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Soviet Sensation or Russian Write-off?


EvilDave

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"Just got to keep it going now. More of the same, exactly what we've been doing all season. Ticking over, and we'll be there. Eight to go."

Valeri's largely meaningless mantras were becoming a fixture of his Anzhi office as the season drew to a close, but the intent was clear - keep going. Four wins and two draws since Christmas put his side in a strong position, with promotion a real possibility.

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"Just the 10 points clear of the play-off places - and we showed Torpedo what we're made of. Look at Dinamo too - just look at them, skulking back down the table where they belong.

"Kids look good though, and another badge won't hurt - how many of these things are there? Eight games left, that's all. Eight to go."

Was our man feeling the pressure?

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30 minutes ago, Bigpapa42 said:

Ouch, tough run to finish the season.

Love seeing Torpedo Moscow do well, though. Not sure I've ever seen them threaten to get back into the RPL.

Still four games to go, but yeah, not the best time to hit a slump.

Torpedo are doing very well, and have had a bit of a strange end to the season - their manager was poached by Rostov just before the run-in, and they then pinched Mashuk's boss (current Spartak GK Artem Rebrov), who only replaced me in the summer. Not sure if they're PL material though...

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On 3/25/2017 at 02:05, noikeee said:

Well even if you finish 2nd you're going to go up anyway. That looks very comfortable.

It certainly looks that way - frustrating to lose it now after being on top for so long though!

On 3/25/2017 at 02:30, ManUtd1 said:

Excellent work here, and the delivery is class. :applause:

Thanks - hopefully Valeri will remain entertaining for some time yet!

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"Four games to go in a title fight, only one at home. Khimki, Dinamo, Volgar, Krylya - two lots of midtable fodder, a play-off hopeful and one side doomed for the drop. Eight goals, no reply - that's how you bounce back!"

Anzhi had hit a slump in the previous four games, but Valeri's boys made no mistake in the run-in. Arsenal Tula were the team to chase, and Anzhi did their best, grabbing 12 points from 12 to pile on the pressure. But was it enough?

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"Champions, baby! Poor little Arsenal couldn't cope, couldn't stand the pressure of the Anzhi juggernaut, couldn't handle us breathing down their necks so moved out of the way. The whiny little sods bottled it, and the trophy is rightfully ours!

"And to think at the start of the year all the board wanted was a top half finish. Show a little faith, man!"

It was indeed enough - Arsenal crumbled, losing two of their last four and handing the title to Valeri's side before they even had to play their last game in Samara. Promotion had been sown up for three matches by that point, so this was all about the title, and Soldatkin adds a second league trophy to his mantelpiece after just three seasons in management. It seems his own hype might just have something in it...

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"So, time to take on the big boys - Zenit, Spartak, Rubin, we're coming for you. The current squad has earned a shot, but there'll be improvements for sure. With Medvedev, Mkrtchyan and Zuev we're strong at the back, in midfield and in attack, but we'll need depth, youth, and a few upgrades if we're going to compete.

"Oh yes, we're going to compete. I'm not bothered what the board think, if anybody reckons we're going up just to scrap our way into a relegation play-off, they've got another thing coming. Anzhi are back in the big time, and we're going to put Dagestan back on the footballing map!"

Whether or not Valeri actually had a plan, only time would tell, but part of it would surely be to improve his team's discipline. A whopping 87 yellows and six reds was a league record by some distance, and playing short-handed against the best in the country would surely lead to relegation.

That said, Valeri Soldatkin was not the most orthodox of football managers - perhaps more cards was the answer? A new formation? Entirely new first team? We'd have to wait and see.

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On 3/27/2017 at 18:40, Keano16 said:

Congrats on the win!

Thanks! We ended the season perfectly - we'd have been stuffed otherwise!

On 3/28/2017 at 00:19, ManUtd1 said:

 Alright, lads! Anzhi is on the march to Moscow! 

Eh, gaffer...I think you should find a better way to phrase that, yeah?

"I'm looking to purge the squad before we get to the Premier League."

"Purge, boss? Really?"

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"I tell you what, the FA have got a lot to answer for. Spartak and Zenit throwing money around like it's out of fashion, and us feeding off scraps. Plenty of signings, sure, but we're behind before we even start with the financial gap."

Valeri had a point. The teams at the top of the table were spending millions on backups, Anzhi had to make their money go a lot further - first-teamers, backups, youth signings. That didn't stop Valeri being busy over pre-season though.

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"This is exactly why we need the Union back together. I'm only allowed six foreigners on the pitch, and even the bloody Ukrainians count - that's most of our defence! Hardly surprising the decent Russians cost a fortune..."

With the foreigner rules in place, Valeri had to be smart. Of those brought in, Anisimov, Kyryukhantsev, Safonov, Dolgov and Ozbiliz would likely be regulars, with the rest a smattering of reserves and kids to develop. Papunushvili would be starting too, had he not broken his foot in the first training session...

