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Walcott\'s Wonderkids

The Commentators Curse: Volume 1 – The Battle of the ‘stans’ (Holiday / Sign Up

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despite only starting 3 games and coming on in only 10 games i still managed to get 8 goals. why dont liverpool use me more? glad we won the league and uefa cup double though. great update as usual.im looking forward to the next sign up as well

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Fantastic update for a "finished" signup icon_smile.gif

Hermandinho's had a fantastic season at Real Madrid.

Good stuff, and let's hope for the best in the WC Quals!

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Jeez, I finally move to a decent club and the sign up ends icon_frown.gif

Ah well icon_biggrin.gif Kyrgyzstan dominates Asia!!!! icon_biggrin.gif And most caps is a consolation I guess. Plus the fact that may player looks like the perfect defender icon_biggrin.gif

Nice to see its holidaying at least. Lazio ftw! And those Olympic group standings are hilarious. As for the World Cup, you really have to pity Laos.

Great work WW, Can I still get in on your new sign up? I'll join the Czechs to finish off that team.

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<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre">

Czech Rep

1) Slater

2) Masters66

3) Follow the blind

4) Neo AC

Greece

1) Benjaminoo

2) Cookie15

3)

4)

Ireland

1) Elf_30

2)

3)

4)

Switzerland

1) Freelinet

2) Eldereth

3)

4)

Ukraine

1) wisla_krakow

2) scott1990

3) Blackcats

4) birdy123

Wales

1) TeeWee

2) The Golden boy

3) SJ234

4)

</pre>

I've added you Neo AC as you have been a consistent poster over these past few months, but to everyone else this sign up reservation list is now closed and you will have to wait until the thread is released.

TeeWee - I did say I was going to come back to this thread in the future to see what happened next, though admittedly wasn't planning on coming back quite so quickly I have to admit. icon_biggrin.gif

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I am feeling a bit lonely here in ol' Erin. What, no one likes us Irish boys?

Cant wait for the next one and great that the wait wasnt too long, lol.

Peace

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<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by elf_30:

I am feeling a bit lonely here in ol' Erin. What, no one likes us Irish boys?

Cant wait for the next one and great that the wait wasnt too long, lol.

Peace </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

no worries, at least you didn't pick Ukraine which is apparently is the worst choice icon_rolleyes.gif

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icon14.gif Thanks, WW. icon_biggrin.gif Would have seen this sooner, but like I said, schoolwork is piling up in the Great White North icon_frown.gif

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<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Blackcats:

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by elf_30:

I am feeling a bit lonely here in ol' Erin. What, no one likes us Irish boys?

Cant wait for the next one and great that the wait wasnt too long, lol.

Peace </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

no worries, at least you didn't pick Ukraine which is apparently is the worst choice icon_rolleyes.gif </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

icon_biggrin.gificon_wink.gif

Well to be honest any league could be a really good or really bad league, as the data you will provide me with will be vital to how successful your person will be. Its just that some leagues will be less forgiving than others if you don't give me the right stats. icon_smile.gif

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I have now holidayed through the London Olympic Games 2012 Tournament and I will put a brief overview up on Saturday afternoon.

3 'stan' nations made the finals (Kyrgyzstan, Turkmenistan + Uzbekistan) and I can reveal that one of the 'stan' nations got knocked out in the group stages, one was knocked out in the Q Finals and one of the nations was beaten in the final - but which nation did their people proud by bringing home a silver medal?

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The London Olympic Games 2012

Group A

Kyrgyzstan U23s v Mexico U23s

All over by half time – literally, the second half was a snooze fest.

Nigeria U23s 2 v 1 Czech Rep U23s

Kyrgyzstan U23s v Czech Rep U23s

Over 67,000 people turned up at Wembley to watch Kyrgyzstan, and they didn’t disappoint.

Mexico U23s 5 v 0 Nigeria U23s

Nigeria U23s v Kyrgyzstan U23s

Another game at Wembley, another 67,000+ crowd and another cracking performance. Teams beware, Kyrgyzstan are looking dangerous!

Czech Rep U23s 4 v 3 Mexico U23s

Group D

Turkmenistan U23s v USA U23s

Ummm…. Oh dear!

Portugal U23s 4 v 0 Ivory Coast U23s

Ivory Coast U23s 1 v 1 USA U23s

Portugal U23s v Turkmenistan U23s

A tight, even game decided by only one goal… but who scored it?

Portugal U23s 0 v 0 USA U23s

Turkmenistan U23s v Ivory Coast U23s

Great performance from Selim Atas and the team as a whole, but unfortunately their previous performances were just not up to the same standards so go out of the tournament.

Group Stages Table

Group Tables

Probably the most surprising event so far is that Uzbekistan came top in a group featuring Spain and Brazil!!! This despite Brazil U23s beating Cameroon U23s 12-0 in the final round of games.

