ManUtd1 Posted September 29, 2018 Author Share Posted September 29, 2018 21 minutes ago, rodesire said: As a fraud to fraud, drop down to Europa League group stages for a season. Collect 6 easy wins and then rampage through knockouts for all the free coefficient. Yeah, that wouldn't be a bad thing at all. We're just at a point where I want to be fighting in the Champions League. Not that we can't win the whole thing as a 4th seed, it'd just make progression a bit easier! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted September 29, 2018 Author Share Posted September 29, 2018 Good men don't become legends. FK Partizan Beograd -- October 2027 A tough draw at home to West Ham on Matchday 1. We controlled the 1st half, they controlled the 2nd. A fair result, but we had our chances. In Belgium we made no such mistakes. Clinical. Efficient. Ruthless. 3 points on the road, nothing to be upset about at all. The two upcoming matches against Ze Smurfs will determine our fate... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted September 29, 2018 Author Share Posted September 29, 2018 I wouldn't sell that bald fraud a virus. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted September 29, 2018 Author Share Posted September 29, 2018 Ok, so Bobby Manc was sacked...the Midget Beast took over...and then urCristiano stepped in (leaving from Bremen) when Messi left for Dortmund?! Germany is officially insane. 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fer Fuchs Ake Posted September 29, 2018 Share Posted September 29, 2018 5 minutes ago, ManUtd1 said: Ok, so Bobby Manc was sacked...the Midget Beast took over...and then urCristiano stepped in (leaving from Bremen) when Messi left for Dortmund?! Germany is officially insane. Midget Über Alles? 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted September 29, 2018 Author Share Posted September 29, 2018 2 minutes ago, Fer Fuchs Ake said: Midget Über Alles? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted September 29, 2018 Author Share Posted September 29, 2018 Good men don't become legends. FK Partizan Beograd -- November 2027 A nightmare in Germany. We gift the Smurfs 3 goals to start, and cannot dig ourselves out from the deep hole. Brutal. We outplayed them all match, but simply could not recover. Revenge was on our minds for Matchday 4, back in Belgrade. A win would give us the inside track for qualification... An early goal, as Ansah drives into the box and cuts back for Cvejic, who gathers his own rebound for a 1-nil lead. Cvejic then pounced on a loose ball in Ze Smurfs' backfield to double our lead. This is what we needed...a win, and the tiebreaker. Nilsson claimed our third at the hour-mark, with Cvejic having missed several chances to claim his hat trick. In all fairness, Strakosha was immense for the visiting ****s. He couldn't keep out a header from Stamenkovic, though, our 4th on the night...with sub Idrizovic claiming a brace over the following 10 minutes. We're sending out a warning across the continent tonight, lads...but then see that West Ham have fired six past Genk. Game on, ****s. 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted September 30, 2018 Author Share Posted September 30, 2018 (edited) It's true I don't know much about the players here, but they definitely know who I am. FK Partizan Beograd / Sweden -- November 2027 I must admit...I've missed managing a national side. So when Sweden came calling, I couldn't say no. Especially when Zlatan himself called, asking that I take the job. I promised I would, but only if he'd be on my staff to help offset the challenge of managing both Partizan and Sweden. Zlatan with the Swedes, Drake with Partizan. What could go wrong? Edited September 30, 2018 by ManUtd1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
oriole01 Posted September 30, 2018 Share Posted September 30, 2018 #PARTIALLYSTOMPEDTHESMURFS 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted September 30, 2018 Author Share Posted September 30, 2018 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted September 30, 2018 Author Share Posted September 30, 2018 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted September 30, 2018 Author Share Posted September 30, 2018 Slovenia? Ok, then. Not the worst draw, that "16th" ranking is misleading...they finished 3rd in Group A, behind Portugal and Hungary, for urCristiano's sake. