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Which celebrity deserves to be crowned 'King of the Jungle 2008'  

5 members have voted

  1. 1. Which celebrity deserves to be crowned 'King of the Jungle 2008'

    • Tyler Burrows
      2
    • Sylvester McCoy
      1
    • Beat Takeshi
      1
    • Henry Windsor
      1

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Blanco

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mackem forever - Don't worry, no one is left at Australian clubs

Can't remember whether you are George Bush or Christopher Biggins, so will post details of both:

Bush joined Villa, where he is earning 7.25k a week

Biggins is at Sunderland, earning 23,000 a week but struggling to break into the first team

At February the 1st, two of our players look in danger of not having Premiership football next season... Nick Riviera's West Ham are just scraping into the play-off places in the Championship, and Peter Andre's Bolton are in the relegation zone, but only a point behind Everton in seventeenth. The Forummers also have the top goal scorer in the premiership, the man with the most man of the matches, and the man with the highest average rating...

Who are these three players? Answers on a postcard please...

Also, any feedback / suggestions would be welcome...

In the January transfer window:

Stig moves from Man Utd to Chelsea for £18.25 million

Little else of interest happens... Benson-Phillips is linked with a move away, but stays put at Man City now that he's getting first team football

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Blanco

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End Of Season Update... 31st May 2011

Peter Andre's Bolton side have been relegated from the EPL - but he may well move on. He is currently considering an extension with Bolton, but Arsenal, Chelsea, Inter and Juventus are all interested...

Nick Riviera's West Ham crushed Crystal Palace 5 - 1 in the Championship playoff final

Chelsea won the league, with Arsenal and Spurs joining them in the Champions' League next season. Liverpool and Middlesborough will compete in the UEFA cup next year, and Coventry, Bolton and Reading will be plying their trade in the Championship. West Ham, Derby and Ipswich will replace them in the Premiership in 2011/12.

Manchester United triumphed in the Champions' League, with a 1 - 0 victory over Real Madrid courtesy of Wayne Rooney.

Hull beat Reading in the FA Cup Final - European football beckons for the first time in their history

Arsenal won the Carling Cup - 1 -0 after extra time against Everton in the final.

As far as Forummers go, Henry Windsor was the biggest success. He won the Top Goalscorer award, with 22 goals - 2 more than Jermaine Defoe - won more man of the match awards than anyone else (7), and had the joint highest average rating alongside John Terry. It's safe to say that he won't be going home just yet. Sylvester McCoy provided the 4th most assists, with House and Vader taking 2nd and 3rd respectively in the tackle count.

Full stats and latest eviction to follow when I've done the figures... May give out some awards as well

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Blanco

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Eviction No. 4 - 2011

The end of the 2010/11 season begins the start of speculation about who is going to leave the jungle. Well, the votes have been counted, the phonelines are now closed, and a decision has been made. But before we announce the unlucky loser, here are a few awards...

Top Goalscorer so far:

Henry Windsor - 49

Top Assister:

Sylvester McCoy - 25

Best Average Rating:

Christopher Biggins - 7.41

Highest CA:

Beat Takeshi - 16th best in the world

Now, over to Ant & Dec in the jungle:

Ant: Evening everyone, and welcome to Underhill, the highest profile stadium we could get at such short notice.

Dec: Ladies and gentlemen, Underhill is the home of Barnet FC, a proud Coca-Cola League 2 Club, with a long and ...er... inglorious history. And, for those of you who are wondering what we're doing, we are gathered here tonight to hear an announcement from the powers that be. Oh, and don't forget that we're here for an eviction as well.

Ant: So, Londoners, can you please show your appreciation for local boy, and the winner of the first season of I'm A Celebrity, Mr Tony Blackburn...

[[Muted applause and the occasional sarcastic cheer[/i]

Blackburn: Evening, all. As this is now the seventh series of I'm A Celebrity... and we are now in the fourth season, the format, as I'm sure you'll agree, is getting ever so slightly repetitive. So, in view of sliding viewing figures, the producers have decided to spice it up a little for the fifth season...

