Englishman in... Wisconsin?

"Welcome to Appleton Foxes Soccer Club"

Ugh, I'm never gonna get used to that word. "Soccer". Yeah, yeah, I know the background of it, I know it's the proper word, the English word, but come on, it's "football". Everyone around the world calls it football. But not here- not here in "the States". Not here in Appleton, Wisconsin, where I now find myself staring up at that very sign.

So what, you may ask, brings a 28-year-old Englishman to Appleton, Wisconsin? Her name is Daisy, and trust me, she's the only reason for me being in Appleton, Wisconsin. Do you know what I knew about Wisconsin before meeting her? It existed. That was it. I was quite happy, thousands of miles away, the other side of the ocean, knowing it was there. But no, now Appleton, Wisconsin is my life. Today is day number one of Law Martin, manager of Appleton's brand spanking new soccer team, the Foxes.

I used to play a bit, by which I mean, I'm not at all surprised you've never heard of me. I came through the ranks at Gillingham, and made about half a dozen first team appearances from the bench. Bottom line? No big conspiracy- I wasn't good enough. I was there, stealing a few minutes on the pitch when people were tired or injured, but really, I knew I wasn't at the same sort of level as the real professionals on the pitch. My contract ran out and wasn't renewed- I touted myself around a few places, had a few trials. Played half a season at Welling United, and then just quit. That was, what, five years ago now?

And I was happy, away from football, y'know? I was happy doing my thing- I'd got into catering, taking home some decent money as an assistant manager at a pricey restaurant. Sure, there'd occasionally be the odd Gillingham die-hard who'd vaguely remember me, I was still a Gills fan, but from a professional standpoint, I was done with football.

Then Daisy happened, and Appleton, Wisconsin happened, and now, "soccer" in Appleton, Wisconsin was happening. Soon as I rucked up, she put the word about that I was this big ex-pro soccer star- they barely even interviewed me for the manager's job, they couldn't believe their "luck". I'm not in the shape I was, so playing's out of the question, but they wanted me to take charge so, OK, it's a paycheck.

See, the Yanks have set up this new league system, a huge, ambitious mess of a thing- forget MLS, those clubs are dead. You've got three national tiers, modelled a lot more on the European-style league: the Premier, National and Federal leagues, in that order. Below that, a whole glut of regionalised divisions. You don't need to know all the ins and outs- basically, Appleton Foxes are in a tier nine league, the lowest before you get to the amateurs, called the USS Midwest Premier.

What this means in real terms is that we've got a rinky-dink stadium that can hold about four thousand, we play the same eight teams four times over the season, and that most of our squad is too young to remember "Kenan & Kel". They're also pretty much all Lutherans, I've been told. I have no idea what a Lutheran is, but I do know that I can count the number of famous Lutheran soccer players on no hands.

Oh well, here goes...

Interesting idea. The very low leagues in the States are something I don't think anyone has written about. Good luck!

As a neighboring Minnesotan, though, I must warn you to be wary of individuals clad in urine-and-puke green colored jackets who salivate like Pavlov's dog at any mention of "Da Packers".

They say the biggest problem with first impressions is that you only get to make one.

The players are all there in the social room waiting for me- a motley crew, if ever I saw them. And as they settled down to allow me to introduce myself, I'll be honest, there was only one thing running through my mind: "Don't act like Hugh Grant, don't act like Hugh Grant". I swear, that guy's done more damage to the English stereotype than all the dentists in London.

"So, how about them..."

There are certain sentences you shouldn't start unless you know how they're going to end. That's one of them... who the hell are the local sports team in Appleton, Wisconsin? What sports are even big?

"...Brewers?"

The name sounded right- Milwaukee Brewers. I know for definite Milwaukee's not a million miles from here. But is that... basketball? American Football? I really don't know. And it's June, so is that sport... whatever it is... even in season?

You might not be surprised to hear that our informal meeting only went downhill from there. Perhaps the lowlight was making an appeal to see if there were any other out-of-towners that I could maybe build a bond with, and discovering that, apart from one 16-year-old kid, Sergio Rodriguez, who'd moved to Appleton from Mexico City when he was two and another kid, Raydel Requeijo, who was originally from Havana, of all places, everyone else, to a man, was Appleton born and bred. I'm not sure if some of them had ever left the city.

So yeah, I have to admit, I was kind of glad when my introduction part of the meeting came to its somewhat abrupt end- one of the older heads in the room, a big, burly chap who fancied himself a centre-back stopped me from going into full-on idiot mode. Seth Hughes, his name was. I'd been perhaps going at too base a level, talking about "soccer", perhaps forgetting that if these guys were here as registered professional players, as they were, they probably already had a reasonable grip of how the game worked. I was just about to launch into an explanation of "extra time", when he thankfully interrupted me.

"Mr. Martin..."

A guy could get used to that.

"...all respect, but perhaps it'd be best to talk shop out on the field tomorrow, so you can see for yourself where we are as a team, and how you can help us go further?"

At that point, I did what was perhaps the smartest thing I did all day- graciously realise he's right and shut my damned trap. To make amends, I bought the lads- my lads- a round of drinks at the bar. Ok, I very quickly realised that most of them couldn't legally drink alcohol (seriously, a drinking age of 21? What the hell?), but the OJ-drinkers appreciated the gesture all the same. I think perhaps I need to put finding an assistant- an American one- top of the to-do list, because I really don't want to spend every day buying drinks to make up for one cultural faux pas after another. I wonder if Daisy knows anyone...

