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Blanco

Which celebrity deserves to be crowned 'King of the Jungle 2008'  

5 members have voted

  1. 1. Which celebrity deserves to be crowned 'King of the Jungle 2008'

    • Tyler Burrows
      2
    • Sylvester McCoy
      1
    • Beat Takeshi
      1
    • Henry Windsor
      1

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Blanco

Blanco

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World Cup 2014 Second Round: England vs Greece

Two changes to the England team - Rooney comes back from being rested to replace Takeshi, and Micah Richards replaces Tyler Burrows

15th minute: Very tense and tight opening quarter to the game - No chances as yet

20th minute: McCoy puts a freekick into the box. It is headed away, but only as far as Richards, whose pinpoint pass finds Rooney, who fires home for his 60th international goal

England 1 - 0 Greece

26th minute: Rooney gets on the end of a long ball from Rose, and he beats his man, and crosses for Windsor to head home at the back post

England 2 - 0 Greece

Half Time: England 2 - 0 Greece

52nd minute: Greek corner. Crossed in by Papadopoulos (great name). Burrows makes a good save from the initial header, but the rebound is stabbed home by Dimoutsos

England 2 - 1 Greece

58th minute: Stig puts it down the line to Rooney, whose cross is headed away, and Stig's shot on the run is hihg, wide, and not too handsome

59th minute: Kone goes close for Greece, Burrows slowing the shot down, and Andre hacking it off of the line

76th minute: McCoy is replaced by Benson-Phillips as England look to close the game out

84th minute: Steven Taylor and David Bentley replace Danny Rose and Big Bob - England switch to 5-3-2

93rd minute: Windsor can win it here for England, one on one with the keeper, but Papawhat'shisname smothers at his feet

Full Time: England 2 - 1 Greece

MOM: Rooney again!! MOM in every game he's played...

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Blanco

Blanco

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World Cup 2014 Quarter Final: England vs Mexico

The winner of this tie will earn the right to play Portugal in the semi

England keep the same team as the rather nervy win against Greece.

The mysterious man predicts a penalty shoot-out, but England should win this despite the threats of Guardado, Vela and Dos Santos

24 seconds: What a start for England! Ball comes back to Vader from the kick off, he dribbles for a while and finds McCoy. A one two with Windsor is followed by a breathtaking shot from the corner of the box into the far corner. Mexico's first touch is the keeper picking the ball out of the net

England 1 - 0 Mexico

1 min 46 sconds: Disaster for Mexico again! Rooney latches onto a dodgy backpass seconds after the kick-off and beats Ochoa with consummate ease

England 2 - 0 Mexico

5th minute: Penalty! Windsor is clearly obstructed as the cross comes in and McCoy has the chance to make it 3 - 0 after just five minutes... Sends the keeper the wrong way, and it's 3 -0

England 3 - 0 Mexico

7th minute: Stig finds McCoy, he beats his man and rifles one across Ochoa into the bottom right. 7 minute hattrick - is this the fastest ever by a midfielder???

England 4 - 0 Mexico

18th minute: Windsor heads it into the path of Rooney, but his shot clips the outside of the post with Ochoa well beaten. The Mexican players are crying...

26th minute: Windsor heads narrowly wide following a Bob cross

27th minute: Windsor's header is tipped over the bar, this time from a cross by House. The corner hits the first man. Oh dear...

32nd minute: McCoy finds Windsor, who cooly makes it 5

England 5 - 0 Mexico

43rd minute: McCoy and Stig exchange passes, the ball finds its way to Windsor, and his shot is deflected into the path of Rooney, whose shot is uncomfortably saved

Half Time: England 5 - 0 Mexico

74th minute: McCoy and Rooney recieve a standing ovation from both sets of fans as they are replaced by Bush and Takeshi

81st minute: Takeshi's shot is well saved by Ochoa in the first chance of a dire second half. Windsor is replaced by Craig Douglas

Full Time: England 5 - 0 Mexico

MOM: Unsurprisingly, Sylvester McCoy... What does he have to do to get 10/10??? 3 goals and an assist obviously not good enough

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Blanco

Blanco

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World Cup Semi Final: England vs Portugal

Rooney is dropped to the bench for this game - he is replaced by Beat Takeshi

Otherwise the team is the same as previously. The winners of this will face our old nemesis, current world champions and European runners-up, Spain, in the final.

