[FM17] If you think you're too small to make a difference you haven’t spent a night with a mosquito

[Keano16]

1 hour ago, BoxToBox said:

Gotta love Nelson, settling down to more sensible tactics, but then runs with "lets give the keeper attacking set pieces".

Nelson wouldn't be Nelson otherwise! 

[Benjoe]

2 hours ago, Keano16 said:

Nelson wouldn't be Nelson otherwise! 

 

Meanwhile we lose points for the first time in the playoffs. We were actually looking good, despite having been ducked after 1 minute played, we came back to lead 2-1 but then a weirdly god-like goal happened and we drew 2-2. 

Look at this insanity. Firstly, the guy who makes the first long ball shoots it with his pivot foot, don't know how, but he did. Then, despite being sandwiched by two of our best headers their next player wins a header and knocks it through to their striker. He barely touches it and it's like shot out of a canon and our keeper is chanceless.

[Benjoe]

Fantastic!

[Benjoe]

Oh god, @Jimbokav1971, it has happened! 

 

[Jimbokav1971]

Haha. 

Now if you can explain to me why your GK can spank in a direct free-kick but your outfield players can't, then I'm all ears. 

[BoxToBox]

3 minutes ago, Jimbokav1971 said:

Haha. 

Now if you can explain to me why your GK can spank in a direct free-kick but your outfield players can't, then I'm all ears. 

Confusion tactics. "What's the keeper doing up th.... oh it's in!"

[Jimbokav1971]

1 minute ago, BoxToBox said:

Confusion tactics. "What's the keeper doing up th.... oh it's in!"

That's part of it because at the very least there is 1 more player to mark so sometimes we see fewer players in a wall than would otherwise be the case and the taker has too much of the goal to aim at. This is not the same because there are either 4 or 5 in the wall, but certainly from slightly wider positions it has an impact.

[Benjoe]

7 minutes ago, Jimbokav1971 said:

Haha. 

Now if you can explain to me why your GK can spank in a direct free-kick but your outfield players can't, then I'm all ears. 

3 minutes ago, BoxToBox said:

Confusion tactics. "What's the keeper doing up th.... oh it's in!"

I have no other suggestions than the one you guys came up with. Looking at my keeper and then the previously assigned taker there is nothing to suggest he'd be better - let alone score in his second match assigned to kick it, when my previous taker hadn't scored in loads. 

 

 

1 minute ago, Jimbokav1971 said:

That's part of it because at the very least there is 1 more player to mark so sometimes we see fewer players in a wall than would otherwise be the case and the taker has too much of the goal to aim at. This is not the same because there are either 4 or 5 in the wall, but certainly from slightly wider positions it has an impact.

Never really thought of it that way, but, theoretically technically, throwing all your players into the box, as well as the FB's that usually stays back, and then having your GK kick the freekick would either make the wall slimmer or leave more players unmarked in the box... This might be something for Nelson to test! The counters might be a bitch, however, but still. Worth a try. Especially seeing as we are in terrific momentum right now. Might as well risk it all on some ridiculous plan.

 

[Benjoe]

We'll see if this breaks our great unbeaten run!

[Jimbokav1971]

@BenjoeI do have a serious suggestion as to why a GK is better than an outfield player at taking free-kicks and rather than clogging up your thread I will just link you to it here if you or anyone else is interested. 

 

[BoxToBox]

12 minutes ago, Jimbokav1971 said:

That's part of it because at the very least there is 1 more player to mark so sometimes we see fewer players in a wall than would otherwise be the case and the taker has too much of the goal to aim at. This is not the same because there are either 4 or 5 in the wall, but certainly from slightly wider positions it has an impact.

Hmm, sounds like the exact opposite of how I used to set up corners in 14, but with the same theory. Have as many players outside the box as possible for the opponents to mark, leaving the box clear for the players I wanted to attack the ball. Confuse the opposing markers.

[Benjoe]

4 minutes ago, Jimbokav1971 said:

@BenjoeI do have a serious suggestion as to why a GK is better than an outfield player at taking free-kicks and rather than clogging up your thread I will just link you to it here if you or anyone else is interested. 

 

I remember reading up on this thread back when we talked about it in your Icelandic thread some time ago. Don't have time to read it now, however, but will gladly do it when I have them time later! 

[Jimbokav1971]

1 minute ago, BoxToBox said:

Hmm, sounds like the exact opposite of how I used to set up corners in 14, but with the same theory. Have as many players outside the box as possible for the opponents to mark, leaving the box clear for the players I wanted to attack the ball.

