[FM 18] Winning Isn’t Everything -- Rubbing It In The Faces Of Your Enemies Is Also Important

[ManUtd1]

10 minutes ago, rodesire said:

Zlatan back where he belongs.  I mean, where he chooses to grace with his presence 

It's glorious, isn't it?!

Part of me wanted him to take over at Jonkopings, but this is so much better.

[Rikulec]

Beautiful.

[BoxToBox]

2 hours ago, ManUtd1 said:

[ManUtd1]

First glance, this is obviously a side that is underperforming.  We've got a rough fixture list ahead -- tons of congestion as we close out the domestic calendar, with 4 Europa League group matches to play.  There is definitely some young talent here.

We'll be playing the libero version of Crabhammer that was deployed at Jonkopings.

    

     

 

[HawkAussie]

Wait there are updates, checks the thread, yep there is updates.

[ManUtd1]

3 hours ago, rodesire said:

Zlatan back where he belongs.  I mean, where he chooses to grace with his presence 

2 hours ago, Rikulec said:

Beautiful.

2 hours ago, BoxToBox said:

49 minutes ago, HawkAussie said:

Wait there are updates, checks the thread, yep there is updates.

The return to Malmo is going to be brilliant in so many ways!

*cackles wildly*

[Benjoe]

Surely G.O.B. chose wrongly, again right? He was intending to go back to IFK Malmö, right? 

Orrrrr, the Zlatan himself just brought G.O.B. to Malmö FF as luggage. 

Your pick, @ManUtd1.

[ManUtd1]

Final Superettan standings, as Jonkopings Sodra took 4 points from their final 2 matches after GOB left.

 

[ManUtd1]

2 hours ago, Benjoe said:

Surely G.O.B. chose wrongly, again right? He was intending to go back to IFK Malmö, right? 

Orrrrr, the Zlatan himself just brought G.O.B. to Malmö FF as luggage. 

Your pick, @ManUtd1.

 

[ManUtd1]

Inappropriate? Such as … dividing by zero?

2020 Season Review

2 years later and I've finally arrived at the Swedbank...with the weight of expectations on my back.  Having won 2 straight titles in triumphant fashion, I'm seen by some as the "hipster" manager of the moment -- an impression no doubt influenced by Zlatan's presence.

Yes, we've arrived in Malmo with all the subtlety of a monkey on viagra with a chainsaw.  For better or worse.  And, like that monkey, we're here to do a job -- no more, no less...

(Ok, I think I've stretched that metaphor a tad too far... Even the Russell Brand is looking at it, thinking "now, that's a bit much, mate, innit?")

On the pitch, our arrival met all expectations, with only a draw against Hammarby and loss to Liverpool marring our record.  It will take some time for tactics to gel, but the proof is right there on the fixture list.  We're even through to the knockout rounds of the Europa League...we'd best enjoy it, as our 4th place finish meant that, once eliminated, given the staggered qualifying setup made necessary by the Swedish domestic calendar, the soonest we will return to European football will be the summer of 2022.

That's a long ways off, yeah?  Best do ourselves proud then, eh, lads?

Squad|League Overview|Finances Overview|Income Detail|Expenditures Detail|Transfers

Allsvenskan Fixtures|Champions League Fixtures|Europa League Fixtures|Svenska Cupen Fixtures

Save Overview

[ManUtd1]

 

 

 

[Benjoe]

16 hours ago, ManUtd1 said:

 

[Timetxu]

5 hours ago, ManUtd1 said:

 

 

 

I see no Ride of the Valkyries in here. Why is there no Ride of the Valkyries?

[ManUtd1]

5 hours ago, Benjoe said:

3 hours ago, Timetxu said:

I see no Ride of the Valkyries in here. Why is there no Ride of the Valkyries?

Ludwig is getting slaughtered on social media for the omission. 

[Benjoe]

14 minutes ago, ManUtd1 said:

Prison Mike is the best thing in the history of the Universe. Seriously. 

EDIT: 

 

[kidthekid]

If I was a fan and saw that playlist, I'll quit being a fan.

[Benjoe]

2 minutes ago, kidthekid said:

If I was a fan and saw that playlist, I'll quit being a fan.

I'd do the opposite -- I'd become so dedicated I became a hardcore Ultras. 

[ManUtd1]

6 minutes ago, kidthekid said:

If I was a fan and saw that playlist, I'll quit being a fan.

The Wagner omission was unforgivable.

[kidthekid]

42 minutes ago, ManUtd1 said:

The Wagner omission was unforgivable.

no dikgang music too

[Benjoe]

5 minutes ago, kidthekid said:

no dikgang music too

Aye, that's actually true!

