[FM17] If you think you're too small to make a difference you haven’t spent a night with a mosquito

[oriole01]

Mayotte sounds very interesting, the only problem being that it's non-FIFA.

[sc91]

Nelson goes to Norway does have a ring to it. Like a Christmas special.

[Benjoe]

1 hour ago, oriole01 said:

Mayotte sounds very interesting, the only problem being that it's non-FIFA.

Mayotte could be interesting. If Nelson's big time plans goes south, he might head east, so to speak..

1 hour ago, sc91 said:

Nelson goes to Norway does have a ring to it. Like a Christmas special.

Haha, that's true! This will undoubtedly not happen though.

 

[Benjoe]

[ManUtd1]

4 hours ago, Benjoe said:

I see nothing in here about about the...beaches.

[Benjoe]

On 20/6/2017 at 00:53, ManUtd1 said:

I see nothing in here about about the...beaches.

Instead of answering this I'll post this Danish charity song. 

 

[Benjoe]

Big things are happening in Nelson's life and career, sadly, I haven't got the time to write about for now, and I'm not sure when I do. 

It'll be massive, though, so be ready!

[Bitner]

Following this... unique(?) journey.

Cheers,
Bitner 

[Benjoe]

20 hours ago, Bitner said:

Following this... unique(?) journey.

Cheers,
Bitner 

Cheers Bitner! Good to have you aboard this fantastic journey!

 

In regards to the thread I'm still working on the next part of the career of Nelson. It's a big time chance, as I've said before and there's a lot of events unfolding for Nelson and Mumbu so no posts about the save/story until I got it all covered.

I can, however, reveal that Nelson is interviewing for a new team in a foreign country. It is a huge chance for him, but the nation is as chaotic as a bunch of frogs (on steroids) in a box.

Will Nelson take the chance if offered?

Will Mumbu really follow him anywhere?

Does Dube & The Dikgang release a new album soon?

And what's that about Mumbu trying to get a pet gorilla? 

All this and more will be answered in the coming days! 

[noikeee]

On 2017-6-25 at 00:02, Benjoe said:

I can, however, reveal that Nelson is interviewing for a new team in a foreign country. It is a huge chance for him, but the nation is as chaotic as a bunch of frogs (on steroids) in a box.

I'm trying to think a joke here about a country that isn't horribly offensive or inappropriate. All I can think of possible destinations that fit that description are horrible warzones. 

[DodgeeD]

On 6/25/2017 at 02:02, Benjoe said:

 

I can, however, reveal that Nelson is interviewing for a new team in a foreign country. It is a huge chance for him, but the nation is as chaotic as a bunch of frogs (on steroids) in a box.

! 

 

5 hours ago, noikeee said:

I'm trying to think a joke here about a country that isn't horribly offensive or inappropriate. All I can think of possible destinations that fit that description are horrible warzones. 

To be fair, that could describe the UK these days

[Benjoe]

7 hours ago, noikeee said:

I'm trying to think a joke here about a country that isn't horribly offensive or inappropriate. All I can think of possible destinations that fit that description are horrible warzones. 

Yeah.. It's not always easy to come up with some jokes when it's about countries at great unrest with civil wars or plagues, or poverty etc. Makes it a minefield to navigate through.

2 hours ago, DodgeeD said:

 

To be fair, that could describe the UK these days

It could describe a great many nations tbh.  

[ManUtd1]

...Minefield...

[Benjoe]

1 hour ago, ManUtd1 said:

...Minefield...

[Benjoe]

On a breezy day in June, the ship entered the Congolese port of Banana and Nelson and Mumbu took their first steps on Congolese grounds.

“Ah! Mumbu do you smell that?”

“What boss?”

“The smell of imminent success!”

He trampled through the streets confidently and smiled as the bus arrived to pick them up, "Hello there, chauffeur! I am your new leader!"

Seeing the chauffeur's stiff gaze made Nelson shrug, "Whatever, haha, it was a joke! You'll get it some day", and slapped the chauffeur on the shoulder as they took their seats - Nelson of course needing all the 4 seats in the back of the bus to fit his.. you know where I'm going with this.

The bus was heading to the capital of Kinshasa, but being in Congo was not as safe and simple as Nelson believed.

This morning's newspapers had dark stories to tell.

But little did Nelson and Mumbu know, so walking through the troubled capital was no worry for the dynamic duo. Mumbu wanted ice cream, and that was what he got. As they walked through the city they passed more than one side with flowers in memorial of the deceased from the brutal demonstrations that had troubled the streets of Congo. What a time to get an opportunity to manage here. Most people would have refused due to personal safety but Nelson was relentless and walked around with his own enormous ice cream as he went to the job interview. 