My defending corner strategy for a while has been based around the idea that the more players I keep forward, then the more players the opposition will keep back to defend against them. 

If I keep 3 forward, (and I do), then that means that they have to keep 3 back marking man for man, but they also always have to have a player "shielding" in front of the 3v3, (which is usually stretched very wide). Add in the GK and the corner taker, (even if there is no short option), and we are already up to 6 players. If we assume that most attacking set-ups will have a "lurker" and we are up to 7, leaving just 4 players to attack the ball at most. 

Who do I have back to defend against the 4? Well I have 3 upfield and 1 lurking, so that leaves the GK and 6 defenders marking their 4 attackers. Sounds good to me. 

[Benjoe]

5 minutes ago, BoxToBox said:

Hmm, sounds like the exact opposite of how I used to set up corners in 14, but with the same theory. Have as many players outside the box as possible for the opponents to mark, leaving the box clear for the players I wanted to attack the ball. Confuse the opposing markers.

 

1 minute ago, Jimbokav1971 said:

My defending corner strategy for a while has been based around the idea that the more players I keep forward, then the more players the opposition will keep back to defend against them. 

If I keep 3 forward, (and I do), then that means that they have to keep 3 back marking man for man, but they also always have to have a player "shielding" in front of the 3v3, (which is usually stretched very wide). Add in the GK and the corner taker, (even if there is no short option), and we are already up to 6 players. If we assume that most attacking set-ups will have a "lurker" and we are up to 7, leaving just 4 players to attack the ball at most. 

Who do I have back to defend against the 4? Well I have 3 upfield and 1 lurking, so that leaves the GK and 6 defenders marking their 4 attackers. Sounds good to me. 

Nelson is getting many new ideas for extreme  clever ways of getting the maximum out of set pieces in the future!

[Benjoe]

@Jimbokav1971 your way of defending corners just happened in the live-match between Fck and Brøndby actually. Brøndby kept 3 players forward on a Fck corner, but Fck only kept 2 players back. The corner was somewhat succesful and Fck actually had a big chance. Would have been interesting to see the counter that could have happened. And also seeing if this will continue throughout the game

[Jimbokav1971]

1 minute ago, Benjoe said:

@Jimbokav1971 your way of defending corners just happened in the live-match between Fck and Brøndby actually. Brøndby kept 3 players forward on a Fck corner, but Fck only kept 2 players back. The corner was somewhat succesful and Fck actually had a big chance. Would have been interesting to see the counter that could have happened. And also seeing if this will continue throughout the game

That's something that I encountered too and the key is to recycle possession after the initial ball is cleared. I like to have someone closing down the corner taker so that if the ball is returned to that side then it's an easy win and the best opportunity to counter, but the "lurker" is also a danger too and he needs looking after. It's sort of playing the percentages again and again. 

[kidthekid]

So Okapi didn't win anything except the meaningless regular season?

Also, good to see the coaching courses paying off.

[Benjoe]

11 hours ago, kidthekid said:

So Okapi didn't win anything except the meaningless regular season?

Also, good to see the coaching courses paying off.

Nope. It doesn't matter pretty much where you finish so long as it's in the top 4. 

Nelson is moving up in the coaching world and with increasing succes it would seem.

[Benjoe]

A spider’s cobweb isn’t only its sleeping spring but also its food trap

Nelson was feeling confident. Their latest form had seen them unbeaten in nine straight games with seven of them being won. Five points clear of second they were sitting comfortably on first. That didn't mean, however, that the board were satisfied. After having had 'Mid-table' expectations for the Kanda ya Pemba they had now altered their expectations and despite only clinching the 4th place that allowed them to fight for the Championship they wanted gold now. If Nelson failed to bring home the trophy he might not have much of a future at Wawi Star and what would his next step then be? For now, that was of no concern, however. Another draw, this time against Okapi after being down 0-2 showed their resilience. The team Nelson managed now was not as unstable and likely to crumble as the Okapi side he managed last season. This time they were tailor-made for succes. 

[Benjoe]

This is so typical. Kamtande has been our best player by far. Scoring 6 goals and assisting twice in 9 playoff matches and now he is out for the remainder of the playoffs as well as David Soka who's been out for a long time now with multiple injuries.. 

[Benjoe]

This was wild. And watching the goals also shows that Nelson needs to rework his set pieces since the two goals that allowed Kizimbani to return to the match were from a corner and a free kick. 

