The Scottish Sunday Clan Net Game

[taloola23uk]

I'm ok to play on sunday

[Scotfun]

Im happy to play but whats this pishhh about "no drinking"...the clan web site has no mention of an alcohol ban

[Scotfun]

The big kickoff episode 3

Technical difficulties with assistants at the club resulted in Peterhead venturing into their first match with a squad fully unprepared for the riguors of 90mins of cup football, the event the challenge cup, the opposition 1st Div Alloa Athletic.

There can be nothing but praise lavished upon the hard working STORM squad, for despite missing their captain and top striker to pre season injury, they took the game to the opposition, closed down space and never allowed the higher lge team time on the ball, two really soft goals, that can only be attributed to the lack of warm up matches, cost Peterhead dearly and they left the field defeated but the moral victors in a classic Scottish cup tie.

4-3 loss.

(It also didnt help much when it was discovered that Manager Burnett had positioned his fastest attacking winger in the DMC role and gave him strick instructions to protect the back four...arsehole)

The injury headache continues and prominant 1st team players are suffering medium term injuries the result 6 would miss the lge opener at the spiriual home of modern football

HAMPDEN

Disaster for THE STORM in the opening 5mins when DC Stone, the most experianced player in a makeshift back four, was red carded, but there was no panic on the Peterhead bench, with an unfit side that would probabily need refreshed as the match progressed the gamble was clear, boss Burnett was seen to be in close consultation with a can of special before uttering those immortal words "fuc it go wi three"

At 2 down by the interval Burnett may have had time to reflect on his bold decision as he hurried up the tunnel for tactical reavaluation..or a pee.

Much has been said in the national press about the resiliance and commitment of THE STORM and by golly did these important character traits not come to the fore at the resumtion of the second half, THE STORM battled bravely and matched Queen's Park in every department and as the match began to close THE STORM were in a deserved lead, QP broke, a long clearance from the box saw a runner take the left flank, the Peterhead attacking right wingback was caught out of position and he tried desperately to get back, but his strong heart and christian upbringing were not enough to overcome tired legs, with only the keeper to beat the QP striker slotted the ball into the far corner for a 92min equaliser.

4-4 Draw.

Brechin were welcomed to Balmoor as the seasons first visitors and they recieved a warm and gusty reception by THE STORM at 3-1 down by the interval manager Mcguinness was struggling to counter the total football doctrine of THE STORM but his tactical changes and personnel replacements at the half paid resonable dividend and they lost only the one second half goal.

4-1 win.

I.C.T. this fixture was much anticipated as THE STORMBRINGER took his still depleted side to wreck havoc in Inverness, it turned out to be a most annoying experiance, with wild erratic shooting from THE STORM forwards too much ball watching from the Defense and a totally inept display by an international keeper.

THE STORM battered seven bells of hell out of the Caley goal but the Thistle was not for giving way and only bent slightly when Peterhead scored their only goal from a corner, the inept and somewhat schoolboy defending by THE STORM back four lead to 3 silly goals gifted to the bouyant homeside.

3-1 loss.

Injuries abating, Burnett was able to field his first choice 11 and despite the fact 3/4 of them were not match fit, they are imbeded with the spirit of the STORM and when the STORMBRINGER summons them they come, they come from the deepest darkest bowles of Hades, infused with the essence of sulphorus demonic grandure to walk amongst mortal men and to hunt the Killing fields of Balmoor their prey

Hamilton

The 2-0 scoreline did not reflect the complete and utter dominance of THE STORM in this home fixture, relentless pressure, unrewarding shooting and an impressive display by the Hamilton keeper keep the result respectable.

2-0 win.

All in all not too bad a start, disappointed in the 1st round exit (again) in the challenge cup because I thought we could make an impact there this term but its not fated, more incense burned to the gods required.

Lge wise 2 wins 1 draw and 1 loss see us sitting in 2nd spot,(on goal diff maybe) but its worth bragging about.

Gaz took his Gretna side into Europe and with an impressive away display advanced into the next round...well done.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I know people like to drop in and find out what we have all been chatting about during our Sunday session's and this, like most session's was very interesting.

Iain (for once) didnt complain about any illness's we suspect a forgien trip is in the offing... and no doubt he will return with Malaria or blackwater fever.

The new guy Alexis is French/Irish which makes him FRESH, began the session by telling us he got the cold from his plumber( a nice man who looks like that dude in the village people) and not one to mince words (if you can imagine the words a French/Irish mix conjures up) immediatley launched a vicious attack on Tracy's Albion side who had just dumped him out of the cup.

Tracy to her credit, responded in a womanly manner ( )

The Fresh guy later on said "Im not fertilizer"

I assured him he was.

then the most contraversial incident in recent times, not since Gaz told us about animal sex of the canine variety occured.

Tracy's daughter wanted her hair braided and for some reason Bod took exception to someone having hair and immediately launched into a listing of his wardrobe and the cost of his shirt's, £200 a piece! I believe thats the going price for gold lame.