How can you not pick a single of these Classics - Spell it out for me, C.L.A.S.S.I.C.Z-

On 19/06/2017 at 10:46, Benjoe said:

A friendship quickly arose between Dube and Dikgang. Soon enough they had released their own record with songs such as:

"I kissed a weenie" ft. Keenan Dickson

"Ween on the Brain" ft. Jimmy Mweene & Omar Rihani

"Weener Ghospel" ft. Tu-Pakistan Army

And also, "Against All Weens" ft. Amadou Collins

The cover for their album:

 

[ManUtd1]

 

 

[OnlyLyon]

Le 31/05/2018 à 06:15, ManUtd1 a dit :

 

My Zulte/Dutch save withered on the vine, thanks to work/family commitments, waning interest on my part, and some great CK2/EU4 sessions.  The narrative wasn't grabbing me and I felt like I was forcing things instead of enjoying it.  So I decided to shift gears and introduce a new character, while returning to my old stomping grounds in Sweden.

 

Hey! I was wondering what happened after a good start as Stalin in your new save. Glad to see you back to business in Sweden! Best of luck!

Also gg for bringing Zlatan into this!

[ManUtd1]

12 hours ago, OnlyLyon said:

Hey! I was wondering what happened after a good start as Stalin in your new save. Glad to see you back to business in Sweden! Best of luck!

Also gg for bringing Zlatan into this!

Zlatan will feature pretty heavily.  I cannot tell you how excited I was to have him agree to join Jonkopings!  

[ManUtd1]

Good men don't become legends.

June 2021 Mini-Update

A modest stumble coming out of the Allsvenskan gate, but otherwise we're in good shape.  Top of the league, Svenska Cupen winners...meaning we're off to the Europa League this fall.  The fixture congestion may be too much for us, but we'll enjoy the ride.

Our first match after the June break?  Away to Jonkopings.  Zlatan has the lads putting in extra kickboxing sessions to prepare.  Got to have the right mentality, yeah?

As the days stretch into the late evening hours, Malmo fits my mood like a glove.  The football is good.  The music is brilliant.  The women, delightful.  I saw a woman the other day, her hair was so dark it looked like licorice...I wanted to chew on it until I made myself sick.

What?!  Don't look at me like that.  You know you were thinking it, too.

[ManUtd1]

Returning to Jonkopings was always going to be a big day.  While we sit at the top of the table, with our hosts in 13th, given the recent history between the clubs we anticipated a hard-fought, physical match. 

Fortunately, Zlatan had the lads prepared.  All that extra kickboxing paid off, with Oscar concussing one of their players less than 30 seconds into the match.  

Jonkopings were rattled and had no answer for Engvall.

Suck it, you frauds.

  

[ManUtd1]

Good men don't become legends.

July 2021 Mini-Update

There's not much to complain about, as our summer is going well.  If we could only keep a cleansheet, eh?

I've told Zlatan to sort out the defense, and put that fancy new Continental C coaching license to good use.  He just looked at me as if I was crazy.  We held each other's gaze for an uncomfortable period of time, before he finally relented and looked away.  You have to establish dominance, see.

 

[ManUtd1]

I have the heart of a lion.  And a lifetime ban from the London Zoo.

August 2021 Mini-Update

This is what I'm talking about, lads.  Into the Europa League playoffs, with a shutout on the books.  You have to start somewhere.  Zlatan was pleased with himself, until I forbade him from having any water until we got another.

He's getting rather thirsty.  Not to mention terrified of me.  I'm content with that.

Back to Poland we go...

 

[HawkAussie]

Ha, you got banned from the London Zoo while I can legally still go there.

[ManUtd1]

2 hours ago, HawkAussie said:

Ha, you got banned from the London Zoo while I can legally still go there.

Ugh... Out of reputation again. Please accept this gif as a token of my appreciation for your comment 

[ManUtd1]

I have the heart of a lion.  And a lifetime ban from the London Zoo.

September 2021 Mini-Update

And like that, we roar into the Europa League Group Stage.  Dominant at home (barring my 2nd XI s***ting the bed against Ostersunds), and through the qualifiers with nary a scratch.

Although, having failed to keep a cleansheet for 4 matches in a row, I'm of a mind to get Zlatan back on the lads, focusing on our defensive shape.

 

[ManUtd1]

Ryan looks a little disgruntled...having signed for $37.5M, only to be entering his second year rotting in City's reserves, on $69k/week?

 

[ManUtd1]

Oh, Carlos.  You poor, silly bugger.  You've left me with no choice.

"Zlatan, can you come in here?"

"Yes, boss?"

"It's time."

"You're not pulling my leg, are you?"