 

[Benjoe]

We get our first defeat in the Playoffs and I am getting slightly nervy ahead of the last 3 games of the season. We have Mafunzo (2nd), KMKM (4th) and Kijichi (3rd) in our last three games so nothing is settled yet. A win against Zinamoto (5th) could have secured the title for us but oh well. We have to do it the hard way then. Sadly, it won't be in this sitting. Maybe tonight, maybe tomorrow. I'm not sure when I have the time, since the end of this season is bound to have some social media stuff happening.  

[Benjoe]

[BoxToBox]

Your board are psychopaths.

[kidthekid]

By the way, I was just drawn against a Zanzibar team in the CAF  champions league. I looked at the cub and they were semi pro. Journalists are expecting a cricket scoreline in our favour, so we'll see. Although their name is not in your league. Which makes me believe that they are now defunct

[Sankalan]

15 hours ago, kidthekid said:

By the way, I was just drawn against a Zanzibar team in the CAF  champions league. I looked at the cub and they were semi pro. Journalists are expecting a cricket scoreline in our favour, so we'll see. Although their name is not in your league. Which makes me believe that they are now defunct

 

A semi-pro cub? Animal Rights want it to turn pro

[Benjoe]

21 hours ago, BoxToBox said:

Your board are psychopaths.

I can only agree. Their confidence should really be higher. They went from being close to giving me a new contract, to being 50/50 on whether to keep me or fire me. Lunacy.

17 hours ago, kidthekid said:

By the way, I was just drawn against a Zanzibar team in the CAF  champions league. I looked at the cub and they were semi pro. Journalists are expecting a cricket scoreline in our favour, so we'll see. Although their name is not in your league. Which makes me believe that they are now defunct

I hope you tear them apart!

But what is their name? There are two leagues, Kanda ya Pemba - the one we play in - and another called Kenga ya Ungaja iirc. The team you met could easily just be a part of the other division but not been good enough to make the playoffs and therefore not figure on my screenshots. 

2 hours ago, Sankalan said:

 

A semi-pro cub? Animal Rights want it to turn pro

Or would they? Wouldn't that just further enslave the poor little cub? #StopChildLabor

[BoxToBox]

13 minutes ago, Benjoe said:

Or would they? Wouldn't that just further enslave the poor little cub? #StopChildLabor

Well, if it went pro, it might get a pre-contract and unionise.

[Benjoe]

2 hours ago, BoxToBox said:

Well, if it went pro, it might get a pre-contract and unionise.

Might, is the key word here. We're talking about Zanzibar here. We don't even do that for our best players.

[Sankalan]

It feeds on bushpigs

[kidthekid]

9 hours ago, Benjoe said:

But what is their name? There are two leagues, Kanda ya Pemba - the one we play in - and another called Kenga ya Ungaja iirc. The team you met could easily just be a part of the other division but not been good enough to make the playoffs and therefore not figure on my screenshots. 

 

Just checked. It's Miembeni

[Benjoe]

18 hours ago, Sankalan said:

It feeds on bushpigs

That can't be good. 

16 hours ago, kidthekid said:

Just checked. It's Miembeni

They're here! Just three points short of Playoffs. 

[Benjoe]

A spider’s cobweb isn’t only its sleeping spring but also its food trap

Nelson and Mumbu walked side by side. They were entering the biggest moment of their careers so far. Having won promotion to the Swaziland Premier League to having to look for new ground and finding it on Zanzibar's glorious beaches resulting in both a firing and a pursuit for gold was quite the journey already. And Nelson had only just started with the first few steps to climb his ambitions matching the height of Kilimanjaro, the greatest mountain in Africa soaring into the sky in the Tanzanian landscape not far from Zanzibar's sand beaches. 

Three matches left.  Against the three teams closest to the first place occupied by Nelson and his Wawi Star team. Nelson was ready and determined. This was it! The chance to elevate their careers into sizzling heights. First up; Mafunzo (2nd) away. This would effectively be a tie-breaker. If they won, it was over. A loss would result in the ground shaking beneath their feet. 

The first 15 minutes against Mafunzo left Mafunzo pressured and following a free kick from goal keeper Lunyamila hitting the crossbar and a corner briefly after posing a threat Wawi Star was chasing the all important goal.

