AI Experiment - what would happen if?

[steve_888]

Great update as always Kip. Like the others have said it will be interesting to see whether any of the ex-Bandits go into Management and more importantly whether they are as successful at that as they were at playing. Only time will tell.

KUTGW

[leftback in the changing room]

Originally posted by kipfizh:

Originally posted by chopper99:

Aaargh, it's been nearly 10 days since we've had an update!!

QUOTE]

Ask, and ye shall receive

Update on the way!

Can we have the 2026-27 season update please

Still an excellent read 15 pages and 20 game years on!

Have you thought about how you will present the data now that the players are retiring? It appears that the current format is a bit too time consuming for you and you'll be better off consolidating the presentation a bit. Also it means you'll turn the updates around quicker!

[leftback in the changing room]

Originally posted by leftback in the changing room:

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by kipfizh:

Ask, and ye shall receive

Update on the way!

Can we have the 2026-27 season update please

Still an excellent read 15 pages and 20 game years on!

</div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Also, can I be cheeky and ask if you could provide your admiring public with the CA and PA values for the managers of the top teams in the Premier league? It would be interesting to see whether the great players have similar staff ratings to managers at the best teams.

[Meitheisman]

Good to see the Bandits are finally signing some decent players... hopefully they'll gel next season and get to the Championship... let's go Bandits!

KUTGW Kipfizh

[kipfizh]

The save game is now 165MB, and I'll provide Premiership data in due course, so you can see whose managers are keeping them successful.

As for now, the next set of posts will explain why this update took so long - with some players retiring before the end of the season, I actually had to write career reviews before finishing the original report.

And here they are:

[kipfizh]

Left Back 2 – Retired 30/06/2026

Club Career:

Bandits: Apps 52, Gls 0, Asts 2, MoM 1, YC 5, RC 0

Liverpool: Apps 857, Gls 24, Asts 81, MoM 55, YC 87, RC 9

Total: Apps 909, Gls 24, Asts 83, MoM 56, YC 87, RC 9

Honours:

Premiership (Liverpool 2014)

Conference South (Bandits 2007)

FA Cup (Liverpool 2021)

League Cup (Liverpool 2010)

FA Trophy (Bandits 2007)

Intertoto Cup (Liverpool 2020)

International Career:

England: Apps 100, Gls 1, Asts 7, MoM 7, YC 6, RC 1

Honours:

World Cup (2010, 2014), Confederations Cup (2013, 2017, 2025), European Championships (2016)

Personal Awards:

World Player of the Year (2021)

World Player of the Year 2nd place (2015)

World Footballer of the Year 2nd place (2015, 2016, 2019)

European Defender of the Year (2012)

European Defender of the Year 2nd place (2016)

European Defender of the Year 3rd place (2015, 2017, 2020, 2024)

Notes:

After starring for the Bandits for one season, he spent nearly two decades as the first choice left back at Liverpool and England. Never much of a goalscorer, he managed only 25 goals in 1009 domestic and international games, but assisted nearly a hundred others while consistently performing superbly at the back.

He didn’t win as many honours as he would’ve liked, with Liverpool winning just one Premiership title in his nineteen years there, and no European trophy, but he was recognised on the world stage at a personal level, the highlight being his World Player of the Year award in 2021, six years after narrowly missing out. He was often in the reckoning for personal honours, but rarely took the award home.

Only started to fall out of favour in his last season, meaning that his total appearances throughout his career reached the magical 1000 mark. A great career.

[kipfizh]

Right Back 1 – Retired 25/06/2026

Club Career:

Bandits: Apps 4, Gls 0, Asts 2, MoM 2, YC 0, RC 0

Newcastle: Apps 88, Gls 2, Asts 6, MoM 2, YC 9, RC 1

Chelsea: Apps 843, Gls 3, Asts 62, MoM 40, YC 81, RC 9

Total: Apps 935, Gls 5, Asts 70, MoM 42, YC 90, RC 10

Honours:

Premiership (Chelsea 2012, 2013, 2017, 2018, 2021, 2022, 2023, 2024, 2025, 2026)

Conference South (Bandits 2007)

FA Cup (Chelsea 2012, 2014, 2024)

League Cup (Chelsea 2020)

FA Trophy (Bandits 2007)

Champions League (Chelsea 2013, 2017)

UEFA Cup (Chelsea 2012)

Intertoto Cup (Chelsea 2011)

Super Cup (Chelsea 2013, 2017)

Club World Championship (Chelsea 2013, 2017)

International Career:

England: Apps 93, Gls 2, Asts 17, MoM 5, YC 7, RC 1

Honours:

World Cup (2010, 2014), Confederations Cup (2017), European Championships (2016)

Personal Awards:

World Player of the Year 3rd place (2014)

European Defender of the Year (2013)

European Defender of the Year 2nd place (2018, 2019, 2023)

European Defender of the Year 3rd place (2011, 2014)

Notes:

After struggling to get in the Bandits side ahead of his rivals, he secured a move to Newcastle, where his performances earned him a 27.5m move to Chelsea. Unlike so many of his counterparts, he was not held back at club level by a rival, and remained first choice until his final season.

He was on hand to pick up most of the honours Chelsea won in his time there, having won nothing in his three seasons at Newcastle. With Chelsea he was a ten time Premiership winner, eventually winning everything you can win at club level. Internationally he was a regular starter, narrowly missing out on a hundred caps, and his approach play led to seventeen assists.

He was less honoured on a personal level than some of his colleagues, his only award being European Defender of the Year way back in 2013. He was often in the running without beating Centre Back 1 (usually) to the top prize.

Chelsea will have a huge hole to fill at right back – after so many years of service and over a thousand career appearances, he retires with a superb record.

[kipfizh]

Centre Back 1 – Retired 13/06/2026

Club Career:

Bandits: Apps 23, Gls 1, Asts 7, MoM 3, YC 2, RC 0

Tottenham: Apps 81, Gls 2, Asts 2, MoM 4, YC 6, RC 1

Milan: Apps 663, Gls 60, Asts 74, MoM 85, YC 97, RC 9

Total: Apps 767, Gls 63, Asts 83, MoM 92, YC 105, RC 10

Honours:

Conference South (Bandits 2007)

FA Trophy (Bandits 2007)

Champions League (Milan 2010, 2015, 2023)

UEFA Cup (Milan 2021)

Super Cup (Milan 2023)

Club World Championship (Milan 2009, 2010, 2015, 2023)

International Career:

England: Apps 144, Gls 2, Asts 17, MoM 25, YC 10, RC 1

Honours:

World Cup (2010), Confederations Cup (2013, 1017), European Championships (2016)

Personal Awards:

World Player of the Year (2011)

World Player of the Year 3rd place (2023)

World Footballer of the Year (2011, 2012, 2014, 2017, 2019, 2021)

World Footballer of the Year 2nd place (2022)

World Footballer of the Year 3rd place (2023)

European Defender of the Year (2011, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, 2020, 2021, 2022, 2023, 2024)

European Defender of the Year 2nd place (2014)

European Defender of the Year 3rd place (2012, 2013)

Notes:

Potentially the best of the 22 starlets created in this experiment. After an average start at the Bandits followed by two decent seasons at Tottenham, he became the only Bandit to seek his fortunes abroad, playing at the heart of Milan’s defence for sixteen years. In that time, he won more Champions League medals than anyone outside Real Madrid, in addition to other major trophies, including the World Club Championship four times. Surely had I ran the Italian league his domestic honour board would be filled.

His goalscoring was also impressive, scoring once every ten games in the tight Italian league. His discipline was less impressive, with over a hundred yellow cards and ten reds in his career.

At international level, he won an amazing 25 man of the match awards in his lengthy 144 cap career, in which he formed an unbreakable barrier in the England defence, and he deservedly picked up five international trophies.

Famed the world over, he won the support of his colleagues in the yearly awards. Winner of European Defender of the Year an astonishing eleven times, including ten years in a row from 2015 to 2024, he also won World Player of the Year once and World Footballer of the Year five times.

He will probably go down in history as one of the best, if not the best, defenders to ever grace the game. Unfortunately for him his desire for management has eluded him, and we will never see him transfer his incredible experience to others.

[kipfizh]

Centre Back 3 – Retired 26/06/2026

Club Career:

Bandits: Apps 52, Gls 0, Asts 5, MoM 5, YC 3, RC 0

Chelsea: Apps 793, Gls 7, Asts 53, MoM 51, YC 71, RC 8

Total: Apps 845, Gls 7, Asts 58, MoM 56, YC 74, RC 8

Honours:

Premiership (Chelsea 2008, 2009, 2012, 2013, 2017, 2018, 2021, 2022, 2023, 2024, 2025, 2026)

Conference South (Bandits 2007)

FA Cup (Chelsea 2014, 2024)

League Cup (Chelsea 2013, 2020)

FA Trophy (Bandits 2007)

Champions League (Chelsea 2013, 2017)

UEFA Cup (Chelsea 2012)

Intertoto Cup (Chelsea 2011)

Super Cup (Chelsea 2013, 2017)

Club World Championship (Chelsea 2013, 2017)

International Career:

England: Apps 74, Gls 4, Asts 4, MoM 9, YC 6, RC 0

Honours:

World Cup (2014), Confederations Cup (2013, 2017, 2025), European Championships (2016)

Personal Awards:

European Defender of the Year (2014)

European Defender of the Year 3rd place (2018)

Notes:

After a superb opening season with the Bandits, he spends the entire rest of his career at Chelsea, being a part of almost every honour they won in his nineteen years there, including an amazing twelve Premiership titles. He won everything you could win at club level, and remained first choice throughout his career.

He played slightly less than some on the international stage, but was still a regular when he hung up his boots. He was one of the few involved in all three Confederations Cup victories.

On a personal level, he was not in the reckoning for many awards, picked up just European Defender of the Year in 2014, just before Centre Back 1 went on his ten year run of dominating the award.

An excellent career by most standards, but compared to the rest of the Bandits, only his club honours board puts him above others.

[kipfizh]

Centre Back 4 – Retired 29/06/2026

Club Career:

Bandits: Apps 46, Gls 0, Asts 4, MoM 5, YC 6, RC 0

Chelsea: Apps 812, Gls 16, Asts 47, MoM 56, YC 80, RC 2

Total: Apps 858, Gls 16, Asts 51, MoM 61, YC 86, RC 2

Honours:

Premiership (Chelsea 2008, 2009, 2012, 2013, 2017, 2018, 2021, 2022, 2023, 2024, 2025, 2026)

Conference South (Bandits 2007)

FA Cup (Chelsea 2012, 2014, 2024)

League Cup (Chelsea 2013)

FA Trophy (Bandits 2007)

Champions League (Chelsea 2013, 2017)

UEFA Cup (Chelsea 2012)

Intertoto Cup (Chelsea 2011)

Super Cup (Chelsea 2013, 2017)

Club World Championship (Chelsea 2013, 2017)

International Career:

England: Apps 78, Gls 2, Asts 9, MoM 4, YC 4, RC 0

Honours:

World Cup (2010, 2014), Confederations Cup (2017)

Personal Awards:

World Player of the Year 3rd place (2013)

World Football of the Year 3rd place (2013)

European Defender of the Year 2nd place (2013, 2015)

European Defender of the Year 3rd place (2021, 2022)

Notes:

Had an excellent start to his career at the Bandits, and once he’d sealed his big move to Chelsea he spent his entire career fighting a battle to be first choice. Looking back over his time there, it has to be said that he succeeded, winning everything possible with them, including twelve Premiership titles. The only things they won without him were a couple of League Cups when they played young sides later in his career.