To cap the evening off the Fresh guy Alexis said "you guy's are stranger in an un normal way"

Where he got that from I dont know.

[John Paul Remington]

And were off, but stuttering !

Queen of the South got season 3 off to the worst possible starts, with the task of arranging friendlies left to Geordie legnd Peter Beardsley, QOS Assistant Manager, for reasons best known to himself he didn't bother.

So QOS kicked off the season with unfit unprepaired players after manager Stewart had decided to give them a month or so rest during the pre-season. and it showed.

league Challange Cup

Queen of the South 0 - 1 Stranraer

O'Driscol 74

Queen of the South 0 - 0 Ross County

Alloa 3 - 0 Queen of the South

Hamilton 3,75

Little pen 37

Queen of the South 2 - 1 Albion Rovers

Lyle 2 Porhallsson

Jaconelli 80

St johnstone 1 - 2 Queen of the South

MacDonlad 75 Cross 66,93

Queen of the South 0 - 4 Stranraer

O'Driscoll 69,88

Sharp 76,84

A slow start to the season for QOS but things began to turn around with some good solid performances, with the St Johnstone game being the stand out, some fantastic defending all game and some very clinical break aways to secure the points.

With the turn around looking to be secure Stewart left Assistant Beardsley in Charge for the final game and went on holiday ( urgent work stuff ) only to come back and find out that Stranraer and their new fresh manager had done them over 4-0, and looking at Beardsley's team selection has left Stewart wondering why he was hired in the 1st place, the same mistake will not be made again.

*******************************************

Yes tom a wee break in the sun is in he offing, a little stag do, and i'm sure i'll come back with some form of liver complaint

I wonder what the FRESH manager is about, us strange, dont think so, the boy must have spent the night in the wrong chat room, must be all the lettuce he goes through.

[Scotfun]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by John Paul Remington

Game up the night for last minute T & T and players searches from about 5:30pm maybe a little bit earlier.

cheers

Iain

http://www.sundayclan.co.uk<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

He turned up late as usual and he wonders why I have to spend half the night trying to stop people wanting to SHOOT THE HOST!

[Scotfun]

I had one hell of a job trying to find our thread..dont know where it went.

[John Paul Remington]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> He turned up late as usual and he wonders why I have to spend half the night trying to stop people wanting to SHOOT THE HOST! <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

IT WAS MOTHERS DAY !!!!!!

sorry folks but ma wee mammy was just delighted to have me down for dinner, and who am i to say not to a big steak dinner with all the trimmings and ice cream and cake

As spoke about last night, in the boy / boy chat room, sorry I mean the scots clan chat room, Sunday's session will go ahead as usual, and i wont be late this week, but i might have a new illness from my trip

[AndyJ]

Raith Rovers Update

Partick 1-1 Raith

Partick started the game brightly and had an excellent chance through Andy Gibson, but he couldn't finish and blasted it past the post. Sutton then had a chance for Raith 2 minutes later but it was saved in style by Arthur. Gibson had another one on one chance for Partick but again he hit it off target. Britton opened the scoring, after a slick passing move, to give Partick the lead. Andy Harris had a couple of good chances in a row however Arthur was on top form as he pulled off a spectacular double save. Harris played Sutton through on goal after 60 minutes and he duly supplied the finish to make it 1-1. Panther had a very good chance for Partick as he lobbed the keeper but it drifted past thge post. After this chances where confined to long range efforts as the game fizzled out.

Raith 2-0 Aberdeen

This game started slowly with the first real chance coming after 22 minutes. a poor clearance from Hartley fell to Heikker who struck from the edge of the box, the ball took a deflection but Holloway still managed to save it. Raith scored through Sutton after 35 minutes when he got on the end of a Paul Hartley cross to make it 1-0. Hartley himself scored again for Raith to wrap up the 3 points as he curle in a David Beckhamesque style free kick.

Dundee Utd 3-1 Raith

Paul Gallagher, the Dundee Utd golakeeper got man of the match in which Raith should have got at least a share of the spoils. Simon Brown, on his debut for Rovers, got his first good chance on 25 minutes but he hit it too straight so Gallagher easily saved. Stanic got sent off for Raith after 33 minutes giving United the advantage. Samuel gave the home side the lead after 42 minutes. At the start of the second half Sutton crossed the ball to Brown who struck his shot straight at the keeper from 6 yards for the second time in the game. Andy Harris replaced him. However, this didn't seem to help as Harris missed a good chance of his own as he took the ball round the keeper only to place his shot into the side netting. United went on the counter attack as Samuel ran 60 yards with the ball only for the keeper to save, the ball was quickly cleared and Sutton got a well deserved equlaiser for Raith. After 82 minutes Sutton had another chnce to score, a deflected cross fell to his feet but he blasted wide form 3 yards. Raith's poor finishing was punished as United scored their second through Kerr after 85 minutes. Miller added another 3 minutes later to secure the 3 points for the Dundee side.