Poor interviewer. He had no idea what he'd be experiencing here. 

[ManUtd1]

...they drink it in the Congo...

TP Mazembe is going down.

[Benjoe]

1 minute ago, ManUtd1 said:

...they drink it in the Congo...

TP Mazembe is going down.

Such a catchy ****ing advert!

 

[ManUtd1]

Just now, Benjoe said:

Such a catchy ****ing advert!

 

Sponsorship opportunity for Mumbu, perhaps?

[Benjoe]

1 minute ago, ManUtd1 said:

Sponsorship opportunity for Mumbu, perhaps?

[Benjoe]

Eden Mbombo stands ready by the office door to welcome Nelson and Mumbu into his office. A small office, with a strong smell of coffee and an uncanny odour of cigarette smoke, despite Eden allegedly never being  a smoker. Eden extends his arm forward to greet his guests as he smiles.

They both refuse his handshake and walks past him prior to attacking the chairs next to the desk in the middle of the room. Eden follows them and takes a seat in the chair in front of them on the other side of the desk as he quickly glances at a picture of his wife and his 5-year old daughter as he is reminded why he has to stay strong.

“So.. Nelson Mandela Jr. Welcome to this interview, and also welcome to your.. assistant? How may I address you?”

Nelson is silent.

Mumbu nods.

Eden professionally carries on as he makes convincing hand gestures.

“We’d like to ask you some questions about your past and present, and some standard questions about experience and visions.”

Nelson is silent again.

Mumbu shakes his head.

Eden continues, still using hand gestures, “Right.. So, let’s start with talking about your visions. We here at AS Dragons believe in developing and hiring young talents. Our economy is growing, but it is not strong enough to hand out big contracts. Could you handle such a policy?”

Nelson considers for a while until he answers confidently, “Yes. Of course.”

Eden ignores the short answer and goes to the next point of emphasis.

“Okay. Language wise we are the biggest francophone country in the world, so speaking French would help you very much. Is that a skill you acquire?”

Nelson looks down, then slowly gazes at Eden then around the room as he clutches his fingers together and mysteriously whispers, “Oui.”

“That’s grea-“ Eden cuts his sentence as he spots Mumbu leaning over the table.

As his mouth nears Eden’s ears he whispers, “Que”. His eyes shift from one side to the other and he slowly leans back in his seat as he gives a confident nod and smiles. He quickly raises his eyebrows in a playful manner.

Eden looks down at his papers in despair, and takes a deep breath. “We got NO other candidates, so just pick his brain a little and hire him!”

Eden closes his eyes and continues, “You’ve only got 5 years of experience managing football, and have never managed a club of this size.” Eden pauses. Mumbu nods, then shakes his head, then nods and gives a little laugh as he looks at the picture of Eden’s 5-year old daughter that is on the wooden desk they’re seated at. Eden looks at him baffled by disbelief. “You know what, the two of you are hired. I got more important matters to handle. Find your own way out.”

Nelson clutches his hand and looks at Mumbu, “Told you we’d make it.”

Mumbu looks at Nelson assertively as he nods and says, “Que”, again.

Nelson tries to get out of the chair smoothly, but to no-ones surprise his massive *** is stuck in the chair but somehow he manages to force himself free as he abruptly rises to his feet. As Nelson and Mumbu leaves the office Mumbu looks at Nelson in confusion, “Wait a minute, boss. Does this make me your official assistant, boss?”

It did.

[DodgeeD]

Strong clash, brutal force, Kinshasa - only makes me think of one thing:

[Benjoe]

Contract Details, History, Facilities, Finances, Squad + Nelson and Mumbu

Contract Details:

History:

Facilities:

Finances:

Squad:

Nelson Mandela Jr:

Mumbu Umbolele:

 

[kidthekid]

I think DR Congo is big time in Africa. I mean the Tunisian Egyptian and South African league are the biggest, but if you manage in Congo, Nigeria, Ivory Coast, Ghana Algeria, Morocco and a few others, I feel like you are within distance.

Of course getting past Vita and Mazembe is another task as those teams are on another level. But good progress.

[oriole01]

Very interesting new job that Nelson's taken here. Excited for this one mate!

(Please tell me that Dikgang will be coming along for the ride)

[Benjoe]

If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will take you there

Arrived at destination:

Democratic Republic of the Congo  -  République démocratique du Congo

 

French for 'Justice – Peace – Work'. 

A little disappointed by their coat of arms here compared to the ones we've seen before tbh.

