[FM 18] Winning Isn’t Everything -- Rubbing It In The Faces Of Your Enemies Is Also Important

[ManUtd1]

I don’t regret what I’ve done.  Nor do I regret how I ended up here, with my once-promising career thrown onto the ash heap of history, thanks to a single moment of madness.

Ok...ok…ok…  It was a series of individual, yet arguably "connected" moments (only in the temporal sense, mind you) culminating into one big, colossal ****-up that makes everything else pale in comparison.

More than a year later, and nothing can wash the bitter taste of regret from my mouth.  I have not shaken the shame I felt – and still feel – at having been unceremoniously told to pack my things and leave the Zubieta training grounds forever, a once-promising career in tatters.  No thanks for all those years, in the service of Real Sociedad, as a player and then part of the backroom staff.  No, not for me.

My humiliation and disgrace complete, I did the only reasonable thing. 

No, not that. 

No, not horse tranquilizers, either. What the ****ing **** is wrong with you?!

No, I did the responsible thing.  At least, I tried to.

I started anew.  A new life.  In a new city.  Away from the siren song of football.

It didn't take.  Still, she called to me, that sweet temptress…

…and I could not resist her tender embrace, not when my phone began to ring again.  And not when an opportunity arose that I did not expect – an opportunity I could not turn down, that could see me get things back on track in short order.

And so I found myself on distant shores, far from the bright lights and my home in northern Spain, where my nascent career in management had been so cruelly snuffed out before it had truly began.   

More importantly, as I stepped off the plane, the darkness that had surrounded me this past year has not dissipated.  It remains.  Yet now I stand in the darkness without fear or trembling, laughing with my heel on its throat. 

Because I’ve learned something.

The darkness has served a purpose. 

It has shown me that seeking to forget the past is nothing but a fool’s errand. 

No…in order to find redemption, one must remember.

Never forgive.  Never forget.  Because revenge is a dish best served cold.  And when I’m through, none will dare laugh at my expense.

 

[ManUtd1]

The wind was not the beginning.  But it was a beginning.

A harsh wind blows eastwards in the mid-afternoon darkness.  Descending from on high, coursing across the water, the winds blows freshly fallen snow every which way.

Never mind wondering how it came to this.  I'm here.  In Malmö.

The name of the city rolls off my tongue as I gather my luggage and begin looking for the club representatives…who appear to be running late.  The airport is deserted…oddly empty.  I expected…I don’t know, some kind of fanfare?

No leaks.  No media.  No big welcoming party.  That’s fine.  I’d rather it be this way.  Truth be told, it is too dark and too cold for any big press conference.  Understated, yes…understated suits me just fine.  We can let our football speak for itself.

Still…it’s been 20 minutes.  This is…odd.

Finally, I’m waved down…by a guy wearing a moose hat?  Magnus…?  What the…?  Is this an… Uber? 

Sweet Jeebus, guys, don’t go to any expense on my account, eh? 

I sit back in the plush backseat of the stretch Prius, as a Jose Gonzalez tune washes over me.  Calming, dulcet tones ensuring that inner peace remains, even if the chip on my shoulder remains as sharp as ever.

After a short while, I can see it on the horizon.

The Swedbank.  Home to Malmö FF.  A top flight team, about to greet their new manager.

But, we speed right past the empty, unlit façade, slowing moments later at…is…is that another stadium?  Right next door…?  What the…?

That’s bizarre.  As I step out of the Uber, Magnus begins babbling incoherently, ushering me towards a door in the darkened stadium…  As I enter, 4 jovial Swedish men clad in yellow, head-to-toe, leap to their feet and speaking to me in rapid-fire Swedish, gesturing wildly.  I don't understand a word.  A matronly woman slowly fills champagne flutes from a 4-gallon jug of…something that doesn’t look like champagne. 