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"Sometimes this country just doesn't even pretend. First game up, the paupers of the league, and who does the fixture list 'randomly' give us? Zenit away. You couldn't write this."

Valeri simply couldn't believe in the legitimacy of the random number generator. Irrespective of any scheduling bias or dodgy maths - Anzhi spent more on wages than Torpedo, so were technically not the RPL's poorest club - the game didn't pan out as planned for his men.

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"And to think they thought we'd be going straight back down. That we couldn't stand the heat of the top flight. That we'd be the laughing stock of Dagestan.

"Oh no. Five games, three wins, and the only losses away to top of the biggest sides in the country. For now. We're here to stay, and I'll be damned if we don't ruffle a few feathers while we're at it!"

Valeri was in the mood of a fight, and the results bore that out. After the opening day defeat in St Petersburg, Anzhi reeled off three straight home wins to put some early distance between themselves and the relegation zone. Not the toughest games of the season, but important nevertheless.

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"1000-1 they had us at to win the title this year, 1000-1. Now if I know Russia like I know Russia they'll find a way to screw us out of it, but look at that table for a minute. Five games of 30 down, and little ol' Anzhi above Zenit, Spartak, CSKA, Rubin - these are special times."

He may have been exaggerating for effect, but he had a point.

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19 hours ago, ManUtd1 said:

Tremendous start to the season! 

 

5 hours ago, noikeee said:

Brilliant scenes in Makachkalkakaklkaka. Shades of the glory days of Roberto Carlos and Samuel Eto'o.

Makhachkala, it's simple - just imagine saying the word 'march' while being stabbed in the throat several times.

But yes, thanks guys, it's been a good start. However...

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"Not the best of months. One of the worst, in fact. Four pitiful points, out of the cup to bloody Orenburg, our only decent left-back in a wheelchair and Ozbiliz done for three months. Bloody brilliant.

"I'm not sure what's worse - the fact we lost to Ural at home, or Fakel away. It's been awful."

Valeri was not wrong. After five solid games to start the season, Anzhi had netted just three goals in the next five - and one of those only after Arsenal were reduced to 10 men. The dreams of Europe had been quickly extinguished.

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"Even so, still above Spartak. Can you believe they won the thing last year? They're an absolute disgrace, I hope they realise that."

Spartak were struggling, yes. But so were Anzhi, and that was a much bigger problem.

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"Well, well, well. This is an interesting one. On the one hand, it's a backward step in terms of country - I mean who the hell goes to Kazakhstan? On the other, they're the top team there, and without Europe there's a title to be had."

Valeri had received an offer. A very interesting offer. Astana, champions of Kazakhstan for the last six years, somehow found themselves in the bottom half with just three games to go.

What's more, they were in the cup semi-finals, and the Europa League group stage. 

And they were offering a transfer budget six times what he had been given at Anzhi, with more than double the wage bill.

But it was in Kazakhstan.

"Now you see, Anzhi have been good to me - putting me through the badges and things. But if they really wanted me, would some vanity project in Kazakhstan be able to give me six times the salary?"

There was also the mercenary question. It was a 500% pay rise as well as a real chance at a national title. 

What would Valeri do? What would YOU do?

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I'd be pretty torn. On one hand, I think it makes for a more interesting career to make a turn into a lesser country now, rather than making your name in Russia, because once you've nailed Russia there's nothing bigger to do in a Soviet save. On the other hand, most times I moved following the money, I've regretted it. Feels like buying rather than earning success.

I think I'd take the risk and move, worst case scenario you can leave Astana again if you're not feeling it.

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21 hours ago, noikeee said:

I'd be pretty torn. On one hand, I think it makes for a more interesting career to make a turn into a lesser country now, rather than making your name in Russia, because once you've nailed Russia there's nothing bigger to do in a Soviet save. On the other hand, most times I moved following the money, I've regretted it. Feels like buying rather than earning success.

I think I'd take the risk and move, worst case scenario you can leave Astana again if you're not feeling it.

 

16 hours ago, ManUtd1 said:

Ooh...tough call. But I vote for the Khazakhs. 

Khal Valeri! 

Thanks for the feedback chaps! I think you're right - on the one hand, Anzhi are a long way from title contenders and the money says move. On the other, if they were to get there, it would be pointless carrying on the save having won in Russia.

Also, what would a young, relatively inexperienced but massively self-confident young manager do if offered six times his salary at one of the country's dominant clubs?

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11 minutes ago, EvilDave said:

Also, what would a young, relatively inexperienced but massively self-confident young manager do if offered six times his salary at one of the country's dominant clubs?

Wait, Chelsea has offered you the position?

