[FM23] Nessie Awakes!

[phnompenhandy]

This is prior notice of an unusual challenge to be commenced as soon as a Scottish Lower League file created by Mozza is available hopefully a week from today.

 

It's Loch Ness FC in the North Caledonian League (Scotland tier 6). I've been obsessed with the club since they began releasing the most mind-blowing kits in world football. I'm also a Scot exiled half a world away so managing the team will help me keep close to my roots.

As a LlaMa of two decades, a couple of years ago I did a bit of a boo-boo when I contacted via Twitter a village team I was managing and posted a screenshot of my success in getting them promoted. I failed to appreciate that, playing as 99.9% of FMers play, I'd replaced 80% of the squad with upgrades. It didn't go down well. This new career will be very different. I'm scouring the internet (transfermarkt, club Twitter and Facebook media) to find the details of all the real players, with their photos, to use the pre-game editor to make the team as realistic as I can (including CA and PA values). After all that work, I'm not going to bin them off in the pre-season! No, I'm setting out the following rules for my save:

Me - Ex-Sunday League plodder with no qualifications at all.

No transfers in, no loans, no frees - ever! The only new players added to the squad can be from my academy intake (and yes, with the quality of staff and facilities I'm dealt!)

If players decide to leave, they can't be replaced until the intake arrives. Any contract negotiations will be dealt with the DoF (or more likely, Chairman as I probably won't have a DoF).

Nearly all Journeyman saves, Head Coach saves or other lower league saves I come across aim in due course to conquer the world, racking up trophies - not me. The only plan is to bumble about like an amateur, hoping not to get sacked whilst doing my best to bring some kind of success to the club while enjoying the ride.

 

See you in a couple of weeks!

 

 

 

Edited November 13, 2022 by phnompenhandy
updated club screen screenshot to show real ground

[Jimbokav1971]

Liking the look of this Andy, (and the kits). 

There is nothing quite so relaxing and enjoyable as a Youth Only save in the lower lower leagues where you're properly invested in the team and just along for the ride. 

[Bayern Bru]

That kit....

Looking forward to this one!

[phnompenhandy]

2 minutes ago, Jimbokav1971 said:

Liking the look of this Andy, (and the kits). 

There is nothing quite so relaxing and enjoyable as a Youth Only save in the lower lower leagues where you're properly invested in the team and just along for the ride. 

Relaxing, aye. See this: Seeking accommodation, I foolishly committed to a contract over the internet without seeing the place for myself. Here is my new home:

 

Alas, I hadn’t noticed the photo is 9 years old – I leave the extent of its dilapidation to your imagination. To compensate for the state of the place, in the rare moments the rain lets off and the sun breaks through, this is my view:

 

[That's genuine - I've seen them myself. You can't be anything but relaxed and refreshed! ]

By the way, about the shirts - thousands of them are sold globally, bringing a fair wedge of income into the club's merchandise department, outselling plenty of Premier League clubs. Pity my self-imposed rules don't allow me to spend it, although maybe in time the income will help improve facilities.

[phnompenhandy]

I've dove into the editor and added what I believe to be the current squad - there's 31 in all, with a scarily high average age. I can see a fair few will retire by the end of the first season and with only 3 Under-21s on the book, the academy intake will need to hit the ground running. One or two may have since left or joined, but it's close enough for now. In real life, the manager Shane Carling founded the club and is the chairman. I want to move him "upstairs" and give him the dual role of Chairman and Director of Football, but the editor doesn't allow it, so he'll loom over me as DoF and some figurehead will be nominal chair. While I'm waiting a few days for Mozza's Scottish lower league file as well as Davethingie's greater realism files (including realistic weather - can't be playing in the sunshine in the dreich Highlands!) I've temporarily moved the club into Scottish League Two where we should be mullered. I'll give me a chance to work out my better players and optimal tactics. It's not the real save though - I'll start that when everything is set up.

 

Edited November 8, 2022 by phnompenhandy

[Punch]

I’ve had the same idea for this club if I ever leave FM21.

Good luck with this one.

[phnompenhandy]

Seriously, I was not expecting this - -we are a Care Home for Old Warhorses. With the emphasis on 'war' - all our attributes are the weakest in League Two except for Leadership and Aggression.

 

[phnompenhandy]

 

Um, I wasn't expecting that! Have you ever seen such a demonstration of failure?

I threw myself into my new job from day one, holding long and intensive meetings with Shane, Rab and the old staff to gather a deep knowledge of the players. That’s narrative-speak for what I’ve actually been doing while waiting for the lower league file to drop. I used the editor to stick Loch Ness in SPFL2 – a full two leagues higher, and trialled my team. You can see the outcome. But these failures did give me an opportunity to try and reject a range of formations, tactics, combinations, giving some data to take into my real save, soon to commence.

Initially I went too attacking and we were far too open at the back. I gradually found what should have been a more solid structure by setting out more cautiously with a low block. We’d let the opposition have the ball a safe distance away but close ranks and press like hell when they’d come into the danger zone. It worked better than attacking, but it did rather rely on defenders not constantly giving up howlers. I think you can see the problem here. Soon the lads gave up and just wanted out. The board and fans were more patient than the players, but as you can see, eventually I got a wee visit from Santa with his Christmas sack.

We shouldn’t have been able to cope with League Two and tier 5 opponents anyway. I’m quite familiar with the Highland League – the teams around the top can easily compete at a higher level (the first team to get promoted, Cove Rangers, surged straight up to the Championship). Most of my aged squad have come via Highland League sides when they were deemed too old for that level – mostly from the modest sides in the lower reaches of the table. I still think we should compete well enough in the North Caley in the first season; however, it’s occurring to me that even if our results are fine, at the end of the first season, and certainly by the end of the second, the bulk of my squad will have retired and we’ll be reliant on 15 year olds with CA in single digits. I’ll run a holiday save and see how things go; if necessary, I could drop the club 2 or 3 tiers to see if the kids can survive at a more modest level before returning (?) to their rightful level.

