The Curious Incident of the Dog......oh Wait Thats Been Taken.....

[Peacemaker7]

If you had the opportunity to wish for anything in the world, what would it be? Money, fame, good health, a never ending packet of polo's. You probably have a good idea of what you would want, and I did too. Somehow, what I actually wished for wasn't quite what I expected I would.

My Uncle Charlie had died whilst climbing some mountain Africa. At least, thats what the letter said. I didn't even know I had an Uncle Charlie, let alone that the silly bugger was climbing up some pointless mountains. Still, he must have known me as he left me this present in his will, which kind of made me feel bad.

The box was a bit tatty, and felt fairly heavy as I lugged it onto the no 9 bus, before realise that in fact I needed to get the number 12. Eventually I got home, and excitedly started to rip the box open. Perhaps it was full of gold coins, or mibbe gold bars. What I didnt expect was to find an old oil lamp, a bit like they one they had in Alladin.

Exactly why the old poof had left me this mangy piece of crap was beyond. Perhaps it was because I had forgotten him, and this was some kind of revenge. Or perhaps he was just a stupid old bugger who deserved what he got in the end. What the hell was I wanting with this? I didnt know, and laughingly wondered if a Genie would pop out if I rubbed it.

So I rubber, and a Genie a popped out.

'I am the Genie of the Lamp' the Genie said, 'I will grant you one wish.'

'Wow thats fantastic' I said, 'One wish? Can I wish..... hey wait a minute I thought it was supposed to be three wishes!!'

'Yeah' the Genie informed me sadly, 'cut backs you know. Too many people were using their wishes for daft things like sausages on the ends of their noses.'

I stood thinking for a minute. I could wish for lots of money, that would be cool. Or I could wish to be Super Human. Or......and then I blurted out, 'Ok I want to be manager of Forfar Athletic'.

I could tell by the look on the Genie's face that he considered me another of those freaks who wasted their wishes.

'Very well then' and with a poof, he was gone although if truth be told I hadn't noticed the poof till that moment. But each to own eh.

The next thing I knew, I was in a taxi pulling up outside Station Park in Forfar. It seemed I had an interview for the Forfar job, which to me seemed as if the Genie had screwed up until Chairman David McGregor informed me that the other two candidates were Ted Locke and Berti Vogts. The job was guaranteed to be mine.

[Peacemaker7]

If you had the opportunity to wish for anything in the world, what would it be? Money, fame, good health, a never ending packet of polo's. You probably have a good idea of what you would want, and I did too. Somehow, what I actually wished for wasn't quite what I expected I would.

My Uncle Charlie had died whilst climbing some mountain Africa. At least, thats what the letter said. I didn't even know I had an Uncle Charlie, let alone that the silly bugger was climbing up some pointless mountains. Still, he must have known me as he left me this present in his will, which kind of made me feel bad.

The box was a bit tatty, and felt fairly heavy as I lugged it onto the no 9 bus, before realise that in fact I needed to get the number 12. Eventually I got home, and excitedly started to rip the box open. Perhaps it was full of gold coins, or mibbe gold bars. What I didnt expect was to find an old oil lamp, a bit like they one they had in Alladin.

Exactly why the old poof had left me this mangy piece of crap was beyond. Perhaps it was because I had forgotten him, and this was some kind of revenge. Or perhaps he was just a stupid old bugger who deserved what he got in the end. What the hell was I wanting with this? I didnt know, and laughingly wondered if a Genie would pop out if I rubbed it.

So I rubber, and a Genie a popped out.

'I am the Genie of the Lamp' the Genie said, 'I will grant you one wish.'

'Wow thats fantastic' I said, 'One wish? Can I wish..... hey wait a minute I thought it was supposed to be three wishes!!'

'Yeah' the Genie informed me sadly, 'cut backs you know. Too many people were using their wishes for daft things like sausages on the ends of their noses.'

I stood thinking for a minute. I could wish for lots of money, that would be cool. Or I could wish to be Super Human. Or......and then I blurted out, 'Ok I want to be manager of Forfar Athletic'.

I could tell by the look on the Genie's face that he considered me another of those freaks who wasted their wishes.

'Very well then' and with a poof, he was gone although if truth be told I hadn't noticed the poof till that moment. But each to own eh.

The next thing I knew, I was in a taxi pulling up outside Station Park in Forfar. It seemed I had an interview for the Forfar job, which to me seemed as if the Genie had screwed up until Chairman David McGregor informed me that the other two candidates were Ted Locke and Berti Vogts. The job was guaranteed to be mine.

[Stephanie McMahon's Secret Lover]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Chairman David McGregor informed me that the other two candidates were Ted Locke and Berti Vogts. The job was guaranteed to be mine. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

[millwallrules]

great start mate,looking forward for this one

[uskopite]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content"> laughingly wondered if a Genie would pop out if I rubbed it.

So I rubber, and a Genie a popped out.

</div></BLOCKQUOTE>

lmfao --

Well, duh. . .

(I love you sense of humor -- good start.)

[uskopite]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content"> laughingly wondered if a Genie would pop out if I rubbed it.

So I rubber, and a Genie a popped out.

</div></BLOCKQUOTE>

lmfao --

Well, duh. . .

(I love you sense of humor -- good start.)

[Spav]

Meh, just another wacky noob story, might as well see where it goes.

[Peacemaker7]

Driving away from Station Park there were a few things bothering me - like why the Genie hadn't actually granted me my wish like. Oh sure, I had gotten the Forfar job. I mean what idiot would want to employ Ted Locke, and as for Berti Vogts well. But then I had gotten the job on my own merit, there was nothing magical about getting through a job interview. Well unless you count that bitch that somehow got a job at Smiths.

'Oh sure' the Genie popped up besides me as I drove, 'Because you could oh so easily walk into any football and get a job couldn't you.'

'Erm, well, no.' I admitted 'But then again the BBC employed Sandy Clark as a commentator.'

'Its just so typical.' The Genie carried on ignoring my quite sensible point, 'You think all we have to do is wave a wand, but there is so much more to it than that. But never you mind, if you feel you got the job without my help, you keep being an ungrateful bastard.'

And then he was gone, and thankfully I never saw the git again and as the years rolled by I would eventually forget that I had apparantly gotten this job by magical means. And yet strange things kept happening that probably should have reminded me that I was living in a fantasy world. Like in my first season in charge, Hamilton Accies reached the Scottish Final and got from the First Division.

Yet if that had seemed strange, even stranger things were happening. Motherwell won the SPL, and Raptor showed up at an FMS meet up with a real woman, who claimed she was his wife. It struck me that I didn't know a Raptor in this reality - but then again I had to ask myself where the hell the car I was driving had come from. And remind myself that I couldn't actually drive.

[Peacemaker7]

Thanks

I'm hoping to try something a little different here rather than a continued diatribe of match reports. But we'll see.

[Peacemaker7]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Hamilton Accies reached the Scottish Final and got RELEGATED from the First Division. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

I dont normally correct my mistakes but that ones a tad important

[displaced_seagull]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Peacemaker7:

Chairman David McGregor informed me that the other two candidates were Ted Locke and Berti Vogts. The job was guaranteed to be mine. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Nice start, as ever

[Peacemaker7]

Tnx Stu

[Peacemaker7]

Alighting from the plane at Glasgow Airport, I was quite miffed that there was no crowd, no paperazzi to greet me. Then I remembered this was Glasgow, even though in fact it was Paisley, and no-one in this part of the country knew where Forfar was let alone that they had a football team. There were only two teams in Scotland after all.

I was just exiting the airport, when I suddenly remembered something. I lived in Dundee.

The reason I lived in Dundee had come back to me in a flash. Apparantly I played football for them. Apparantly I had also played for St Mirren and Forfar, which probably explains why I got the job so easily. My Genie had certainly gone to great lengths to create my wish, and made a mental note to thank him one day. It was a note that I completely forgot about.

Hoping back on the the plane to Forfar, my private yacht pulled up at port in Arbroath and I made my way to my home in Dundee by train. It had been a strange day that had started at some point and was now about to end, and I was going to bed when the doorbell rang. I thought about not answering it, but then realised it might be some glamorous model that I was dating. After all, I was famous footballer who had just been appointed to a prestigious management post.

Of course, that was bollox, and indeed so were my guests who turned out to be Raptor and his pretty Singaporean wife who spoke no English, along with Bagpuss, SMSL and Spav who had just flown all the way over from Australia. It was of course an FNS meetup, and it was apparantly my turn to host. Kind of the Genie to tell me that, and it might explain why I had forgotten to fill the fridge.

Still, this wasn't Torquay and we easily found a fish and chip shop that was actually open and so the travellers didn't go hungry. They were all in awe of me it seemed, especially SMSL who was still trying his best to manage to some crappy team in the 201st level of the English pyramid. I would have offered him the position of Assistant Manager, but I didn't actually want the team to be relegated.

