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The Commentators Curse: Volume 1 – The Battle of the ‘stans’ (Holiday / Sign Up


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<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Walcott's Wonderkids:

12/16 Turkmenistan players have been called up - De Santiago, Koppers, Libertinho and Tomaldinho missing out. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Thats fine with me. Want a club badly. Any idea what clubs I could possibly be assigned to?

Would like to become a star player at whatever club I start with icon_wink.gif hint hint.

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<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by LibLibertine:

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Walcott's Wonderkids:

12/16 Turkmenistan players have been called up - De Santiago, Koppers, Libertinho and Tomaldinho missing out. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Thats fine with me. Want a club badly. Any idea what clubs I could possibly be assigned to?

Would like to become a star player at whatever club I start with icon_wink.gif hint hint. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Haha, well my idea was because I have 18 countries with playable leagues up and running I would click the randomise button on the new manager screen to select each of the four of you a team.

There are a couple of limits to that though: as you haven't been signed I wouldn't assign you to a team in the English, Spanish or Italian top league (to make it fair on the guys who have already been signed to far flung destinations) and I wouldn't let you join a team that someone else is already at - just to add a bit more variety.

If thats ok with any of the four of you then I will do that at the end of Sept?

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<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">FC Twente made it through their UEFA Cup qualifier, winning 3-1 on agg, but Koppers didn't play in the 2nd leg. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Jippi. But didn't get a call-up? Think Turkmenistan is loaded with world-class left backsicon_smile.gif

Is it possible we can get a call up for our second nation?

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<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Taunton:

Is it possible we can get a call up for our second nation? </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

I hope not icon_wink.gif If I've done it right, everyone should have declared their love for their main nation and refuse any other call ups

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Tajikistan Vs Turkmenistan

Turkmenistan was 13-8 outsiders for this game being played in sweltering 38 degrees Celsius, with key man being Captain Luke Swinson.

Pre Match Info

9 start the game with Stelios, Rossini and Gonzalez on the bench.

First Half Review:

Fairly boring half really, Turkmenistan looked to have the slight advantage until the 38th minute when Tajikistan took the lead with a fine strike from the edge of the area from Murtazoev.

HT: Tajikistan 1 v 0 Turkmenistan

Rossini replaces Ali Obeid at half-time

Half Time Action Stats

Second Half Review:

Despite Gonzalez (61) and Stelios (72) entering the fray, nobody from Turkmenistan wanted to take the bull by its horns and create anything. The only action really was Mendieta getting a yellow card for shoving one of their players in injury time. A snooze fest.

FT: Tajikistan 1 v 0 Turkmenistan

Full Time Action Stats

Player Stats

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Pakistan Vs Kyrgyzstan

Sat 2nd Sept 2006

Kyrgyzstan are the 1-6 heavy favourites for this match (Pakistan apparently are much worse than Tajikistan – learn something new everyday!), key man is Sam Taphouse.

Pre Match Info

10 start the match, Elfdog and Freealdinho on the bench. Azeryk didn’t recover from injury in time.

First Half Review:

Surprise early lead for Pakistan with a deflected shot after just 2 minutes.

Quick reply with Alan netting a 25 yarder into the topleft of the goal on 10 minutes.

Despite Alan missing a sitter after 27 minutes, Prof Frink gives Kyrgyzstan the lead after 30 minutes with a header from a free kick.

On the 40 minute mark, Taphouse delivers a ‘Becks like’ cross and Bill thunderously drives home.

HT: Pakistan 1 v 3 Kyrgyzstan

Much more exciting game than Turkmenistan’s one and its just half-time.

Half Time Action Stats

Alan becomes Capt for the 2nd half.

Second Half Review:

I quote ‘Bill buried another of his trademark pile-drivers’ after 59 minutes. Then, Lawro instantly subs him. On comes Freealdinho.

Rest of the game is at pedestrian pace as Kyrgyzstan take their foot off the gas.