Not speaking a word of Swedish, I can only nod, smile and gesticulate wildly in response.  That seems to make everyone happy, and the so-called champagne warms my throat, lubricating both the conversation (such as it is) and the mood.  Before long, the boombox in the corner is switched on, and the woman begins to grind incessantly against a man I’m pretty sure introduced himself to me as the Chairman.  Magnus sits in the corner, talking to a ficus.

An odd bunch, no doubt.  But, as Journey’s Any Way You Want It hits the first chorus, I decide to make the best of an awkward situation and enjoy myself, before the real work begins in the morning.  Shouting words I learned watching reruns of the Muppets (figuring that the Swedish Chef would give me a few rudimentary words), I then called out in my native tongue, “ain’t no party like a di blåe party, eh?”

“Di blåe?  No, no.  We are di gule, ya?!?”

And suddenly I realize, I've made a huge mistake.  I should have read the fine print on that contract a little closer.

[ManUtd1]

Life Breaks Us.  Then We Fill The Cracks With Something Stronger.

December 2018

And so it begins.

My Zulte/Dutch save withered on the vine, thanks to work/family commitments, waning interest on my part, and some great CK2/EU4 sessions.  The narrative wasn't grabbing me and I felt like I was forcing things instead of enjoying it.  So I decided to shift gears and introduce a new character, while returning to my old stomping grounds in Sweden.

But, we couldn't go back to Malmo FF now, could we...no, we had to change things up.  I had an epic youth academy save with IFK Malmo a few years ago -- it rekindled my love for this game, and is the only reason I've played it since.  So back to Malmo we go...

This time, we'll track the journey of Gaizka Otxoa Bakero, a young man with a once-promising future in management, until during a fateful youth cup final he beat a linesman senseless with the lino's own flag.  Fired, disgraced and kicked out of the apartment he shared with his girlfriend, Gaizka fled.  But when the chance to manage Malmo arose, he couldn't say no...

If only he'd read the fine print.  Malmo FF wouldn't give him the time of day.  Not with that black mark on his resume.  But IFK Malmo, on the other hand...

Currently sitting in the 4th tier of Sweden, IFK Malmo have seen better days, even reaching the European Cup quarterfinals in 1960-61, falling to Rapid Wien 4-nil on aggregate.  In 1962, di gule were relegated from the Allsvenskan and have yet to return.  Their rivalry with Malmo FF has also gone stale, as the two sides have not played in the same division in more than 50 years.

The good news?  There has to be some good news, right?

Well...first of all, Malmo nearly won promotion last year though the playoffs, finishing 2nd in Division 2 Ostra Gotaland, before losing to Assyriska FF in the promotion playoff.  So the squad appears (at first blush) to be good enough to push for promotion in 2019.

Malmo also play in the Malmo Stadion, a 27.5k-capacity (15k seated) stadium once graced by the likes of Pele (during an exhibition match in 1960) and Zlatan (while playing for Malmo FF).  Malmo Stadion also served as a host site for the 1958 World Cup, but has since fallen on hard times.  As alluded to in the narrative above, Malmo Stadion sits directly in the shadow of the Swedbank, where Malmo FF cavort in the Allsvenskan and host the occasional European opponent.

So, while we have a massive stadium...it sits virtually empty, aging with each passing day.  Our average attendance in 2018?  175, with a mere 44 season ticket holders.

Gaizka's first task, if he is up to it, will be to repair his reputation and climb the ladder with IFK Malmo.

In the long term, however, Gaizka has but one goal in mind.  To reach it, those ****s at Real Sociedad who so quickly cast him aside must live to regret their decision.  That's right.  This is a revenge story.  And Gaiza will not rest until Los Txuri-Urdin have well and truly been shown up.

In terms of tactics, Gaiza is no genius.  He's going to implement the Columbian Crabhammer that I was using with the Dutch national team in my last save.  Maybe at some point in the narrative Gaiza will adopt something else, but for now he's keeping it simple.

It may be a long road ahead, but there is no turning back   This bear needs some honey.