Quarter Finals

Spain U23s v Kyrgyzstan U23s

Could Kyrgyzstan get revenge on Spain from 4 years ago, or would they be knocked out after showing such promise?

Argentina U23s 2 v 3 USA U23s

France U23s 3 v 1 Portugal U23s

Mexico U23s 0 v 1 Uzbekistan U23s

The Uzbekistan amazing journey continues and they are now so close to getting a medal at the Olympic Games!

Semi Finals

France U23s 2 v 1 USA U23s

Uzbekistan U23s 2 v 0 Spain U23s

Just quite, quite unbelievable – who would have thought this?! With the youth looking this good for Uzbekistan; Kyrgyzstan and Turkmenistan may have a fight on their hands to retain their status as the best ‘stan’ nations.

Bronze Medal Playoff

USA U23s 2 v 2 Spain U23s – Spain won 4-3 on penalties.

Gold Medal Final

France U23s 4 v 1 Uzbekistan U23s

So it seems it was one match too many for Uzbekistan, but for this nation it is an unbelievable result and their public will be going delirious at the news.

Tournament Charts

Best Average Ratings

Top Goalscorers

Assist Kings

Dazy Dribblers

Top Tacklers

Bill came tied first with 8 others in the goalscoring charts, netting 4 goals.

<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre">

Gold Medal: France

Silver Medal: Uzbekistan

Bronze Medal: Spain

</pre>

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<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Bill came tied first with 8 others in the goalscoring charts, netting 4 goals. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

\o/, shame the team did nothing really icon_frown.gif

Nice one icon14.gif

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We were on fire in the group stages, shame we got battered by Spain. Oh and add Benj's red card on top of that icon_frown.gif

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We clean sheet everyone but Spain, damn. That was an impressive run. How many more do we have or is it now just the Asian and the Stans that are left?

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sorry i haevnt been posting, i've had difficulties and even had to close my sign up but now im back

good to see Bennitto doign very well

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Unbelievably bad tournament for the Turkmeni. And who would've guessed that the Olympic Stan would be neither Turkmenistan nor Kyrgyzistan! icon_smile.gif

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icon14.gif 2 goals and Krygyzstan swept through the group stages.

icon13.gif Spain! Dang their well-tanned hides!

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Commentators Curse Volume One: What Happened Next?

Season 2012 / 2013

Summer 2012 Transfers / Contract Dealings of Note

Hermandinho signed a new 5 year contract with Real Madrid worth £15m.

Turkus Mendieta signed a new 5 year contract with Everton worth £7m. However, a month later Lazio came in with a £14.75m bid for the player which Everton accepted. Turkus Mendieta agreed terms and became the latest signing by Lazio of superstars from the 2 nations.

Peter Slater has moved to Beveren for a season long loan from Liverpool.

Rhys + Gareth Davies have both signed new 3 year contracts with Arsenal. Rhys Davies is now on £27,500pw, with Gareth Davies on £29,500pw.

Ulfinus Chaoconov has signed a new 3 year deal with Athletico Madrid worth £2.5m.

Ghoolbi Dumats signed a new 5 year contract with Portsmouth worth £4m. A month later, like Mendieta, Marseille came in with a £10.75m offer which was too good for Pompey to turn down and Dumats moved to the French club.

Alvaro De Santiago signed a new 3 year contract with Inter Milan worth £3m.

Elfdog signed a new contract with Chelsea until June 2015 on £4,900pw.

As mentioned in the previous season’s update, Mick Bubble moved on a free transfer to Barcelona from AC Milan and David Frketic moved on a free transfer to Newcastle from Real Madrid.

Freealdinho has committed a sin of high proportions – a year after moving from Man Utd to AC Milan, he has come back to the Premiership and signed for Man City in a £15.25m transfer.

Tottenham made a move for George Robson in the transfer market, signing him for £5.75m from Palermo over the summer.

Notable Injuries

Gary McNeil tore his calf muscle back in November and was out of action for 3 months.

End of 2012 Awards

Zlatan Ibrahimovic won the World Player of the Year Award.

Fred came second and David Villa third.

Fred won the World Footballer of the Year Award.

Zlatan Ibrahimovic came second and Fernando Torres third.

Fernando Torres won the European Footballer of the Year Award.

Nicolas Bendtner came second and Robinho was third.

Freealdinho has won the Young Asian Player of the Year Award. Selim Atas came third.

Young Asian Player of the Year Award Roll of Honour:

2006 – Andranik Teymourian (Iranian)

2007 – Selim Atas

2008 – Selim Atas

2009 – Selim Atas

2010 – David Williams (Australian)

2011 – Azeryk

2012 – Freealdinho

The Turkmenistan national team manager Yuri Magdiev came second in the Asian Manager of the Year Award. Alexandr Korzanov, the Kyrgyzstan national team manager came third.

January Transfers of Note

Surprising news emerging from Arsenal. They had accepted a £31m offer from Liverpool for Gareth Davies, the player had agreed terms but then the deal was cancelled at the last minute by Arsenal, who have not disclosed the reasons why.

