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The Commentators Curse: Volume 1 – The Battle of the ‘stans’ (Holiday / Sign Up


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Week ending Sunday 7th March 2010

Bill has stated that his current pay deal is too low and wants a higher wage.

Azeryk has also stated that his current pay deal is too low and wants a bigger wage.

The Champions League 1st Knockout Round has been completed:

Rhys Davies, David Frketic (both Real Madrid) and Gareth Davies (Arsenal) were all unused subs as Real Madrid won 2-0 away to Arsenal in the 2nd leg. Real Madrid win 3-1 on agg.

Alan (7) scored as Liverpool drew 1-1 away to Benfica. Birkinaldo was an unused sube. Liverpool win 3-1 on agg.

Samaras Taraldo (8) played the whole match and Freealdinho (6) came on as a sub as Man Utd won 3-0 at home to Anderlecht, winning 5-0 on agg.

The Quarter Final Draw has been made:

<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre">

Real Madrid v Bayern Munich

Liverpool v Newcastle

Zaragoza v Man Utd

Sevilla v Sampdoria

</pre>

Thats all the updates for now guys, I will try and get some more done sometime this week, but I have a 15,000 word dissertation to finish before the end of the month as well as cricket matches, so updates may not be for a few more days. icon14.gif

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<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Taunton:

I will.

Anything is better than being frozen out at San Siro.

It is probably Paolo Maldinis great grandfather that has nicked my left back place. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Nah, its actually his great grandmother instead. icon_wink.gif

The problem for Koppers is that AC Milan play 3-5-2, so Koppers rarely gets in at centreback or left wing back, which sort of leaves him up a creek without a paddle!

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Player Cam Match Report

Sun 14th Mar: Rangers v Hearts – League Cup Final

Prof Frink starts at centre back for Rangers.

Hearts make a fantastic start, scoring after just 2 minutes with a close range tap in. 0-1.

Rangers equalise soon though, Vittek powering a ball into the far corner of the net after 6 minutes. 1-1.

What a turnaround, 9 minutes gone and Larsen breaks through the Hearts defence before knocking the ball into the top corner of the net. 2-1.

25 minutes gone and Thomson runs through the centre before slotting it past the keeper. 3-1.

38 minutes gone and Larsen receives the ball down the left. He dribbles into the area before pulling the ball back to Hunt who first time finds the back of the net. 4-1.

Corner from the right for Rangers. Prof Frink powers a header at the back post, but the Hearts keeper does well to tip the ball over the bar.

HT: Rangers 4 v 1 Hearts

Half Time Stats

Both teams hit the crossbar early on the second half.

Rest of the game is fairly quiet though.

FT: Rangers 4 v 1 Hearts

Full Time Stats

Rangers have won the Scottish League Cup Final 2010.

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Week ending Sunday 14th March 2010

The UEFA Cup 2nd Knockout Round has been completed:

Pablo Gonzalez did not feature as Chelsea won 1-0 away to Celtic in the 2nd leg, to progress 4-0 on agg.

Humphrey Koppers (7) played the whole match and Mick Bubble was an unused sub as AC Milan lost 0-1 at home to Lyon in the second leg, losing 0-3 on agg to the French side. Mastinho didn’t feature for Lyon.

Selim Atas (7) scored and Ulfinus Chaoconov (7) also played as Athletico Madrid lost 1-2 away to PSG in the 2nd leg, and went out on away goals after a 4-4 agg scoreline.

Alvaro De Santiago was an unused sub as Inter Milan drew 1-1 away to Dortmund. Inter progressed 4-1 on agg.

The Quarter Final draw is:

<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre">

Espanyol v Fenerbahce

PSG v Inter Milan

Vitesse v Chelsea

Lille v Lyon

</pre>

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Player Cam Match Report

Sun 21st Mar: Dundee Utd (10th) v (2nd) Rangers – League Match

Prof Frink starts at centre back.

Rangers get off to a cracking start, Kris Boyd heading post and in after a cross from the right after 4 minutes. 0-1.

Rangers continue to press and after 15 minutes another cross from the right is again turned in by Boyd. 0-2.

24 minutes gone and Larsen feeds the ball through to Boyd, who is absolutely delighted to tap the ball past the Dundee Utd keeper to complete his hat-trick. 0-3.

33 minutes gone and a Utd player handles the ball in the area after a corner from the left. Penalty to Rangers. Up steps Vittek, who places the ball to the keepers left. 0-4.

HT: Dundee United 0 v 4 Rangers

Half Time Stats

Freekick to Rangers on the left side after 64 minutes. Larsen floats the ball into the box. Boyd leaps up 15 yards out to power the ball into the net. 0-5.

72 minutes gone and Hutton takes a long throw from the right. The ball is thrown to Boyd, who turns his man in the air before shooting and scoring again! 0-6.