FT: Pakistan 1 v 4 Kyrgyzstan

Full Time Action Stats

Player Stats

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<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">I hope not If I've done it right, everyone should have declared their love for their main nation and refuse any other call ups </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Wonderful. Because I have tattooed the Turkmenistan flag in the back of my neck icon_smile.gif

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Player Cam September Announcement:

After the 2 friendly fixtures, I felt that it was only right that the honour of the first person to feature in Player Cam Mode is...... Bill

Some facts about Bill for those not familar with him:

Name: Bill

Nation: Kyrgyzstan

Position: Stiker

Team / League: Belenenses in Portugal's Premier Division

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Player Cam Match Report

Sun 10th Sept: E.Amadora v Belenenses - league match

Bill started on the subs bench today, but Belenenses took an early lead in the 12th minute.

HT: E.Amadora 0 v 1 Belenenses

Introduction of Bill

Bill came on in the 71st minute for his 2nd app for Belenenses, but E.Amadora equalised with 10 minutes to go.

Bill was then moved from his attacking left wing position to lying behind the 2 strikers.

It didn’t seem to be an eventful game for Bill till injury time, when he first received a yellow card, then had 2 chances to win it – a curling shot from 25 yards which went high and wide, then with the last quick of the game Bill hit his shot straight at the keeper from inside the area.

FT: E.Amadora 1 v 1 Belenenses

Player Stats

Analysis:

An ok performance by Bill, shame he couldn't snatch the winner at the end. Will probably be on the bench for the next game as well.

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Hi,

First financial stats posted here. It is calculated as wages per week from Sept 1 to Feb 1. The total is therefore the total to be earned until Feb 1.

£12.650 Zuvzonamin Lui

£2.420 Elfdog

£3.080 Ryan

£11.550 Davo

£1.870 Habib Halali

£0 Jacariah Birkinaldo

£14.300 Professor Frink

£0 George Robson

£12.650 Salman Al-Dahash

£12.100 Benj

£12.650 Sam Taphouse

£0 El Loco Bartinho

£12.650 Bill

£11.550 Azeryk

£11.550 Freealdinho

£13.200 Alan

£14.850 Fabiov Maldinov

£16.500 Alvaro De Santiago

£30.800 Samaras Taraldo

£8.800 Ghoolbi Dumats

£6.600 Humphrey Koppers

£11.550 Hermandinho

£13.200 Turkus Mendieta

£0 Libertinho

£5.500 Roberto Rossini

£4.180 Tomaldinho

£9.900 Luke Swinson

£12.650 Ulfinos Chaoconov

£12.650 Abullah Mohammed Ali Obeid

£12.100 Stelios

£12.650 Selim Atas

£15.400 Pablo Gonzalez

No time for more. I've based it all on the two screenshots. If the 0 quid earners get a footie job this half of the season, I'll add them later.

Walcott: good work so far! I like the "total ability" summaries. That means we won't get more detailed info on the abilities themselves? Cool icon_smile.gif

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Looks like we deserved at least a draw from the Pakistan friendly. icon_frown.gif

Ah well. On the bright side, Ulfinus (and many others) got their debut out of the way. Things can only go up from here.

With everyone getting time to train a bit (especially some physical training seems very welcome), the March friendly should be better.

(Good updates. I like the Player Cam idea. icon14.gif )

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Cheers for the finance info TeeWee, it appears Samaras Taraldo has taken the inital lead in the wages chart.

I don't place to release any more 'hidden' attributes than the ones already released. It will just be annual screenshots of you current ability and world reputation.

I know everyone's potential ability (there are variations as I set them all to -10) but I'm not going to release any info on that as I don't see the need and some of you may never reach your potential.

More player cam reports to follow soonish...

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Week ending Sun 17th Sept 2006

Koppers is out for 2-3 weeks with a groin strain.

Lui is out for a month with a back strain.

Davo will be out for 2-3 weeks at West Ham with a damaged foot.

Maldinov made his debut in goal for Albinoleffe.

The majority of you are playing regularly for you teams U18/19s team. Hopefully a few of you may pick up tutors sooner or later. icon14.gif

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...Why is every scout in the world blind? Any other would have spotted my superb skill immediately...

Looks like George Robson will have to go out and ask the clubs themselves if he can play for them. Or maybe he just needs to play a few stunning international matches with Kyrgyzstan

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Player Cam Match Report

Mon 18th Sept: Belenenses v P.Ferreira - league match

Bill again starts on the substitute bench (squad number 33 btw).