 

 

 

  

Gaizka's first task?  Finding out why multiple players are having on-pitch seizures simultaneously.

[wynter]

May your Basque brethren tremble before the might of Malmö (IFK). 

Serious note though, looks interesting. Best of luck  (I was waiting for the inevitable Athletic Bilbao appointment so consider me surprised haha) 

[ManUtd1]

25 minutes ago, wynter said:

May your Basque brethren tremble before the might of Malmö (IFK). 

Serious note though, looks interesting. Best of luck  (I was waiting for the inevitable Athletic Bilbao appointment so consider me surprised haha) 

I haven't properly managed them in years, and there's no doubt it is a destination I'd like to get to!

[Timetxu]

Lovin' it! Love the Swedish leagues so zorte on 'ta irabazteko!

[BoxToBox]

"irreverent tomfoolery"

*sits down, sips tea...*

Yes.... yes....

[Minuy600]

Oh ho ho, seems interesting. Is this gonna be youth only or...?

[Rikulec]

I'm here.

[ManUtd1]

8 hours ago, Timetxu said:

Lovin' it! Love the Swedish leagues so zorte on 'ta irabazteko!

Thanks, man -- and welcome aboard!  I have yet to decide if there will be a foul-mouthed, Basque-speaking twitter account...

8 hours ago, BoxToBox said:

"irreverent tomfoolery"

*sits down, sips tea...*

Yes.... yes....

Pressure is on now...better look sharpish...but this tune IS my jam...

 

6 hours ago, Minuy600 said:

Oh ho ho, seems interesting. Is this gonna be youth only or...?

Thanks for coming on board!  Not youth only -- but I will focus on youth development, both through academy prospects and signings.

5 hours ago, Rikulec said:

I'm here.

Welcome aboard!

[BoxToBox]

8 minutes ago, ManUtd1 said:

Thanks, man -- and welcome aboard!  I have yet to decide if there will be a foul-mouthed, Basque-speaking twitter account...

Of course you have.

Of course there is.

[ManUtd1]

Just now, BoxToBox said:

Of course you have.

Of course there is.

In honor of @AttilaDerFickenSteinadler and @RonyDePony_Official...I'd be remiss to pass up the opportunity.

[BoxToBox]

3 minutes ago, ManUtd1 said:

In honor of @AttilaDerFickenSteinadler and @RonyDePony_Official...I'd be remiss to pass up the opportunity.

Damn straight.

[ManUtd1]

I think getting the lads together for a kickabout was a mistake.  Perhaps someone is pulling an elaborate, expensive prank at my expense. 

We're dire.  I'm not sure if our starting centerback is capable of tying his own shoes.  And after taking a long, hard look at our top winger, I'm confident I made the correct decision to not play with any.  Our best youth prospects?  The less said about them, the better.

Meeting with the backroom staff was equally frustrating.  They seem to be a rather opinionated lot, albeit with opinions scattered all across the map.  Magnus Horvath -- the affable gentleman who picked me up at the airport, who I've since learned is our kitman -- felt it was necessary to emphasize on at least 3 occasions that he needed to travel with us, because he "puts the 'Hor' in Horvath," with a knowing wink.   

Yet, this side pushed for promotion?  But we finished second, having scored more goals than anyone...and conceding fewer than anyone.  I'm still trying to wrap my head 'round it all.

It is going to be a long, long year.  

  

     

  

[ManUtd1]

Meant to point out before, these are the active leagues:

[Minuy600]

You shouldn't have shown that, now i'm gonna endlessly beg for you to show the Eredivisie's progression...

That said. How did the Eredivisie go before you started here?

[ManUtd1]

1 minute ago, Minuy600 said:

You shouldn't have shown that, now i'm gonna endlessly beg for you to show the Eredivisie's progression...

That said. How did the Eredivisie go before you started here?

I may end up there -- it'd be a great stop along the way! 