17th July 2011

Y'know, these Appleton guys may not exactly a squad of Marco Bessas (for my money, the best player in the world- it's easy to see why Real Madrid spent so much to lure him from United), but they're not as hopeless as I imagined, either. Now that we've had a bit of a settling in period, they've got to know me, and I've got to know them a bit better, I'm even cautiously optimistic. Tell you what, how about you meet them, too?

| Pkd     | Inf     | Name                   | Position    | Nat     | Height  | Weight       | Age     | Value   | 
| ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 
| S1      |         | Ritchie Spicer         | GK          | USA     | 6'0"    | 13 st 3 lbs  | 27      | £300    | 
| ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 
| GK      |         | Will Underwood         | GK          | USA     | 6'2"    | 13 st 5 lbs  | 27      | £1K     | 
| ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 
| -       | Yth     | Marc Miller            | GK          | USA     | 6'0"    | 12 st 3 lbs  | 16      | £220    | 
| ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 
| -       | Yth     | Brian Gordon           | GK          | USA     | 5'11"   | 11 st 11 lbs | 15      | £190    | 
| ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 
| S2      |         | John García            | D (RL)      | USA     | 6'0"    | 13 st 3 lbs  | 25      | £375    | 
| ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 
| S3      |         | Alex Sumaila           | D (R)       | USA     | 5'10"   | 12 st 3 lbs  | 28      | £1.5K   | 
| ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 
| DR      |         | Zach Wiesner           | D (RC)      | USA     | 6'2"    | 13 st 3 lbs  | 25      | £180    | 
| ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 
| -       | Yth     | David Silverthorne     | D (R)       | USA     | 6'2"    | 12 st 3 lbs  | 16      | £325    | 
| ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 
| DCR     | Yth     | Joshua Schmid          | D (RC)      | USA     | 6'0"    | 11 st 11 lbs | 16      | £220    | 
| ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 
| -       | Yth     | Shane Farmer           | D (RC)      | USA     | 5'11"   | 11 st 4 lbs  | 15      | £220    | 
| ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 
| DL      |         | Chris Santos           | D (LC)      | USA     | 5'11"   | 12 st 3 lbs  | 24      | -       | 
| ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 
| S11     | Yth     | Sergio Rodríguez       | D (L)       | USA     | 5'7"    | 10 st 9 lbs  | 16      | £250    | 
| ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 
| DCL     | Yth     | Valeriano Gómez        | D (LC)      | USA     | 6'1"    | 13 st 0 lbs  | 17      | £425    | 
| ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 
| S4      | Loa     | Seth Hughes            | D (C)       | USA     | 6'4"    | 14 st 2 lbs  | 21      | -       | 
| ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 
| -       | Inj     | Zach Schmidt           | D (C)       | USA     | 6'2"    | 13 st 9 lbs  | 25      | £85     | 
| ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 
| -       | Yth     | Mark Henning           | D (C)       | USA     | 6'4"    | 13 st 12 lbs | 16      | £500    | 
| ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 
| DMC     | Lst     | Josh Humphries         | DM          | USA     | 5'8"    | 11 st 4 lbs  | 22      | -       | 
| ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 
| -       | Yth     | Lee Watson             | DM, M (C)   | USA     | 5'11"   | 12 st 8 lbs  | 17      | £210    | 
| ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 
| MR      |         | William Clark          | M (R)       | USA     | 5'9"    | 11 st 9 lbs  | 28      | £2.5K   | 
| ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 
| S6      |         | Steve White            | M (R)       | USA     | 5'7"    | 11 st 0 lbs  | 19      | £200    | 
| ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 
| ML      | Yth     | Matt Williams          | M (RLC)     | USA     | 5'10"   | 11 st 9 lbs  | 16      | £375    | 
| ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 
| S5      |         | Florencio Díaz de León | M (L)       | USA     | 5'9"    | 11 st 9 lbs  | 24      | -       | 
| ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 
| -       | Yth     | Jonathan Olvera        | M (L)       | USA     | 5'8"    | 9 st 10 lbs  | 15      | £275    | 
| ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 
| -       | Yth     | Hector Hugo Barrón     | M (C)       | USA     | 5'10"   | 11 st 11 lbs | 17      | £300    | 
| ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 
| S9      |         | Abraham Rodríguez      | AM (R), ST  | USA     | 5'9"    | 11 st 13 lbs | 27      | -       | 
| ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 
| S10     |         | Mark Zimmerman         | AM (R), ST  | USA     | 6'2"    | 13 st 0 lbs  | 26      | £325    | 
| ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 
| -       | Yth     | Raydel Requeijo        | AM (RL), ST | USA     | 6'2"    | 13 st 5 lbs  | 16      | £375    | 
| ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 
| S12     | Lst     | Marquis Maurer         | AM (C)      | USA     | 5'5"    | 10 st 3 lbs  | 23      | -       | 
| ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 
| AMC     |         | Adam Gray              | AM (C)      | USA     | 5'10"   | 11 st 9 lbs  | 24      | £95     | 
| ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 
| S8      |         | Stefano Todesco        | AM (C)      | USA     | 5'8"    | 11 st 2 lbs  | 25      | -       | 
| ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 
| -       | Yth     | Laurence Wiesner       | AM (C)      | USA     | 5'9"    | 11 st 6 lbs  | 17      | £220    | 
| ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 
| STCL    | Yth     | Erick Arvizu           | AM (C), ST  | USA     | 6'2"    | 13 st 5 lbs  | 17      | £500    | 
| ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 
| STCR    | Yth     | Ryan Zermeño           | AM (C), ST  | USA     | 6'0"    | 12 st 6 lbs  | 17      | £400    | 
| ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 
| S7      |         | Derek Magaña           | ST          | USA     | 6'0"    | 12 st 10 lbs | 24      | £425    | 
| ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 
|         |         |                        |             |         |         |              |         |         | 
| ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| 

Both Daisy and my PA, Alannah, let me down in terms of finding an assistant, so I've turned to Craigslist, playing up the "ex-pro" card to try and convince people I'm the real deal. A few guys have got in touch, one of whom clearly got the wrong end of the stick and thought "assistant" was a codeword for something very different. I set him straight pretty sharpish. We've got a couple of interviews lined up, so we'll see where we go from there. But, having now got onto the training ground with the lads, it seems less of a pressing concern- we're getting on a lot better.