Here are the all-new rules:

  • The bad behaviour of the contestants has been noticed, and the producers have decided that the next contestant to recieve a red card will be eliminated from the competition
  • We cannot tolerate Forummers not being in the top division. If any contestant plays for a club not in the Premiership (or foreign equivalent) at the end of the season will be eliminated
  • The Premiership is the best league in the world. Therefore, the best players in the world should play there. Any Forummer who moves abroad will be deducted 5 points
  • Forummers should be playing international football. Any contestant who has not represented the senior England team by the end of the European Championships in 2012 will be eliminated

Ant: Wow, thanks Tony. Now for tonight's eviction...

Dec: Tonight's evictee has been in the bottom half of the league table every time so far. I'm sure he's seen it coming, he's been close to leaving before.

Ant: Ladies and gentleman, please welcome a former children's entertainer and host of BBC's Get Your Own Back, a king of children's TV whilst we were still in Byker Grove. Here he is, it's Manchester City central midfielder Dave Benson-Phillips

Dec: How do you feel, Dave?

Dave: Not too bad boss, to be honest I've been underperforming in the whole series so far, my average rating is the worst of all the players. I probably deserved to go, but I'm gutted. I've let my friends down, I've let my family down, but most of all I've let myself down.

Ant: So ladies and gentlemen, 4 candidates have left the jungle, 12 remain.. Here are the scores so far:

Sylvester McCoy 129

Beat Takeshi 117

Henry Windsor 115

Big Bob 111

Stig 107

House 94

Tyler Burrows 91

Christopher Biggins 90

Peter Andre 78

Brian Blessed 71

Craig Douglas 71

George Bush 67

Dr Nick 52

Darth Vader 50

Nakano 50

Dave Benson-Phillips 44

Please give feedback, constructive criticism and any suggestions you may have...

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Blanco

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Peter Andre moves from relegated Bolton to join fellow Forummer Beat Takeshi at Spurs in a £14.5 million pound deal

Sylvester McCoy signs an £86,000 a week 5 year deal with Villa - now the 3rd highest player

Takeshi's new deal takes him to £97,000 a week - the highest earner of the Forummers (5 million a year...)

Spurs also bid £18.6 million for Darth Vader, but he chooses to sign a new deal at Man Utd

Barcelona, Inter and Arsenal are targetting McCoy despite the new deal, with bids of £28 - £42 million - but all are rejected

Everton and Middlesborough have bids rejected for Dave Benson-Phillips

Dr Nick has to choose between Spurs and Newcastle after the West Ham board accepted £14 million offers - he ends up joining Ricky Nakano at Newcastle, who will hope to displace Owen, Martins and Ashton for a regular first team spot this season

Nakano may well be moving on though, with offers tabled from Arsenal, Liverpool, and Man City. Man City's offer is the only one accepted and he joins Dave Benson-Phillips at Middle Eastlands

Villa make a 22.1 million pound bid for Darth Vader... but that is rejected

Liverpool, Arsenal, Middlesborough, Spurs and Everton place £20 million + bids for Benson-Phillips

Villa, Spurs, Marseille and Man City make £20 million + bids for Christopher Biggins

George Bush is the first SI Forummer to get red carded, but he is already out, so the wait goes on...

End of transfer window...

Next update will be at Feb 1st... unless we get a red card...

I want to add in a few more new rules starting next season for eliminations... but have few ideas for what they could be so would be delighted if you could help out...

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Blanco

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5th Eviction... 9th October 2011

Ant: Welcome back to the jungle, ladies and gentlemen. One of the Forummers has broken the new rule about discipline, and therefore will have to leave the game.

Dec: Oi! Fatty, get over here!

Ant: So, Big Bob, why did you do it? [Author's note: Bob was sent off half an hour into Villa's 1 - 0 win over Ipswich for headbutting Kenwyne Jones

Big Bob: Well, you know, he started my mother names, and all that, tripping me when the ref wasn't looking and stuff. Then he called me fat, and I ain't fat, I've got a slow metabolism

Dec: And a fast pie arm...

