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Survivor: FM Edition


Guest roberto922

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Guest roberto922

Hello and welcome to Survivor: FM Edition. First off an apology, the show was cancelled for a month after the director was slapped too hard with a Salmon. Anyway onto the show, due to some unforeseen problems in Malaysia we're back in good old Blighty and the 12 contestants are ready to enter the jungle of... The CSE Survivor League. Every month the teams will be set challenges, these challenges will vary from month to month and will benefit each teams push for victory. As well as that there will be various awards which will contain financial rewards, the most lucrative monthly award being the winners of Manager of the month, this is worth a good chunk to the winner, we'll talk more about that later, first let's meet the teams. Grandad Barlow, over to you.

Note: Nothing said in this is serious, e.g if one of the presenters insults a guest it's meant as a joke not an insult.

First up it's Team London.

Contestant no.1 is Weeeman27bob, this peculiar young man apparently forgot how to spell wee but we'll forgive him for this in the interests of not boring you all into a stupor, Riley is a Liverpool fan, god help him but he's only 15 so there's still time to save him, apparently he's always in deep thought, or at least he thinks he is, will this help him or damage his bid for success? Only time will tell.

Next up is no.2 viperk1, what a daft name to give a child, this lad's even more worse off than weeman if that's possible, he supports Sheff Utd, ooh the youth of today have no taste. He seems to have prepared for today by issuing a statement of intent, when interviewed he said 'There is a time and place for victory, the time is now - the place is Europe' Let's hope he's right or he'll look like a bit of a plonker.

This years no.3 is Adam C. According to his profile he lives in heaven, jammy git, apart from that I know nothing about him other than that he has bugger all taste in football! These blog thingie me bobs are god awful! What's wrong with using those damn blasted z-mails...

''Apologies viewers, Grandad Barlow has gone off the boil, we're handing you over to James.''

Alright Merts! This is DJ Jamesy in the mix mother... oh it's not watershed yet? Anyway on with the show.

No.4 is a right sound bloke right, it's antfm08 from South London, that's a top name innit? antfm08 yeah top man, top. Aw get in there he's a Liverpool fan, Mon' the reds! He looks like he likes football like innit like la ked bud mert?

My last one before I go out on the **** coz I'm well hard mert. No. 5 is some fella that goes by the name of jod123, he's Irish! Come out on the **** with me mert I've got Guinness. Oh wait stuff that, he's into computer programming, posh git!

'Thank you James, is he off air? Thank God for that, he's awful. We'll be back after the break as we introduce Manchester.

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Guest roberto922

Hello and welcome back to Survivor: FM Edition, I'm your host Robert Jones and I will be guiding you through Team Manchester myself due to unforeseen circumstances.

El Sid has, worryingly, decided to call his group of players 'The Little Boys' yes that is right Boys, that terrifying word that men are too scared to mention for fear of accusations, I know what you're thinking but you're wrong he likes an older man (He's visiting Grandad Barlow in the hospital, god knows what he's doing) On slightly less controversial grounds, has stated that he currently occupies Jupiter, maybe he is rather strange....

Next up is Roberto922, I just can't figure out why that name sounds so familiar, he appears to be a fan of the retro kids show 'The Wombles as his location states 'I'm in the land of the Wombles on a march to the top' It's been there for months, how long is this march?!He has stated one of his interests as football, why, on a football oriented forum does everyone insist on putting football as a hobby? The only thing they're telling us is the one thing we know! Apparently he likes annoying Canvey, to be honest he's a brave man if he's going to take on a whole Island.

Our next competitor for Team Manchester is a young lad that goes by the name of Haowan, I would say more about him but he hasn't taken the time to write anything, ooh I hate that.

FC Mersey boss DantheMan is.... oh good god he's gone :eek: I would like to offer my condolences to his family in what must be a joyous occasion.

Last but not least is uusinjsh, did he just type random letters? He supports Tottenham! Hahahaha time for joke of the week. What has more points than Spurs? A triangle, square, well basically whatever shape you decide fits in best. Other than that he comes from Riga, Latvia, don't worry I've never heard of the place either.

Back in 3, don't go away. Who am I kidding? Nobodys watching.