The next day I rushed out to buy a newspaper, but my only mentions were odd paragraph stating that some wee silly team had appointed a new boss, but really it wasn't worth their while wasting ink on it when a certain Rangers players wife had broken a finger nail, which was clearly far more important. Managing a team like Forfar was not going to be easy, and when I tell you that by the time we played Morton at Cappielow on the last day of my first season in charge, we found ourselves over a quarter of a million pounds in debt, you can see part of the problem.

Of course a lot of so called bigger clubs - so called because they were actualy bigger than us - a lot of those clubs would die for a debt of a quarter of a million pounds. The reality for us though that such a debt would indeed be the death of us. If I sold the whole playing squad it wouldn't even half the debt, and then of course we wouldn't have any players to actually play and that would be a tad silly.

But thats life at a small club, and we just had to get on with it. I suppose.

[Peacemaker7]

Of course not everyone was able to attend the FMS meetup. Terk was over in California filming his latest blockbuster movie, HD was at the Old Bailey defending a very high profile client, and a few others were doing some very important things too. So basically it was just the losers who had turned up. Personally, I couldn't wait to see the back of them as I had a football club to get in order before the new season. In Torquay we had been forced to endure the Ted Locke style of 'management'. I had a treat for the guys as Forfar has a friendly with Luton, and it would also give me a chance to see the players in action - before deciding to dump their sorry arses.

A 1-1 draw was fine, the FMS guys left drunk and happy and I could get down to the real business of running this club. The reality of the situation was that we had one or two half decent players who in my opinion could do a job at this level. And then we had quite a few players who quite honestly would struggle to even get a game in one of Ted Lockes sides. Now that really is saying something.

Needless to say, a fair few players were shown the door and quite a few of them needed help in working out what to do with it.

Although Michael Brown was a reasonably decent keeper, I wasn't convinced he was good enough long term and so decided to sign Motherwell reserve Jamie Ewings who cost me £1000. This was to prove a really good piece of business, as Ross County would eventually buy him for a whopping £100k. But that was in the future, and this was the present.

Veteran Steve Florence would do a good job I felt at right back, but the left back spot was weak and so I signed up former Scotland U-21 cap Kieran McAnespie from St Johnstone, also for £1000. Last of the big spenders eh! Another experienced player at the back was Eddie Forest and with David's Dunn and King and the odd remaining fringe player the defense seemed quite strong - for this level at least.

I wanted to play a diamond style in the middle four with a man sitting in front of the centre backs, and one sitting in behind the strikers. We didn't really seem to have anyone capable of playing these roles so in came the vastly experienced Paul Bernard for the defensive role, and former Falkirk man Ian Morris for the attacking role. Both players would soon make those positions their own, and neither could really be faulted for the efforts given in their times at the club. Barry Sellars is a decent player, and the signins of young Rangers reject Alex Walker for another £1000 along with the capture of another former Falkirk player in Philip Creaney, also for £1000 and we had the basis of a semi decent midfield.

Up front was quite easy. Paul Tosh and Paul Shields had formed a good partnership and I was happy to keep them as the main strike pairing. We did need cover though in case of injuries and what not so in came non-entities Mark McCormick and John McAllister, both from Berwick. That would be the main players for the first six months at least, along with the fringe players whose names I have probably forgotten now. Well they can't have been that good then can they?

I felt we had a decent squad that could do the club proud in the season ahead. A 3-0 gubbing by Burnley didn't exactly justify that optimism, but it was early days and I felt sure we could mount a serious challenge. In order to relieve some of the stress from the reader, and to put your mind at ease I can tell you one thing from the season ahead. We didn't get relegated.

[Raptor]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Chairman David McGregor informed me that the other two candidates were Ted Locke and Berti Vogts. The job was guaranteed to be mine. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Brilliant

[Peacemaker7]

I should of course appologize to Mark Haddon for nearly stealing the title of his award winning book. But truth is, I'm doing him a favour anyway as it will bring him much needed publicity in view of the forthcoming film, and I feel he should be paying me a commission. Miserly bastard.

But whatever.

So on with the story, and our attempt to gain promotion to Division One. Or at the very least not to get relegated to Division Three. However, as I have already stated that we did not get relegated, that isn't really an issue. Whilst the League season started in decent, if not outstanding form, the same couldn't be said for the Cups. A shocking 1-0 loss at Montrose in the 2nd round ended our interest in the Challenge Cup, and a 1-0 loss at home to Stirling meant we wouldnt be having a run in the League Cup either. But as the old saying goes, at least now we could concentrate on the League. Thats what all the losers say.

By December we had strung together an unbeaten run of sixteen matches that saw us sit proudly at the top of the table. That run though was ended in Greenock by a good Morton side, but we had to be pleased at how things were going. A 3-0 win over Stenhousemuir in the 2nd round saw us into the glamour stages of the Scottish Cup, and we awaited with the baited breath the possibility of a draw at Ibrox or Celtic Park that ensure our financial security for a few years to come. In the end though the draw was rigged and we had Dunfermline at home. Which was crap.

A near capacity crowd of just over 4500 brought in just over £12,000 in gate reciepts and with a guaranteed £50,000 even if we lost it would go a little bit at least to reducing the alarmingly rising debt. A brave battling performance produced a 0-0 draw and a replay, which earned us a little bit more cash. And really, thats what the Cup is all about. Its not as if we were going to win the damn thing.

And so my prediction proved right, as 92nd minute goal from John Dunn denied us extra time, and we bowed out with our heads held high. We were doing fairly well, but I was still on the look out for any new players I thought would help our cause, although of course I was also very aware of staying within the wage budget. Which happily we did. In January in came one or two players, including Welsh midfielder Mike Flynn from Gillingham for £6000 and Irish keeper Barry Roche from Nottm Forest for £12,000.

Flynn would become an integral part of the side, a player who was really too good for this level of football but we were happy to have him. Roche would be on the sidelines for the rest of the season, would grab his chance but then blow it and be sold to Gretna for £50,000 at a later date. Gretna had way too much money, and should be ashamed of themselves.

With half a season gone, things were going nicely and we were on course to achieve a quite excellent promotion. Strange things though were afoot, as in the SPL neither Rangers nor Celtic were top of the table and both sides had sacked their managers. Everyone thought that they would come back, but of course they wouldn't as Motherwell were to take the title. Indeed the 'Old Firm' would end up with nothing. Which was quite funny.

[HD]

I agree, that is quite funny.

[Peacemaker7]

Its been a weird game so far this one, you would like it

Well, except that Ayr are pants but thats your fault

[Peacemaker7]

Although in general we played well this season, that didn't mean we didn't have our dodgy moments. A 4-2 away loss at 2nd bottom Alloa was not the highlight of our season and the 5-1 gubbing by Stirling was just bloody embarrassing. Yet despite those little stutters, we put together enough wins to wrap up promotion and the Division Two title, and we went to Cappielow on the last day of the season as Champions, playing the side who finished runners up. It was a real Gala occassion, although a 36th minute penalty from Peter Weatherstone ruined it for us. Well actually we didn't give a ****.

The SPL race went to the wire, with Celtic, Rangers and Motherwell all ending on the same number of points. Rather ironically though it was Motherwell who were crowned Champions on goal difference. That the natural balance of power in Scotland had been upset was perhaps evident when Gretna reached the League Cup Final, only to lose out to Dundee.

Later on, Hamilton became another minnow to reach a cup Final, when they lost out to Dunfermline in the Scottish Cup. No matter what people say about this season, the fact is that Forfar won more trophies than both the Old Firm put together and it's not often we can say that.

And so my first season as a football manager came to a rather successful end. Our reward for winning the Second Division was £75,000 which in reality helped keep us afloat. There is still a huge debt, but as long as I get paid thats all that really matters.

[Peacemaker7]

Scottish Second Division Table 2004-2005

<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre">

| Pos | Inf | Team | | Pld | Won | Drn | Lst | For | Ag | G.D. | Pts |

| --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 1st | C | Forfar | | 36 | 22 | 9 | 5 | 63 | 29 | +34 | 75 |

| --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 2nd | P | Morton | | 36 | 21 | 7 | 8 | 69 | 39 | +30 | 70 |

| --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 3rd | | Stirling | | 36 | 15 | 12 | 9 | 59 | 39 | +20 | 57 |

| --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 4th | | Arbroath | | 36 | 15 | 12 | 9 | 48 | 36 | +12 | 57 |

| --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 5th | | Stranraer | | 36 | 10 | 15 | 11 | 35 | 49 | -14 | 45 |

| --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 6th | | Dumbarton | | 36 | 11 | 11 | 14 | 43 | 49 | -6 | 44 |

| --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 7th | | Brechin | | 36 | 9 | 15 | 12 | 29 | 36 | -7 | 42 |

| --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 8th | | Alloa | | 36 | 11 | 6 | 19 | 50 | 62 | -12 | 39 |

| --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 9th | R | Berwick | | 36 | 9 | 10 | 17 | 36 | 49 | -13 | 37 |

| --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 10th | R | Ayr | | 36 | 3 | 11 | 22 | 28 | 72 | -44 | 20 |

| --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| | | | | | | | | | | | |

| --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

</pre>

reproduced with courtesy to the SFL and ASDA.