Big Bob: Will you... anyway, I just nutted him quickly when I thought the ref wasn't looking, but that sodding linesman... I'm gutted - sick as a parrot

5 down, 11 remain. Only one will... you know the rest

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BP_Doosra

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Good to see Dr House is up there for the most tackles. I shouldn't have any trouble with the new rules apart from the red card one but hopefully I will have calmed down since the first season where I got 2 red cards at least.

Hopefully I can get some Champions League gametime.

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Blanco

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February 1st Update...

Christopher Biggins signs for Manchester City in a deal worth £20.5 million pounds

Inter offer £25 million for Big Bob, but it is turned down

Sylvester McCoy rejects deals with Inter, Juve and Arsenal to stay with Villa

Brian Blessed signs a new 5 year deal at Chelsea worth £43,500 a week

Sylvester McCoy leads the assist ratings, with Peter Andre will be less happy with topping the red card table

BIg Bob is unhappy, after having bids from Inter and Juve rejected, and wants to leave Villa

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Blanco

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henry Windsor seems to be in the top half every time, I have got to be in with a shout of winning.

"One's mummy will be delighted."

I hate to break it to you like this, but mummy's gone. She won't be coming back (sad face)

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Blanco

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End Of Season Update: 24th May 2012

Liverpool win the league, as the Big Four return to what they believe are their rightful positions in the Champions' League spots. Spurs, Pompey and West Brom take the UEFA Cup positions.

Arsenal win the FA Cup, overcoming Chelsea in the final 2 - 1 aet, and beat Man United 4 - 0 in the final of the Carling Cup to do the 'unwanted double'

Real Madrid are champions of Europe, and Roma will join them in the Super Cup after beating Valencia in the UEFA Cup Final..

In the European Championships, England have Ukraine, Russia, and old enemies Portugal in the group stages.

Now for the real news... Over to Ant & Dec in the jungle:

Ant: Hello everyone, and welcome to the latest edition of I'm A SI Forummer, Get Me Out Of Here.

Dec:Tonight, we're broadcasting from a chilly Underhill once more, where another local lad and former I'm A Celebrity champion is here with us. Ladies and gentlemen, please give a huge welcome to ex- international cricketer and captain on TV's A Question Of Sport, Phil Tufnell.

Applause, whoops, etc

Tuffers: Alright, everyone?

Crowd cheers

Tuffers: Right then. The producers have given me a bag full of twenties to come and tell you all this, so here goes. Here are the rules for the next season:

  • Forummers must be playing in the top league in their country - or they will be eliminated
  • Forummers must be capped for the England senior team by the end of the European Championships of June this year
  • Forummers playing abroad will recieve a 5 point penalty
  • Anyone who plays less than 15 league games this season will be eliminated
  • Anyone (other than Tyler Burrows the GK) who does not score or provide a goal will be eliminated

Now, back to Ant & Dec for the elimination. Thank you.

Ant: Things don't look good for Ricky Nakano and Brian Blessed, do they?

Dec: No, Ant. They need to force their way into Paul Jewell's plans very quickly or they will be eliminated.

Ant: Anyway, tonight's eviction.. The Manchester United starlet will not be happy to leave the contest at this point, it's safe to say.

Dec: I'm a little worried about this one... Mr Vader, I am sorry to say that you have been eliminated from this year's I'm A SI Forummer, Get Me Out Of Here..

Vader: (choking Dec) I find your lack of faith disturbing

Ant: Lord Vader, you may reenter the competition... please?

Vader: You have learned much, young one

10 burly men enter the room, and carry Vader, who is struggling fiercely, out of the stadium)

Ant: Phew, glad that one's over... I will just confirm that Darth Vader is out of this year's competition.

Vader: (muffled cry from afar) There is no mistake. Don't make me destroy you...