Over at Lazio, Benj was subject to a raft of interest from Europe’s big clubs. Lazio rejected all of these bids, which did not please Benj and has put in a transfer request . He is currently valued at £22.5m, with an asking price set by Lazio of £57m!!! There are 8 clubs interested, including Man Utd, Lyon, Bayern Munich, AC Milan and Valencia.

Habib Halali is now owned by 2 clubs! Juventus have bought 50% of Halali for £5.25m. He will remain at Roma for the time being though.

Libertinho moved from Villareal to Werder Bremen for £5.75m.

Bennitto Hagan was subject to many bids during January, but Valencia rejected all of them.

Peter Slater has signed a new 2 year contract with Liverpool worth £4m.

In other transfer news, the biggesT transfer during January was Fabregas moving to Barcelona from Arsenal for £41m.

In April, Prof Frink signed a new 4 year contract with Everton worth £10m.

Also in April, as a response to the club’s poor form this season, Man Utd sacked their manager Javier Aguirre. Club legend Mark Hughes has been appointed the new manager of the club.

In May, with Benj still having his transfer request in place, but crucially the asking price set by Lazio having dropped to around £20m, a raft of clubs decided to bid for him again. Lazio accepted offers from Liverpool, Arsenal, Real Madrid, Valencia and Napoli. Benj decided to take up the offer of Real Madrid and will join them on July 1st for £32m – slightly more than what Lazio had said the asking price to!

Domestic Competitions

England Premiership

The English Premiership was won by Arsenal, ahead of Chelsea Liverpool and Newcastle. Man Utd have fallen even further from grace, finishing 14th this season. Everton just escaped relegation.

France La Ligue

Lyon won the French First Division rather easily and for the fourth season in a row. Mastinho played a part in 22 league games throughout the season, so has earned himself a winners medal.

Italy Serie A

Napoli proved that last season was no fluke, winning the league for the second season in a row ahead of the traditional big 3 of Inter Milan, AC Milan & Juventus.

Lazio beat Napoli 4-1 on agg in the Italian Cup Final to prevent Napoli from achieving an impressive treble.

Spain La Liga

However, it was probably in Spain that the biggest shock occurred. Zaragoza who were predicted fifth finished 4 points ahead of Espanyol, Real Madrid & Barcelona – all 3 having 67 points.

Belgium First Division

As Peter Slater spent a season on loan at Beveren, I’ve included the Belgian league table. Beveren didn’t do too well, although Peter Slater had a good season from a personal point of view.

UEFA Cup Final

Werder Bremen 1 v 2 Lazio

Lazio and their band of superstars got their hands on a trophy this season, beating a Werder Bremen side that included Libertinho. 3 superstars played for Lazio – Ryan, Turkus Mendieta & Benj.

Champs League Final

Liverpool 0 v 1 Napoli

Player Ratings

Champs League KO Round Tree

An incident packed game with both sides only finishing with 9 men! It was a last minute goal slightly against the run of player that meant Napoli completed a league and European Cup double this season.

Games Played Stats

Kyrgyzstan Players

Turkmenistan Players

Wages Stats

Kyrgyzstan Wages

Turkmenistan Players

Where are they all playing?

(As at 1st June 2013)

<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre">

England Premiership – 13

Italy Serie A - 8

Spain La Liga - 6

France La Ligue - 2

Belgium First Div - 1

German First Div - 1

Italy Serie B - 1

</pre>

Who’s hogging all the superstars?

<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre">

Lazio – 5

Barcelona – 2

Atheltico Madrid – 2

Liverpool – 3

Arsenal – 2

Man Utd – 2

Others - 1

</pre>

International Competitions

World Cup 2014 2nd Qual Round

The World Cup 2014 2nd Qual Round was a walk in the park for both teams, both sides winning 6 out of 6 despite strong opposition in Iran and Australia.

World Cup 2014 3rd Qual Round

Onto the 3rd and final Qual Round and both sides are currently leading their groups at the halfway stage. Notable performances include a 4-1 away win in Japan for Kyrgyzstan and a 6-0 home win for Turkmenistan against South Korea.

Int Caps Stats

Kyrgyzstan Players

Turkmenistan Players

Kyrgyzstan Players

Alan picked up his 50th cap for Kyrgyzstan in the World Cup Qual 2nd round match against Iran back in November. Kyrgyzstan won the match 2-0, with Alan & Bill scoring.

George Robson & Ryan both won their 50th caps in a 3-1 away win against China during the World Cup 2014 3rd Qual Round. The scorers that day were Bill, Freealdinho & Alan. Both guys in question picked up a rating of 8 that day.

Azeryk won his 50th cap in a fine 4-1 away win against Japan. Azeryk capped the game off with a goal, although Freealdinho slightly stole the show with a fine hat-trick.

