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[FM 18] If You're Not First, You're Last (Re-Redux) - Redemption for the "Nearly Men" of Europe


ManUtd1
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20 minutes ago, ManUtd1 said:

I think you're confusing that, with the old Irish saying about taking a **** through the sunroof of a parked car.

Oh that could be it. Or else we're both confusing it for that other Irish saying about money always being in banana stands.

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Two matches kicking off within days of each other, but light years apart in terms of their importance.  Portugal, a meaningless friendly against New Zealand.  Sampdoria, a top of the table clash at the Luigi Ferraris against Inter.

Two matches.

Two wins.

On the cusp of a miracle, as we hold the tiebreaker against Inter thanks to a draw at the Guiseppe Meazza earlier this year.

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The entire season will come down to 90 minutes of football.  We're at the Luigi Ferraris against Brescia.  Inter host Carpi.  Juventus host Napoli. 

However this season ends, we've accomplished far more than we ever thought possible.  

We have no reason to expect Inter to fall on their faces 2 weeks in a row...  But Zlatan and Drake are refusing to brush their teeth and the like.  Just to be on the safe side.  As one does.

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You should try not to talk so much, friend. You'll sound far less stupid that way.

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UC Sampdoria / Portugal -- 2035/36 Season Review

What a year.  That's all that can be said.  14 months into our tenure, and we're challenging for the title?!  We're untouchable.  Unless it all falls to pieces.  Then we'll be buried in the Can Breat.

Goals for 2036/37: Make a run at the Euros with Portugal.  Qualify for the Champions League in 2037/38.

Squad|League Overview|Finances Overview|Income Detail|Expenditures Detail|Transfers

Serie A Fixtures (1)|Serie A Fixtures (2)|TIM Cup Fixtures

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Champions League Review

Booooooring.  Pep the Bald's Chelsea take the title, meaning that England's grip on the Champions League remains strong.  

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Challenge Overview

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Ok, time for a quick look around Europe before we press on to Scotland/Wales 2036 and a Portugal squad review (likely to come tomorrow).

Diego Simeone's West Ham claimed the Premier League, only for Diego to leave for Barcelona mere days later.  The Midget Beast continued Gladbach's reign of terror in Germany. Antonio Conte's Real Madrid and Nagelsmann's PSG did their usual thing.  Tayfun Korkut's Partizan went unbeaten, yet again, extending their streak to 78 games (a far cry from the prior 315-match streak started under Jean).  Phillipe Clements' Club Brugge won their 3rd straight title in Belgium.  Korosh Hatami's AIK claimed their 2nd title in 3 years.  AEK won their 3rd title in 4 years, with Olympiacos struggling mightily.

Luka Milivojevic's Tottenham claimed the Europa League title, after a 3-1 win over Jacky Mathijssen's Lyon in Stockholm.

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Portugal Squad Review, June 2036

Alright.  Let's get one thing clear.  This side is obscenely good.  Probably the best national side I've managed on FM in years.  So much speed, so much talent...  It's insanely good fun, especially playing strikerless as it emphasized their strengths.  And it isn't just the sheer talent in our 1st XI, it's the depth which extends to the 2nd XI and beyond.

I activated the Portuguese league upon getting the job, so in June 2035 a number of older/established players were generated...you'll see them below.  Some immense talent.  We'll be able to comfortably rotate between the 2 XIs (and substitute as needed during the knockout rounds) without a notable drop-off in talent.

The pre-tournament friendlies were similar to our qualifiers -- dominant, ruthless, efficient.  I can't wait for the games to start...

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Goalkeepers

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The battle here is between Tinoco and Ludovina, with Lavado as the #3 (notwithstanding his 130 caps).  Any of the three could play without me being concerned.

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Defenders

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In the back, our starting CBs are Campino, Matos and Martins, with Monteiro and Sacramento on the flanks.  The backups are Xavier, Radchenko, and Carlos Carvalho in the middle, with Carlos Ferreira and Luis Carvalho out wide.  So much strength in the middle, tons of attacking ability out wide -- having wingbacks who can/will attack is critical to our system, and this group of wingbacks is immense.