Dec: (croaky) Join us next time for the next episode of I'm A SI Forummer, Get Me Out Of Here

Here are the scores:

George Bush 49

Darth Vader 55

Dave Benson-Phillips 57

Nakano 57

Dr Nick 59

Brian Blessed 70

Stig 71

Craig Douglas 74

Peter Andre 79

Christopher Biggins 86

Tyler Burrows 92

Big Bob 104

House 106

Henry Windsor 123

Sylvester McCoy 125

Beat Takeshi 127

Updates on the 2012 European Championships to follow.. Feedback gratefully recieved as always... Thanks for reading

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Blanco

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Euro 2012 - Hosted by Poland and Ukraine

Big Bob has agreed a 29 million pound move to Juventus, with Man Utd paying £20 million for the services of George Bush.

Barcelona, Inter, Arsenal and Real Madrid have tabled £34 million bids for Sylvester McCoy - which the board have accepted

Man Utd manager Roy Keane is also interested in signing Dave Benson-Phillips

11 out of our 16 Forummers have made the England squad for Euro 2012 - Dr Nick, Ricky Nakano, Brian Blessed, George Bush and Christopher Biggins are the unlucky ones that haven't made it..

This means that two further Forummers have been eliminated... Say goodbye to Ricky Nakano and Brian Blessed

Game 1 - England vs Ukraine

GK: Burrows

DL: House

DC: Andre

DC: Terry

DR: Richards

ML: Bob

MC: Gerrard

MC: McCoy

MR: Wright-Phillips

FC: Rooney

FC: Takeshi

Vader, Windsor, Stig and Douglas make the bench

5th minute: House and Bob link up well down the left flank, but Bob's driven cross is well cleared

16th minute: Bob, marauding down the left flank after being released by Gerrard, finds Wayne Rooney, who's shot hits the post

21st minute: House picks up a yellow card

23rd minute: Wright-Phillips whips one in, and pressure from Rooney forces Rusol to head into his own goal. Brilliant finish, though. In off of the post!

England 1 - 0 Ukraine

45th minute: Wright-Phillips goes on a mazy run, and his cross finds Steven Gerrard, who cushions it for McCoy, who balloons it well over the bar

Half Time: England 1 - 0 Ukraine

46th minute: McCoy is show a yellow card

52nd minute: Yakovenko finds Dedechko, whose shot from the edge of the area is saved comfortably by Burrows

56th minute: Gerrard robs Dopilka, and his through ball finds Takeshi, who coolly rounds the keeper and slots into the empty net

England 2 - 0 Ukraine

65th minute: Andre taps the freekick to Gerrard, whose shot is deflected twice and well saved by Lobont. However, Wright-Phillips gets there first and taps it home

England 3 - 0 Ukraine

66th minute: Gerrard and Takeshi replaced by Windsor and The Stig

72nd minute: Richards finds McCoy, who puts it through for Wright-Phillips. He drills it in for Windsor, whose shot is brilliantly saved by Shust. IT's hacked clear as far as House, but the cross is punched clear by the Ukrainian keeper.

73rd minute: McCoy picks up an injury, but isn't replaced

75th minute: Dedchenko's corner is caught by Burrows

77th minute: McCoy is taken off for Michael Carrick

87th minute: Andre finds Rooney, but his shot is deflected behind for a corner. Bob's corner finds Rooney, but his header ripples the side netting

92nd minute: Bob's cross finds Rooney, whose bicycle kick goes high and wide Ed: Does anyone ever score them???

Full Time: England 3 - 0 Ukraine (Rusol OG 23, Takeshi 57, Wright-Phillips 66

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Euro 2012 Match 2 - England vs Russia

England keep the same lineup, with Russia playing a 3-5-2 formation with the much-hyped Andrey Arshavin playing behind the two strikers. Should be space for Wright-Phillips and Bob to exploit. The game marks Steven Gerrard's 100th game for England

6th minute: Bob curls one from fully thirty yards which grazes the crossbar as it whistles past

13th minute: House finds Rooney, whose slide rule pass puts Beat Takeshi through on goal, and he makes no mistake

England 1 - 0 Russia

16th minute: Arshavin finds Prudnikov, who is miles offside. No flag from the linesman, and he has a simple finish to level it up.