[HD]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Peacemaker7:

Its been a weird game so far this one, you would like it

Well, except that Ayr are pants but thats your fault </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

That part isn't funny at all.

[Peacemaker7]

It was hard to believe that a whole year had passed, but it had. I was now firmly entrenched in the reality that I was a football manager and had almost completely forgotten the life I used to live, although occassionaly I did turn up for work at the airport and once put in nearly half a shift before I remembered I didn't work there now. And indeed never had in this reality.

But back to the football, and summer meant transfers. Even with the prize money and summer season ticket sales, we were still in the red so the cash wouldn't be flowing that was for sure, but there would be some new faces. There had to be really, some of these guys were just so damned ugly. They made Bagpuss look human.

At the end of the day, three players left - including the ludicrous sale of Jamie Ewings to Ross County for £100,000. Ewings had done well enough for us, but we couldn't turn down such a stupid bid and banked the cheque before they could wake up and realise what they'd done. A year later they sold Jamie for £8,000. Idiots.

County also bought David King for £20,000 and indeed it was they who bought our only other sale of the summer, David McClune for £2,000. I asked the manager if he didn't just want to take my job. He thought I was joking. Which, of course, I was.

Finding players to come in the way though wasn't easy. In the end only three new faces arrived and none of them would make that much of a presence over the next season. We would sign more players in January though, but thats another seven months away. The biggest signing of the summer for us was 17 year old keeper Adam Bradley who came in from Carlisle at the cost of £18,000. He has little chance of getting first team football yet, but clearly he someone we think has a lot of potential. Whoever the f*ck 'we' are.

The only real change then to the regular line up would be Barry Roche taking over in goal, and it was basically the same bunch of players who had taken us up who would be given the job of keeping us up. Our chances were considered slim, and when you consider that the bookies have listed us at 150-1 in a 10 horse race to gain promotion, and that I didn't even place a bet, you can see that we really don't have a hope in hell of doing much. Unless that Genie comes back. The one I've forgotten about.

[Peacemaker7]

The manager of Porto phoned me up.

'Do youa wanta a friendly' he asked me.

'Dae aw waant a friendly whit?'

'Do youa wanta a friendly game ofa footaball? Witha Porto ata Statione Parka?'

'Ur you taking the pish mate? This Forfur, awa an bile yer heid Raptor.'

'Ah no I thinka you misunderstooda me, really is manager of Porto anda we woulda really like-a to play Forfara.'

It took a while to convince me, but it turned out to be real. The mighty Porto would be coming to Station Park for a preseason game. We were gonnay get murdered!

Before the Porto match, we had lined up Inverness, Huddersfield and Hearts so it would be a real test for the lads, and hopefully a treat for the Forfar support. A great match with Inverness ended in a 3-3 draw, which was commendable from our point of view - although we had been 3-1 up at one point. We battled hard against Huddersfield, before succumbing to a penalty seven minutes from time. Least we managed to injure one of their players though.

Against Hearts it was a bit one sided as you'd expect and we went down 3-0 and then all eyes turned to the glamour tie with Porto. There were some huge names on display in a match that incredibly ended goalless. Vitor Baia, Nuno Valente, Hugo leal, Ricardo Quaresma and their mates enthralled the capacity crowd with their skill and a very good and encouraging result for us in our final warm up game.

No doubt we'd now get relegated.

[Peacemaker7]

It was important that we got off to a good start in the League, as we didn't want to get left behind early doors and then have to play catch up for the rest of the season. An opening day 2-0 loss away to Airdrie was probably expected but nevertheless dissapointing. Our second game was also away, and with our first home game against title favourites Dundee United, we were staring nil points right in the face. Fortunately, a Paul Tosh goal on 50 minutes gave us all three points in Kircaldy. Fortunately, because we got murdered 2-0 at Station Park against United.

Dundee United would also end our Challenge Cup hopes and League Cup hopes, both at the second round stage. We did take them to penalties in the Challenge Cup match at Tannadice, and only lost 1-0 at home in the League Cup. These were little signs of encouragement for us against the team who would prove to be clearly the best in the Division by some margin. Wins over Partick, Montrose, Queen of the South and Clyde, as well as five draws in other matches, left us in a decent position as we travelled to Tannadice again, this time on League duty. Once again though our more illustrious neighbours were to prove to too strong for us as we went down bravely by 2-0.

We would play United for the fifth time on the 7th of January 2006, and we would lose yet again to the freaks, this time by 2-1. In between those meetings though we had hit a bad slump, losing five of our eight matches and although we still had our heads above water, we were slipping further and further into the relegation quagmuire.

Money was still tight, but if we wanted survive in the League it was clear we needed new faces. A host of fringe players were either released to free up wages or moved on for a nominal fee. Halfway through January greedy Gretna offered us £50,000 for Barry Roche and we happily accepted. That, coupled with a guaranteed £50,000 from the Scottish Cup helped ease our finances a little bit.

As one of the players to leave on a nominal fee was our other keeper Michael Brown - leaving us with just the teenage Bradley - we needed cover in that department as priority. We managed to locate two keepers who could do a job for us, and would cost only £5,000 for the pair. Former Arbroath keeper Mark Peat signed on from Albion Rovers, and then we took the back-page headlines as we signed former Rangers and Scotland keeper, the legendary Andy Goram, now an amazing 41 years old. Goram would also take on the role of assistant manager.

Another golden oldie to join the ranks was 38 year old Irish defender Alan Kernaghan who would also join the coaching team. We still needed cover at the back, and former Hibs defender Mark Dempie joined from Dumbarton for £4,000. Needed striking cover for the ailing Tosh and Shields, we managed to nab Jim Hamilton from Motherwell and went back to Dumbarton with another £14,000 to bring in Andy Rogers. The final signing for January was also from Dumbarton as we attempted to decimate their team, midfielder Joe Gold coming in for £7,000.

Hopefully these new faces, and especially the experience of the older players, would help us survive and pull free from our ever increasing relegation nightmare.

[Peacemaker7]

I feel I should appologize to those people who expected this story to be about a dog. It isn't. This story contains no dogs, unless you count the mention of that bitch who used to work at Smiths. If you have come here, being a dog lover then really, you need to get out more. Dogs smell.

But back to the football. Having met Dundee United twice already in cup ties this season, I swore I would kill the person who drew us out the hat if we drew them again. Thankfully we didn't. We drew Hearts.

The match with Hearts turned out to be Andy Gorams first in goals for us, and we got murdered 3-0. This wasn't entirely unexpected. A 2-1 defeat at Airdrie and then two successive 0-0 home draws saw us slip ever further back towards the Second Division. It was just a matter of the new faces fitting in though, and four wins from five before meeting Dundee United for the final time this season, eased the pressure somewhat.

Our last chance to take something for our derby for this season was to turn to heartache as we again lost by 1-0. United went all 36 league matches unbeaten, steamrollering their way back to the SPL and were very much a class above everyone else. After the defeat at Tannadice, we had seven matches left to play, and managed to win six. A draw with Queen of the South was our only slip up, as we hauled ourselves up the table and ended in a very respectable 3rd place in the table.

Although we have a squad that on the whole seems to be on the wrong side of 30, I am sure that - based on the way we have ended this season - we can put in a decent challenge next season and mibbe even have a shout of promotion. The bookies dont think so, as they have as ay 16/1 but yet even that is a much, much lower price and shows perhaps the strides we have made.

Finishing 3rd awarded us £175,000 and there was even more good news financially as we struck a new sponsorship deal worth just over £100,000 a year - a vast improvement on the insulting £12.5k deal we had previously. Things are looking good, and lets hope we can deliver our promise on the park.

Elsewhere in Scotland, the Old Firm again failed to lift the SPL title as Dundee were this seasons shock troops. Motherwell beat Hamilton in the League Cup Final, but Celtic managed to beat Aberdeen on penalties to win the Scottish. Which was a farce.

[Peacemaker7]

Scottish Football League Division One - 2005-2006

<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre">

| Pos | Inf | Team | | Pld | Won | Drn | Lst | For | Ag | G.D. | Pts |

| -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 1st | C | Dundee Utd | | 36 | 28 | 8 | 0 | 65 | 13 | +52 | 92 |

| -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 2nd | | Airdrie Utd | | 36 | 16 | 10 | 10 | 49 | 42 | +7 | 58 |

| -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 3rd | | Forfar | | 36 | 16 | 8 | 12 | 50 | 42 | +8 | 56 |

| -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 4th | | Morton | | 36 | 13 | 11 | 12 | 51 | 49 | +2 | 50 |

| -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 5th | | St. Mirren | | 36 | 12 | 9 | 15 | 39 | 41 | -2 | 45 |

| -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 6th | | Partick | | 36 | 9 | 14 | 13 | 34 | 38 | -4 | 41 |

| -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 7th | | Raith | | 36 | 8 | 15 | 13 | 41 | 49 | -8 | 39 |

| -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 8th | | Clyde | | 36 | 10 | 7 | 19 | 39 | 57 | -18 | 37 |

| -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 9th | R | Ross County | | 36 | 9 | 9 | 18 | 45 | 61 | -16 | 36 |

| -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 10th | R | Queen of Sth | | 36 | 9 | 9 | 18 | 48 | 69 | -21 | 36 |

| -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| | | | | | | | | | | | |

| -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

</pre>

[Peacemaker7]

Every couple of years or so we will round up the squad, just in case those of you with alzheimers have forgotten who it is I've bought and sold. Only one new player turned up at Station Park during the summer of 2006, that being former Motherwell and Aberdeen midfielder Derek Adams. The reason for this was partly because I felt that the team had played well enough towards the end of last season, and also that we were still only just about breaking even financially.