Raith 0-0 Celtic

A very dull affair in which Celtic never really got out of first gear as all their chances where confined to long range efforts which Valladeres saved with ease. Raith also had a few chances, all of which where, again, long range efforts.

Overall Jones was impressed with his teams start to the season and fight against relegation with 5 points picked up after 4 games. The draw against Celtic was obviously the stand out result and Raith's home form will be vital if they have any chance of survival. Jones also praised John Sutton who has started the season well with 3 goals in 4 games.

[superayrunited]

I take it no poor sod's been lumbered with East Stirling yet this season?

[Scotfun]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by superayrunited:

I take it no poor sod's been lumbered with East Stirling yet this season?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

They await your return Steve, they need a strong man at the helm, a leader and man of decisive action but they cant get that so your next choice.

[Lambie\'s Lovechild]

I regret to advise i will be unavailable for the game on Sunday, until such times as the current issues with my system are resolved. Its going back to the manufacturers sometime midweek, and i dont expect to see it back here for a good few weeks. Additionally, the CM03/04 CD is in the CD Rom drive, and with no power to said unit, i cannot remove the CD and thus cannot currently play Champo.

I shall endeavour to update the relevant individuals once the problem is resolved.

Bod

[Scotfun]

Hurry back Bod, ASAP.

[AlexisManson]

I have just seen Tracy's picture for the first time in the Scottish Clan thread. You seem like quite a looker!

[OMDave]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> To cap the evening off the Fresh guy Alexis said "you guys are stranger in an un normal way" Where he got that from I don't know. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I do...

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> You seem like quite a looker! <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Alex you need to read up on your female psychology...Try Germaine Greer...

[Scotfun]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by AlexisManson:

I have just seen Tracy's picture for the first time in the Scottish Clan thread. You seem like quite a looker! <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Not only that Alex, I have had dinner with Tracy and as well as the obvious, which you noted, she is an extermely nice lady, pleasant and extremely knowledgable, and damn right sexy (Ooops promised not to mention that) but if your thinking any funny stuff, your way down the cue.

I cant see anyway You could possibly impress her.

[AlexisManson]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by OMDave:

To cap the evening off the Fresh guy Alexis said "you guys are stranger in an un normal way" Where he got that from I don't know.

I do...

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

David don't pay attention to Tom he is a gob****e. He keeps putting words in other people's mouths

All I said was 'you guys are strange' he added the rest

[AlexisManson]

Having never heard of Germaine Greer, I decided to find out about her, and as soon as I saw she was pro-female circumcision I closed the window. I'm all for free speech, but only as long as it doesn't infringe upon human rights for God's sake!

[Scotfun]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by AlexisManson:

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

David don't pay attention to Tom he is a gob****e. He keeps putting words in other people's mouths

I am offended!!!...anyone reading this statement would be erringly led to the conclusion that I am intentionaly attempting to "stir up" contraversy or make my 'playmates' appear foolish for some perverse sadistic reason that honestly escapes me.

would I do that to fellow clan members?

If I had...I would have said you were a shirtlifter and posted a personnal ad in your name.

Mmmmm now there's a thought.

[Scotfun]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by AlexisManson:

Having never heard of Germaine Greer, I decided to find out about her, and as soon as I saw she was pro-female circumcision I closed the window. I'm all for free speech, but only as long as it doesn't infringe upon human rights for God's sake! <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

LOL at Alex, if this is your attempt at impressing Tracy with a stand for feminisim your flogging a dead horse mate, Tracy firmly believes females should wear sexy clothes such as stockings and black thong's and always conduct themsleves in a seductive manner, and having heard her discuss this topic over dinner she convinced me.

Try again.

[Lambie\'s Lovechild]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally Posted by that Bampot Burnett

for some perverse sadistic reason<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Mr Burnett. The jury of your peers feels that perhaps with constant references to all things Rubber, Leather and of a distinctly bizarre nature, perhaps the commentary that you are taking a perverse pleasure in the actions of others is not only entirely accurate, but possibly in breach of the laws of the country.

We would also like to know why you insist on wearing such gear whilst in the dugout at various away grounds. Womens Underwear on your head is one thing, but a studded leather jockstrap (studded on both sides according to the fourth officials report) really is very close to a breach of SFA regulations.

[AlexisManson]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Scotfun:

_LOL at Alex_, if this is your attempt at impressing Tracy with a stand for feminisim your flogging a dead horse mate, Tracy firmly believes females should wear sexy clothes such as stockings and black thong's and always conduct themsleves in a seductive manner, and having heard her discuss this topic over dinner she convinced me.

Try again.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I shouldn't take this discussion further really but I will because I am stubborn. I was not taking a stand for feminism, as I was criticising a feminist! And I was not trying to impress anyone, I just don't know many people who think female circumcision is a good thing. Hardly anyone has that kind of opinion in Europe, though it is common practice in some parts of Africa.