England 1 - 1 Russia

18th minute: Richards drives a low ball from deep. Takeshi steps over it and Rooney hammers it into the foot of the post

21st minute: Burrows makes a fantastic save from a long range freekick from Prudnikov

30th minute: Big Bob picks up a minor injury

34th minute: McCoy picks up the ball in a seemingly innocuous position, beats Bilyatedinov and smashes it into the far corner. Brilliant!

England 2 - 1 Russia

36th minute: Gerrard finds Big Bob, whose cross finds Takeshi, and his header is superbly tipped over by Akinfeev

37th minute: Kerzakhov scores a goal as good as McCoy's - his bullet shot from 25 yards goes in off the inside of the post

England 2 - 2 Russia

46th minute: Takeshi finds Wright-Phillips, who returns the favour with a tantalising cross which Takeshi cannot miss, and he heads home

England 3 - 2 Russia

What a first half!!

47th minute: Bilyatedinov's freekick is deflected, but well saved by Burrows, and Andre picks up the pieces

59th minute: Kerzhakov exposes Terry's lack of pace, but fires well over the bar...

63rd minute: McCoy picks up another slight knock

80th minute: McCoy is booked

87th minute: Wright-Phillips and Takeshi link up well once more, but Takeshi's shot is saved by Akinfeev

88th minute: McCoy fires a vicious volley, which hits a defender in the face and bounces clear. McCoy picks up the rebound, and curls it beautifully into the top left to cap a magnificent performance

England 4 - 2 Russia

90th minute: Stig, Downing and Ashley Cole replace Wright-Phillips, Bob and Rooney

Full Time: England 4 (Takeshi 14, 45, McCoy 35, 89) Russia 2 (Prudnikov 17, Kerzhakov 38)

MOM for Sylvester McCoy, with a 9 for Beat Takeshi as well

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Blanco

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Euro 2012 Match 3 - England vs Portugal

England are through with two wins out of two, whilst their opponents prop up the group after an 0 - 0 draw with Russia and a 2 - 1 defeat by Ukraine

In other news, Sylvester McCoy has chosen Arsenal - he will move there for a fee of £34 million

Craig Douglas is on the transfer list at his own request - £30 million bids have been tabled by Arsenal and Real Madrid, with a cheeky £20 million bid from Man City

Spurs have put a £15 million pound bid for Dr Nick

On the season summary:

- Dave B-P picks up the top assister award

- Prince Harry has the highest average rating

- Riviera wins the dubious honour of being named the second worst signing of the season

- Sylvester McCoy retains the Player's Young Player award

Now to the match...

Stig replaces Sylvester McCoy, as he is suspended for picking up two yellow cards

6th minute: Burrows makes a great save from Moutinho

10th minute: Rooney heads narrowly over from a Gerrard cross

15th minute: Burrows makes a wonderful save, tipping Tiago's shot round the post

31st minute: Burrows makes another good save to deny Cristiano Ronaldo

44th minute: Stig hits one high and wide

Half Time - Stalemate thus far, and Paul Jewell brings on Craig Douglas for Beat Takeshi

58th minute: Douglas hits a snapshot on the turn just over the bar

61st minute: Downing replaces Big Bob, to the sound of groans from the England fans

73rd minute: Ashley Cole replaces Shaun W-P

79th minute: Downing's freekick is deflected into the path of Gerrard, whose shot is well saved

83rd minute: Douglas turns Carvalho, but his shot is saved

89th minute: Stig's drive is saved, and Douglas is on hand to tap home the rebound... but the linesman disallows it for offside. Douglas is furious - as is the Stig, who recieves his second yellow card for dissent, and duly departs

93rd minute: Downing steals the ball from the Portuguese right back, and his shot forces a corner, but it is easily cleared

Full Time: England 0 - 0 Portugal

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Blanco

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Barca bid £34 million for Dave B-P, and Newcastle reject the bid from Spurs for Dr Nick

Euro 2012 - England vs Czech Republic

The winners will face either Spain or Germany in the semi-final. The Czechs qualified second in the group behind Italy - beating the Danes and the Poles

