[FM 18] If You're Not First, You're Last (Re-Redux) - Redemption for the "Nearly Men" of Europe

[ManUtd1]

I didn't injure you on purpose and you know that. If you accuse me again I'll break both your legs, and that time it will be on purpose.

FK Partizan Beograd / Sweden -- 2027/28 Review

An incredible year.  Domestically, we claimed another League/Cup Double.  We haven't lost a domestic match since November 2025.  We've won 42 straight Super Liga matches, scoring a record 137 goals this year, while tying last year's record for least goals conceded (12).

The only title that has eluded us is on the European stage.  This coming year, at least, we will have automatic entry in the Group Stage...where we'll sit, in terms of seeding, has yet to be determined.

There is little we can realistically do to improve this side.  The 1st XI is as ready as can be.  The 2nd XI is strong, and I'm hoping to involve some young Swedes over the coming year...  While one would think we've accomplished all one can in Serbia, the bottom line is this -- we can do one better.  We can bring the Champions League trophy back to Belgrade.  And we're not leaving Belgrade until we do.

Goals for 2027/28: Extend our domestic unbeaten streak.  Win the Champions League.

Squad|League Overview|Finances Overview|Income Detail|Expenditures Detail|Transfers

Super Liga Fixtures (Prelim. Phase)|Super Liga Fixtures (Final Phase)|Kup Srbije Fixtures|Champions League Fixtures

Champions League Review

This is thoroughly documented above.  United win their 2nd consecutive title under Mourinho.  Brutal.  Cvejic had one heck of a year, though -- top goalscorer.  Good lad.

Before the next season kicks off I'll do a full-blown squad review.

 

Challenge Overview

Edited October 1, 2018 by ManUtd1

[ManUtd1]

Ok, I only have time for a super-quick glance at Europe, where clubs did things that clubs do.  Games.  Winning.  Losing.  Relegation.  Cabbage.  Etc.

       

 

[HawkAussie]

Wow I have fallen behind and now you are in Sweden, well this story has turned.

[oriole01]

Breathtaking season with Partizan... I certainly wasn't expecting you to make it all the way to the final already. Too bad you couldn't figure United out, but I bet you'll be back with a vengeance next season.

[ManUtd1]

 

 

[ManUtd1]

1 hour ago, HawkAussie said:

Wow I have fallen behind and now you are in Sweden, well this story has turned.

Don't blink, you'll miss it!

59 minutes ago, oriole01 said:

Breathtaking season with Partizan... I certainly wasn't expecting you to make it all the way to the final already. Too bad you couldn't figure United out, but I bet you'll be back with a vengeance next season.

That's the plan. No one was throwing fits about leaving, and our rep should get a nice bump. 

The goal is to not embarrass ourselves at the Euros, buy up some talented Swedish kids, and get ready to do it all over again. I'll probably send some 2nd XI players out on loan, to ensure that any youth signings get enough playing time, or... Maybe run with a larger squad than normal. Hard to say. It all depends on the transfer market.

I'm away from the laptop for a few hours ... Up next, Sweden squad review!

[ManUtd1]

I didn't injure you on purpose and you know that. If you accuse me again I'll break both your legs, and that time it will be on purpose.

FK Partizan Beograd / Sweden -- June 2028, Swedish Squad Review

Oh, my...this is no good.  Not good at all.  Our pre-tournament friendlies in Stockholm against Norway and Romania were meant to be confidence building...but we conspired to lose both, 1-nil.  And we were pretty awful...especially in the 2nd match.

The FA are demanding that we "be competitive."  Well, ok then...

 

Goalkeepers

   

Sadikovic and Dahlberg are the established players here, with Amer getting the nod.  Frank John Hussein is the third-string and the one I'm most excited about.  I tried to sign him from Hammarby for 18 months or so, and when I couldn't I settled for Vodicka...but now that we're on with Sweden, we're bringing Frank John over to Belgrade for the party at the cost of $3.9M.

