The FMS Musical v2.

I have wanted to do one of these for awhile, and after getting the okay from El, I decided to go for it. As was the same with his, it's just intended as some light fun. It is very loosely based on a game I have specially for this. Enjoy!

*****

Chapter 1 - Scene 1.1 – This indecision is bugging me...

Starring;

• Terk
  
• tenthreeleader
  

(scene opens with Terk and tenthreeleader discussing Terk’s future as the FMS team manager. Both are sat drinking whiskey, preferably of the Jack Daniels sort.)

Terk: I just think that my time is up now. I’ve been here a long time, I’ve done myself proud.

tenthreeleader: But it just wouldn’t be the same without you. Who could possibly help me tame the crowd?

Terk: We will find someone. I just haven’t decided yet. I’m still in two minds.

tenthreeleader: There will certainly be an increase in forum crimes.

Terk: I know you can babysit it. You’re American, you’re built of steel.

tenthreeleader: You’ll have to decide. I’ll still need someone else to help me turn the FMS wheel.

Terk: I know, I know. I need to make my mind up.

(to the tune of Should I Stay Or Should I Go? by The Clash – Terk and tenthreeleader singing)

Tenthree I’ve got to let you know,

Should I stay or should I go?

If you say that FMS is always mine,

I’ll stay here til the end of time,

So I’ve got to let you know,

Should I stay or should I go?

It’s always leave, leave, leave,

You’re happy when we’re on our knees,

One day you quit, the next you’re back,

I think it needs a change of tact,

Well come on and let me know,

Do you stay or do you go?

Should I stay or should I go now?

Should I stay or leave FMS now?

If I go there will be trouble,

And if I stay there will be double,

So do I stay or do I go?

This indecision’s bugging me,

Esta indecision me molesta,

If you don’t need me, set me free,

Si no me quieres, librame,

Exactly who should I be?

Digame quien tengo sir,

tenthreeleader: So you got to let me know... (pours himself another whiskey and frowns)

(Terk looks ruefully into the wind) Terk: I know, I know. Do I stay or do I go?

Lovely stuff.

This is almost as good as Elrithal's, gav. Can't wait to see where this goes.

I didn't know you could sing. I mean, I know I can ..

Haha! If only I could appear as a singing street urchin, my life would be complete!

Fantastic stuff!

Thanks for the feedback guys. Hope you continue to enjoy this musical filled bonanza of fun.

*****

Chapter 1 – Scene 1.2 – FMS’s worst kept secret...

Starring;

• viperk1
  
• Terk
  
• m1234566778
  

(The lights dim as a door appears, the words SCUNTHORPE UNITED etched onto them, before being scribbled out with purple crayon. The words FMS have replaced it, made with sticky on labels and glitter.)

Terk: I know it in my heart, it is time to leave. I don’t have the same hold anymore... (the crowd aww’s Terk)

Terk: Someone else must step in, take the role. I’ll stick around, I love you all to the core.

(A flash of lightning and then a whimperous sound creaks out across the room) m1234566778: I would love to have that role. I’m loved around here for my excellent demeanour and conduct, please let me.

Terk: I must say no, I’d hate for them to have to kill thee. (the crowd laughs)

Terk: And anyway, I have my man.

m1234566778: No surprise, I think we all knew. It should have been my nan.

viperk1: That is a little harsh, m. I’m sure he will do great.

m1234566778: They should give it to you or me. I’m sure it’s fate.

(to the tune of

Ooh, I bet you’re wonderin’ how I knew

‘Bout your plans to make Gav mod

He won’t be as good as the guy before

Between the rest of us guys,

You know we love Terk more,

It took me by surpriseeee I must say,

When we found out just today,

Dontcha know that we heard it through the grapevine,

Not much longer would you be ours,

Oohhhhh we heard it through the grapevine,

Ohhhhhh I’m just about to loseee my mind,

Why can’t viper be mod?

Honey, honey yeahhhh

(Heard it through the grapevine,)

(I could have remained your baby, ooh, ooh, ohh,)

I know a boy ain’t supposed to cry,

But these tears I can’t hold inside,

Losin’ you would end FMS you see,

Cause you mean that much to us,

You could have told me yourself,

Of your plans to give it to someone else,

Instead we heard it through the grapevine,

Not much longer would you be ours.

Terk: Thank you for validating my point.

Easily tops Glee.

I have almost died from laughing after reading that. Well bloody done gav

Easily tops Glee.

That doesn't take much doing (Wheres the wink smiley gone I can't see it )

it still exists, but is incredibly difficult to see

This is awesome, Gav. As per fudging usual

This is absolutely brilliant!