[Powlay]

Female what?

They have foreskin?

I think the biird should educate me and show me hers (slag me away you heathens)

[John Paul Remington]

Lo All,

I'm back in the country and after spending an hour bouncing the the spam and junk email and though i'll check the thread, and glad to see that i wasn't let down with you lot sticking to the game and chatting about footy

anyway I'm with powlay on this one, female what !!!!!

I'd being all up for a look at this soley for the purpose of education you understand.

Gem up half five folks.

[Scotfun]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lambie's Lovechild:

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>_Originally Posted by that Bampot Burnett_

for some perverse sadistic reason<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

We would also like to know why you insist on wearing such gear whilst in the dugout at various away grounds. Womens Underwear on your head is one thing, but a studded leather jockstrap (studded on both sides according to the fourth officials report) really is very close to a breach of SFA regulations.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Well its really for comfort, the jockstrap with the inner studding helps to releave the itching from my rash.

As for the breach of SFA reg's, I have no fear of the SFA after they said my capacity wasn't acceptable, I took them to the high court and laid my facilities on the table, the contempt of court ruling by the Lord advocate is at this moment under appeal by my QC.

[Scotfun]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by John Paul Remington:

Lo All,

and glad to see that i wasn't let down with you lot sticking to the game and chatting about footy

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Yes well, Iain I have kept everyone in order whilst you were away and I think I done a damn fine job!

[Scotfun]

Originally posted by AlexisManson:

I was not taking a stand for feminism, as I was criticising a feminist! I just don't know many people who think female circumcision is a good thing.QUOTE]

In all seriousness we must acknowledge that Ms Greer was using a metaphor with the title 'the Female Eunach' she was infact refering to the stifling of females as a seperate species in a male dominated world, she firmly beleves that Female circumsision is a criminal act and just another example of oppression of the female by the male.

I have heard Ms Greer lecture at Cambridge and wholeheartedly support her stance.

[Scotfun]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Powlay:

Female what?

They have foreskin?

I think the biird should educate me and show me hers (slag me away you heathens)<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

The curcumsision of female genitalia refers to the forced removal of the labia, it is a criminal act of mutilation performed on young girls, most prevalent in North Africa. There have been realtivly few reported cases within the UK.

[AlexisManson]

Really? I thought it was the removal of part of the clitoris, or even the whole of it (seriously). And I thought it was most prevalent in West Africa, but you seem to know about these things better than I do so I'll trust you.

[Scotfun]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by AlexisManson:

Really? I thought it was the removal of part of the clitoris, or even the whole of it (seriously).<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

No your right Alex but the majority of those who are gonna discuss this will not be familure with that sensory organ...but flaps they understand. The removal of the clitoris and labia is known as excison.

Its most barbaric and prevalent in Egypt, Somalia & Ethiopia.

[Gary Toner]

Hmmm ya know i thought this was the Sunday Clan thread, not a discussion on female curcumsision.

I must have took the wrong turn somewhere.

[Scotfun]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Gary Toner:

Hmmm ya know i thought this was the Sunday Clan thread, not a discussion on female curcumsision.

I must have took the wrong turn somewhere.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Got a little off thread subject there but its nice to know we can address issues in a sensible adult manner.

[Scotfun]

Its all fuds at the end 0f the day!

[AlexisManson]

Thanks

[This message was edited by AlexisManson on 28 March 2004 at 16:03.]

[Scotfun]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by AlexisManson:

What's fuds?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

LOL your clan mates for want of a better example....

Female genitalia

[Gary Toner]

The Black 'n' Whites continue to make strides at home and in Europe!

But will it last? Especially in Europe where we dumped Polish team GKS Katowice out we drew in the next round French cracks Bordeuax, will the Scottish minnows raise to the challenge or will it be the French side that go through only time will tell.

League wise we made a great start to the 1st divison in typical Gretna fashion, with wins over Alloa and Albion Rovers was only slighty marred with a draw at St Johnstone.

Challenge cup has never been a kind tournement to Gretna but we are still alive in that tournement after some fine wins over Alloa, Morton and Montrose.

We made a last minute signing from Morton and that was flying Finn Uotinen for an undisclosed fee, we at Gretna feel he will prove to be a valuble assest at Raydale and proved what he is capable of when he grabbed his first goal against none other that Morton.