Andy Goram would remain our number one choice keeper. He had been playing reasonably well, although obviously at 42 years of age was well past his prime. I hoped he would last another season.

Mark Peat and teenager Adam Bradley remained as back ups. Peat was a decent enough keeper but I didnt have 100% confidence in him. Plus he had played for Arbroath. Bradley had made a handful of first team appearances and had done well enough, but there was no way I was pitting him into the starting line up on a regular basis. One bad game and it could ruin his career.

Speaking of youths - which we weren't - a lot of people were rabbiting on about our youth system and how it would be cheaper and easier to raise our own players. The fact is though that right now we cannot afford to run that much of a youth team. Most of the young players we get through our doors turn out to be utter pish and we end up wasting a fair few thousands on them. At the moment we have two players who came through our own youth set up that might, just might make a breakthrough someday or at least be good enough to be sold and claw back some of the money we have invested.

Gary Robertson is an 19 year old left back who can hit a good free kick. Averagely pacey, his big problem is his passing tend to let him down. He has a chance to make it, but not much of one. Steven Johnston is also 19, and plays as a central defender. He is an ok player, who tries his best but I can't even see him play for us unless we get relegated to the Highland League Division Five.

Back to the main squad then, and we find that Kieran McAnespie and Steve Florence still comprise the full back pairing. They have both been solid without being brilliant, and at 27 McAnespie can be with us a while longer and I'm happy for him to be so. Florence though is hitting 35 and is probably starting to think about retiring. His contract is up at the end of this season, and so far we haven't spoken about renewing it.

In the centre of the defence Alan Kernaghan, now almost 40, has done a good job in captaining the side, but has announced that he will be retiring at the end of this season. Eddie Forrest is still with us, and 28 he is another who can be around for a few more years yet. Ryan McGuffie, a 26 year old we signed from Gretna, can play in the defence or the midfield which is handy.

[Peacemaker7]

Appologies, I had to take a very important phone call. I can't tell you what it was about, or who it was from - but a certain Palace in a big English town. wink, wink, nudge, nudge.

So where were we? Ah yes just rounding up the remains of the defence. Mark Dempsie has struggled to make the breakthrough, appearing only a few times for us and although he hasn't really done that badly he just isn't holding down his place. Wimp.

Derek Adams arrival is a boost to the midfield. He is a good solid player, and will help us a lot. Paul Bernard, another who, approaching 34, is at the latter end of his career and who probably won't be with us next season, continues to keep the midfield holding role in front of the back two. Young McGuffie can play here too if needed, and we also have young Joe Gold. Scott Bannerman can also be utilised here or at right back. Although he mainly operates on the bench. Or the stand.

Ian Morris, now 25, is doing a fine job in the attacking midfield role behind the strikers. He contributed 8 goals and 11 assists last season in his 40 appearance, not brilliant but its something. Alongside Adams, you will pro bably find Welshman [/b]Mike Flynn[/b] who is 25, going on 26. He has done very well for us since his arrival from Wigan and is a key part of the team now.

Other midfielders are ex-Rangers youngster Alex Walker (22) who has to be honest, failed to make that much of an impact. Barry Sellars is of course still very much a key member of the squad and it gives us a good bit of competition for places. Philip Creaney has kind of fallen out of favour and we are trying to offload him, but so far no-one wants him.

Up front, Jim Hamilton has come in and scored 10 goals in 15 starts which is pretty impressive. Paul Tosh generally partners Hamilton, 12 goals in 35 matches last season though isn't the most prolific of strike rates. With only six goals from 23 starts, Paul Shields has found himself fallen from grace with the arrival of Hamilton and has his work cut out to regain his place.

It is not a massive squad so we will have to hope we steer clear of too many injuries and suspensions. After a good third place finish, we won't be the unknown team that everyone expects to thrash this season, and so that will provide us with a different a challenge.

Which is nice.

[Peacemaker7]

The Portuguese were back for more Bridies. After Porto had feasted on Forfar hospitality last season, Benfica decided they would like a wee shot also. AEK Larnaca of Cyprus, Atletico Madrid's B team and Dundee made up the rest of the pre season line up. A rusty performance against rhe Cypriots, Paul Tosh grabbed the only goal after 42 minutes. It wasn't great, but then we didn't need to be great at this stage did we.

The B side of Madrids second team arrived and after 2 minutes stunned the crowd with a goal. Six minutes later Ian Morris pulled us level and then late goals from Jim Hamilton and Paul Shields saw us ease to a comfortable win, and it was good to see a few varied names on the score sheet. The bigger matches offered more of a challenge, but things were looking good as we raced to an 2-0 lead over Dundee inside 10 minutes - Hamilton and Morris the scorers. Dundee though were not here to be beaten and goals from Steve Lovell in both halfs pulled them level. Just after the hour Tosh sent us ahead, but we were denied a good win eight minutes from time as Dundee gained a draw. Nevertheless and encouraging work out and more encouragement was to come as we squared up to Portuguese legends Benfica. After a goalless first half, Mantorras sent Benfica into the lead two minutes after half time, but just before the hour Paul Bernard was the many who grabbed us another moral boosting draw.

The season for real got underway with a Challenge Cup match at home to Montrose which we won comfortably enough by 2-0 to set up a meeting with Queen's Park at Hampden. Just over 1500 people were crammed into the 50,000 seater and just three minutes had gone when Ian Morris sent us into the lead. Mike Flynn added a second just before halftime, and six minutes from the end of a game we had easily controlled Paul Shields wrapped it all up.

For the first time under my command we had progressed to the 3rd round of the Challenge cup and were starting to believe might win this. Kilmarnock at home, and a boring and frustrating 0-0 draw after extra time and the dirty Killie went through on penalties. Its a crap competition anyway.

In the League Cup, Ayr were our first round opponents, and they were easily seen off by 3-0. High flying, money laden, ambitious Gretna were in round 2, but an Ian Morris goal on the hour put paid to those wide boys. The 3rd round gave us a tough trip to SPL side Inverness, and although Eddie Forest was the only player to score, he did so in the wrong net and we tumbled out after a brave performance. Another stupid cup out of the way.

And so once again, we could give the league our full attention until the new year.

[Peacemaker7]

With the minor, meaningless cups gone to clubs that didn't deserve them, our league campaign continued apace. Last season, Dundee United had stormed Division One, not giving anyone much of a chance. This season though, things were a lot tighter. There was no real outstanding team, and as such the league was extremely tight. By the end of the year we found ourselves sitting proudly at the top of the Division. Not that we hadn't had our moments of despair. A 5-2 loss at Falkirk had been a bit of a blow at the time, and we had also been gubbed 3-0 in Kilmarnock. Defeats against Morton and St Mirren were also most unwelcome.

Yet of course we also had our highs, especially a magnificent 5-1 annihilation of Partick Thistle, the first time we had scored five goals under my charge. In the Scottish Cup, we finally managed to get a 3rd round draw that wasn't against SPL oppostition, and duly beat Queen of the South by 2-1 to progess past the 3rd round for the the first time under my charge. Seems like this was a season for firsts.

The draw for the 4th round set us up with the dream tie against Celtic. The problem was, it was at Station Park. A capacity crowd of 4600 watched our game of the season, and there was an air of inevitability when Stephen Pearson sent the holders ahead after just 12 minutes. We settled down though, and gave Celtic more than a fight for their money and with just over a minute till the interval, Derek Adams hit a quite wonderful 30 yard drive to level the match. The home fans were still celebrating when from the kick off Stillian Petrov sent Celtic back into the lead, where they stayed. Overall, a decent show from us and a nice reward of £75,000.

January was another busy time for us in the transfer market. Andy Goram and Alan Kernaghan both decided that they would retire from playing forthwith, rather than wait till the end of the season. Which was bloody nice of them. Mark Dempsie went to Falkirk for £10,000. Andy Rogers, who had been rather hot and cold, was sent to Kilmarnock for £8,000 and we finally got rid of Philip Creaney to Arbroath for no fee. Greedy Gretna struck again as they made a £100,000 offer for Barry Sellars which we couldn't refuse.