 

[Whalix]

Really looking forward to following your save - any idea when the lower league file drops?

[phnompenhandy]

4 minutes ago, Whalix said:

Really looking forward to following your save - any idea when the lower league file drops?

Cheers, mate. Mozza's eta is tomorrow, but I'll need a day or two to holiday the file as it'll be a beta, and they maybe wait longer if he flags up any problems (or i find them). Plus, this:

Call that last post a fever dream – albeit one with fair warnings about tactical mishaps.

A major part of the problem is that given their ages, the squad is very slow to get fit; however, they’re rather quick to lose morale. The secret I hit on was to schedule midweek friendlies against local amateur sides to enable them to learn my tactics quicker and keep their spirits up.

Defence definitely needed a lot of protection – I went with 3 CBs and 2 DMs, with the wide players still needing to be able to drop back. I put 2 of my best attacking players on those flanks for that purpose. Results, taking the quality of opposition into account, did improve a bit although we remained by far the worst in the league in defending and passing – somewhat fundamental footballing skills, I’m sure you’d agree.

So here's my next trial run:

 

 

An improvement of sorts, but my job is still on the line. But Whilst I'm still getting mullered by teams 2 tiers above my level, I do have a good record in the friendlies against non-league opposition.

[phnompenhandy]

I made it to the END of the season this time. Board even gave me a new contract. But then I finished last, got beat in the relegation play-off and sank into an unplayable league. Fired 

 

But NEXT time - I will do better!!!

[phnompenhandy]

Here's a big long essay to fill in the background of this save before we dive in.

 

Call the above a fever dream – albeit one with fair warnings about tactical mishaps. I am VERY apprehensive about what I’m getting into, for reasons explained below.

 

And so to begin. I’m Andy McNessie. I was born in Dunvegan, Isle of Skye, but I guess nominative determinism drew me to this club and no doubt was instrumental in Shane calling me up for interview.

A little background on Loch Ness FC: the club was formed in 1999 by Shane Carling, and for 20 years played as members of the welfare/amateur recreational leagues of Inverness & District. The club formed a senior team in 2020, and were accepted as members of the North Caledonian Football Association, joining a temporary second tier of the association, known as the Ness Cup League. In 2021-22 they joined the re-combined North Caledonian League from North Caley League Two, with Shane managing the team where they were pipped to the league title by Invergordon, ultimately finishing 2nd. The club doesn't currently have its own ground; it used to play in Inverness (on the River Ness, if not quite the loch) and is currently based in Fortrose, 14 miles up the road on the Moray Firth.

The reason Shane appointed me is to change the club’s DNA from being a stud farm for old warhorses to being a nationally famous producer of talented youngsters. Shane feels he doesn’t have it in him, being too close to the regional fraternity of old boys and wants someone with no such baggage to be responsible for a radical overhaul. It’s a project that won’t be completed in my lifetime given our only income is from our merchandise (Shane calls it his 30-year plan), but I can at least set down some roots. His vision is based upon the global sales of our merchansdise, mainly in the guise of 6000 annual shirt sales. His intention is that the c.£120,000 it brings in annually will go towards funding improvements in our facilities to encourage improvements in youth recruitment and coaching. The interest was initially boosted by coverage on BBC Breakfast TV and MoTD although those are distant memories now and privately I don’t see how such sales can be maintained in the long term but I dare not ask where additional funding will come from.

Shane’s a club icon of course; he’s decided to move ‘upstairs’ – by which he means he’s bought a new director’s desk to go with his chairman’s chair. I’m at his old desk a penalty kick across the room, where he can keep an eye on me and watch me squirm though meetings and that. I mean, I really appreciate he’s on hand to give me advice, but I can’t help feeling he might decide to get back into management the moment things get a wee bit challenging. For now, with the scale of the club, he’s officially club chairman, technical director and director of football. He is Mr. Loch Ness FC.

 

Squad and staff – we’ll not have a scout to save on salary. For assessing the next opposition I rely on YouTubes and my players’ and staff’s extensive knowledge. I’ve attracted two female physios (one of whom is a part-time marine biologist and amateur dolphin-watcher). I’ve inherited a goalkeeper/coach from the senior players, Michael Miele. We don’t need a goalkeeper coach – he can’t train himself and his backup is 42, but he does it for free, so I just let him get on with it.  Miele himself is a veritable FM LLaMa legend – the always desired but rarely seen icon – a fat goalie. ‘Who ate all the pies, Michael?’ Bet he’s never heard that before! 

Our assistant Rab Mulheron is 68 and has been involved with half the clubs in the Highlands in his time – an invaluable asset in the short term, but an example of what needs to be swept away with my new broom in due course.

One returnee is Highland legend Ross Tokely. I’m proud to have been there when he made his debut for Inverness Caledonian Thistle as a raw 17-year-old back in 1996. In recent years after an illustrious Premier League and SFL career, he dropped into non-league, being a bit of a nomad around the Highlands, playing and even managing teams (very successfully, ominously). He played here last year and the club must have left a good impression on him because he’s returned to us, determined to settle down in a non-playing coaching role. The kids are in awe when he visits Fortrose Academy and can’t get enough of his yarn about playing in the “SuperCaleyGoBallisticCelticAreAtrocious” game.