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Central Midfielders

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So.  Much.  Skill.  Nascimiento and Ivo Micael will be the starting mezzalla and carrilero, respectively, with Mancio and Melo as the backups.  Insanely good.

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Attacking Midfielders

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Up top, we've got Diogo Rafael in the deep-lying targetman role, flanked by Nuno Ferreira and Pinto.  In the 2nd XI, Martins will be flanked by Fischer and Magalhaes.

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Final Thoughts

This squad is ridiculous.  Utterly and completely ridiculous.  Anything short of winning it all will be a disappointment.

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Scotland/Wales 2036; European Championships, Group Stage

A comprehensive 4-2 win over Russia in Aberdeen, followed by a 4-1 win over Slovenia in Cardiff, and the stage was set for a massive clash against France to determine who went through at the top of the Group.  We did not disappoint, with a 2-1 win that did not reflect the game on the pitch, as we were never in danger of losing or drawing.

We'll face Italy in the 2nd Round, a tough draw, but those are the breaks.

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Scotland/Wales 2036; European Championships, Second Round

Italy? Schm-italy.  We played deep, looking to frustrate the Italian attack while hitting them in transition.  The execution was sublime.  A 2-win.  We're through to face the Czech Republic, as other so-called "big" nations fall by the wayside.

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Scotland/Wales 2036; European Championships, Quarterfinals

It took us far longer than it should have to bury the 10-man Czechs, but in the end the 2nd XI did the business.  Next up?  My former Croatian side, who beat Sweden on penalties after a stoppage-time equalizer.  Of the four quarterfinal matches, ours was the only one that didn't go to penalties.

High drama in Scotland/Wales, kind of like that time when Prince Charles and Camilla were caught in the Black Mountains in the early 2020s.  Quite the scandal, that.  No one ever figured out what they intended to do with all those puppies.

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Scotland/Wales 2036; European Championships, Semifinals

The first half of our semifinal comprised the worst 45 minutes of our tenure in Portugal.  An utter nightmare, despite having rotated the squad for the prior match.  Giving up the first on a free kick, and the 2nd while chasing the game.  A consolation penalty was all we had to show for it.  An utter disappointment. 

It is hard to begrudge Croatia the win.   We have no excuses.  We did not deserve to go through.  It is as simple as that.

Croatia's 93rd-minute winner in the Final only twists the dagger even more.  That should have been us.

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2 hours ago, ManUtd1 said:

One of these things is not like the other...

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The best part of Inter being thrown out of the Champions League for violating FFP is that we'll take their spot in Pot 1 for the Group Stage draw.

Forgot to post this a few minutes ago...not the best draw.  Not the worst.  Our aim is the Europa League slot, but with Brugge and PSV we could sneak into the CL knockout rounds.

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Ravel has got to be one of your fraudulent buddies, no? 

Shame about the World Cup. It’s typical that your strongest squad didn’t quite make it, but at least you get to decimate the rest of the world for another 4 years.

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8 hours ago, Joe. said:

Ravel has got to be one of your fraudulent buddies, no? 

Shame about the World Cup. It’s typical that your strongest squad didn’t quite make it, but at least you get to decimate the rest of the world for another 4 years.

Ravel is too fraudulent, even for us!

Thankfully it was just the Euros! But, in typical fashion, while the immense a Portugal squad fell short, Sampdoria playing way above their own heads. Beat the **** out of Munich at home, since teams play so conservative on the road in Europe we could just attack like crazy, and then got them on the counter once we took a lead and they were trying to get back into the match. We stole a draw in Germany, so we sit atop the Group! Screenshots will go up later...

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On 09/11/2018 at 13:30, Fer Fuchs Ake said:

With finishing of 7, he can barely call himself a Vogel.

That's because he isn't. He's a Vogl, the illegitimate, even more fraudulent breakaway clan from House Vogel. Our Lord scowls upon his treachery.

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You should try not to talk so much, friend. You'll sound far less stupid that way.

