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CSE Enrichment April - Pride of the Nation

weeeman27bob

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weeeman27bob

weeeman27bob

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Pride of the Nation: I like...pause...Not! - Part 2

" Well played lads. We went out there and showed them why we are a footballing nation. We scored three goals of the highest quality and they didn't have a sniff of goal. Keep it up in the second half, and try and get some more names on the team sheet."

England continued to play the way they'd finished the second half. Some good play by Robert and Tom Smith gave Swafe a chance to shoot. His shot curled wide, and despite Weeman's best efforts, he couldn't get to the ball before it crossed the line.

The first real chance of the second half came when Robert received the ball on the edge of the box from Roberto. He turned and tried to chip the keeper. The keeper back pedaled and pushed the ball back out. With the ball at his feet again, Robert tried something different and tried to curl the ball in but his shot went wide.

The clock showed fifty eight minutes when Whoopy D's throw found Robert. Robert played the ball back towards Canvey, who played it on towards Swafe but he couldn't tuck his shot home.

A rare Kazakhstan chance spelled disaster as poor defending by Super Lampard left Musin onside and he slide the ball past Pluckaduck in goal. With a natural stopage in play, Dafuge chose to make some subs. Wisla Krakow came on for Weeman, Corinthiano replaced Swafe and Super Lampard made way for Rancer at the back.

Mikey Twigge, the now captain, showed the team how he expected to go about things soon after he picked up the armband. After making space for himself he curled a shot towards the top corner which was pushed over by a diving keeper. Some heavy pressure from England was unlucky not to be rewarded with a goal.

There was little over 10 minutes remaining when Whoopy D found Robert with a throw down the right. He ran on and received a return ball before sending in a short cross towards Tom Smith. The powerful striker knocked the ball down to Corinthiano who placed the ball into the net, restoring England's lead.

It was the final chance of the game, and Dafuge led a happy team back to the dressing room.

" Great performance today lads. We scored goals, and showed good spirt to score one after conceding. If we can play like this for the rest of the games, I don't doubt that we'll win."

Final Score: England 4 - 1 Kazakhstan

Roberto

Robert

Tom Smith

Corinthiano

Man of the Match: Roberto

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weeeman27bob

weeeman27bob

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Pride of the Nation: I like...pause...not - Part 3

Unfortunately for himself, Dafuge had a little too much to drink before going to meet the press. As he walked to the media room he had to stop and steady himself against the walls a couple of times to cancel out the swaying of the corridor.

As he entered the room, the sea of flashes caught him unawares and he stumbled a little before finally standing up behind the podium ready to receive questions

" Are you pleased with the win?" asked one Journalist.

" Of course I'm bloody pleased" slured Dafuge. " We won didn't we. And winning is all that matters. I'd sell my sister if it secured me a win."

" So you thought your opponents were good then?"

" Only if you mean long named commies, by good" raged the angry Dafuge. " Have you ever tried telling your players who to mark when the oppositions shortest named player is Vikhlyanov. It's a bloody nightmare."

" Ukraine won to give them three wins out of three so far. Are you confident you can beat them in the race to top the group?"

" You think we might be beaten by them! You obviously don't know football mate because we're at least twice as good as the. I'll eat my suit if they beat us."

" How do you feel the players are playing?"

" They've been good, but I don't feel we've it all yet. But what can you expect from a bunch of sissy boys who like their hair to much."

And with that, Dafuge left.

Disclamer: The views represented here are not the accurate views of the Author or of Dafuge himself.... I don't think :D

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Whoopy D

Whoopy D

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Whoopy D took a throw in on the right hand side..
The clock showed fifty eight minutes when Whoopy D's throw found Robert.

There was little over 10 minutes remaining when Whoopy D found Robert with a throw down the right.

Three throw ins get mentioned in one match report :cool: If nothing else at least I take a good throw in :D

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weeeman27bob

weeeman27bob

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Pride of the Nation: You can't have your Minsk Coat unless you earn it - Part 1

England's next match was against Belarus, in the city of Minsk. Despite being relative minnows, the Belarussians had played well against Andorra beating them by two goals to none. They'd even sneaked a plucky goal against the Ukrainians. Despite this Dafuge wasn't too bothered. He felt he would defeat them and show them who were the real footballers.

There were a few changes from the last game. Hamilton replaced Rancer on the subs bench, Blowcrappup came in in goal, and Corinthiano took Weeman's place. Finally, El Sid took Wisla Krakow's place on the bench.

" I'd tell you to do it for the fans" said Dafuge. " But that isn't why you play football is it. No, you're all money lovers. So instead, if you don't win this game, i'll ban all shopping trips for the next away games.

Robert and Corinthiano gulped. They couldn't live without their regular shopping trips. What would they do if they couldn't buy any more clothes!

