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No tactical knowledge, man management, or footballing ability! Perfect.


Dejay

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High five for making money in the transfers.

*offers high-five*

*high five*

Had to mate, our financial situation is shambolic. Despite making a £34M profit last season we have only £1M in the bank..

Cheers SRL88 :thup:

Oooooh also, Farquhauson got his first England cap!

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August Update 2015/2016 West Ham United.

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A good month in the league, an utter failure in the cup. Balls.

We played very well against Spurs and Man United, and probably did deserve a win against United in all fairness. Good building block there.

The League cup game against Millwall was utter ****. I decided to rotate the side and it backfired big time. Our defence was crap, we couldn't keep the ball and to top it off Collins got injured. I guess they got retribution for the 6-0 last year that sent them down.

Also, Oriol has rocked the club by handing in a transfer request. Darn.

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Millwall biting you back in the bum.

Always seems to happen =/

September Update 2015/2016 - West Ham United.

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A terrible month for us, the Millwall loss seems to have really rocked us. We weren't bad against Newcastle really just couldn't break them down at all. Chelsea utterly battered us, I think they ended up with around 25 shots, it's a good job Bill played well because it could have been much worse for us.

The Leicester game was horrible. Mesbah got sent off on 17 minutes and then we had conceded 2 before the half hour mark. We battled on though and took control for parts in the second half. Cole's goal was too little too late for us. Bad times.

To be fair I think that our start to the season has been tough. Chelsea, Spurs and Man Utd are all regularly playing in Europe with top players and Leicester and Toon were both flying high in the top four.

As you may notice on the table below we have won a game, but that's the start of October ;) Any guesses on who we beat?

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October Update 2015/2106 - West am United.

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October was a little disappointing as I thought we could have probably won the Burnley game, but their keeper was immense, man of the match infact. The West Brom game annoyed me because we conceded a very late goal to draw West Brom level. We rode our luck against Liverpool and actually took the lead before half time. Carroll popped up from a corner to deny us though.

The Blackburn game was a game of two halves, poor in the first, and 3 goals down. We came back though and pulled two back and bombarded their goal but couldn't get a third.

The Bristol game was unexpected, I thought we could win but we utterly dominated them, a good boost to our goal difference but it hasn't helped us out of the drop zone. A good thing is the fact we haven't been losing that many so confidence remains high.

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Gonna be tough.

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Surprising news eh? Thought I'd make my first foray in to International football. The squad looks good and we've qualified for Euro 2016. I haven't been given any expectations yet but I would assume they will be to just put up a good fight.

My missus is Welsh though, so I may have to sabotage their tournament, just to annoy her :D

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Expectations will probably be sod all.

That's the way I like it ;)

November Update 2015/2016 - West Ham United / Wales.

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A good month, the only disappointing result came against Sunderland, who dominated us in truth. The Arsenal game was expected but we fought hard went toe to toe with them. It took a 93rd minute wonder goal from Chamakh to undo us.

The Man City result was special, if not lucky. We did actually have the better of the game and the result was just. We were lucky because we gave away two penalties, and Billy Boy produced a cracking save to deny Tevez his second goal from the spot. Wonderful result.

The Everton game was brilliant by us, we dominated them and were lethal up front. Another big boost to our goal difference, and a big step away from our relegation rivals.

In other new Chris Collins and Dugdale are developing very well due to their constant starting berths. They will both be very good players. The one main issue I have right now is picking a partner for Madlung. Novaretti and Reis are both error prone it seems and seem to make mistakes in every game. Something to look at in Jan.

I have also bought in 3 new scouts to broaden our horizons and find new players - of which they are doing well already.

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Got some nice results there to move you up the table. Congratulations on the Wales job too.
Starting to turn things arouns; I'd expect you to stay up now. Good job

Cheers lads :thup:

December Update 2015/2016 - West Ham United / Wales.

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A cracking month for us, dropping points only once and not losing! And nobody can say West Ham are boring this year, we're the league's top scorers but can't defend for toffee - check the Wolves game for example. The Spurs result was probably the best of the lot as they had picked up some form and looked dangerous but we defended resolutely and Collins popped up just after the break to grab us all 3 points!

Our front 3 have all been in fine goal scoring form this year with Collins on 14 goals, Cole on 13 and Dugdale on 7. After that though only Oriol has shown any real threat with 3. Speaking of Oriol it looks like he is 100% leaving now, his contract is up in the summer so I am hoping I can shift him for around £1M. I will need to replace him because he has been very good for us, and we only have Barrera and Morrision as back up really.