His performances level where always equally excellent for England, where he played 78 times. Solid yet unspectacular, he was never a goalscorer but he did chip in with assists and aid their impressive defensive record over the years. His big disappointment was missing the European Championship victory in 2016.

On a personal level, he missed out on every award, but with a medal cabinet full from his time at Chelsea, he surely won’t mind too much.

[kipfizh]

Right Mid 1 – Retired 25/04/2026

Club Career:

Bandits: Apps 36, Gls 6, Asts 2, MoM 1, YC 1, RC 0

Chelsea: Apps 768, Gls 137, Asts 93, MoM 59, YC 69, RC 4

Total: Apps 804, Gls 143, Asts 95, MoM 60, YC 70, RC 4

Honours:

Premiership (Chelsea 2008, 2009, 2012, 2013, 2017, 2018, 2021, 2022, 2023, 2024)

Conference South (Bandits 2007)

FA Cup (Chelsea 2012, 2024)

League Cup (Chelsea 2013, 2020)

FA Trophy (Bandits 2007)

Champions League (Chelsea 2013, 2017)

UEFA Cup (Chelsea 2012)

Intertoto Cup (Chelsea 2011)

Super Cup (Chelsea 2013, 2017)

Club World Championship (Chelsea 2013, 2017)

International Career:

England: Apps 115, Gls 25, Asts 18, MoM 8, YC 8, RC 0

Honours:

World Cup (2010, 2014), Confederations Cup (2013, 2017), European Championships (2016)

Personal Awards:

World Player of the Year (2020)

World Player of the Year 2nd place (2014, 2017, 2019)

World Footballer of the Year 2nd place (2014)

World Footballer of the Year 3rd place (2018)

European Footballer of the Year (2014, 2019, 2020)

European Footballer of the Year 2nd place (2013)

European Footballer of the Year 3rd place (2018)

European Midfielder of the Year (2014, 2019, 2020)

European Midfielder of the Year 2nd place (2013)

European Midfielder of the Year 3rd place (2018)

Notes:

After a quiet start to his career at the Bandits, he took off when he joined Chelsea and never looked back. He was part of ten Premiership winning teams, only missing out on the last couple as he abilities faded and he headed into coaching.

He won everything you could win at both club and international level, and in a glittering international career, appeared 115 times, scoring as freely as he did for Chelsea. His career goals tally reached an impressive 168.

On a personal level, he was successfully decorated, winning World Player of the Year, World Footballer of the Year, European Footballer of the Year (three times) and European Midfielder of the Year (three times). 2014 was a special year, as he won all four in the same summer as winning the World Cup.

A stunning career in playing terms now makes way for a career in coaching. Will he be as successful?

[kipfizh]

Right Mid 2 – Retired 23/06/2026

Club Career:

Bandits: Apps 41, Gls 9, Asts 8, MoM 3, YC 5, RC 0

Rangers: Apps 50, Gls 17, Asts 12, MoM 11, YC 16, RC 0

Chelsea: Apps 91, Gls 18, Asts 4, MoM 2, YC 8, RC 0

Arsenal: Apps 644, Gls 157, Asts 75, MoM 65, YC 70, RC 2

Total: Apps 826, Gls 201, Asts 99, MoM 81, YC 99, RC 2

Honours:

Premiership (Chelsea 2012, Arsenal 2020)

Conference South (Bandits 2007)

FA Cup (Chelsea 2012)

League Cup (Arsenal 2023, 2025)

FA Trophy (Bandits 2007)

UEFA Cup (Arsenal 2015, 2018)

Intertoto Cup (Chelsea 2011, Arsenal 2014)

Super Cup (Arsenal 2012, 2018)

Club World Championship (Arsenal 2012)

International Career:

England: Apps 60, Gls 15, Asts 2, MoM 0, YC 3, RC 0

Honours:

World Cup (2010, 2014), Confederations Cup (2013, 2017), European Championships (2016)

Personal Awards:

World Player of the Year 2nd place (2020)

World Footballer of the Year (2016)

World Footballer of the Year 2nd place (2020)

European Midfielder of the Year 2nd place (2017)

Notes:

Started his career in style at the Bandits, and then made the mistake of signing for Chelsea, who, after farming him out on loan to Rangers, completely misused him. He didn’t play very often, and when he did he was deployed in central midfield, where he performed poorly.

His big break came when Chelsea signed Fabregas for him and 29m, and Arsenal soon proved that they got the better end of that deal, as he quickly became the star of their team, scoring one in four, setting up plenty more, and playing a large part in winning Arsenal medals. At one point he’d scored double figure goals for his club in ten successive seasons.

At international level he was forced to play catch up. His career didn’t take off until he joined Arsenal, but once it did he scored freely for his country too, without ever appearing to play the starring role. Sixty caps may be one of the worst returns of the Bandits, but he played well once he got there.

On a personal note, he won just the one award – World Footballer of the Year in 2016, narrowly missing out a few other times.

Overall, his career was excellent after the first six years or so. He proved that intelligence beats loyalty, and his move was among the smartest for both club and himself.

[kipfizh]

Centre Mid 4 – Retired 22/06/2026

Club Career:

Bandits: Apps 55, Gls 4, Asts 3, MoM 1, YC 4, RC 0

Chelsea: Apps 717, Gls 48, Asts 88, MoM 32, YC 76, RC 3

Total: Apps 772, Gls 52, Asts 91, MoM 33, YC 80, RC 3

Honours:

Premiership (Chelsea 2008, 2009, 2012, 2013, 2017, 2018, 2021, 2022, 2023, 2024)

Conference South (Bandits 2007)

FA Cup (Chelsea 2012, 2024)

League Cup (Chelsea 2013, 2017)

FA Trophy (Bandits 2007)

Champions League (Chelsea 2013, 2017)

UEFA Cup (Chelsea 2012)

Intertoto Cup (Chelsea 2011)

Super Cup (Chelsea 2013, 2017)

Club World Championship (Chelsea 2013, 2017)

International Career:

England: Apps 71, Gls 6, Asts 16, MoM 6, YC 4, RC 0

Honours:

World Cup (2014), Confederations Cup (2013), European Championships (2016)

Personal Awards:

European Footballer of the Year 2nd place (2014)

European Footballer of the Year 3rd place (2016)

European Midfielder of the Year 2nd place (2014, 2016)

Notes:

A bright start to his career was followed by an excellent time at Chelsea, where he spent just shy of two decades. He wasn’t hampered by Mourinho’s 5-3-2 formation, as his central role became more important, and he was a valuable part in many a triumph, including ten Premiership titles.

He was never as prolific as some midfielders, and this continued at international level, where six goals in 71 caps may seem a poor return. But he held the midfield together, often in an anchoring role, and will be missed by both club and country.

He was never enough of a star to win a personal award, but he was in the running for European awards at his peak. His is not considered a world star and never competed for those awards.

He had a solid career, and one in which he earned many medals, but he will not be remembered as a legend of the game.

[kipfizh]

Striker 1 – Retired 24/06/2026

Club Career:

Bandits: Apps 35, Gls 7, Asts 0, MoM 2, YC 3, RC 0

Chelsea: Apps 678, Gls 350, Asts 34, MoM 61, YC 59, RC 2

Total: Apps 713, Gls 357, Asts 34, MoM 63, YC 62, RC 2

Honours:

Premiership (Chelsea 2008, 2009, 2012, 2013, 2017, 2018, 2021, 2022, 2023, 2024, 2025)

Conference South (Bandits 2007)

FA Cup (Chelsea 2014, 2024)

League Cup (Chelsea 2013, 2020)

FA Trophy (Bandits 2007)

Champions League (Chelsea 2013, 2017)

Intertoto Cup (Chelsea 2011)

Super Cup (Chelsea 2013, 2017)

Club World Championship (Chelsea 2013)

International Career:

England: Apps 121, Gls 98, Asts 12, MoM 16, YC 6, RC 0

Honours:

World Cup (2010, 2014), Confederations Cup (2013, 2017), European Championships (2016)

Personal Awards:

European Striker of the Year 2nd place (2014)

European Striker of the Year 3rd place (2016, 2018, 2019)

Notes:

Competing with other Bandits at the start of his career, and throughout his time at Chelsea, he was never an automatic choice, but made the best of it to finish his career with an impressive record of a goal every other game. This is even more impressive when you consider that so many of his games were substitute appearances, as the competition at Stamford Bridge was intense.

He still managed to play enough to claim a multitude of medals, including eleven Premiership titles, and every club and domestic honour available to a top flight player. At international level, he narrowly missed out on a century of goals, scoring a stunning 98 in 121 games, which indicates what sort of goalscoring record he could’ve had if he started more matches for his club.

On a personal level, no matter how well he played he was never a regular starter for Chelsea, so was unable to claim any personal awards, but came close a couple of times in the European Striker of the Year stakes.

At another club, he could’ve had a remarkable career, but as it is, he was at the right club to take home the medals, but not to be the legend he could’ve been.

[kipfizh]

Striker 2 – Retired 27/06/2026

Club Career:

Bandits: Apps 55, Gls 37, Asts 3, MoM 6, YC 5, RC 0

Chelsea: Apps 859, Gls 493, Asts 47, MoM 98, YC 83, RC 6

Total: Apps 914, Gls 530, Asts 50, MoM 104, YC 88, RC 6

Honours:

Premiership (Chelsea 2008, 2009, 2012, 2013, 2017, 2018, 2021, 2022, 2023, 2024, 2025, 2026)

Conference South (Bandits 2007)

FA Cup (Chelsea 2012, 2014, 2024)

League Cup (Chelsea 2013)

FA Trophy (Bandits 2007)

Champions League (Chelsea 2013, 2017)

UEFA Cup (Chelsea 2012)

Intertoto Cup (Chelsea 2011)

Super Cup (Chelsea 2013, 2017)

Club World Championship (Chelsea 2013, 2017)

International Career:

England: Apps 153, Gls 124, Asts 11, MoM 27, YC 7, RC 0

Honours:

World Cup (2010, 2014), Confederations Cup (2013, 2017), European Championships (2016)

Personal Awards:

World Player of the Year (2014)

World Player of the Year 3rd place (2015)

World Footballer of the Year 3rd place (2014)

European Footballer of the Year 2nd place (2020)

European Striker of the Year (2014, 2015, 2018, 2020)

European Striker of the Year 2nd place (2016, 2019, 2021, 2022)

European Striker of the Year 3rd place (2013, 2017, 2023)

Notes:

Unlike some of his striking counterparts, he was always first choice throughout his career, from the opening year with the Bandits, through to his nineteen year career at Chelsea, and on to the international scene. As a result, he scored well over 500 club goals, and added well over another 100 for England.