About 60% of the squad is in their 30s; the club has acquired the DNA of being a care home for old warhorses. Most of them have been captains at previous clubs, and some coaches and even managers. You’d think the experience they bring would be invaluable, but with few youngsters to mentor (this year at least), I foresee too many generals are not enough privates on parade, and I can’t see how I’m going to earn their respect in the locker room, or in my/our office where they’ve been mates with Shane and Rab for donkey’s years.

I’m dreading the time when it comes to releasing players and staff. Shane is 100% in charge of all recruitment and contracts (except for deciding with academy youths not to retain). He not going to want to hurt his pals is he – he’s going to put the blame on me! Already, in team talks I feel like a supply teacher – my rousing speeches are wholly ignored and rare reactions seem to coincide with my peripheral vision detecting Shane loitering by the door and giving a wink.

 

I’m concerned about my pre-season preparations, despite my vivid dreams giving me insights. Most of the lads live in Inverness and aren’t free to play (or at least fill the bench) for 3 friendly games on top of training twice a week, and I don’t have access to the technology I’d like – it’s just me and my laptop in my hut through the many dark and stormy nights. So I’ll arrange 3 or 4 friendlies in the short month before the league and cup season commences, and organise team bonding evenings (although the lads get on brilliantly with each other and the old gaffer – it’s me who’s the stranger) and rounds of golf on our rather illustrious local golf course. Once the season kicks off and school holidays are over, community outreach will include visits to Fortrose Academy to whip up interest amongst the pupils, especially the senior lads. Ironically the girls’ teams are somewhat more successful than the boys’.

A major part of the problem is that given their ages, the squad is very slow to get fit; however, they’re rather quick to lose morale. The secret I hit on in my dreams is to schedule midweek friendlies during the early part of the season against local amateur sides to enable them to learn my tactics quicker and keep their spirits up. I also have to be mindful of keeping tactics and instructions reasonably simple. The training regime must be minimalist – there’s no time to teach the lads fancy-dan regimes; we’ll go with a basic drill the lads and coaches can fully grasp. Given the facilities, I have no illusions training will improve players’ skills – the only way players can improve is by playing competitive football regularly. That includes the youngest players and any academy kids that rock up later. So, in the long term, we need to keep a smallish squad with maybe a couple of old warhorses on the books to mentor the youngsters and serve as emergency backups.

The first thing I did on meeting the lads, after the regulation pep talk, was to assess the squad to decide on the formation and tactic we’ll go forward with. I’ve been doing my homework, and in conjunction with Shane. Ross and Rab, I’ve amassed a fair bit of knowledge about the league. I’m looking at where our strengths and weaknesses lie, and I’m in conversation with Muir about the schoolboys coming through and how he coaches them. I think we really need 2 or 3 seasons to consolidate in this league so that the pensioners can ease away, and academy kids establish themselves. So, all that factors in my thinking. It may be that our tactics are not optimal for the current squad, but will be for next season. So long as we survive (although privately I’m thinking a relegation would be good for us in the long term), we can afford to think of the future.

The annual academy intake is vital to this campaign, and I’ve established strong links with what is actually Fortrose Academy PE department. Our Head of Youth Development’s real job is Head of Health Faculty and Sports teacher, Muir Morton. He has to be fair to his charges – boys that show real talent head off, like promising youngsters from all over the region, for trials at Inverness Caledonian Thistle or Ross County. The unsuccessful ones head back home to their local non-league sides. That’s just how it is – we can’t challenge the pecking order, so we can expect new arrivals in future to be low on ambition, professionalism and skill.

As a consequence, my assumption is this is not a career that will culminate in conquering Scotland, Europe, the World. We will stay humble and close to our roots as a community club (albeit not necessarily always in Fortrose – I’d love an eventual move to a town or village on Loch Ness such as Fort Augustus, Foyers or ideally Drumnadrochit). Thus, each post will be a detailed, loving insight into the club’s fortunes, taking its time rather than bombing through the seasons.

 

 Pictures of the Big Man, the AssMan, the Fat Goalie, the PE teacher and the medical department

 

 

Edited November 11, 2022 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

To add to the immersion, I've now got player pics for everyone (bar one chap who doesn't have a single photo online, but I compensated for him):

 

[phnompenhandy]

We are live!

Some housekeeping first. I am using Mozza's Full Scottish Pyramid file which goes down to Tier 10. The only other league I'm running is the English Premier League. The reason is my computer is over ten years old and it gets sluggish and often crashes if I load up too much. I also think, given I expect to poddle around the lower levels for a long time, that the international club scene is pretty irrelevant to this save. I can always add leagues as I delete the lower Scottish ones later if needs be. I've set a small custom database with all Scottish players and players in Scotland in the game. I added players to all teams. Talking of which, i was amazed to see that the  Loch Ness file I created with all the staff and players actually works with Mozza's file, so what I showed you above is in the full save.

[phnompenhandy]

My first meeting with Shane Carling, the Founder/Chairman/Director of Football/Technical Director went very strangely.  Firstly, the salary he confirmed was considerably higher than I thought we'd agreed! Secondly, we met to discuss the club's long-term vision, which in all clubs is a formality as it's been covered in the job interview very thoroughly, and this meeting is supposed to be a rubber-stamp exercise. But Shane sprung on me his intention that, despite what we'd discussed, I was to bring in players under 25 for the first few seasons before focussing on the academy lads. That wasn't what I'd agreed at all, and I told him. To be honest, in my heart I knew he was right - we ought to move more slowly; evolution not revolution and I was ready to concede the argument. Instead, Shane backed off and agreed to remove it from the club vision - and added the completely unrealistic dream of developing a top youth system. As a way of saving face, I guess, he changed his mind about the two cups - suddenly they were important and we had to compete properly. Yet when I came back to sign the document, those stipulations had not been added. I was rather confused but I suppose that's how things are run here and I need to adapt.