First things first- a couple of the boys have dropped out, so we came to an agreement to terminate their contracts. A kid named Shane Weiler was simply moving like a slug compared with everyone else, while another youngster, Jesus Torres, just found the basic training too physically demanding. I'm not sure what he expected. It was all amicable enough, and at least should hopefully get the chairman off my back for a little bit- Mark Hall is already talking to me about cutting costs, so I guess there might be a few more departures down the road. Especially since I'm trying to convince him to let me have some backroom staff...

But no, the reason for optimism is the two friendlies we've now got under our belts, which went remarkably well. As part of the formation of the league, the USS took the liberty of arrange a local friendly for all league clubs- we got to host the Green Bay Hodags, who are a couple of divisions up from us.

8th July 2011: Appleton Foxes vs. Green Bay Hodags (USS-arranged Friendly)

I'll be honest- as I stood there alongside my boys, clad for the first time in our sexy blue and gold shirts (with the Hodags creatively stealing their own green-and-yellow colours from the Packers), I was nervous as hell. Yes, it was a friendly. Yes, these were two completely new teams, playing their first ever game, so really, the result could be anything. But the fact is, Green Bay had a much larger budget than us- well, they had a budget, and we don't. They were expected to challenge at the top of their division, and all of the previews in the papers pointed firmly to a heavy defeat. In a way, I knew it really wasn't about the result. But in the same way, I knew it was.

We lined up in a 4-4-2 diamond, with Josh Humphries as an anchor in front of the defence, and Adam Gray supporting our two strikers. Well, perhaps "strikers" is a strong term... if there was one thing clear from the training sessions, it was that goals might be hard to come by.

It took a while for the game to settle down- our keeper, Will Underwood, had a couple of simple stops to make, but we also gave them a scare or two in the first 20 minutes, with William Clark scooping a short wide. We were doing well to hold them at 0-0, but as half-time approached, Green Bay inevitably started to take control. The question became "Could we hold out until half-time, and regroup?". The answer was to be "No". It's not unfair to say their goal had a hint of fortune about it- our centre-back Joshua Schmid had got across well to block one shot, but the rebound fell to another of their strikers, Joseph Craft, who lashed it home with Underwood wrong-footed.

Still, 1-0 down at half-time was better than most people had expected us to do, and we came out fired up in the second half, looking a bit more adventurous. Unfortunately, so did Green Bay- they clearly wanted to put the game beyond doubt, forcing us back onto the back foot. At times some of our defending was desperate stuff- Zach Schmidt made some fine last-ditch tackles- and by the end, we were clinging on. When the final whistle came with the score still 1-0, we celebrated as if it were a win, not a defeat.

Foxes 0

Hodags 1 (Craft 45)

Att: 555

Underwood // Wiesner (Sumaila 45) , Schmidt, Schmid, Santos // Humphries (Todesco 74) , Clark (White 84) , Williams (Diaz de Lion 74) , Gray // Zermeno (Magana 74), Arvizu

Just a couple of days later, while we were still getting our admin in order and starting to think about who else we wanted to test ourselves against, we got a call from a representative of Toronto FC. Although the MLS was no more, the team was continuing to exist as a kind of touring side- I dunno, it's their bag, not mine. They were in the area and had been let down for a game on Saturday... would we be able to host them instead? Well, of course.

16th July 2011: Appleton Foxes vs. Toronto FC (Friendly)

I had wanted to name the same side, to try and get some consistency in the team, but unfortunately, one of our defensive heroes from the Hodags game, Zach Schmidt, managed to cut his heel open in training, quite a nasty wound, so we figured it'd be best to leave him on the sidelines, rather than risk it. Youngster Valeriano Gomez came into the team and certainly didn't embarrass himself.

It was wet and windy, which had to play in our favour as underdogs, and from their lacklustre start, I get the impression some of the Toronto players would've been happier to have had the weekend off. Their passing was sloppier than expected, which gave me the opportunity to assess a lot more what we offered going forwards. And what we offer is... not a lot. Whilst our build-up play was quite satisfactory, all too often it fizzled out to nothing. Granted, Matt Williams out on the wing is only 16, but after working so hard to find enough space in the box to get a shot away, to see him drag it so far wide was just disappointing.

We probably deserved the lead at half-time, although it looked like we didn't have anyone capable of putting the ball in the net. And so it would prove... so Toronto did it for us. 36 minutes on the clock, and our captain, Chris Santos, just humped a clearance away from our box. Their left-back, Cameira, picked it up deep, and put it across to one of their centre backs, Lorenzo William. I don't know what William was thinking, but his back pass was just so wrong in so many ways- under no pressure, 30-odd yards out, he drilled it back towards his own goal- keeper Kevin Lewe had no chance of getting near it. It was just bizarre- it meant the club's first ever goal was an own goal. It also meant we went in at half-time 1-0 up.

It didn't take long for Toronto to equalise- I guess their manager gave them a rollocking at half time, because they were a different side. Their right-winger, Joe Rajkovic, was playing like a man possessed, his passing was cutting our defence open every time, and so it would prove- just five minutes into the second half, he picked out Robbie Boytchuk on the edge of the D. It was a decent curling shot, and while Underwood did get a hand to it, he probably should've kept it out. Instead, he ended up bundled in the net with the ball, and the score at 1-1.