Results<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre">

Challenge Cup 1st - Gretna 4 - 2 Montrose

Oskarsson 49,53,88 Woods 45,90

Huss 68

Raydale - Gretna 4 - 0 Alloa

Oskarsson 5,12.46

Aitken 40

Uefa Cup 1st leg - Raydale - Gretna 0 - 0 GKS Katowice

Cameron 25,90 Chimielskoki 39

Bollan OG 51

Cliftonhil - Albion Rovers 2 - 3 Gretna

Coulter 39 Oskarsson 5,57

Porhallson 92 Cameron 89

Challenge Cup2nd - Cappielow - Morton 1 - 2 Gretna

McKenzie 2 Uotinen 50

Holko 120

Raydale - Gretna 2 - 2 St Johnstone

Hutton 12 MacDonald 20

McColligan 79 Baxter 33

UefaCup 2nd leg - Bukowa - GKS Katowice 1 - 3 Gretna

Adamski 17 Oskarsson 10

Cameron 14

O'Neill 44

ChallengeCup 3rd - Recreation - Alloa 2 - 3 Gretna

Varielle 8 Cameron 49,66

Walker 28 Huss 51

</pre>

[Scotfun]

Forfar welcomed The STORM on a bleak Saturday afternoon and from the whistle pushed the North East side back, its unusual for THE STORM to be confined, the elemental energy that pulses through this side always finds an outlet, they probe and harrie, searching for an Achilies heal, and once found they exploit the weakness, bringing the full force of THE STORM to bear until the torrent ensues and opposing teams are overwhelmed.

But not today.

Forfar matched THE STORM in every department and the midfield, so often the domain of THE STORM was fought over in a bloody confrontation. At 2-2 Boss Burnett would have been happy to walk away but a decisive defence splitting pass from Peterhead Captain Mann brought the winning goal on the stroke of full time.

2-3 win

Motherwell at Balmoor, perhaps the 'Well had heard the warning's, the tales from other defeated sides that travelled the long dark roads to the North East, if they did, they didnt heed them.

Peterhead were sitting comfortably before Motherwell scored their first of two but at four down these were mere consolations and the legend that is THE STORM grows.

4-2 win

East Fife away,

it is only now, at the time of writing that a pattern is emerging, and on rechecking previous results the findings are confirmed.

East Fife 4-2 Peterhead

Heavy dark skies rolled in from the North sea as MORTON carefully picked their way through the bones and reputation's scattered around the Killing fields of Balmoor and, as so many challengers before them, they were in awe of the ferocity, power and strenght of THE STORM they succummed to that which is LEGEND and left broken and defeated.

4-0 win

Top/bottom clash in the lovely town of Paisley, ST Mirren frustrated, contained and defeated THE STORM

4-2 loss

* * * * * *

THE STORM are neigh near invincinble under the dark skies that cast their blessing's upon The Killing Fields of Balmoor but results show, plainly that they are struggling away in the heathen hinterlands to the South having lost all but one away fixture this should have been recognised by the STORMBRINGER and amended before now, he can only conclude that events overshadowed his thought proccess and if he would only stop ersing about and got down to business THE STORM would be sitting on top with a comfortable margine, as it is, far too many teams are clawing at his throne, a radical rethink of away tactic's is proscribed.

* * * * * *

On a lighter note our chat room was rather uneventful this Sunday, we have had the big contraversies, animal sex, Bod's shirt's but this week it was just Fudge.

Most of us admitted a licking for fudge except Tracy who complained it played havoc with her teeth and she graceously decided to give her fudge to clan members who wanted any, there was a joyous show of hands as we all clambered for a sample. 'Cept Bod who for reason's best known to himself prefers 'cock n nut' icing.

Oh yes nearly forgot, there was a wee mention of ungamesmanship etiquette which has still to be resolved.

[John Paul Remington]

ooppsss double post

[John Paul Remington]

Nice post as usual Tom, try explaining that to your boss why you burst out laughing in the office over a post about fudge !!!!!

Yes that little bit of ungamesmanship from bod, to be honest its rather scares me a little that he openly admits to having a list of school boys that he actively watches to acess there development, scarey stuff.

[taloola23uk]

Airdrie 1 - 2 Albion Rovers

It was local Derby day and The Wee Rovers had the upper hand as young striker Paul McManus hit a great shot and scored in the tenth minute which was followed up by an incredible piece of individual play from Porhallson in the 40th minute. With Rovers in front by two goals the Diamonds had a lot to do in the second half, they tried their best but only managed to break the Rovers defence once when Stephen Docherty tried a shot from 30 yards out. It was a fantastic goal, he hit it low and hard and it was too much for the keeper to get to.

Albion Rovers 3 - 0 Ayr

The Wee Rovers were the runaway leaders in this match, they barely allowed Ayr any possession and when they did get the ball they were closed down immediately.

Rovers managed 3 goals, two for man of the match Paul McManus and another for Porhallson. The Rovers seem to have found the formula that is working for them and I'm sure veryone involved with the club will be delighted about this.

Raith Rovers 1 - 3 Albion Rovers

It was cup time again as the Rovers team travelled to Stark's Park. Raith were sitting nicely in fifth place in the premier league so the players knew this would be a hard game.

Rovers took the lead from a a corner which saw Coulter get the opening goal. Raith never let Albion Rovers get comfortable though as they equalised 5 minutes later through a great piece of team play with John Sutton getting the finishing touch. The game was diificult from their and with only 3 minutes left Albion Rovers got their second. At this point the fans thought it was over and Albion Rovers had won, it was confirmed though as Porhallson got another in injury time.