McCoy returns for England after suspension - with the Stig dropping to the bench

4th minute: House puts the freekick in. Gerrard knocks it down to McCoy. He shoots, but it is charged down. It drops kindly for England, falling to Gerrard, who keeps his nerve and slots it past Petr Cech

England 1 - 0 Czech Republic

14th minute: Takeshi picks up a fine ball from Burrows. He feeds Wright-Phillips, whose cross is blocked behind for a corner. Bob's corner is poor, and easily cleared

25th minute: Wright-Phillips is obstructed by Kadlec, and a freekick is given. England waste it, though

31st minute: A well-worked move by England results in Takeshi's effort flying over the bar

35th minute: Gerrard hits it into the side netting following a corner

43rd minute: Rosicky's long range effort is easily saved by Burrows

Half Time: England 1 - 0 Czech Republic

54th minute: Burrows saves another Rosicky long range shot

57th minute: Gerrard's corner is headed in at the near post by Terry - simple but effective

England 2 - 0 Czech Republic

67th minute: Carrick replaces Takeshi. Wright-Phillips finds Rooney with a cross but he heads wide

75th minute: Windsor replaces Wright-Phillips

76th minute: Fenin whistles one over the crossbar

81st minute: Carrick heads well wide from a Gerrard corner

90th minute: House to Rooney. Rooney to Gerrard, but the shot is just over

91st minute: Gerrard's shot is well saved by Cech

Full Time: England 2 (Gerrard 5, Terry 58) Czech Republic 0

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Man City Supporter

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92nd minute: Bob's cross finds Rooney, whose bicycle kick goes high and wide Ed: Does anyone ever score them???

I'm sure I've seen K-J Huntelaar score one for me.

In other news, Sylvester McCoy has chosen Arsenal - he will move there for a fee of £34 million

- Sylvester McCoy retains the Player's Young Player award

I'm doing great here! KUTGW Blanco

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Blanco

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OK Folks... we are having a mid-game break... short attention span means I have got hooked on my 12 Leagues game again

This isn't dead, will post the latest update when I do it - may well be on Friday as I have lots of free time then..

Sorry for the wait

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Blanco

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Right... tried holidaying but forgot just how long it takes now we are five seasons or so in...

Will holiday overnight tonight and will hopefully have an update for you tommorrow morning (if not then almost certainly in the evening barring an emergency)

Any feedback / suggestions for new season-long rules???

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Blanco

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Right everybody... we are back, after a short mid-season break we return to our celebrities, who've all managed to escape from the footballing backwater of the A-League in Australia. All of them have played in the best league in the world, the English Premiership, with four Forummers (has a nice ring to it) being part of the title-winning team. Just one of the players has moved abroad, but a contract at Italian giants Juventus is hardly a step down...

These players have the potential to become the best in the world at their respective position, and at the tender age of just 22 years of age, I may now reveal that 3 of the top 5 players in the world (according to Genie Scout) are Forummers.

However, life for the Forummers isn't as easy as we all might like to think... Every season, one of them will leave the competition, and this will be judged not only by their raw talent, but by how they've put it to use in playing games, scoring and creating goals, and of course earning stackloads of cash. More recently, former winners of the competition have been introducing new, season-long rules that have resulted in more Forummers leaving the contest. After six seasons, half of the Forummers have been eliminated, and it's certain that at least one will be eliminated during the seventh season.

Now, let's go live to Underhill to hear the wise words of Ant & Dec:

Ant: Thank you, mysterious narrator, and ladies and gentleman, we are delighted to welcome you to Underhill Stadium for the latest eviction. Tonight we also have some wise words for you from the winner of the third series of I'm A Celebrity..

Dec: Yes, everybody, Kerri Katona will be here tonight.

Silence, broken by one drunk shouting "Ugly wh**e

Ant: But first, let's get on with the eviction

Dec: Ok everyone, our latest evictee is the eldest celebrity on the show, he's a striker for the once-great Manchester United, please give a big hand for 1950s/60s pop singer, Craig Douglas.

