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WELCOME TO SPORTS.tv NEWS

Hosted by Dan White

Welcome back to SPORTS.tv NEWS – the only channel following English football this season. Here is a look forward to what you can expect from us in September:

PREMIER LEAGUE: There are 3 weekends of Premier League action to update you on as we see which teams are going to set the early pace.

CHAMPIONSHIP: There are 4 rounds of Championship action this month as the big five teams look to jostle their way into the early season promotion shake-up.

LEAGUE CUP 3rd ROUND: All the excitement from the 3rd Round of the League Cup including live and exclusive coverage of NORTHERN EXTREME vs. BOREHAM BADGERS as well as the rest of the games in a SPORTS.tv SPECIAL. We’ll also have news of the draw for Round 4.

CHAMPIONS LEAGUE: News on the first two games in the Group Stages of the competition.

UEFA CUP: News on the Round 1 ties that are played over two legs this month. News of the Group Stage draw to follow as well.

MAKE SURE YOU DON’T MISS THE ACTION ONLY ON SPORTS.tv THIS SEPTEMBER!!!

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WELCOME TO SPORTS.tv NEWS

Hosted by Dan White, Saturday 13th September 2008

PREMIER LEAGUE RESULTS

Boreham Badgers 4-0 Isle of Man Metros

Del Piero 3, McCarthy

Blackthorn Athletic 2-2 Didsbury Dynamoes

Zamora 2 (1p); Xavi, Ebanks-Blake (p)

Brennan United 3-0 Essex Eagles

Camoranesi, Meite, Pandev; BALOTELLI SENT OFF

Discworld 1-1 Gnome’ania United

Elmander; Hulk

New Bloc 2-0 Inland Valley Hawks

Pato, Mascherano

Saffron United 1-1 Steel Panthers

McFadden; Robinho

Sheffield Wednesday 1-0 Tibbolini

Clarke

Queensland Origin 3-1 Essendon

Arteta 2 (1p), Petrov; Malbranque

Coedpoeth United 3-2 Northern Extreme

Zhirkov, Santa Cruz, Johnson; Torres, Raul Tamudo

London Titans 1-0 Welsh Wizards

Lawrence, ASENJO SENT OFF

An embarrassing result for Tibbolini who become the first team to drop points and lose to Sheffield Wednesday who really should be cannon fodder for the teams in this division this season. Blackthorn Athletic get their first points but are denied victory by a late Ebanks-Blake penalty for Didsbury whilst Saffron United leave it late against Steel Panthers as McFadden scores in injury time. Northern Extreme’s impressive start is ended by Coedpoeth United.

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WELCOME TO SPORTS.tv NEWS

Hosted by Dan White, Saturday 13th September 2008

CHAMPIONSHIP RESULTS

Joga Bonitos Juniors 2-0 Bristol City

Higuain, Davies

Melbourne 4-0 Charlton Athletic

Maxi Rodriguez 2, Gilardino 2

Preston North End 1-2 Fanghunters

van Nistelrooy 2

VfB Rammstein 1-1 Ipswich Town

van Persie

Canadian Mighty Squirrels 4-1 Barnsley

Ambrosini, Adebayor, Cole, Cuellar

VfB Rammstein become the first team to drop points against a team other than the T2B five with their home draw with Ipswich. League leaders Joga Bonitos Juniors continue their 100% start with victory over Bristol City.

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Hosted by Dan White, Tuesday 16th September 2008

CHAMPIONSHIP RESULTS

Barnsley 0-3 Melbourne

Sergio Aguero 2, Maxi Rodriguez

Blackpool 1-3 Joga Bonitos Juniors

Higuain, Suazo, Davies

Fanghunters 4-0 Southampton

Ronaldo, Gerrard, Agbonlahor, Kaka

Nottingham Forest 1-1 VfB Rammstein

Lita

Swansea City 0-0 Canadian Mighty Squirrels

More dropped points for VfB Rammstein as they need a late leveller from Leroy Lita to save a point at the City Ground. A trip to the Liberty Stadium sees the Squirrels fail to score and win against Swansea but it’s good news for Melbourne and Joga Bonitos Juniors who continue their impressive starts. Fanghunters also enjoy a healthy win with the ominous trio of Ronaldo, Gerrard and Kaka all scoring for the Predators against Southampton.