(Sorry, when I introduced myself, I forgot to establish my credentials - here they are)

Edited November 11, 2022 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

After that rather strange first meeting, I went and sat down with my staff to hammer out a provisional tactical vision. That was very productive. In frank exchanges, it was explained to me that the squad is massively imbalanced – many DCs, MCs, strikers, but few wide players. The weakest players are fullbacks and centre backs. I have one potentially decent left back/wingback, and one potentially okay right full back/wingback. But if I go with a back 4 or wingbacks, if one gets injured or loses form, I’m jiggered. So I’ll sacrifice those 2 decent fullbacks and go with 3 CBs and 2 DMs, with the wide players still needing to be able to drop back (defence definitely needs a lot of protection). So, the idea is to soak up pressure with a low block, looking to hit opponents on the break with 3 offensive players. As well as the poorest defenders, we have the worst passers in the division, so it’ll be percentage football here, no tiki-taka! This is what we drew up ahead of the first boots hitting grass in my managerial career:

 

 

Edited November 11, 2022 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

I’m feeling the collywobbles even before a ball is kicked. When I outlined our tactical vision to the squad, the response was not as great as it could have been. You see, the club finished second in the league last season, and whilst both Shane and the supporters are understanding enough to accept a top half finish in my first season, the players don’t see why the same squad should accept such an underachievement. Their attitude to my tactical proposals are along the lines of “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it”.  The fullbacks who don’t fit in with my provisional system along with some of the Second XI have immediately asked to leave the club – these are guys who were happy to be fringe squad members last season. They are not giving me any leeway. I was also asked if I’m changing the captaincy and vice-captaincy. I explained that I’m not going to announce anything too soon and that I need time to assess. I need to see who emerges as being with me, and will carry out my wishes to the squad, rather than who will organise a revolt. I’m aware that my man-management skills are zero in a situation that requires astute skills.

If I can get through the first day, having rung around, I’ve scheduled nine pre-season friendlies through July with the intention to play regular mid-week friendlies when there are no cup games to keep the Second XI happier and fitter. I badly need those friendlies to chop and change, to hone the instructions and hopefully, to instil some confidence in me amongst the players.

[phnompenhandy]

I do have two new members of staff who are potentially on my side. Liall Wynne has offer his services free (apart from petrol, match ticket and pie expenses) to scout out our opponents. I could use up to date observations to supplement the memories of the old guard. The other is Clarke Maclean, a 17-year-old beardy geek doing his highers at Fortrose Academy, who heard ‘a bit of a nerd’ was taking charge of The Monsters and offered his services as an occasional Performance Analyst. He’s aware he won’t make the grade as an academy player, but loves the game and hoped I’d appreciate a numbers cruncher more than the old culture did. I ran it by Shane and he said for a tenner a week, the boy could drop by the office whenever I wished to arrange it.

So, that completes our staff – far stronger than our playing squad, it seems to me.

[anagain]

On 11/11/2022 at 03:48, phnompenhandy said:

I’ve inherited a goalkeeper/coach from the senior players, Michael Miele. We don’t need a goalkeeper coach – he can’t train himself and his backup is 42, but he does it for free, so I just let him get on with it.  Miele himself is a veritable FM LLaMa legend – the always desired but rarely seen icon – a fat goalie. ‘Who ate all the pies, Michael?’ Bet he’s never heard that before! 

I love that.

I don't think I've ever managed at quite as low a level - Loughgall was a tiny place but bigger club. I love the attention to detail.

Best of luck with your fat goalie, dolphin watcher and high school analyst. 

[phnompenhandy]

27 minutes ago, anagain said:

I love that.

I don't think I've ever managed at quite as low a level - Loughgall was a tiny place but bigger club. I love the attention to detail.

Best of luck with your fat goalie, dolphin watcher and high school analyst. 

Thanks. It's looking very distinctly like we're not going to achieve much success on the field, so I need to focus on off-field insights to keep the narrative positive!

[phnompenhandy]

First match: First XI v Second XI. Oh dear oh dear oh dear.

 

Positives – Second string set out to prove me wrong - they followed my instructions and played with desire, none more so than young Luke Seago who scored all 4 goals.

Negatives – the senior players will not take any criticism from me no matter how deserved it is. Chris Innes, our only decent defender is much younger than the rest but currently doesn’t have the stamina for a whole game. The others can last but that’s because they don’t move their concrete boots. I’ll be in close touch with Muir to try to ensure he brings me fresh legs at the back next year. The other problem that I’d previously identified was apparent in all its glory here – we just can’t pass. As soon as we break out of defence we just return the ball to the opposition. I may need to ask them to pass over shorter distances, but that would negate the effectiveness of playing on the counter. Our right winger, Ricky Lee got injured late on so I’ll start his backup, young Jacob Kerr, an initially unwanted wingback in his role.

We now embark on that month of friendlies against amateur and lower-level semi-pro outfits. This is not going to be the relaxing experience I’d anticipated.

Edited November 13, 2022 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

I spent the next three mornings with young Clarke – he’s on his school holidays and the rest of the staff (apart from Shane and Rab) come into work in the afternoons when the players report for training. Sara pops into to use the shower after swimming with the dolphins, but that’s by-the-by. Clarke is quite a smart cookie and brings fresh ideas, including the suggestion that we try a new role.