Minutes later and Lunyamila was ready to kick another free kick. This time further out and it would be an in-direct kick aimed at strong headers. The crazy tactics employed by Nelson saw all of his 11 players far up Mafunzo's half ready to overload the box and try to get space for each other to get free from their markers. This would fail tragically and a completely alone Mafunzo winger was left at the middle of the pitch ready to attack the ball cleared to him. 

  

No one could reach him. 1-0 to Mafunzo. 

The game ended following a second half ended with no goals scored. Despite knocking on wood three times there were no luck to be found. Mafunzo had gained in on Wawi Star. Three vital points going the wrong direction. Leaving them vulnerable in the last two games. They couldn't possibly slip up now?  Was Nelson's untraditional and peculiar ways too extreme or would he lift gold at the end? 

 

[argento]

good work as normal!  The twitter stuff still gets me.  

[Miraculix]

If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris. 

[Benjoe]

On 17/5/2017 at 22:49, argento said:

good work as normal!  The twitter stuff still gets me.  

Cheers, man!

15 hours ago, Miraculix said:

If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris. 

But you could still very well be Nelson Mandela Jr!

[Benjoe]

We're fighting to win the Zanzibari Premier League for the first time in club history, and the fans don't care - and our Supporter Spokesperson likes it! 

 

[Benjoe]

Only a fool tests the depth of the river with both feet

Having missed the first game, set and match point Nelson and Mumbu once again entered a match with the possibility of leaving as champions. Nelson's Wawi Star team would meet 4th placed KMKM and last time they met it ended 2-2. Not much to predict from that result. Furthermore, Wawi Star had just lost and Nelson wasn't don't experimenting with set-pieces. Anything could truly happen. Mumbu was also there. Not doing much, but he was there, standing tall and lanky in his bush pig costume. No, it had not been washed since the first time he wore it, and yes, that was an awful long time ago. For safety Nelson had starte wearing nose clips like swimmers. Best money he'd spent his entire life. 

Nelson was walking the pitch preparing his peptalk for the boys in the locker room. 

"..and then you kick them in the throat! Just finish them!"

"..You see him diving? Or even think(!) he dove, you kick him, I don't care where, he just doesn't get up. If you don't I'll kungfupaow kick you in your face! You don't think I can?! WELL I'LL BLOODY SHOW YOU, YOU PIECE OF-"
"Boooooosss!"

Mumbu came stumbling out from the locker room and looked panicking at Nelson, who had lifted his foot from the ground and was ready to execute his 'kungfupaow' kick. 

"It's bad boss. Real bad boss! The boys.. The boys boss!"

"I'll be there in a second, Mumbu, now leave!"

"But boss... the boys.. the boys boss!"
"WHAT. MUMBU!"

"They're crying boss. The boys are crying boss. They're nervous." 

"I got a plan, Mumbu. Go hum for them. I'll be right there."

Mumbu ran off as Nelson stood still with a determined gaze. He knew what would be needed here. 

...

 

[Benjoe]

Only a fool tests the depth of the river with both feet

Nelson asked a supporter if he could lend his phone. The fan recognized Nelson - honestly, who wouldn't - and agreed to do so. Nelson ran  trampled off with the phone as he typed. 

"I'm going to regret this.." He sighed as he posted the tweet. 

 

[Benjoe]

Only a fool tests the depth of the river with both feet

[Benjoe]

He that beats the drum for the mad man to dance is no better than the mad man himself

Terrified Nelson looked behind him. At first he didn't see him, but he noticed a shadowy figure leaned against a three in the dark forest near the stadium. Goosebumps down Nelson's back. Cold sweat in his palms. On his sweater, Moms Spaghetti 'He took a deep breath as he went towards the figure but when he was almost close enough to see the man clearly he pointed next to Nelson.
He looked down and next to his feet was a brown bag containing a bottle of Scottish  potato vodka of the brand "Moyes' Mild Green Liquid" and underneath it the bottle said "Drink Moyes Today, Regrets Are For Tomorrow". 

Nelson's entire corpus shivered as he grabbed the bag and rushed to the locker room. He forced the players to lubricate each other in the lotion as they downed mouthful of Moyes' liquid. 

With his players lotioned up and sharing a taste of Moyes they were giving the pep talk Nelson had prepared and was sent unto the pitch. 

[Benjoe]

He that beats the drum for the mad man to dance is no better than the mad man himself

Whatever Moyes had in his potato vodka other than potato it seemed to work. Or maybe it was the eucalyptus scented lotion. Either way, after just four minutes Wawi Star were in the lead and they didn't look back. 