The team now look forward to the third round.

The team celebrated as young central defender Kenny McMillan got Young player of the Month in the first division for Spetember. With the players now getting recognition it is highlighting the quality of football that is now being played at Cliftonhill.

Ross County 1 - 3 Albion Rovers

Rovers had another runaway victory as man of the match and fans favourite Bogiswa Nhlabats got 2 goals, while young striker McManus added another goal to his tally.

County managed a goal but were never really in the game and were lucky not to lose by more than 3 goals.

That win puts Albion Rovers in 1st place in the league.

Albion Rovers 2 - 0 Alloa

Rovers maintain their top of the league status as they secure another victory. Paul McManus got the firt goal after a great one two with Porhallson which he finished superbly.

Porhallson got the second 25 mins later after receiving a great pass from Coulter he managed to beat the defender he looked up and saw the keeper off his line and chipped the ball in the net. The fans went crazy and were singing the praises of the Rovers team.In particular the two on form strikerrs who seem to be deadly at the minute.

Rovers made history in their last match as they made a record 7 wins in a row.

Today Watson revealed to the gathering media her new signing. Tommy Lee, is a 19 year old goalkeeper who is an ex Man Utd youth player and had a brief loan spell at Hearts.

'Were glad to have Tommy on board and hopefully this shows the determination I have to make this club a footballing force in Scotland. By bringing in young talented players I hope to bulk up the squad'

Clyde 2 - 1 Albion Rovers

There first defeat in 7 games came for Rovers as Clyde managed to push the Lanarkshire men to the wire.It was sitting 1-1 at half time and in the last ten minutes Albion Rovers managed to get a penalty but Coulter failed to hit the back of the net and the rebound came out, Clyde played a great counter attack and took the ball to the other end of the park and scored a great goal.

I finish this update by just confirming that I am Still top of the first division and in the only promotion spot, it is going to be difficult to stay there but I intend to do my best.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

And for the record Tom, I never offered anybody any fudge be it mine or otherwise. I just said I didnt like it, have to agree about the 'cock n nut' thing thought that was a bit strange. ITS YOU BOD!!!!!!!

And never ever go back to the topic of female circumcision again and if Germaine Greer thinks it's ok then she needs shot.

[Scotfun]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by taloola23uk:

And never ever go back to the topic of female circumcision again and if Germaine Greer thinks it's ok then she needs shot. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

She dosen't thats all a misunderstanding, I didnt bring up the subject of Fem Circum, I was only explaining to Alex what it entailed.

And Im also sorry about the fudge Tracy and may the subject never cross my lips again.

And I will not mention another word about it.

'Except to say that Im sure your fudge is very nice, but I dont have a sweet tooth, now call that a crime if you will but if I cant eat fudge I cant eat fudge, does that really make me a bad person? (there's no need to answer that) so end of subject..we'll just kick the fudge into touch.(to coin a soccer phrase)

[Scotfun]

SEE thats you Alex, you got me in trouble wi Tracy.

now what am I going to do?

she might not speak to me anymore!!!

No fudge for you when it gets dished out.

[John Paul Remington]

Well Tom, I'm sure Alex didn't do much to get T in a mood with you, pretty sure you done that on your own.

Even if she wont talk to you I'm sure you'll keep talking to her.

Quite dissapointed theres no fudge ! must admit i do like a good piece of fudge, oh well I'll just need to play with my balls, football balls that is dont want anyone getting the wrong idea here.

[dogs]

"a finger of fudge is just enough......"

this thread just goes from strength to strength

[Scotfun]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by dogs:

"a finger of fudge is just enough......"

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I remember that one..how does it go again..

"a finger of fudge is just enough..

beanz meanz heinz"

Brilliant advert

[John Paul Remington]

Mixed Fortunes of Qeen oF the South

Queen of the South have had a mixed start to the season, nothing on the scale of last years explosive start and new sigings dont appear to have settled in as expected.

Manager Stewart has been forced to rethink his tactics and match formation to try and drag the best from the team and get them back onto winnings ways, but his is a little stumped at the poor perfomances by some you may simply using Queen of the South as one last pay day....

Queen of the South 2 - 1 Gretna

Jaconelli 21,61 Cameron 15

Clyde 2 - 0 Queen Of the South

Smith 86,pen 90

Falkirk 3 - 1 Queen of the South

Birchall 11 Jaconelli 60

Henry 74

Whalen 89

Queen of the South 2 - 0 Airdrie

Walton 36

Hannah 76

Ayr 3 - 1 Queen of the South

Miller 19 McAlpine 10

McGrady 22

Hardie 25

[Scotfun]

There was a bright red flash as the incense hit the open flame on the brazier...