Turkmenistan Players

Hermandingo & Pablo Gonzalez won their 50th caps in the same game, a 0-2 friendly defeat away to Northern Ireland back in November, the stats showing that they were battered. A depleted Turkmenistan squad due to withdrawals from the squad meant that only 6 superstars started the game. The most incredible point of the game was in the 82nd minute when the Turkmenistan manager decided to bring sub GK Alvaro De Santiago off the bench and play him as an outfield player!!!

Luke Swinson won his 50th cap for Turkmenistan in a World Cup Qual 2nd round match against Australia back in November. Turkmenistan won 3-2 in an incredible game, Turkmenistan leading 2-0 thanks to a Selim Atas double until the 84th minute, with Australia then pulling level with an equaliser in injury time. Then supersub Marcus Cook popped up for Turkmenistan to score the winner!

Libertinho won his 50th cap in what was the 1st leg of The Stanlies Cup against Kyrgyzstan, but which is now just a friendly game. Turkmenistan lost the game 2-3, but Libertinho did pick up the MOM award.

Confederations Cup 2013

Finally, due to Kyrgyzstan winning the Asian Nations Cup 2011 they are now one of the competing nations at the Confederations Cup 2013, hosted by Spain and held during the 2nd half of June:

Group Stage Draw

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great update WW icon14.gif

Glad to see cookie is beginning to fulfil his potential at the mighty Reading icon_wink.gif

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Good update WW! I'm happy to see that Hermandinho is having a good time in Madrid and playing superbly for his club as well as internationally.

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Kyrgrystan doing alright it seems icon14.gif.

Alan is not, frozen out at Liverpool icon_frown.gif only 9 starts all season, methinks an exit should be on the cards.

However highest capped Kyrgrystan player atm icon14.gif.

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Confederations Cup 2013

Great news for the superstars as all 16 are selected for the Kyrgyzstan squad for the tournament.

Group B Games

Kyrgyzstan 1 v 2 Argentina

Player Ratings

An even first half was brought to life when Alan crossed for Freealdinho to hammer home at the near post after 40 minutes.

Sensing that his team could achieve arguably their greatest ever win, the Kyrgyzstan manager decided to go defensive for the second half and took off Capt Alan and brought on George Robson at halftime.

Argentina drew level with 20 minutes to go with a superb 25 yard freekick.

Then Kyrgyzstan hearts were broken with just 5 minutes to go, Aguero latching onto a through ball from the left and slotting it past Elfdog from the edge of the area.

Bill had 2 chances to resuce a point for Kyrgyzstan in injury time, but his first attempt was headed wide and he pulled his second attempt just wide of the far post from a tight angle.

USA 0 v 4 Italy

Kyrgyzstan 2 v 1 USA

Player Ratings

The only change was that Elfdog was dropped and Lui brought into the GK spot for this must-win game.

Great start as a poor clearance by Howard after 8 minutes falls straight to Freealdinho, who unselfishly squares the ball to Alan to tap home.

20 minutes gone and the 2 strikers return the favour for each other, Alan crossing from the right wing and Freealdinho heads home at the near post.

USA pull a goal back with 13 minutes to go, Lui rushing out of goal to meet a long ball but completely getting it wrong, leaving Eddie Johnson the chance to knock the ball into an empty net from 35 yards out.

Lui makes up for his mistake though as he pulls off a fantastic save from Landon Donovan with 2 minutes to go after he was able to run in on goal from 40 yards out.

Freealdinho wins the MOM award.

Italy 2 v 1 Argentina

Kyrgyzstan 1 v 0 Italy

Player Ratings

A must win game for Kyrgyzstan, in which even a victory may not be enough for them. The manager keeps with the same side that beat USA.

Kyrgyzstan take the lead after 8 minutes, in-form Freealdinho outjumping the keeper to head home a freekick from deep by Mick Bubble.

Kyrgyzstan ride their luck a bit but at halftime they had not yet conceded to the Italian onslaught.

Italy continue to pile on the pressure, but Lui and his defenders stand firm against the prowess of Pazzini and Gilardino.

Both sides had plenty of chances in the last 20 minutes to score again.

Kyrgyzstan hold on, but was it enough to see them through to the semi-finals?!

Argentina 4 v 1 USA

Group Tables - Have Kyrgyzstan qualified?!

So Kyrgyzstan goes out, despite winning 2/3 games, purely down to the fact that they didn’t beat USA by as big a margin as Italy and Argentina.

I think I’ve found a problem with the AI here as Kyrgyzstan were leading 1-0 with 20 minutes to go and as such were going to go out unless they scored more goals against Italy. However, it was Italy who were piling forward, with even their GK coming up for corners at the end and Mastinho was even time wasting near the corner flag, despite the fact that Kyrgyzstan were going out unless they scored more!