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UC Sampdoria / Portugal -- November 2036

It wasn't that long ago that Zlatan was sure we were in some form of purgatory, here in Italy.  Now that we're running wild, playing out of our heads, he's taking that as a sign that we are, in fact, in purgatory, our emotions being played with by the Gods.  I really don't know what to tell him. 

It is true, though.  Sampdoria are playing with a sense of purpose and confidence that belies our youth. Long may it continue.

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18 minutes ago, oriole01 said:

Wow, this is moving really fast. That Bayern result as well as Juve's league position are surreal.

I've only been able to play in fits and starts over the last day or so, making more frequent updates a challenge.  It's a crazy year -- no doubt. 

Juventus sitting 15th is insane...with any luck it'll hold :lol:  Clement has been sacked, so they're in the care of Zigor Aranalde for now.

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The wins over Bayern aren't as impressive as they seem.  Bayern haven't been as dominant lately, and sit 5th in the Bundesliga.  They're just nowhere near as good as you'd expect.  Don't get me wrong, these are amazing results for us.  We frauded the draw in Germany while playing on the counter, and were more ruthless against them at home than we've been over any 90-minute period in my Sampdoria tenure. 

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I'll try to get a squad review up later on.

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While I was hoping for a trip to Belgrade, we're stuck with going to that sh*thole London, instead.  Pep the Bald's Chelsea, the defending champions.  A big ask.

Zlatan claims that some shady locals have reached out, offering to "help" during the second leg here in Italy.  After the last time we tried to "bug" Pep's hotel suite, though, I want nothing to do with these efforts.  There are things you cannot unsee.

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3 French clubs in the knock out rounds may suggest that’d be the place to go next, once Sampdoria is inevitably completed. I’m routing for Nantes and Bordeaux.

Gutted to discover that **** Star have won the damn thing before. They’d be a great club to get!

 

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1 hour ago, Joe. said:

3 French clubs in the knock out rounds may suggest that’d be the place to go next, once Sampdoria is inevitably completed. I’m routing for Nantes and Bordeaux.

Gutted to discover that **** Star have won the damn thing before. They’d be a great club to get!

 

Agreed about **** Star.  The only reason I have any dislike for them is from in-game experience with Partizan...hence the way I refer to them.

Nantes looks like the first "new" side to truly emerge in this save.  Could be an interesting shout if they become eligible -- we had a handful in France last time around, as PSG struggled mightily after the initial 20 years or so.

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[Edit -- note the presence of Sacramento and Brcic.  Zuza was also at Partizan for a time.]

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Nantes threatened to have a decent squad in the late 90s but I gather they hit some difficulties.. I’d definitely like to see them do well, have always seen them as a sleeping giant of sorts - whether that’s accurate or not. 

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1 hour ago, Joe. said:

Nantes threatened to have a decent squad in the late 90s but I gather they hit some difficulties.. I’d definitely like to see them do well, have always seen them as a sleeping giant of sorts - whether that’s accurate or not. 

They'd be a great addition to the eligible teams list...I don't think I've ever managed them, which is insane given how long I've played this game. :kriss:

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Chelsea are on the horizon.  The biggest test yet for this young Sampdoria squad, who are confident beyond measure at this moment.

I've asked Zlatan and Drake to warm-up the lads up this morning, while I put the finishing touches on some new tactical drills.

But when I walk out on the pitch, they're just standing there, gawking as the lads go through some Bielsa-esque drill under the watchful eye of someone I don't even recognize.  What the actual **** is going on?

I manage to put it a bit more politely when I ask them.  They both just shake their heads.  "Not sure who he is, Boss," Drake explains.  "But he sure knows our tactics.  He's got it down cold.  Billy over there -- the kitman, yeah? -- he says this guy's on payroll both here and somehow affiliated with...you know..."

I don't know.  And, frankly, we don't have time for this ****.  I demand an explanation.

"La Stidda, Boss.  The local...you know...the guys who...get things done around here..."  Drake  gestures ambiguously.  I understand now.  I know not to ask any further, specific questions.