KUTGW

Thanks for the support fellas. Here is a quick one I drew up earlier as I felt it was a great piece of info from the game to utilise for a sing along.

*****

Chapter 1 – Scene 1.3 – An injury to the Spaniard....

Starring;

• Dalbeider

• WLKRAS

• The Physio

(opens with the physio room table shown, Dalbeider planted upon it. WLKRAS is stood at his side, comforting his midfield team mate.)

Dalbeider: I can’t believe I got injured in just our first session.

WLKRAS: I should go out and break docklanders; it wouldn’t be a tough mission.

Dalbeider: He’s young, I can be sure he didn’t mean it.

WLKRAS: Who is going to run midfield with me? Docks has ruined our chances of a first game partnership, the git.

Dalbeider: I might be back by then. The physio is doing a grand job.

WLKRAS: I sincerely hope so. He’s still an utter, utter n...

Dalbeider: Be calm, friend. We will rule that team when I return.

The Physio: I wish he’d stop moaning, I know he will survive....

(to the tune of I Will Survive by Gloria Gaynor – Dalbeider singing)

At first I was afraid, I was petrified,

Kept thinking, I couldn’t live without football by my side,

But then I spent so many hours thinking how docks took me out,

But I’ll grown strong,

And I’ll learn to come back strong,

And so I’ll be back,

From the treatment table,

You just walked in to see me here with that sad look upon my face,

We should have changed that stupid lock,

We should have made you go away,

If I’d have known for just one second you’d be back to cripple me,

Go on now go, walk out the door,

Just turn around now,

Cause you’re not welcome anymore,

Weren’t you the one who tried to hurt me with your foul?

You think I’d crumble?

You think I’d lay down and retire?

Oh no not I.

WLKRAS: When you put it like that, Dalbe, I totally agree.

Dalbeider: I will be back. I will survive. It’s only a hurt knee.

Ooh, I make an appearance

Good stuff this, Gav

Brilliant mate.....cant stop laughing

I always knew WLKRAS had something against me!

I always knew WLKRAS had something against me!

You can't prove anything

Awesome . Oh, and WLKRAS? You have my permission, go wild with docks .

This just proves how good a writer you are Gav - very impressed and hoping this continues!

Liking it, Gav.

Thanks alot again guys. I'm really glad you are enjoying it. Thanks for the kind words on my writing.

*****

Chapter 1 - Scene 1.4 – It’s Just Us Now...

Starring;

• viperk1
  
• Docklanders
  

(the scene opens with the pair sat in the club bar, having an Appletini.)

viperk1: Where is everyone?

docklanders: Maybe they’ve gone.

viperk1: (a frown envelopes his face) It’s just not fair. People are always mean to us.

docklanders: You can't pass a ball though, so why all the fuss?

viperk1: Shut up, you cow.

docklanders: Don't be mean, it’s just the two of us now...

(to the tune of

Just the two of us, ooooh yahh

Just the two of us,

(Just the two of us)

Just the two of us,

(Just the two of us)

Just the two of us,

(Just the two of us)

Just the two of us,

(Just the two of us)

From the first time the manager placed you by my side

I knew I'd see red before I'd let you meet harm

Although questions arose in my mind, would I be man enough?

Against Hull, choose right and be standing up

From the stadium that first night

Took an hour just to get the passing right

Caleb Folan running all fast, got me kinda upset

Got the ball safe, played you right by the net

That game I don't think one shot I hit

Was even on target, but so be it

Touched your head gently, felt my heart melt

Cause I know I loved your play more than life itself

Then to my knees, and I begged the Lord please

Let me take the freekick, It’s all I need

Love, knowledge, discipline too

I pledge my freekick just for you

Just the two of us, we can score it if we pass

Just the two of us, (Just the two of us)

Just the two of us, missing freekicks via the sky

Just the two of us, you and I

docklanders: Oh, it doesn't matter now. BenArsenal has just turned up.

Hahaha. Literally in tears here at work!

For the original and best version of that song, mash this link.

But still funny, Gav!

docklanders: Oh, it doesn't matter now. BenArsenal has just turned up.

Gasp!

Sorry to ruin the party.

Gav, such awesomeness

Oh, and appletini's ftw

Thanks again guys, glad you're all enjoying it.

*****

Chapter 1 – Scene 1.5 – A celebration for the friendly win....

Starring;

• Viperk1

• BenArsenal

• Salkster2102

(after the friendly victory over Hull, Gav had taken his team out for their first night on the town. In bonny Scunthorpe.)