"No, Zlatan.  This time I mean it."

"You've said that before, boss.  Many times.  It is starting to not be so funny, yes?"

"No more fooling, Zlatan.  Implement the DL-Poacher protocol."

"Yes, boss.  Right away, boss.  Just one question..."

"Of course, Zlatan.  What is it?"

"Can I invert the DL-Poacher?"

"I expect nothing less.  Well done, Zlatan."

"Thank you, boss.  I won't let you down."

  

[ManUtd1]

Good to see the Board responding to my request with some common sense.

 

[ManUtd1]

I have the heart of a lion.  And a lifetime ban from the London Zoo.

October 2021 Mini-Update

5 matches to play, 7 points clear of defending champions AIK, who are looking to claim their 3rd title in 4 years and usurp us from atop our throne in Swedish football.  Can't let that happen lads, now, can we?

We've got the more favorable run-in, while AIK have to face Orebro, Hammarby and Elfsborg.  Squeaky bum time.

#DareToMalmö

 

[ManUtd1]

I have the heart of a lion.  And a lifetime ban from the London Zoo.

October 2021 Mini-Update (Cont.)

Potential disaster averted, as we lost to Hacken...only for Hammarby to defeat AIK several days later, restoring our 7-point lead.  With 3 matches to play, we're nearly there.

Zlatan is thrilled to see Jonkopings in the relegation zone...knowing that we'll host our former club on Matchday 30, potentially with the ability to send them down while at the same time celebrating our win.

Dare we dream?  Yes, we dare.  #DareToMalmö

  

[ManUtd1]

Resolved: AIK are massive frauds.

  

[ManUtd1]

One year later and our decision to leave Jonkopings has been vindicated.  We are Champions.  They're in a relegation playoff.

  

[ManUtd1]

Jonkopings survive the relegation playoffs on penalties.  I have mixed feelings about this.

 

[BoxToBox]

17 minutes ago, ManUtd1 said:

I have mixed feelings about this.

Just more opportunities to beat down on them.

[ManUtd1]

27 minutes ago, BoxToBox said:

Just more opportunities to beat down on them.

True. But them completely crashing down the leagues would be good fun, too...

[BoxToBox]

18 minutes ago, ManUtd1 said:

True. But them completely crashing down the leagues would be good fun, too...

You can't lose, really!

[ManUtd1]

3 minutes ago, BoxToBox said:

You can't lose, really!

Nope.  And we should go from strength to strength at this point -- if I can hit the CL group stage, the cash influx will ensure my domestic dominance.

[Sheriff7]

Good to see Treleborg survive. For a weird reason always I like them, from my child years. 

[ManUtd1]

"I dunno, Boss.  We've only been here one year."

"Yeah, but that Colin Farrell flick is class.  That line about purgatory and Tottenham?!  Gets me every time."

"I like the part where Colin karate chops the little fella."

"Outrageous, isn't it? Great flick."

"Yeah... But what does that have to do with this offer of an interview?"

"That's a good question, Zlatan."

"Errr... So...what--"

"I don't know, man.  Let's get a cheeky Nando's and talk it over."

 

[ManUtd1]

Our bellies full of chicken slathered in peri peri sauce, Zlatan and I had no choice but to agree on two things.

First, we couldn't leave Malmo at this point.  We've got a brilliant young side, won our Europa League group, and will be in the Champions League next year.  We've also only been here for a year.  We need to build this club up.

Second, we're renting In Bruges on the way home.  Great flick.

[ManUtd1]

Too much Nando's this week.  We'll have to discuss this one over some pho tai.

[20 minutes later.]

"Personality, I mean that's what counts, right? That's what keeps a relationship going through the years. Like sriracha, I mean srirachas's got a great ****ing personality."

"Aren't we here to talk about zee French, Boss?"

"Who needs 'zee French' if you've got sriracha, Zlatan?!"

 

[BoxToBox]

God I'm hungry, all this talk of Nando's and basically stew...

[ManUtd1]

Bellies full, oral cavities on fire, the debate raged on as we binge-watched Chuck on the big screen.

Again, 2 things were decided.

First, Yvonne is everything.  

Second, Saint-Etienne was an even worse prospect that Club Brugge.  While Ligue 1 is a "bigger" league, they're sitting 19th with an aging squad and no viable youth prospects (unlike the Belgians).

Hook the reindeer to the fender!  We stay in Sweden, lads!

[ManUtd1]

5 minutes ago, BoxToBox said:

God I'm hungry, all this talk of Nando's and basically stew...

Stew?!?!?

[BoxToBox]

7 minutes ago, ManUtd1 said:

Stew?!?!?