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Hosted by Dan White, Wednesday 17th September 2008

CHAMPIONS LEAGUE GROUP STAGE RESULTS

GROUP A:

Didsbury Dynamoes 2-1 Olympique de Marseille

Caicedo, Ebanks-Blake, FIGUEROA SENT OFF

GROUP C:

Isle of Man Metros 4-1 Bordeaux

Toni 4, STEINSSON SENT OFF

GROUP E:

Slavia Prague 0-2 Discworld

Villa 2

GROUP H:

Schalke 2-1 Queensland Origin

Trezeguet

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Hosted by Dan White, Thursday 18th September 2008

UEFA CUP ROUND 1 (1st LEG) RESULTS

AAB Aahlborg 0-4 Tibbolini

Eto’o, Cousin 3, RADU SENT OFF

Dinamo Zagreb 0-0 Essex Eagles

FC Moscow 1-1 Blackthorn Athletic

Aliardiere

London Titans 5-0 Bellinzona

Yakubu 2, Anelka 2, Vucinic

Salzburg 0-2 Saffron United

Ribery, McFadden

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Hosted by Dan White, Saturday 20th September 2008

PREMIER LEAGUE RESULTS

Didsbury Dynamoes 0-0 Sheffield Wednesday

Essendon 0-2 New Bloc

Henry 2

Gnome’ania United 3-1 Boreham Badgers

Deco, Hulk, Saha; Kranjcar, SAMBA SENT OFF

Isle of Man Metros 1-2 Welsh Wizards

Tuncay; Kuyt 2 (2p)

Northern Extreme 5-0 Discworld

Fabiano 3, Pennant og, Lampard, LAMPARD SENT OFF

Tibbolini 2-0 Brennan United

de Jong, Alves

Essex Eagles 1-1 Coedpoeth United

Hamsik; Rooney

Inland Valley Hawks 2-1 Blackthorn Athletic

Emerton, Modric; Zamora (p)

Saffron United 3-0 London Titans

Ballack (p), McFadden 2

Steel Panthers 6-0 Queensland Origin

Barry 2 (1p), Senna, Downing 3

Sheffield Wednesday secure another point, this time at Didsbury, whilst New Bloc lead the way at the top of the Premier League after a win over Essendon. Northern Extreme return to form with a bang with a 5-0 thrashing of Discworld whilst Blackthorn remain rooted to the foot of the table after a defeat at Inland Valley. A 6-0 hammering at Steel Panthers completes a miserable week for Queensland who were defeated in the Champions League as well whilst memories of London Titan’s 5-0 win in Europe are a distant memory after a poor performance against Saffron United.

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WELCOME TO SPORTS.tv NEWS

Hosted by Dan White, Saturday 20th September 2008

CHAMPIONSHIP RESULTS

Canadian Mighty Squirrels 3-0 Bristol City

Adebayor, Keane 2

Cardiff City 1-1 Fanghunters

Agbonlahor

Joga Bonitos Juniors 1-0 Ipswich Town

Suazo

Melbourne 1-0 Swansea City

Cahill

VfB Rammstein 0-0 Plymouth Argyle

A third draw in a row for VfB Rammstein who are losing touch with the leaders Joga Bonitos Juniors as a result. Joga Juniors 100% record continues – just – after a 1-0 home win over Ipswich but Fanghunters will be disappointed to have only drawn at Cardiff. Squirrels get back on track with a comfortable win whilst Melbourne are still looking strong after another win over Swansea.

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Hey GCB, great updates as usual, my only complaint is that Essendon has had 2 losses in a row, can you give them some points in the next update?

Also, a suggestion for your updates, when you post the league tables, you could also post the league player stats screen, which shows at a glance which players are doing well in the league? Just a suggestion.

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Panthers Record First Premier League Win

After four attempts, Steel Panthers have registered their first win of the Premier League season, a 6-0 demolition of Queensland Origin. This is a welcome diversion from an unsavoury incident that allegedly occurred last week involving chairman Michael Starr, half a kilo of cocaine, six Thai hookers and a blow-up sheep. Starr was bundled into a waiting police van shouting "It's chalk dust man, I was teaching those babes algebra!".

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WELCOME TO SPORTS.tv NEWS

Hosted by Dan White, Tuesday 24th September 2008

IT’S TIME FOR THE 3rd ROUND OF THE LEAGUE CUP!

DIDSBURY DYNAMOES vs. ESSEX EAGLES

An even game that could have gone either way was settled by a first-half strike from XAVI of Didsbury. The Dynamoes hung on in the second half and their job was made even more difficult in the second half when Pascal Chimbonda was sent off but they hung on to make Round 4.

MELBOURNE vs. INLAND VALLEY HAWKS

The Championship club were in red-hot form in the league so it was a tough game for the Hawks to draw in Round 3. The first half proved just how difficult it would be as SESSEGNON, AGUERO and RONALDINHO all struck for Melbourne to fire them into a 3-0 lead at half time. Whatever was said in the Hawks dressing room at half time was effective as three goals in eleven crazy minutes saw them level by the hour: SCHOLES, MODRIC and MILITO making it 3-3. The game then drifted to extra time and penalties with Modric and Chivu missing for the Hawks and allowing Tugay to score the winning penalty and send Melbourne into Round 4.