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"Of course I'm going. Anzhi have put me on the map, but they're still thinking small - survival, not success. Astana, now there's a place on the up, a city the government is behind, and a club winning things.

"Sure, dodging relegation by a point is no place for the defending champions, but we'll be back. You'll see."

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"Day one on the job. No staff at the club, no chance to meet the players, we aren't even in Kazakhstan for heaven's sake. How the hell are we supposed to play Fenerbahce under these circumstances? What did they expect?"

Valeri's debut did not go to plan.

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"Day four. Staff team mostly in place, players given the vision. At home, we only drew against these chumps. Away? No problem.

"Cup final with less than a week with the team. Ooooh yeah."

Taraz were no Fenerbahce, and Soldatkin was in a cup final. Not that he would have told you.

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13 minutes ago, Benjoe said:

I like this. The loss to Fener was clearly just to make teams underestimate you. You're cunning like that. 

 

Are you a graduate of the same management school? You may be onto something there...

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"I think I'm going to like it here. Chalk up another trophy on the record - Astana want their title back, and it starts here."

The cup final went to plan, eventually. Although Valeri would never mention it, he was pretty pleased with his first fortnight's work.

I'd be worried if I got a Kubogy though. Sounds difficult to shift.

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2 minutes ago, EvilDave said:

Are you a graduate of the same management school? You may be onto something there...

I'll never tell, all I'll say is that it works (almost) every time!

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"Right then, tail end of the first season over, and silverware to boot. Not to mention a draw away in Germany. Want to know how many Kazakh sides have managed that in the past?"

We know it's none, Valeri. Well done

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"Next year? Get rid of the moaners who don't want to play for the best club in Kazakhstan, bring in hungry, young, local talent to replace the whining foreigners, and find some willing pioneers from across the Union who want to establish a dynasty in the desert. Job done."

Sometimes, I worry about that man...

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18 hours ago, Koetzer said:

Probably the shortest time from appointment to the first trophy :D Good luck with Astana next season.

Thanks - I was pretty pleased with the cup win, a nice little bonus!

16 hours ago, Slipky said:

This is brilliant. What data packs are you using?

Thank you, glad you're enjoying things! I'm using claassen's data packs for all the non-playable leagues. I had the RFN update to open up the Russian third tier, but the league rules aren't accurate and so I switched them off after promotion.

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"Money, money, money. Is there nothing it can't do?

"One thing it can do is get you better facilities. It can also get you an absolute mountain of players."

Valeri was not kidding. Astana had been busy over the winter break, reshaping the entire squad.

"Useless old folk out the door first, then the whingers. In their place, all the Kazakhs we need to make sure we hit our homegrown quota and ensure there are barely enough decent players left to go around our rivals. We can still improve, but man we're a lot better than we were."

The key men in were still mainly foreigners, with one exception - goalkeeper Stas Pokatilov from arch-rivals and reigning champions Kairat. Also coming in were ex-Spartak Moscow and subsequent journeyman striker Vladimir Obukhov, and Ukrainian rock Vyacheslav Lukhtanov. They spent a fortune.

"I mean, what's the point of having the cash if you can't spend it. If the government board is stupid enough to blow half the GDP on a football team, I'm not going to stop them. 

"Besides, the first result proves me right."

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Valeri now has a Super Kubogy. In Australia, that gets you quarantined.

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"Kairat must be sick of us. I mean, what sort of champions get turned over in the Super Cup and again a week later? It's a sorry state of affairs when the loss of Andrei Kanchelskis throws your whole season off-balance.

"In the meantime, we're going well. Not quite perfectly, but pretty damn well. Were it not for a corrupt linesman taking a brown envelope before the Ordabasy game, we'd be flying. We'll just make sure we do them over next time."

Valeri was cold, calculating. His Astana side were untouchable at the back, shipping just three goals in eight games, but needed to cut down on the number of blanks fired at the other end. The Kazakh project was off to a good start.

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"A quarter of the way through, two off the top. We won't be off it for long, I tell you - this title's ours, rightfully ours. The government team in the capital city - well, it has to be, doesn't it?"

His bosses certainly thought that way. They were betting the house on him delivering. For the first time in his career, Valeri was expected to win by someone other than himself.

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"Three in a row without a sodding win - who are we, Kairat? Dumped out of the cup and firing blanks, it's a damn good job we're still at the right end of things otherwise there'd be hell to pay."

Valeri was not happy, despite generally positive results. Lowly Taraz had sprung a surprise in the cup, and at the halfway stage of the season there were still some concerns over the potency of his side's attack. Obukhov was a bust, spending more time on the treatment table than the pitch, and things remained finely poised.

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"So, now the World Cup and a bit of time off before the Europa League qualifiers. Let's be honest, it's a fortnight at best - everyone knows Kazakhstan are never going to make it to the World Cup. Still, better than a kick in the teeth I guess. Rest, regroup, go again. We need to win this thing."