He won an impressive twelve Premiership medals with Chelsea, as well as securing every other honour in the club game. At international level, he quickly became his country’s all time leading goalscoring, destroying Charlton’s record of 49 by scoring 124 times in 153 internationals.

The pinnacle of his career came in 2014 where, after being named World Player of the Year and European Striker of the Year (an award he would win three more times), he was integral in England becoming world champions. It remains to be seen whether they can reclaim those glory days now.

He will look back on his career with great pleasure, having won every club and international honour he would ever want to win, as well as being personally recognised on the world stage. Not bad for a player at a club with such competition for places.

[kipfizh]

Striker 3 – Retired 30/06/2026

Club Career:

Bandits: Apps 26, Gls 2, Asts 0, MoM 0, YC 0, RC 0

Sheff Utd: Apps 30, Gls 20, Asts 3, MoM 8, YC 2, RC 0

Chelsea: Apps 481, Gls 239, Asts 21, MoM 24, YC 35, RC 1

Total: Apps 537, Gls 261, Asts 24, MoM 32, YC 37, RC 1

Honours:

Premiership (Chelsea 2009, 2012, 2013, 2017, 2018, 2021, 2022, 2023, 2024)

Conference South (Bandits 2007)

FA Cup (Chelsea 2012, 2014)

League Cup (Chelsea 2017, 2020)

FA Trophy (Bandits 2007)

UEFA Cup (Chelsea 2012)

Intertoto Cup (Chelsea 2011)

Super Cup (Chelsea 2017)

Club World Championship (Chelsea 2017)

International Career:

England: Apps 54, Gls 18, Asts 3, MoM 2, YC 0, RC 0

Honours:

World Cup (2014), Confederations Cup (2013, 2017), European Championships (2016)

Personal Awards:

World Footballer of the Year 2nd place (2017)

European Striker of the Year 3rd place (2021)

Notes:

Where some Bandits finished their careers with upwards of 900 club appearances, Striker 3 spent much of his career on the Stamford Bridge and England bench. His career started slowly, coming on as a substitute regularly for the Bandits, before Chelsea snapped him up and sent him on loan to Sheff Utd. There he proved himself, but more often than not he found his compatriots relegating him to the bench on his return to Chelsea.

He remained loyal throughout his career, and despite missing out on numerous cup finals, he never made noises to leave. In all, he missed out on a few Premiership medals, domestic cups, and worst of all, he was not selected for either of Chelsea’s Champions League winning campaigns. He still takes home many medals, but it could’ve been so much better.

As a result of being left behind at Chelsea, he was never considered first choice for England ahead of his free scoring teammates. He ended with only eighteen goals in 54 games, and never had much chance to shine. He still takes home winners medals though.

He came close to winning World Footballer of the Year in 2017, but didn’t play enough to win the big awards. He ends with a good career, but thoughts on what might have been.

[kipfizh]

Idiot A – Retired 13/05/2026

Club Career:

Tottenham: Apps 87, Gls 11, Asts 14, MoM 9, YC 13, RC 3

Fiorentina: Apps 153, Gls 31, Asts 17, MoM 13, YC 16, RC 5

Tottenham: Apps 174, Gls 21, Asts 13, MoM 9, YC 22, RC 4

Leeds: Apps 78, Gls 5, Asts 7, MoM 3, YC 5, RC 2

Palermo: Apps 65, Gls 10, Asts 23, MoM 2, YC 8, RC 6

Everton: Apps 27, Gls 5, Asts 0, MoM 1, YC 3, RC 0

Blackburn: Apps 8, Gls 1, Asts 0, MoM 0, YC 0, RC 0

Total: Apps 592, Gls 86, Asts 70, MoM 47, YC 67, RC 20

Honours:

None

International Career:

England: Apps 49, Gls 3, Asts 6, MoM 1, YC 3, RC 0

Honours:

World Cup (2010, 2014), European Championships (2016)

Personal Awards:

None

Notes:

His constant griping meant that he ended up playing for six different clubs in his career, without winning a single honour with any of them. Perhaps this was because his attitude was bad for team spirit, or perhaps his steadfast refusal to play for the big clubs untimately cost him.

His best performances came at Fiorentina, but this wasn’t enough to see him compete in major finals. He also feel foul of referees, being sent for an early bath on no fewer than twenty occasions in his career. He did, however, score plenty and set up plenty despite often playing at full back.

On the international stage, his ability got him into the England squad early, where he won honours up to his mid 20s. However, his poor temperament and training attitude meant that he fell away while the ex-Bandits were shining, and his international career ended years ago.

He never came close to winning a personal honour, despite his great ability, and may leave football ruefully – he should’ve won something at some point.

Idiots never prosper.

[Jimbokav1971]

Excellent detail .

The thinh that strikes me first when I look at the above recaps, is the scoring ratio of Striker 3. He seems to have scored at a pretty similar rate to the other strikers, yet many of these appearances have been from the bench. It's a real shame he wasted himslef at Chelsea.

[kipfizh]

Turns out he rejected appeals to play one more season:

Left Mid 1 – Retired 30/06/2026

Club Career:

Bandits: Apps 13, Gls 3, Asts 1, MoM 0, YC 0, RC 0

Man Utd: Apps 42, Gls 9, Asts 9, MoM 4, YC 6, RC 0

Chelsea: Apps 875, Gls 141, Asts 82, MoM 71, YC 72, RC 9

Mallorca: Apps 27, Gls 6, Asts 10, MoM 3, YC 0, RC 1

Total: Apps 957, Gls 159, Asts 102, MoM 78, YC 78, RC 10

Honours:

Premiership (Chelsea 2009, 2012, 2013, 2017, 2018, 2021, 2022, 2023, 2024, 2025)

Conference South (Bandits 2007)

FA Cup (Chelsea 2012, 2014, 2024)

League Cup (Chelsea 2013, 2020)

FA Trophy (Bandits 2007)

Champions League (Chelsea 2013, 2017)

UEFA Cup (Chelsea 2012)

Intertoto Cup (Chelsea 2011)

Super Cup (Chelsea 2013, 2017)

Club World Championship (Chelsea 2013, 2017)

International Career:

England: Apps 148, Gls 27, Asts 25, MoM 10, YC 5, RC 0

Honours:

World Cup (2010, 2014), Confederations Cup (2013, 2017), European Championships (2016)

Personal Awards:

World Player of the Year (2017)

European Footballer of the Year (2018)

European Footballer of the Year 3rd place (2013)

European Midfielder of the Year (2018)

European Midfielder of the Year 3rd place (2013, 2016, 2019)

Notes:

Moved clubs regularly in his early career, spending one year at the Bandits before moving to Man Utd, and then on to Chelsea after just one season at Old Trafford. At Chelsea, he established himself as a goalscoring winger after a slow start under Jose Mourinho, who played him in central midfield. Once free to play in his best position, he rewarded his club with season after season of fantastic performances, winning hatfuls of domestic awards, including ten Premiership titles.

In his final season, he moved abroad to play for Mallorca on loan, and even at 36 played superbly for them.

At international level he shone even more, reaching a remarkable 148 caps and scoring freely in his time there. Combined with his domestic appearances, he managed perhaps more career games than any other Bandit, with a grand total of 1105.

On a personal level, he was recognised with a few awards, with the pinnacle of his career coming around 2017-18, where he won World and European honours.

He retires having played a large part in club and country success over the years, and with a well-earned stacked medal cabinet.

[Murt-the-Shepard]

So am i right in thinking only one coach so far? is there any other that might appear or is that it?

[Meitheisman]

Waoh, took me a while to go through all of this but that's an awesome update, congrats again on the great job Kipfizh!

[emgergo]

Nothing short of legendary

Love the carreer summaries.

[Walcott\'s Wonderkids]

Absolutely top class work as usual Kipfizh

Summaries were spot on in detail and certainly got across the points I had been feeling as I've read through this thread.

I see there aren't many of them going into coaching / managing - I wonder what the odds are that one of the them comes back to the Bandits as either a coach or a manager, that would be truly awesome.

I reckon the Bandits would probably have to get promoted into the Premierleague for this to happen though, as the players' world reputation at the moment will mean that they will surely go to posts at only the top clubs.

As I said earlier, great work

[amack1n]

Great thread. A quick quesion, just how good is right mid 1 in a non-playing role? Do we have a potential England manager on our hands or just another Steve McLaren?

[alexgary]

Hey Kip, been reading this thread for a while now. Terrific work! I've been glued to this story for ages.

Keep up the good work!

[klose11]

Brilliant career summaries, as this thread continues to keep me hooked.

Hopefully we'll start to see a few more ex-Bandits becoming coaches etc.

[Dick Van Winkle]

Brilliant update as always

KUTGW

[Fridgecake]

Just having a look through the database noticed a few things.

In response to amack1n, Steve McClaren has a CA of 155 and PA of 175 by my 7.0.2 database.

Also, if you search for England it gives you a famous players list, now I don't know whether this can be updated, but if so, there could be some ex bandits on that list. Is there a way to check with a save game editor or something? Would be interesting to know.

As always KUTGW, been a great read, its one of the 5 things in my internet favourites list

[wonglf]

i dont suppose you clould tell us the career average rating of all the players who retired?

also, are their goals scored the ones that are given on the history screen, or the total goals they've actually scored?

[amack1n]

Originally posted by Fridgecake:

In response to amack1n, Steve McClaren has a CA of 155 and PA of 175 by my 7.0.2 database.

Hmmm, 175 seems a bit higyh, might be difficult for any of the bandits ex players to equal or better that as a non-players.

I've seen many fantastic players become the worst coaches in history. Then again, I've seen some become awesome, so could be all random

[kipfizh]

To answer a few questions:

Right Mid 1 has CA and PA of 130, so he's not as much of a star coach as he was a player.

I could try to look for career average ratings, but it would be worked out from the numbers I've already given you. And yes, their stats are based upon their real history, not just the scaled down versions in their history screen. So I didn't just take the totals on that page, I added them up manually to get the true answer.

[gcormack]

love this thread have been reading it for the last few days and have finally caught up. i cant wait for the game to be posted so i can play it. come on you Bandits!

[Meitheisman]

Originally posted by wonglf:

i dont suppose you clould tell us the career average rating of all the players who retired?

Yes it's doable, it's just a simple calculation, what you need to do is:

- Take season #1 avg rating, multiply it by the # of games played.

- Do that for every season and add all of the numbers you obtained.

- Divide the final number by the number of games played in the player's career.

I'd do it but I won't have time for a couple of days so you'll either have to do it yourself or wait a little bit

[eddieskyclad]

Stick all the stats into Excel and let it do the maths for you...