The mystery predictor goes for a penalty shootout again... Let's hope he is as wrong as he was last time

22nd minute: Windsor's header is comfortably saved by Fernandes in the Portugal goal

28th minute: Bob's corner is headed wide by Richards

39th minute: Moutinho's attempted placed shot goes high and wide

46th minute: Nani's corner finds Miguel Veloso (who has got away from Takeshi) at the near post and he heads home. The ref then blows for half time

Half Time: England 0 - 1 Portugal

48th minute: England look a bit sharper - McCoy, controlling the play, finds Takeshi, who slips it through to Windsor, whose shot is just wide

51st minte: Moutinho's shot is well saved by Burrows

62nd minute: Rooney and Douglas replace Windsor and Takeshi

68th minute: Stig robs Moutinho, but his shot is straight down the middle and easily saved

75th minute: Benson-Phillips replaces McCoy. Why?

76th minute: Benson-Phillips finds Rooney, who puts Douglas in but his shot is saved

88th minute: House's freekick finds Douglas, but his header hits the bar

91st minute: Vader gives a way a penalty on a Portugal breakaway, and it's surely all over now. Ronaldo cooly slots home and that's it

Full Time: England 0 - 2 Portugal

That's it for another 4 years... I really thought we could win this one but I guess our young team will only get better...

Season Update to come later...

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Blanco

Blanco

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End of Season 2013/14

The season draws to close with the England team unexpectedly eliminated in the World Cup semi final (meaning that two of our Forummers have been eliminated this season)...

Arsenal win the League and the Champions' League, Spurs win the FA Cup, and Man Utd reclaim a Champions' League spot as well as winning the Carling Cup. Big Bob comes second in the Serie A with Juventus, and Valencia win the UEFA Cup.

With the two competitors eliminated today, eleven of the sixteen have left the competition. Just five remain in the race for the title of "King of the FM 08 Jungle". Over to Ant & Dec in the jungle...

Ant: Evening, everyone, and welcome back to Underhill. We have a very special guest tonight, winner of Series 4 of 'I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here', comedian Joe Pasquale.

Dec: But before we hear what Joe has to say, let's get on with the eviction...

Ant: OK then, tonight, ladies and gentlemen, we have two people to evict tonight due to England's lacklustre performance in the World Cup. Firstly, a previous winner of the show, pantomime hero, television actor, and all around good egg, Christopher Biggins.

Biggins: Hallo, hallo, hallo, everyone.

Dec: Christopher, how do you feel?

Biggins: Well, you know, obviously I'm a bit upset and all that, but, well, I felt that that extra year I spent stranded in Australia really held me back. Then I spent some time stuck up in Sunderland, and I still haven't really got to a big club.

Ant: Thanks, Biggins. Our next contestant is a little bit of a surprise. He is, undoubtedly, one of the stronger candidates. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the stage one of our most insignificant candidates, a man without even a Wikipedia page, Arsenal goalkeeper, Tyler Burrows

Dec: Well, Tyler, what's going through your head?

Burrows: I'm gutted. This scoring system is clearly biased against goalkeepers. Note: He is probably right... sorry PluckADUCK... How am I supposed to win this stupid contest when you win so many points for scoring goals and creating assists? I am the best player in the world and I'm not even in the top six of this stupid f****ing contest.

Burrows storms out

Ant & Dec: in unison Oooooooooooooooh....

Dec: Anyway, after that interesting experience, let's go over to Joe for the new rules this year.

Pasquale: Hellooooooooooo, everyone. Here are the latest rules for the competition. A further two celebrities will be eliminated after this season, leaving four left for the live final.... One celebrity will be eliminated the traditional way, the other will be eliminated by being the worst player (lowest average rating) for that season alone. For the alert ones among you, the numbers don't add up - this is beacuse the player who plays the most games (league, cup and Europe) will also qualify, even if they have already been eliminated

Comments, suggestions and feedback all welcomed...