Defenders

            

I brought Lindehof out of international retirement for this tournament, and he's the rock at the heart of our defense.  Nilsson and Bergstrom will join him in the middle, with Wahlqvist and Augustinsson on the flanks.  Youth is the name of the game in the 2nd XI, with Albin Gunnerud (a $575k signing in January) at left wingback...he's young, but we literally have no one else that's even worth considering.  The rest of the 2nd XI back line will be Beijmo, Jacobsson, Vennberg and Lundh.

Central Midfielders

     

This is the strongest part of the team...Partizan maestro Nilsson and Chelsea standout Eklund pairing up.  Abdulkadir and Antonsson are the backups...young, with some potential.

 

Attacking Midfielders

      

Up top, my 1st XI sees Isak flanked by Salomonsson and Stolth.  Isak's "plays with back to goal" PPM is a massive, massive problem...I'm playing him in the deep-lying targetman role, as I can't see him playing as a shadow striker with that PPM...but he's my "best" attacker.  Granath, Jawad and Maenpaa are the backups here, young with tons of promise.

Final Thoughts

There are obvious flaws here.  We're too young.  We're not good enough.

I could very easily get sacked at the end of this tournament, if it all goes pear-shaped.

[ManUtd1]

Italy 2028; European Championships Review

I wish that I could tell you I was surprised.  After our poor showing in the preliminary matches, it was always going to be a dicey affair.

The opening match against Croatia...we simply could not put the brakes on Nikola Janjis, who ran wild in our back line.  Yet, each time we fell into a hole we dug ourselves back out again...until the Croatians found a 95-minute winner.  A 4-3 loss.  The cruelty was palpable.

Against the Dutch, we were again overmatched and fought bravely...only to go down 2-1 thanks to an 85th minute penalty.

The final match against Scotland...we were moving in molasses and could barely get anything started, even after Scotland were reduced to 10 men in the 71st minute.

I can't really blame the Swedish FA.  It was a dismal performance by any measure.  I could sit here all day and complain about the players simply not being good enough, but it seems that these are the breaks.

  

 

 

[ManUtd1]

The Midget Beast has taken up residence in London.  Simeone replaces him in Dortmund.

 

[ManUtd1]

If you're not confused, you're not paying attention.

FK Partizan Beograd / Croatia -- July 2028

In the aftermath of the Euros, I figured...why not put throw my hat into the ring.  Our lads did well enough against them...showed some spirit...

This may raise a few eyebrows in Belgrade, but we're all about inclusiveness...yeah, let's do it.  Our first game in charge will be the Nations League match against...Serbia.

 

    

    

[ManUtd1]

Finally a third seed!  Very favorable draw, no reason at all we shouldn't go through.

 

[rodesire]

12 minutes ago, ManUtd1 said:

 

That's such a nice draw, maybe even through as group winner?

[ManUtd1]

3 hours ago, rodesire said:

That's such a nice draw, maybe even through as group winner?

With any luck, yes.  We just need results against Madrid... *cackles wildly*

[ManUtd1]

If you're not confused, you're not paying attention.

FK Partizan Beograd / Croatia -- September 2028

Perhaps not the ideal start to life with the Vatreni, but back-to-back draws against Serbia and Germany are nothing to shake a stick at.  Zlatan has joined the staff and is pleased to be here...frankly, the geographical challenge of managing Croatia from Belgrade isn't as significant as it was with Sweden, but it is good to have him around.

We hit a slight bump in the Super Liga, drawing against **** Star...in a match where we played with 10 men for 85 minutes.  The Champions League is around the corner...

 

Edited October 3, 2018 by ManUtd1

[ManUtd1]

I don't think Zlatan is taking his duties seriously...

I asked him to watch Hadjuk's U19s play the other night to keep an eye on two promising talents, a goalkeeper and a midfielder.

Regarding the first, Zlatan reported, "Ginger. So inbred he might be a sandwich."

The midfielder at least seemed to have good technical ability, but struggled under even modest pressure.  Zlatan's official assessment regarding the latter? "Milos will never be the man his mother is."

[ManUtd1]

Ambition is not a dirty word. **** on compromise. Go for the throat.

FK Partizan Beograd / Croatia -- October 2028

2 more matches with Serbia.  2 more draws.  It isn't that we're playing poorly, it's that we're spurning chances to win.  Janjis, missing a penalty and several one-on-one chances against Germany?!  Come on, son.  Get it together.  I've dispatched Zlatan to Paris to work with him on his mental toughness.