From there, the rest of the game was more of the same, with Toronto pressing, forcing us to drop deeper and deeper. It wasn't quite the clinging on as with Green Bay, but it seemed that every time Toronto got the ball under control, Underwood was being called into action- and on occasion, he rode his luck, pushing another Boytchuk shot onto the post, and seeing Rajkovic fire wide when he really should've scored. On the rare occasion that we did counter, we struggled to get past the back line- there's definitely room for improvement there.

Still, positives to take away- we did hold on, and whilst the performance may not have been the prettiest, it let me learn a few home truths about some of the players, and a 1-1 draw with a team of that standing- even a Canadian one- is a very credible result.

Foxes 1 (William og 37)

Toronto 1 (Boytchuk 50)

Att: 1,667

Underwood // Wiesner, Schmid, Gomez, Santos // Humphries (Maurer 70), Clark, Williams, Gray (Todesco 70) // Zermeno (Magana 70), Arvizu

So, to the future. We've lined up two more friendlies before the season starts, albeit against teams of a considerably lower standing. And, just this minute, Alannah has just informed me that the fixture list for the season has come through, meaning I can exclusively reveal that we'll play our first ever USS Midwest Premier game at home to Kenosha Lakers, and our first ever away game in... Scranton, Pennsylvania.

Well, at least it'll be nice to get out of the Office.

Let me just say that I really do like your start.

Hey man, thanks, I appreciate it. Still working out just how I'm going to do this, update-wise, but I think I'm settling into a pattern.

24th July 2011

You know, it's not until you've got yourself settled into a place do you start to realise the problems that you hadn't even considered. And now, with pre-season nearly over, there were three very big problems that I really need to find a way to deal with pretty damned sharpish.

Problem number one: Daisy.

Now, Daisy is many things, to many people- to me, especially, she's the love of my life. Trust me, I wouldn't have uprooted myself from my nice little life over the pond if she wasn't. But one thing nobody can ever really accuse her of being is a sports person. Daisy is not a sports person. Sure, she'll come along and cheer out of a sense of loyalty, showing that she cares, but it's always with a sense that she's not really certain what's going on in the game- she's supportive, but she's not a supporter, if you understand what I'm saying. And that's fine, it's kind of sweet that she bothers at all. I'm not going to force her to be interested.

But I'm not sure she realised just what she's got me into here, getting me this job.

"...and our first away game is against the Scranton Beets."

"Wait, Scranton? As in... Scranton, Pennsylvania?"

"If that's what "PA" stands for, yeah."

"But that's 1000 miles away!"

"It's more like 900, but yeah, it is. It means it's probably a three-day trip- get down there the day before, come back the day after."

"I thought you said these leagues were regionalised?"

Uh oh- I knew that change in her tone of voice. This was on the verge of moving from "chat" to "argument". And I am not a fan of getting into arguments with Daisy. She's quite good at them.

"They are, but..."

"Oh, really? Where else are you going? Houston? How about LA? You might as well! Scranton is NOT local, Law..."

"Look, Scranton is the worst trek, I think. I don't know why they're in this league, I'm not in charge of cutting up the map- look, we're going to Flint, MI..."

"Michigan"

"Right- Dearborn's there, too. Kenosha, that's literally two hours down the road, and Peoria's not much further. Huntington, West Virginia..."

She gave me that look. I don't like that look. That's the "don't try and pull that on me" look.

"It's not as bad as Scranton. Bloomington... Lorain, Ohio... these are two-day trips, tops. Trust me. It'll be OK."

But I had to admit, maybe I should've looked at these distances a bit closer before letting myself in for this. I hadn't even told her about the Open Cup, where every team all over the country goes into the same hat- we could be drawn an away game literally anywhere in the US. The league fixtures were bad enough- even these closer ones were thousand mile round trips, and that's a long time on a coach- there was no way the club could afford to fly us there. Which brings us to problem number two:

Problem number two: Money.

Namely, that the club hasn't got any. In fact, we're already operating at a loss, albeit a pretty small one. They fudged the figures when signing players on, and ended up going over budget. Not by much, but by enough to make it slightly uncomfortable. This is a problem not so much because I can't bring in any other players, but because I can't bring in any other coaches- and I can't get it through to the big boss man, Mark Hall, that it's not a one-man job.

"You'll be fine, Law, I've got complete faith in you".

"You're not listening, Mark- every other club is recruiting coaches, scouts, sports physiotherapists..."

"I highly doubt that, Law. Look, you've got a squad of what, twenty players?"

"Around thirty, including the youngsters."

"That's no more than a teacher has to deal with every day in a classroom- you'll be fine. It's just a case of getting to know one another, these nerves you're feeling are perfectly natural."

"Mark, I appreciate that, but..."

"Stand on your own two feet, son."

"Well, what about a physio? It's a league- and legal- requirement that we have someone trained on hand."

"We do."

"I'm not a physio. I get woozy at blood."

"Not you, Law. Alannah. I'm sure she's up to code."

So that, it seemed, was that. Unless I could find some medic to work for little more than peanuts and glory (or pay them out of my own wallet), our medical crew consisted of a bleach blonde teenage girl with some aspirin and a pack of band-aids. And our coaching team consisted of me, myself and I. And, really, I didn't have time to be doing this all by myself... which is probably what's led to problem three.

Problem number three: Discipline.

Now, if there's one word I'd use to characterise the Appleton Foxes, it's "enthusiastic". You couldn't say that they didn't want to be great soccer players, and, to be fair to them, they were willing to put in the graft to improve. Can't argue with that.