FT: Dundee United 0 v 6 Rangers

Full Time Stats

Boyd wins the MOM award for his 5 goals, but Prof Frink gets a rating of 9 for his rock solid performance at the back, winning 12 out of 13 headers.

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Week ending Sunday Sunday 21st March 2010

Bennitto Hagan is attracting interest from Liverpool.

Bill has signed a new contract with Lazio. His 3 year deal works out at £16,500pw.

Middlesbrough boss Stuart Pearce has praised the recent form of Marcus Cook (6-7-7-7-9).

Everton have sacked their manager Michael Laudrup.

Azeryk has repeated his request to have an improved contract with better pay.

The World Rankings for March have been released:

<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre">

Kyrgyzstan 32nd (925 points) Down 2 places

Turkmenistan 33rd (921 points) Down 2 places

</pre>

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Player Cam Match Report

Sat 28th Mar: Rangers (1st) v (12th) Hamilton – League Match

Prof Frink starts at centre back for Rangers.

Larsen plays a quick freekick 25 yards out to Frink, who lays the ball straight back to him. Larsen shoots first time and the power zooms into the net. 1-0, 9 minutes gone.

Hamilton struggle to even get out of their own half. Ironically though, it is on their first attack of the game that they concede again. Rangers launch a long ball counter attack, leading to Kris Boyd finishing it off. 2-0.

HT: Rangers 2 v 0 Hamilton

Half Time Stats

The second half is relatively subdued. In the 79th minute Rangers get their 3rd goal, a quick freekick down the right is crossed into the box where Shiels is there to head home. 3-0.

FT: Rangers 3 v 0 Hamilton

Full Time Stats

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Week ending Sunday 28th March 2010

Everton have re-appointed David Moyes as manager of Everton.

Azeryk has handed in a transfer request to the club. Wigan (£12.75m) and Portsmouth (£8m) have made offers for him.

Ryan is wanted by Lyon, Fiorentina and Lazio.

Games Played Stats

Kyrgyzstan Players

Turkmenistan Players

Note: Rhys Davies has played all those games for Castilla.

League Tables

England - Premiership

France - First League

Italy - Serie A

Italy - Serie B

Scotland - Premier League

Spain - La Liga

Player Cam for April will focus on… David Frketic at Real Madrid.

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3 matches so far, that is all, 7.67 rating and I all they think I should play is 3 matches, egads, maybe a move to AFC Wimbeldon or another lower division team would get me off the bench more often.

How long is my contract and can i just go on holiday till it runs out, except for international games that is, lol.

Peace

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<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by TeeWee:

Hmmm... Doing really well at Milan, but 4th place is disappointing. I take it the 3rd place gets us into Champs League qualifying stages and 4th spot is UEFA Cup hell?

8 games, 1 point behind on 3rd. Gooooo Milan! </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

The top 4 teams from England, Spain and Italy all get Champs League Qual, so 4th is good enough atm

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<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Walcott's Wonderkids:

Apologies for the lack of updates in the last few days, been playing too much cricket!

Cricket season is now over for me so I should be able to get update done for tomorrow. icon14.gif

After that there will be another delay unfortunately as I'm going to the Reading festival next weekend. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

No worries, do it when you have time!

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Player Cam Match Report

Sat 3rd Apr: Real Madrid (1st) v (2nd) Valencia – League Match

In this top of the table clash both David Frketic + Gary McNeil are not included in the match day squad. Only Rhys Davies is included, on the bench for Real.

Tevez opens the scoring for Valencia after just 4 minutes. 0-1.

Mata equalises for Madrid after 31 minutes, tapping in at the back post after a great cross from the left. 1-1.

HT: Real Madrid 1 v 1 Valencia

Despite Real having the better of the 2nd half, no goals are scored.

FT: Real Madrid 1 v 1 Valencia

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Week ending Sunday 4th April 2010

Both Wigan and Portsmouth have their bids for Azeryk accepted. He snubs the offer of a new contract with Boro and has decided to join Wigan in a transfer worth £10.5m. It will go through on 1st July 2010.

Prof Frink has rejected the offer of a new 5 year deal with Rangers. He doesn’t want a contract of such length.

Hermandinho is wanted by Barcelona.

Gary McNeil is now only wanted by Inter and Lazio.

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Player Cam Match Report

Weds 7th Apr: Bayern Munich (1) v (3) Real Madrid - Champs League Q Final 2nd Leg

For the second game in a row, Frketic + McNeil are included in the match day squad. Rhys Davies is again the sub keeper.

A very even, but quiet first half.

HT: Bayern Munich 0 (1) v (3) 0 Real Madrid

The second half also produced few highlights, the main one being Steve Sidwell being sent off injury time for Bayern for a 2nd yellow card.

