[FM11] The emphasis is on Köping - With few words. And some screenshots.

[emgergo]

FM11, latest patch. LLM rules apply - obviously except for naming players and posting screenshots here. (as it's only 4 photos/comment, I have to make smaller updates, sorry)

Inspired by a thread on Paradox Forums, Crusader Kings - search for Knud Knytling, it's well funny.

So the story begins at Köping in Sweden.

+++

Well, here's me.

Landed a job at Köping FF, a team which never won anything and just got into the Swedish fourth tier. Here's Köping, too.

They're doomed.

When I arrived, the team looked like it's never gonna win anything. I mean, playing 7 against 11 is a big disadvantage. And we had 7 players. And an ass. man.

2 of the players were useless and called Hirvelä. The ass. man is called Hirvelä too. And he's useless as well.

I would have fired them, but they're probably the local mafia and outnumber me 3 to 1.

[emgergo]

These two were my supposedly star players. We're doomed.

Especially doomed because the midfielder went down for 8 month with some kind of inflammation. 8 months? That's burnt at stake, not inflammation!

We had no money, so we loaned and gathered rubbish. Filled up the rest with reserves and U19s.

Rubbish + rubbish = rubbish, isn't it?

Team cohesion was bad. But not as bad as our first league game (we didn't enter the cup, which sucks anyway).

[emgergo]

So the second game even surprised me!

We came out the blocks OK and did well in a very even division. We even led the table for three rounds, but we had an awful season-ending fixture list and because of injuries we were low on quality.

Though we would've been low on quality anyway.

So there came two matches against the other teams on the podium.

Ouch.

No, we're not going up.

Ended the league on second position and voted overachievers. Though no-one expected anything from us, so it's easy to overachieve this way.

By the way our midfield players passed 15 times to each other in succession at our last match. Now that was overachievement for me, given that they only listen too the "Ball! Hoof! RUN!!!" commands.

Swedish 4th tier (NS), 2nd position, season 1 ended.

[AK22]

Well done on the good start. I'm enjoying the irony so far

[psychonaut]

Good start there, good luck for the next season.

[emgergo]

Köping FF, season 2 (Swedish 2nd division - fourth tier)

New division, now we're in North Gotaland. Pundits tipped us 9th after last year's second place. Does that show the true pathetic nature of my former division?

We did well last year and the board gave me both a transfer budget and a wage budget increase \o/. Now we can offer 4 salmons/goal as a bonus.

Extended 4 loans, got another from new parent club Syrianska Kerburan, so I thought we only need to strengthen in some key positions (goalkeeper, midfield, right back).

Oh how very naive.

The first half of the season went quite well though, the only annoying thing was that each and every team managed to grab the first goal at our ground so we had to come back from behind.

So for the second half of the season one thing changed: they grabbed the first goal and kept the lead. The other teams made Köping-bashing a new sport.

Duh!

Ouch.

[emgergo]

We had 50 season ticket holders. We gave them this:

The strikers – who scored 34 goals amongst each other last year – had the grand total of 16. My central defenders just lost the scoring contest 16:7...

We ended up 7th but our late season form was of a relegation candidate's.

I guess we lost at least half of those 50 season ticket holders.

[emgergo]

You think that last season was bad? No. This is bad.

Good to see that the board is as talented as the players.

[BaritoneTrouble]

Blur reference earns you a right off the bat! Good luck!

[emgergo]

Köping FF, season 3, still Swedish 4th tier.

We stayed in the same group. The board started with the message above (nice new sponsorship deal, brilliant work) and duly cut my wage budget by 6000 euros/week.

Luckily I pre-arranged transfers for 4 players before, so they joined and pushed me about 4500 euros over wage limit. The board kicked my behind so I started chopping the deadwood.

Our defence seemed to be big and mean, so I set up a supposedly mean tactic. Which worked until the league started. We sent Enköping out of the cup then lost to Hammarby reserves on penalties. And then...

Not good. First we couldn't buy a win which win not surprising given our dire financial situation. Then we could buy draws.

Meanwhile...

That's not good for job safety.

[emgergo]

Words of wisdom from the ass. man.

Turn around a 0-0 scoreline. A 0-0? And what? It becames 0-0? My ass, man!

MUPPET!!!