The problem is, once they stepped onto the pitch, that discipline seemed to go completely to pot.

23rd July 2011: Appleton Foxes vs. Club Marin (Friendly)

Club Marin have been an amateur club, based in Marin County, California, for many years, although with the USS FA throwing money at the game with this huge new league structure, the amateur game was facing a serious threat. Clubs like them were currently playing as many games as possible, anywhere they could, spreading their message of playing for the love of the game rather than financial income. Great. How did we get them? Alannah's cousin, Lee Amato, plays for them, conveniently enough. It took some convincing, but in exchange for covering their (not inconsiderable) expenses, we had ourselves an established amateur opponent.

I won't beat around the bush: we were expecting to win, even if I still wasn't sure where the goals were going to come from. And, when we raced to a 1-0 lead within five minutes after Ryan Zermeno chased a long-ball and finished coolly from the edge of the box, it looked like we were in for the simple kickabout/walkover we were expecting.

Two minutes later, Matt Williams got booked. It was a bad challenge on the half-way line- he was late and didn't get anywhere near the ball. Two minutes after that, Adam Gray's name joined him, for the kind of tackle that'd be red in a competitive game, the referee kindly deciding it was outside the box. I wasn't so sure. Enthusiasm is one thing, but the game wasn't even ten minutes old, we'd had two players booked and nearly given away a penalty.

On 17 minutes, Will Underwood got a yellow card as well, for dissent. The referee wasn't going to book him for catching the ball just outside the box- it's a friendly- but he just didn't shut up arguing it. I can't blame the ref- he was trying to be lenient, trying to give him the benefit of the doubt, but by the end of the rant, he had no choice. Zermeno then put us 2-0 up with his second, chasing another long ball and rounding the keeper- for a 17-year-old, he's got a cool head on his shoulders... or so I thought. He was, of course, next in the ref's book.

We went into half-time 2-1 up, with a speculative 30-yard effort squirming through Underwood's hands. It wasn't his day, so I gave his backup, Ritchie Spicer, the second half, as well as taking off some of the others who were complaining of bumps and bruises. Most importantly, I told them all to calm down- it's only a friendly. They all seemed so desperate to impress, to impose themselves on the game and get themselves on that first league team sheet, that we were collecting cards like it was Christmas.

While Zermeno had found his scoring touch, his strike partner Erick Arvizu had suffered a rotten first half, and came out as determined as anyone- I'd have put money on him being the next to get booked, actually. Instead, he took it out on the ball, collecting it just inside the Club Marin half before beating two defenders and rifling home into the top corner. They may not have been the highest calibre of opposition, but it was a decent strike nonetheless, and Arvizu's movement looks very promising.

At 3-1, the game started to wilt a bit, with Club Marin showing some fatigue and starting to pick up their own yellow cards, perhaps in retaliation for the first half, or perhaps just because we had that slightly higher level of fitness and were getting to the 50/50 balls first. They did manage to pull it back to 3-2 right at the end, Tor Morris heading home after some poor marking- it gave us a nervy five minutes, but I think everyone knew the win was reasonably secure by that point.

Foxes 3 (Zermeno 5, 22, Arvizu 56)

Club Marin 2 (York 45, Morris 85)

Att: 215

Underwood (Spicer 45) // Wiesner, Schmid, Gomez (Hughes 45), Santos // Humphries (Todesco 12) , Clark (White 87) , Williams (Diaz de Leon 45), Gray (Maurer 45) // Zermeno, Arvizu

So, three problems, one more friendly booked, against Real Maryland Monarchs, and just 13 days before the start of the first ever USS Midwest Premier, where Kenosha Lakers await.

nice start here I was tempted to play a save with that edit, i'll be keeping an eye on this

Impressive start, will be following along

30th July 2011

Lee Watson.

I just want to put that name front and centre, give you an opportunity to remember the kid's name. Hell, I'll even put it a second time for you:

Lee Watson.

Why, you may ask, do I want you to remember that name? Because after this post, I plan on never ever typing it again. And after that performance today- if you can even call it a performance- I never, ever want to see his face again, I never want to have to think about him again. I don't care if he's "only 17", I don't care that he came in for an injured Josh Humphries at short notice, I don't care that it was his first ever senior game. Lee Watson will never play for me again.

30th July 2011: Appleton Foxes vs. Real Maryland Monarchs (Friendly)

Highlights? You want highlights?

0-1, thanks to a Lee Watson mistake, inside TWO minutes. Caught in possession on the edge of his own box. 0-2, thanks to another Lee Watson mistake, inside FIVE minutes, flicking the ball away from Will Underwood and into the path of their striker, Patrick Watkins.

Thanks to Lee Watson, we've spent the rest of the game chasing against a team we should've dominated, and he didn't get any better after that. The kid was on the pitch for less than an hour and did not put a foot right- the only reason I didn't sub him earlier was because there was nobody else in the squad who felt comfortable playing as a defensive midfielder. And even then, eventually it got too bad to bear watching him try to play any more- in the end, I put on Stefano Todesco and had to change the shape of the entire team. No- he had his chance, he blew it.

Oh, and an honourable mention to Matt Williams, previously showing some good stuff, for managing to get sent off for two bookings, the second for giving away a penalty- even if it was saved. In a friendly. Against a team we should be hammering. Idiot.