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted September 30, 2018 Author Share Posted September 30, 2018 (edited) It's true I don't know much about the players here, but they definitely know who I am. FK Partizan Beograd / Sweden -- December 2027 A massive win on a big night in London. Payback for last year's elimination in the 1st knockout round. Claim to the tiebreaker for this year's Group Stage, as we'll both enter the final matchday level on 10 points. A clutch performance in every respect. Claimed a seeded position for the knockout round draw is within our grasp... Provided, of course, that we stand tall against Genk in Belgrade... The early minutes have few fireworks, but word from Germany rapidly spreads through the crowd. Schalke have taken an early lead...and minutes later we do the same, Ciric burying from close range. The energy coursing through the stadium is infectious. Schalke claim a second and go into the half up 2-nil. Dabo is sent off for Genk just before the hour, with Kovacevic scoring our 2nd moments later. In the end we run out 3-nil winners and win the Group outright, West Ham's 92nd-minute equalizer utterly meaningless. Everything is coming up Partizan. The Itchy Kitty is going to be lit tonight. Edited September 30, 2018 by ManUtd1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted September 30, 2018 Author Share Posted September 30, 2018 More than anything, I wanted to square off against the Bald **** at Chelsea. But it wasn't to be. Celta. An intriguing draw, no doubt. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted September 30, 2018 Author Share Posted September 30, 2018 Ouch. We'll have to qualify as one of the top 2nd place teams, because we aren't getting past France. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted September 30, 2018 Author Share Posted September 30, 2018 I almost want to call Tasos up, just because his name is so amazing. 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted September 30, 2018 Author Share Posted September 30, 2018 (edited) Swedish style? No. Yugoslavian style? Of course not. It has to be Zlatan-style. FK Partizan Beograd / Sweden -- March 2028 Away to Celta, an opportunity to steal a march in our first competitive match after the winter break. Ansah gives us an all-important away goal -- and the lead -- in the 24th. which Ciric doubles in the 37th. The Galicians manage to pull one back late, but we leave Spain with an all-important lead. In the 2nd leg, Celta start off on the front foot, scoring in the 16th minute. Not acceptable...and we up our game, Nilsson firing home off an assist from Skenderija, who has been promoted to the 1st XI. We're in complete control by halftime, just needing another goal to finish the Galicians off. The goal comes in the 62nd, through sub Antic, firing home after a beautiful cross from Ansah. Kovacevic grabs our third on the night in the 72nd, and we begin to look towards the quarterfinals...losing our focus for a minute to allow Celta a lifeline, until Kovacevic fires home his 2nd, closing the door for good. A comprehensive win over the two legs. As the draw approaches, one thing is clear -- we want that fraudulent, bald **** at Chelsea. But we draw Lionel Messi's Dortmund, who sit atop the Bundesliga. Bring it, you short ****. Edited September 30, 2018 by ManUtd1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted September 30, 2018 Author Share Posted September 30, 2018 Swedish style? No. Yugoslavian style? Of course not. It has to be Zlatan-style. FK Partizan Beograd / Sweden -- March 2028 Slovenia in March...didn't see this coming. But we went into the match, fighting like hell for a spot in Italy this summer. And we romped. Zlatan was confident, but he's always confident. Then, a one-off match with Georgia in Stockholm, for a ticket to the "final?" Ok, then. Does anyone not qualify for the Euros these days? Aside from Slovenia and Georgia. Obviously. It was a good 1st week with the side (I deputized Zlatan for the January friendly against Denmark in Hong Kong...really need to figure out who's 'brilliant' idea that was). Lindelof coming back out of retirement was a big, big deal -- he gave us some strength in the back, a cool head...especially with all the youth that were called up. Being able to cap Maenpaa was a big deal...those sneaky Finns were bound to tap him up soon enough. Gunnerud was a surpise call-up...but I'm shocked we have no decent left backs beyond Ludwig, who is already 33. A good 1st week? Naw, it was great. But for now we go back to Belgrade...Dortmund is on the horizon. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted September 30, 2018 Author Share Posted September 30, 2018 Swedish style? No. Yugoslavian style? Of course not. It has to be Zlatan-style. FK Partizan Beograd / Sweden -- April 2028 The first leg in Germany...God, Messi is short in real life. Genuinely. If you put a coaster on top of his head, he could hold my beer. The first half is an absolute battle...back and forth, hard fought. We break the deadlock just before the whistle blows for halftime, Cvejic smashing home from close range after the ball pinged around the box on a corner. Dortmund pulled one back through El Tri legend and World Cup winner Garza...but then we took the lead back off a set piece, Cvejic lofting into the box for Jovic to rise and head to the back post. The final whistle blows and we've walked away with one of the biggest wins in Partizan history. We're 90 minutes from the semifinal. Before we can get there, we've got two SuperLiga matches to navigate, the 1st XI plays the first on 2 days' rest, the 2nd XI the second...meaning the 