Partizan are off to Madrid in a few days' time...it'd be nice to steal a march on them, and position ourselves for the knockout round draw.  But let's not get ahead of ourselves here...

 

[rodesire]

broken links? @ManUtd1

Edited October 5, 2018 by rodesire
my internet is broken, facepalm

[ManUtd1]

10 minutes ago, rodesire said:

broken links? @ManUtd1

Shame, you might miss the dancing Jeebus...

 

[ManUtd1]

How to assert your dominance in the Champions League:

1.   Play away to Real Madrid.
2.   Wear your all-white kit.
3.   Refuse to change.
4.   Maintain eye contact with Antonio Conte as he starts to quiver.
5.   ???
6.   Profit.

 

[ManUtd1]

A draw in Madrid?  I'll take it.

UEFA is testing out a new process this year -- joint press conferences after matches, to promote professionalism and fair play.  Drake was too drunk to send on my behalf, so I deputized Zlatan who was in to watch the match.

He and Conte were sitting only 6 feet apart...Antonio refusing to look at Zlatan, furious at the result.  Zlatan didn't know the mics were live and cameras rolling, in anticipation of the fireworks to come...the video went viral within minutes.

Zlatan (whispering):   Pssst... Look at The Zlatan, Antonio.  Look at Him!

[Conte refuses to acknowledge Zlatan, staring stoically ahead.]

Zlatan (whispering more loudly):   I know you can hear The Zlatan, Antonio, you ****.  Look at The Zlatan.

[Conte refuses to look, his right eye starts to twitch.]

Zlatan (whispering, grinning):  The Zlatan is going to eat your brains, Antonio.

[Conte begins to turn a dark shade of red, the anger boiling within him, but still refuses to look at Zlatan.]

Zlatan (making a slurping noise):   Suck them right out of your head with a straw.  Enjoy them with a nice Chianti.

[Beads of sweat begin to run down Conte's face, which has turned a deep crimson.  The twitch in his right eye has become a full-blown tremor.]

Zlatan (grinning maniacally):   Maybe see if your missus wants to wear that horrid rug on your head, while The Zlatan ****s her senseless, yeah?

[Conte begins to sputter with rage, before his eyes roll back in his head and he collapses to the floor like a marionette with his strings cut, while Zlatan chortles incessantly.] 

[ManUtd1]

Ambition is not a dirty word. **** on compromise. Go for the throat.

FK Partizan Beograd / Croatia -- November 2028

Zlatan's performance in Madrid demanded an encore, especially given his now-cult status with the Partizan supporters.  So we've hired him as a "consultant" at the club...and the largest ultras groups combined to create and distribute more than 30,000 "Zlatan" masks...only with a Hannibal Lecter mask superimposed over the lower half of his face.  That's more than 30,000 Hannibal-Zlatan's screaming, flare-throwing supports who, in the 8th minute (to honor Conte's number during the latter stages of his playing career at Juventus) made slurping noises in his direction.

It was a sight to behold and unnerved the visitors, coming as it did on the heels of Cvejic's opening goal, with his second following in the midst of the suck-fest.

With the Vatreni, we looked to be on course for yet another draw against Serbia, only for a late goal to see us through by the skin of our teeth as Group champions.  A Serbian squad comprised largely of Partizan players, facing off against a Croatian side managed by Partizan's manager (featuring 2 Partizan players) at **** Star's Rajko Mitić ground.  It would take multiple Venn diagrams to understand the psychological trauma some supporters suffered that night...especially when a Serbia win would have guaranteed their progression into the Nations League semifinal.  Our Group campaign didn't blow the doors off, but it got the job done.

 

[ManUtd1]

Ambition is not a dirty word. **** on compromise. Go for the throat.

FK Partizan Beograd / Croatia -- December 2028

We finish the Group Stage in style, annihilating Feyenoord 7-1...and draw Lionel Messi's West Ham in the first knockout round.  No one said it would be easy.

Our dominance domestically continues, as we're now unbeaten in more than 3 years.  Is this the year that we take home a European title?