Semi Finals

<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre">

Italy 0 v 1 Brazil

Argentina 0 v 0 Spain – Spain won 6-5 on penalties

</pre>

3rd / 4th Place Playoff

<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre">

Italy 1 v 0 Argentina

</pre>

Final

Brazil 3 v 0 Spain

Brazil win the final against the hosts Spain thanks to goals from Marcelo, Robinho & Luisao.

Best Average Ratings

Top Goalscorers

Assist Kings

So in summary, Kyrgyzstan may be frustrated that they didn’t go further in the competition, but I think overall they can count the competition as a positive – it’s the first time that Kyrgyzstan have looked like a team that can match the world’s best nations in a game. The win against Italy will be a terrific confidence boost and looking ahead to next year’s World Cup, a reasonable group stage draw could see them go far in the competition.

World Rankings – July 2013

The World's Best Nations

Kyrgyzstan have leapt up the rankings over the past 12 months, whilst Turkmnenistan have dropped just outside of the top screen of countries, currently in 29th place in the rankings. With all the players turning 24 back on the 1st July, the players are starting to reach their peak and the next 5 years will probably be their most successful.

Hopefully if both nations have a good World Cup at the end of next season, then their rankings will improve further.

In terms of CA & PA, one superstar player has a CA > 190 and 3 players have reached their full potential, with a further 5 players just 1 point away from their PA. There are also still 3 players that have more than 10 points to improve on if they are to reach their potential.

Other Stats about Global Football

The World’s 50th Richest Clubs – where are they?

The World's Richest Clubs

<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre">

England – 12

-------------------

Spain – 9

-------------------

Italy – 8

-------------------

France – 5

-------------------

Germany – 3

Holland – 3

Portugal – 3

Saudi Arabia – 3

-------------------

United States – 2

-------------------

Australia – 1

Turkey – 1

</pre>

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I play well for Lazio, but not for Kyrgystan icon_frown.gif shame.

Good updates icon14.gificon14.gif

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With the release of Genie Scout imminent, I feel now is the right time to announced:

From the Director of The Commentator's Curse Volume One: The Battle of the 'stans', Walcott's Wonderkids presents...

The Commentator's Curse Volume Two: The Academy of Dodgy Cliches and Abusing the Referee

Reserved Places

<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre">

Czech Rep

1) Slater

2) Masters66

3) Follow the blind

4) Neo AC

Greece

1) Benjaminoo

2) Cookie15

3)

4)

Ireland

1) Elf_30

2)

3)

4)

Switzerland

1) Freelinet

2) Eldereth

3)

4)

Ukraine

1) wisla_krakow

2) scott1990

3) Blackcats

4) birdy123

Wales

1) TeeWee

2) The Golden boy

3) SJ234

4)

</pre>

Starts: 6pm Sunday 18th November 2007

The wait is almost over! icon_wink.gificon_biggrin.gif

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<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by aaberdeenn:

Can I join this?

If so, what do I need to fill out? </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

If you're on at 6pm tomorrow and you take one of the vacancies then of course you can. icon_wink.gificon_biggrin.gif

Apologies for speaking the bleeding obvious there, to answer your question nobody on the list above has filled out a form yet, those people are just the ones who were involved in this past version and have been allowed to reserve a place. The remaining gaps you can see are available for anyone. icon14.gif

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Greece

1) Benjaminoo

2) Cookie15

3) aaberdeenn

4)

Well I'll reserve me a place in Greece then. icon14.gif

I should be on about 6 but if not then it won't be long after then when I will. I will definitely be at some point during tomorrow night though.

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<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by aaberdeenn:

Greece

1) Benjaminoo

2) Cookie15

3) <STRIKE>aaberdeenn</STRIKE>

4)

Well I'll reserve me a place in Greece then. icon14.gif

I should be on about 6 but if not then it won't be long after then when I will. I will definitely be at some point during tomorrow night though. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

and I will unreserve you a place in Greece. icon_biggrin.gif

Apologies if I'm sounding mean or harsh but the reservation list is (was, technically speaking) only for people who took part in this sign up.

If I let you reserve a place, then it means I would have to let somebodyelse do the same and then there's the chance that come 6pm tomorrow, there are no open spaces left!

So again apologies for 'de-listing' you now, but you'll have to wait like everyone else who aren't already on the list. icon_smile.gif

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Orite. I misunderstood that whole thing. Sorry. icon_rolleyes.gif

I didn't realize what was going on tbh, sorry again.

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<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Walcott's Wonderkids:

With the release of Genie Scout imminent, I feel now is the right time to announced:

From the Director of The Commentator's Curse Volume One: The Battle of the 'stans', Walcott's Wonderkids presents...

The Commentator's Curse Volume Two: The Academy of Dodgy Cliches and Abusing the Referee </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

*Applause!* icon14.gif

I'm looking forward to this and to see what your idea is all about. Dodgy cliches and Abusing the ref? Hah. I can do that! Give me a trait like argues with officials! icon_smile.gif

Good stuff mate. See you later at the new thread. Is that 6pm, GMT? That for us continentals and all icon_wink.gif

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Finally, only a few more hours, but can we stand the suspense, lol. I am soooooo looking forward to this sign up.