[Meitheisman]

Retired players career average rating:

Center Mid 4 7.1943

Center Back 3 7.2864

Right Back 1 7.2930

Idiot A 7.3108

Striker 3 7.3445

Left Back 2 7.3674

Left Mid 1 7.3793

Center Back 4 7.4103

Right Mid 1 7.4459

Right Mid 2 7.4522

Center Back 1 7.4550

Striker 1 7.4572

Striker 2 7.7757

[gcormack]

you missed out idiot B

[Meitheisman]

Idiot B 7.2379

[VonBlade]

Originally posted by gcormack:

you missed out idiot B

Bloody typical. No "thanks but"; no "I'll do it myself", just "gimme gimme gimme".

Sigh

[Meitheisman]

No big deal... I did it for myself as much as for everybody else tbh

[kipfizh]

Meitheisman - that's fantastic, thanks for doing that. Amazing how good Striker 2 was throughout his career, although he did have the advantage of regular football.

[kipfizh]

Season 2026-27

Club report

2006-07

English Conference South: (Pos 1), P 42, W 30, D 6, L 6, F 82, A 29, GD +53, Pts 96

(Media Prediction: 22nd)

FA Cup: 2nd Round

FA Trophy: Winners

2007-08

English National Conference: (Pos 7), P 46, W 22, D 8, L 16, F 68, A 55, GD +13, Pts 74

(Media Prediction: 22nd)

FA Cup: 1st Round

FA Trophy: Finalist

2008-09

English National Conference: (Pos 7), P 46, W 19, D 12, L 15, F 73, A 65, GD +8, Pts 69

(Media Prediction: 17th)

FA Cup: 4th Qualifying Round

FA Trophy: 1st Round

2009-10

English National Conference: (Pos 9), P 46, W 19, D 12, L 15, F 58, A 57, GD +1, Pts 69

(Media Prediction: 10th)

FA Cup: 4th Qualifying Round

FA Trophy: 3rd Round

2010-11

English National Conference: (Pos 6), P 46, W 21, D 10, L 15, F 75, A 55, GD +20, Pts 73

(Media Prediction: 12th)

FA Cup: 1st Round

FA Trophy: 4th Round

2011-12

English National Conference: (Pos 18), P 46, W 16, D 9, L 21, F 59, A 66, GD -7, Pts 57

(Media Prediction: 8th)

FA Cup: 2nd Round

FA Trophy: 3rd Round

2012-13

English National Conference: (Pos 5), P 46, W 21, D 11, L 14, F 67, A 52, GD +15, Pts 74

(Media Prediction: 16th)

FA Cup: 2nd Round

FA Trophy: 4th Round

2013-14

English National Conference: (Pos 1), P 46, W 20, D 18, L 8, F 68, A 46, GD +22, Pts 78

(Media Prediction: 8th)

FA Cup: 1st Round

FA Trophy: 4th Round

2014-15

English League Two: (Pos 21), P 46, W 12, D 15, L 19, F 60, A 69, GD -9, Pts 51

(Media Prediction: 22nd)

FA Cup: 1st Round

League Cup: 1st Round

Johnstone’s Paint Trophy: South Quarter Final

2015-16

English League Two: (Pos 21), P 46, W 14, D 10, L 22, F 56, A 73, GD -17, Pts 52

(Media Prediction: 23rd)

FA Cup: 2nd Round

League Cup: 1st Round

Johnstone’s Paint Trophy: South 2nd Round

2016-17

English League Two: (Pos 6), P 46, W 17, D 16, L 13, F 64, A 51, GD 13, Pts 67

(Media Prediction: 24th)

FA Cup: 3rd Round

League Cup: 1st Round

Johnstone’s Paint Trophy: South 2nd Round

2017-18

English League Two: (Pos 15), P 46, W 16, D 14, L 16, F 63, A 65, GD -2, Pts 62

(Media Prediction: 10th)

FA Cup: 1st Round

League Cup: 3rd Round

Johnstone’s Paint Trophy: South 2nd Round

2018-19

English League Two: (Pos 7), P 46, W 19, D 12, L 15, F 64, A 62, GD 2, Pts 69

(Media Prediction: 16th)

FA Cup: 3rd Round

League Cup: 1st Round

Johnstone’s Paint Trophy: South 2nd Round

2019-20

English League Two: (Pos 6), P 46, W 18, D 13, L 15, F 69, A 66, GD 3, Pts 67

(Media Prediction: 10th)

FA Cup: 2nd Round

League Cup: 1st Round

Johnstone’s Paint Trophy: South Semi Final

2020-21

English League Two: (Pos 10), P 46, W 17, D 15, L 14, F 67, A 61, GD 6, Pts 66

(Media Prediction: 8th)

FA Cup: 1st Round

League Cup: 1st Round

Johnstone’s Paint Trophy: South 2nd Round

2021-22

English League Two: (Pos 1), P 46, W 25, D 9, L 12, F 74, A 54, GD 20, Pts 84

(Media Prediction: 10th)

FA Cup: 5th Round

League Cup: 1st Round

Johnstone’s Paint Trophy: Finalist

2022-23

English League One: (Pos 13), P 46, W 16, D 15, L 15, F 73, A 63, GD +10, Pts 63

(Media Prediction: 23rd)

FA Cup: 4th Round

League Cup: 3rd Round

Johnstone’s Paint Trophy: South Semi-Final

2023-24

English League One: (Pos 11), P 46, W 17, D 13, L 16, F 65, A 71, GD -6, Pts 64

(Media Prediction: 19th)

FA Cup: 2nd Round

League Cup: Finalist

Johnstone’s Paint Trophy: South 2nd Round

2024-25

English League One: (Pos 11), P 46, W 19, D 8, L 19, F 64, A 64, GD 0, Pts 65

(Media Prediction: 11th)

FA Cup: 1st Round

League Cup: Semi-Final

Johnstone’s Paint Trophy: South Quarter Final

2025-26

English League One: (Pos 18), P 46, W 13, D 16, L 17, F 64, A 62, GD +2, Pts 55

(Media Prediction: 13th)

FA Cup: 3rd Round

League Cup: 1st Round

Johnstone’s Paint Trophy: South 2nd Round[/b]

2026-27

English League One: (Pos 17), P 46, W 13, D 18, L 15, F 69, A 78, GD -9, Pts 57

(Media Prediction: 17th)

League

FA Cup: 1st Round

League Cup: 1st Round

Johnstone’s Paint Trophy: South 2nd Round

Despite scoring more goals this season, the Bandits were ruined by their defence, which went to pot and conceded more than in any season in their history. Dean Glover, the new manager, hasn’t met the fans expectations and hopes this time around, despite adding to the already strengthened squad with a few signings of his own.

The cups provided no respite, with the Bandits failing to make it past any round in any competition.

This has to go down as one of the worst seasons in their history. The only bright point is the standard of the squad itself, which remains much better than at any time in their history. But is Glover the man to turn that into success? Personally, I doubt it. We shall see.

[kipfizh]

Whoops, messed up the bold type above, but I'm sure you get the picture.

---

Player reports

Goalkeeper 1

2006-07, Bandits, CA 151: Apps 47, Conc 29, Cln 15, MoM 3, YC 5, RC 0, Avg 7.66

2007-08, Bandits, CA 166: Apps 49, Conc 56, Cln 12, MoM 6, YC 6, RC 0, Avg 7.51

2008-09, Bandits, CA 178: Apps 32, Conc 38, Cln 6, MoM 5, YC 4, RC 0, Avg 7.28

Transfers to Blackburn for 650k

2008-09, Blackburn, CA 178: Apps 14, Conc 16, Cln 4, MoM 2, YC 1, RC 0, Avg 7.21

2009-10, Blackburn, CA 184: Apps 41 (1), Conc 45, Cln 13, MoM 3, YC 5, RC 1, Avg 7.38

2010-11, Blackburn, CA 189: Apps 32, Conc 48, Cln 5, MoM 2, YC 3, RC 0, Avg 7.38

2011-12, Blackburn, CA 192: Apps 43, Conc 62, Cln 7, MoM 3, YC 6, RC 0, Avg 7.53

2012-13, Blackburn, CA 194: Apps 45, Conc 65, Cln 9, MoM 4, YC 9, RC 0, Avg 7.58

Transfers to Arsenal for 27m

2013-14, Arsenal, CA 196: Apps 56, Conc 70, Cln 18, MoM 7, YC 5, RC 0, Avg 7.46

2014-15, Arsenal, CA 197: Apps 43, Conc 34, Cln 19, MoM 5, YC 4, RC 0, Avg 7.74

2015-16, Arsenal, CA 198: Apps 33, Conc 30, Cln 13, MoM 4, YC 0, RC 1, Avg 7.61

2016-17, Arsenal, CA 199: Apps 40, Conc 49, Cln 10, MoM 0, YC 6, RC 0, Avg 7.38

2017-18, Arsenal, CA 200: Apps 51, Conc 57, Cln 16, MoM 3, YC 3, RC 0, Avg 7.49

2018-19, Arsenal, CA 200: Apps 56 (1), Conc 67, Cln 14, MoM 4, YC 3, RC 1, Avg 7.49

2019-20, Arsenal, CA 200: Apps 38 (2), Conc 39, Cln 13, MoM 3, YC 4, RC 0, Avg 7.55

2020-21, Arsenal, CA 200: Apps 51, Conc 67, Cln 13, MoM 6, YC 3, RC 0, Avg 7.53

2021-22, Arsenal, CA 191: Apps 41, Conc 41, Cln 14, MoM 4, YC 2, RC 0, Avg 7.54

2022-23, Arsenal, CA 191: Apps 49, Conc 52, Cln 11, MoM 3, YC 3, RC 2, Avg 7.55

2023-24, Arsenal, CA 189: Apps 36, Conc 40, Cln 12, MoM 7, YC 4, RC 1, Avg 7.61

2024-25, Arsenal, CA 185: Apps 52 (1), Conc 58, Cln 17, MoM 4, YC 5, RC 0, Avg 7.51

2025-26, Arsenal, CA 184: Apps 49 (2), Conc 47, Cln 19, MoM 8, YC 5, RC 0, Avg 7.57

2026-27, Arsenal, CA 182: Apps 46 (1), Conc 61, Cln 11, MoM 4, YC 3, RC 0, Avg 7.26

Notes: Now just over two years away from his 40th birthday, his CA remains superb, and his performances excellent, albeit a little down on previous years. An indication of his importance to Arsenal is that as he played a little worse, they slipped all the way down to 14th in an appalling season. How will they replace him, as they will surely have to before long?