Loud clapping and cheering

Ant: So Craig, how do you feel?

Craig: Well, you know, I am disappointed with being knocked out, but to be honest when we all came in I didn't think I would last that long. I've got plenty to be proud of, I've scored 49 league goals in my career so far, I've played for England three times and I'm at one of the most famous clubs in the world. I've had great fun, and I'm looking forward to seeing the wife and kids again. Cheers

Dec: What a lovely man.

Ant: Yes, ladies and gentlemen, that was Craig Douglas, coming to a Town Hall or cruise liner near you on his latest tour.

Dec: Now, before we go over to Kerri for the announcement of the new rules, here are the scores so far

Dr Nick 37

George Bush 42

Nakano 42

Darth Vader 57

Craig Douglas 64

Brian Blessed 68

Dave Benson-Phillips 69

Peter Andre 82

Christopher Biggins 86

Stig 89

Tyler Burrows 92

Big Bob 106

House 107

Beat Takeshi 123

Henry Windsor 129

Sylvester McCoy 132

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Blanco

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Kerri: enters the stage to wolf-whistles, ironic cheers and the occasional boo Good evening everyone. (obviously reading) I, Kerri Katona, winner of Season 3 of I'm A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here, am here tonight in order to tell you about the new rules that will be coming into play for the 2013/14 season.

- The contestants have not heeded the warning about discipline. Therefore, the player who picks up the most yellow and red cards (red cards count twice as much as yellows) will be eliminated

- Those who do not play at least one game in the World Cup of 2014 will be eliminated

- The progress of the national team has not ben as good as it should be. Forummers have a duty to do as well as possible for the England team. Therefore, the bottom 3 players will be eliminated if England fail to make the quarter-finals, 2 if they fail to make the final, and one if they make the final

This means that at least two players will be eliminated this season.

Hope you're enjoying it, please leave feedback etc..

Cheers

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Blanco

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May 2014 Awards Ceremony

Thought I'd just let you know how you're all doing in a little more detail than usual...

Top Scorer

Henry Windsor - the first man to 100 league goals

Top Assister

Sylvester McCoy - with 41

Best Player in the World (joint with Leo Messi)

Tyler Burrows - CA of 195

Note: 6 of the top ten players are forummers!

Best Paid

Tied between Big Bob and Sylvester McCoy at £115,000 per week

MVP

Henry Windsor - £32 million

Tallest Player

Stig & Henry Windsor - 192 cm

Heaviest Player

Stig - 90kg

World Cup 2014 to come, followed by elimination(s).

Note: No Forummer has been eliminated for poor discipline - noone left in the competition was sent off so I felt it would be a bit harsh

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Blanco

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World Cup 2014 - in Brazil

England have been drawn in Group F, which looks fairly easy. Holland will provide a decent test, but we should sail past Ecuador and Costa Rica...

England vs Costa Rica

GK: Burrows

DL: House

DR: Vader

DC: Andre

DC: Richards

ML: Danny Rose - Leeds youngster when the game starts I think

MR: Big Bob

MC: Stig

MC: McCoy

ST: Rooney

ST: Takeshi

Douglas, DBP, Bush and Blessed are amongst the substitutes - Windsor is suspended

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2nd minute: Lovely flowing move from England sees the ball go in a series of short passes from Stig, to McCoy, to Bob, back to McCoy, to Takeshi, through to Rooney, and Rooney puts it through the legs of the goalkeeper to become the all-time England top goalscorer. Or does he? He wheels around in disbelief as the flag is raised...

