OJ403 Posted December 2, 2018 Share Posted December 2, 2018 1 hour ago, ManUtd1 said: His path to the job was an odd one, too. Leaving Derby for Palace...who he left for QPR...who he left for Bristol City...who he left for Watford...who sacked him. Got sacked by West Brom. Then 2 years back at Derby, before taking over the national team. Seemed to be always looking out for something "better." Thats him all over. Not quite sure what the Stoke/Brummie contingent is on here but thats pure Rowett. When he gets the job its his dream job, cons the fans into loving him, then leaves them in the sh*t when he spies more money. Out of interest whats your record like against him? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted December 3, 2018 Author Share Posted December 3, 2018 6 hours ago, OJ403 said: Thats him all over. Not quite sure what the Stoke/Brummie contingent is on here but thats pure Rowett. When he gets the job its his dream job, cons the fans into loving him, then leaves them in the sh*t when he spies more money. Out of interest whats your record like against him? Definitely looks like the path he's taken in-game! Our paths have rarely crossed. I've won 2 from 2, both matches from the 2038/39 Premier League season. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
OJ403 Posted December 3, 2018 Share Posted December 3, 2018 6 hours ago, ManUtd1 said: Definitely looks like the path he's taken in-game! Our paths have rarely crossed. I've won 2 from 2, both matches from the 2038/39 Premier League season. You have to wonder whats gone wrong when a Derby fan is pleased to see his team lose to Dirty Leeds... 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted December 3, 2018 Author Share Posted December 3, 2018 4 hours ago, OJ403 said: You have to wonder whats gone wrong when a Derby fan is pleased to see his team lose to Dirty Leeds... Or when a United supporter gleefully takes Dirty Leeds into the Champions League... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
OJ403 Posted December 3, 2018 Share Posted December 3, 2018 2 hours ago, ManUtd1 said: Or when a United supporter gleefully takes Dirty Leeds into the Champions League... Something I could never do Phil Jones is more likely to score a penalty past Scott Carson than me ever manage Leeds 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
rodesire Posted December 3, 2018 Share Posted December 3, 2018 I see Belgium opened up! Combined with Brugge could be a fun 5-7 years 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted December 3, 2018 Author Share Posted December 3, 2018 Being a top seed does have its advantages... 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted December 4, 2018 Author Share Posted December 4, 2018 7 hours ago, OJ403 said: Phil Jones is more likely to score a penalty past Scott Carson than me ever manage Leeds 2 hours ago, rodesire said: I see Belgium opened up! Combined with Brugge could be a fun 5-7 years Agreed completely! Belgium has so much untapped potential... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adonalsium Posted December 4, 2018 Share Posted December 4, 2018 dear god there's a re-redux now? 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted December 5, 2018 Author Share Posted December 5, 2018 12 hours ago, Adonalsium said: dear god there's a re-redux now? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted December 5, 2018 Author Share Posted December 5, 2018 (edited) I'm bringing sexy back... Leeds United / Netherlands -- November 2042 Casillas pulled me aside tonight, after we beat France in Amsterdam and secured passage to the Nations League semifinal. He's having money trouble. He wouldn't explain it fully, just muttered something about "currency arbitrage." Zlatan tells me he's been seeing a British woman, the sister of one of our supporters -- that hooligan, Bob, or something... It's a bad crowd. Regardless, Iker is a friend in need. Even if his current grooming and fashion habits leave him looking and smelling like a washed-up Ricky Martin. He doesn't want a loan, and prefers to call it an "investment opportunity." He won't explain. But he's a friend. So I "invest" with him...what's a friend to do? Edited December 5, 2018 by ManUtd1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adonalsium Posted December 5, 2018 Share Posted December 5, 2018 Surprised to see Burnley doing so well. What's the tactic looking like these days? Are you still sticking with winger- and strikerless? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sir_Liam Posted December 5, 2018 Share Posted December 5, 2018 You've made great progress since I last posted, and Leicester City have turned into a European superpower. Such a shame Nagelsmann left, to be replaced by Guardiola. Things don't seem to have been as good since then. As you've been hinting, you definitely need to get to France or Spain next because of the dominance of PSG and Real Madrid. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted December 5, 2018 Author Share Posted December 5, 2018 (edited) 8 hours ago, Adonalsium said: Surprised to see Burnley doing so well. What's the tactic looking like these days? Are you still sticking with winger- and strikerless? Since joining Leeds, I've primarily been playing a tactic I call PM Drakens Blod as the default. I recently switched over to PM Grapefrukt Diarre as the counter/backup tactic. I'm using these same tactics with the Netherlands. Strikerless, but with wide attacking midfielders: 4 hours ago, Sir_Liam said: You've made great progress since I last posted, and Leicester City have turned into a European superpower. Such a shame Nagelsmann left, to be replaced by Guardiola. Things don't seem to have been as good since then. As you've been hinting, you definitely need to get to France or Spain next because of the dominance of PSG and Real Madrid. Thanks, man! Definitely been an issue since Pep the Bald took over. Luuk de Jong and Daniel Christensen couldn't right the ship. Lukas Rupp is now in charge. I love that they're now playing in a 57.5k stadium named after Ranieri -- seems fitting. Their attack is insane, too, with Ristov (who some may remember from my Gladbach side), Neyra and Pinto (from my Portugal side). They beat me to signing Farquhar, though...brilliant Scottish midfielder. Edited December 5, 2018 by ManUtd1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted December 5, 2018 Author Share Posted December 5, 2018 Fantastic draw for the 1st knockout round. I love facing Real Madrid. And we've got some "different" faces this time around, too. Very nice. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted December 5, 2018 Author Share Posted December 5, 2018 Time to start up the bus for Belgium 2044. Zlatan decided to commission Snoop Dogg to write the official Dutch Euros song. That'll end well, I'm sure. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted December 5, 2018 Author Share Posted December 5, 2018 (edited) The club isn't pleased. Iker is distracted while in Amsterdam and abroad...which we've certainly noticed. But it is now having a tangible effect on his obligations to the club. I told Zlatan to sort it out yesterday, and he apparently confronted Casillas. Iker agreed..but asked Zlatan for a favor...instead of flying back to Leeds for our run of matches over New Year's, Iker asked Zlatan to drive his girlfriend's Mercedes back to England, on the Amsterdam-Newcastle ferry. "Simple trip, mate. I'll make it worth your while." "But the Zlatan does not like the ferry." "Would 15k in pure cheddar make you want it a bit more?" "The Zlatan does not eat cheese, you know this." "Not...just....cash. Not cheese." "The Zlatan does not get out of bed for 15k, in any currency. Except ZlatanBucks. Those are invaluable." "Ehhh...how about 30?" "50." "35?" "60." "That's not how you negotiate, Zlatan!" "It is how the Zlatan negotiates. Do you want the Zlatan to go 70?, because--" "--no, no. Fine. 60." "Deal. It is nice doing business with the Zlatan, yes?" 60 thousand, to drive a car onto a ferry? Something isn't right here. Zlatan told me not to worry...so I'm most definitely worried. Edited December 5, 2018 by ManUtd1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sheriff7 Posted December 6, 2018 Share Posted December 6, 2018 What happened to Red Star??? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted December 6, 2018 Author Share Posted December 6, 2018 4 minutes ago, Sheriff7 said: What happened to Red Star??? Fortress Belgrade happened. They got 2 massive wins at home after winning away to Zenit. While Partizan continue to dominate domestically, Red Star and Cukaricki have done relatively well in Europe. The Super Liga is ranked above the top tiers in Portugal, Belgium, the Netherlands, Turkey, Russia, etc. 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted December 6, 2018 Author Share Posted December 6, 2018 I'm bringing sexy back... Leeds United / Netherlands -- March 2043 The final whistle blows. Eddie Howe's Real Madrid are eliminated, 4-2 on aggregate. We're six points clear in the League, having already claimed the Community Shield and Carabao Cup. We've got the tools to fight on all 3 remaining fronts...even if the sheer number of matches feels overwhelming at times. Focus, lads. Immortality awaits. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted December 6, 2018 Author Share Posted December 6, 2018 We draw Cristiano Ronaldo's Nantes, he'll get a warm welcome in Yorkshire, no question. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