The first couple of training sessions have gotten off to a dodgy start with too many players to mention showing up unfit and unwilling to exert themselves. I only require them to get themselves match fit over the next month but that does require some effort on their part. No point saying anything at this time though – their still smarting from my b*ll*cking after the first match.

Our first friendly opponents were Islavale in Keith, playing in the 7^th tier, a level below us. A semi-pro team with decent players, it would be a fair test for us. So for this game I wanted Boycie to try as a segundo volante. He insisted he wasn’t that into pasta, but once I explained what it involved, he shrugged and said it sounds fair enough. His off-the-ball abilities are pretty good, and we have a playmaker further up the pitch. Six of the ‘second string’ played themselves into the starting line-up for this match.

 

The bus trip home was pleasant, with spirits high. It wasn’t so much the victory, courtesy of an injury time penalty that we were pleased about, so much as the structure, the passing and overall performance. The six who came in started with real drive and passion, eventually pulling the cynical old warhorses along. I’m hopeful the improved attitude will seep into the DNA at our King George V home.

Edited November 12, 2022 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

I fear this is going to be a regular thing:

 

[phnompenhandy]

Wednesday brought a 90 min drive back to Moray to face Dufftown, south of Elgin. They play in 6^th tier, same as us. I expect a stiffer test.

Currently my only major concern is that my central defenders just don’t have the puff to complete a match.  They all range between 30 and 38 years old and none are getting any younger. I might need to devise a strategy to conserve their energies, not that our tactic requires an inordinate amount of running or pressing in the first place.

We lost the game at Dufftown. The result didn’t matter – we played well enough; like last time we created a ton of chances but couldn’t finish them off. A couple of defensive lapses and a red card for Boyce – who’s proving to be a wee thug, cost us. The lads on the bus home were calling him 'Secondo Yellowcarde'. Once our strikers find their shooting boots, we should be okay.

 

Edited November 12, 2022 by phnompenhandy

[Hovis Dexter]

Like this will follow with interest.

[phnompenhandy]

Cumbernauld Colts made the journey up from outside Glasgow. They’re a decent Lowland League outfit on a wee summer jaunt round the Highlands. I’d rather not have faced a side of this quality when we’re still so raw, but Shane was keen on it. The match was a most strange affair. After scoring an early penalty we proceeded to miss our usual bagful of chances while our far better quality opponents hit us with four clinical finishes. Suddenly for some inexplicable reason we remembered where the goal was and thumped three in, in short order. Seago even had a goal wrongly chalked off at the death which would have made it 5-5. I came away even more certain that I was getting my tactical instructions right; there’s not much I can do if the strikers can’t strike and defenders can’t defend.

42-year-old David Harrison is keeping goal for now whilst Micky Meile has permission to start a coaching course. I still have no idea what his plans are – presumably he doesn’t see his future here. I can’t be cynical though as Shane offered to fund a National B certificate for me too. I’ll start it now – I’ll fit it in as and when I can, and Shane and Ross, who both have the badge, have offered to mentor me.

[phnompenhandy]

The next week gave us two home games I’d arranged against minnows which was what we needed next – local lads Nairn St. Ninian and Lewis & Harris over from the Western Isles. For the first game a number of the veterans had prior job commitments, so that gave me the opportunity to have a look at the fringe members of the squad.

I can’t say we were better than the Saints; nevertheless, we scraped a win thanks to a last minute goal from our best player, Allan MacPhee. Unfortunately, Scott Morrison sustained a twisted ankle that will keep him out for a month or so. It was an important game for me, however. I felt that with the boys having had four games to get their legs moving and their brains time to get the gist of my tactics, this was the point to add a more sophisticated element – intelligent pressing. With our formation being far stronger in central areas, I got them to push the opposition into central areas and smother them there. For a first try, I was reasonably encouraged. The intention is to try it with the more senior players in the next game against the Gaels from the Knitting Isles, before seeing if it holds up against highland League opposition the following week.

We WERE far better than the Islanders; we dominated the game but spurned all our chances and had to rely on a penalty again. At the other end, Miele demonstrated what he’s been learning by spooning a week shot to gift the opposition an equaliser to finish 1-1. Worryingly, having concluded that our poor ability to score goals is due to our four specialist strikers all being poachers and too isolated from build up play, and solving that problem by moving MacPhee off the left wing to play as a deep-lying striker, he turned out to be more profligate than anyone. I still believe the concept is sound, so we’ll try again next match.

I made another tactical adjustment that seems to have paid dividends. My initial intention was to soak up pressure and hit opponents on the break. I explained that in terms of playing cautiously, waiting for an opportunity to counter. But the boys interpreted that as lumping the ball straight back to the opposition at every opportunity.  Now I don’t talk about countering; I stress playing positively and keeping passes fairly short when possible. So far it’s working okay – against lower-tier opposition. The next games will tell us much more.

[phnompenhandy]

The next tie is giving me some concern. Shane, Rab, Ross were all keen on bringing Clachnacuddin up from Inverness as half our squad – and staff – have passed through their ranks. Their reserves play in our league and we’re better than them, but the senior side are Highland Leaguers, and have been for the entire history of the league. These days, they tend to dwell in the lower reaches, and our players remind each other that we finished runners-up in the Caley last season and thus the two are equals. I have to keep my thoughts to myself, but I don’t think we are. Maybe a defeat will be a blessing, bringing the old boys back down to Earth. Maybe they’ll raise their game and surprise me, finally having some pride to play for. Let’s see.

I feel I’m mostly there in terms of the right tactics for the upcoming season, but I’m nowhere near knowing my strongest XI. Many of our best players have underwhelmed, whereas fringe players have earned themselves a place in the first team. Ideally, I’d like a settled line-up of my best, most experienced players for the regular Saturday league games (with them needing a week to recuperate), with a Second XI for cup games and friendlies when we’re out of the cups.