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Guest roberto922

According to my tight arse producer we're taking up too much time and need to be off the air, here's a round up of our remaining 10 competitors.

Team Liverpool

The Lambs - Surely he'll be like a lamb to the slaughter? Do forgive me I couldn't resist.

Jayatsena - Founder of the Pandawa Limo Football groups, I'll pretend I know what Pandawa Limo means.

Blowcrapup - Seriously? What the **** do people get out of ****ing swearing? It's ****ing ridiculous! :mad:

Blanco - Even my comedic genius can't think of any jokes for Crowborough so I'll just crow on until you're bored.

Spawnisen - Is this boy the spawn of the devil? I think so.

Team Newcastle

tomsmith1989 - What in Gods name made him think that he could get away with calling his team Real Lygoodatfootball without me noticing the subliminal message saying how good his team is? He deserves a whack on the back with a Baseball bat for that terrible attempt at humour, you'd never catch me using crap jokes....

Rancer890 - Snapping turtles - Snapping turtles? Good god, someone call the RSPCA

Coldkohmew - Ninja Turtles - Are these the beasts that are snapping turtles? Better ask Ricky. What the hell is it about turtles?

robertlangman - Total Football FC - Oh come on! At least give me something to make a terrible joke about.

wayjo59 - Tttttteeeeerrrrrrroooooorrrrrrriiiiiiiiissssssssttttttttsssssss!!!!! Translated as: Terrorists!!!

Thank god that's over, I ran out of material after the first 5 :o Team previews coming up.

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Guest roberto922

Team London

Brargentina - Weeeman27bob

Squad

Assistant Manager

Team Info

Squad:

Hugo Lloris

Mamadou Sakho

Lionel Messi

Sergio Aguero

Henri Saivet

Bojan

Dewsbury Athletic - viperk1

Squad

Assistant Manager

Team Info

Squad:

Nils Wagner

Matthew Hunt

Laverne Reece

Damian Bryant

Bryan Robinson

Benjamin Grantham

Andrew Livesey

Alva Reece

Aaron Jackson

Aaron Hart

El Galacticos - Adam C.

Squad

Assistant Manager

Team Info

Squad:

Silky Winger

Midfield Wizard

Legendary Stopper

King of defense

Adam C.

Shiny New Team - Antfm08

Squad

Assistant Manager

Team Info

Squad:

Iker Casillas

Giorgio Chiellini

Francesc Fabregas

Fernando Torres

Cristiano Ronaldo

Team Ireland Football Club - Jod123

Squad

Assistant Manager

Team Info

Squad:

Padraig McCormack

Martin Ryan

Liam Walker

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I will do the Team Manchester, Liverpool and Newcastle tomorrow, hope you've enjoyed it so far, please leave feedback on what you like so far and what you'd like to see in the updates.

Robert.

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Contestant no.1 is Weeeman27bob, this peculiar young man apparently forgot how to spell wee but we'll forgive him for this in the interests of not boring you all into a stupor, Riley is a Liverpool fan, god help him but he's only 15 so there's still time to save him, apparently he's always in deep thought, or at least he thinks he is, will this help him or damage his bid for success? Only time will tell./QUOTE]

PMSL. Well thought out, and hugely funny. Although i think I can slpel nwo.

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LOL

Super updates roberto ! Really Enjoyed reading them ! KUTGW mate and hoping the see my "Little" squad soon :D

EDIT : Adam C's created players look class ! Either footed center back with 18 18 and 17 for heading marking and tackling ! And the striker looks good too ! Although a tad on the slow side but technically gifted !

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Guest roberto922

You're a female uus? I meant I hadn't heard of Riga. Thanks El Sid, the Team Manchester update should be up sometime soon and the Liverpool and Manchester after that, I'll most probably have to first update on as well by the end of the night.

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Guest roberto922

Team Manchester

The Little Boys - el sid

Squad

Assistant Manager

Team Info

Squad:

Goalie Little

Defendi Little

Midfieldi Little

Strikey Little

Multiple Scorgasms FC - Roberto922

Squad

Assistant manager

Team Info

Squad:

Ever Banega

Giovani Dos Santos

Manuel Neuer

Pato

Toni Kroos

Starzzz - Haowan

Squad

Assistant Manager

Team Info

Squad:

Ben Foster

David Beckham

Haowan

Thierry Henry

FC Mersey - DantheMan

Squad (He didn't have any players in the sign up thread)

Assistant Manager

Team Info

FK Kekava - uusinjsh

Squad

Assistant Manager

Team Info

Squad:

Daniel Alves

Edison Cavani

Federico Fazio

Igor Akinfeev

Ilsinho

Micah Richards

Robinho

Team Liverpool up next.