 

[ManUtd1]

120 Super Liga matches without losing, on top of 26 Kup Srbije matches (stretching back to September 2024).  Yeah, the only challenge remaining is on the Continent.

 

[ManUtd1]

It was the fault of David Trezeguet, who made me do one drink of vodka after another. I slept in the bathtub.

FK Partizan Beograd / Croatia -- March 2029

A tough first leg in London.  A brace for "own goal" as a deflection off Hanus spins the ball past Vodicka, with Coman rifling home a header under pressure shortly thereafter.  We gifted the home side a goal mere moments after leveling, a wounded duck of a backpass to Vodicka left him stranded.  A lapse in concentration...but all told it was a good result for the away leg.  If we take care of business in Belgrade, we're through.

Messi's West Ham are met with a thunderous reception at the airport...hundreds if not thousands of Crno-beli supporters, led by a familiar madman in Bozidar...he's made quite the name for himself lately, taking over one of the loudest Ultras groups at the stadium...his formerly calm, measured demeanor is now a mask of drunken, barely-coherent rage.

We start the 2nd leg strong...controlling play entirely.  Ciric turns our control into a lead on aggregate in the 22nd with a thunderbolt past Pickford.  And the defeaning noise only increases...the entire stadium is in motion, with the masses leaping, shouting and launching flares at Messi's head.  When West Ham equalize in the 26th, the crowd only gets louder.  Milanovic reclaims our lead in the 35th...we've got a match, lads.

We enter halftime level on aggregate, destined for penalties if nothing changes...but we've got the advantage.  Surely we can find our way through in the 2nd 45...

We control, press and push...but can't find the next goal.  Pickford denies Ciric brilliantly in the 60th.  World class.  The dam finally breaks in the 72nd, Milanovic turning home a loose ball off a corner.  Up 1 on aggregate.  Now we just need to see the game out...we hold firm.  We're through.  Messi is nothing but complimentary after the fact, none of the fireworks from our last meeting.

But fireworks are certain in the next round.  Pep the Bald's Chelsea are coming back to Belgrade.  Ohhh yes...

 

 

[ManUtd1]

It was the fault of David Trezeguet, who made me do one drink of vodka after another. I slept in the bathtub.

FK Partizan Beograd / Croatia -- March 2029

The first World Cup Qualifier against Scotland was a must-win.  It wasn't pretty, but 3 points are 3 points.

A tepid friendly against Mali...but that was somewhat expected.  My mind is focused on Chelsea.

 

[ManUtd1]

Tonight at 7, on BBC-Family!

¡Despiértate, Gato Con Guantes! Animated, 90 mins.  Juan Mata and Gabi Gato battle the evil Doctor Montoya who is plotting to take over the world with his army of canine-giraffe hybrids, while learning valuable lessons about the importance of friendship, the offsides rule, and self-grooming. (Graphic cartoon violence; strong language; brief nudity.)

Edited October 6, 2018 by ManUtd1

[ManUtd1]

It was the fault of David Trezeguet, who made me do one drink of vodka after another. I slept in the bathtub.

FK Partizan Beograd / Croatia -- April 2029

A night unlike any other in Belgrade.  Revenge for the Group Stage humiliation in 2026, no doubt.  And with Zlatan's history with Pep...he celebrated in the way only he could...pantless in our technical area after Milanovic scored our 5th in the 70th.  Neither Pep nor the stewards dared make eye contact with him.

Our task the following week in London was simple -- not give them a foothold back into the tie.  We held firm, and the celebrations when Cvejic scored in the 83rd were epic, seizing on a Courtois mental error.

Into the semifinals...will it be Manchester or Milan?!

 

Edited October 7, 2018 by ManUtd1

[ManUtd1]

We draw Allegri's City.  Mourinho's United will face Luis Enrique's Inter in the other semifinal

The Santiago Bernabéu awaits...

 

[ManUtd1]

 

 

[ManUtd1]

It was the fault of David Trezeguet, who made me do one drink of vodka after another. I slept in the bathtub.

FK Partizan Beograd / Croatia -- May 2029, Champions League Semi-Final (1st Leg)

We walk into the Etihad confident...we're on a tear domestically and in Europe.  Nothing can stop us.  And in the 22nd, our patience pays off with Cvejic firing home past Croatian Trbuhovic after weaving his way through the City defense.  The traveling support have been louder than the home support all night, and now they turn it up a notch.  Can we find another?