"Ergo, ergo adalack, belzebub, diablo givusa resulto.." more incense and a bang of a gong, a chicken is held high by the feet, a flash of white light as the black candles illuminate the blade of the curved dagger, "Accept this sacrifice..dark lord and master..."

" Jesus christ!..can you no shut up ..am trying to watch the telly!" she yelled

"fuksake" he tensed and cringed before shouting "Am trying to make a sacrifice here!"

"Well can you no dae it quitely..am watching Eastenders...Alfie is in bother wi that gangster boy"

"Eastender's!...am in consort wi the prince o darkness and yur talking eastenders!" he said waving the curved blade of the dagger

"And you can hoover up they chicken feathers cos am no." she said folding her arms

"fuk the feathers!" he yelled

"Well thats always you ..isint it,.. am no having a clerty hoose cos o you ya pig!"

He laughed.."You have no idea have you..no fukin idea...if its no bingo or curtins you've no idea."

"Am no cleaning it up!"

"Did ah say..'ohh Louise can you clean up this spilt sacrificial blood please'..NAW ah didnay..did ah!"

"Pig!"

"HaaHaaHaa Nooooo idea..no idea..tube!"

"Say what you want," she folded her long legs under her "Yur still a pig"

"Ha ..if only you knew..if only.."

"And what's that thru there?" she askes with a quick flick of the head

"What?" he said dismissively

"In the spare room!"

He took on an aire of superiority "That happens to be SAMOZAN, lord of the flame, knight commander of the legions of hell, fifth denizen in the order of demons"

She sprang to her feet and advanced on him menacingly, the manicured nail pointing dangerously close to his eye, " Naw. Naw, if ah canny have a kitten yur no huv'en any demon's!"

"Whit!"

"Get it shifted!"

"Ur ye daft! he drinks baby's blood and raveshes wumin, raises cities to the ground and..."

"He what women?"

"Raveshes! the books say he's insatiable!"

She took a step backwards.

"Well maybe I have a been a wee bit hasty.." she said spreading her arms as if in surrender "It's only right that yur pal's get to stay now and again..maybe a wee bit longer even.."

"Are you sure?" he smiled

"Ooh I think we can cope wi an extra face around the hoose...Im sure I can manage."

"Thanks babe yur a star.."

"Aye.." she smiled "if it helps you win yur wee game Im willing to bend over."

[Gary Toner]

We are black we are white we are Gretna and were no ****e.... maybe

Gretna are finding life a little difficult in the 1st divison but never the less they still plough on and are picking up points in mostly close faught matches, while they shock everyone in the football world by knocking out French cracks Bordeaux in the Uefa cup. A few defeats in the league really left us scratching our asses as we really should have performed better but we really can't complain over our overall performances this season!

Results

<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre">

Raydale - Clyde 3 - 2 Gretna

McIntyre 4 Oskarsson 15

Invincible 12 Juliusson 82

Smith 25

Palmerston - Queen Of The South 2 - 1 Gretna

Jaconelli 21,61 Cameron 15

ChallengeCup Semi - Station Park - Forfar 1 - 3 Gretna

Tosh 28 Williams 13,40

Aitken 90

Raydale - Gretna 1 - 1 Falkirk

Williams 46 Lowing 2

UefaCup1st 1ST Leg - Raydale - Gretna 2 - 0 Bordeaux

Cameron 5

Oskarsson 56

Excelsior - Airdrie Utd 0 - 2 Gretna

Cameron 12

Stevens 64

Raydale - Gretna 7 - 1 Ayr

Oskarsson 7, Miller 31

27,33

Cameron 30

Agnew 45

Williams 69,72

UefaCup1ST 2ND LEG - Bordeaux 2 - 1 Gretna

Feindouno 4,79 Agnew 21

Dingwall - Ross CO. 4 - 1 Gretna

williams 3,30 Oskarsson 27

Howard 60

Armstrong 85

</pre>

Onwards and upwards with games against CSKA Sofia In the UEFA cup to come and a Challenge cup final agaisnt Airdrie this next session can prove to be critical in Gretna's season and remember Don't Sing It....Just Bring It..

[taloola23uk]

Albion Rovers 4 - 0 St Johnstone

Rovers came out determined to prove they were worthy of the top slot and that is what they did. Two penalties in the first 30 mins gave them a comfortable lead with Porhallson getting another at the last minute before half time it looked all over for St Johnstone. Three goals behind the St Johnstone team came out with everything to play for and seemed to be spending most of their time in their own half. Rovers managed another as McDonald flighted in a great corner Sean Kilgannon managed to get his head on it and in it went. The game ended after this as St Johnstone then put 9 men in defence to do some damage limitation.

Alloa 1 - 3 Albion Rovers League Cup 3rd Round

Alloa made a good start with a goal from Murray Watson in the 3rd minute, they didnt have the lead for too long though as Rovers pulled one back in the 31st minute.After several attempts at goal it was Colin Boylan who managed to force it through the defenders in the end which made the game level.