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Guest roberto922
Guest roberto922

Team Newcastle

Lygood - tomsmith1989

Squad

Assistant Manager

Team Info

Squad:

Leigh Harrison

Matthew Robson

Matthew Toyne

Sam Blakeley

Tom Smith

Snapping Turtles - Rancer890

Squad

Assistant Manager

Team Info

Squad:

Ricky Nakano

Robert Jones

Ninja Turtles - Coldkohmew

Squad - No players were selected

Assistant Manager

Team Info

Total Football FC - robertlangman

Squad

Team Info

Squad:

Bluas Nuembve

Cescnel Fabressi

Goals Ahdi Stophhsa

Havie Goala

Mas Jambini

Patricio Goales

Robert Langman

Wobill Luman Jr.

Wobill Luman

Blue Bombers - wayjo59

Squad - No players chosen

Assistant Manager

Team Info

Right then that's that over! I'll be doing the July update tomorrow and the first challenge should take place.

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Guest roberto922

July Update (Part 1)

First off I've got a couple of things to say to clear things up. First off apologies for the delays that have been heaped on each other, the delay in getting this sign up running was mainly due to my laptop being as injury prone as Louis Saha and the reason for it taking a couple of days to do all this stuff in here was because it took longer than I thought and I've had to do Coursework and various other pieces of homework as well as other things.

Now onto the game, one interesting thing I've realised is that when I deleted all the English Premiership sides the players went on to free transfers so all 20 CSE Survivor teams have been battling it out to sign them and it has given a benefit to the people that selected high rep with no team/ crap team, IMO this could make it alot more interesting in the long run and it has certainly made the transfer window more enjoyable for me so far. Next up is an apology to the Crowborough and Shiny New Team managers, I made a mistake whilst editing meaning that Crowboroughs Chris White didn't have a club, he then signed for Shiny and I had to take over Crowborough and temporarily set his rep to 0 to get him back to Crowborough, this is now sorted and everything is back to normal. Lastly before I get onto the update I thought I should note that I have taken over Barnsley in the Championship so that I can have a clearer overview of what's going on via shortlists and more regular news items, I went for Barnsley as they are one of the weakest teams in the Championships (The lowest league I selected) so they are unlikely to impact on the Sign up, I will not be managing them at all so they will be basically run by the Assistant. Now without further ado I will proceed with the acquisitions

Transfers - up to August 1st 2007

Team London

Brargentina - Weeeman27bob

New Manager: Vicente Del Bosque

New Players:

Claude Makelele - Free

Ryan Giggs - Free

Richard Dunne

Dewsbury Athletic - viperk1

New Manager: Sam Ellis

New Players: None as of yet.

Galacticos - Adam C

New Manager: Not yet appointed

New Players: None as of yet

Shiny New Team - antfm08

New Manager: Sir Alex Ferguson

New Players:

Paul Scholes - Free

Team Ireland - Jod123

New Manager: Arsene Wenger

New Players: None as of yet

Team Manchester

The Littlers - El Sid

New Manager: Steve Coppell

New Players: None as of yet

Multiple Scorgasms FC - Roberto922

New Manager: Not yet appointed

New Players:

Robert Green - Free

Gareth Bale - Free

Aaron Lennon - Free

John Arne Risse :mad: - Free

Peter Crouch :mad: - Free

Joe Cole - Free

John O'Shea - Free

Jamie Carragher :mad::mad: - Free

Steven Defour - £3.4 million

Starzzz - Haowan

New Manager: Jose Mourinho

New Players:

John Terry - Free

Ashley Cole - Free

FC Mersey - DantheMan

New Manager: Not yet appointed

New Players:

Frank Lampard - Free

Rio Ferdinand - Free

FK Kekava - uusinjsh

New Manager: Kevin Summerfield

New Players:

Alexandre Song - Free

Nigel Reo-Coker - Free

Michael ball - Free

Ryan Taylor - Free

Daniel Gabbidon - Free

Juan Pablo Rodriguez - 675k

Gary Cahill - Free

Team Liverpool

Alpha Males - The Lambs

New Manager: Not yet appointed

New Players: None as of yet. However they do have a 15 year old with a rather familiar name, meet Phillip Rolfe :-D

Pandawa Lima - jayatsena

New-ish Manager: Roland Nilsson (Promoted from Assistant)

New Players: None as of yet.