But I can't help but wonder what this strange man, wearing...is that a "Property of Josh Groban" t-shirt under a soldier's jacket?  As he spins to yell at the keepers, the jacket flares open...and it sure is.  He also appears to be wearing an actual rope for a belt.  But...the way he's sectioned off the pitch...the off the ball movement he's encouraging...yes...this could be the...what am I thinking?  Who is this ****?

Enough of this crap.  I march over to get some answers.

"I'm busy now," he responds, quietly, not even looking in my direction.  "Can I ignore you some other time?"

Not wanting to call attention to the fact that he has utterly refused to acknowledge my presence, I watch the drill...it's actually quite impressive in it's own right.  The space and movement is...sublime.  My reverie is broken after a few minutes, however, when I notice him looking directly at me, a wry grin on his face as if he knows something I don't.

I try again, demanding that he identify himself, and just what he thinks he's doing, taking charge of our training.  He just turns away before walking off slowly to the sideline.  I gesture to Drake and Zlatan, to have them continue the drill as I follow him over.

I arrive to find this strange little man lounging insolently across the substitutes' bench...casually tossing colored stones into a chalked circle.

"Alright, time for answers."   I look at him, waiting.

He just looks back at me, over his sharp nose, his stark black hair falling in a devil-may-care way across his angular features.  He shrugs and wraps a colored scarf around his neck, mumbling something vague about the "Chairman" having sent him.

Silence settles in for several moments, as we watch the lads training.  He finally breaks the silence, speaking firmly but in a voice designed for only me to hear.

"You know, your hair looks like a bird. And not in a good, Flock-of Seagulls kind of way."

I'm dumbfounded. 

After the shock passes, I loudly demand to know who he is and on what authority he is at our training, giving tactical instructions to my team.

He just shrugs.  "You can continue talking that loudly if you like.  I didn't realize you'd set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public."

I am at a complete loss for words.  He just stares at me.  Maybe it is a trick of the light, but I swear I see shadows cross the iris of his eyes as he stares back.  Several players have been looking over at the scene I'm causing.

Zlatan and Drake amble over at this point, grinning like madmen.  "What is this drill?  You must share with The Zlatan!  Love, yes?!"

The newcomer looks Zlatan up and down.  "My, my, my...you are as radiant as I'd been led to believe.  But, every time you refer to yourself in the third person, you inspire my inner serial killer.  Can we put an end to that, please?"

Zlatan just stares at him, processing the sheer insolence.  Drake is not impressed and falls back on his baser instincts, lunging for the little man with his bare hands...but the man just dances away, laughing.  One moment, he was just...laying there across the bench, the next he's several feet away, with Drake stumbling head-first into the padding.

"And you!"  he laughs, pointing at Drake.  "Are you always this stupid, or are you making a special effort today?"

Drake is turning a bright shade of purple, clenching and unclenching his fists...this isn't good, we've all see thing side of Drake before...

"Look here, my Irish friend...I didn't mean that.  I don't really think you are stupid.  Perhaps you just have bad luck when thinking?!"

Confused, Drake tries to piece together what has been said, unsure if he's being insulted or not.  Fortunately, this confusion allows his rage to pass.

The lads have all gathered round now, as this strange man begins to talk.  We've no choice but to nod along, pretending as if everything happening here is according to our plan. He winks at me, conspiratorially, as he continues dissecting Chelsea's defensive setup.

The man casually refers to himself as a special consultant, assigned to the club temporarily, and that he will be checking in with some suggestions from time to time.  And, with that, he nods and saunters away, off the pitch.  The lads take it all in stride, looking back to us.  Not missing a beat, Zlatan starts barking orders, getting them started on our planned training session and...wouldn't you know it...

Just look at that.  We already look more incisive, with those tweaks.  I didn't ever think about inverting the Mezzalla to that extent...

After training, I call the Chairman.  He's strangely evasive.  I mean, what am I to make of the Chairman's opinion that this nameless psychopath is the "cleverest of the three moons?" 

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