It sounds like you're just picking different options and formations at random, which isn't the best path to take. You also say you don't have much knowledge of FM tactics. You might want to take some time to "book up" on the better tactical articles. I would especially recommend Cleon's Art of Defending and anything by Rashidi (who also posts videos on You Tube under the title of Bust the Net).
You don't mention what version of FM you're playing. Based on your OP, it doesn't look like FM23. I used to despise the 4-2-3-1, too, but came to like it playing FM22 when I took over a squad that was well suited to it at Lazio. Prior to that, I usually played the 4-1-2-3 against it, and if my opponent was much better than my side, I made sure my DM was set to the Halfback role. I found that spread my backs a tad wider, cutting down on the space in which the opposing wingers had to operate. But with Lazio, I tended to play the 4-2-3-1 against all comers, including the 4-2-3-1. Playing a strong pressing game tended to keep them off-balance. But the important thing is to pay close attention to HOW teams playing the 4-2-3-1 are beating you: wing play, killer passes, crossing to a target man, long balls over the top? The answer will give you a hint as to how to defend against it.