Blowcrapup - Blowcrapup

New Manager: Not yet appointed

New Players:

Zat Knight - Free

Ashley Young - Free

Joe Hart - Free

Kenny Miller - Free

Stephen Carr - Free

Crowborough - Blanco

New Manager: Not yet appointed

New Players:

Sylvain Distin - Free

Gary O'Neill - Free

Stewart Downing - Free

John Utaka - Free

FC Disoblige - Spawnisen

New Manager: Terry Burton

New Players: None as of yet

Team Newcastle

Lygood - tomsmith1989

New Manager: Not yet appointed

New Players:

Gael Clichy - Free

Snapping Turtles - Rancer890

New Manager: Not yet appointed

New Players:

Mikel Arteta - Free

Gareth Barry - Free

Wayne Rooney - Free

Jussi Jaaskelainen - Free

Stephen Ireland - Free

Ricardo Carvalho - Free

Darren Fletcher - Free

Jermaine Jenas - Free

Gilberto Silva - Free

Robbie Keane - Free

Scott Carson - Free

Lee Young-Pyo - Free

Joey Barton - Free

Ninja Turtles - Coldkohmew

New Manager: Frank Rijkaard

New Players:

Shay Given - Free

Jose Manuel Reina - Free

Total Football FC - robertlangman

No Changes

Blue Bombers - wayjo59

New Manager: Harry Redknapp

New Players:

Robin Van Persie - Free

Steve Finnan - Free

El Hadji Diouf - Free

Matt Derbyshire - Free

Stephen Warnock - Free

Steve Harper - Free

Curtis Davies - £4.8 million

Nwankwo Kanu - Free

Shunsuke Nakamura - £11.5 million

Ismael Aissati - £7.25 million

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

More to come tomorrow.

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Guest roberto922

Tell me about it :mad: I'm gonna write up the task and a couple of other parts to the July update later on, the August update will be fairly big as well but after that the only detail will be the tasks until we get to January which will be the next big update and then more tasks until the final end of season update. I'll explain more about the Awards and the tasks tomorrow, good to know you're all enjoying this, if you have any suggestions for other things to include or if you have any screenshot requests feel free to leave a comment and I'll get back to you tomorrow afternoon

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Guest roberto922

The tasks are all done in the game, you don't have to do anything apart from voting, deciding who gets the prize money etc.

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Guest roberto922

Good to know because the intro to the task is about to arrive, I've decided to leave the July update as not much has changed and I'll do a proper update for the end of January.

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Guest roberto922

Survivor: FM Edition Task 1

Hello and welcome to Survivor: FM Edition, I'm your step in host Michael Barrymore and will be hosting the tasks on my best *hic* behaviour. Now you've got to know the team mates it's time to make them suffer! Tonight sees us begin the feared tasks. Over the next two hours we will watch as players take kicks to the groinal area! The winner will be the contestant that takes the most kicks without falling down, after the task has finished the poor contestants will crawl back to camp (or in uusinjshs case walk on as if nothings happened) and await the verdict from the viewers as they decide who stays in. Great fun isn't it?

Now of course in the interest of not getting complaints, we did not plan on this being a task but apparently el sid decided that he would kick Ricky Nakano in the nuts, rancer then responded by snapping his turtle (called Sid) before kicking him back thus set off a competition!

Please don't go away at the break I beg you, I'm desperate for viewers as I'm a bit broke at the moment!

FM Task - Score the most league goals between August 1st and October 1st.

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Guest roberto922

Hello and welcome back to Survivor: FM Edition, my name is Michael Barrymore and if you're wondering why I'm wet, I've just been for a dip in the pool... (shifts about) ermm alone of course. Anyway back to the show, to keep it organized they arranged for a cameraman to do the kicking to keep it neutral. First up is Team London, I'll pass you over to Kevin 'The Rat' Ratcliffe.