On the more positive side: a win, and with 10 men on the field!

And even more positive: we take the lead at home for the first time in almost 21 months! (that's some achievement, isn't it?)

On the other hand, this is really, really, really annoying.

[emgergo]

Wow, brand new chairman and he brings nothin'!

Ain't got nothin' for me anymore, ain't got nothin' for you. You don't give money, you won't get results.

We can safely promise him no results at all. We're quite good at it.

That's the only thing we're good at.

Some players signed new contracts for less money, so the board now doesn't suck my blood each month to do something with the wage budget. We're still over, meaning we can't get reinforcements in the summer transfer period and won't be able to pre-sign anyone for next season.

Not that I'm sure that we'll play in a playable division next year, mind you.

[emgergo]

We were like a wanderer lost in a marsh. One step out of the mud, one step back in.

I just hoped we don't drown.

Before the last round Gute was behind us 3 points on a relegation playoff place. The problem was that they played already relegated Linsdal and we played 5th Linköping. With Gute and us having equal goal difference (–6) a loss and their win could have meant relegation playoffs for us.

They won but we did what was needed with an unspectacular 0–0. 9th place, after an awful start I never really hoped for better.

The players were clearly not having the time of their lives on the pitch. Bakircioglu did OK with 8 goals, he could be a good second choice striker. But where is that first choice striker?

Not an impressive season, at least we survived. So now we can pay back the loan the new owner took out. From my point of view the only loans needed are quality loan players.

We don't have them but have to pay back 6K/month. Sigh.

Next season hopes: we need a striker who is better than Bakircioglu. Also need a playmaker, a left-back is very badly needed because the Norwegian guy there didn't seem to know what was going on on the pitch. And a goalkeeper too. If we don't get these, the team probably won't make it out from here.

[Lenzar]

Heh, I wish you could fire a dig at a new owner who isn't planning any investment. The character I'm 'playing' in my journeyman would probably just walk out of the club, though - which again should bring a news item.

[emgergo]

KÖPING FF, SEASON 4, Swedish fourth tier

I cleared out some of the squad, this and the 200 euros/week increase in wages meant we could sign some guys. In came a new goalie, a young defensive midfielder and last year's best player purchased after a loan. This year's loans were rated highly by the scouts.

Fools.

We made a division-hopping yet again, the federation moved us to South Svealand. The bookies tipped us for the drop.

Did I ever say we were doomed?

The league kicked off with some attractive, attacking, flashy football.

Notice the position. We won't get any higher than that.

I shouldn't give much comment on that. We were awful. We usually weren't outplayed but we were beaten anyway.

So we were rooted to the bottom of the division. There were five matches left, four (!) at home, including matches against the 8th, the 9th and the 11 th. So there was still a chance.

[emgergo]

I wasn't really surprised when the press rumours started that if we do badly against Värmdö, I'm out.

We didn't do that badly, but lost yet again.

That's when you jump before you get pushed.

KÖPING RECORD

2010: 2nd, Swedish Second Division NS, 11-6-5, 39 pts

2011: 7th, Swedish Second Division NG, 8-4-10, 28 pts

2012: 9th, Swedish Second Division NG, 7-5-10, 26 pts

Cup: first round proper, ousted by Hammarby TFF

2013: 12th, Swedish Second Division SS, 3-4-11, 13 pts, resigned

[AK22]

Bad luck, but probably right to resign.

Can't imagine clubs will be fighting each other to sign you though, so good luck with the job hunting

[emgergo]

I've never been so crap in the Swedish 4th tier, and I managed there in almost all FMs since FM05. I find this lowest Swedish tier quite streaky: barring 1-2 teams no-one can play football, so it usually depends on how well you come out of the blocks.

[emgergo]

Yay, new club to ruin! \o/ IFK Lulea

So I moved a bit further north. There are not many teams more Nordic than this. Looks like the town's giving more hardcore/metal bands to the Swedish culture than usual.

Somewhere you have to scream out your frustration after looking your local football club playing, right?

[emgergo]

Season 5, IFK Lulea, Swedish 2nd Division North

I've inherited a pretty decent (though thin) squad, which made me realise how miserable Köping's squad was.

You can argue it's not the players, it's the manager though.