Hugo Leal gives Belenenses the lead after 17 minutes, his first goal for the club. He then scores his second with an audacious 45 yard lob after the keeper had miskicked his clearance. Inbetween the 2 goals, P.Ferreira go down to 10 men after one of their players kicks out.

HT: Belenenses 2 v 0 P.Ferreira

However, with the 2nd sub coming on for Belnenses at half-time, Bill may not get a game.

P.Ferreira score 30 seconds after the restart, but within 10 seconds of the next restart they go down to 9 men due to a late tackle!

With only 9 men P.Ferreira struggle and concede 2 goals, before getting a second goal from the penalty spot, with the Belenenses player being shown the red card for being the last man.

FT: Belenenses 4 v 2 P.Ferreira

Unfortunately Bill was an unused sub today and normally I won't write a match report in this scenario, but the game had so much going on I thought I would write a couple of lines on it.

Hopefully Bill will play in their next match, against Porto

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<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Walcott's Wonderkids:

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by LibLibertine:

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Walcott's Wonderkids:

12/16 Turkmenistan players have been called up - De Santiago, Koppers, Libertinho and Tomaldinho missing out. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Thats fine with me. Want a club badly. Any idea what clubs I could possibly be assigned to?

Would like to become a star player at whatever club I start with icon_wink.gif hint hint. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Haha, well my idea was because I have 18 countries with playable leagues up and running I would click the randomise button on the new manager screen to select each of the four of you a team.

There are a couple of limits to that though: as you haven't been signed I wouldn't assign you to a team in the English, Spanish or Italian top league (to make it fair on the guys who have already been signed to far flung destinations) and I wouldn't let you join a team that someone else is already at - just to add a bit more variety.

If thats ok with any of the four of you then I will do that at the end of Sept? </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Sounds like a good idea to me icon14.gif

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Player Cam Match Report

Sat 23rd Sept 2006: Porto v Belenenses - league match

Bill is again on the subs bench, hopefully he can be the supersub in this game.

Belenenses go down to 10 men on the half hour mark when one of their defenders is shown a 2nd yellow and 2 minutes later Porto score.

HT: Porto 1 v 0 Belenenses

But what is this I see, Bill is warming up on the touchline and is coming on for the start of the second half icon14.gif

Bill Intro

Unfortunately being down to 10 men meant Porto played keep-ball in the second half and despite going to play up top in a 3 man attack, Belenenses offered little attacking threat.

FT: Porto 1 v 0 Belenenses

Belenenses Stats

A 7 for Bill so his performance wasn't too bad. That's the last game of player cam for Bill, who will it be next month???!!!! (Ooooh the tension, the anticipation and ultimately the anticlimax)

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Week Ending Sun 24th Sept 2006

Stelios has made his debut for Middlesbrough, coming on as sub in the 1-0 2nd round Carling Cup win over Birmingham.

Sam Taphouse made his debut as a sub for Man City, this time in the Premiership against Liverpool. (Lost 3-1)

Alan made his debut for Sevilla, coming on as sub in their 2-1 win against Espanyol in La Liga.

I forgot in the last weekly update to mention the World Ranking changes after the friendly results:

Kyrgyzstan rose 1 place to 118th.

Turkmenistan dropped 3 places to 161st.

They will of course rise easily once the teams start playing internationals regularly.

Thats it for tonight folks, if your player still hasn't been signed (the 4 of you), don't worry - I have an inkling the footballing gods will be shining down on you tomorrow. icon_wink.gif

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So, when do we get our first installment payments?????, LOL. Do you need us to send you our mailing addresses?

And what is a pound worth in America now-a-days?

Didnt even get to play in our first match. Maybe next time.

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highest current ability icon14.gif

lowest paid and in new zealand icon13.gif

hopefully an a-league team or better spots me soon. i dont suppose its possible to follow new zealand matches which rules me out of player cam

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<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Fleece:

highest current ability icon14.gif

lowest paid and in new zealand icon13.gif

hopefully an a-league team or better spots me soon. i dont suppose its possible to follow new zealand matches which rules me out of player cam </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Yeah, at the moment I can't see New Zealand domestic games - but I hope there is transfer moves in the summer for those of you based in non-european destintations or in tiny clubs in Europe.