Dr Nick 34

George Bush 51

Dave Benson-Phillips 53

Brian Blessed 58

Darth Vader 58

Peter Andre 62

Craig Douglas 63

Nakano 67

Christopher Biggins 75

Tyler Burrows 76

Stig 78

Big Bob 91

Beat Takeshi 93

House 106

Henry Windsor 110

Sylvester McCoy 119

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Blanco

Blanco

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OK, here we go again...

End of Season Report: 2014/15

On the transfer front, Dr Nick has arranged a £23 million move to join Big Bob and George Bush at Juventus, but the biggest move was our first Forummer to enter La Liga. Beat Takeshi finally leaves Spurs after years of moaning, and joins Catalan giants Barcelona for £43.5 million, just short of the forum transfer record.

Arsenal retain the Premier League, with Chelsea, Liverpool and Newcastle taking the CL spots. West Brom and Man Utd take the UEFA Cup spots, and Man City join them with a 3 - 1 win over Everton in the FA Cup Final. Man Utd defeat Arsenal in the Carling Cup, and Portsmouth take advantage of Aston Villa not applying and claim the Inter Toto place. Barca win the Champions' League, and Newcastle beat Sevilla to claim the UEFA Cup

Now for the individual awards: Henry Windsor pips Valeri Bojinov and Fernando Torres by one to the top goalscorer award. McCoy cruises to the assist award, and Vader beats off competition from the Stig, House, and Peter Andre to be the league's top tackler. McCoy takes Footballer of the Year, closely followed by Windsor. Biggins is second behind Newcastle's Joao Moutinho in the Player's Player of the Year. Windosr, McCoy, Stig and House are in the Team of the Year, with Nakano and Biggins on the bench.

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Blanco

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Over to Ant & Dec in the jungle for tonight's elimination:

Ant: Evening, everyone.

Dec: Now, before we start tonight's proceedings, let's refresh you all on the special rules for this season.

Ant: OK then. Two celebrities will be eliminated, one the normal way, and the other will be the player with the worst average rating.

Dec: However, to make up the numbers, one of our celebrities will return. The player who plays the most games in all competitions for their club will return for the Grand Final

Ant: Right then. The next celebrity to be eliminated ... is .... world-famous anonymous racing driver...

Dec: (cutting in)Some say that his voice can only be heard by cats, and that he has two sets of knees... all we know is, he's called the Stig

Ant: So, Stig, how do you feel?

Stig: ....

Ant: That's for all the cats out there...

Dec: How bizarre. Anyway, the second celebrity to leave the jungle, on the basis of lowest average rating this season, is... the second of our fictional television doctors, Dr Gregory House...

Ant: So, Dr House, what's going through your mind right now?

House: Do I get bonus points if I act like I care?

Dec: No

House: Well then, I'm off

Ant: Charming....

Dec: Now for the man who will return... Who is it then, Ant?

Ant: Well, Dec, the man who will return played an incredible 60 games for his club this season. He won the Premier League this season and has won 50 caps for England. Ladies and gentlemen, please give a warm welcome to the man who is officially the best player in the world, Tyler Burrows...

Here are the latest scores:

Dr Nick 28

Dave Benson-Phillips 46

Brian Blessed 50

Peter Andre 58

Craig Douglas 61

Darth Vader 63

Nakano 71

Christopher Biggins 78

George Bush 83

Stig 86

Big Bob 97

Tyler Burrows 109

House 109

Beat Takeshi 124

Henry Windsor 127

Sylvester McCoy 132

Screenshots on the way...

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Blanco

Blanco

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Screenshots and info on everyone (in no particular order)...