With Goram now not playing, that meant we had a bit of a minor keeping crises. £3,000 secured the services of 26 year old Slovenian Dino Seremet from Luton as a replacement. Finish international prospect, Toni Koskela (24) came in from Cardiff for £30,000. Koskela can play up front or in the midfield. Three youngsters also arrived at the club as we looked to bring down the average age of the squad.

Central defender Graeme Watson (20), arrived from Rangers for £4,000, Welsh U-21 attacker Peter Ferris (17) came in from Morton for £3,000 and 19 year old English striker Ryan Barnes was brought in from Bolton for £35,000. Barnes was a decent prospect, but despite his higher price tag, his place was in the youth side for now.

Whether it was the excitment/anti climax of playing Celtic, whether it was the new face or whether it was just the reality that we were actually crap but after the Cup tie with Celtic we started to stutter. A draw with Clyde and losses to Airdrie and Falkirk allowed the later to move to the top of the table, where they were to stay. Draws with Partick and Clyde seemed to have totally blown our hopes, but with Falkirk also drawing, we were still in touch as the other sides in what had once been a six team race fell away.

With four games left to play, we travelled to Kircaldy and could only draw with struggling Raith Rovers. The result became worse when the news came through that Falkirk had lost at Clyde. The gap with three to play was four points. This was a title we could have won and lost over and over, but we were still just about in the race and when Falkirk lost in Airdrie on the penultimate weekend, the First Division race was going to the wire.

Whilst Falkirk were hosting St Mirren on the final day, we were also at home - ironically enough against Airdrie. All we could do was win and pray....

[Peacemaker7]

Of course, we didn't just have to hope and pray. There so much more we could do. So much more I could do. Ok, well one thing I could do.

In the cupboard under the stairs, in a tattered olc box, was the lamp in which had lived the Genie who brought me here. Excitedly, I extracted it from where it had lain, and rubber it hard. Immediately, a puff of smoke arose, and there before me stood the Genie.

'I am the Genie of the.... oh it's you again, what d'you want?'

'Erm what about, your wish is my command?'

'Well thats a very kind offer' The Genie smiled, 'But I wasn't aware you could grant wishes. I wish to be free from this Lamp for one thing.'

'No, no, no. I'm not offering you a wish. I've come to ask you to grant me another one'

'Well I must say, that's very selfish of you.'

'Yeah whatever. Look I'll make a promise to you. Grant me the wish that we win the League, and I'll never bother you again.'

'Very well' the Genie sighed, and once more dissapeared with a poof - who looked remarkably like Julian Clarey.

I was therefore quite confident that we would sipping champagne by the time the final whistle went. After all, teams had blown titles before on last days, so it wasn't really that difficult a wish. It wasn't as if we were 100 points behind. Twenty five minutes gone, and as we struggled to break down a stubborn Airdrie, news filtered through that Falkirk had taken the lead against St Mirren. The groan around the ground was audible. Airdrie continued to frustrate us and we went in at half time goalless, to the news that Falkirk had scored a second in injury time.

Four minutes into the second half, we finally got the goal we needed if we were going to cash in on Falkirk slipping up, youngster Peter Ferris with his 8th goal in 16 matches. There was no further news seeping through from Falkirk as we finished the season with a flurry. Goals in 83 and 89 minutes from Derek Adams and Ian Morris finally wrapped up a fine win, and we had done our part. Now, all we needed to hear was that St Mirren had scored three times, and we were Champions.

Finally we got news from Falkirk. The home side had won 2-0, and we had failed. I simply couldn't believe it. The Genie had lied to me. I vowed that as soon as I got home, I would build a bonfire and burn that damn lamp. That would teach the lying git.

[Peacemaker7]

Scottish First Division - 2006-2007

<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre">

| Pos | Inf | Team | | Pld | Won | Drn | Lst | For | Ag | G.D. | Pts |

| ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 1st | C | Falkirk | | 36 | 19 | 11 | 6 | 54 | 31 | +23 | 68 |

| ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 2nd | | Forfar | | 36 | 20 | 7 | 9 | 59 | 34 | +25 | 67 |

| ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 3rd | | Airdrie Utd | | 36 | 15 | 11 | 10 | 37 | 37 | 0 | 56 |

| ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 4th | | Partick | | 36 | 15 | 9 | 12 | 66 | 55 | +11 | 54 |

| ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 5th | | Kilmarnock | | 36 | 14 | 10 | 12 | 45 | 36 | +9 | 52 |

| ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 6th | | Morton | | 36 | 13 | 8 | 15 | 56 | 61 | -5 | 47 |

| ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 7th | | Clyde | | 36 | 12 | 10 | 14 | 49 | 56 | -7 | 46 |

| ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 8th | | St. Mirren | | 36 | 9 | 12 | 15 | 39 | 50 | -11 | 39 |

| ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 9th | R | Hamilton | | 36 | 8 | 11 | 17 | 28 | 45 | -17 | 35 |

| ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 10th | R | Raith | | 36 | 6 | 9 | 21 | 34 | 62 | -28 | 27 |

| ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| | | | | | | | | | | | |

| ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

</pre>

[HD]

bloody genies, not worth the lamps they come in.

[Peacemaker7]

The following season was a bit of a crazy one in many ways. Scoring, for instance, seemed virtually impossible at one point - after 10 games we had just seven goals, even though we were 2nd in the table. Our performances for a long spell were far from consistant, but on reflection that may be down to a bigger than usual player turn over. Out the way went Alex Walker to St Mirren, Paul Bernard to Alloa, Steve Florence on a free, Joe Gold to Kilmarnock and the one that probably upset us the most in terms of goalscoring as Paul Shields was nabbed by Hibs.

A whole host of new players arrived through the Station Park doors, but that was more to do with our decision to try and run a fully augmented youth team, after last seasons success in lifting the U-19 title with only 2 actual (semi) professional players. The players we brought in were mainly discards from other clubs, and we would only be having them on a part time basis, paying them 30-50 quid a week, but it was an experiment we hoped would bear, and one that indeed did so in a quite spectacular way.

Cups don't seem to be my forte as a manager, and as we crashed out of the Challenge Cup 1st round on penalties to St Mirren, and then were humiliated in the League Cup 1st round 2-0 at Third Division Cowdenbeath, there was a part of me that wondered if we shouldn't just give up these silly competitions as a bad joke. We were blowing hot and cold in the league, winning one week and the losing the next. Yet we still maintained a title challenge, because the truth was, no-one was really taking charge of the league. Amazingly, by the time the New Year came again, we were once more on top of the table. Exactly how we got there was a mystery to me, becuase there had been times when I wondered just what the hell we were playing at - it certainly wasn't football.

But the story of how we got there, the player who was largely responsible and the tale of what happened to him will have to wait for another time.......

[Peacemaker7]

Apart from the teenagers who were brought in for slave wages, one or two other players arrives who would have a significant part to play in the first team. Midfielder Danny Boshell (26) arrived from Margate for £4,000 and we picked up young Italian Starlet Michael Bacher (18), from Alto Adige for £24,000. Both these players would become key members of the starting eleven this season. Another young midfielder, Simon Baker (19), came in from Blackburn for £16,000 but although he made a handful of first team appearances, he was a player for the future.

Leon Clarke was signed from Lincoln for £14,000 but just three goals in 15 matches from the striker simply wasn't good enough and we cut our losses and sold him to Plymouth for just £5000. In an attempt to solve our scoring problems, teenager Ryan Barnes who had been scoring well with the youth team, found himself promoted to the first team a bit earlier than expected. Yet perhaps the step up was just a bit too much, or perhaps he was just rubbish after all as he managed only 2 goals in 16 matches and was eventually sold to Bournemouth for a 3rd of the price we had bought him for.

Back in the youth team, another young player was banging in the goals for fun, and so 18 year old Graeme Ritchie, who had come in on a free after being released by Charlton, was given his chance to shine with the big boys. A hattrick on he debut at home to Queen of the South showed that this boy did indeed have promise. Nine goals in eight matches helped push us to the top of the table ahead of Gretna and St Johnstone. And then disaster struck.

A weeek to go until the January transfer window closed, I got a call from Blackburn manager Terry Gennoe.

'Hi its Terry Gennoe here, manager of Blackburn Rovers. We'd like to buy your young striker Graeme Ritchie.'

'Would you indeed, well you see thing is, he's not for sale.'

'We're offering £250,000'

'Erm bugger, well, erm ok we'll have to think about it.'

But really there was nothing to think about. We simply could not afford to turn down such a lucicrous bid. I was nearly in tears as we kissed our promotion goodbye with the sale of the only player who seemed to be able to score goals. We did bring in Gary Wales for £2,000 from Dundee United but he failed to make much impact with just one goal in 15 matches. In the end, we once more had to settle for 2nd place as Gretna pipped us to the title and we destined for another season in the First Division.

There was some success though, as the under 19 team reached the final of the Youth Cup, repaying our faith in having a fully fledged youth system. On the day though, despite opening the scoring through Peter Ferris, who was a first team regular, it just proved too much as we ended up losing 2-1 to Aberdeen. But a brave try from the kids.