We sit deep aiming to counter, but City are playing a defense-minded 4141...they know the threat we offer in transition.  And at the half, it is all going to plan.  1-nil up, without having given City any meaningful look at goal.

An hour gone, and City have yet to get a shot on goal.  In the 72nd, Idrizovic nearly finds out 2nd as he beats the keeper, only to be denied by the post.

Trbuhovic denies countryman Antic in the 90th...City look well-beaten.  Fragile.  Bereft of ideas.  And off the ensuing corner, Jovic fires home from close range after the ball ping-pongs around in the six.  A 2-nil lead in Manchester...this could not have gone any better...

And with that our mental focus slipped...we concede with the last kick of the game.  In the 4th minute stoppage time, when only 3 were on the board.  Zlatan is ejected for screaming at the 4th official (shirtless).

I can't help but think that we've blown a massive, massive opportunity...given City a foothold back into this tie.  But at the same time, if you'd offered me a 2-1 away win last night, I'd have bitten your hand off to take it.

We'll return to Belgrade with a major advantage.

       

 

[ManUtd1]

You see, that is the sad, sorry, terrible thing about sarcasm.  It's really funny.

FK Partizan Beograd / Croatia -- May 2029, Champions League Semi-Final (2nd Leg)

Zlatan is in the stands with the Ultras after being sent off in Manchester.  Drake is nervously chewing his fingernails as the Champions League anthem plays.  We're 90 minutes from a trip to Madrid.  If we play our game, we'll get there.

40 minutes in and everything is going to plan.  But...Nilsson is holding his knee.  Vukovic is on, with Jovic shifting into the mezzala role.  We reach the half and...things remain in the balance.  We need a goal to finish them off.

An hour gone...and the score is still deadlocked at zero.  City have to start pushing forward soon...there's a goal in this match somewhere.  The best chance of the match falls to Cvejic, but he hammers it high.  Tick tock.  Antic on for Ciric.

Cvejic fires wide in the 73rd...if and of these chances were to be put away, this tie would be over.  But as it stands, City still have a path back in...one goal, and everything changes.  City start to push forward with 10 minutes to play...but Vodicka stuffs Rodrygo in the 82nd.  We're nearly there.

It's a good thing there's no roof on this place, because we would have blown it off when the final whistle blew.  The supporters lost their minds, charging the pitch with Zlatan on their shoulders...not to terrorize the City players, but to celebrate.  And celebrate we did.

We're going to Madrid.  Where we'll face Manchester United in a rematch of last year's final.  The best news of the night?  Nilsson will only be out for 3 days.

      

 

[ManUtd1]

"...back in 2028..." 

 

[ManUtd1]

2029 Champions League Final - Santiago Bernabéu, Madrid

"Buenas noooooches, ladies and gentlemen.  Here with Gary Neville, I'm Jamie Carragher, and this is the Champions League final!"

[The Champions League anthem plays over a montage of highlights from the knockout rounds of this year's competition.  Gary sings along with the anthem, joyously off-tune.]

"Gary, Gary, Gary...what are your thoughts on the match tonight?  A rematch of last year's final...can Bleu's men gain their revenge, or will the Special One reign triumphant yet again?!"

[Gary continues to sing.]

"Well...I, for one, think that this is Bleu's year.  His side are ready.  They've been looking forward to this moment for a year.  What are your thoughts, Gary?  Gary?!"

[Gary glares at Jamie, who just elbowed him sharply in the kidney.]

"Bang out of order, mate.  That's my jam, yeah?  And this Bleu, character, tell me, what has he done lately, yeah?  Nowt.  He's done ****-all, he has."

"Well...they're here in Madrid, Gary...doesn't that count as something?"

"Sympathy vote from those ****s at UEFA, that.  When Joe-says men take the pitch tonight, they'll show these Serbian ****suckers what football really is, Jamie.  Fergie-style."

[Gary begins to do the Gangnum Style dance.]

"So, you're saying...the first minutes will be critical tonight, Gary?"