Up next is our game against Villa @ Villa Park in the F.A Cup. Tough fixture but if we play well we can win.

And on the injury front our defensive problems have gotten worse as our best defender Madlung is out for a month. We also have Morrision and Harding out now too.

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A very good end to the year for us see's us sitting mid table. I think we are pretty much safe now unless we utterly collapse. I have half an eye on a European berth too but I think that is out of our reach really but with only 7 points between 10th and 4th it is possible. We really need to keep our front 3 fit to stand any chance because well I don't have any others strikers.. At all.

Also, Wales have organised a friendly against Iceland in March. I might look to arrange one sooner as we need games before the Euro's.

Bring on 2016.

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January Update 2015/2016 - West Ham United / Wales.

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Back to usual then it seems. The Man Utd result was harsh on us, we held firm and hit the woodwork twice. It took a 92nd minute to steal them the points. We bested Liverpool for most of that match, but alas we conceded late on again.

The Newcastle game was probably my fault, they were 4th in the league and on a good streak. I decided to go gung-ho attack. We were 4-0 down by half time. :o Credit to us though we battled and got two goals back but too little too late. My bad.

I am really proud of the team I put out against Sunderland because Collins, Dugdale, Carrick, Morrison, Barrera, Simpson and Bosch were all out for the cup tie. I had to put out a patched up side (Oriol has signed with Athletico so I dumped him in the reserves, he shall not play again -.-) and we went 2-0 down with in 5 minutes. I changed things up a little and even played a left back as an AML because Sarno took a knock during the game. We didn't improve much till after half time when we took the game to them. They could have hurt us on the break if not for Bill in goal but we got lucky and Madlung grabbed a goal from a corner, before aforementioned left back playing inside forward Mesbah went on a mazy run and drilled into the far corner.

A good result in the end and gives us a more favourable clash at Upton Park. ]

On the transfer front we signed Oriols replacement - Sander Bosch from Exeter. The Belgian Youngster I signed whilst there has come on well and joins us for a fee of £2M. Madlung has signed a contract with Werder Bremen.

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So we still sit mid table still, still not 100% safe but I think we are comfortable. Europe is out of the question now so we shall just look to finish as high as possible and gain some much needed revenue.

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you can still make europe believe
Now there's an optimist.

Glass half full kinda guy =]

Mid-table would be a great finish for you!!!

Yeah, hopefully we can finish there.

February Update 2015/2016 - West Ham United / Wales

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A cracking month for us in all. We were unlucky against Chelsea in an open game we conceded late on once more. Since then we've been free scoring and eased past Sunderland in the FA cup. Up next will be Spurs at home. I think 10th is the best we can hope for now really but I will consider that a fantastic achievement considering our start to the season.

Shame we can't keep clean sheets but I like to attack :D Dugdale has also picked up a minor injury leaving me with only Carlton Cole as our senior striker. Oh dear.

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Up next is my first game in charge of Wales against Iceland..

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March / April 2015/2016 Update West Ham United / Wales.

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Well first off it's a two month update because I forgot to update :o

As you can see it's been a mixed two months. We've had some cracking results, and some miserable defeats so mid table is probably apt! First up you may notice the 8-0 against West Brom. I do not know what happened but we were awesome, scoring at will even after I rested the key players! Carlton Cole was gunning for the Golden Boot I think!

Then we hit a poor patch, playing poorly against Blackburn, then two tough fixtures against Arsenal and City. Credit to us though we battled and it took a balls up by Bill for City to break through. As you may have noticed too, Cosi Adams scored on his Debut against Arsenal, making him our youngest ever scorer! Whoop!

The spurs game in the FA cup was a very good performance, especially as Cole got sent off after 10 minutes to put us under the cosh. But we defended well (for a change) and took our chances.

3 days later came United at Wembley and we once again played very well. We took them to extra time but eventually their top class strikers made the difference. Proud of them, and out at the semi final.

The Wolves result was shocking, 5 down by half time, Leigh Griffiths tore us a new one. Good job we're safe!

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Two games left in the league then it's off to the Euro's for me. We're gonna try and nick 9th from West Brom so we can be proud of a top half finish. And then I need to rebuild my team as 9 are leaving in the summer. Maybe I'll leave too my contract will be up.

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Cheers lads!

End Of Season Update 2015/2016 - West Ham United.

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The last two games were easy wins for us against Villa and Bolton.