 

DR Congo holds a lot of fantastic gifts from the nature. Fantastic forests and landscapes and lots of resources. Second largest country in Africa and the Congo rainforest is second only to the Amazon rainforest. This huge rainforest is the primary reason why DR Congo is the most biodiverse country in Africa as they have tremendous flora and fauna. In their national parks, where 5 of them are World Heritage sites: the Garumba, Kahuzi-Biega, Salonga and Virunga National Parks, and the Okapi Wildlife Reserve, you can find many different species. Some of the larger mammals are chimpanzees, (different kinds of) gorillas and lions, okapis, hippos, the African forest elephant, rhinos, giraffes, and so many more. 

  

 

   

Sadly, though, a lot of animals are poached for their fur, tusk, meat or other 'trophies' and sold on, and a lot of the woods are cut despite being WH-sites. A country at great unrest is exactly what the Democratic Republic of Congo is. Their current president, President Joseph Kabila, has been president ever since taking over the mantle 7 days after his father, President Laurent-Désiré Kabila, was assassinated by a bodyguard in 2001. He was re-elected twice, but there have been more than one violent, bloody massacre in the last couple of years. 

There are definitely some flaws in this great nation. Civil unrest and a horrible treatment of especially women is plaguing the country - as both women and children in villages are vulnerable to raids from armed militia, and politically active women will get a horrible time in prison... 

Let's end this all with something positive and negative: DR Congo - we have it all. 

[Benjoe]

10 hours ago, DodgeeD said:

Strong clash, brutal force, Kinshasa - only makes me think of one thing:

8 hours ago, kidthekid said:

I think DR Congo is big time in Africa. I mean the Tunisian Egyptian and South African league are the biggest, but if you manage in Congo, Nigeria, Ivory Coast, Ghana Algeria, Morocco and a few others, I feel like you are within distance.

Of course getting past Vita and Mazembe is another task as those teams are on another level. But good progress.

I agree. We are definitely within distance nationwise. Big leap forward in Nelson's career - astronomical one in Mumbu's.

Those are going to be troublesome ones, but just managing to hit first in our group will be difficult I believe.

2 hours ago, oriole01 said:

Very interesting new job that Nelson's taken here. Excited for this one mate!

(Please tell me that Dikgang will be coming along for the ride)

Me too, man!

They might be working on their second album. Who knows...

[Benjoe]

We got a kid with a legendary name here.

Also here is an overview of how the groups looked upon arrival.

[Benjoe]

And barely have Nelson and Mumbu passed their first week at the club before one of the best players - if not the best - comes and pleads to be offered out.  

[Benjoe]

 

 

...

[Benjoe]

The groups for the new season has been drawn and we dodged Vita Club and TP Mazembe, but we drew both of AS Dauphin Noir and Bukavu Dawa, and neither of those will be easy opponents.

We're going to be allowed to scout all of Africa though! That's pretty massive considering Nelson has never been able to scout more than the nation he was managing in. We have to be careful though, we wouldn't want to scout all over Africa and spend extreme amounts of money on our scouting, but if we use it well this could be really good for us.

[kidthekid]

This is exciting. Now you can play friendlies against other teams and not your under 21s. The TV money is actually ok. I mean compared to previously.

[oriole01]

3 hours ago, Benjoe said:

I think we found a perfect partner for Dikgang in midfield...

[Benjoe]

51 minutes ago, kidthekid said:

This is exciting. Now you can play friendlies against other teams and not your under 21s. The TV money is actually ok. I mean compared to previously.

Yes! That will be a pleasure to actually have a preseason! Also the money is fine, yes. We just need to keep our running costs at a low to get profit.

12 minutes ago, oriole01 said:

I think we found a perfect partner for Dikgang in midfield...

Who knows, he might feauture on the Coming album.

[Benjoe]

Justice et Travail - Justice and Work

You are beautiful; but learn to work, for you cannot eat your beauty.

The key words for this tactical philosophy will be 'Justice' and 'Travail', which will pan out quite differently compared to the passive tactic used at Lioli FC in Lesotho. Players will be asked to press, and go for illustrious football.

'Travail' will be accomplished by asking players to be closing down more - as opposed to the 'Closing down much less' TI's used in Lesotho. A fluid shape will be used as well to help the team stay together as pressing individually and sporadically would mean a lot of trouble for us - especially with the formation being used, which will be shown soon enough.

'Justice' will be pursued by playing aggressive football and trying to be the best side in the game and then winning the game. Thus having 'football justice', as the team that deserved to win also won the game. Do I usually believe that justice exist in football? No. We'll still try to achieve it, though, by having higher tempo, passes into space and allowance to be more expressive. We might be trying to much here, but we are ambitious!