WATFORD vs. WELSH WIZARDS

A first half strike from David Silva seemed to have the Wizards in the box seat at Vicarage Road but a goal five minutes into the second half from Igor Budan levelled the tie. In the end, the Wizards deservedly won through with two goals from ARSHAVIN and KUYT securing a 3-1 win.

CANADIAN MIGHTY SQUIRRELS vs. ISLE OF MAN METROS

Another Championship side hoping to defeat a Premiership side were Canadian Mighty Squirrels as they faced the Metros. A first half of little chances gave way to an unbelievable five minutes just after half time as ADEBAYOR, ESSIEN and ESSIEN again fired the Squirrels into an unassailable 3-0 lead. The Squirrels march into Round 4.

NEW BLOC vs. DERBY COUNTY

Flying high in the Premier League, New Bloc were hoping to comfortably make their way into Round 4 against Championship Derby. First half goals from BENTLEY and DEFOE eased the nerves and a third goal from BOUBA DIOP sealed their place in Round 4.

BLACKPOOL vs. STEEL PANTHERS

After their weekend hammering of Queensland, the Steel found it more difficult against the Seasiders at Bloomfield Road. In a tight contest, a single goal from BELHADJ secured a place in Round 4 for the Premiership side.

VfB RAMMSTEIN vs. QUEENSLAND ORIGIN

Two clubs out of form met at Stadion des Groβen as draw specialists in the Championship, Rammstein, met Queensland who had had a disastrous week in the Champions League and Premiership. Things didn’t get no better for the Origin either as goals from PALACIOS and KEIRRISON gave Rammstein a 2-0 half time lead and a further strike from JENAS saw another Premiership team crash out. Even the late sending off of Keirrison couldn’t deny Rammstein a place in Round 4.

BRISTOL CITY vs. LONDON TITANS

This tie at Ashton Gate was over by half time as GIGGS first minute goal and strikes from VAN DER VAART and VUCINIC gave Titans a 3-goal lead over the Robins. UCHE pulled one back in the second half for City but it was never likely to be enough to see a comeback and Titans are into Round 4.

GNOME’ANIA UNITED vs. ESSENDON

A tight contest was settled by two quickfire second half goals for the Gnomes. First of all, CAMBIASSON made it 1-0 before SAHA added a second six minutes later to send Gnome’ania into Round 4 at Essendon’s expense.

JOGA BONITOS JUNIORS vs. SAFFRON UNITED

It hadn’t been a good evening for Premiership sides facing Championship T2B sides away and it was even worse for Saffron United. Saffron were reduced to ten men on 13 minutes as Savio was sent off and they did well to make it to half time at 0-0. After that, there was no stopping Joga Juniors as two goals from KEVIN DAVIES and strikes from SIMAO and GIOVINCO sent them into Round 4 with a 4-0 win.

TIBBOLINI vs. COEDPOETH UNITED

Two first half goals gave Tibbolini a superb chance to progress with strikes from MURPHY and COUSIN enough to send them in at the break 2-0 up. However, an early second half goal from LUCHO GONZALEZ and a red card – his second in as many matches – for Stefan Radu saw Tibbolini fighting for their lives. However, they held on to secure a place in Round 4.

COVENTRY CITY vs. BRENNAN UNITED

After knocking out Premiership Blackthorn Athletic in Round 2, the Sky Blues couldn’t be taken lightly and Brennan United were forced to battle in a tough game as they scraped into Round 4. A second half goal from GORAN PANDEV was enough for a 1-0 win.

DISCWORLD vs. IPSWICH TOWN

Discworld were up against it with twenty minutes remaining as a JON STEAD goal had the Tractor Boys of Ipswich in front at Ankh-Morpork. However, JOHAN DJOUROU rescued the Disks with an equaliser and forced the game into extra time and penalties. Five out of five were scored by Discworld to secure their passage into Round 4.

CARDIFF CITY 2-1 PRESTON NORTH END

FANGHUNTERS vs. CRYSTAL PALACE

Goals from ASHLEY YOUNG and STEVEN GERRARD were enough to make it five out of five Championship T2B clubs into Round 4 as Fanghunters overcame Palace with relative ease.