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Right, its been a while since the last update - so this weekend I will try and run the 2013/2014 season and also do a World Cup 2014 update special as both Kyrgyzstan & Turkmenistan are involved in the World Cup. icon14.gif

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What Happened Next? - Season 2013 / 2014

Part One - 2013 Summer Transfer Window

After several seasons of intimating that he might leave, Selim Atas finally did move from Athletico Madrid to Barcelona for £29million.

Real Madrid signed Gareth Davies from Arsenal for £20.5million.

Man City signed Ulfinus Chaoconov for £6million from Athletico Madrid.

Fiorentina signed Marcus Cook from Reading for £11million. The fee could rise £22million.

Freealdinho is on the move again. A season after signing for Man City, he moves to Valencia for £17.5million.

After negotiations with both Roma and Juventus, Barcelona managed to sign Habib Halali for £14.75million.

Newcastle signed Mick Bubble from Barcelona for £5.25million.

Prof Frink moved from Everton to Bayern Munich for £16.5million in the summer.

Bill signed a new 5 year contract with Lazio.

So as a summary, here is where everyone is based at the end of the summer transfer window:

Kyrgyzstan Players

Turkmenistan Players

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What Happened Next? - Season 2013 / 2014

Part Two

World Cup Group Draw 2014

Groups A-D

Groups E-H

<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre">

Group D Group G

England ( 4th) Argentina ( 5th)

Croatia (23rd) Ghana (22nd)

Kyrgyzstan (14th) Switzerland (15th)

Algeria (26th) Turkmenistan (31st)

</pre>

For once Kyrgyzstan have not been drawn in a group of death, with Turkmenistan being drawn in a tougher group than their rivals.

There is not a single really really tough group, but one of the toughest must be Group H, featuring Spain, Sweden, Colombia and Nigeria, which is not ideal for Turkmenistan who would have to face one of the teams from that group if they progress from Group G.

With all of the players turning 25 on 1st July during the tournament, the players will feel that it is either this or the next World Cup in which they have their greatest chance to make a mark on the international stage!

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What Happened Next? - Season 2013 / 2014

Part Three

World Awards

Carlos Vela of Bayern Munich won the World Player of the Year Award.

Fred came second and Klass-Jan Huntelaar came third.

Fred of Lyon won the World Footballer of the Year Award.

English regen Mark Abbott came second and Carlos Vela came third.

Alexandr Korzanov, the Kyrgyzstan national team manager, came second in the Asian Manager of the Year Award.

Pablo Gonzalez came third in the Asian Player of the Year Award.

January Transfers

Roma signed Mastinho from Lyon for £8.5million.

In the run-up to the transfer window, a scrum of clubs announced their interest in Humphrey Koppers. In the end, he signed for Inter Milan in a £24.5million transfer, having rejected offers from Juventus, Liverpool and his former club AC Milan.

Tottenham have signed Libertinho from Werder Bremen for £11.5million.

Pablo Gonzalez signed a new 3 year contract with Juventus worth £9million.

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What happened Next? - Season 2013 / 2014

Part Four

End of Season Review

England

Premiership

West Ham won the Premiership at a canter from the other teams.

Blackburn won the FA Cup 3-1 against Fulham.

Leeds beat a Tottenham side featuring Libertinho and George Robson 5-4 on penalties in the League Cup Final, after a 0-0 draw. George Robson had a game to forget, being sent off after just 34 minutes of the game.

France

First League

Ghoolbi Dumats has completed an historic treble with Marseille, winning the league French Cup and League Cup with them.

Marseille beat Lyon 1-0 in the League Cup Final and beat Toulouse 2-1 in the French Cup Final.

Germany

First Division

Prof Frink had a successful first season in Germany, helping Bayern Munich to win the First Division for the first time in three seasons.

Italy

Serie A

Inter Milan won the title this season, but Alvaro De Santiago was frozen out of the action and put in a transfer request. Currently interest is surfacing from Luton (won the English Championship this season), Fenerbahce and Catania.

However, Humphrey Koppers put in enough performances since his move from Barcelona to qualify for a winners medal.

Koppers also picked up an Italian Cup Winners medal as Inter Milan beat Lazio 5-3 on agg in the final, having lost the first leg 1-2, Inter came back to smash a Lazio side containing Ryan, Bill, Gary McNeil and Luke Swinson 4-1 in the 2nd leg.

Spain

La Liga

It turned out to be a good first season for Freealdinho as he and Bennitto Hagan picked up La Liga winners medals as Valencia won the title by 7 points from Sevilla.

Games Played Stats

Kyrgyzstan Players

Turkmenistan Players

International Caps

I will talk more about this after the World Cup update as it seems more appropriate to do it then, but both nations have seen more superstars reach the 50 caps level.