[Peacemaker7]

Scottish First Division 2007-2008

<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre">

| Pos | Inf | Team | | Pld | Won | Drn | Lst | For | Ag | G.D. | Pts |

| ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 1st | C | Gretna | | 36 | 19 | 9 | 8 | 47 | 21 | +26 | 66 |

| ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 2nd | | Forfar | | 36 | 18 | 9 | 9 | 46 | 26 | +20 | 63 |

| ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 3rd | | St. Johnstone | | 36 | 17 | 10 | 9 | 64 | 47 | +17 | 61 |

| ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 4th | | Kilmarnock | | 36 | 13 | 12 | 11 | 42 | 42 | 0 | 51 |

| ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 5th | | Partick | | 36 | 14 | 8 | 14 | 40 | 37 | +3 | 50 |

| ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 6th | | Clyde | | 36 | 13 | 10 | 13 | 56 | 59 | -3 | 49 |

| ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 7th | | St. Mirren | | 36 | 12 | 11 | 13 | 39 | 45 | -6 | 47 |

| ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 8th | | Airdrie Utd | | 36 | 11 | 9 | 16 | 36 | 48 | -12 | 42 |

| ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 9th | R | Morton | | 36 | 11 | 6 | 19 | 45 | 55 | -10 | 39 |

| ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 10th | R | Queen of Sth | | 36 | 6 | 8 | 22 | 31 | 66 | -35 | 26 |

| ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| | | | | | | | | | | | |

| ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

</pre>

[Peacemaker7]

Although the new season came around with me having more money to spend than ever before - around £150,000 - there wasn't an awful lot of activity on the transfer market for us, mainly because no-one want to come who would improve our squad. Well, almost no-one.

There were two big talking points of the summer of 2008 that got Forfar a bit more coverage in the press than usual. Firstly the arrival of former Nigerian international, Jay Jay Okocha. Jay Jay was retiring from football at the end of the year, but we hoped to persuade the 34 year old to stay on until at least the end of the season. The other big talking point was my sacking of assistant manager, Andy Goram. Quite frankly, when you find your assistant manager conducting a training session wearing only womens underwear and stoned out his brain, its time for him to go. So Andy went, and I told him he could keep my bra and panties, I didn't want them back.

The squad then looked like this:

In goal would be Slovenian Dino Seremet (27). In his two seasons at the club so far, he had played 57 matches and made 27 shut outs, which is a decent enough record. Although he was only signed as a stop gap to replace Goram, Seremet has become a popular and vital player at the club. Back up keepers Callum Reidford (21) and Neil Inglis (33) have both still to make their debuts with the Slovenian being so impressive.

At right back, twenty eight year old Englishman Stephen Purches came in last season from Wrexham for £4,000. A good solid season in which he made 35 appearance and was captain of the side. Deputy at right back is Dean Keenan (22), who also made 35 appearance after signing from Morton for £14,000. He can play in the centre as well, which has helped him get so much play time.

The left back slot is still occupied by one of my first signing, 28 year old Kieran McAnespie. Now in his fifth season at the club, Kieran has racked up 133 appearances and is a big favourite with the fans. Deputy left back Gary Robertson (21), is a product of the youth system. He has managed only four appearances in the first team so far, and is starting to get restless. He is a decent player who should be able to make a living from the game, but he will never make it at the highest level.

In the centre of the defence is the only player who remains from the squad from before I arrived that being 29 year old Eddie Forest. He will make his 150th appearance for the club in the opening match of the season. Partnering Eddie will be new signing Scott

Wilson (26), formerly of Motherwell, Airdrie, Clyde and Livingston from whom we signed him for £40,000. With such a relatively high price tag in terms of this club, a lot is expected from him.

Cover at the back comes from 23 year old English man Chris Seeby, 21 year old Chris Robertson both of whom arrived this summer, and 22 year old former Rangers youth Graeme Watson. Graeme has flitted in and out the team and has made just 23 appearances in his two seasons at the club.

Ninteen year old Italian starlet Michael Bacher takes up the holding role in front of the defence. He has a devastating free kick, but probably needs to control it more to benefit from it. Five goals in 31 appearances last year, but it could be more. Back up here comes from 28 year Ryan McGuffie, who can also slot into the centre of the defence if needed. Starting his 4th season at the club, McGuffie has made 31 appearances in total.

Jay Jay Okocha will slot into the midfield beside young Englishman Simon Baker (20) who arrived after being released by Blackburn last season, which he spent most of in the youth team, although he did manage six first team appearances. Ninteen year old Peter Ferris will play in the 'hole' behind the front two in the midfield diamond. Ferris has made 56 appearances over three season, claiming 24 goals. His contract though is up at the end of the season, and as he is unwilling to sign a new one, chances are he will be on the move sooner rather than later.

Other midfielders at the club are Danny Boshell (27), who played 37 times last season, Derek Adams (33) who has played 48 times in his two seasons, Welshman Mike Flynn (27) who had appeared 90 times in his four season, and Ian Morris (26) who has 143 appearances in four years, and has bagged 49 goals.

Up front, Gary Wales (29), who was once a promising player at Hearts, came in last season in January but only 1 goal in 15 appearances if far from impressive. New signing Colin Boylan (25), comes in from Peterhead for £35,000. In four years there, he scored 69 goals in 146 appearances, and hopefully he can do a similiar or better job here.

Clearly we still need depth up front, but all round the team is certainly looking good and we would expect once more to challenge for promotion. In pre season wins over Brighton (3-0) and Arsenal Reserves (4-0), Jay Jay Okocha in particular has looked impressive and he sure to have a big impact on the First Division.

[HD]

Nice signing

[Peacemaker7]

Who, Gary Wales

[Peacemaker7]

Cups are something that until now we have had little success in under my management. Partly due to getting tough draws, and partly due to not caring. A 4-0 win over Peterhead, Colin Boylan bagging a brace against his former club and other goals from Peter Ferris, and quite amazingly, Gary Wales, didn't alert us to the possibility of any kind of success. After all, Peterhead are pish.

Boylan was on target again in the second round at Stenhousemuir, Ferris grabbing a brace this time in an easy 3-0 win and we had gotten as far as we ever had in the last five years. Things were starting to look a tad interesting, and a home draw with Dumbarton in the last eight held no fears for us.

Part of the reason that such a tie would hold no fears, was the scintillating start we had made to the season. There were two reasons for this. Firstly, there is no doubt Jay Jay Okocha was having an immense influence on the side, and also and perhaps not unrelated - we were scoring goals. Colin Boylan was providing them, but so were other players such as Jay Jay and astonishingly even Gary Wales seemed to remember where the goal was as we won our first four matches with comparative ease.

Right on the verge of the transfer deadline though, we were to lose Peter Ferris - a £250,000 bid from Livingston too good to turn down and off he went. This left us with a bit of a crises as we prepared for our League Cup 2nd round match with Stirling. An injury to Gary Wales meant we only had two forward players, and we needed new blood. On the very last day of the transfer window, as time ran out, we finally located two forwards who we thought would help our push for success. The problem was, one was injured for a few days and one was suspended which meant neither could play in the Cup tie anyway - a match we still won 2-0 thanks to a Colin Boylan brace.

There was probably only a slight ripple of excitement amongst the Forfar support when we announced the capture of former Rangers and Hibs striker Stephen Dobbie (26) from Gretna for the fee of £8,000. Dobbie though would go on to have a significant impact in the season ahead, as would our other signing on the last day. That name though probably caused a few fans to cum in their pants, and possibly even a few had heart attacks and died as we announced the capture of Totti.

[Peacemaker7]

Sadly, for the people who died and those who needed to wash their underpants, Totti wasn't of Italian origin. He was in fact, Artistoteles de Carvalho a 20 year old Portuguese. He was though, still a half decent player and would do well for us in the season ahead before being stolen by Hibs. Bastards.

The Challenge Cup run didn't come to an end against Dumbarton as Jay Jay and Dobbie fired us to a 2-0 win and a Semi Final appearance against Airdrie United. A 5-0 thrashing of Raith, followed by a 2-0 win in Falkirk meant we had won our first seven games, losing only one goal in the process. Totti was the man in the Semi, two late strikes sending us to a Final against Partick Thistle. Airdrie though were to get their revenge in the very next match as they ended our winning streak with a 2-1. They and Falkirk would be our main rivals this season, although by the time we met Celtic in an FA Cup 4th round tie at Celtic Park, we were 20 points clear at the top of the First Division.

A 3-0 win over Queen's Park in the League Cup set us up with a tough few days. The 3rd round draw paired us with Rangers at home, and then we had the Challenge Cup Final with Partick at East End Park, Dunfermline. A brilliant Colin Boylan solo effort after just five minutes stunned the then Premier League leaders Rangers, but they were level just before the half hour. Nevertheless, we put in an excellent shift, and the match ended 1-1 after extra time. A dissapointing penalty shoot out though saw us miss three from five and Rangers it was who went through.