ROUND 4 DRAW

Tibbolini vs. Canadian Mighty Squirrels

Didsbury Dynamoes vs. New Bloc

Joga Bonitos Juniors vs. Brennan United

Gnome’ania United vs. Discworld

Cardiff City vs. Welsh Wizards

Northern Extreme/Boreham Badgers vs. Melbourne

London Titans vs. Steel Panthers

VfB Rammstein vs. Fanghunters

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Hey GCB, great updates as usual, my only complaint is that Essendon has had 2 losses in a row, can you give them some points in the next update?

Also, a suggestion for your updates, when you post the league tables, you could also post the league player stats screen, which shows at a glance which players are doing well in the league? Just a suggestion.

I'll try and remember. Cheers.

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The Gnomes delighted with the Cup win!

"After a slow but steady start to Premier League, League Cup 3rd Round fixtures showed us a solid display by the Gnomes against the Bombers in Arcane Arena. A good display was on the pitch but a 6-min-packed action by Cambiasso and Saha secured Gnome'ania United the win. Now, in League Cup 4th Round, they are to face Discworld, known affectionately as the Discs, yet again at Arcane Arena. Their last, and the first, game in Premier League at away to the Discs ended in a 1-1 draw, goals coming from Elmander for Discworld and Hulk for Gnome'ania United."

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Great work so far GCB can't wait for the next round of the cup - as I think we now have a chance of winning the thing

Current coral odds

League cup outright;

Welsh Wizards - 5/2

Northern Extreme - 5/1

New Bloc - 11/2

Tibbolini, Discworld & Brennan -6/1

London Titans - 7/1

Didsbury & Steel Panthers - 8/1

Gnome’ania United - 17/2

Boreham Badgers, VFB Ramstein & Fanghunters- 9/1

CM Squirrels & Joga Jrs - 10/1

Melbourne - 12/1

Cardiff - 75/2

The Daily mirror recommened bet

well its hard to argue against the favourites but a great shout are the T2B sides from the championship, as most sides are quite even, bets such as Melbourne at 12/1, great side and could end up playing a relegation placed side in their next cup game, they are in great form in both league and cup. And with these odds your £20 goes a long way, with a potiential return of £260.

Other great bets include Fanghunter - with the greatest midfield out of the T2B sides, if they are on their day they could and should beat anyone.

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WHERE IS CASSANO?

Rumours are sweeping round Northern Extreme fans as to the whereabouts of Italian Centre Forward Antonio Cassano. Pre-season had seen both Kodaly McMaster and Chairman Kerry Cash hail the arrival of the striker as one of the highlights of The Borealis signings spree.

With a squad of no less than 36 it is feared that Cassano has dropped down the pecking order and now finds himself languishing in the reserves.

Another theory is that with a squad of that size McMaster cant keep track of all his stars and as a consequence has lost Cassano and has had to hire a private detective to help him find the elusive star.

We asked Fernando Torres, Where Is Cassano?

"Brrrrr, it was really weird, he just said

"I am just going outside and may be some time"

Havent seen him since. Weird."

If you spot the Cassano text us with details.

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It is rumoured that 'missing' player Antonio Cassano was last night arrested by police after attacking Mrs McMaster; wife of his manager, Kodaly.

It is now believed that the club have given him a huge fine, and a pat on the back from his manager; who is rumoured to have paid him to do it.

Other gossip now suggest Torres might pay him but this time for his mom!

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With so much firepower upfront, its no wonder we're scoring so much, but as suspected, we're pretty weak in defence. Hopefully our "score one more than you" attitude will pay dividends. Some decent signings in the back have made thing better and hopefully they'll develop chemistry soon.

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CASSANO RUMOURS GROWING

The Management at Northern Extreme FC have moved to dispel growing rumours that Italian star Antonio Cassano is in police custody following an alleged attack on Mrs McMaster.

Manager Kodaly McMaster had this to say

"There is no truth Cassano attacked my wife and i had paid him to do it. I mean come on do ya think the wife is going to gie me any money in the first place to pay him to pull off what the rumours are suggesting"

Chairman Kerry Cash is so concerned about Cassano's whereabouts he has gone to the extraordinary length of having the Italian star's photo plastered on to milk cartons.

"Its a mystery... we were so looking forward to him playing - and he's just disappeared. We hope he is safe and will turn up soon"

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Cassano; forget the money, abuse is fun

after manager Kodaly McMaster spoke today, speculation that although he was telling the truth, he was hiding the fact that he was going to pay the player to attack his wife; yet the player rejected the money with what one witness states; 'I don't want your money, i want to beat your wife'

that afternoon she was abused by Antonio Cassano; and when Kodaly found out about this incident he knew he'd gone to far and is believe to have paid off chairman Kerry 'I've got alota' Cash to make sure Cassano dissapearred!

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