6th minute: McCoy plays a one two with Takeshi, and then finds Rooney. He's onside this time, and his fininshing is even better, curling it in off the far post from the corner of the box to overtake Bobby Charlton as the leading scorer with 57 goals

England 1 - 0 Costa Rica

8th minute: Burrows makes a superb save from a long range effort from Ruiz

12th minute: Andre picks up a booking and Big Bob a knock

13th minute: McCoy whistles one over the bar from just outside the box

30th minute: House finds Rooney, who hammers it over the bar from 30 yards

Half time: England 1 - 0 Costa Rica

45th minute: Takeshi latches onto a long ball from Stig, but his shot is poor and easily saved, and he hammers the rebound over the bar

55th minute: Rooney's freekick is saved well

56th minute: Stigs robs the CM, slips it through and Takeshi calmly finishes it off

England 2 - 0 Costa Rica

61st minute: McCoy finds Rooney, who hammers it in past the keeper at his near post. All too easy for England now...

England 3 - 0 Costa Rica

71st minute: Not much happening in the England half - Burrows gets his first touch of the second half (and his first since the 8th minute) via a passback

72nd minute: Cross comes in from Big Bob, the ball bobbles around in the box a bit before breaking to McCoy on the edge. He hammers it into the top right and punches the air....

England 4 - 0 Costa Rica

73rd minute: McCoy and Takeshi are replaced by Douglas and Benson Phillips

74th minute: Stig finds Douglas, who finds the bottom left

England 5 - 0 Costa Rica

75th minute: Danny Rose replaced by Brian Blessed

79th minute: Burrows is roused from his slumber and makes a fine save to deny Ruiz

87th minute: Blessed finds Douglas, who lays it off to Stig, but his drive is well saved by Navas. The corner is wasted....

Full Time: England 5 - 0 Costa Rica

MOM: Wayne Rooney

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World Cup 2014 Group F: England vs Holland

England, unsurprisingly, name an unchanged team.. The mystery man predicts a one nil win for England, but I reckon it's going to be tough, facing a front four of Babel, Robben, Sneijder and Van Persie

1st minute: Bob whips the corner in but Rooney heads just wide

15th minute: Holland string about thirty passes together, just toying with our defence and midfield. The ball eventually arrives at van Persie's feet. Burrows makes a great double save, but he is helpless as the third attempt, this time from de Guzman, rolls into the middle of the net

England 0 - 1 Holland

20th minute: England with an unbelievable counter-attack. Sneijder's corner is cleared to McCoy, who runs fully 50 yards past two players before setting off a string of passes which culminates in Takeshi putting Rooney through, and he makes no mistake

England 1 - 1 Holland

32nd minute: Three corners in a minute for England, but somehow the ball stays out of the net

42nd minute: Sneijder hits one over the bar

Half Time: England 1 - 1 Holland

52nd minute: Burrows makes a fine save after Sneijder's freekick is deflected into the path of Robben

58th minute: Bob's corner finds Richards, who calmly side-foots home for his first England goal!

England 2 - 1 Holland

75th minute: Benson-Phillips replaces Rooney

82nd minute: McCoy is replaced by Steven Taylor

92nd minute: Andre makes a fantastic saving tackle to deny Zeefuik

Full Time: England 2 - 1 Holland

MOM: Rooney again...

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World Cup 2014 Group F: England vs Ecuador

England are already guaranteed qualification, whilst Ecuador are all but out... a nothing game

Steven Taylor replaces the suspended Peter Andre, whilst Henry Windsor replaces Wayne Rooney

4th minute: Ecuador go close, but Burrows parries the shot and it is hacked clear

7th minute: Stig makes a bit of space for himself, and fires one in, but Viteri gets down well to his left

14th minute: Bob's corner is headed back to him by Stig, he crosses again and Windsor fires home through a crowd of bodies

England 1 - 0 Ecuador

15th minute: Bob picks up on the loose ball, beats his man, puts Windsor through, and he finishes with aplomb

England 2 - 0 Ecuador

29th minute: Stig slots a freekick from just outside the D

England 3 - 0 Ecuador

45th minute: Bob puts in a freekick, but it is headed narrowly over by Windsor

Half Time: England 3 - 0 Ecuador

47th minute: Bob's corner is headed wide by Richards

76th minute: Not much going on, but Ecuador break and Burrows is forced into action

80th minute: McCoy and Takeshi are replaced by Douglas and BP

Full Time: England 3 - 0 Ecuador

MOM: Windsor

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