1st XI have a little down-time before the 2nd leg. The Euro draw follows...and we're properly f***ed. The Dutch, Scots and Croats. At least -- like in qualifying -- virtually no one is eliminated at the Group Stage. There aren't enough hours in the day, I swear. But now our focus is back to Dortmund...90 minutes. At home. In the 24th, Cvejic takes the match by the scruff of the neck, dribbling 30 yards past 3 Dortmund players to fire past Gonzalez from 20 yards. Brilliant. Messi is incensed, screaming at the 4th official on the sideline, claiming there was a foul in the build-up...I walk over to argue our point, and the little **** squares up to me. It is surreal. It's like being yelled at by a toddler. I hold my hand out, even with my head, then over his, measuring our height difference...he loses it. Utterly. The Dortmund support staff have to pull him away as we all laugh hysterically at his tiny, impotent rage...the stadium is rocking, a fever dream. We're 2 goals up on aggregate, with just over an hour to play. Could a semifinal truly be on the horizon?! When Cvejic finds his 2nd in the 37th, the party well and truly begins. Messi is on his knees in his technical area, crying like a little **** as flares are set off throughout the stadium, the riot police wading in to protect the traveling German support. It is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. Cvejic finds his hat trick in the 51st. And to think there were doubters when we sold Seth Dickson last year. Who's laughing now, you utter thunder****s?! Cvejic turns provider 5 minutes later, feeding Milanovic. Cvejic is subbed, he's earned this moment -- thunderous applause raining down on him, flares alight, the riot police beaten into submission, the German supporters fleeing for the nearest exits with more than 20 minutes to play. None of them remain to see Werner's consolation goal. Messi doesn't even get up off the bench...he's just staring into the middle distance like a lost little child. This is the finest display of my tenure. If we play like this, we can do anything. No one can stop us. We draw Philip Cocu's Milan in the semifinal, after the Italians held their nerve to see off Eddie Howe's Bayern on penalties. Mourinho's United will face Ancelotti and West Ham in the other semifinal. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fer Fuchs Ake Posted October 1, 2018 Share Posted October 1, 2018 7 hours ago, ManUtd1 said: Eddie Howe's Bayern Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted October 1, 2018 Author Share Posted October 1, 2018 6 hours ago, Fer Fuchs Ake said: Exactly why I include that kind of info! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted October 1, 2018 Author Share Posted October 1, 2018 Swedish style? No. Yugoslavian style? Of course not. It has to be Zlatan-style. FK Partizan Beograd / Sweden -- April 2028, Champions League Semifinal (1st Leg) Milan. We'll start tonight playing on the counter, as we expect them to come at us pretty hard. The first real chance of the match comes on the counter in the 8th minute, with Skenderija crossing to Ansah at the back post, who heads off the bar and over. We're looking sharp. The breakthrough comes in the 24th minute, as we force a turnover in midfield and launch forward at pace, Milanovic feeding Cvejic...who buries it from 12 yards, firing past a helpless Donnarumma. Just when Milan seemed to be getting their sea legs. An ideal start at the San Siro. It was nearly 2, just a few short minutes later, as Ansah centered to find Cvejic with space, 8 yards from goal...but he heads straight at Donnarumma, who clutches the ball gratefully. The would have been a shiv in the kidneys, for sure. Donnarumma stands tall to deny Nilsson a few minutes later. Right now, the lanky Italian is the only thing keeping Milan in the tie. Free kick to Milan in the 40th, just inside our half. Lofted to the back post, Echesuri rises to clear, Ansah picks up the ball and pushes down the left flank...relentless, he drives towards the Milan box, centering for Milanovic, who buries it. 2-nil. The visiting support have begun to party in earnest now, lofting flairs down on Cocu...be careful, there, his hair product appears highly flammable. At halftime, it is hard to avoid the feeling that we've got one foot in Munich already, a date at the Allianz. But there is a lot of football to be played. Milan's first meaningful chance comes in the 55th minute when El Mhasanni curls one off the far post, after Vodicka had punched a cross clear. But the danger passes. Tick tock for the Italians. And in the 59th minute, we truly begin to dream...Ansah intercepts in our defensive third, taking two touches before playing Ciric in behind the Milan defense...Ciric centers for Bojan who casually directs the ball past a helpless Donnarumma. If this result holds...barring a monumental collapse in Belgrade, we'll be playing in the final. 30 long minutes to play. And just minutes later, Milan's fate is sealed. Another turnover in midfield. Another counterattack. Cvejic turning provider, driving down the sideline before cutting inside and finding Ciric darting to the near post, one step ahead of the defender, for an easy tap-in. 4-nil. Ruthless. Clinical. In the final minutes, we are in complete control. We miss 2 chances to extend our lead, but when the final whistle blows the air at the San Siro is filled only with the sounds of our traveling support. We're 90 minutes from the final. But before we can play the return leg, we have to navigate 2 Super Liga matches. 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