Feyenoord took the 2017/18 title and is atop the table right now:

  

I'm always happy to post screenshots -- just ask!

[Minuy600]

Almere City in the Eredivisy makes Minuy happy.

[ManUtd1]

1 minute ago, Minuy600 said:

Almere City in the Eredivisy makes me Minuy happy.

Managed by Seedorf, no less!

 

[MarcxD]

Automatic follow when you post a thread.

I've heard Basques can be a bit temperamental, should suit your style of characters quite well  

[ManUtd1]

26 minutes ago, MarcxD said:

Automatic follow when you post a thread.

I've heard Basques can be a bit temperamental, should suit your style of characters quite well  

Thanks, man!  As indicated above, I could easily find myself in the Netherlands, too!

Yeah, Gaizka has a chip on his shoulder...calling him temperamental might be underselling it...

[Makoto Nakamura]

Always love your threads, I'll be following!

[ManUtd1]

56 minutes ago, Makoto Nakamura said:

Always love your threads, I'll be following!

Thrilled to have you here, man! 

[ManUtd1]

And after all this time, we're finally ready to kick off the season...  5 loan signings are in the door, but they're rather poor.  Nevertheless, we're in with a shout for promotion...

 

Let's do this!!!

 

[BoxToBox]

Geebus, no Zajicek in that squad!

[ManUtd1]

2 minutes ago, BoxToBox said:

Geebus, no Zajicek in that squad!

I'd take a guy who stood next to Zajicek's neighbor's second cousin's brother in line as the Tesco, at this point.

[BoxToBox]

[ManUtd1]

Life Breaks Us.  Then We Fill The Cracks With Something Stronger.

June 2019 Mini-Update

As it turns out...as crap as I believed our XI to be, our opponents are in fact more crap.

9 matches, 8 wins, 1 draw.  Every reason to be optimistic.

Is it pretty?  No.  But no matter.  We simply need to keep this up for a few more months, as we're (incredibly) one-third of the way through the season.

Granted, watching the Champions League final was painful the other day, as I was forced to accept just how far from the pinnacle of the game we truly are.  But there's a match on Saturday against 2nd-place Eskilsminne...those dog bastards.

[ManUtd1]

A quick glance around Europe, in no particular order...this is always something that entertains me -- just what happens when we press continue.

Unai Emery's PSG won the Champions League, while Spalletti's Inter won the Europa League.

        

  

  

 

[Minuy600]

Almere ****** 

And the CL showing exactly what's wrong with the new format, 5 countries in the round of 16 and only the big 4 from the QFs on, as was the case IRL this year.

[ManUtd1]

3 minutes ago, Minuy600 said:

Almere ****** 

And the CL showing exactly what's wrong with the new format, 5 countries in the round of 16 and only the big 4 from the QFs on, as was the case IRL this year.

Agreed completely.  One of my goals is always to disrupt that nonsense -- get some fresh blood into the latter stages of the European competitions.  The same old teams every year?  Boring.

[ManUtd1]

Oh, yeah...well, we offered you the contract sarcastically, you ****.  No, I'm not crying...leave me alone!

*rocks back and forth in the fetal position*

 

[ManUtd1]

Magnus seemed rather torn up that Zlatan rejected his contract offer.

I, for one, was shocked that Magnus had that level of authority at the club.  Turns out he doesn't and our newly-elected Chairman didn't like it.

 

[ManUtd1]

 

 

 

[Fer Fuchs Ake]

1 hour ago, ManUtd1 said:

Oh, yeah...well, we offered you the contract sarcastically, you ****.  No, I'm not crying...leave me alone!

*rocks back and forth in the fetal position*

 

£0 p/w.

You've insulted Zlatan.

Zlatan will remember this.

[Benjoe]

Always hate your threads, I'll be un-following.

cheers.

[ManUtd1]

45 minutes ago, Fer Fuchs Ake said:

£0 p/w.

You've insulted Zlatan.