As there are 32 players, it will take a while to get through player cam for each of you - so I will focus on those players playing regularly in playable leagues at first to give the rest of you time to move to better clubs or start playing for the first team.

To answer the question posed by elf_30, £1 is roughly $2 at the moment.

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Week ending 1st October

Potential signings - the powers that be have decided that is was time to intervene and find a club for the unlucky 4. Therefore using the random club generator and rules I stated in an earlier post the players have been offered a contract by:

Libertinho - Maritimo in the Portuguese Premier Division

Jacariah Birkinaldo - Tranmere in the English League One

George Robson - Vicenza of Serie B

El Loco Bartinho - who initially reject an offer from Mohun Bagan from India icon_rolleyes.gif has now been offered a contract with Manisaspor of the Turkish Premier League.

Other News:

Rubin failed to qualify for the UEFA Cup group stages, but FC Twente managed to scrap through (although Koppers wasn't playing).

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Week ending Sun 8th October 2006

El Loco Bartinho was the first of the unlucky four to sign for their interested club, joining Manisaspor of the Turkish Premier League.

Jacariah Birkinaldo signed for Tranmere and the fans were delighted at the prospect of signing Birkinaldo.

George Robson signs for Vicenza for Serie B.

Libertinho has also received an offer from Swedish club IF Brommapojkarna, 2 days after receiving an offer from Maritimo. As Libertinho is half Swedish, he decided to turn down the offer of a contract with bigger side Maritimo and signs for IF Brommapojkarna.

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Week Ending Sun 15th October

We have our first player to be tutored:

Salman Al-Dahash is currently being tutored by Rufete at Espanyol.

Cheltenham Town have again made a loan offer for West Ham's Ali Obeid, which has been accepted.

This month's player cam is reduced in nature due to the internationals in the first half of the month. Selected player - Zuvzonamin Lui, GK at Qingdao.

Player Cam Match Report

Sun 15th Oct 2006: Liaoning v Qingdao - league match

Lui had only just recovered from injury and started on the bench.

Qingdao went down to 10 men after 13 minutes and 2 minutes later fell behind.

HT: Liaoning 1 v 0 Qingdao

No appearance for Lui, but hopefully next week his fitness will be at normal levels and will be selected.

Final update for now, should be able to get some updates in this evening icon14.gif

Despite being down to 10 men, Qingdao got an equaliser with 7 minutes to go.

FT: Liaoning 1 v Qingdao

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<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Walcott's Wonderkids:

Week Ending Sun 15th October

We have our first player to be tutored:

Salman Al-Dahash is currently being tutored by Rufete at Espanyol.

Cheltenham Town have again made a loan offer for West Ham's Ali Obeid, which has been accepted.

This month's player cam is reduced in nature due to the internationals in the first half of the month. Selected player - Zuvzonamin Lui, GK at Qingdao.

Player Cam Match Report

Sun 15th Oct 2006: Liaoning v Qingdao - league match

Lui had only just recovered from injury and started on the bench.

Qingdao went down to 10 men after 13 minutes and 2 minutes later fell behind.

HT: Liaoning 1 v 0 Qingdao

Despite being down to 10 men, Qingdao got an equaliser with 7 minutes to go.

FT: Liaoning 1 v Qingdao

No appearance for Lui, but hopefully next week his fitness will be at normal levels and will be selected.

Final update for now, should be able to get some updates in this evening icon14.gif

</div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Better icon14.gif

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<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Koppers is out for 2-3 weeks with a groin strain. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

icon_mad.gif

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<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">El Loco Bartinho was the first of the unlucky four to sign for their interested club, joining Manisaspor of the Turkish Premier League. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

quiet a good team too. especially in fm07

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<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Walcott's Wonderkids:

Libertinho has also received an offer from Swedish club IF Brommapojkarna, 2 days after receiving an offer from Maritimo. As Libertinho is half Swedish, he decided to turn down the offer of a contract with bigger side Maritimo and signs for IF Brommapojkarna. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

That shows my loyalty (I think). Picking a smaller club that plays in the country my mother was born.

Plus I feel more wanted as it's a club that wasn't "artificially" interested in me. They actually have plans to use me etc.