kidthekid Posted October 1, 2018 Share Posted October 1, 2018 incredible result. I have to look at your squad review again, that Ansah guy seems like a Ghanaian Marcelo Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted October 1, 2018 Author Share Posted October 1, 2018 21 minutes ago, kidthekid said: incredible result. I have to look at your squad review again, that Ansah guy seems like a Ghanaian Marcelo He's immense. A cross between Marcelo and Drogba. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted October 1, 2018 Author Share Posted October 1, 2018 Swedish style? No. Yugoslavian style? Of course not. It has to be Zlatan-style. FK Partizan Beograd / Sweden -- May 2028, Champions League Semifinal (2nd Leg) 90 minutes from the final. Everything we've done here in Belgrade has built to this point. A triumphant 2nd leg in front of our home support. A party set to kick off as soon as we vanquish the Italians. If we progress, we'll face Mourinho's United. In the 3rd minute, a short corner from Nilsson to Ciric...to Cvejic, who buries it at the near post. 6 nil on aggregate. Notwithstanding the 87 minutes left to play, the party kicks off in earnest in the stands. Milan need 5. Nilsson's goal in the 37th sets off a barrage of fireworks from the top of the stands, leading the riot police to wade in...but it's all good fun, innit? And wen Cvejic scores not 2 minutes later, the riot police give up and join the celebration. This will be a night to remember, no doubt. Echesuri adds to Milan's humiliation on the hour, with a free header off a Nilsson corner. 4-nil, 8 on aggregate. Lads, we're going to Munich. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted October 1, 2018 Author Share Posted October 1, 2018 Just Jose doing Jose things. Jean wouldn't stand for it. Kickoff is imminent, with a live recap. 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted October 1, 2018 Author Share Posted October 1, 2018 2028 Champions League Final - Allianz Arena, Munich "Welcome to Munich, ladies and gentlemen. Here with Jamie Carragher, I'm Gary Neville and this is the night of nights...the biggest moment in a season of moments, as the mighty Red Devils take on the plucky underdogs, Partizan of Belgrade." "Moment in a season of...what kind of nonsense was that, Gary? You're not right in the head, mate. A big night, no question, but that just made no sense. Take off your United-tinted glasses and have a good think, brah." "It really boils down to this -- the managerial nous of Mourinho, long-since proven on the field, versus the brash upstart, the French-Hungarian...whatever. He's an unproven felon, who best belongs--" "Unproven?! He won a World Cup not 2 years ago with Mexico, for Saint Keegan's sake?! Especially in big matches, this counterattacking syst--" "I don't rate that at all, Jamie. No. Not one bit. The World Cup was a one-off. Luck. Nothing more." "You off your meds, Gar?! I can't believe I'm hearing this. Biased **** says what?!" "What?! Stop mumbling, Jamie. You sound like an idiot." "And you smell like cheese." Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
kidthekid Posted October 1, 2018 Share Posted October 1, 2018 1 hour ago, ManUtd1 said: He's immense. A cross between Marcelo and Drogba. Wow, then you add in his aerial ability and dead ball delivery ability for good measure. Surprised he doesn't play got Ghana. Or maybe Ghana plays with fullbacks and no wingers. 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted October 1, 2018 Author Share Posted October 1, 2018 Tweet! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted October 1, 2018 Author Share Posted October 1, 2018 "WHAT A CRUNCHING TACKLE FROM POGBA-LAD, HE'S A BEAST, I TELL YOU!" "Can you stop shouting, Gary? I'm certain everyone can hear you." "KANE TWIRLING LIKE A MAJESTIC BALLERINA, HE FINDS... YES... DEMBELELELELELELELELELELELELE!!!!!! OOOOAOAAAAHHHUUUUAAHHNNNSNNNNNNSSSSSRRRRRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" "Gary...no...pants...back on....Gary....I must...insist..." "BWWWAAALLLDDDRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!" Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted October 1, 2018 Author Share Posted October 1, 2018 "I have to say, the opening stages have been all United, Gary. If you could...please...just...take your pants off of your head for a minute, Gar. This is...unbecoming." [Gary moaning incoherently.] "Gary...GARY! What would Sir Alex say?!" [Moaning continues.] "Well, folks...let's be clear. Bleu's Partizan need to get their act together. If only to stop whatever...this...is...that Gary is up to." Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted October 1, 2018 Author Share Posted October 1, 2018 "30 minutes in and Partizan, much to their credit, have refused to give up. They've battled back and, yes...now Bleu is on the touchline with his assistant Drake. They're giving elaborate hand signals to the players...not sure which one..." "I'm pretty sure Drake just...oh, yeah, he did." "One of them must be a decoy...the other, relaying the actual instructions. Looks like Partizan is taking a more aggressive touch. And, yes, Gary, I'm pretty just Drake just handed Mourinho a plastic shopping bag of loose hot dogs and large jug of lemonade. The symbolism is...well, Jose does not look pleased, let's just say that. He's...yeah, he's thrown the hot dogs back at Drake and now the 4th official has intervened." Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted October 1, 2018 Author Share Posted October 1, 2018 (edited) "Mourniho and Drake have both been ushered back to their respective technical--" "Mourniho?! Show some respect. That Drake is bang out of order, Jamie. Who does he think he is?!? Not fit to place the mustard on Jose's hot dog, he isn't. Oh, lads...come on..." "Yes, that's Cvejic, sprung behind the United back line..." Edited October 1, 2018 by ManUtd1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted October 1, 2018 Author Share Posted October 1, 2018 "BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!" "Gary...can you just offer some insight instead of laughter?! Talk about out of order..." "Jamie...Jamie...he kicked it...like...20 meters high and at least 8 wide...it's funny, like..." "Not as funny as your white, chicken legs, you ****. Put your pants back on." Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted October 1, 2018 Author Share Posted October 1, 2018 "Halftime here, and full credit to the Serbians. They were stunned by Dembele's early strike but refused to wilt under the pressure and have battled back into the match. Gary, what do you thi-- Gary?!" "Be right back, Jamie, need another Stella..." "I don't think that more Stella is the answer, Gary. I was going to ask for you thoughts on what's going on in the locker rooms, but seeing as how you're--" "Yeah, welll, that's obvious. Jose is waving his magic **** around, like the man he is. U-N-I-T-E-D, UNITED ARE THE TEAM FOR ME..." "Can someone...yes, thank you. My apologies, ladies and gentlemen, Gary's off...for another refreshment. His bluetooth mic is out of range for..." [A soft moan, followed by the sound of splashing liquid follows. A shocked look crosses Jamie's face as the producers cut to Joey Barton on the sideline, for his input into the sartorial aspects of tonight's clash.] Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted October 1, 2018 Author Share Posted October 1, 2018 "United looking dangerous in the opening minutes of the second half, as Kane heads just over at the near post..." [A strong beating sound is heard, as Jamie turns to look at the door to the media room. A muffled shout filters through.] "Oi! Jamie you f***ing ****, you locked me out, mate. Not cool, brah." Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted October 1, 2018 Author Share Posted October 1, 2018 "Welcome back, Gar...not sure how that door got locked, you know. Must've tripped the latch on the way out at half, eh?" "**** off, Jamie. Look at little Johnny Bleu, yeah? Down there waving his arms. With that hipster beard...hahahaha...I just realized, his chin!" [A pained expression crosses Jaime's face.] "What about it, Gar...his chin? What does that have to do with anything?" "Nothing, really His chin, the dimple...it just looks like badly-shaved bollocks if you squint a little, yeah?" [Jamie looks stunned.] "I have more questions about that observation than-- I mean, that's hardly appropriate." "Jamie, lad, if I wanted your opinion, I'd beat it out of you." "You're embarrassing yourself, Gary." "Hah!!! As if. I have yet to begin embarrassing myself, Jamie." "Just...enough...Gary. Jean appears to be urging his men forward, to get more aggressive. Time is running out." Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted October 1, 2018 Author Share Posted October 1, 2018 "Looks like...yes...Idrizovic and Antic will come on, to replace the tiring Nilsson and Ciric. Lots of time remaining, but Partizan need to be ruthless now." "Who are these guys? Idriz-- whatever, not gonna be scoring on MY UNITED!!! Not tonight. Pants off, United win. It's a proven fact." "Gar, I'm done asking you nicely. Please...just put them back on." "Can't do that, Jamie. Bad luck, innit?!" Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted October 1, 2018 Author Share Posted October 1, 2018 "DAVIS STANDING STALL IN THE UNITED GOAL!!! AND THE UNITED FANS SING OUT, WON'T YOU TAKE ME TO, CRAIG DAVIS TOOOOOWWWN, WON'T YOU TAKE ME DOWN...CRAIG DAVIS TOWN!!!" "Big save, indeed, from the English international--" [Gary continues to sing at the top of his voice, to the tune of Lipps Inc.'s FunkyTown.] "GOT TO MOVE TO A TOWN THAT'S RIGHT FOR ME!!!" "Can we please..." [Gary's mic is suddenly quiet, although you can continue to hear him singing in the background, through Jamie's mic.] "If you're Jean Bleu, you have to wonder...was that our last and best chance?!" [Muffled singing continues.] "WON'T YOU TAKE ME TO...CRAIG DAVIS TOWN?!" Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted October 1, 2018 Author Share Posted October 1, 2018 "With 10 minutes to play, it's last chance saloon for Partizan...one final change coming up..." [Gary continues to work his way through the United songbook, now singing a new song that boasts about Jose Mourinho's rumored sexual pecadillos, to the tune of Ed Sheeran's "Make It Rain."] Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted October 1, 2018 Author Share Posted October 1, 2018 "After some delay, it looks like...yes, Stamenkovic is coming on to replace Milanovic, with Idrizovic pushing forward..." "Bet Johnny-boy down there wishes he had Marouane F***ing Fellaini to throw on, yeah??!!" Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted October 1, 2018 Author Share Posted October 1, 2018 "There will be 3 minutes of stoppage time..." "THREE MINUTES?! THAT'S UTTER GARBAGE, REF!!! YOU F***ING ******, PIECE OF--" "GARY!!! FOR THE LAST TIME, PUT ON YOUR...oh, and...yes, here comes Idrizovic...surging forward..." Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted October 1, 2018 Author Share Posted October 1, 2018 "Looks to play Antic in behind the backline, Sweeney lets it run and plays a long ball back the other way..." "Garbage football, that. Just shocking stuff. They need Fellaini. Full stop. Lob it to the big fella...I mean, have you seen his chest?! Massive. Chisled, like." [Jamie tries desperately to ignore Gary.] Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted October 1, 2018 Author Share Posted October 1, 2018 "YOU HAVE TO HIT THE TARGET, POGBA-LAD!!! THAT'S WHY JOE-SAY NEVER MADE YOU CAPTAIN AGAIN, YOU ... YOU HAIRCUT!!!" "Gary, he's been United's vice-captain for nearly a decade, won countless titles, I don't think this is the time or place--" 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted October 1, 2018 Author Share Posted October 1, 2018 "Partizan are pushing forward with everything they've got...but each attack dies on a Red shore, like the waves off the coast of South Africa, meeting an impenetrable--" "THAT'S THE WHISTLE!!! JOSE F***ING MOURINHO, HE IS OUR PERVY HERO!!!" [The signal is abruptly cut, as the producers switch to Joey Barton, rushing to interview goal-scorer Dembele.] Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted October 1, 2018 Author Share Posted October 1, 2018 (edited) Gutted. That's the only word for it. Drake looks bizarrely serene...looking on at the United families as they cavort on the pitch with the players. "What's got you so happy, you ****?!" I demand. "Well...Ambrosini's family..." "How do you know them?!" "I don't." "So...what gives?" "His sister, the model...thought maybe she'd be here." I rack my brain for a minute, before it dawns on me. "Alessandra Ambrosio?!" His eyes light up. "Yeah, have you seen her about?!" "They aren't related, you idiot. We just lost the ****ing Champions League. Act accordingly." Edited October 1, 2018 by ManUtd1 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted October 1, 2018 Author Share Posted October 1, 2018 1 hour ago, kidthekid said: Wow, then you add in his aerial ability and dead ball delivery ability for good measure. Surprised he doesn't play got Ghana. Or maybe Ghana plays with fullbacks and no wingers. Don't know what to tell you. Under Albert Adomah, they're playing 433 like utter and complete frauds, with these two at LB. Bonkers. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
kidthekid Posted October 1, 2018 Share Posted October 1, 2018 I knew that had to be the reason. I've had that happen in a save before, it kinda rules the realism because surely he would be in the team one way or the other. Not that it matters though. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted October 1, 2018 Author Share Posted October 1, 2018 10 minutes ago, kidthekid said: I knew that had to be the reason. I've had that happen in a save before, it kinda rules the realism because surely he would be in the team one way or the other. Not that it matters though. Yeah. It's annoying and bizarre. He gets called up to the U23s now, but that's all so far. The guy is legitimately amazing. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted October 1, 2018 Author Share Posted October 1, 2018 Just for those of you who might be interested, this is Craig Davis, the keeper that got Gary all hot and bothered, along with Kane, Pogba and Dembele. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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