The former manager had arranged 3 signings already and we got a player on loan from our parent club. I had no goalkeepers (barring a 16 year old, who looked anything but a keeper), so I sent out the scouts and signed two decent ones. We had no left-back as well, so I signed Axel By from Örebro, who spent a season on loan at Köping. I was still well under wage budget, so I signed a promising-looking striker (Martensson) and a Finnish talent (Karlsson) for 6K compensation. The rest were making up the numbers.

Season picked up where I left off at Köping. May it be that it's me and not the players...?

The board demanded an improvement (you can argue that you can only improve from here) and we did, a hard-fought win was followed by a great away win over league leaders Ersboda. They came back from 2-0 but we killed them off with two counters in the last 5 minutes. That did the trick, we were never in danger any more during the season, and our steadily improving performances lifted us to the top half of the table.

I was hoping for a podium finish, but my main striker had a bad day...

[emgergo]

That was enough for a 5th place - we were tipped 6th beforehand. The board waited for quite a long time to offer me a new contract, but they finally did and were very pleased with how we done.

The former manager did so badly that they became very easy to please

[emgergo]

So onto some of our players then:

Johan Martensson was a great signing, 17 matches, 9 goals, 9 assists and he's great from free kicks and OK from corners, which certainly is a big asset. Runner-up signing of the season and the division's striker of the year.

Linus Johansson will be a club legend. This was his sixth season at the club and his worst season average is 7.10 - this time he finished with 5 goals, 7.17 and this was worth defender of the year in our division.

Olli Karlsson was worth every cent of that 6000 euros. Big and dominant in the air, but I hope he can get a bit better in his midfield role, too (when I played him there, the performances suffered). If he develops well, he can take us forward I think.

And last, but not least. The contract demands of a new player:

(he got the 1 euro signing fee, before you ask)

[emgergo]

Season 5, IFK Lulea, Swedish 2nd Division North

The squad was OK, we just needed a) more depth and b) a decent left-back as we were wasting our best left winger in the back four.

In came two A-internationals, an Ugandan midfielder and a Liberian striker, who had 70+ caps altogether. The season showed that even though you're a capped player you can still be absolutlely mediocre...

The best bargain was Naosil Hanna, my former player at Köping, whose contract ran out - he was doing well during the season. Eboh (finally, a good left-back) came in the summer transfer period and was a quality leap there.

We made the Swedish Cup first round proper before Nike showed us the door. We hit the ground running in the league, being in the top group through the season. We went top after 7 rounds and after 9 rounds (when Teg overtook us) it was a two-horse battle to the end.

The maddening thing was that we were underperforming against the weaker teams - from our six eventual defeats four were against the bottom four -, while regularly beating the better ones. It seemed like our promotion hopes were given a shot when we lost three in a row without even scoring one.

Luckily we had five games left and four of those were on home soil. We somehow struggled past relegation candidates Alvik - my striker duo, Mettäväinio and Martensson finally found the net - and rivals Pitea with a Hanna-header.

I think the decisive match was against Mariehem who played very well and took the lead twice on our ground. Martensson got it back to 2-2 and Leon scored a screamer from way out - 3-2 and Teg lost, so we were in the lead!

Leading by 2 points meant that if we beat Teg away, we're up.

A Teg Team can be no opposition to us. They played football, we scored the goal.

Promotion! \o/

[emgergo]

End of season table, past positions and (most of the) squad.

Nice to be out of the bottom tier - though I will miss beating the other teams ending with an å. We are the self-acclaimed king of teams ending on an å.

[AK22]

Well done on the promotion

[Toshiba999]

Great career Good work on the promotion!

[emgergo]

Thanks!

Huh. The board offered me an improved contract - runs out at the end of the season but with higher wage - but I was unable to okay it (there was no date set on the contract offer screen). This resulted in having a contract expiry date of --- and the chairman firing me for no reason next month (probably due to a contract problem)!

Really strange bug, but fortunately a re-load and a holiday over the contract offer (which got automatically accepted) did the trick, so the save is ok.

[emgergo]

Season 6, IFK Lulea, Swedish 1st Division North

The squad looked good for a newly-promoted team, but that didn't mean it was good enough to safely avoid the drop.