[Gary continues to dance.]

"Absolutely, Jamie.  The first minutes are critical.  United are going to grind their hips and ride that pony into the next verse."

[Jamie stares blankly into the camera.  Gary continues to dance.]

"What do you have to say about Jose's pre-match criticisms of Bleu, Gary?"

[Gary ignores Jamie and continues to dance, taking a long swig from a bottle of cough medicine, singing to himself.]

  

 

[ManUtd1]

Tweet!

[ManUtd1]

"20 minutes gone, Gary, and it's a bit of a muddle thus far, isn't it?  Neither side getting a grip on the other."

"Well, Jamie...it's good to see Joe-say is playing the lads in a 4141, you know, defending.  Because you can't get scored on.  If you do, the other team gets a grrroal, innit?"

"Gary, what is that you're drinking?!"

[ManUtd1]

"AND JUST LIKE THAT, PARTIZAN NEARLY SCORE, GARY!"

"Oh, no...we can't be having this, son.  I won't 'ave it.  Pants off, United score.  Them's the rules."

[ManUtd1]

[Gary dances.]

"S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y HEY HEY!"

"S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y HEY HEY!"

"Gary...will you please...sit down..."

"SHUT UP, JAMIE, THE BAY CITY ROLLERS ARE ON!"

[ManUtd1]

"39th minute, Gary.  And, yes...Ciric's night is done.  Antic will replace him, the young Croatian with a chance to impress on the biggest stage tonight."

"Young croatshun, yeah?  Hahahaha...phrasing, Jamie!  Phrasing!"

Edited October 7, 2018 by ManUtd1

[ManUtd1]

"COME ON, POGBA-LAD, YOU'VE GOT TO BURY THAT ONE LIKE A BONE, SON!!!"

[ManUtd1]

Halftime.  We're in the match, dead in it.  But we need a tweak.  I'm going to pull the lads back a bit, ease off on the attacking play.  Keep things a bit tighter at the back.

[ManUtd1]

"An hour gone, Gar, and this just...let's be honest.  This hasn't been a pretty game.  Not by a long shot."

"**** off, Jamie, you ****ing ****.  I've always wanted to tell you to go **** a ***** you ********."

[ManUtd1]

"Gary...please, just...this game is a mess.  Nothing pretty about this football at all...could you just put your pants on?"

"You know the rulz, Jamie-lad. And...whats all thisss about pretti? Who cares who brings home the prettieeest lass from the pub, just so long as yuu get 'er home and get stuck in, yeah?"

"For God's sake, Gar, get a grip.  Change coming for Partizan, looks like Idrizovic is on for...yep, Milanovic will be replaced."

[ManUtd1]

"That's the end of 90 minutes...awful, awful football tonight."

"Remembrr, Jamie-lad.  The onlee quesshuun that I want to know is, did you pull, or did yuu pullll?!"

[ManUtd1]

"10 minutes into extra time, Bleu makes his final change...Stamenkovic on for Nilsson, the Swedish phenom who simply hasn't found a way through tonight."

[Gary snores heavily, mumbling the lyrics to "Hit Me Baby One More Time."]

[ManUtd1]

"And...Dembele!!!!!  He finds the back of the net for United!"

[ManUtd1]

"It's last chance saloon for Partizan, ladies and gentlemen.  Gary would be beside himself, if he hadn't just vomited on his trainers."

[ManUtd1]

"Partizan are throwing everyone forward!  Cvejic, denied by Davis in the United goal!  Is there time?!"

[ManUtd1]

"Another corner to Partizan...floated in, deflected...AND ECHESURI HAS BUNDLED IT ACROSS THE LINE!!! THE 'URCA URUGUAYO' HAS LEVELED FOR PARTIZAN!!!!"

 

[ManUtd1]

"AND THAT'S THE MATCH, FOLKS...WE'RE GOING TO PENALTIES...AFTER 90 MINUTES OF WATCHING PAINT DRY, THE MATCH FINALLY CAME ALIVE.  SPOT KICKS WILL NOW DECIDE THE TITLE!"

[ManUtd1]

Antic to take for Partizan...HE BURIES IT! 

ADVANTAGE PARTIZAN!!!