Also, Alan has overtaken Azeryk as Kyrgyzstan’s all time leading goalscorer with 46 goals. Pablo Gonzalez leads Turkmenistan’s charts with 45 goals – could either man break 50 goals by the end of the World Cup?!?!

What leagues are you all playing in?

(As of 1st June 2014)

<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre">

--------------------------

English Premiership - 12

--------------------------

Italian Serie A - 11

--------------------------

Spainish La Liga - 6

--------------------------

German First Div - 1

French First League - 1

Italian Serie B - 1

--------------------------

</pre>

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What Happened Next? - Season 2013 / 2014

Part Five

World Cup 2014 Build Up

2014 Hosts: Spain

2010 Holders: Brazil

Top 10 World Rankings Pre Tournament

<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre">

1. Brazil

2. Italy

3. France

4. England

5. Argentina

6. Czech Rep

7. Spain

8. Germany

9. Portugal

10. Mexico

-----------------

11. Kyrgyzstan

31. Turkmenistan

</pre>

Group Stage Fixtures

<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre">

Kyrgyzstan Turkmenistan

Sun 8th June v Croatia Tues 10th June v Switzerland

Fri 13th June v England Mon 16th June v Argentina

Weds 18th June v Algeria Fri 20th June v Ghana

</pre>

Squad Announcements

Kyrgyzstan - Have called up all 16 superstars and all are fit and healthy as of 1st June 2014.

Turkmenistan - Have called up all 16 superstars. As of the 1st June 2014, Ghoolbi Dumats & Marcus Cook had injuries that would keep them out for upto 2 weeks, possibly ruling them out of the 1st group games.

World Cup Review to be published Sunday afternoon / evening. icon14.gif

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icon14.gif Lazio get into the Champs League and Krygyzstan is knocking on the door of the top 10. 'Mon Stanis!

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What Happened Next? - Season 2013 / 2014

Part Four (Cont)

Season Summary

(Forgot this bit earlier)

Champions League Final

Lyon 0 v 1 Inter Milan

Inter Milan complete a league and cup double, but neither De Santiago (frozen out) or Koppers (cup-tied) played in the final for Inter.

Knockout Stages Tree

UEFA Cup Final

Man City 1 v 1 Valencia

Valencia Player Stats

An interesting game for Freealdinho has he lined up for his current club against his former club. Freealdinho got an assist for Valencia before being subbed after 74 minutes. The game went into extra time and then penalties.

Man City won 5 - 4 on penalties to win the UEFA Cup

So Freealdinho only picked up a runners-up medal.

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Sweet, Lazio doing well.

Signed a new 5 year contract, and finally having a great season icon_biggrin.gif

Kyrgystan so much better than Turkmenistan icon_cool.gif

icon14.gif

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World Cup 2014 Review - Part One

Group D - Kyrgyzstan Group Matches

Kyrgyzstan 3 v 0 Croatia

Kyrgyzstan Player Stats

Alan was captain as he walked out at the front of 11 superstars starting in a 4-4-2 formation against a Croatian side playing 3-4-3.

Kyrgyzstan had the better start, with Alan finishing well into the far post from the left side after just 9 minutes. 1-0

It then got even better after 15 minutes, Freealdinho being the first to react to a keeper’s parry from an Alan shot. 2-0

2-0 up at halftime and things looked rosy for Kyrgyzstan.

Ryan wrapped the game up after 66 minutes when he dispatched a penalty after Bill was tripped in the penalty area. 3-0

Freealdinho was subbed after 84 minutes to a standing ovation.

A fantastic start to the tournament for Kyrgyzstan in a match they dominated from start to finish. MOM goes to Freealdinho for his 10/10 performance.

Algeria 0 v 1 England

England 2 v 1 Kyrgyzstan

Kyrgyzstan Player Stats

Alan leads out the 11 superstars for this battle against the top ranked team in their group. Both sides play a 4-4-2 formation, interestingly with Wayne Rooney playing right mid for England.

England take the lead after 15 minutes, Daniel Sturridge running down the right flank before crossing for Mark Abbott (regen) to head home at the near post. 1-0

The game was quite even for another 20 minutes, but it was England who scored the next goal, Carrick blasting home inside the area after a charged down shot. 2-0

Alexandr Korzanov must have said something special in the dressing room at halftime as 2 minutes into the second half Kyrgyzstan are back into the game, Freealdinho slotting home at the back post after a cross from Alan. 2-1

England were then on the ropes for the next 15 minutes as Kyrgyzstan piled the pressure on, however England survived that spell of pressure and managed to cling on for the rest of the game. If the first half was all England then the second half was all Kyrgystan and perhaps the game should have been a draw. MOM went to England’s Paul Robinson.

Croatia 2 v 0 Angola

Algeria 1 v 1 Kyrgyzstan

Kyrgyzstan Player Stats

Alan leads the troops out again for a game where they know a win of any sorts will guarantee qualification for the next round. The 11 superstars line up in a 4-4-2 formation, Algeria also lining up 4-4-2.