Peter Andre

Profile: http://i361.photobucket.com/albums/oo54/criz_white/AndreProfile.jpg

History: http://i361.photobucket.com/albums/oo54/criz_white/AndreHistory.jpg

Current CA: 191

Dave Benson-Phillips

Profile: http://i361.photobucket.com/albums/oo54/criz_white/BPProfile.jpg

History: http://i361.photobucket.com/albums/oo54/criz_white/BPHistory.jpg

Current CA: 177

Christopher Biggins

Profile: http://i361.photobucket.com/albums/oo54/criz_white/BigginsProfile.jpg

History: http://i361.photobucket.com/albums/oo54/criz_white/BigginsHistory.jpg

Current CA: 183

Brian Blessed

Profile: http://i361.photobucket.com/albums/oo54/criz_white/BlessedProfile.jpg

History: http://i361.photobucket.com/albums/oo54/criz_white/BlessedHistory.jpg

Current CA: 185

Big Bob

Profile: http://i361.photobucket.com/albums/oo54/criz_white/BobProfile.jpg

History: http://i361.photobucket.com/albums/oo54/criz_white/BobHistory.jpg

Current CA: 194

Tyler Burrows

Profile: http://i361.photobucket.com/albums/oo54/criz_white/BurrowsProfile.jpg

History: http://i361.photobucket.com/albums/oo54/criz_white/BurrowsHistory.jpg

Current CA: 199

George Bush

Profile: http://i361.photobucket.com/albums/oo54/criz_white/BushProfile.jpg

History: http://i361.photobucket.com/albums/oo54/criz_white/BushHistory.jpg

Current CA: 190

Craig Douglas

Profile: http://i361.photobucket.com/albums/oo54/criz_white/DouglasProfile.jpg

History: http://i361.photobucket.com/albums/oo54/criz_white/DouglasHistory.jpg

Current CA: 190

Dr Gregory House

Profile: http://i361.photobucket.com/albums/oo54/criz_white/HouseProfile.jpg

History: http://i361.photobucket.com/albums/oo54/criz_white/HouseHistory.jpg

Current CA: 194

Sylvester McCoy

Profile: http://i361.photobucket.com/albums/oo54/criz_white/McCoyProfile.jpg

History: http://i361.photobucket.com/albums/oo54/criz_white/McCoyHistory.jpg

Current CA: 194

Ricky Nakano

Profile: http://i361.photobucket.com/albums/oo54/criz_white/NakanoProfile.jpg

History: http://i361.photobucket.com/albums/oo54/criz_white/NakanoHistory.jpg

Current CA: 188

Dr Nick Riviera

Profile: http://i361.photobucket.com/albums/oo54/criz_white/RivieraProfile.jpg

History: http://i361.photobucket.com/albums/oo54/criz_white/RivieraHistory.jpg

Current CA: 187

The Stig

Profile: http://i361.photobucket.com/albums/oo54/criz_white/StigProfile.jpg

History: http://i361.photobucket.com/albums/oo54/criz_white/StigHistory.jpg

Current CA: 190

Beat Takeshi

Profile: http://i361.photobucket.com/albums/oo54/criz_white/TakeshiProfile.jpg

History: http://i361.photobucket.com/albums/oo54/criz_white/TakeshiHistory.jpg

Current CA: 194

Darth Vader

Profile: http://i361.photobucket.com/albums/oo54/criz_white/VaderProfile.jpg

History: http://i361.photobucket.com/albums/oo54/criz_white/VaderHistory.jpg

Current CA: 191

Henry Windsor

Profile: http://i361.photobucket.com/albums/oo54/criz_white/WindsorProfile.jpg

History: http://i361.photobucket.com/albums/oo54/criz_white/WindsorHistory.jpg

Current CA: 193

Running out of room in my Photobucket album... so any previous screenshots that I posted will no longer work...

Also, some people's histories are wrong.. for those of you who moved to England first it deleted your stats from one season, but they are still recorded on my spreadsheet.

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The Lambs

The Lambs

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Have you seen his international goalscoring record??? It's quite something...

On another note, having to do all those screenshots really gave me respect for what you do every season with more players for Luton...

His international record is pretty fantastic.