Foxes 1 (Diaz de Leon 90)

Monarchs 4 (Francis 2, Watkins 5, 53, Morgan 76)

Att: 224

Underwood (Spicer 67) // Wiesner (Sumaila 82), Schmid (Hughes 82), Gomez, Santos (Garcia 67) // W*tson (Todesco 55), Clark (White 82), Williams [RED] 81, Gray (Maurer 67) // Zermeno (Diaz de Leon 82), Arvizu (Magana 48)

And... poor Daisy. I've come straight home in a foul mood and just stayed out of her way all night. It's not fair- she shouldn't have to deal with me coming back from games all worked up and fuming like this. If this is how it's gonna be, if I'm gonna be ranting and raving because we lost a meaningless friendly, then maybe I'm not cut out for this management lark.

I know I can't rant and rave to her, because if I start off on football, I know I won't stop. She'd start by trying to be understanding, but eventually the subject would change, she'd start shouting back, we'd get into a fight, and I'd end up on the sofa. That's why I'm sitting here at the computer, typing this right now, the same evening of the game, rather than waiting until the morning- to give me an opportunity to vent, to cool myself down a bit, to try and hide my frustration, my fury from Daisy. It's not her fault that Lee Watson is a completely useless sack of *****.

And this has been theraputic- well, a bit. I've gotta remember, it's only one game. One completely meaningless game, still fresh in the memory, emotions still raw, but ultimately worth nothing. Yes, that's it. Tomorrow is another day, a day we can look back at what happened a bit more removed, with some perspective, work out how we're going to tackle the problems that seem rather stark right now.

I say "we"- that'll be me and my new Assistant Manager, Bobby Law- a thirtysomething from Texas, an ex-Army man who seems to have already struck up a better working relationship with some of the kids in the squad in two days than I have in four weeks with them. Maybe this isn't for me after all. With the season starting next week at home to Kenosha, maybe they'd just be better off if I stepped aside altogether. Hmm. Maybe.

6th August 2011

Today's the day.

We're about two hours away from kickoff, and I feel like I'm going to throw up every organ in my body. My stomach is trying to escape up my throat, I swear. I could not be more nervous than I am now.

Bobby- Bobby Law, my new assistant- is telling me not to worry, telling me "it's just one game" and that "there's a long way to go", as if that's going to settle my nerves. The guy doesn't know me... hell, the guy doesn't even know soccer, not really- but he's a team builder, someone who reckons he can instil discipline and bring people together to work towards a common goal. That leaves me focussing on the technical side of things, on the actual football- and that's really not so bad.

And bringing in Bobby has helped me bring in a couple of others, even if they are all working for peanuts. Chris Johnson, our new physio, came on his recommendation- army chums, judging by the way they talk, despite their age difference. Chris'll do- he's cheap, and he knows enough about the body for me not to have to worry about Alannah now sprinting onto the field every two minutes with the magic sponge- and I think that's as much of a relief for her as it is me.

Martin Olazabal, our new coach, was one of Daisy's guys, a French-Canadian friend of the family, apparantly. The guy's English is extremely dodgy, but we've settled into a pattern to make it work, and the lads seem to get on with him. Basically, I explain the drills to him in French- my mother's Swiss, so that's no real issue- then I explain to the team in English, letting him oversee the actual session as it happens. All of his commands to the team are numbers, which everyone seems OK with- for one drill, him shouting "five" might be an instruction to "jump", or something.

Finally, there's Felipe Cortes, our other coach and... I'm not sure where to begin, really, with him. He was introduced to me by the boss man, Mark Hall, who pretty much gave me no choice in whether he joined our coaching squad or not. It seems the 40-year-old Mr. Cortes was a Chilean international in his day, though I've not had a chance to get onto Wikipedia to verify this- he certainly does have the physique of a man who looks after himself. I'd ask him myself about his glittering career, but- and here's the kicker- I don't speak Spanish. And... he also doesn't speak English. This means we're permanently communicating to each other through a kind of quasi-Pictionary drawing competition. Well, that and the few Spanish-speaking players we have. Valeriano Gomez, our half-Mexican centre-back, is becoming more and more important to the club as time goes on.

Mark Zimmerman, however, is not. The guy, who wanted to play up front, was frustrated at not getting any game time in the friendlies and got in a real huff about it. When I requested to sit down with him and talk things through, he wasn't keen, so with the chairman's permission, his contract has been terminated. Ironically, he probably would've got a start for today's match, thanks to Erick Arvizu and his fractured ribs. Two months out, Chris reckons. So much for preparing for the season.

Anyway, they're calling me through now, so I guess I better draw a line here. Do me a favour- cross your fingers, toes, arms- anything you can cross, because very soon we're gonna be out there, Appleton Foxes will be taking on the Kenosha Lakers in our first EVER USS Midwest Premier League match. And whilst I'm proud of my boys and how far they've come, I've got this sneaking suspicion we might just need all the luck we can get this season.

Oh God, I can't believe I'm doing this.

I like how you write. Very fine start. Hope you've got some reserve built up for this, I'm following along.

Grrrr. Of all the times for the update to stop my game working, it had to be just as I'm writing up the first game of the first season. Oh, the suspense!

I'd spent all night tossing and turning, restless as my mind ran from one tactic to the next, one lineup to another. That last pre-season game, against the Monarchs, had grounded us back in reality, after perhaps the previous few games had let us dream. It had been a wake-up call- the hard work was just about to begin.

Appleton Foxes vs. Kenosha Lakers (USS Midwest Premier 1/32)

I told the boys to go out there and keep it tight at the opening, to concentrate on not conceding in the first 15 minutes, to let the game settle down after the initial flurry of excitement. It was the first ever league game for Kenosha as much as it was for us, I reminded them. I told them about Kenosha- I knew their own pre-season had been hit-and-miss, I knew Joshua Wray had been putting the ball in the net. If we could get through that first 15 minutes without conceding, we could put ourselves in a position to get a grip on the game and start to press on. That was the priority.