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Week ending Sun 22nd October 2006

Alvaro De Santiago is now being tutored at Sevilla by Andres Palop.

Libertinho has made his debut for IF Brommapojkarna, losing 2-1 at home to Malmo FF.

Birkinaldo received a rating of 8 on his debut for Tranmere in a 2-2 draw against Notts Forest.

Ali Obeid has joined Cheltenham (League One) on loan for 3 months.

Alan had his first start for Sevilla (2nd appearance overall) in the 1-0 win in the UEFA group stage over Hertha BSC. Alan set up the winning goal.

El Loco Bartinho is out for 2-4 weeks with a damaged foot.

October World Rankings Update

With no games for either team, both teams stay where they were: Kyrgyzstan in 118th, Turkmenistan in 161st.

Player Cam Match Report

Sun 22nd Oct: Qingdao v Hunan - league match (last weekend of the Chinese season)

Lui starts the match in goal, Qingdao playing a 4-4-2 formation.

Hunan had the early advantage, forcing Lui to make a couple of nice smothering blocks.

On the half hour, it had been coming, Hunan race up the field via a long ball and one on one with the keeper, their striker calmly side-foots it home.

Qingdao equalise after 35 minutes with a penalty, their first shot on goal.

Despite being dominated, Qingdao go into the break on level terms

HT: Qingdao 1 v 1 Hunan

Half Time Info

52nd minute and another long ball over the top and Hunan's striker gives Lui no chance of stopping it. 1-2

Not much else happened, except Lui going up for a corner in injury time, but the ball went nowhere near him unfortunately.

FT: Qingdao 1 v 2 Hunan

Full Time Player Stats

A six rating is maybe a tad harsh on Lui, who was sold short by his defenders for both goals.

As that was the end of the Chinese season, here is the final league table:

China Premier League 2006

I will post league tables on Jan 1st for leagues running over the winter months as that is about the halfway point. Sweden and Russian tables will be put up when the season ends, which is fairly soon.

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Week ending 29th October 2006

Fellow West Ham player Davo has decided to follow Ali Obeid on loan to Cheltenham for 3 months.

Atas and Koppers are both out with the flu for a week.

As the Russian league is coming to a close, I felt it would be appropriate to do player cam for November on one of the players based there, so Samaras Taraldo of Rubin will tracked in November.

The Swedish league finishes 30th Oct, so next weeks update will show the final league table there.

Will Libertinho's 3 appearances for them have changed their season?!

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<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Atas and Koppers are both out with the flu for a week. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

And now the flu!!

Must have very bad health.

I blame the hard childhood in northern Turkmenistan where I had to run barefoot in the streets in the winter.

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Player Cam Match Report

Sat 4th Nov 2006: Rubin (5th) v (16th and last) Krylja Sovetov - league match

Despite starting the last 2 games, Taraldo is on the bench at the start.

A fairly dull first half is brought to life on 40 minutes when Sovetov's defender hacks down Rubin's striker in the area. Result - red card, penalty, 1-0.

HT: Rubin 1 v 0 Sovetov

Despite looking dodgy when being counterattacked with a shaky back line, Rubin's manager decides to uses his 3 subs at the 70 minute mark to go from a 4-4-2 to a 4-2-4. The result, in the 80th minute Sovetov equalise.

FT: Rubin 1 v 1 Krylja Sovetov

Taraldo looks mightly depressed on the subs bench as the full time whistle goes, he should have been brought on to shore up the back line. As a result, Rubin's chances of Europe next season now look to be solely linked to their Russian Cup games.

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<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by NeoAC:

Toronto Supra...........

Someone get me outta here........ </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Your playing regularly and classed as 'indepensible to the club', but yeah you could do with a move. Around the time most seasons end you should pick up some interest hopefully.

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Week ending 5th November 2006

Alan has become the 3rd player to be tutored, he is getting tips off Freddie Kanoute apparently.

Swedish Final League Table

Unfortunately, Libertinho could do little in the 3 games he played, to prevent the massacre of IF Brommapojkarna in the Swedish league, as they were relegated with just 9 points from 26 games, 13 points below the next placed team.

Libertinho could be on the scout for another club soon then.

Next weekly update will include the stats screenshots for both squads, as it is about half way between Sept 1st and Feb 1st.

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