I can't argue with you about the screen shots being a pain in the butt, they do add something to the sign ups. Trouble is, I bet 90% of us only look at our player and no one else.

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  • 3 weeks later...
  • 2 weeks later...
Adam C

Adam C

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Not in this, but it is a quality sign up I must say :thup:

An idea for the final could be to; Have the players final seasons stats shown to everyone, then everyone in the sign up could send you a vote for the winner? The if it's a tie, you could make the deciding vote over the whole careers of the players who have drawn in the voting.

Just an idea :)

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Blanco

Blanco

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We aren't dead yet gentlemen... Have been going through a very stressful time at work recently, but that all finishes on the 18th, so I will finish this off then. I know it's been cruel to leave you for so long just before the end.

Cheers for the feedback as well - may well use some of this

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Blanco

Blanco

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I'm A SI Forummer... Get Me Out Of Here - The Grand Final

Ant: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to this, the live final of this season's competition

Dec: Yes, welcome, and I'm sure you'll all agree that this is going to be very exciting

Ant: Now, here to illuinate us all on the rules for the grand final, here is the current holder of the I'm a Celebrity title, Eastenders actor Joe Swash!!!

Swash: Oi oi... Right then. The grand final is divided into six stages. The competitors will be ranked 1-4 on their performance in each event and the totals will be added to find this year's champion...

Stage 1: The Canoe Race

Each contestant will be given a tree branch, a paddle and a very sharp spoon. The first participant to hollow out the log, make a seaworthy canoe, and paddle it down the rapids to the end of the course, will get four points. The second contestant to finish will get three... etc

(In FM terms, first one to score or create a goal!)

Stage 2: The Locust Swallowing Challenge

Each contestant will be forced to lie on their backs, with their eyes closed and their mouths open. Another contestant will then drop locusts into their gaping mouths one by one, until they cannot take any more. The participant who swallows the most locusts will get four points...

In FM terms, this means don't get booked!

Stage 3: The Clean Sheet Challenge

Each week, one of the contestants is put in charge of washing all of the laundry for the camp. The candidate who completes the washing in the shortest amount of time to the satisfaction of our adjudicator - who, for this task, will be I'm A Celebrity failure, and former daytime TV presenter, Robert Kilroy-Silk.

(Exactly what it says in the title!)

Stage 4: The Consistency Test

The scores for all the trials that these four competitors have taken part in will be added up, and placed in rank order

(This is your career average rating)

Stage 5: Can You Perform Under Pressure?

All four contestants will be standing on a wobbly bridge suspended 10 metres above a lake. Robert Kilroy Silk will bomard the candidates with instructions to perform various acrobatic moves, whilst (a potential future contestant as rumour has it) Mr T. will fire rubber balls at them from our patented Rubba-Cannon...

This is your average rating over the 2016 World Cup

And finally...

Stage 6: The Public Vote

Again, exactly what it says on the tin. A poll shall be taken, and the contestants given points dependendant on how popular they are...

So the final four are....

Tyler Burrows

Beat Takeshi

Henry Windsor

Sylvester McCoy

Results to come...

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Blanco

Blanco

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Stage One Results:

Takeshi wins this one, with a hattrick of assists in his first game of the final season. Henry Windsor scores 8 minutes into Chelsea's second game of the season, a 2-2 draw at Goodison. McCoy scores in the 66th minute of the same game to claim third place. Burrows (as a goalie) was always going to struggle with this one..

Stage Two Results:

Takeshi is also the first person to be booked, with Burrows following closely behind... Windsor gets booked for diving in the seventh game of the season, meaning that McCoy gets maximum points.

Stage Three Results:

Takeshi's Barcelona concede in the first twenty seconds of the season, but still win 6-1. Not even Chelsea can hold out till half time, but Tyler Burrrows and Sylvester McCoy get their clean street.

Scores so far:

Windsor: 3 + 3 + 2 = 8

McCoy: 2 + 4 + 3 = 9

Burrows: 1 + 2 + 4 = 7

Takeshi: 4 + 1 + 1 = 6

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