I don't know why they didn't listen to me.

From the referee's first whistle, it was clear they hadn't. William Clark, out on the right wing, was playing like I'd never seen him play before- the ball seemed to be drawn to him, and every time he got it, he was charging forwards, terrorising their poor left-back. After just two minutes, he hit a low cross that the Kenosha defence struggled to deal with, that they had to hack clear any which way they could. When he put a second one into the box on eight minutes, they didn't deal with it.

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!! YOU ****ING BEAUTY!! STEFANO, YOU ****ING BEAUTY!!!"

I couldn't contain myself- eight minutes in, Clark's cross had got stuck in their centre-back's feet, and Stefano Todesco- making his first start as an attacking midfielder, wearing the #14 shirt- pounced. The keeper was nowhere, the ball just screaming past him. I'm sure the fourth official told me to calm down, but to be honest, at that point, everything was a blur. The game was less than ten minutes old, and we were 1-0 up. I mean, can you imagine the sheer, unbridled joy flushing through my veins at that moment? There is no other rush like it. None.

Then it was 2-0.

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES! YES YES YES!"

This time, I know the fourth official warned me to calm down- although, to be honest, I was still riding the high of our first goal. This was like some kind of fantasy- who were these players, and what had they done with my team? The clock read 13 minutes when Derek Magana got goalside of that same defender, Lee Hernandez. It should've been a booking for the challenge, but the ref let him off... then up stepped William Clark. In training, Clark was adamant he was taking all the free-kicks, but to be honest, he was the best of a bad bunch, and the goal was rarely threatened, even without a keeper there. So quite how he managed to bend it over the wall and into the bottom corner from some 25 yards, I'll never know. I'm not sure he could believe it himself- he didn't react until he got mobbed by the rest of the team.

And I'll be honest- I didn't know what to do now. This was a new one to me- we'd raced to a two goal lead, unexpectedly. Do we now consolidate or push for more? Would the players even listen to me if I told them to just hold the fort, so eager to make this first match memorable?

Kenosha started to get a foothold in the match, but at the same time were struggling to create chances- their attacks kept petering out. Clark picked up a soft booking for a 50/50 ball on the halfway line, but that aside, we were looking reasonably comfortable, happy to see out the first half at 2-0.

Then we scored again. Stefano Todesco started today because he'd impressed me coming off of the bench in pre-season, so I gave him a chance to show that it wasn't just because he was fresher. It wasn't. Clark was the architect again- a very neat slide rule pass from the right, completely wrong-footing the defenders and leaving Todesco unmarked on the edge of the box. The first-time shot was hard and low- the keeper maybe could've started in a better position, but that's Kenosha's problem, not mine, and Todesco's celebrating his second.

At half-time, I wanted to be the sensible, "don't get carried away" guy. But I couldn't- I gushed, I gushed and I gushed. We went into half-time 3-0 up- what the hell was I supposed to say? I used words like "fantastic" and "phenomenal", superlatives that really have no place in a tier nine dressing room, but at that moment, then, they couldn't have been more appropriate. I told them how they were making history, and how proud I was of them, and how proud the town would be of them.

The second half, they went out, and they shut the game down as if this rabble of teenage Americans had been doing it all their lives. They frustrated Kenosha, they just blanked them out. As legs got weary, the referee's caution book started to fill with names from both sides, but the scoreline stood firm. A few- Josh Humphries, Florencio Diaz de Leon- couldn't last the 90, they'd worked so hard, and came off to applause from the crowd.

In the final ten minutes, Kenosha threw everything they had forward, to salvage a goal, to scrape some pride out of the fixture. It didn't come. The wavy red locks of Zach Schmidt thwarted attack after attack, fierce in the tackle to win the ball, looking up and getting it out to another blue shirt. And then, before anyone knew it, it was over. The whistle ended the game. Our first ever test of a team deemed to be at the same level as us, our first ever league match and we'd won. Not just won, but won emphatically. I celebrated- the lads celebrated- as if we'd won the league. Three nil.

Foxes 3 (Todesco 8, 32, Clark 13)

Lakers 0

Att: 955

Underwood // Wiesner, Schmidt, Santos, Gomez // Humphries (Hughes 80), Clark, Diaz de Leon (Williams 80), Todesco // Zermeno (Requeijo 59), Magana

And yet, in all the elation, in all the celebration, I couldn't help but think that it must all be downhill from here. One league game down, with ease, but there are thirty-one still to play. There's a long, long way to go yet.

13th August 2011

It figures that the week after such a convincing, morale-boosting, inspiring result, we're the team to get the following week off. In a nine-team league like ours, obviously there's one team that doesn't play each week, and it just so happens that come week two, it's our turn.

So, in place of the match this afternoon, I decided to run an extra training session, dedicated to our next opponents, the long-haul trek to Scranton. Nothing too intensive, just to keep people on their toes and fresh, cluing them in as to what's to be expected. Considering it's our first ever away game, I wanted to make sure there was no sign of complacency creeping in.

The other reason for the Saturday session was to formally announce some good news. All week, we'd had an unsigned Canadian international training with us. Michael Bourgault had just broken into the squad when the MLS closed, and had remained a free agent all throughout the time that clubs were bringing players in- how, I'm not quite sure.

I'd been chatting with the coaches and Bobby about strengthening certain areas, particularly about bringing in a midfielder to control games and spray passes. It was Canadian coach Martin Olazabal who'd worked with him previously who brought his name up- I had my reservations, to say the least.

"I don't mean this the wrong way, Martin, but surely he wouldn't be interested in coming to us? There must be better clubs chasing him?"