BenArsenal: I like this drink. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy.

viperk1: It’s called a ‘Bouncing Banana Blast’.

salkster2102: Sounds stupid. Get yourself a beer, and drink it goddamn fast.

viperk1: I don’t want beer. (the crowd hiss at viper) Oooh, look at that girl.

BenArsenal: Go talk to her. Give it a whirl.

salkster2102: Yeah, go do it. Your Banana Blast is offending me.

viperk1: Okay, okay. I’ll offer her a cup of tea.

BenArsenal: Go for it. But don’t come over here crying if she laughs you off. You could always ask her for a kiss.

viperk1: But I’ve never kissed a girl...

(to the tune of

This was never the way I planned,

Not my intention,

I got so brave, tea in hand,

Lost my direction,

It’s not what, I’m used to,

Just wanna make you tea,

I’m curious, for you,

Caught, my attention,

I kissed the girl and I liked it,

The taste of her cherry Tetley Tea,

I kissed the girl just to try it,

I hope my Aslan don’t mind it,

It felt so good, it felt so nice,

It means I’m in love with her,

I kissed the girl and I liked it,

I liked it,

No I don’t even know your name,

Can, we get married?

BenArsenal: That Banana Blast has gone straight to his head.

Poor ol' viper!

Highly amusing Gavina.

Bouncing Banana Blast. Sounds like my kind of drink.

Hilarious as always.

Haa, the Aslan reference, I like it great stuff Gav, funniest thing I've read in ages

Aslan will always hold a special place in viper's heart <3

*****

Chapter 1 – Scene 1.6 – The best goal in the world?

Starring;

• WLKRAS

• Manxie_Ash

(the friendly against Juventus is perilously placed on the edge, a 1-1 scoreline with four minutes to go. Our two heroes are through on goal, placing them in a dilemma.)

WLKRAS: What on earth do we do?

Manxie_Ash: I don’t know, bear with me a minute. I can see Buffon coming to tear us in two.

WLKRAS: Then let’s make our minds up! Chip it up, I’ll smash it in!

Manxie_Ash: Okay! This goal will definitely need remembering...

(to the tune of

This was the greatest and best goal in the world... Tribute.

Long time ago me and my teammate WLKRAS here,

we was bursting down a long and lonesome pitch,

All of a sudden, there lurked a shiny Buffon... in the middle... of our path.

And he said:

"Score the best goal in the world, or I'll eat your career."

Well me and WLKRAS, we looked at each other,

and we each said... "Okay."

And we did the first thing that came to our heads,

Just so happened to be,

The Best Goal in the World, it was The Best Goal in the World.

Look into our eyes and it's easy to see,

One and one make two, two and one make three,

It was destiny.

Once every hundred-thousand minutes or so,

When the sun will shine and the moon will glow

And the grass won’t grow...

Needless to say, Buffon was stunned.

Whip-crack went his whippy ego,

And the Buffon was done.

He asked us: "(snort) Be you wonderkids?"

And we said, "Nay. We’re FMS."

GOAL!

Ahhh, ahhh, ahhh-ah-ah,

Ohhh, whoah, ah-whoah-oh!

This is not The Greatest Goal in the World, no.

This is just a tribute.

Couldn't repeat The Greatest Goal in the World, no, no.

This is a tribute, oh, to The Greatest Goal in the World,

All right! It was The Greatest Goal in the World,

All right! It was the best muthafudgin' goal the greatest goal in the world.

And the peculiar thing is this my teammates:

the goal we scored on that fateful night it didn't actually look

anything like this goal.

This is just a tribute! You gotta believe us!

And I wish you were there! Just a matter of opinion.

Ah, ****! Good God, Buffon lovin',

So surprised to find you can't stop it.

All right! All right!

WLKRAS: What a god damn goal that was. Shame no-one will remember it like we will.

(the crowd aww’s before asking what goal they were actually singing about.)

ahahahahahahahahaahaha

This is probably my favourite thing ever.

This. Is. Immense.

Well done, gav. That was extremely brilliant.

Every time I see a new post in this thread, I hope it's a response to a post of yours that I haven't read yet. It is a joy to read.

This is fantastic

That last song just reeks of awesomeness!

Gav

You are just a God. Every update never disappoints and i'm laughing the whole way through. KUTGW .

Brilliant as usual Gav, cant wait for more

Thanks so much guys. Really happy with how this is being taken by people. A god, docks? I'd like to think so

*****

Chapter 1 – Scene 1.7 – Trouble in striking paradise...