Seventeen minutes into the Challenge Cup Final, we fell behind to a Panther goal. It wasn't looking like our day as we went in at half time that goal down. Ten minutes after the break though, Jay Jay equalised and as we grew in domination, Eddie Forest of all people sent us into the lead with 20 minutes left. Into stoppage time, it looked like the cup was ours until stupid defending let Partick score with the final kick of the ball. Extra time produced nothing and for the second time in a week we had a penalty shoot out - and for the second time in a week we lost. Bugger.

We didn't lose another game though for the rest of the year, although we did lose Jay Jay Okocha who decided he'd had enough and hung up his boots. We also lost Simon Baker, after Everton offered us half of one million pounds for him. At Celtic Park, without our star duo, we went behing after 19 minutes. The Celtic support though were silenced on the half hour as Stephen Dobbie danced through their defence to pull us level. For 30 minutes, it seemed like we might just managed to get a result, but as tiredness set in the home side and now league leaders, scored three times and our cup dream was over.

Whether it was the loss of the match to Celtic so heavily, or whether it was the impact of losing such quality in our midfield - the capture of youngster Steven Lennon from Rangers hardly made up for the two we had lost - but suddenly we hit the skids. A 1-1 home draw with Raith folled by defeats at St Mirren and Falkirk and there were minor panick stations. A superb 5-1 win over Airdrie in what was billed as the title decider settled our nerves and after disposing of Partick, we went into a home match with bottom side Queen's Park just needing to win to reach the SPL. A poor draw wasn't enough to keep Queen's up as they were officially relegated, but a draw between Falkirk and Airdrie meant the title was ours after all.

Our end of season form was far from impressive, and meant we had a fair bit to worry about regards survival in the SPL, but we would worry about that later. Right now was time to celebrate as Forfar Athletic had arrived in the top flight for the first time ever.

[Peacemaker7]

Scottish First Division - 2008/2009

<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre">

| Pos | Inf | Team | | Pld | Won | Drn | Lst | For | Ag | G.D. | Pts |

| ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 1st | C | Forfar | | 36 | 25 | 7 | 4 | 75 | 24 | +51 | 82 |

| ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 2nd | | Airdrie Utd | | 36 | 16 | 10 | 10 | 52 | 50 | +2 | 58 |

| ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 3rd | | Falkirk | | 36 | 16 | 9 | 11 | 49 | 33 | +16 | 57 |

| ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 4th | | Partick | | 36 | 16 | 6 | 14 | 50 | 45 | +5 | 54 |

| ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 5th | | Kilmarnock | | 36 | 16 | 5 | 15 | 50 | 46 | +4 | 53 |

| ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 6th | | Clyde | | 36 | 13 | 13 | 10 | 44 | 44 | 0 | 52 |

| ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 7th | | St. Johnstone | | 36 | 12 | 9 | 15 | 39 | 44 | -5 | 45 |

| ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 8th | | Raith | | 36 | 8 | 18 | 10 | 26 | 32 | -6 | 42 |

| ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 9th | R | St. Mirren | | 36 | 5 | 14 | 17 | 25 | 49 | -24 | 29 |

| ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 10th | R | Queen's Park | | 36 | 4 | 7 | 25 | 24 | 67 | -43 | 19 |

| ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| | | | | | | | | | | | |

| ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

</pre>

[Spav]

Nice work PM7, now let's see how Forfar handle the SPL.

[Peacemaker7]

Thanks Spav. In reality we should be relegated, but past experience tells me we'll finish top 6

Not that I want to be relegated you understand

[Peacemaker7]

Most people of course expected us to be relegated, and thought we'd be lucky to get double figures in points. A lot of this opinion though was just based on pure ignorance, without really studying our team. But then, that's nothing new with the Scottish media regards what they percieve to be a small and pointless team.

The sales from last season, added to by the sale of Totti to Hibs, which didn't go down too well with the Forfar fans who believed we should have gotten far more than the measly £160,000 we did get. They were, of course, absolutely correct, but such is the way with clauses in contracts and there was nothing we could do about it. Scott Wilson also left the club in a £250,000 deal to Dundee, youth midfielder Craig Ritchie - who had managed five first team appearances for us and hadn't done too badly - went to Clyde for £120,000 and on the last day of the transger window in August Dundee United and Aberdeen both offered £500,000 for Dino Seremet. Such an offer was beyond refusal and in the end Dino went to United. He didn't like sheepshaggers either.

The income from players sales, plus the £1M from TV rights meant the club was in the healthiest position financially it had ever been with over £2.5M in the bank and I had over £1M to spend. Yet despite such wealth, I wasn't for rushing out and just buying anyone. Apart from picking up 14 youth players who had been released from their clubs - to add to the five local boys who had joined us - I spent only £210,000 on bringing in new players to improve the squad the season ahead. Of course that was still far more than we had ever spent before.

Three players were signed from Rangers - goalie Scott Murray, defender Steve Evans and attacker Manuel Serrano. Also coming in would be left back Ross Forsyth from Falkirk and midfielders David Fox from Hull and the return of Joe Gold from Inverness. It was hard to know just how the side would go, given that we hadn't had that much experience against SPL sides. However we did have a few players who had played at the top level before, and their experience would be invaluable.

The pre season matches told us a mixed story. Struggling to beat Partick (2-1), late goals giving us a 3-1 win over Alloa and an unimpressive 2-0 win in Gateshead didn't fill us with confidence. Racing to a 2-0 lead over English Championship side Crystal Palace, winning 2-1 in the end, and a good 2-2 draw with English Premiership team Blackburn were more encouraging results - but really it all just proved that pre season games are meaningless and the real test would come when Hearts came to Station Park on the opening day. Then we would find out exactly what the situation was.

[Peacemaker7]

With the dodgy dealing done and dusted, we had our squad of players in place that would lead us to SPL glory. Or more likely, back to the First Division. Actually, I believed we would cause more than a few shocks this season, and we could gain a top six finish. But I was probably setting us up for a fall.

The departure of Dino Seremet meant we needed a new face between the sticks. In comes 21 year old Scott Murray from Rangers for a club record fee of £80,000. Murray is a decent enough young keeper and is the current Scotland U-21 goalie, with 30 U-21 caps to his name. Another former Rangers player, Callum Reidford (22), who has 5 U-21 caps, continues to provide back up. Reidford finally got two starts last season, and performed adequately. Teenagers Chris Brookes and Colin Matthews battle it out for the 3rd choice if needed. But if we do need them, we are probably screwed.

Stephen Purches, now 29, continues as first choice right back. With 66 appearances for the club in two years, he has established himself as a favourite with the fans, and a bit of an unsung hero. Having started his career at West Ham, before moving to Bournemouth and the Wrexham, Purches will be glad to finally get the chance to prove himself at a higher level. Twenty three year old Dean Keenan continues as back up.

At left back, the now 29 year old Kieran McAnespie had another good season and when you think he cost only £1000 you can see what a bargain that was, having now played 168 times for the first team. Back up left back is new signing Ross Forsyth (26). Ross went to Falkirk last season from St Johnstone - ironically the same club McAnespie started at - for £100,000 but failed to make the grade their and we picked him for a mere £2000. I feel he can be a decent player for us.

Eddie Forest continues to hold down a place in the centre of the defence as he approaches his 200th appearance for the club. This season he will have a new partner, with the arrival of 23 year old Welshman Steven Evans from Rangers for £70,000. With 23 U-21 caps to his name, Evans will be hoping to secure a first team berth at Forfar and finally break into the full Welsh side having failed to establish himself with the Glasgow club. Back up in the centre is provided by Graeme Watson (23), and Dean Keenan can also play in the centre.

Young Italian Michael Bacher, now twenty, continues his role as the holding player in the midfield and is backed up by 29 year old Ryan McGuffie, who can of course also play in the centre of the defence. New signings David Fox (25), from Hull at the cost of £12,000 and Joe Gold, also 25, who returns from Inverness for just £2000, can also play the holding role although they are likely to play further forward if needed.

Danny Boshell, now 28 and Mike Flynn, also 28, will play in the central midfield roles.Both solid hard working players, they shouldn't be out of place in the SPL. Twenty one year old Steven Lennon also provides back up here.

Another new face arrives to fill the attacking midfield role supporting the front two. Twenty two year old Spaniard Manuel Serrano comes in from Rangers for £45,000. Captures by the Gers from Barcelona on a free, Serrano failed to make any impact there and hopes he can start afresh with us. Ian Morris (27), continues to be a more than adequate back up.

Up front we have what was the hottest strike force in the First Division, and what I hope will continue to be so in the SPL. Bids of near £1M have been knocked back for both the strikers, and the fact we can afford to do so shows how far we have come. Colin Boylan's ninteen goals and fourteen assists helped the 26 year old to the Supporters Player of the Year Award. His scoring feats though were eclipsed by his strike partner Stephen Dobbie (27), who hit the back of the net 20 times. Gary Wales (30), finally found his scoring boots, bagging 14 goals last season and he will be hoping to get the chance to add to that in the season ahead.