"As far as I understand, he's been for a few trials, but just not felt comfortable. Could be worth a shot?"

"Well..."

"Trust me, I know him. Let me bring him down here, show you what he can do."

And, surprise, surprise, the guy came down here and was a different class. Better yet, he was a nice guy- the other players bonded with him pretty much in an instant, they respected his skill, rather than resenting him for it. We wanted him as part of the squad.

That was Wednesday- and we'd been hammering out a contract through the best part of Thursday and late into Friday night. We couldn't pay him the money he was asking, but somehow, some way, Martin kept him at the table. Eventually, late last night and with bonuses coming out the wazoo, he put pen to paper. The squad didn't know this yet, but now was the time.

The lads had been taking part in some basic passing drills when I blew the whistle and called them to huddle round to announce the news. But, as the stragglers made their way over, I noticed two more figures coming towards us, from the other side of the training ground. As they came closer, I recognised one as the boss man, Mark Hall, but the other was a black guy, maybe six feet tall, with a shock of black hair on his head, dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. Thinking nothing more of them, and now having the team's attention, I decided to carry on.

"Lads, good session so far today, you're showing some good stuff. I just wanted to call you over here to have a bit of a breather and give you all some good news. Now, I'm sure by now you all know Michael..."

I motioned towards the Canadian, with Mark Hall and his colleague now joining our little huddle. I looked to Mark, to see if he wanted me urgently, but he motioned for me to continue.

"Well, I'm delighted to announce formally that earlier this morning, Mike's decided he wants to stay here in Appleton, and has signed a contract with us 'til the end of the season."

The polite Canadian raised his hand in recognition of the ripple of applause from his new team-mates. I hadn't then counted on Mark Hall carrying on my announcement.

"Ahem, lads."

"Oh, Mark, go on."

"Thanks, Law. Allow me to introduce you all to another new team-mate of yours, the gent here to my right, Mr. Cristo Pedro!"

The applause was quite noticeably more forced this time, including from myself. Wait, what? Cristo Pedro? Who? Who the hell was this guy that Mark was introducing? Did he play? Where? Was he any good? And where had the money come from? We'd only been able to bring Bourgault in after Alex Sumaila had left us to accept a deal with Lafayette Emperors. And now we're signing random strangers?

I think I need to sit down and have a long, serious chat with Mark about the boundaries. I mean, seriously, who the hell is Cristo Pedro?

Glad you got this story back on track Lawlore, or seem to have got it back on track ! Did you get your game stopping bug sorted ?

enjoyable read too, btw

Hey man. Yeah, it was a conflict issue with my anti-virus, all good now thanks to SI support, so let the story roll! Thanks for following.

20th August 2011

As I write this, I'm lying, looking over at the stained walls, here in my room for one in the Clarion Hotel in Scranton, Pennsylvania. Nine hundred miles from Appleton. Nine hundred miles from Daisy. Even further away from home.

There's a stale musk in the air, but other than the hum of the air conditioning, this place is silent. Deathly silent. The boys all turned in early, shattered from the travel, and from the game. They got over sharing rooms quicker than I expected, pairing up easily enough.

No, it's just me, sitting here at the desk, Budweiser half-empty, unable to sleep.

What am I doing here?

No, really, what the hell am I doing here? What forces have conspired to put me where I am right now?

A year ago, life was good. One year ago, I was there, running a restaurant with the manager off sick, busying myself with making sure we'd ordered enough napkins, sorting out cover for when the unreliable potwashers called it in, and dealing with customers who couldn't wrap their heads around the concept of "uncooked weight". I had my own place, I had friends, I had a career.

Now look at me, alone in a cut-price hotel in America's equivalent of Slough. Office blocks and concrete wherever you look.

This is Daisy's fault. Daisy, my Daisy... if only she'd realised what this job entailed, if only she'd realised I'd be away so much. If only I hadn't got blinded by the glory, the pull of football, sucking me back in. But this was just the first away game- yes, it's the furthest away, but she didn't want to hear that.

I wish yesterday afternoon, when we were setting off on our trek, she'd come to terms with it, but she was in a different place, mentally. She didn't want me to go, and she made me not want to go. I wish we hadn't argued- hadn't left on such a sour note.

It's been on my mind all day, and I guess I didn't hide it very well- the lads noticed. William Clark took me to one side, checked that I was OK, but it was clear I couldn't focus on the task at hand, couldn't focus on Scranton. And I suppose it was infectious- when I let Bobby take the team talk, it must have been clear that I wasn't myself. He said all the same things, in a far better way than I could've said them, but my mind- my heart- wasn't in the game.

Scranton Beets vs. Appleton Foxes (USS Midwest Premier 2/32)

It's no good asking me about the game. The boys were uninspired- our first ever away game, and I hadn't inspired them. I'd failed them- everyone knew it was on me, although nobody said so. We led, and we lost.

Beets 2 (Yao 55, 71)

Foxes 1 (Todesco 45+2)

Underwood // Wiesner, Schmidt (Hughes 66), Santos, Gomez // Bourgault, Clark, Diaz de Leon (Williams 57), Todesco // Zermeno (Pedro 57), Magana

We're not leaving until the afternoon, tomorrow, a chance for a lay-in, but I'm not going to sleep tonight, I know it. I can't, there's too much in my head, and it'd take a dozen of these weak American beers to knock me out. Just being so far away from her, so alone...

*knock*

"Hello? Who's there?"

"It's me, Alannah. I saw your light on..."

"Alannah?"

"Are you alright, Law? You seemed pretty down earlier..."

"One sec, I'll be right there."

Alannah? What the hell does she want at this hour? It's gone eleven. Guess I better sign this off here.