging mass of Partizan Ultras and Serbian beauties, drinking.  Carousing.  Basking in the glory of Partizan's win over Porto tonight.  No one pays any attention to Božidar.  Which angers him.

BOŽIDAR (angry): Who are all of you?  Where is Nemanja?  Hey, Nemanja!  Get over here!

A slender, heavily-scarred man approaches warily.  The nightly broadcast appears to be taking its usual, depressing turn right on cue.

BOŽIDAR (sad, yet angry): You, Nemanja.  You are my only friend.  You are a master of karate and friendship to everyone! Yes!

Nemanja nods, scanning the room for potential threats.

BOŽIDAR (getting excited again, distracted):  What is that noise?  Yes?!  Jasna, turn down that music!!  We havv the win tonight.  That tiny Irish refereeeee, he loves the Crno-beli.  All black we wear, all black they wear...hah!  Who can tell!  The Fish, he shall never tell...before game, I tell him, I will eat your babies, *****.  He did the pee-pee on himself!  Then I drank more of the Šljivovica from the bottle of the sunscreen, because then no one is the knowing.  No, Nemanja, I was not drinking sunscreen!  Yuu shuult your feelthy, lying mouth!   Let's go to Portuuugallll!!!

Božidar has begun to slur even more noticeably than before, and shout excessive profanities at the other Ultras, who have begun to jump around with renewed vigor.  The women are not impressed.  Drunken demands to play "Johnny Appleseed" will surely follow, as Božidar perpetually confuses the American folk hero with William Tell.  He confuses many things, and has since his teenage years when he suffered a head-injury on the set of American Pie XVI, in his critically-acclaimed (in Serbia) role as "Awkward Exchange Student #4." 

The chorus of Master of Puppets begins as the camera fades to black.

Is there any doubt that this is the greatest thread of all time?

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1 hour ago, oriole01 said:

Is there any doubt that this is the greatest thread of all time?

 

1 hour ago, Rikulec said:

None at all.

Keep going. :thup:

Don't know about that, but my goal at this point has to be completing the challenge.  I'm away from my laptop for a while, but am pretty sure there are 10 teams left... Plus any others that become eligible.

Hold my beer... :eek:

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A big congratulations to the local juniors team we sponsored this year on their 4th place finish.  What a ****ing joke.

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FK Partizan Beograd / Colombia

May 2065 Mini-Update

A triumphant first leg before our flag waving, flare throwing support.  Epic.  We were clinical.  All of the luck that didn't go our way in the first leg against Porto?  It found us at Ilic Park.

Meaning that the newly-humbled Belgians would have to attack in Anderlecht, which played right into our hands.  A solid defensive display ensued, and we're through.

A domestic treble within our sights, and the chance at redemption on the horizon.  99 years after the disaster in Brussels, we can set things right...having twice traveled through Belgium on this journey -- to Brugge and Anderlecht.  Now, we move on.

To Wembley.  To face a mighty West Ham side who sit 23 points clear of second-place Leeds.  Having won 4 of the last 5 Premier League titles, and playing in its 5th straight Champions League final.  They've won four, including their first under my father in 2051.  Unquestionably the top side on the continent over the last 5 years.  It's a big ask.

But that's where my father made his career.  Can I follow in his footsteps?  Doubts abound, but I've shown my mettle building this side.  We're almost there.

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Edited by ManUtd1
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