Neither team found the back of the net in the second half so the game went to extra time. It was a very tense atmosphere at Recreation Park as both teams tried desperately to stay in the cup but McManus shattered the dreams of the Alloa fans as he hit the back of the net after playing a great link up with Porhallson. Rovers go through to the quarter final.

Gretna 7 - 0 Albion Rovers

What happened in this game is a mystery, as Rovers lost 7 goals. They defended badly and allowed Oskarrsson and Martin to run wild all over them.Oskarrsson managed 4 goals and Cameron got 3. The rumour going round Cliftonhill is that the defence had been in the players lounge before the game and Gretna boss Toner had given them all ciggies.

Albion Rovers 4 - 2 Queen of the South

Rovers lost two goals early on in the first half with both of them coming from set pieces. Rovers started their comeback with a superb individual effort from McManus as he got passed both defenders and curved the ball round the keeper. McManus got the second goal for Rovers to bring the game level after Porhallson played a great cross into the box he carefully picked his spot and struck it hard. The fans couldnt beleive it as McManus sealed his hat trick and scored the third goal for Rovers which took them into the lead.Not wanting to be overshadowed by his strike partner Porhallson got a goal in the 80th minute.

Falkirk 2 - 2 Albion Rovers

Birchall scored a good goal to put Falkirk in the lead in the first 10 minutes, it took till the second half a and a good team effort before Rovers could equalise. Rovers took the lead soon after from a superb goal from Mcmanus. But Falkirk werent giving up without a fight and made a dramatic comeback with a good goal from Andy Rodgers.

The game ended a draw and it was a fair reflection of how both teams played as they were very evenly matched.

Albion Rovers 3 - 0 Airdrie Utd

It was the local derby and the fans were in a jubilant mood, the atmosphere was great and the fans went wild as McManus opened the scoring in the 13th minute, it was quickly followed by a great strike from midfielder Graeme McCaul taking the Rovers two goals in the lead. Richardson got a goal in the second half too which put the game beyond Airdrie's grasp. The home fans partied as the visitors left in a hurry. The defeat is only made worse by the fact that Rovers are still sitting top of the league while their rivals were holding everyone up from bottom place.

Albion Rovers 0 - 3 Gretna League Cup Quarter Final

Yet again Toner managed to infiltrate the Rovers defence and hand round the strange ciggies. Watson left the ground fuming vowing that she would have revenge even if it meant she had to resort to Footballer's Wives tactics and get a voodoo doll.

[Gary Toner]

Those cigarettes were perfectly legal......

[Scotfun]

As he closed the front door behind him, the acrid smell of sulpher caught his nostrils, he marched up the hall, the door to the room that held SAMOZAN was ajar, filling his lungs with air he barged in.

Rancid carcases of sheep skewerd on rusty hooks swung from the ceiling, bluebottles swarmed over the dismembered and half devoured remnants of a toad, a thick black candle made from the body fat of pregnant women burned low..the bed wasnt even made.

"Shiiiiit!" he turned and ran down the hall "louise!..Louise!" he ran past his bedroom and stopped dead, he turned back and slowly pushed open the door "What the fuk are you doing?"

SAMOZAN sat in the bed smoking a cigarette, the CHAOS demon shrugged his shoulders "What?"

"Your no supposed to smoke in this room!" he said pointing his finger "put it out before Louise gets back!"

"Oh Im here." said a familure voice

He looked around the room but saw no one

Suddenly Louise's heads popped up from the side of the bed, her hair all tossled as if she had been dragged through a hedge, a bead of sweat ran down her forehead coming to rest on the tip of her nose. "hiya baby"

"Hiya...what's he doing"

"Who?" she said in a matter of fact manner

"That bastar!" he said jesticating at the chaos demon with a forefinger "He's smoking in the room."

"Oh him...he's resting."

"Resting!"

"He's been kind enough to help me out today," she smiled and pinched the chaos demon's leathery cheek.

"helping do what?"

"Oh...all the wee jobs you canny get round to because of your wee football game."

He stood looking at her, his eyes narrowed and his brow creased "Do you think he could fix that plaster work in the hall?"

She looked at him with a quizzical expression

"The cracks.." he said "could he fill the cracks?"

"Oh yes!...well a couple anyway."

"Okay then...but dont let him out of the house."

"I wont," she stood up, her naked body glistened with sweat "I'll put the kettle on,"

"You better put some clothes on its cold," he said as she passed him

"Oh Im far too hot,"

"Well put your slippers on before you stand on that cold lino or you'll get a chill in your privates." he shouted after her

SAMOZAN was blowing smoke rings

"Right you.."he said grabbing the quilt " get up"

SAMOZAN frowned and spoke in a deep animlistic gutteral sound "Ah am knackerd man!"

"Com'on...now player list's...do you like Scandinavians?"

SAMOZAN rose reluctantly "Aye.." he rasped "Their good..wi broon sauce"