A brilliant season, after the first 10 games I thought we were doomed but we pulled together and dragged ourselves back up the table. A mid table finish is fair because, whilst we have had some cracking results we've chucked points away needlessly. Looking at that table too we were not a million miles away from Europe either. Our inability to defend seems to have cost us because as you see we topped the scoring charts for the league but conceded the 5th highest amount of goals. Imagine the possibilities if could defend!

We went out of the League Cup in round two, Millwall got retribution.

We went on a good FA cup run, beating Villa, Sunderland and Spurs before losing out to United in the semi's.

Key Players -

Carlton Cole - Been an absolute beast, 26 goals in 35 apps overall, also may have contested for the Golden Boot if not for injury and suspension. As his career is coming to a close he can be immensely proud of his performance this year. He's here until 2017 at the moment and we'll see how it goes but I'd like to make him a Hammers legend. Top stuff this year.

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Aaron 'Doug' Dugdale - The kid who was released by City. Had been tracking him since my time at Exeter and was astounded when City didn't offer him a new contract. I made him a big earner at a young age but knew if I tied him down he would make us a tidy profit if we ever sold. Been class mainly from the wing, but has done his part up front. 19 goals and 11 assists overall this year. Bright future. Been called up for the Euro's.

Chris Collins - The academy graduate - after being on loan last year he stepped up this year hitting 19 goals in 35 games. Not the best player in the world stat wise but the boy can finish. Missed out on the euro's unfortunately but will be well rested for next term!

Alexander Madlung - The big German, spent only one season with us before he moves to Bremen but has been utter class. The only decent defender we have has played his heart out. I'd hate to think how many we would have shipped if not for him. Sad to see him go.

Mark Noble - Once again ran things in the middle. Hand some stinkers like most of the squad but did his bit. 12 Assists and 2 goals.

Pablo Barrera - Once again made things happen from the wing, interest is high in him again and the thought of moving to a bigger club still lingers in his mind, this will probably be his last season with us, but 11 assists and 3 goals helped us big time.

Johan Martensson - Nobles main partner, ball winner but made things happen. 7 assists this term.

Bill Farquahrson - Won an England cap this year and is going to the euro's. The young keeper has been brilliant this year, turning in 6 clean sheets despite the awful defence in front of him. This kid is improving all the time. Future England #1.

Ravel Morrision did well when he wasn't injured, his pace troubles teams. Bosch came in, in Jan and made an impact, has a bright future if he can be more consistant. Oriol was class before he decided to go and sing for Atheltico so he spent 6 months in the reserves. Matty Taylor has a solid season before he retires. Cosi Adams signed as a school boy and scored 5 goals in 8 games. Big future.

Around the world -

EPL: Winner - Man Utd. ECC - Man City, Newcastle, Liverpool. Relegated - Stoke, Fulham, Everton.

Championship: Winner - Birmingham. Promoted - Norwich, Southampton. Relegated - Brighton, Leeds, Peterborough.

League One: Winner - Swansea. Promoted - Millwall, Colchester. Relegated - Leyton Orient, Scunny, Coventry, Fleetwood.

League Two: Winner - Walsall. Promoted - Gillingham, Stockport + .... Relegated - Torquay, Port Vale.

BSP: Winner - Crewe. Promoted - Cambridge. Relegated - Truro, Baintree, Woking, Dartford.

FA Cup - Arsenal. League Cup - Man Utd.

La Liga: Winner - Real Madrid. ECC - Barcelona, Valenica, Villareal. Relegated - Las Palmas ( I want to manage these guys in the future ), Tenerife, Valladolid.

Serie A: Winner - Juventus. ECC - Genoa, Inter, Palermo. Relegated - Ascoli, Bari, Catania.

Erdevise: Winner - Ajax. ECC - PSV. Relegated - Almere.

SPL: Winner - Rangers. ECC - Celtic. Relegated - St Mirren.

Belgian Pro: Winner - Anderlecht. ECC - Brugge. Relegated - Westerlo.

Swiss Super League: Winner - Young Boys. ECC - Basel. Relegated - Vaduz.

No major shocks this year. I am adding the MLS and Greek League now.

Former Clubs -

FC Zwolle - Got into play off's but lost out to Excelsior.

Exeter - Stayed in the Championship by the skin of their teeth, sold all of their best players too.

So a good season for us, something to build on. I have 8 leaving on free's in the summer but most don't play. The defence needs sorting big time. Maybe a push for europe is on the cards.