Edited November 12, 2022 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

A week on and the mood around the camp has completely changed. My new wee acolyte Clarke was already hailing me a tactical genius ahead of the clash with Clach; after we’d beaten not only our local rivals at home but Strathspey Thistle at their ground, even the most cynical of the old guard was begrudgingly acknowledging I had something about me. In essence, in fear of getting thrashed, I tweaked my tactical plans quite severely to focus on our weaknesses – defending, passing and very limited energy. I came up with a structure that Shane insists is revolutionary – but it worked! All the players did well over both games. The results are unimportant – we had luck on our side at both ends. But the second game in particular demonstrated that against the weakest opposition in the league above us, we can win; logically, against the opponents in our own league, we can win. I just need to boys to believe that – to believe that by following my counsel and with a positive attitude, they can achieve their own expectations.

Here are the reports, and the new – hopefully definitive – tactical masterplan.

 

If you look more closely, we don’t counter-attack often. We soak up pressure, let the opposition have possession in their half and bite them, channeling into the crowded centre, win the ball back and pass it around. Our passing rate are way up, but sprints are down a lot, enabling players to complete 90 minutes. We do create few clear cut chances, but we’re starting to take our chances now we play with two up top.

For our last week, we host neighbouring village side Avoch, and west coast tourist-friendly home of Hamish Macbeth, Plockton. I’m using these games to get match fitness into the lesser-used members of the squad and to keep the hard-earned good morale ticking over.

Edited November 13, 2022 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

The last two friendlies were routine, as expected. One point that stands out is that I made a great call in honouring Fraser with the captaincy – he’s really taken to it and has since proved our hardest-working and beat player, where he links the dense defence with the two strikers. Shane and Rab recommended who they said were better candidates, such as the previous captain Connor MacPhee – who is now my vice captain, but I felt Fraser is established in my first team whereas some of the others haven’t yet convinced me they will be first team regulars.

I should point out that the last friendly against Plockton coincided with the start of the North Caledonian League season. With there being 13 teams in the league, someone has to miss out each weekend, and the first pick was ourselves.

 

It’s interesting that Fort William has got off to a good start. Long labelled “The Worst Team in the World”, the Fort was finally relegated from the Highland League where they’d finish last with next to no wind and goal differences in the minus hundreds year after year.  This should be their rightful level, and indeed the bookies expect them to have a good season. Given that the two highland League reserve teams can’t get promoted, Fort and us are tipped as promotion favourites. Thankfully, both Shane and the fans say they’ll be happy with top half, i.e. 6^th.

We’re expected to finish well ahead of our “bitter rivals”, whom we go into combat with on Match Day 3 (2 for us). I say ‘bitter’ – it is to our fans, but it leaves me mystified. In recent times, us and Inverness Athletic have both been homeless nomads based in Inverness. Whilst we’ve found this temporary abode in Fortrose; Athletic are currently still wandering. But Shane, others among the staff and many players have turned out for Athletic in their time, and some will doubtless follow Martin Bain to our rivals when Shane deems too old even for us. Are we not in fact brothers?  Naturally, there’s no point voicing these musings out loud; all that matters is we get the better of them, or else the fans will never let me hear the last of it.

Edited November 13, 2022 by phnompenhandy

[Hovis Dexter]

Just noticed the Llama motif … nice one.

[anagain]

Actually took the above post for me to notice the llama...this is the ultimate llama...hardcore llamaing!

Edited November 13, 2022 by anagain

[GIMN]

I refuse to believe Nairn St Ninian are a real club.  That's clearly a name made up by someone pretending to be Scottish.  And don't get me started on Plockton and Bonar Bridge.  Clearly all these clubs are named by one person whose had too much Buckie.

The important question: have you made contact with the club on Twitter, yet?  (Might be best to do it before half the team have retired/left)

[phnompenhandy]

1 minute ago, GIMN said:

I refuse to believe Nairn St Ninian are a real club.  That's clearly a name made up by someone pretending to be Scottish.  And don't get me started on Plockton and Bonar Bridge.  Clearly all these clubs are named by one person whose had too much Buckie.

The important question: have you made contact with the club on Twitter, yet?  (Might be best to do it before half the team have retired/left)

I'm following them on Twitter and Facebook - that's where I got the latest info and photos from.

In a previous save a few years ago, I got in touch with a club I was managing - Little Oakley. I linked my story on their Twitter and the players read it. They were not pleased. I'd done the usual Llama thing and binned off the starting squad to bring in improvements via free transfers - one of those exploits that makes LLaMa to easy, imo. Anyway, I hadn't thought that through. This time I'm keeping and using (nearly all - not fullbacks) the players and staff, but it does occur to me that WHEN I link this thread to the club's Twitter feed, it still might anger people whom I blame for not pulling their weight or being too old etc. I'm gonna do it when I'm further into the season though - I hope people take it all in good faith!

[GIMN]

4 minutes ago, phnompenhandy said:

I'm following them on Twitter and Facebook - that's where I got the latest info and photos from.

In a previous save a few years ago, I got in touch with a club I was managing - Little Oakley. I linked my story on their Twitter and the players read it. They were not pleased. I'd done the usual Llama thing and binned off the starting squad to bring in improvements via free transfers - one of those exploits that makes LLaMa to easy, imo. Anyway, I hadn't thought that through. This time I'm keeping and using (nearly all - not fullbacks) the players and staff, but it does occur to me that WHEN I link this thread to the club's Twitter feed, it still might anger people whom I blame for not pulling their weight or being too old etc. I'm gonna do it when I'm further into the season though - I hope people take it all in good faith!