FT: Bayern Munich 0 (1) v (3) 0 Real Madrid

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Player Cam Match Report

Sat 10th Apr: Racing (18th) v (1st) Real Madrid – League Match

David Frketic makes the bench for this league game. Gary McNeil starts as one of the 3 centre mids in a 4-3-1-2 formation. Rhys Davies doesn’t make the bench.

Real Madrid dominate from the start, racking up 9 shots on goal in the first 20 minutes.

Gary McNeil does a great Johnny Wilkinson impression after 34 minutes and misses an absolute sitter from 6 yards out.

McNeil has a couple more long distance efforts before the break.

Just as it looks like it will be nil nil at the interval, Racing score with only their second shot on goal. A freekick from the left is lumped into the box and the Racing striker leaps well to head home. 1-0.

HT: Racing 1 v 0 Real Madrid

Half Time Stats

Real continue to pile on the pressure but the Racing keeper is defiant in his efforts to prevent an equaliser.

Gary McNeil is subbed after 72 minutes.

Finally Real get their equaliser, Higuain hitting home a half volley after a cross from the right from Diarra. The 2 subs combining to make the goal. 1-1.

Racing start to attack a little more, but neither side can score in a frantic last 10 minutes.

FT: Racing 1 v 1 Real Madrid

Full Time Stats

Real Madrid really should have won that match.

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Week ending Sunday 11th April 2010

Gareth Davies has bruised his jaw and will be out for a few days.

With the chairman sensing that the players had lost confidence in their manager, Vicenza has sacked their manager.

With 5 games to spare, Arsenal has won the English Premier Division, their first league title in 6 seasons.

Athletico Madrid have won the Spanish Cup after a 2-1 win against Real Sociedad. Although Selim Atas was an unused sub, Ulfinus Chaoconov (7) played the whole game and score the 2nd goal for Athletico.

The Champions League Quarter Finals have been completed:

Despite none of Rhys Davies, David Frketic + Gary McNeil getting on the pitch in the second leg, Real Madrid drew 0-0 away to Bayern Munich to progress 3-1 on agg.

Jacariah Birkinaldo was an unused sub and Alan + Peter Slater were not included as Liverpool lost 2-1 away to Newcastle in the 2nd leg, but Liverpool progress on away goals after a 2-2 agg scoreline.

Samaras Taraldo (7) played the whole match and Freealdinho (7) came on as a sub just after the hour mark as Man Utd won 3-1 at home to Zaragoza in the 2nd leg, which was enough to overturn their first leg deficit as Man Utd progress 4-3 on agg.

So all the Liverpool, Man Utd and Real Madrid players are still left in the competition. The Semi Final draw is:

<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre">

Real Madrid v Liverpool

Sampdoria v Man Utd

</pre>

The UEFA Cup Quarter Finals have also been completed:

Pablo Gonzalez (6) started but was subbed at halftime after picking up a knock as Chelsea drew 1-1 at home to Vitesse. After a shocking 1st leg result, Chelsea are knocked out 4-1 on agg.

Alvaro De Santiago (6) played the whole match as Inter Milan drew 1-1 at home to PSG. In another shocking 1st leg result, Inter Milan are knocked out 4-2 on agg.

Mastinho (7) played the first hour of the 2nd leg as Lyon won 2-0 at home to Lille. Lyon progress 5-0 on agg.

So only Mastinho is left in the UEFA Cup. The Semi Final draw is:

<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre">

Lyon v Vitesse

Fenerbahce v PSG

</pre>

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Mastinho (7) played the first hour of the 2nd leg as Lyon won 2-0 at home to Lille. Lyon progress 5-0 on agg.

So only Mastinho is left in the UEFA Cup. The Semi Final draw is:

Woooo go Lyon!

We can easily beat Vitesse

And we're ahead of PSG in the league aren't we so we'll easily beat them if they get to the final

icon_biggrin.gif

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<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by elf_30:

KUTGW WW, this has been so much fun, any chance I am getting any offers or at least getting more playing time? </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

No offers and only a little playing time!

Don't worry, you've come along way since your Redditch days, future global stardom awaits potentially at the World Cup. icon_cool.gif

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Player Cam Match Report

Sat 17th Apr: Barcelona (5th) v (1st) Real Madrid – League Match

David Frketic + Gary McNeil again miss out on the match day squad. Rhys Davies is the sub keeper.

Real Madrid takes the lead after 25 minutes when Van Nistelrooy hits a rare shot from outside the box. His shot from 20 yards finds the top corner. 0-1.

HT: Barcelona 0 v 1 Real Madrid

Ronaldinho has a goal ruled out after 59 minutes for being offside.

Barcelona equalise after 68 minutes though, a 30 yard strike from Zapater. 1-1.