We haven't spent wads of cash as we look to the players who took us up to keep us there. If they fail however, I do have that nice was of £1.3M notes to spend. Hopefully we won't be needing it.

[Peacemaker7]

1st of August 2009, Hearts came to Station Park, Forfar. Our first ever match in top flight league football. With our crumbling main stand that held 739 people, and our rickety terracings on which allowed 3863 lucky people to stand on them, this was hardly a footballing palace. Indeed, there were some places in time and space where such a stadium would not have been allowed to disgrace the high faluting sensibilities of the SPL. This, thankfully, wasn't one of them.

Hearts had been doing not too badly over the past couple of seasons. Having narrowly avoided relegation in 2007, they had finished 3rd twice in a row now and two seasons ago they had lifted the Scottish FA Cup with a 2-1 win over Dundee United. Their first trophy for 10 years. This then would be a decent test of our credentials, although defeat would not be a disaster. There were worse teams than Hearts in the SPL to take survival points from.

Just sixteen minutes into the match, and Colin Boylan sent the home support into ecstacy as we took the lead in a match we were very much in control of. A minute after half time, Stephen Dobbie felt he had better score as well and we were well on the way to a surprise three points. Hearts were looking a poor and disorganised side, and would get off to a very poor start which would result in the sacking of their current manager, Jim Duffy. Diego Mejia did manage to pull a goal back for the Edinburgh side with 12 minutes left to play, but this was our party and no-one was going to spoil it.

Still on a high, we travelled the short trip to Dens Park for our first away match in the SPL. Four seasons ago, Dundee had been crowned SPL Champions and they had gone on to become the first Scots side outwith the Old Firm to qualify for the group stages of the Champions League. The past couple of seasons though had seend Dundee slip back to mediocrity under the management of Jim Jeffries, finishing 7th and 6th in the league.

We expected a tough match, but not quite the excitement we got. After an even opening half hour, referee Dougie Smith awarded us a penalty when Serrano was adjudged to have been fouled in the box. Stephen Dobbie thundered the spot kick past Dundee keeper Allan McGregor and we took a 1-0 lead into the dressing room at half time for the second week in a row. Five minutes after the restart, Dundee were level but any thoughts they had of seeing up the upstarts were quickly forgotten as Steven Evans restored out lead just three minutes later. Dundee were level again on 66 minutes, but if our team were showing nothing else it was a determination to succeed, and on 73 minutes substitute Ian Morris grabbed what turned out to be the winner and after two matches we sat on stupidly proud on top of the SPL, the only side with a 100% record.

Our 100% record went on the line next back at Station Park against Aberdeen in what turned out to be an utterly incredible match. The Sheepshaggers had done nothing of note in recent times, struggling to keep themselves in the top division and just barely manageing that on occasion. Mark McGhee had taken over from Jimmy Calderwood in 2008, but a new head Ram hadn't changed the Sheeps fortunes.

Referee Mark Wilson was to be the star of this match and make a lot of the headlines in the Sunday papers. With just 20 minutes gone, he delivered a severe dent to our chances as he rather ludicrously red carded Danny Boshell. Yet the anger from the Boshell farce had barely subsided when he decided to even things up, and with 30 minutes gone, Aberdeen's Michael Hart was red carded. Another ten minutes passed, another red card, as Aberdeen were reduced to 9 men and this was quickly becoming one of the most farcical games of football I had ever seen.

No goals come half time, but plenty of talking points. Aberdeen were looking shell shocked as the second half started, and it was no surprise when Colin Boylan finally broke the deadlock with an hour gone. On 70 minutes he added a game winning second goal, and nine minutes from time Stephen Dobbie added a third just to make to sure. It was a comprehensive victory, but the referee wasn't done yet and in injury time he red carded Aberdeen's Michael Stewart to send the Sheep home wagging their tails behind them.

Forfar sat atop the SPL. We knew it couldn't last, but for now we were the best side in Scotland.....

[Peacemaker7]

If our start to the season had been breathtaking so far, it wasn't about to become any less so as we travelled to a Livingston team still managed by Richard Gough. Livingston had finished in the bottom six every year since 2002, and so of course this game was being billed as a crucial one for our survival chances, even this early in the season. Just eight minutes into the match, Mike Flynn fired us into the lead, and thats how things stood at halftime. Livi levelled though on 56 minutes through Mark Rickets, but Boylan restored our lead after 65, and then extended it to 3-1 on 72 minutes after Livi had missed a chance to equalize from the penalty spot. Livi did get a second on 81 minutes, but with a minute to go Colin Boylan became the first player in over six years to hit an SPL hattrick and the points were secured. The scoring though wasn't over as Livingston grabbed a 3rd in injury time, but the win was ours and it was four wins out of four.

Celtic were the visitors to Station Park for our fifth match of the season, and I was stunned to see their manager, Roy Aitken saying nice things about me in the press. I always hated Aitken as a player. The match against the current Champions was a tight one, but a 7th minute strike from Noel Hunt ended our unbeaten SPL record. At Easter Road against Willie Donachie managed Hibs, we put up another brave show, but in the end were to lose out by two goals to one, and slip from the top of the table.

So far we had played well, but at home to Dundee United, managed by Gordon Strachan, we were woeful and got trounced 3-0. Our bubble had well and truly burst.

[Peacemaker7]

Yet if people had been thinking we were now going slip and slide down the table on our way back ti the First Division, they were very wrong. Indeed, in the whole League campaign, we would only lose five matches to sides outwith the Old Firm. Our record against the 'rest' was fairly impressive, and at the end of the day helped us to finish in a quite excellent third place. I had felt sure we could make the top six, but I certainly didn't expect us to be the best of the rest.

Yet against the Old Firm, we were found to be wanting in that extra bit of class. After our first match with Celtic - who would pip Rangers to the title on the final day of the season - we went to Ibrox and gained a quite superb goalless draw. On our next visit there, we would not leave with quite such an impressive result, and when we had to go their for a third time in the league, we left wishing we hadn't turned up. At Celtic Park we were to get gubbed 5-0 and 3-0, and lost our other home match with them by 3-1. Our only home game with Rangers we lost 3-1, before a 2-0 defeat back at Ibrox. And then in what was our penultimate league match of the season, we went to Ibrox and were humiliated by seven goals to one. It wasn't a pretty sight.

The problem seems to be our defence. Whilst Boylan and Dobbie scored a fair few goals - Dobbie ending up as top scorer with 26 goals, but being robbed of Player of the Year because he doesnt play for the Old Firm - our defence leaked like a sieve and despite ending 3rd, we found ourselves with a negative goal difference. Which is crazy. My plans to restructure the team though, with the over £3M the club possesed by the end of the season, were thwarted when the board decided to rebuild the stadium.

Our Cup performances were mildly successful, reaching the Quarter Finals of the League Cup - losing out on penalties to Gretna after a 1-1 draw, the competition eventually being won by Celtic with a 2-0 triumph over Motherwell in the Final. The Scottish Cup was to prove very interesting, with both Rangers and Celtic losing out in the 4th round - Celtic being humiliated 1-0 by Raith Rovers. That of course left the tournament wide open, but our own dreams were ended in the Semi Finals by Dundee United.

And so a cery good season, and of course a place in the UEFA Cup next season. Events of the summer have left us with a fear that there is no way we can improve on this season, and indeed it could well be a very tough time ahead of us.

[Peacemaker7]

Scottish Premier League 2009-2010

<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre">

| Pos | Inf | Team | | Pld | Won | Drn | Lst | For | Ag | G.D. | Pts |

| ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 1st | C | Celtic | | 38 | 25 | 10 | 3 | 65 | 15 | +50 | 85 |

| ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 2nd | | Rangers | | 38 | 25 | 9 | 4 | 73 | 20 | +53 | 84 |

| ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 3rd | | Forfar | | 38 | 16 | 10 | 12 | 59 | 61 | -2 | 58 |

| ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 4th | | Motherwell | | 38 | 15 | 12 | 11 | 48 | 44 | +4 | 57 |

| ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 5th | | Dundee Utd | | 38 | 13 | 13 | 12 | 55 | 50 | +5 | 52 |

| ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 6th | | Aberdeen | | 38 | 11 | 15 | 12 | 47 | 52 | -5 | 48 |

| ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 7th | | Hearts | | 38 | 12 | 10 | 16 | 46 | 49 | -3 | 46 |

| ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 8th | | Gretna | | 38 | 9 | 14 | 15 | 32 | 49 | -17 | 41 |

| ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 9th | | Hibs | | 38 | 8 | 15 | 15 | 35 | 52 | -17 | 39 |

| ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 10th | | Dunfermline | | 38 | 9 | 11 | 18 | 39 | 58 | -19 | 38 |

| ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 11th | | Dundee | | 38 | 7 | 13 | 18 | 30 | 52 | -22 | 34 |

| ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 12th | R | Livingston | | 38 | 5 | 14 | 19 | 29 | 56 | -27 | 29 |

| ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| | | | | | | | | | | | |

</pre>