Player Material

We obviously need some decent individuals who can work hard in a team. Do we have those? 

Goalkeeper:

The only really capable keeper at the club is 16 year old Kalonji. He's got huge potential, is professional, and a lunatic. 18 eccentricity! I'm expecting scorpion kick-style saves from this kid! He'll of course also be allowed to take care of our set-pieces (except for corners). I expect some headaches to due this kids eccentric style, but Nelson loves it, so..yeah.

:

Centre Backs:

Daniel Alhassan is our main guy in defence. We got him on a free leading to this debut season for Nelson. He looks solid, the Ghanian defender. Rolly is our second starting CB in our 2-man pair in the back. Young, talented, strong. I like him. Of backups we have two capable defenders in Kalissa and Kitoko.

 

 

Defensive Midfielders:

We're actually a little short here, and we'll be playing three DM's through our tactic, so we need more here. We do have a star at this position though. Trésor Bembo-Leta is incredible, from our own academy and only 17! The other two starters will be the following two guys. Not quite the same level (not even close), but will do for now as they'll be used in far more conservative roles.

  

Attacking Midfielders:

Just like we use three DM's we use three AM's. Again, here we have true star - who like Trésor comes from our own academy. Alex Nsumbu is brilliant, but very unhappy at the moment, so we might lose him. We got some decent players around him, though. One of those being Bigger Safari Kabene.

 

  

Strikers:

We need two strikers in our tactical setup, and luckily we are loaded in that department. We have two strikers from our own academy who are ready to bang goals in. Régis Ngoma is the star up front. Pacy, good finishing and technique and good with decisions. Needs to develop his movement offensively, though, but there should hopefully be talent enough to take him to the next level here. Thierry Lukunku-Kwatu is the other starting striker and he is very alike in the sense that he is quick and can finish but he lacks a lot of finer attributes. Younger than Ngoma, though, so hopefully he can iron out some of his deficiencies. Keep in mind, that all four strikers shown here are from AS Dragons own academy.

 

 

 

The Formation:

Beauty.

We've only played four friendlies so far. Two of them against our own youth teams, one against Vita Club (who destroyed us) and then we changed to Justice et Travail prior to our game against DC Motema Pembe who finished 3rd in the same group as us last year, so playing them using our new tactic should tell us a little about the system's hope for future succes.

It worked quite well!

Was it a justifiable win? Arguably, yes.

Other than the fact that we scored two goals, and they scored nil, we were also creating far more chances and a lot of them being dangerous as well. We didn't keep position, however, but we were also way to poor at hitting each other when trying to ping passes. It was far from how it looked at Lioli when we ping-ponged the ball past opponents at lightning speed, but we have to accept, that we are meeting teams of higher level now, and that it'll take time before we can hope for the same result. It is promising signs though!

[Benjoe]

We just bought this guy. 12k transfer. I love him already. 

[kidthekid]

The quality of this team is definitely better. You may have to deal with European clubs trying to poach your players.

Your formations are definitely...exotic and more hipster than any hipster could come up with

[Benjoe]

9 hours ago, kidthekid said:

The quality of this team is definitely better. You may have to deal with European clubs trying to poach your players.

Your formations are definitely...exotic and more hipster than any hipster could come up with

We're at a surprisingly high level actually. But yes, I think you're right. Might come some Euro clubs - or big African ones - and scoop our talents, but we'll have to do our best to keep them around.

Thank you. 

[ManUtd1]

A keeper with 18 eccentricity couldn't be a better fit for this save 

[BoxToBox]

22 minutes ago, ManUtd1 said:

A keeper with 18 eccentricity couldn't be a better fit for this save 

It'd only be right to set him to take all corner kicks.

[Benjoe]

46 minutes ago, ManUtd1 said:

A keeper with 18 eccentricity couldn't be a better fit for this save 

I agree. He's perfect.

24 minutes ago, BoxToBox said:

It'd only be right to set him to take all corner kicks.

If you must force my hand...

Also we've finally... finished the preseason. 

It's been pretty perfect though. A couple of them are from lower divisions but we won against both DC Motema and US Socozaki who are both from the Congo Premier League (DR) too, so we've been tested against a good mix. Will it hold throughout the season though? 

[Benjoe]

Mumbu steps into the press room as he looks around him. 

He's dressed in a tracksuit with dragons all over it. He's all by himself.

He smiles but it's not wholeheartedly. He's scared. It's glaring through his eyes. 

A man with a headset on points him to his seat. Mumbu slowly walks towards the chair, but as he slams his behind into the seat it squeaks and he is embarrassed. 