Samuel Eto then gets the winner for Barca, tapping into an empty net after Casillas could only parry a shot from Bodmer into his path. 2-1.

FT: Barcelona 2 v 1 Real Madrid

As a result, Valencia move above Real Madrid at the top of the table on the basis of a better head-to-head record.

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Week ending Sunday 18th April 2010

Vicenza have appointed Domenico Di Carlo as their new manager.

The World Rankings for April have been released:

<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre">

Krygyzstan 27th (970 points) Up 5 places

Turkmenistan 34th (896 points) Down 1 place

</pre>

Kyrgyzstan opening up a slight pyschological advantage ahead of the Stanlies Cup 2010 and the World Cup.

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Player Cam Match Report

Weds 21st Apr: Real Madrid v Liverpool - Champions League Semi Final 1st Leg

David Frketic + Rhys Davies are on the bench for Real Madrid. Jacariah Birkinaldo starts at centre back for Liverpool.

Liverpool get off to a fantastic start with Dirk Kuyt heading in a cross from the left after just 5 minutes. 0-1.

The rest of the half is fairly dull, until the 43rd minute when Sneijder powers the ball home from a tight angle. 1-1.

HT: Real Madrid 1 v 1 Liverpool

Half Time Stats

After a lovely passing move from Real Madrid, Gago plays the ball into the feet of Van Nistelrooy. He turns Birkinaldo before slotting the ball past Reina. 2-1.

In a rare foray forward, Torres pulls the ball back to Birkinaldo but his shot goes over the bar.

Real Madrid then tries to get a third goal but can’t find the back of the net.

FT: Real Madrid 2 v 1 Liverpool

Full Time Stats

Real Madrid deserve their win and the game is nicely set up for the second leg.

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Player Cam Match Report

Sat 24th Apr: Real Madrid (2nd) v (17th) Celta Vigo – League Match

David Frketic starts at right mid in a 4-4-2 formation. Gary McNeil + Rhys Davies are on the subs bench. Libertinho starts in centre mid for Celta.

Real Madrid bombard the Celta goal in the first 20 minutes. David Frketic has a 20 yard freekick well saved by the Celta keeper.

After 29 minutes Frketic plays the ball through to Robinho, but his shot is straight at the keeper.

Celta have a corner from the left. The ball is played into the near post and Frketic almost heads the ball into his own net.

HT: Real Madrid 0 v 0 Celta Vigo

Half Time Stats

Libertinho is on a rating of 7.

Frketic is subbed off at half time.

Robinho gives Real Madrid the lead after 69 minutes following a freekick from the right by Diarra. 1-0.

Libertinho picks up a yellow card for a hack after 73 minutes.

Robinho doubles the lead after 76 minutes, running onto a Van Nistelrooy flick on. 2-0.

Baiano is sent off in injury time for Celta Vigo, picking up his 2nd yellow.

FT: Real Madrid 2 v 0 Celta Vigo

Full Time Stats

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Week ending Sunday 25th April 2010

Man Utd boss Carlo Ancelotti has spoken out about Samaras Taraldo's excellent form of late (7-8-8-8-10).

The Champions League Semi Final 1st Legs were played this week:

Samaras Taraldo (8) played the whole match as Man Utd won 1-0 away to Sampdoria.

Real Madrid 2 v 1 Liverpool – match already covered

The UEFA Cup Semi Final 1st Legs were played this week:

Mastinho was an unused sub as Lyon drew 0-0 with Vitesse.

Other match: Fenerbahce 3 v 1 PSG

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Player Cam Match Report

Weds 28th Apr: Liverpool (1) v (2) Real Madrid – Champions League Semi Final 2nd Leg

Annoyingly none of the Real Madrid superkids make the match day squad. Alan + Birkinaldo are on the bench for Liverpool.

Kuyt plays the ball to Torres who fires low and gives Liverpool the lead after 13 minutes. 1-0.

Real Madrid equalise 5 minutes later, Van Nistelrooy crossing from the left for Higuain to tap home. 1-1.

Liverpool control the rest of the half, but no more goals are scored.

HT: Liverpool 1 (2) v (3) 1 Real Madrid

Brilliant save by Casillas after 53 minutes to deny Kuyt.

Casillas then pulls off a fingertip save to deny Torres.

Alan comes on for Kuyt with 3 minutes remaining.

Within a minute of coming on Alan has 2 shots to send the tie into extra time. Both times Casillas pulls off miracle saves.

Xabi Alonso then has a shot from the edge of the area saved by Casillas.

FT: Liverpool 1 (2) v (3) 1 Real Madrid

Full Time Stats

Liverpool bombarded the Real Madrid goal in the 2nd half but could not find a way past Casillas. So Real Madrid progress 3-2 on agg.

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