Just 2 minutes in and Alan beats the Algerian keeper to a header and scores to give Kyrgyzstan a great start. 0-1

However, Algeria show they won’t be a pushover and equaliser just 3 minutes later, albeit through a deflected shot. 1-1

The rest of the first half was a bit drab, with the score still 1-1 at halftime. With England winning 2-1 against Croatia at halftime it looked ok for Kyrgyzstan.

Algeria had the better of the second half and Kyrgyzstan posed little attacking threat, with game ending 1-1. However, had Croatia done enough against England to pip Kyrgyzstan to 2nd place in the group?!

Group D Table

England 3 v 3 Croatia

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Talk about a close call! Kind of reminds me of that other important England vs Croatia game except this one had a happy end icon_biggrin.gif

Been performing reasonably wel in the league, but I seem to have been reduced to a sub in the Kyrgyzstan squad.

I'm hoping for a Kyrgyzstan-Turkmenistan finale icon_smile.gif

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Wow, yet another transfer.

A La liga medal but I'm not happy about being subbed against Man City.

Glad to be getting more game time for the national side and repaying the faith with goals and quality performances!

Glad to see that you are still on this WW icon14.gif

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World Cup 2014 Review - Part Two

Group G - Turkmenistan Group Matches

Switzerland 0 v 1 Turkmenistan

Turkmenistan Player Stats

Selim Atas leads out the team featuring 9 superstars in a 3-5-2 formation, against a Swiss side playing 4-4-2.

Gareth Davies limps off after just over 20 minutes with an injury, Peter Slater replacing him.

An uneventful half is awoken when Djourou heads a Peter Slater cross into his own net after 42 minutes to give Turkmenistan the lead. 0-1

Switzerland start to take the game to Turkmenistan in the second half and should really have equalised after 58 minutes when an unmarked Behrami produced a glaring miss after a deep cross to the back post had missed everyone else.

A minute later and Behrami put the ball in the net, only for it to be ruled out for offside – Turkmenistan holding on by a knife’s edge at this moment.

However, an excellent rearguard performance from Turkmenistan meant that they held on to a 1-0 win that was probably extremely harsh on Switzerland, especially as Turkmenistan didn’t have a shot on target throughout the whole game! MOM went to Hermandinho, who like Taraldo got 9s for the defensive performances.

Argentina 1 v 0 Ghana

Turkmenistan 0 v 1 Argentina

Turkmenistan Player Stats

Selim Atas leads out the team, with the same 9 superstars starting as against Switzerland. Playing in a 3-5-2 formation, they face an Argentinian team in a 4-4-2 formation.

Argentina dominate the first half, with Turkmenistan not having a shot on goal in the first half. However, Turkmenistan again show their defensive qualities and go into halftime with the score 0-0.

Turkmenistan change to a slightly more defensive formation for the second half, but ironically they start attacking more.

Just when it looked like the game would be a forgetful 0-0 draw, Hermandinho chopped down Peirone in the penalty area in the last minute of normal time. Up stepped Collocini who smacked the ball into the back of net. Heartbreak for Turkmenistan, 0-1

A shame for Turkmenistan as that draw would have been very handy going into the last round of matches.

Ghana 0 v 1 Switzerland

Turkmenistan 2 v 1 Ghana

Turkmenistan Player Stats

Selim Atas leads out the same team as who played in the other group matches. Ghana line up in a 4-4-2 formation. Turkmenistan probably need to win this game to progress. Only Gonzalez and Dumats are currently on a yellow card so could face suspension from the 2ndround if they pick up a yellow in this game.

A pretty even first half hour, with both sides testing the keepers. However, after 35 minutes, the deadlock is broken – Selim Atas firing in a 30 yard half volley past the despairing Ghanian keeper. 1-0

Atas had a great chance to double the lead before the break, one-on-one with the keeper, but the keeper pulls off a fine acrobatic stop.

Halftime scoreline in the other game is Argentina winning 1-0 against Switzerland so it’s looking good for Turkmenistan at the moment.

Bad start to the second half for Turkmenistan as Hermandinho is sent off for a 2nd yellow card and will miss the 2nd round match if Turkmenistan progress.

The second half was fairly end to end as Ghana dominated possession with their man advantage, but Turkmenistan tried to pick them off on the counter. As injury time approached it was still 1-0, with Rhys Davies putting in a sterling performance. However, in injury time with Ghana streaming forward, they manage to sneak themselves an equaliser with a deflected shot.

Bizarrely and almost suicidally, Turkmenistan change to 3 -2-4 formation as they search for a win they don’t need as Switzerland lose 0-1 to Argentina. However, the high risk tactic pays off, with Gareth Davies scoring from a goalmouth scramble in the 5th minute of injury time at the end of the game. 2-1

Switzerland 0 v 1 Argentina

Group G Table

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