HawkAussie Posted December 6, 2018 Share Posted December 6, 2018 Umm you have posted that same message three times. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted December 6, 2018 Author Share Posted December 6, 2018 1 minute ago, HawkAussie said: Umm you have posted that same message three times. The forum was glitching about 30 minutes ago, error messages everywhere. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted December 6, 2018 Author Share Posted December 6, 2018 File the 2nd win under "3 points are 3 points." Not the most impressive win ever, but that Switzerland match... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted December 6, 2018 Author Share Posted December 6, 2018 Elland Road was a seething cauldron of hote, welcoming Ronaldo for the first leg. Inflatable sheep wearing his jersey, with his face plastered on...everywhere. And, by comparison, that was the intellectual banter of the evening. I can't in good conscience explain what else was going on...and when we laid into Nantes, I've never heard the Yorkshire faithful so loud. Afterwards, Zlatan and Iker demanded that we celebrate, even though we have 90 minutes to play next week in Brittany. We agreed, but insisted on no alcohol, an early night, etc... "Boss, you need to celebrate." "Iker, we're only halfway there, with a match away to Cardiff in less than 72 hours." "Just a little gathering, Boss, that's all. You, me, Drake, Zlatan...just like old times. I've got some friends who want to meet you." "Old times? You weren't part of the old times, Iker. While we were in Germany, Italy...you were here. In f***ing Yorkshire." "That's not the point, Boss--" "--and, friends? I don't...just...we don't have the time or the energy for this." "You've been single for far too long, Boss. Come on, live a little." As much as I hate to admit it, Iker is right. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted December 6, 2018 Author Share Posted December 6, 2018 Our concentration slipped in Brittany, but we had done more than enough in the 1st leg. I'm disappointed in the squad, but we have... No. That's not right. Truth be told, I'm disappointed in myself. I let Iker distract me...and Adela is delightful. We don't speak a language in common, but we've found a way to communicate. I just don't know why she keeps texting with Iker, I mean...he's protective of her, like an older brother, but this seems to have gone a bit far. Back to the football...Adela is heading back to Slovakia to visit with family for a few days. We're 8 points clear with 4 to play...in the FA Cup and Champions League semifinals. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted December 6, 2018 Author Share Posted December 6, 2018 We draw Slobodan Medojevic's Leipzig...big match ahead, lads. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted December 6, 2018 Author Share Posted December 6, 2018 A massive win, even if we missed an opportunity to bury Ze Germans. City on the weekend, before the 2nd leg at Elland Road. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted December 6, 2018 Author Share Posted December 6, 2018 Focus, lads. Focus. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted December 6, 2018 Author Share Posted December 6, 2018 An emphatic win. We're through. 2 finals to play. Immortality awaits. Adela was here to see it. Although I don't understand why she insists on taking the ferry. I need to have a word with Iker. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted December 6, 2018 Author Share Posted December 6, 2018 A Roses Derby. At the Signal Iduna. For the Champions League title. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
MadCatPT Posted December 6, 2018 Share Posted December 6, 2018 You have to win so we can have Gar-Fox: 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted December 6, 2018 Author Share Posted December 6, 2018 Champions League Final, May 2043; Signal Iduna Park "Good evening and welcome to Germany, the Land of Chocolate! I'm Jamie Carragher, and here with me is Gary Neville, live from the side of the pitch as these two titans of European football prepare to clash in a rematch of last year's epic semifinal." [Gary screams incoherently in the background, his mic clearly disconnected.] "Yes, well, that's Gary for you. I tried to warn...but nevermind. We've got Jean Bleu's Leeds United -- winners of the Community Shield, Carabao Cup, FA Cup and Premier League -- eager to add to their trophy cabinet after heartache last year. You'd have to think they are the favorites, on form. It is also impossible to look past their demolition of Nordi Mukiele's United in the semifinals last year -- a 3-3 draw at Old Trafford where the hosts should have counted themselves lucky to escape, followed by a 7-1 drubbing just up the road at Elland Road. While United are no pushover, I cannot look past Leeds tonight. If they perform up to Bleu's standards, they should prevail. Any thoughts, Gary?" [Gary can be hearing chanting in the background. "WE ALL HATE LEEDS SCUM, WE ALL HATE LEEDS SCUM, WE ALL HATE LEEDS SCUM, WE ALL HATE LEEDS SCUM!!!! BAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!"] "Thank you, Gary, for that insightful, witty banter. We all appreciate your contributions here tonight, I'm sure." [Gary climbs across the makeshift anchor desk and charges the cameraman, screaming like a sheep. The producer cuts away just as the cameraman is knocked over, the shot spinning wildly, to a view of the squads walking onto the pristine pitch, the Champions League anthem blaring in the background.] Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted December 6, 2018 Author Share Posted December 6, 2018 Early control from Manchester, but as we know all too well…and there it is! Leeds launching forward in transition, at pace. It could easily be 1-nil, there. [Gary sings loudly in the background.] Solid save from Barrionuevo in the United goal has kept them in it…corner driven it…it falls to Biggs, who lays it off for…YES, THAT’S MUTOMBO!!! THE CONGOLESE DREAM!!! HE’S DONE IT!!! ONE-NIL TO LEEDS!!! [Gary screams with rage in the background.] Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted December 6, 2018 Author Share Posted December 6, 2018 (edited) And just like that, United are up against it. Leeds, pressing…probing...confident. United look scared, chasing shadows. Forbes…finds Biggs…THAT’S 2!!! A GOAL MADE IN LEEDS!!! UNITED ARE SINKING FAST!!! [Gary screams non-stop for 30 seconds begging for offsides, before passing out due to a lack of oxygen, in the background.] Offsides? Gary, you’ve lost your head. There were three United players between Biggsy and the keeper! No conspiracy, folks. Just Gary showing his colors, yeah? A bit of passion is never a bad thing in football, is it, Gary? [Gary lies on the floor, drooling from the corner of his mouth.] Edited December 6, 2018 by ManUtd1 Fixing screenshot Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted December 6, 2018 Author Share Posted December 6, 2018 United to sort themselves out…enjoying a spell of possession here as Dalton breaks through, but Mbele stands tall in the Leeds goal. Corner to United…but Leeds clear with ease, looking to press forward again. Not good enough from United, not by a long shot. [Gary appears to have woken up, but sits in the corner, moaning softly, drool still hanging from the corner of his mouth.] Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted December 6, 2018 Author Share Posted December 6, 2018 Halftime here in Germany, and while Manchester have had the possession, they've nothing to show for it. All sizzle, no steak, Gary...kind of like your missus, eh? [Jamie nudges Gary playfully with his elbow. Gary does not respond. He just stares quietly into the middle distance, occasionally mumbling softly to himself about possession being 9/10ths of the law.] Well, tick tock, United supporters. This is right where Bleu wants you -- downhearted, down 2 and forced to chase the game. I suspect we'll see Leeds sitting deeper this half, looking to pick their moments going forward, and kill off the match with a third goal. Make no mistake, United must score -- and score early -- to get back into this match. [Gary continues to drool from the corner of his mouth.] Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted December 6, 2018 Author Share Posted December 6, 2018 Gonzaga in space on the right wing...crossing...Mbele...WHAT IS HE DOING?! THAT'S ONE FOR UNITED!!! 2-1!!! WHAT A MISTAKE FROM THE SOUTH AFRICAN, FLAPPING AT THE CROSS LIKE A CHRIST IN A CRUCIFIX SHOP!!! HE COMPLETELY MISSES IT AT THE NEAR POST, WITH FERNANDEZ ON HAND TO TAP IT IN!!! EXACTLY WHAT LEEDS DID NOT NEED, TO START THIS HALF!!! [Gary appears to have regained lucidity, and is jumping about the studio, drool sliding down his chin, screaming madly.] Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted December 6, 2018 Author Share Posted December 6, 2018 BUT NO!!! NO GOAL!!! THE FLAG IS UP!!! A FOUL ON MBELE IN THE BUILD-UP!!! LEEDS, SAVED BY THE WHISTLE!!! MBELE'S BLUSHES SPARED!!! [Gary begins to rage, aggressively leaping about the studio like a 17 year-old malcontent at a Nirvana concert, circa 1991. Drool continues to slide down his chin as he makes sheep noises in Jaime's ear.a] Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted December 6, 2018 Author Share Posted December 6, 2018 DALTON, OFF THE CROSSBAR!!! UNITED GO CLOSE AGAIN!!! You have to wonder, don't you, Gary -- are Leeds sitting too deep, inviting too much pressure?! [Gary begins to sing a new song about Roy Keane, Peter Schmeichel and a Yorkshire lass they meet while on the **** in London, to the tune of 'Supercalifragiliciousexpialadocious.'] Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted December 6, 2018 Author Share Posted December 6, 2018 Another ball off the crossbar from United...Dalton rising to meet a Fernandez cross at the near post...flicking it against the crossbar, like a fair maiden swatting at a pesky fly...United must do better! Leeds are meeting them at every turn. 20 minutes to play here in Germany. [Gary continues to sing joyfully, although his rage is growing again as the clock ticks down. Drool continues to slide down his chin.] Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted December 6, 2018 Author Share Posted December 6, 2018 AND AGAIN THE WOODWORK SAVE LEEDS UNITED!!! MBELE TIPPING FERNANDEZ'S SHOT OFF THE POST FROM CLOSE RANGE!!! BUCKLE UP, THESE LAST 15 MINUTES ARE BOUND TO BE INTENSE!!! [Gary screams in rage about the round posts, insisting that if "standard issue" octagonal posts were in use, United would be up 3-2 by now. He can be heard muttering, "it's simple maths, innit" as the drool pours down his chin. Jamie, concerned about Gary's incessant drool, begins to wonder just how many horse tranquilizers the producers gave him after he passed out in a fit of rage, earlier in the match.] Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted December 6, 2018 Author Share Posted December 6, 2018 (edited) 10 minutes to play, Gary, and I think even you would have to admit that Jean Bleu and his men have played United like a cheap fiddle tonigh-- [Gary leaps upon Jamie with a wordless screech akin to that of an amorous hyena, scratching at his eyes like an enraged honey badger.] Edited December 6, 2018 by ManUtd1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted December 6, 2018 Author Share Posted December 6, 2018 [Muffled sounds of struggle continue over the ambient sounds of Signal Iduna Park, as the fourth official holds up a board showing there will be 4 minutes of extra time. The Leeds supporters dance wildly, inflatable sheep being passed around like beach balls at a Grateful Dead concert. Zlatan, standing in the Leeds technical area, has attached one to his waist, each successful pass, tackle and clearance leading to a hypnotic thrusting of his hips.] Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted December 6, 2018 Author Share Posted December 6, 2018 (edited) [As the final whistle sounds, shouts of joy erupt around the stadium. Leeds United have done it. Champions of Europe, at the expense of their historic, hated rivals.] [Even the UEFA Chairman cannot contain his spontaneous joy, as he bestows a Champions League winners' medal upon the inflatable sheep still attached to Zlatan Ibrahimovic's waist. The image of Zlatan's crotch-chopper celebration, shirtless with a medal-wearing inflatable sheep, will forever be seared in the minds of football supporters around the world. An iconic moment on an iconic night.] Edited December 6, 2018 by ManUtd1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rikulec Posted December 6, 2018 Share Posted December 6, 2018 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted December 6, 2018 Author Share Posted December 6, 2018 3 minutes ago, Rikulec said: 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fer Fuchs Ake Posted December 6, 2018 Share Posted December 6, 2018 Great result for the save, not a good result for football (if it happened in real life anyway). Congratulations, man! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted December 6, 2018 Author Share Posted December 6, 2018 You know, someone once told me time is a flat circle. Everything we’ve ever done or will do, we’re gonna do over and over and over again. Leeds United / Netherlands -- 2042/43 Season Review There's no question about it. We're beyond happy with the result in Germany. But it is with a heavy heart that we close the books on our time in Yorkshire...we've come so far and built a side that should compete for years to come -- both in England and on the Continent. And we did it playing sexy, high-scoring football. The time has come to move on. Offers are already on the table, as our MO is well-documented at this point. But we are men of discerning tastes -- Drake, Zlatan and I...and I guess Iker, too. He's somehow made himself indispensable to our little crew. Goals for 2043/44: Wait for the right club opportunity to open up, ideally in France or Spain. Squad|League Overview|Finances Overview|Income Detail|Expenditures Detail|Transfers Premier League Fixtures (1)|Premier League Fixtures (2)|FA Cup Fixtures|League Cup Fixtures|Champions League Fixtures Champions League Review This is heavily documented above. There's no better way to end my time at Leeds, than with a win over United in the Champions League final. Leipzig is looking like they could become eligible (or win the title outright) at any point. Challenge Overview Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted December 6, 2018 Author Share Posted December 6, 2018 48 minutes ago, Fer Fuchs Ake said: Great result for the save, not a good result for football (if it happened in real life anyway). Congratulations, man! Thanks, man! The next step is an open question right now...there is one tantalizing possibility, but it isn't available just yet. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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