The euro's draw close and Wales are in it. We have a tough group with Portugal, Bosnia & Herz and Russia in it. Wish me luck, I'll see you in July.

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Good luck battling against second season syndrome

Hah thanks mate, I'm aiming higher :D

Great season mate. You deserve a medal for getting Carlton Cole scoring like that .
A knighthood even.

I agree, I'd like to be called sir :D

Great season man, was a good read

Thanks man, I try to entertain. :)

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Excellent recover, only two points off Europe too.

Get Dugdale in the England team, and Carlton Cole too, if he's scoring like that!

Cole didn't make the squad for some reason even though he outscored all other Englishmen bar Theo. Dugdale went though and scored a few too! Thanks man.

Finishing that close to Europe must be an incentive for next season, well done!

Thanks! Yeah Europe is the next target and something I want to step up to on this save. If we make a better start next term I think we might make it.

Good season on West Ham's Premier League return.

The Boy With No Name looks a decent prospect.

Haha the boy with no name is 'Dug'. Cheers mate, hoping for better next year!

Euro 2016 - Wales.

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So I go in to my first international tournament with only two friendlies behind us. First up was a 2-2 draw with Iceland as the team warmed to my tactics. Then came the Turks & Caicos Islands, purely to boost confidence which we did with a 5-1 win.

So as we set foot in France for the tournament we knew we had a big task ahead to do anything but lose the group. The guys were still gelling and not used to my style yet but that was tough because it was show time.

Portugal started off to a blinder with a goal within a minute. I thought things were going to get ugly as they continued to bombard our goal but we managed to hold firm and pulled one back through a James Collins header at the far post. From there we gained a bit of confidence and pressed more and rushed them into mistakes. Unfortunately for us our over exuberance going forward left us short at the back and Portugal quickly pressed home a two goal advantage just after half time courtesy of Oliveria's second and Rui Fonte bundling in from a corner. Bad times.

But no disheartened we came forward time and again determined not to go down without a fight and Bale tore the left wing up setting up Simon Church to tap in. Church then ran 30 yards past the Portugal defence to slam home from close range to draw us level! We backed off a little and defended resoulutely as Portugal pressed for the winner but we hit them on the break in the 87the minute to grab a dramatic winner through an Aaron Ramsay worldy. The roof went off and Welsh folk partied like 1999.

Wales 4-3 Portugal.

Up next came Bosnia, another tough game and once more we went down early to an early Ibricic goal, but if Portugal couldn't keep us down no way would we let Bosnia! We once more pressed the game even though we were under dogs and drew level through Simon Church once more! The boy was on fire. The next half an hour was end to end in truth and could have ended up anything but Church once more popped up late to give us our second win!

Wales 2-1 Bosnia & Herz

Up next came the toughest test in Russia, a very good and quite young squad. They were much better and outclassed us big time and we once again went down early to a Welliton goal this time! He then broke through our back line once again on the 17th minute to put us under massive pressure. His pace was just too much for us.

After the break we came back out and attacked from the go. Robson Kanu snatched a goal back just after the re-start and then Bale slammed home a 35 yard free kick to draw us level. Could it be? Could we come back again?

.. No, Welliton once more broke through our defence (swear he was offside -.-) and rounded our keeper to net his hat-trick.

Wales 2-3 Russia

No matter though because..

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We managed to top the group and go through to the next round! Brilliant!

Up next came Russia again, how not fun -.-

So I had Collins suspended which weakened our defence a lot I felt as he was by far our most talented defender. This time we held firm until after half time then Welliton raced past our defence to score. De ja vu?

Yep, he did it again 5 minutes later to finish us off. His pace and power was just too much for us and we couldn't cope. Our Euro dream comes to an end.

Wales 0-2 Russia

I was proud of the team, we weren't expected to leave the group stage apart from on a plane back to Wales, but we managed to top it and were in my opinion only undone by the brilliance of one man. The second game was a close encounter but we couldn't put our chances away and they did.

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All in all a good tournament for me, Wales and most importantly the West Ham lads. Bill started all of Englands group games but the Hart took over for the serious stuff. Dugdale also made appearances and scored a goal too.

See you in August!

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Quite a step up.

Let's hope I don't balls it up.

Lets hope you can get to grips with the different weather.

Don't forget to take these with you: :cool:

Haha cheers mate, and my factor 15!

Good luck with Spain :thup:

Cheers man :D

Just noticed this too..

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