Goalkeeper 2

2006-07, Bandits, CA 150: Apps 10 (4), Conc 6, Cln 8, MoM 1, YC 0, RC 0, Avg 7.93

Transfers to Leeds for 675k

2007-08, Leeds, CA 167: Apps 43, Conc 45, Cln 12, MoM 7, YC 2, RC 1, Avg 7.51

2008-09, Leeds, CA 181: Apps 35, Conc 45, Cln 4, MoM 3, YC 2, RC 0, Avg 7.26

2009-10, Leeds, CA 189: Apps 42, Conc 51, Cln 8, MoM 6, YC 3, RC 0, Avg 7.50

2010-11, Leeds, CA 191: Apps 37, Conc 41, Cln 8, MoM 4, YC 5, RC 0, Avg 7.46

2011-12, Leeds, CA 195: Apps 57, Conc 68, Cln 17, MoM 10, YC 6, RC 0, Avg 7.58

2012-13, Leeds, CA 196: Apps 51, Conc 77, Cln 4, MoM 1, YC 4, RC 1, Avg 7.27

2013-14, Leeds, CA 200: Apps 39, Conc 52, Cln 7, MoM 3, YC 5, RC 0, Avg 7.21

2014-15, Leeds, CA 200: Apps 59, Conc 72, Cln 14, MoM 8, YC 1, RC 0, Avg 7.46

2015-16, Leeds, CA 200: Apps 40, Conc 45, Cln 10, MoM 8, YC 6, RC 0, Avg 7.53

2016-17, Leeds, CA 200: Apps 56 (2), Conc 64, Cln 17, MoM 10, YC 6, RC 0, Avg 7.60

2017-18, Leeds, CA 200: Apps 41 (1), Conc 46, Cln 12, MoM 7, YC 3, RC 0, Avg 7.60

2018-19, Leeds, CA 200: Apps 56, Conc 62, Cln 12, MoM 6, YC 7, RC 0, Avg 7.45

2019-20, Leeds, CA 200: Apps 57, Conc 69, Cln 15, MoM 7, YC 5, RC 0, Avg 7.37

2020-21, Leeds, CA 192: Apps 43, Conc 54, Cln 10, MoM 3, YC 5, RC 0, Avg 7.30

2021-22, Leeds, CA 189: Apps 34 (2), Conc 37, Cln 12, MoM 5, YC 1, RC 0, Avg 7.64

2022-23, Leeds, CA 188: Apps 47, Conc 53, Cln 15, MoM 9, YC 4, RC 0, Avg 7.53

2023-24, Leeds, CA 185: Apps 31 (2), Conc 27, Cln 15, MoM 4, YC 3, RC 0, Avg 7.36

2024-25, Leeds, CA 185: Apps 37, Conc 48, Cln 11, MoM 2, YC 2, RC 0, Avg 7.41

2025-26, Leeds, CA 182: Apps 39 (3), Conc 37, Cln 17, MoM 6, YC 5, RC 0, Avg 7.57

2026-27, Leeds, CA 182: Apps 49 (1), Conc 52, Cln 17, MoM 8, YC 5, RC 0, Avg 7.60

Notes: Everything is maintained – his CA is the same as last summer, he performs slightly better, he is still first choice for England, where he adds another twelve caps to reach 129, and Leeds rise one more spot to finish second behind the relentless Chelsea machine. Shows no sign of being anywhere near retirement.

Left Back 1

2006-07, Bandits, CA 150: Apps 9 (5), Gls 0, Asts 0, MoM 0, YC 1, RC 0, Avg 7.14

Transfers to Tottenham on a free

2007-08, Tottenham, CA 165: Apps 42, Gls 1, Asts 4, MoM 1, YC 4, RC 0, Avg 7.21

2008-09, Tottenham, CA 175: Apps 40, Gls 0, Asts 1, MoM 3, YC 1, RC 0, Avg 7.30

2009-10, Tottenham, CA 187: Apps 45, Gls 0, Asts 4, MoM 2, YC 6, RC 0, Avg 7.11

2010-11, Tottenham, CA 194: Apps 40, Gls 1, Asts 2, MoM 3, YC 6, RC 1, Avg 7.35

2011-12, Tottenham, CA 197: Apps 39, Gls 1, Asts 2, MoM 2, YC 2, RC 0, Avg 7.31

2012-13, Tottenham, CA 200: Apps 42, Gls 2, Asts 2, MoM 2, YC 6, RC 0, Avg 7.36

2013-14, Tottenham, CA 200: Apps 35, Gls 0, Asts 1, MoM 2, YC 1, RC 0, Avg 7.31

2014-15, Tottenham, CA 200: Apps 51, Gls 1, Asts 3, MoM 3, YC 2, RC 0, Avg 7.31

2015-16, Tottenham, CA 200: Apps 43, Gls 0, Asts 2, MoM 0, YC 7, RC 0, Avg 7.19

2016-17, Tottenham, CA 200: Apps 43, Gls 1, Asts 1, MoM 3, YC 5, RC 1, Avg 7.28

2017-18, Tottenham, CA 200: Apps 45, Gls 0, Asts 4, MoM 2, YC 3, RC 1, Avg 7.36

2018-19, Tottenham, CA 193: Apps 39, Gls 3, Asts 2, MoM 1, YC 4, RC 1, Avg 7.36

2019-20, Tottenham, CA 191: Apps 46, Gls 0, Asts 3, MoM 7, YC 6, RC 0, Avg 7.24

2020-21, Tottenham, CA 190: Apps 39, Gls 3, Asts 3, MoM 4, YC 4, RC 0, Avg 7.38

2021-22, Tottenham, CA 186: Apps 19, Gls 1, Asts 1, MoM 0, YC 2, RC 0, Avg 7.21

2022-23, Tottenham, CA 182: Apps 46, Gls 0, Asts 5, MoM 2, YC 3, RC 1, Avg 7.43

2023-24, Tottenham, CA 178: Apps 38, Gls 1, Asts 2, MoM 5, YC 4, RC 2, Avg 7.47

2024-25, Tottenham, CA 174: Apps 38, Gls 0, Asts 3, MoM 7, YC 3, RC 0, Avg 7.58

2025-26, Tottenham, CA 161: Apps 39, Gls 0, Asts 1, MoM 4, YC 10, RC 0, Avg 7.31

2026-27, Tottenham, CA 152: Apps 40, Gls 1, Asts 3, MoM 1, YC 4, RC 0, Avg 7.30

Notes: Despite age catching up with him and his old colleague Left Back 2 retiring last summer, he shows no signs of giving up his glorious career just yet. Remains in favour with Tottenham, who remain in midtable, but falls out of the England reckoning, and his international career may be over with 84 caps and two goals. Refuses to retire.

Left Back 2 – Retired 30/06/2026

Right Back 1 – Retired 25/06/2026

Right Back 2

2006-07, Bandits, CA 155: Apps 50, Gls 1, Asts 7, MoM 5, YC 6, RC 1, Avg 7.70

Transfers to Liverpool for 24k

2007-08, Liverpool, CA 166: Apps 29 (8), Gls 1, Asts 6, MoM 4, YC 3, RC 0, Avg 7.03

2008-09, Liverpool, CA 178: Apps 51 (1), Gls 2, Asts 2, MoM 0, YC 4, RC 1, Avg 7.15

2009-10, Liverpool, CA 188: Apps 49 (1), Gls 4, Asts 2, MoM 3, YC 3, RC 0, Avg 7.34

2010-11, Liverpool, CA 195: Apps 54 (1), Gls 1, Asts 6, MoM 4, YC 4, RC 1, Avg 7.51

2011-12, Liverpool, CA 200: Apps 52 (1), Gls 2, Asts 2, MoM 2, YC 3, RC 2, Avg 7.38

2012-13, Liverpool, CA 200: Apps 54, Gls 0, Asts 2, MoM 6, YC 7, RC 1, Avg 7.54

2013-14, Liverpool, CA 200: Apps 49, Gls 1, Asts 1, MoM 2, YC 4, RC 0, Avg 7.47

2014-15, Liverpool, CA 200: Apps 57, Gls 3, Asts 6, MoM 7, YC 5, RC 0, Avg 7.49

2015-16, Liverpool, CA 200: Apps 51 (1), Gls 1, Asts 4, MoM 5, YC 6, RC 0, Avg 7.56

2016-17, Liverpool, CA 200: Apps 42, Gls 0, Asts 6, MoM 4, YC 7, RC 0, Avg 7.33

2017-18, Liverpool, CA 200: Apps 31, Gls 2, Asts 3, MoM 2, YC 3, RC 0, Avg 7.29

2018-19, Liverpool, CA 193: Apps 46, Gls 0, Asts 7, MoM 2, YC 1, RC 0, Avg 7.52

2019-20, Liverpool, CA 190: Apps 41, Gls 1, Asts 2, MoM 0, YC 5, RC 2, Avg 7.20

2020-21, Liverpool, CA 189: Apps 50 (1), Gls 0, Asts 6, MoM 1, YC 6, RC 0, Avg 7.41

2021-22, Liverpool, CA 191: Apps 50 (2), Gls 0, Asts 2, MoM 2, YC 6, RC 1, Avg 7.25

2022-23, Liverpool, CA 187: Apps 38, Gls 1, Asts 2, MoM 1, YC 2, RC 0, Avg 7.13

2023-24, Liverpool, CA 182: Apps 38 (1), Gls 0, Asts 2, MoM 2, YC 2, RC 0, Avg 7.33

2024-25, Liverpool, CA 175: Apps 43 (2), Gls 0, Asts 1, MoM 3, YC 4, RC 1, Avg 7.00

2025-26, Liverpool, CA 156: Apps 34 (6), Gls 1, Asts 6, MoM 2, YC 5, RC 0, Avg 7.18

2026-27, Liverpool, CA 139: Apps 2 (5), Gls 0, Asts 0, MoM 0, YC 0, RC 0, Avg 6.71

Notes: Finally falls out of favour at Anfield as his CA plummets to new lows, and with his international career also seemingly over at 78 caps with one goal, he decides that this summer is the time to retire. Liverpool finish 11th and will struggle to replace him, amongst others.