So far, they were.

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"So, you're a huge international organisation and decide, in the face of overwhelming public pressure from across the globe, to strip your chosen host of the sport's most prestigious event - based on an appalling human rights record, lack of footballing history, unpredictable temperatures and political uncertainty.

"You're applauded the world over for your gesture, finally winning a PR battle you've been taking a beating in for decades. So, where do you relocate the tournament?

"Here's a hint, FIFA. Not China. Anywhere but China. Oh. Too late I guess."

Valeri's got a point.

"Anyway, the World Cup was both interesting and pointless. Not a single Soviet state represented - Russia came third to the Czechs in a two-horse qualifying race with Portugal - and Brazil, Germany, Holland and Argentina all dumped out of the groups.

"Then the knockouts - Iran in the last eight, Poland to the semi-finals, and Colombia winning the whole damn thing. There's hope for us all."

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I can't tell whether you're doing amazing for turning a team that was 10th last year into league leaders, or just alright by barely holding on to the lead with the biggest team in the country (I assume - never heard of anyone else other than Astana).

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14 minutes ago, noikeee said:

I can't tell whether you're doing amazing for turning a team that was 10th last year into league leaders, or just alright by barely holding on to the lead with the biggest team in the country (I assume - never heard of anyone else other than Astana).

I think it's more the latter than the former - 10th was an absolute aberration given six straight titles before that, and we were still predicted champions by the media. That said, they only won ran away with one of those six (14 points), so we shouldn't be storming off either!

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"Valeri's back, baby! Turns out that three-week break flicked the switch to awesome - Kazakhstan's never seen football like this!

"The title is ours - it simply has to be. Kairat are nowhere, Ordabasy are flakey, and Okzhetpes are at the wrong end of the table. Ten games out, we've got this one wrapped up."

Soldatkin had a point. A single defeat to Irtysh aside, his side had looked dominant - a 6-0 crushing of rivals Kairat the obvious highlight.

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"What's that, you want to talk about Europe do you? Specifically the Europa League? That tournament that's been lit up by little ol' Astana, smashing through the qualifiers with a perfect record? Oh well, where would you like me to begin?"

He may have mentioned it, but the Europa campaign had got off to a very good start, with wins over sides from Armenia, Lithuania, Cyprus and Sweden earning them a lucrative spot in the group stages. Sevilla, Besiktas and CSKA Moscow waited for them there, and things were about to get a whole lot tougher.

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"Did I mentioned we'd won the league? With six games to go? I just thought I'd remind you, in case you'd forgotten of course."

Yes, Valeri. You may have mentioned it once or twice...

"Anyway, not only did we win the title by a freakin' landslide, we broke the club points record and grabbed a couple more Europa League points to boot - yes, last in the group, but never outclassed. Next year, the Champions League needs to watch out."

Even despite a run of draws towards the end of the season, Astana romped home - that will happen when you only lose twice all year. Sevilla and CSKA were welcome points, and suggest Valeri's side might have it in them to spring a CL surprise or two next year.

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"The league table is just almost embarrassing. Kairat somehow skulked into second despite having a miserable year, but for us to win by 20 and the team in third to be closer to relegation - well, it shows you the mess football in this country is in.

"It's my job to make it even worse, and we've got the men to make it happen. Yes, Shomko is old, Dzholchiev can't go forever and Despotovic will slow down one day, but the kids have the potential to go even further. The future here is glorious Kazakh yellow. The country is ours."

The league win was by the biggest margin in Kazakh history, and with Astana's resources and the pull of CL football, it was easy to see the lure of the capital making them a dominant club. Valeri planned on sticking around to usher in that dominance - for now at least.

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"This is the year we put our foot down. The year we show that a good year for Astana is a 20-point title win, and a bad one still takes the league. That our backups beat the first team of every other club in this country. This is our year."

Valeri was on the warpath. A new contract secured, he was now set on cementing a legacy in Astana, establishing the basis of the Kazakh national team in the capital and using the club's vast financial resources to stockpile domestic talent. Sure, some of it could be loaned out, but ultimately it was his to do with as he pleased.

That meant nine more signings on the first day of the window, including three big midfield signings - Fedin and Aryntaev from Aktobe in a deal which would account for most of the country's entire transfer spend, and the free signing of former Russian international Pavel Mamaev. He meant business.

"It's already started. Kairat, cup winner and runners-up, champions before us, smashed.

"Yes, it was only one goal, but look at the stats. 26 shots on goal, Pokatilov didn't have a save to make. All the possession, all the chances, all the play. If we're dominant at this stage and against one of the better sides, I fear for those down the table."

The Super Cup clash went well, and Valeri had another Kubogy to add to his growing collection. It's still a stupid word though.

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