After half an hour played Wawi keeper, Lunyamila, slammed a free kick at the KMKM keeper but the ball was slippery from all the lotion that'd been rubbed off on it through the game and the ball slipped out of the keeper's hands and it was 2-0.

Second half got underway and soon enough it was 3-0 and the Stars were aligned for a Wawi Championship party. 

In the 81st minute Lunyamila had the chance to score his second goal of the game, his third in his Wawi Star career. 

He buried it. 4-0 and it was all over soon after. 

Nelson and Mumbu were cheering and hugging. Mumbu ran around the pitch wearing his costume. Nelson had plans of making him the mascot of the team, and proposing Mumbu a very small amount of money for the job - but he would have to shower, however. 

In the midst of the cheering and celebrating Nelson spotted the shadow behind the threes again. A slow clapping, unnerving presence. 

What had Nelson done..

[Benjoe]

The Sound of Silence

Nelson had followed the directions sent by an unknown number. They had let him back into the part of the town he rarely ventured to.

Poor people drowned the streets. They were selling useless rubbish or asking for handouts. Sometimes both. Nelson despised it. He felt out of place as he wandered through the dark streets and alleys in his beige suit.

He slipped as he spotted a sign above a little shop saying, "Feel the raw naked Moyes off the road". Was this a real sign or was his mind playing a trick on him?

He followed the direction of the sign but he felt at unease. The alley got darker, and darker. Slowly nearing a big, black door that was clearly new.

"Knock for the taste of Moyes" was written with small white letters.

Nelson knew it was a bad decision to knock, and he also knew that he had to. 

*Knock knock knock* The knocks left echoes in the silent alley. The suspense was killing Nelson.

A little slid in the door was opened, "It says the password."

Nelson looked confused at the door. "I.. I don't know the password."

"Aye, aye it does indaid." A note was slipped through the slid. "It reads the note, aye."

"It surrenders itself to Moyes..?" 

"Good boy."

The door opened and Nelson nervously entered the door.. 

[ManUtd1]

Congrats on the title!  I can't decide if your keeper is the second coming of Chilavert, or if your opposition keepers are just that awful!

I need to find an English-Scottish translator, and bring Moyes back into the fold of my save 

[Benjoe]

Only a fool tests the depth of the river with both feet

Nelson had not returned when the last game of the season was played.

Mumbu had searched for him anywhere he could imagine, but this time out of luck. The game was going to be played without Nelson and Mumbu present. The assistant gladly took over and saw his big chance. 

He made no changes to the team other than putting the returned star-duo David Soka and Amir Kamtande into the lineup and they trampled Kijichi with a 2-0 win as Kijichi dropped to 5th. Lunyamila scored on another penalty. 

Seeing as neither Nelson or Mumbu were there and the team still won in the hands of the assistant the board were quick and eager to sign the assistant to a managerial role for the next season.

Nelson didn't know, but he was effectively being fired after a near perfect season where he brought succes to a team no-one expected to go near these heights. They would now be joining the African Champions League next year - Wawi Star and their new manager, that is, not Nelson. He was probably tied up in some sleazy dungeon that very moment. 

Since the club didn't want to have it appear as if they were firing their succesful coach (which was what they were doing) they forged a letter of resignation from Nelson. False signature and all that. Now he had officially resigned, without even knowing.

"Congrats on the title, go find somewhere else to manage, you big lump!" - Letter to Nelson from the board.

[Benjoe]

11 minutes ago, ManUtd1 said:

Congrats on the title!  I can't decide if your keeper is the second coming of Chilavert, or if your opposition keepers are just that awful!

I need to find an English-Scottish translator, and bring Moyes back into the fold of my save 

Cheers man! But sadly this is all over now for Nelson. I'm mostly leaning towards the latter!  

I say do it. Although I'm not entirely sure you need any translator. I just try to make it sound as silly as possible. I think I hit it pretty well though. 

[ManUtd1]

You definitely nailed it!  

Poor Nelson. #WhatWouldJagielkaDo

[Benjoe]

29 minutes ago, ManUtd1 said:

You definitely nailed it!  

Poor Nelson. #WhatWouldJagielkaDo

Honor to hear from thé, the Scottishshs manager! 

What does sodding Jagielka ever do!?

[ManUtd1]

1 hour ago, Benjoe said:

Honor to hear from thé, the Scottishshs manager! 

What does sodding Jagielka ever do!?

Isn't that the question of the year? 😮

[Keano16]

Success at all and any cost! Congrats on the title, what next? Another African nation?