He looks over his shoulder, "Boss... where are you?" But 'boss' is nowhere to be seen. Nelson is at home sipping sangria preparing for his AS Dragons debut against AS Dauphine Noir.

"Who are you?" the first questions from the reporters comes in now. 

Mumbu punches the microphone in front of him a couple of times. He is confused. What is this?

"Urhhg.. Hello?" Mumbu cracks a nervous smile, "I am Mumbu Umbolele."

The reporters are quiet. 

"I... urhghrhhg... I make coffee for boss."

The reporters stares at Mumbu without saying a word. They can't believe what they're seeing.

"I... urhghrhgh... I give backrub to boss."

Mumbu starts to soften up a bit. This is fun!

"I, am the one who cooks... for boss! Haha!"

One reporter dares to lift his hand. His fellow reporters looks on with their eyes peeled. 

"What, erh, what do you have prepared for tonights game?"

"Oh. That's simple, boss - no wait, you're not boss." Mumbu slaps his cheek, "Stupid Mumbu!"

"I'm sorry..?" The reporter is petrified.

"I have a lasagne prepared for tonight, yes. For boss. Can I go now?"

One after another the reporters nod and Mumbu leaves the press room. 

[Benjoe]

"NOT NOW MUMBU! DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND!!?!?!?"

"But boss.. we had more possesion?"

"AHRGGRJHJHJHHRJGJHJR!"

[ManUtd1]

2 hours ago, Benjoe said:

"NOT NOW MUMBU! DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND!!?!?!?"

"But boss.. we had more possesion?"

"AHRGGRJHJHJHHRJGJHJR!"

Maybe having Pep lead training wasn't such a good idea...

[Benjoe]

On 1/7/2017 at 04:09, ManUtd1 said:

Maybe having Pep lead training wasn't such a good idea...

But his afro was so convincing, man.

[Benjoe]

In a little karaoke bar we find Nelson. He is trying to drink away the embarrassment that was his league debut. Unto pint 9, as he glances at a beautiful brunette sitting at a table in the other end of the room. She smiles and shrugs her shoulders as she tips her head at the stage. The same guy had been up there for the last hour. What was it, amateur hour - Nelson thought to himself as he chuckled.

The song changes and the intro to Liquido’s Narcotic plays. Who’d have known it was one of Nelson’s favorites. He just can't hold back. He must entertain. He goes to the scene, rips the microphone out of the hand of the lad who song the last song – an Abba wannabe - and starts singing with his horrendous voice, but somehow it works. He impressed her. How did that happen? How could she enjoy this **** show? Maybe she was just happy the Swedish horror show was over?

Nelson’s showmanship gene takes over as he ‘sings’ the synthesizer sounds in the song as he is a one-man band, ‘dyd dy dy dyd dydy dydydy dydyd dyyyy dydy dyydyy’ on and on. The guests of the karaoke bar are catching on. He feels it. Clapping his arms together to get the crowd going. A few claps here and there.

When the second verse comes he grabs the mic with both hands and leans in, staring her into the eyes slowling allowing them to look down her body as he sings ’Sweet devotion my delight; Oh, you're such a pretty one; And the naked thrills of flesh and skin’ Would tease me through the night!

The song finishes as he is sweating. The next song is a French one. A Congolese man with a beret, holding a baguette and fiddling his moustache is eager to come on stage. Nelson is not going. The man walks to Nelson and grabs the mic, but Nelson refuses and the two decides to do a duo of ‘Ca Plane Pour Moi’.

Fantastic. In the midst of the song Nelson grabs a pitcher of beer and pours it all over his body. The crowd is loving it.

So is she. What’s wrong with her? Why is she still here? What’s her sodding problem?

[ManUtd1]

2 hours ago, Benjoe said:

But his afro was so convincing, man.

I dunno...Fellaini thinks they're quite fetching...

[Benjoe]

2 hours ago, ManUtd1 said:

I dunno...Fellaini thinks they're quite fetching...

That should really be a warning sign regarding any future contact from Mr. Baldie. 

[Benjoe]

 

 

[ManUtd1]

Ironically, "Winless in Kinshasa" -- the Ben Affleck-Matt Damon 2019 follow-up to Good Will Hunting -- really didn't do well at the box office.

Jean de Dieu Sacre is truly up to date with his pop culture references.

[Benjoe]

15 minutes ago, ManUtd1 said:

Ironically, "Winless in Kinshasa" -- the Ben Affleck-Matt Damon 2019 follow-up to Good Will Hunting -- really didn't do well at the box office.

Jean de Dieu Sacre is truly up to date with his pop culture references.

Flashbacks for Ben..