Centre Back 1 – Retired 13/06/2026

Centre Back 2

2006-07, Bandits, CA 151: Apps 3 (5), Gls 0, Asts 0, MoM 1, YC 1, RC 0, Avg 7.25

Transfers to Arsenal on a free

2007-08, Arsenal, CA 166: Apps 49, Gls 1, Asts 4, MoM 3, YC 7, RC 0, Avg 7.02

2008-09, Arsenal, CA 177: Apps 52, Gls 0, Asts 3, MoM 3, YC 3, RC 1, Avg 7.19

2009-10, Arsenal, CA 184: Apps 51, Gls 0, Asts 3, MoM 0, YC 2, RC 1, Avg 6.98

2010-11, Arsenal, CA 190: Apps 49, Gls 0, Asts 5, MoM 4, YC 5, RC 0, Avg 7.02

2011-12, Arsenal, CA 194: Apps 53, Gls 3, Asts 5, MoM 7, YC 5, RC 1, Avg 7.34

2012-13, Arsenal, CA 199: Apps 49, Gls 0, Asts 0, MoM 3, YC 5, RC 2, Avg 7.33

2013-14, Arsenal, CA 200: Apps 47, Gls 3, Asts 1, MoM 3, YC 5, RC 0, Avg 7.36

2014-15, Arsenal, CA 200: Apps 48, Gls 0, Asts 4, MoM 11, YC 8, RC 0, Avg 7.71

2015-16, Arsenal, CA 200: Apps 48, Gls 0, Asts 2, MoM 5, YC 8, RC 0, Avg 7.52

2016-17, Arsenal, CA 200: Apps 52, Gls 0, Asts 2, MoM 8, YC 6, RC 0, Avg 7.46

2017-18, Arsenal, CA 200: Apps 53, Gls 2, Asts 3, MoM 7, YC 5, RC 2, Avg 7.47

2018-19, Arsenal, CA 191: Apps 55, Gls 2, Asts 5, MoM 2, YC 8, RC 1, Avg 7.40

2019-20, Arsenal, CA 188: Apps 43, Gls 1, Asts 3, MoM 1, YC 4, RC 0, Avg 7.38

2020-21, Arsenal, CA 191: Apps 44, Gls 0, Asts 1, MoM 2, YC 2, RC 2, Avg 7.36

2021-22, Arsenal, CA 191: Apps 44, Gls 1, Asts 2, MoM 1, YC 6, RC 0, Avg 7.39

2022-23, Arsenal, CA 182: Apps 54, Gls 2, Asts 3, MoM 7, YC 1, RC 0, Avg 7.46

2023-24, Arsenal, CA 182: Apps 44, Gls 1, Asts 0, MoM 4, YC 1, RC 0, Avg 7.34

2024-25, Arsenal, CA 172: Apps 38 (2), Gls 1, Asts 0, MoM 3, YC 4, RC 0, Avg 7.35

2025-26, Arsenal, CA 149: Apps 33 (5), Gls 0, Asts 2, MoM 3, YC 4, RC 0, Avg 6.97

2026-27, Arsenal, CA 142: Apps 5 (5), Gls 0, Asts 0, MoM 0, YC 2, RC 0, Avg 6.80

Notes: No longer a first-teamer for Arsenal, who play him only occasionally, you would imagine he would follow the lead of his old centre back colleagues and retire. However, he stubbornly fights on, and appears to be planning another year. His international career certainly looks over with 68 caps and two goals.

Centre Back 3 – Retired 26/06/2026

Centre Back 4 – Retired 29/06/2026

Left Mid 1 – Retired 30/06/2026

Left Mid 2

2006-07, Bandits, CA 150: Apps 44, Gls 11, Asts 9, MoM 3, YC 3, RC 0, Avg 7.61

Transfers to Portsmouth for 300k

2007-08, Portsmouth, CA 165: Apps 40, Gls 7, Asts 3, MoM 0, YC 1, RC 0, Avg 7.28

2008-09, Portsmouth, CA 180: Apps 48, Gls 6, Asts 9, MoM 8, YC 4, RC 0, Avg 7.52

Transfers to Man Utd for 11.5m

2009-10, Man Utd, CA 185: Apps 57, Gls 15, Asts 4, MoM 7, YC 4, RC 0, Avg 7.42

2010-11, Man Utd, CA 190: Apps 51, Gls 10, Asts 7, MoM 6, YC 1, RC 1, Avg 7.51

2011-12, Man Utd, CA 196: Apps 50, Gls 7, Asts 7, MoM 5, YC 0, RC 0, Avg 7.50

2012-13, Man Utd, CA 200: Apps 50, Gls 8, Asts 12, MoM 6, YC 4, RC 0, Avg 7.72

2013-14, Man Utd, CA 200: Apps 37, Gls 11, Asts 3, MoM 2, YC 3, RC 0, Avg 7.68

2014-15, Man Utd, CA 200: Apps 48, Gls 8, Asts 7, MoM 5, YC 5, RC 0, Avg 7.58

2015-16, Man Utd, CA 200: Apps 43, Gls 10, Asts 6, MoM 5, YC 8, RC 0, Avg 7.60

2016-17, Man Utd, CA 200: Apps 40, Gls 5, Asts 8, MoM 6, YC 1, RC 1, Avg 7.88

2017-18, Man Utd, CA 194: Apps 40, Gls 1, Asts 7, MoM 2, YC 5, RC 0, Avg 7.25

2018-19, Man Utd, CA 189: Apps 39, Gls 5, Asts 3, MoM 3, YC 3, RC 0, Avg 7.54

2019-20, Man Utd, CA 189: Apps 36, Gls 8, Asts 3, MoM 0, YC 3, RC 1, Avg 7.25

2020-21, Man Utd, CA 194: Apps 39, Gls 5, Asts 2, MoM 1, YC 4, RC 0, Avg 7.36

2021-22, Man Utd, CA 190: Apps 37, Gls 10, Asts 5, MoM 5, YC 8, RC 0, Avg 7.41

2022-23, Man Utd, CA 187: Apps 45, Gls 8, Asts 5, MoM 2, YC 4, RC 0, Avg 7.33

2023-24, Man Utd, CA 180: Apps 45, Gls 7, Asts 3, MoM 7, YC 4, RC 0, Avg 7.58

2024-25, Man Utd, CA 161: Apps 53, Gls 4, Asts 6, MoM 5, YC 2, RC 1, Avg 7.42

2025-26, Man Utd, CA 136: Apps 40 (1), Gls 0, Asts 4, MoM 1, YC 8, RC 0, Avg 7.10

2026-27, Man Utd, CA 122: Apps 21 (6), Gls 5, Asts 3, MoM 0, YC 1, RC 0, Avg 6.70

Notes: Continues to play quite regularly for Man Utd, but his performances have now seriously dipped, so he decides to retire while still playing at a decent level. This will be his last season, and he will retire with 66 caps and 14 goals.

Right Mid 1 – Retired from playing 25/04/2026

2026-2027, Aston Villa (youth coach), CA 130, PA 130

2027-, Chelsea (assistant manager), CA 130, PA 130

Notes: Proof that those with high reputations always get a chance to groom themselves at the highest level – after one season as Aston Villa’s youth coach, he is hired as Chelsea assistant manager just before the end of the season. Can he help propel Chelsea to further honours?

Right Mid 2 – Retired 23/06/2026

Centre Mid 1

2006-07, Bandits, CA 150: Apps 18, Gls 0, Asts 2, MoM 1, YC 5, RC 0, Avg 7.17

Transfers to Man Utd for 675k

2007-08, Man Utd, CA 159: Apps 33 (5), Gls 1, Asts 2, MoM 1, YC 3, RC 2, Avg 6.55

2008-09, Man Utd, CA 173: Apps 10 (9), Gls 3, Asts 0, MoM 0, YC 1, RC 0, Avg 6.53

2009-10, Man Utd, CA 181: Apps 27 (13), Gls 6, Asts 4, MoM 5, YC 1, RC 0, Avg 7.18

2010-11, Man Utd, CA 191: Apps 18 (12), Gls 6, Asts 1, MoM 1, YC 2, RC 0, Avg 7.20

2011-12, Man Utd, CA 200: Apps 8 (23), Gls 5, Asts 3, MoM 1, YC 3, RC 0, Avg 7.06

2012-13, Man Utd, CA 200: Apps 20 (16), Gls 2, Asts 1, MoM 1, YC 1, RC 1, Avg 7.14

2013-14, Man Utd, CA 200: Apps 9 (16), Gls 3, Asts 1, MoM 0, YC 0, RC 1, Avg 7.08

2014-15, Man Utd, CA 200: Apps 7 (15), Gls 1, Asts 2, MoM 0, YC 1, RC 0, Avg 7.05

Transfers to Arsenal for 27m

2015-16, Arsenal, CA 200: Apps 51, Gls 3, Asts 10, MoM 5, YC 6, RC 0, Avg 7.43

2016-17, Arsenal, CA 196: Apps 49, Gls 7, Asts 6, MoM 5, YC 8, RC 0, Avg 7.69

2017-18, Arsenal, CA 197: Apps 55, Gls 10, Asts 10, MoM 3, YC 13, RC 0, Avg 7.58

2018-19, Arsenal, CA 190: Apps 48, Gls 3, Asts 5, MoM 4, YC 5, RC 1, Avg 7.56

2019-20, Arsenal, CA 189: Apps 42 (1), Gls 6, Asts 4, MoM 3, YC 1, RC 0, Avg 7.49

2020-21, Arsenal, CA 189: Apps 47, Gls 5, Asts 2, MoM 2, YC 5, RC 1, Avg 7.28

2021-22, Arsenal, CA 189: Apps 40, Gls 6, Asts 5, MoM 3, YC 3, RC 0, Avg 7.45

2022-23, Arsenal, CA 185: Apps 54, Gls 7, Asts 7, MoM 3, YC 4, RC 1, Avg 7.50

2023-24, Arsenal, CA 173: Apps 31 (1), Gls 4, Asts 3, MoM 1, YC 3, RC 0, Avg 7.34

2024-25, Arsenal, CA 165: Apps 47 (1), Gls 5, Asts 6, MoM 2, YC 6, RC 1, Avg 7.21

2025-26, Arsenal, CA 143: Apps 14 (1), Gls 1, Asts 0, MoM 0, YC 1, RC 1, Avg 6.80

Transfers to Hull on a free transfer

2026-27, Hull, CA 126: Apps 1 (2), Gls 1, Asts 0, MoM 0, YC 0, RC 0, Avg 7.00

Notes: Joined Championship strugglers Hull on a free transfer after being released by Arsenal in the summer, but isn’t played and Hull finish bottom to join the Bandits in League One. Will he play his former club next season? He certainly isn’t taking the retirement hint, and plans to carry on despite his ability fading badly. His international career has stalled on 78 caps and nine goals.