I sent the Liberian and the Ugandan packing, they can wipe their behinds with both their A-caps and their P45. They weren't for much use and they earned well. Also leaving was Tuukka Sirviö (DR/ST) whose departure left the fans and board a bit disappointed. I was disappointed that in two seasons his only major contribution was a knee-high two-foot challenge, which earned him a 4-week suspension

Scouting the reserve league left us with quite many transfer targets, we signed six of those - three strikers, a DRC, a defensive midfielder and a central midfielder, all between 19 and 25. One scout kindly pointed me towards a young Macedonian goalie, who he thinks can be a second tier keeper.

Not that the second tier is threatening us.

Made the transfer blunder of my life, signed a young Nigerian and for some reason he came in mid-November and signed until the end of November. I didn't get a warning so I was a bit surprised when he was gone. If I was the chairman I wouldn't be happy with the manager :applause:

[emgergo]

Some new meat. My new striking duo seems really good, so either they can't score in a brothel or will be injured for 60 % of the campaign.

He does have nice hair.

He does have some nice stats (191 cms and 3 for heading? Who taught that guy???)

And he can form an indie rock duo with Berisha. Mind you, their primary job is still striker

[Cuddlefish]

Just got the joke in the titled, I felt proud of myself.

Good viewing, KUTGW on your career

[emgergo]

The Swedish Cup sucked as usual. We made the first round proper and then went out to Kenty in a very even game.

So then came our first league match against Sirius who were tipped to win the title. Their manager opened the season with this tirade.

Eat your words, muppet!

[emgergo]

Needless to say we got the first round back in the second – Karlsrund showed us we still got to learn in this division. We learnt OK as it seems from our match against fierce rivals Boden.

Boden means floor. They are floored for sure. Fans were purring.

I thought the team could be good for midtable position, but we did really well.

So far no danger at all.

[Jolanthustrel]

End of season table, past positions and (most of the) squad.

I'm Glad to see Umedalen Suck even without me. This makes me feel somewhat better about my save, not much, but a little.

But back to your game. Nice job on promotion, looks like Teg decided they didn't want it and you were positioned to swoop. \o/

[emgergo]

So after a long (forum) break, the rest of the season went OK:

[emgergo]

IFK LULEA - 2017 (Swedish First Division North, 3rd tier)

Not much change around the squad, I strengthened for the weak(er) positions.

So we started well...

...ran away with it, and with some rounds to go we played for the promotion.

DOH! A bit annoying match. To say the least. But still...

Up we go to the second tier! \o/

[archanios]

Grattis with promotion!

In the First Division North at the moment as well, a little rescue mission with the team that finished second.

[emgergo]

Getting to fast forward (had a bit of time to play while the forum was down):

Season 2018 - IFK LULEA (Swedish First Division Elite - 2nd tier)

Thankfully my players went under the radar and I was able to keep the key players together - fringe players were cut. Berisha was a potential top division material up front but he needed a partner, so I spent my money on a Tunesian guy who came with the promise of 'showing real football' to the fans.

It'd be a welcome change after our kick & rush.

Fallqvist and Frisk came to the left wing, al-Ammari to the centre defense (my first-choice pairing of Hanna and Karlsson cut the level but they needed backup), Jelassi up front, Svensson is an U19 player and one for the future (AMRC), while Ólafsson brought in 32 years of experience in a DC/DM/MC/AMC universal role.

I know that we're not exactly Stockholm - all we can offer is sea, cold, vodka and berries - but that's a wee bit embarrassing

[emgergo]

Of course we were tipped for a relegation place. I was worrying as we got off the season with the worst possible start: a loss in the Cup to archrivals Boden.

But somehow we liked the underdog role in the league... Apart from a 4-game terrible streak.

In the summer I had to sell my right winger, Njoku on a pre-arranged transfer to get some money - I bought a shiny new Gambian left winger as a replacement. Njoku's departure left the fans schizophrenic, it seems.

We were really flying, morale was sky high and to my utter shock we were cruising towards promotion! In the last round we finished off Örgryte and waited for Öster and Häcken.

[emgergo]

Häcken went balls up - they were winningless in the last 6 league games after leading the Superettan for all season! - so we went up directly, without a playoff as runner-ups. Double promotion in 2 seasons \o/\o/:D

Needless to say, we seemed to be anything but prepared for the next step up. But who would complain?