The game took almost twenty five dull minutes before the first chance. A throw in from the right sides got passed across to the left. Corinthiano's deep cross found Canvey, but his volley was blocked out for another throw in.

A few minutes later Swafe won a promising free kick outside the box. Canvey stepped up to take it, but his shot was poor curling the wrong way round the wall and was high and wide of the goal as it eventually crossed the line. Just a couple of minutes later, Canvey stepped up to take another free kick from a similar position to try and redeem himself. But he couldn't. This time the free kick was even worse and there were ironic cheers from the Belarus fans.

Finally Canvey did something of use. He tried a a hard chip from a tight angle which was on target, but the keeper pushed it out for a corner. His corner was back to his old ways though as it missed everyone in the box.

Dafuge was severely disappointed with what the team had achieved in the poor first half.

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weeeman27bob

weeeman27bob

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Pride of the Nation: You can't have your Minsk coat unless you earn it - Part 2

" I don't know who told you we were playing in a competition to be the most boring team today. But we aren't. If you don't score in the second half, I'm going to drop bloody all of you because you haven't turned up so far. You better improve in the second half.

Dafuge hoped that his aggressive team talk would make the team pull something out of the bag. It certainly did. There had been just 38 seconds in the second half when Corinthiano's found Dodgee D near the byline. The full back crossed into a mass of bodies. Rising high above the rest was Swafe who headed downwards into the net to score a well worked goal. A corner from Canvey moments later was nearly headed in by Super Lampard.

As the game approached the hour mark, Robert received a ball from Mikey Twigge on the edge of the centre circle. The full back came to close him down giving space for Corinthiano to run. Robert slipped the pass in to the space. Corinthiano took the ball into the box, wrong footed the defender before slotting a shot in at the near post in a fantastic piece of skill. The two goal advantage let Dafuge relax on the bench. Corinthiano wasn't satisfied though, and nearly had a second just minutes later when he broke into the box yet again, but his shot was parried by the keeper and then cleared.

He wasn't done there though. A throw in by Whoopy D found Swafe who laid it off to Corinthiano on the edge of the D. He ran the ball back the way it came taking it past five defenders before firing a shot in at the near post to double his tally. With that complete he ran over to Dafuge where he mimed buying a Mink Coat.

With the game effectively over, Dafuge made some subs. The youthful Robert Langman came on for Tom Smith upfront and Hamilton replaced Roberto in defence.

It was really " that bloke's" game, as moments later Corinthiano had a chance for a hattrick. His shot from a tricky wide position took a good save from the keeper to stop a goal. Soon after El Sid replaced Swafe in midfield. Unfortunately for Corinthiano, there was no chance to complete his hattrick before the end of the game.

" Wow. That was something else" said Dafuge. " You really pulled it out of the bag in the second half. I expect to see that all game next time though."

Belarus 0 - 3 England

Swafe

Corinthiano x2

Man of the Match: Corinthiano

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Whoopy D

Whoopy D

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A throw in by Whoopy D found Swafe who laid it off to Corinthiano on the edge of the D. He ran the ball back the way it came taking it past five defenders before firing a shot in at the near post to double his tally.

It was all about the throw in though ;) I'm like Rory Delap but better :cool::D

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weeeman27bob

weeeman27bob

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Pride of the Nation: You can't have your Minsk coat unless you earn it - Part 3

As per usual, after the game Dafuge had to attend the mandatory press conference.

" How did you feel the players played today?"

" Well let's be frank. We were crap in the first half. Actually we were craper than crap. But we weren't the crapest on the pitch."

" What about in the second half?"

" Ah, well, that was something different. I can't remember the last time I saw a team play that well. Well possibly with a virtual team, but not in real life. Ah Danny Roberts though. Now there was a player. If any of my players were half as good as he was, we'd be the best team in the world."

" What did you think of Corinthiano today?"

" Well, he was pretty good. In fact he was outstanding by far the best player on the pitch. Don't talk to him about it though. The lad's sad he didn't get his hattrick. You'll only upset him more."

" Will there be changes for the friendly against Germany?"

" Yes. Lots of them. I want to see what the other players can do, so expect a large number of changes. And a couple of younger players should make their way into the team."

" What are you having for tea?"

" Well I'll probably eat in tonight. A nice piece of fish and some 'tatoes "

" We've heard rumors of you not liking the players shopping trips. What have you got to say about this?"

" At the end of the day, it isn't ideal. I'd rather the players concentrated on the matches then the new John Rocha collection. But if you give a poodle a biscuit it isn't going to pay attention to the bone. Thankfully though we have some real dogs in the kennels."

And with that bamboozling remark, he left.

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DodgeeD

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Crossed into a mass of bodies?!? I'll have you know that was a pinpoint piece of crossing. And it set up the rest of the second alf performance too. Can't have Corinthiano and Robert missing out the sales now, can we? ;)

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