Starring;

• Stoehrst

• Salkster2102

(The two FMS strikers playing up front in the team’s third pre-season friendly, are arguing about the lack of communication between the pair. The crowd is on edge as they finally square up.)

stoehrst: Why can’t you just pass it to me, in a straight damn line?

salkster2102: Is that all you ever do, whine?

stoehrst: Don’t come here lecturing me, boyo. I’ve got years of experience on you.

salkster2102: Experience? Pah, don’t make me laugh, fool.

stoehrst: What you going to do about it?

(to the tune of

Yeahhhh

You are my striker,

My one, strike partner,

Believe when I say,

Pass the ball that way.

But we are two worlds apart,

Can't get you on the ball,

When you say.

“Don’t pass it that way.”

Tell me why

You ain't nothin' but a ****take

Tell me why

You play just like a fishcake,

Tell me why

I never wanna hear you say

“Why pass it that way?”

Am I your partner?

Your one, strike partner,

Yes I know it's too late

But why can’t you pass it this way?

Tell me why

You ain't nothin' but a ****take

Tell me why

You play just like a fishcake,

Tell me why

I never wanna hear you say

“Don’t pass it this way.”

stoehrst: What in the lords name is fishcake? Come here now, you little Schweinsteiger!

LOL

This never fails to make me laugh, Gav.

Desperately needing something to rhyme with something that rhymes with "fishcake"

That Gavina is hilarious

Hope the laughs are still coming fellas! For those who haven't noticed, there are links in the song name to youtube videos with lyrics. It's quite fun to listen again and trying to put the new words in.

*****

Chapter 2 – Scene 1.1 – The season is about to begin...

Starring;

• The Perfect FM’er

• Viperk1

• Salkster2102

(the squad are training for their first match of the footballing season. Blackburn are the visitors to FMS Stadium, but the players are fed up of training.)

The Perfect FM’er: Can we not go home now please Gav? We have been here since one o’clock.

salkster2102: I’ve got to go home and... find a sock.

viperk1: Come on guys, we need to be ready for tomorrow.

The Perfect FM’er: Sod tomorrow. We’ve easily got that game sewn up. Blackburn will be feeling the sorrow.

salkster2102: Let’s not overshoot the gun.

viperk1: He just wants to have fun...

(to the tune of Girls Just Wanna Have Fun by Cyndi Lauper – The Perfect FM’er, viperk1 and Salkster2102 singing.)

We get home, in the evening light,

My mother says, when you gonna get your training right,

Oh momma dear, we’re not the fortunate ones,

Us girls just wanna have fun,

Ohhoooooh us girls just wanna have funnnn!

My phone rings, and it gives me a fright,

My father yells, what you going to do with your career,

Oh daddy dear, you know you’re still number one,

But girls, we just wanna have fun,

Ohhhooooo us girls just wanna have,

Thats all they really waaaaaant,

Some fuuuuuun!

When the training sh*t is done,

Us girls, we wanna have fun,

Ohhooooo girls just wanna have fun.

[Girls they wanna, wanna have fun,

Girls, wanna have,

(salkster picks up unknown instrument for his instrumental solo, wowing the crowd into a deep sleep.)

Some bosses take, a beautiful player,

And hide him away from the rest of the worldddddd,

I wanna be the one, to score the winnerrrr,

Oh us girls, we just know how to have funnnnn,

Ohhoooooooh us girls just wanna have funnn.

The Perfect FM’er: Does anyone else now feel slightly demanlified?

(the crowd laughs at all three.)

viperk1: I do now.

salkster2102: Surely you’d need to be a man in the first place?

Your work never stops astounding me...pure class Gav, cant wait for more

Desperately needing something to rhyme with something that rhymes with "fishcake"

'Bull Snake'.

Hahahaha, figures that Salkster would be sending me errant passes and then singing Backstreet Boys!

Hahahaha, figures that Salkster would be sending me errant passes and then singing Backstreet Boys!

More like the other way since I finished top goalscorer

More like the other way since I finished top goalscorer

That's exactly why, you selfish little man!

There are times, Gav, you know, when I wish I was you. But then again there's times I wish my wife was Holly Willoughby, and we all know where thinking like that is going to get me.

BTW, good work here.

P.S. Can you work in 'Guns Don't Kill People, Rappers Do' by Goldie Lookin' Chain, are you taking requests ?.

I'm still waiting for Bohemian Rhapsody to make an appearance

Girls.

Thank God I ain't one.

Girls.

Thank God I ain't one.

I think we are all grateful for that.