Centre Mid 2

2006-07, Bandits, CA 150: Apps 2, Gls 0, Asts 0, MoM 0, YC 0, RC 0, Avg 7.00

Transfers to Portsmouth on a free

2007-08, Portsmouth, CA 165: Apps 47, Gls 3, Asts 1, MoM 5, YC 7, RC 1, Avg 7.21

Transfers to Man Utd for 11.25m[/b}

2008-09, Man Utd, CA 180: Apps 33 (5), Gls 5, Asts 5, MoM 2, YC 4, RC 0, Avg 6.82

2009-10, Man Utd, CA 184: Apps 50 (2), Gls 11, Asts 6, MoM 3, YC 8, RC 0, Avg 7.58

2010-11, Man Utd, CA 189: Apps 45 (5), Gls 12, Asts 7, MoM 4, YC 6, RC 1, Avg 7.52

2011-12, Man Utd, CA 193: Apps 47 (1), Gls 5, Asts 4, MoM 4, YC 5, RC 1, Avg 7.46

2012-13, Man Utd, CA 200: Apps 43 (4), Gls 14, Asts 5, MoM 5, YC 1, RC 1, Avg 7.51

2013-14, Man Utd, CA 200: Apps 46 (1), Gls 16, Asts 5, MoM 9, YC 6, RC 1, Avg 7.68

2014-15, Man Utd, CA 200: Apps 46 (1), Gls 5, Asts 5, MoM 4, YC 5, RC 0, Avg 7.49

Transfers to Chelsea for 47.5m

2015-16, Chelsea, CA 200: Apps 34 (16), Gls 4, Asts 6, MoM 0, YC 4, RC 0, Avg 7.26

2016-17, Chelsea, CA 200: Apps 54, Gls 3, Asts 7, MoM 6, YC 6, RC 2, Avg 7.46

2017-18, Chelsea, CA 200: Apps 48 (2), Gls 6, Asts 3, MoM 2, YC 4, RC 0, Avg 7.32

2018-19, Chelsea, CA 191: Apps 44 (2), Gls 5, Asts 5, MoM 0, YC 3, RC 1, Avg 7.24

2019-20, Chelsea, CA 190: Apps 39 (1), Gls 3, Asts 3, MoM 2, YC 2, RC 0, Avg 7.35

2020-21, Chelsea, CA 189: Apps 43 (5), Gls 5, Asts 4, MoM 2, YC 6, RC 0, Avg 7.15

2021-22, Chelsea, CA 189: Apps 35 (4), Gls 2, Asts 5, MoM 2, YC 5, RC 1, Avg 7.23

2022-23, Chelsea, CA 187: Apps 42 (4), Gls 3, Asts 3, MoM 3, YC 1, RC 1, Avg 7.22

2023-24, Chelsea, CA 183: Apps 32 (5), Gls 3, Asts 4, MoM 1, YC 4, RC 0, Avg 6.84

2024-25, Chelsea, CA 171: Apps 33 (3), Gls 2, Asts 3, MoM 1, YC 5, RC 0, Avg 6.89

2025-26, Chelsea, CA 137: Apps 0 (1), Gls 0, Asts 0, MoM 0, YC 0, RC 0, Avg 6.00

2026-27, No Club, CA 116: Apps -, Gls -, Asts -, MoM -, YC -, RC -, Avg -

Notes: Undeterred by last season’s hunt for a club, he tried again all season but no-one was willing to take him on. He finally takes the hint and will retire this summer with 108 caps and six goals.

Centre Mid 3

2006-07, Bandits, CA 150: Apps 40 (1), Gls 2, Asts 6, MoM 1, YC 4, RC 0, Avg 7.41

2007-08, Bandits, CA 165: Apps 53, Gls 9, Asts 9, MoM 8, YC 4, RC 0, Avg 7.45

Transfers to Man Utd for 975k[/b]

2008-09, Man Utd, CA 180: Apps 41 (2), Gls 8, Asts 6, MoM 2, YC 4, RC 0, Avg 7.00

2009-10, Man Utd, CA 186: Apps 36, Gls 6, Asts 5, MoM 9, YC 2, RC 0, Avg 7.75

2010-11, Man Utd, CA 194: Apps 43 (7), Gls 10, Asts 3, MoM 6, YC 5, RC 1, Avg 7.52

2011-12, Man Utd CA 200: Apps 47 (1), Gls 12, Asts 4, MoM 4, YC 5, RC 0, Avg 7.50

2012-13, Man Utd, CA 200: Apps 45 (3), Gls 10, Asts 4, MoM 5, YC 4, RC 1, Avg 7.31

2013-14, Man Utd, CA 200: Apps 45 (2), Gls 6, Asts 6, MoM 5, YC 3, RC 2, Avg 7.36

2014-15, Man Utd, CA 200: Apps 44, Gls 3, Asts 4, MoM 1, YC 4, RC 0, Avg 7.43

2015-16, Man Utd, CA 200: Apps 50, Gls 2, Asts 7, MoM 9, YC 6, RC 0, Avg 7.54

2016-17, Man Utd, CA 196: Apps 36, Gls 0, Asts 6, MoM 0, YC 3, RC 0, Avg 7.31

2017-18, Man Utd, CA 190: Apps 39, Gls 4, Asts 2, MoM 0, YC 8, RC 0, Avg 7.46

2018-19, Man Utd, CA 188: Apps 32, Gls 3, Asts 6, MoM 3, YC 4, RC 0, Avg 7.59

2019-20, Man Utd, CA 193: Apps 39, Gls 4, Asts 4, MoM 7, YC 6, RC 1, Avg 7.44

2020-21, Man Utd, CA 194: Apps 36, Gls 1, Asts 4, MoM 0, YC 6, RC 1, Avg 7.22

2021-22, Man Utd, CA 189: Apps 34, Gls 3, Asts 4, MoM 3, YC 8, RC 1, Avg 7.38

2022-23, Man Utd, CA 184: Apps 45, Gls 5, Asts 2, MoM 1, YC 5, RC 0, Avg 7.40

2023-24, Man Utd, CA 182: Apps 44, Gls 6, Asts 2, MoM 3, YC 6, RC 2, Avg 7.23

2024-25, Man Utd, CA 169: Apps 52 (1), Gls 4, Asts 4, MoM 2, YC 6, RC 1, Avg 7.40

2025-26, Man Utd, CA 131: Apps 27 (3), Gls 2, Asts 2, MoM 1, YC 1, RC 0, Avg 7.03

2026-27, Man Utd, CA 118: Apps 3 (1), Gls 0, Asts 1, MoM 1, YC 1, RC 0, Avg 7.25

Notes: With his CA dropping to a lowly 118, having been released from Man Utd, and seeing his international career surely end on 100 caps and five goals, it might seem the time is right to retire, but he doesn’t see things that way and is determined to find another club.

Centre Mid 4 – Retired 22/06/2026

Striker 1 – Retired 24/06/2026

Striker 2 – Retired 27/06/2026

Striker 3 – Retired 30/06/2026

Striker 4

2006-07, Bandits, CA 150: Apps 55 (2), Gls 31, Asts 2, MoM 5, YC 4, RC 0, Avg 7.91

2007-08, Bandits, CA 166: Apps 2, Gls 4, Asts 0, MoM 2, YC 0, RC 0, Avg 9.00

Transfers to Liverpool on a free

2007-08, Liverpool, CA 166: Apps 46 (1), Gls 23, Asts 4, MoM 5, YC 3, RC 1, Avg 7.34

2008-09, Liverpool, CA 180: Apps 52, Gls 26, Asts 0, MoM 6, YC 4, RC 0, Avg 7.52

2009-10, Liverpool, CA 190: Apps 45, Gls 25, Asts 1, MoM 11, YC 6, RC 0, Avg 7.87

2010-11, Liverpool, CA 194: Apps 53, Gls 31, Asts 2, MoM 9, YC 6, RC 1, Avg 7.83

2011-12, Liverpool, CA 200: Apps 58, Gls 42, Asts 5, MoM 14, YC 5, RC 0, Avg 8.07

2012-13, Liverpool, CA 200: Apps 55, Gls 33, Asts 4, MoM 11, YC 7, RC 1, Avg 7.85

2013-14, Liverpool, CA 200: Apps 49, Gls 37, Asts 1, MoM 14, YC 8, RC 0, Avg 8.22

2014-15, Liverpool, CA 200: Apps 51, Gls 33, Asts 3, MoM 11, YC 6, RC 0, Avg 7.88

2015-16, Liverpool, CA 200: Apps 48, Gls 33, Asts 1, MoM 5, YC 3, RC 0, Avg 7.96

2016-17, Liverpool, CA 200: Apps 46, Gls 27, Asts 0, MoM 9, YC 6, RC 0, Avg 7.76

2017-18, Liverpool, CA 186: Apps 36, Gls 27, Asts 1, MoM 11, YC 2, RC 0, Avg 7.97

2018-19, Liverpool, CA 189: Apps 48, Gls 32, Asts 3, MoM 11, YC 7, RC 0, Avg 7.90

2019-20, Liverpool, CA 190: Apps 41, Gls 25, Asts 1, MoM 8, YC 5, RC 0, Avg 7.85

2020-21, Liverpool, CA 188: Apps 53, Gls 28, Asts 3, MoM 10, YC 4, RC 1, Avg 7.74

2021-22, Liverpool, CA 186: Apps 38, Gls 20, Asts 2, MoM 4, YC 4, RC 0, Avg 7.87

2022-23, Liverpool, CA 178: Apps 39, Gls 20, Asts 2, MoM 7, YC 5, RC 0, Avg 7.72

2023-24, Liverpool, CA 179: Apps 40, Gls 25, Asts 0, MoM 7, YC 3, RC 0, Avg 7.82

2024-25, Liverpool, CA 172: Apps 35, Gls 19, Asts 3, MoM 3, YC 2, RC 0, Avg 7.86

2025-26, Liverpool, CA 153: Apps 41 (2), Gls 23, Asts 0, MoM 4, YC 7, RC 0, Avg 7.63

2026-27, Liverpool, CA 131: Apps 0 (1), Gls 0, Asts 0, MoM 0, YC 0, RC 0, Avg 7.00

Notes: Out of the blue, and despite everything he’s proved to them, Liverpool suddenly decide that he is no longer good enough to merit a first team place, limiting him to just one substitute appearance. It is probably not a coincidence that Liverpool finished in the bottom half. He takes the hint, and decides to retire in the summer, with 119 caps and 82 goals to his name at international level.

Idiot A – Retired 13/05/2026

Idiot B – Retired 22/06/2023

[kipfizh]

Other stats

England won their World Cup group despite a 1-1 draw with Japan, and after thumping Paraguay 8-0, they knocked out Italy and Croatia to reach the final. A 2-2 draw with Germany meant it went to penalties with the old enemy, and for once England came out on top to win their first World Cup in twelve years, ironically without many of the ex-Bandits.

Following the tournament, England manager Ian McDonald retired, and was replaced by Josh Herbert, who looks more like a scout than a manager.

The unsurprising news is that they are top of the European Championship qualifying group, with four wins out of four and no goals conceded.

Chelsea racked up their seventh successive Premiership title, putting paid to the theory that once their ex-Bandits retired, they’d fall away. Liverpool and Arsenal especially struggled.

Premiership

Chelsea claimed the domestic treble, hammering Middlesborough 4-0 in the FA Cup final, and beating West Ham on penalties in the League Cup.

And they so nearly managed the unprecedented quadruple, eventually losing to ten-man Milan on penalties in the Champions League final. Meanwhile, Zaragoza overcame Bremen in the UEFA Cup.

[kipfizh]

Summary

The Bandits had a terrible season, saved only by the fact that they didn’t go down. Out of the cups at the first hurdle each time, and conceding more than ever before, it looks gloomy.

But it doesn’t need to be. The squad is now pretty strong, much stronger than Dean Glover is making it appear. He needs to turn things around, and fast, because this squad of players has the potential to reach the Championship. It’s the manager that’s the problem.

So most of the Bandits missed out on the coaching careers they were after, leaving the game entirely. I thought they’d be followed by the rest of the outfield players this season but only four more are hanging up their boots. How will the remaining fare next season, aged 38?

Right Mid 1 has already made the step up to Chelsea assistant manager – is he being groomed for the top job?

And England won the World Cup, without so many of those starlets. It was a bad year for the reputations of the ex-Bandits, as Chelsea, after losing so many of them to retirement, were one penalty shoot out away from claiming the quadruple.