Thanks Gaybo... sorry! Thank you Michael. We join the match at Weeeman27bobs 9th kick. The cameraman steps up to take the kick, what a shot! Weeeman is close to tears as he yells 'Ya lanky twat!' as loud as he can but regains his consciousness and takes kick numbers 10 and 11, just as our designated Kicker (called Hugh) stepped up to take the 12th shot Weeeman faints at the thought of another blow to the ball (not that type of blow you dirty minds!) and we move on.

Robert Jones: Hi Kevin, I just thought we could maybe talk about the awards for a bit whilst this is going on?

Kevin: Ermm yeah why not, I've gotta go moan about Everton and watch Ja-Jelka play.

Robert: Right then basically what will happen is that when a man.. ooh!! what a shot, stuff the awards back to Kevin as the tournament has finished!

We'll be back in an hour come back soon.

Hello my name is Robert Jones, you know the drill by now. Ok it's time for the vote count. Voting closes in 5.4.3.2.1 phonelines are closed please don't call in, if you do I'm afraid we will have to charge you £50.

Ok let's get this done. Haowan you are...

haowan: Oh good god please don't evict me!

Robert: Ahem, you are... safe!

Roberto922, Rancer890 and Jod123, you feeling nervous?

Roberto922: Nah!

Rancer890: Yes :D :D

Jod123: Nope, I made a programme using Java which predicted that I wouldn't get kicked out.

Robert: Okay, you've no need to be, you are all safe!

Rancer890: Whoo!!!!!!! (snaps a turtles head off)

Robert intercepts: If you would like to call the RSPCA please call on this number: 0300 1234 999

Anyway back to the show, weeeman27bob, Adam C and el sid. Surely you can't all be safe too? Oh maybe you can! Well done you are still in the game.

DantheMan, Uusinjsh, The Lambs, jayatsena... god I'm out of breath saying that! One question first, are you all still in pain?

All but uusinjsh respond with a mournful yes whilst uusinjsh giggles and shouts 'No!'

Anyway you are all still in!

wayjo59 and tomsmith1989 you are both safe! This leaves us with just 6 contestants. It's time to reveal who are up for eviction and who YOU will be voting out.

Robert Langman, Spawnisen, Blanco, blowcrapup and antfm08.......... you are all safe! Congratulations.

This leaves us with coldkohmew and viperk1 , one of you will be punished by your team because whoever receives the most votes by 6pm tomorrow will be fined £5 million and your facilities halved for the next month. We will be back for the punishment tomorrow, make sure you're here, thank you and goodnight.

League Table

Dewsbury - Viperk1

Ninja Turtles - coldkohmew

Note: I've only included the goals scored and the team name to keep you guessing on your league positions.

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Guest roberto922

Yes you do, PM me, I'm going to PM everyone in a minute to tell them as there is at least 10 people that haven't posted yet.

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Guest roberto922

And now onto the awards.

Manager of the Month:

August: Sir Alex Ferguson - Shiny

September: Harry Redknapp - Bombers

antfm08 and wayjo59 (as he's my dad I can do it for him, with his consent ofc) can choose from whatever they want out of the list provided below for their team or a team within their group.

Stadium increase of 5,000

Reputation increase of 200

Training facilities +2

Youth Facilities + 2

+2 years on any players contract.

Player of the month:

August: Wobill Luman - TFFC

September: Defendi Little - Littlers

Same as manager of the month except el sid and robertlangman have less to choose

Stadium increase of 2,500

Reputation increase of 100

Training facilities +1

Youth Facilities + 1

+1 year on any players contract.

TASK 1 Winners prizes

1st Place: Blanco - Prize Money: £15 million + 3 league points*

2nd Place: The Lambs - Prize Money: £10 million + 2 league points*

3rd Place: antfm08 - Prize Money: £5 million+ 1 league point*

The league points will be added using FMRTE.

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Guest roberto922

I'll tell you tomorrow when I load the game back up (I'll probably have the January update anyway) If anyone else has any special requests or reccomendations feel free to post them and I'll get back to you on it.

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