Yeah, that's why I was thinking it might be best to contact them before you've done anything to offend them!

[phnompenhandy]

 

And so it begins.

 

Our season commences in Tain, the home of St. Duthus. Just before I took this job, I’d been reading a history of the club. It’s fascinating – in the 137 years of the club’s existence, nothing has happened. Real grass-roots stuff, that; I love the ambition.

 

   

114 years from now, what will our history be like?

nb. the author was - and I think still is - the researcher for Scottish non-league football in this game.

One matter the book highlighted was that in the early days, local football was all about civic pride and settling local scores. Going by the 37-year-old player/manager's baiting here, I don't think much has changed!

 

 

 

 

Okay enough dithering and start breathing. Time to enter the locker room and give that all-important teamtalk ....

 

Edited November 14, 2022 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

[I changed the skin to 'Tato'. It does a phenomenal job with loads of options, but I can't load my backgrounds, so not sure if I'll stick with it]

 

Well, that was unexpected. 5-3! Goals galore! All over the shop! I set up for a low-scoring game – what happened? It was mainly a story of erratic goalkeeping on both sides. Miele repeatedly ignored my instructions to roll the ball out and build from the back, but two of his howitzers resulted in goals, largely due to incredible howlers from the Saints’ keeper.

On the other hand, my tweak to mentality, nudging back to balanced to conserve energy worked well – even Innes lasted 77 minutes. I compensated by changing the Mezzala duty to attack and Morrison got up to score our first goal.

I feel vindicated, even if surprised. Lower League teams play very direct. We're being goaded with a tiki taka accusation but it's not that. With our passing being the weakest in the league, I found it frustrating that whenever the ball was launched, we'd concede possession. By slowing both the tempo and passing length along with mentality, I'm not going for Man City type possession football - I'm simply trying to be less wasteful. It still shocked me how many goals we scored with such a conservative structure though.

The half back role is taking a little while to instil. Whilst our intelligent pressing is intending to nudge widemen inside, when a winger or wingback does beat our press, I need the wide centre back to go out to the flank and challenge him. That's when the half back drops in to cover him. It shouldn't be that difficult, but none of the boys have the good positioning sense to add it to their muscle memory - yet.

Edited November 14, 2022 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

And so we came to what was already a crunch encounter in only our second game – at home to rivals Athletic. That confidence we got from our first match together with Athletic’s poor start gave us the confidence we needed. We were still porous at the back and left it the last 10 minutes to take the lead, but the fact we had the energy to keep going until time added speaks volumes for my strategy. The fans won’t care anyway – they’re delirious with us sticking to the old Enemy.

Glenn Donoghue has unfortunately pulled his knee ligaments after coming on as a sub in the ‘ homeless derby’. He’s been playing very well as has convinced as attacking midfielder back up to our skipper Fraser. He should be back in three weeks according to Ms. Wright. We wish him well.  

 

Edited November 14, 2022 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

Onto the last match of August and it’s Cup O’Clock. Shane suggested the fans are indifferent to the Football Times Cup and we play our second-string, but I’ve been keeping them fit and match sharp with friendlies, and I’d like to finish the month with a 100% record. And who knows, maybe we can compete for a pot. Martin McRobert’s quality in the friendlies has convinced me to start him over half the Mainland combo  - with a warning that it’ll be his only start if he doesn’t exert himself better on the training ground. Talking of which, Boycie was close to being dropped but he’s turned out to be leading by example in training and I need that, so he gets a reprieve for now. I’m even giving him a change at Secundo Volante rather than at half-back which he isn’t enjoying. Finally, two goals in midweek means Josh Race makes the bench, but otherwise, it’s as you were. Right, let’s sail north to loot and pillage a result at the home of the wild Viking Orcadians!

 

It was blowing a hoolie on the voyage over to Kirkwall, and the boys were all a bit seasick. The first hour was a non-event with one shot on target each side, but then the boys found their land legs and a game of football broke out. Allan MacPhee found space in the area and opened the scoring. Innes mistimed his jump and the ball bounced behind him: 1-1. From then on, the game could have gone either way, but tired legs couldn’t find the onion bag and we found ourselves in a penalty shootout. One guy couldn’t stay calm and shot wide, but it wasn’t one of ours. We’d won the tie!

Edited November 14, 2022 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

The fixture bods now leave us with no game for 20 days, returning in the next round of the cup to last year's league champions, Invergordon. We'll play a couple of wee friendlies to keep fitness levels up and see you again in September!

 

[phnompenhandy]

      I wanted to try out a tactical hunch Clarke and I were quite excited about, so we used the opportunity to arrange two friendlies, with St. Duthus and Golspie. The results were spectacular. The idea was to further conserve energy and focus it more effectively, counter-pressing when we lost the ball, but then holding our shape and slowing the game down. The two wins were unimportant – neither opponent put themselves about, but the key was the players – or most of them – clicked very quickly. I was also trying players out in different roles, which for the most part was successful. Having said that, a few negatives were clarified. I hadn’t intended to lose any players until their contracts were up, but once the transfer window was shut, Shane, Rab, Ross and I got together and agreed that whilst Stevie Macdonald was complaining about lack of game time, every chance he had been given, he blew. In addition, three of the fringe players in Ben Hosie, Scott Maclean and Lee Tarren were consistently putting in minimal effort in training. All three are on final notice and, without a major change in attitude, will be invited to leave when the window next opens.