Zlatan will remember this.

If anyone should be worried, Zlatan should be worried about Magnus.  He doesn't take rejection well.

And I guess, given Magnus' lack of authority to offer Zlatan a job in the first instance, he can't be surprised at the response he got...especially when offering that tempting salary.

12 minutes ago, Benjoe said:

Always hate your threads, I'll be un-following.

cheers.

 

[Benjoe]

5 minutes ago, ManUtd1 said:

 

 

 

[hasdgfas]

Yay! Back in Sweden! Hopefully this save hooks you more than the last one did. I'll definitely be following along.

[ManUtd1]

4 hours ago, Benjoe said:

 

I see your Michael Scott gif, and I raise you a Michael Scott gif.

3 hours ago, hasdgfas said:

Yay! Back in Sweden! Hopefully this save hooks you more than the last one did. I'll definitely be following along.

Welcome aboard!!!

I think it will.  This has come up much more organically, I'm not trying to force it.

[oriole01]

Me when I see a new @ManUtd1 thread...
 yes, I will try to communicate in twin peaks gifs as much as possible on this thread.
Brilliant start. This is going to be a great save, I can tell! Love the setting and the story, as always!

[ManUtd1]

9 hours ago, oriole01 said:

Me when I see a new @ManUtd1 thread...
 yes, I will try to communicate in twin peaks gifs as much as possible on this thread.
Brilliant start. This is going to be a great save, I can tell! Love the setting and the story, as always!

Well, not knowing that show I can't go toe-to-toe with you on those... But I'm still glad to have you on board! Now, let's get this first season wrapped up, shall we?!

[ManUtd1]

YELLOW FEVER PODCAST

September 20, 2019 (S01E02); rush transcript

------------

Allo, allo!

And welcoming to you, back to the Yellow Fever podding cast.  Our second of two, celebrating the glory of IFK Malmo, the one and only, my one true love.  Di gule.

It is, I, Magnus the ‘Hor’ coming to you live from the Pickwick Pub on Malmborgsgatan. 

A big thanks to you at the Pickwick Pub, for the reasonably priced beer and nachos.  This bear needs some honey, yes?  And if your bear needs honey, bring it down to the Pickwick!  Mention this podcast and get a free nacho. 

For legal reasons I must be clear – that is the one nacho, not the plate of nachos.  This is very important that you be hearing me, yes?  Also, dickingface attorney tell me I must insist – no bear in bar.  Is joke.  Do not bring bear.  This is only being funny until bear comes to bar expecting to eat a plate of nachos.  Then no one laughing.

The big news tonight, ASIDE FROM DI GULE WINNING THE LEAGUE… [obnoxious honking sound blares]

…yes, our manager he be noticed by other club, having done all the winning, yes?  [sad trombone sound]

Those dirty shoes at Jönköpings think that they are being very special, in the Superettan even though we all know Superettan is really just Supercrappan, with their professional contracts and Herr Thelin with his ever-so-stylish hair…thinking they will steal our Ottingchoa away from di gule.  [the imperial march from Star Wars plays]

I must tell you, good people Jönköping.  Good hair and professional contracts will only get you so far!!!  They will not buy you the loving of the womens, no!  [the clip of Meg Ryan in the café, from When Harry Met Sally, plays]

So, I say no.  You have left me with no choice, Herr Ottingchoa.  I have put my foot down.  It is down!!!  You will forever be Basque bushpig in my eyeball if you leave!!!  But that is enough about that. [triumphant trumpets blare]

Let us see…what else is going on in the world of the IFK.  Our phone lines are open, if you have questions for your Magnus.  And I have new soundboard with fun noises, see?  [a cacophony of random sounds play in no apparent order, for the next 97 seconds]

Very expensive.  Ok…ok…there is game tomorrow. Prespa must be crushed, of the course.  [squishing sound]

Then…uhh…we play Torns…  Then season over. [sad trombone sound]

No callers yet.  Maybe we wait while eating more nachos.