Bandit’s former manager watch

Justin Edinburgh’s Sunderland dropped just one place to 13th in the Premiership, but steered well clear of relegation again, finishing a place above Arsenal.

Wrexham, led by Steve Brackstone, finished a respectable seventh in the Championship, just outside the playoffs.

Gary Perry raised Sheff Utd up from last season’s placing on 20th in League One to finish 11th.

[Jimbokav1971]

That was a bit close for comfort !

[kipfizh]

Bandits squad

General

Stats

Finance Overview

Interested Players

A big drop in interested players this season, from 6488 down to 6195. They’re going backwards.

Top 20 in Squad (sorted by CA)

Name, Pos, Age, CA-PA

Kirk, MC, 28, 135-135 (+0)

Jones, MC, 28, 126-126 – new signing

Bryan, DC, 31, 124-135 (-5)

Abbott, GK, 26, 122-133 (+2)

Pendleton, DR, 27, 121-121 (0)

Stevens, D/WB RL, 21, 120-125 – new signing

Jenkins, ST, 29, 118-119 (-1)

Millership, ST, 26, 118-118 – new signing

Townsend, DC, 27, 116-116 (0)

Stephens, AML, 24, 113-119 – new signing

Mike, ST, 25, 112-112 – new signing

Hearn, AM RC, 19, 111-130 – new signing

Hughes, DL, 31, 109-138 (-6)

Ashton, DRL, 31, 107-115 (-5)

Potter, D/WB R, 20, 104-116 – new entry in top 20, youth player

Harvey, MC, 30, 104-111 (-2)

Pearson, AM LC, 30, 103-111 (-2)

Johnson, AM RC, 20, 101-109 – new signing

Elliott, FC, 19, 100-126 – new signing

Leary, ST, 19, 100-119 – new entry in top 20, youth player

Players in last season’s top 20 who have left the club:

Tomlinson, MC, 28, 123-123

MacLaren, M LC, 22, 122-138

Atkinson, GK, 35, 115-116

Davies, D/WB L, 28, 106-109

Hart, DR, 22, 104-109

Players in last season’s top 20 who have dropped out of the top 20:

Slade, ST, 23, 100-100 (0)

Bowles, AML, 33, 99-134 (-10)

Miller, DC, 30, 99-111 (0)

McKee, AM RL, 32, 96-132 (-17)

Bryant, ST, 31, 92-113 (-11)

A bunch more signings means that the squad is bigger than ever, and the ages of the players signed is much younger than normal. Plenty of strikers and attacking midfielders are brought in, despite Glover being described as very cautious, but the squad certainly looks decent – players are dropping out of the top 20 without getting worse, which always suggests and improvement.

But is the manager good enough? His CA is now 86, five less than last summer (his PA of 110 is almost irrelevant), and at 63 seems to be getting even worse. I hope he has a bad enough season to get sacked, without ruining the club. He isn’t taking them in the right direction. This group of players, combined with a good coach, could get promoted.

CA of X or above:

190 : 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0

180 : 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0

170 : 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0

160 : 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0

150 : 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0

140 : 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0

130 : 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 1, 1

120 : 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 1, 1, 0, 1, 1, 1, 0, 1, 2, 2, 6, 6

110 : 0, 2, 2, 3, 2, 6, 7, 6, 6, 7, 8, 7, 7, 9, 10, 10, 12, 12

100 : 2, 4, 7, 7, 6, 13, 13, 12, 13, 13, 16, 12, 12, 12, 16, 16, 19, 21

90 : 7, 11, 10, 9, 10, 16, 17, 15, 15, 20, 22, 16, 15, 17, 20, 22, 29, 33

80 : 13, 14, 13, 13, 16, 21, 21, 18, 16, 21, 26, 20, 22, 21, 26, 26, 34, 36

70 : 19, 22, 21, 20, 22, 27, 25, 19, 23, 25, 30, 23, 25, 27, 28, 30, 35, 39

60 : 26, 26, 25, 23, 24, 32, 30, 24, 26, 30, 32, 26, 28, 28, 38, 33, 40, 44

50 : 30, 31, 31, 26, 26, 35, 33, 28, 32, 34, 35, 30, 32, 34, 42, 37, 43, 46

At no level at they worse, and everywhere from 100+ down they have more players. The squad is ready for big things – is the manager?

[kipfizh]

Best and Worst

New records:

None

This season:

Best player – Abbott, 7.23

Top scorer – Mike, 23

Worst player – Bryan, 6.46

The Bandits drop a place to sixth in the rich club list:

Rich Clubs

[kipfizh]

Right Back 2 – Retired 02/07/2027

Club Career:

Bandits: Apps 50, Gls 1, Asts 7, MoM 5, YC 6, RC 1

Liverpool: Apps 891, Gls 20, Asts 68, MoM 52, YC 80, RC 9

Total: Apps 941, Gls 21, Asts 75, MoM 57, YC 86, RC 10

Honours:

Premiership (Liverpool 2014)

Conference South (Bandits 2007)

FA Cup (Liverpool 2021)

FA Trophy (Bandits 2007)

UEFA Cup (Liverpool 2011)

Intertoto Cup (Liverpool 2020)

International Career:

England: Apps 78, Gls 1, Asts 12, MoM 5, YC 3, RC 0

Honours:

World Cup (2010, 2014), Confederations Cup (2013, 2017), European Championships (2016)

Personal Awards:

World Player of the Year (2013, 2015)

World Footballer of the Year (2013)

World Footballer of the Year 3rd place (2012, 2015, 2016)

European Defender of the Year 2nd place (2012, 2017, 2020)

Notes:

After a superb start to his career at the Bandits, where he was an integral part of the Conference South winning side, he moved on to Liverpool, where he spent exactly twenty years, appearing nearly 900 times in the process. He managed over a thousand games in his career, including internationals.

Liverpool have not been a title winning side though, with just the one Premiership in 2014, and while he also takes a few cups home, he missed out on many trophies because the team around him weren’t so good. That said, he was incredibly loyal to them, and while not a great goalscorer, he offered a lot creatively.

On the international stage, he managed just one goal in 78 appearances, but was a solid and consistent member of the team, winning two World Cups, along with the other two major honours, in an excellent career.

On a personal level, he was recognised in his mid 20s, when he picked up two World Player of the Year awards, unusual for a full back, and one World Footballer of the Year award. Strangely, he was not recognised on the European stage as easily.

He has had a solid career, and Liverpool will look back fondly upon him, but he may look jealously at some of the medal cabinets of his former teammates.

[kipfizh]

Left Mid 2 – Retired 29/06/2027

Club Career:

Bandits: Apps 44, Gls 11, Asts 9, MoM 3, YC 3, RC 0

Portsmouth: Apps 88, Gls 13, Asts 12, MoM 8, YC 5, RC 0

Man Utd: Apps 778, Gls 127, Asts 95, MoM 68, YC 68, RC 4

Total: Apps 910, Gls 151, Asts 116, MoM 79, YC 76, RC 4

Honours:

Championship (Man Utd 2016, 2022)

Conference South (Bandits 2007)

FA Cup (Man Utd 2010)

League Cup (Man Utd 2024)

FA Trophy (Bandits 2007)

International Career:

England: Apps 66, Gls 14, Asts 13, MoM 1, YC 4, RC 0

Honours:

World Cup (2010), Confederations Cup (2013, 2017), European Championships (2016)

Personal Awards:

World Player of the Year 3rd place (2010)

World Footballer of the Year 3rd place (2017)

Notes:

After an excellent start to his career, he probably thought he was making a dream move to Old Trafford, where he’d win medal after medal in a strong setup. It wasn’t to be. Apart from an early FA Cup medal, he had to wait until 2024 to claim a League Cup. That, along with lower division honours, is the sum total of his medal cabinet.

Man Utd started to struggle a few years after he joined, and they’ve also had two stints in the Championship, both ended with instant returns. But these years have hurt the reputation of the player, and this has caused him to struggle to fulfil his potential.

On the international stage, he played very well when called upon, but his tally of 66 caps is dwarfed by many of his former colleagues. He still managed to win major international honours, however.

He was never able to pick up awards on a personal level, probably because he played for a struggling side for two decades. He was in the running a couple of times, but never made that final step up.

When all is said and done, he is likely to say he enjoyed his time at Old Trafford, but with hindsight would probably have moved elsewhere.

[kipfizh]

Centre Mid 2 – Retired 13/05/2027

Club Career:

Bandits: Apps 2, Gls 0, Asts 0, MoM 0, YC 0, RC 0

Portsmouth: Apps 47, Gls 3, Asts 1, MoM 5, YC 7, RC 1

Man Utd: Apps 329, Gls 68, Asts 37, MoM 31, YC 35, RC 4

Chelsea: Apps 447, Gls 36, Asts 43, MoM 19, YC 40, RC 5

Total: Apps 825, Gls 107, Asts 81, MoM 55, YC 82, RC 10

Honours:

Premiership (Chelsea 2017, 2018, 2021, 2022, 2023, 2024, 2025)

FA Cup (Man Utd 2010, Chelsea 2024)

Champions League (Chelsea 2017)

Super Cup (Chelsea 2017)

Club World Championship (Chelsea 2017)

International Career:

England: Apps 108, Gls 6, Asts 16, MoM 1, YC 7, RC 0

Honours:

World Cup (2010), Confederations Cup (2017), European Championships (2016)

Personal Awards:

World Player of the Year (2019)

World Player of the Year 3rd place (2017)

World Footballer of the Year (2018)

World Footballer of the Year 3rd place (2019)

European Footballer of the Year 2nd place (2018, 2019)

European Midfielder of the Year 2nd place (2018, 2019)

Notes:

After struggling to make it into the Bandits team with the competition around him, he made his move to Championship Portsmouth, where he spent one excellent season. Man Utd soon swooping, tempting him away from the south coast, and he had a tremendous record at Old Trafford, scoring around a goal every four games from central midfield, a stunning record.

He was a crowd favourite, and one of football’s hottest properties, but Man Utd were struggling, and when they got relegated to the Championship, Chelsea came sniffing round, and snapped him up for 47.5m, still the world record transfer fee. They made him operate in a more defensive role, and his goalscoring slowed down. However, he started to collect medals, ending up with seven Premiership titles.

On the international stage, he was one of the first names on the teamsheet. Deployed, as at Chelsea, in a holding role, he only scored six goals in over a century of games, but he was a key player nonetheless. He was unfortunate to miss out on a few trophies because of injury.

It seems that personal awards really do only go to those at the top clubs. He never played as well for Chelsea as he did for Man Utd, but it was only when he moved to Stamford Bridge and started winning titles that he was considered for personal honours, winning both World Player of the Year and World Footballer of the Year in his time there.

He will be remembered as a vibrant attacking midfielder who was converted to a defensive role by an efficient Chelsea team, but he might feel he could’ve been more of a star had he retained his attacking license. A stunning career, in any case.