Edited November 14, 2022 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

        Our one-hundred percent streak came to an end in our fourth match, our second Football Times Cup tie at Invergordon. I can’t be too down – we gave it everything, it could have gone either way, and this time we didn’t get the rub of the green in going down to the odd goal in seven. A couple of lapses in concentration at the back cost us, but I was still pleased at the overall cohesion of the side. Nobody cared about his competition, but I did want to win a trophy in my first season. Oh well, there’ll be another one round in January. Let’s for now focus on getting to the top of the table and staying there!

 

 

Edited November 15, 2022 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

We go into the only two league games in September lying in 4th place - but with a 100% record. You can see from the right hand side tables, Phil and skipper Jamie Lee in particular are doing us proud. Those two upcoming games are against the two reserve sides, highly fancied by the media (although they can't get promoted). Following that, in the slot reserved for the next round of the times Cup, I've arranged a friendly with table-topping Alness, partly in preparation for meeting them competitively a couple of weeks later. So all-in-all, intriguing battles ahead. Our spirits are high, so let's go!

Edited November 15, 2022 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

Isn't that typical - as soon as I praise our boys, our strikers have an off-day, missing chances they'd normally tuck away with ease, and Miele should have done better in conceding a 94th minute winner to Nairn. I still maintain the structure is sound, including a minor tweak in converting the half-back role to defensive midfielder on defend duty the lads just felt more comfortable with that.

We've got a midweek friendly to run the system through another test before setting up to host Clach's second-string next Saturday.

 

[phnompenhandy]

Well isn't this interesting: I was having an after-match drink with the supporters and they revealed an aspiration I hadn't been aware of - the dream of a new stadium! I said I shared the vision and name-checked Drumnadrochit, which they approved of, although most preferred Inverness as they lived there. They have no influence on the board and they accept that, but an intriguing further little nugget is their insistence that Shane is in secret talks about selling the club off to a consortium of fans/business leaders. He never said anything to me, but let's see if anything comes of it.

 

 

[phnompenhandy]

Okay, now it's time to panic. What happened here? Not only the defence, the entire team just never turned up. We should be ticking over on muscle memory and continuing our winning form - instead, the boys just forgot all the basics. I'm dumbfounded. We need that friendly against Alness next week to get back to fundamentals.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Another, more worrying trend is that my coaches are noticing a chronic deterioration in the physical state of our senior players. We knew it was inevitable, but the collective decline is coming more quickly than we'd like. On the other hand, our training and matchplay systems are resulting in very low injury rates, but have we got the balance a wee bit out of kilter?

Two examples - but most are like this:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Right, plenty to mull over. I need to dig deep here.

Edited November 15, 2022 by phnompenhandy

[GIMN]

I'm really hoping that every game headline is going to be "[Name] suffers defeat against former club".  Like every article has been written by the same person who's being doing it for years.  Originally he came up with some top quality pun work and useful descriptive titles, but as he came to terms with his readership of 6 people and an acknowledgement that every player has played for every team at some point in their career, he's just started to phone it in.  Nobody truly cares about Loch Ness vs Clachnacuddin, so no-one's paying any attention to complain about the journalists' lazy penmanship.

Looks like that 20 day break pretty much ruined the good start.  Do you feel the down-tick in form is based on the tactical tweaks, or just the regular inconsistencies of lower league football?

[phnompenhandy]

"Looks like that 20 day break pretty much ruined the good start.  Do you feel the down-tick in form is based on the tactical tweaks, or just the regular inconsistencies of lower league football? "

 

That's the key question. I hope it's the latter as I don't think there's much wrong with my tactics. However, I've got to analyse this, so I'm about to play that friendly game in full, analysing in 2D my wibble-wobble positions, making copious notes. Then I'll probably play the next league game in 90 min detail too, rather than the usual extended highlights.

 

Oh, and on your first point, I've actually subscribed to the local Inverness newspapers who drop match reports into my email inbox. I experience the standard of writing of these local hacks all the time, so the lack of literary quality in the game corresponds very well for me!

Edited November 15, 2022 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

The friendly against Alness has proved very useful. Clarke and I have been pouring over our notes all evening. We conceded two goals early doors, and recovered to draw 2-2.

After we conceded the second goal, I dropped the D-line as far as feasible, making us a little less compact. But at the end of the day, the defenders have to do the basics – I can’t teach these veterans new tricks. McRoberts was the main culprit and got hoiked off early. I switched the two DMs’ roles, and on noticing a few times when Allan MacPhee wanted to pass but had no options, barked out numerous instructions, but in fact, with poor off-the-ball awareness, the forwards weren’t quite where they needed to be whatever I told them. In addition, Alness had a very tight defence, and it was proving tough to get any change out of it.

I felt we controlled the second half. Our defence was solid and well-organised, a result of both my fine adjustments and bringing Martin Mainland on. I do think we need to keep going with a settled back three of Innes flanked by the Mainland brothers. Phil Mac took two of his many chances to pull the score back to 2-2. For the last ten minutes amongst a raft of substitutions, I elected to try out a tactic I hadn’t had a chance to use yet – a strikerless ‘batten down the hatches’, ‘see the game out’ idea. It seemed to do the intended job – one to keep in my back pocket.

So, in essence, we conceded two early goals to the table-toppers. I identified a flaw, fixed it, and from then on we were clearly the better side. I see no crisis here; let’s carry on.

Edited November 15, 2022 by phnompenhandy

[phnompenhandy]

We returned to competitive football with the drabbest game you can imagine.  To be fair, the defence put all the new ideas into effect and were marvellous, but what was the attack about? One shot on target - and not until close to the final whistle at that.

And by the way, how do you go above a side you've just drawn 0-0 with?  We're 8th. That's bottom half, which is below what's expected of me.

Edited November 15, 2022 by phnompenhandy