[The Girl From Ipanema plays softly as Magnus shouts for more nachos and beer.  The sounds of Magnus eating, drinking and harassing the waitresses goes on for much longer than necessary before the podcast abruptly ends.]

[ManUtd1]

I don't talk to myself because I'm crazy.  I do it because I'm awesome.

2019 Season Review

26 matches and...that's it?  We're...done?  Or so it seems.

League champions.  Most goals scored, with the fewest conceded.  The lads even had a banner printed for the final match, proclaiming "MISSION ACCOMPLISHED."  Granted, the codpiece they've asked me to wear is a bit much.  Maybe just this once.

In honor of my final match with di gule.  As much as I've enjoyed this year, I couldn't say no to Jönköpings -- a fully-professional side, underperforming in the Superettan only 2 years after playing in the Allsvenskan.  There's promise in that side, with a wage budget several orders of magnitude higher than what is available here in Malmo.

It also puts me within touching distance of the club I thought I was joining this time last year...yes, I'm still bitter about that.  Thankfully, my lack of attention to detail has gone largely unnoticed and I've not been inclined to call any attention to it...  Seriously, though, Malmo FF vs IFK Malmo FF...who wouldn't get confused?!

But that's behind me.  There's work to be done if we are to battle for promotion next year -- so, once the 4th tier match calendar is complete, I'm off to join up with my new side for the last 3 matches of the 2018 calendar.  No rest for the wicked, eh?  Onwards and upwards.

Goals for 2020: Fight for promotion to the Allsvenskan.

Squad|League Overview|Finances Overview|Income Detail|Expenditures Detail|Transfers

Div. 2 Östra Götaland Fixtures|Svenska Cupen Fixtures

Save Overview

[ManUtd1]

I don't talk to myself because I'm crazy.  I do it because I'm awesome.

October 2019 Mini-Update

I honestly thought it would be harder to leave IFK Malmo.  But the reality is that, given the narrative, this may have been the easiest decision Gaizka will face.  A 4th tier, semi pro side (albeit one with a honking stadium) versus a fully-professional Superettan side that should be competing for promotion?  A side that sits only 9 points off the top of the Superettan?

Clearly, the path to redemption runs through Jönköping.  Mind you, Gaizka will not want to earn a reputation for jumping ship at the first opportunity.  He needs to build something at Jönköpings and I think the pieces of the puzzle are there to make The Green Machine into something big.  (Otherwise, I wouldn't have accepted it...)

Jönköpings play at Stadsparkvallen, an in-game 5.2k capacity (1.5k seated) facility that opened (in its original form) in 1902.  Our training and youth facilities are average, which is a huge step up from IFK Malmo.  On the sentimental side, I've always liked seeing them in my prior Sweden saves, even if I've never managed them.  Should be a good shout.

The immediate goal is promotion, obviously.  Given my prior saves here, I don't expect that to be a huge problem.  The bigger obstacle will be pushing for Europe -- that has to be a goal for Gaizka.  I can see him sticking around here for a few years...

Bottom line -- taking this position was a no-brainer.  Now the hard work begins.

 

 

   

   

[ManUtd1]

Where Magnus failed, I shall succ-- oh.  Man.  

Uhh... Ok, then...

That does it.  You just made the list, Zlatan.

 

[ManUtd1]

A solid start to life here at Jönköpings Södra.  2 wins, 1 draw.  Finishing 7th, 12 points off the top and 7 points off of a promotion playoff spot.  The media predictions had us finishing 2nd, so we're well off the mark -- but with promise for next year.  No reason we cannot do this.  Barring two barren runs over the course of the season, this side would have been in the mix.

  

[BoxToBox]

Promising start, definitely.

[ManUtd1]

When my assman's contract ran out, I had to try again.

#DareToJönköpings

  

[BoxToBox]

Those are not the Zlattributes I expected.