The Scottish Sunday Clan Net Game

Breaking News......Breaking News......

Peterhead announce New Manager

Peterhead have appointed a new Manager in the shape of relative unknown Iain Stewart ( aka John Paul Remington ) as their new Manager to a stunned local newsman.

"The position was made available and Stewart was the only applicant so of course he was our first choice" claimed the Peterhead Chairman.

Asked what he would bring to the team, amd what experience he had, Stewart paused and replied " Well I'm dam good at pro evolution soccer and i've read shoot magazine on more than one occassion".

Stewart also promised to be a right good laugh on club nights out and would bring silky soccer to the Highlands which has been missing for a long time, but would not promise results.

"As the club are short on funds I plan to scurry the freebies market and bring in some players so don't be looking for any class and every job at the club is safe for 1st session anyway".

As Stewart shuffled out the pressroom he was heard asking his new chairman about the local pubs and any burds up here ?

Breaking News......Breaking News......

Peterhead announce New Manager

Peterhead have appointed a new Manager in the shape of relative unknown Iain Stewart ( aka John Paul Remington ) as their new Manager to a stunned local newsman.

"The position was made available and Stewart was the only applicant so of course he was our first choice" claimed the Peterhead Chairman.

Asked what he would bring to the team, amd what experience he had, Stewart paused and replied " Well I'm dam good at pro evolution soccer and i've read shoot magazine on more than one occassion".

Stewart also promised to be a right good laugh on club nights out and would bring silky soccer to the Highlands which has been missing for a long time, but would not promise results.

"As the club are short on funds I plan to scurry the freebies market and bring in some players so don't be looking for any class and every job at the club is safe for 1st session anyway".

As Stewart shuffled out the pressroom he was heard asking his new chairman about the local pubs and any burds up here ?

Ring ring!

"Hello"

"Hi is that Thomas Burnett?"

"Im no wanting any kitchen's"

"It's not about kitchen's"

"An am no daeing any damn surveys either"

"No please listen...how do you manage?"

"well..you know..miss a kebab here and there saves a couple o quid"

"We want you to take over East Stirlingshire"

"Am no wanting any kitchen's"

Week 2 and the action really got under way.

Montrose were the first test of this young and inexperianced team, and despite losing to a 76min goal, the manager was inspired by the possession play and commitment show, it was noticed that the strikers were having trouble putting away chances.

When Albion Rovers came to visit the management fears were that this game was coming too early, and early indications of play were proving those fears well founded, but an inspired substitution in the seccond half saw Falconer come on and net two goals in two minutes to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat.

An away trip to Cowdenbeath ended all square at 1-1 and once again chances were squandered by the strikers.

Lge Cup and an away fixture at 1stDiv Brechin, despite heavy possession and a first half lead, the 'Shire' lost an equaliser late on and an even later penalty sealed their fate and an early cup exit.

Stranraer were welcomed to Firs park for a fixture which the 'Shire' were confident of taking something from but a disasterous own goal by keeper Goram late on gifted the visitors all three points and the 'Shire' recorded their first home deafeat of the season.

"It's been an incouraging start" said an upbeat Thomas Burnett "We have been moving the ball nicely and making the chances, we just have to start putting those chances away and tighten up at the back."

It all started on a quite Sunday afternoon, I was sat down ready to watch my beloved Tottenham Hotspurs playing at home to Man United on sky the game was awful and Spurs where getting roasting, my phone rang, which idiot can this be I thought to myself?

“Helloâ€

“Hi there could I speak to Simon McNeill pleaseâ€

“Yeah Speaking, How can I helpâ€

“Oh Hi, My name is Mr Wilson, Im the Chairman of Queens Parkâ€

“Who?â€

“Queens Park we play in Scotlandâ€

“Yeah, that must be nice, what can I do for youâ€

“We need a manager for our team, weve heard good things about you, we’d like you to come for an interviewâ€

“Really? Okâ€

the time and date was arranged, seeing as knew nothing about them I round its bloody massive, they must have some mad investor this will be great.

I put on my best suit, removing all losing betting slips (well I wanted to class after all) went for the job and got it.

I couldn’t quite believe it, I was in charge of what had to be one of the biggest teams in Scotland, only they play in the 3rd Division, strange???

I arrived for my first day and things certainly changed quickly, couple of guys were late for training and gave crap excuses.

I assessed the squad pretty quicky we were rubbish, yet there was deffinately something to work with, so instead of messing around I went to the chairman to find out how many millions this giant club would have to spend.

“um well we have nothingâ€

“nothing how can we have nothing I said, look at that stadium were a big clubâ€

the chairman told me sit down, after 3 scotches the shock had past and the reality hit, we were no more than an extremely average team who played at Hampden Park, oh now I wish I’d done some more research.

The Season So Far……..

I bought in some players on free’s and went about organising them, I didn’t work we were a shambles.

The Pre-Season came and went, mostly went to be honest, and the season in all its glory was about to start.

I put out our best team to face Albion in the challenge cup they were in the same league so this was gonna be tough, we went on our travels and got their early.

It ended 4-0 only we had 1 shot at goal and ran round like headless chickens. We then played 5 league games with a League Cup match in between, all was not pretty.

The Results

Challenge Cup- Albion (A) 0-4

League- Montrose (H) 1-2 White

League- Albion (A) 1-1 Conning

League- Cowdenbeath (H) 1-0 White pen

League- Stranraer (A) 0-2

League Cup- Berwick Rangers (A) 2-7 White, McAuley

League- Elgin (H) 3-4 Menelaws, Ferry 2

Now that 7-2 defeat we were 3-0 down in 30mins and pulled it back to 3-2 with 30 mins to go, we looked good then, I realised I need a keeper he let in 4 very soft goals. Then he completed my worst nightmare, he droped balls and gifted goals against Elgin, we were 3-3 in the last min, again destroyed by ourselves.

At the moment we are our own worst enemy, we have an exciting arrival in November mind with Johan porhallsson being signed from por on a free a very exciting young man, still until then we will go back to the drawing board.

Onwards and Upwards!

Are ther only 3 playing the Sunday game? where are the other Lazy/Stoopid/Gloryhunters/Pathetic/Crap/Uncommited/Selfish/Players updates

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Rosco Van Nistelrooy:

Are ther only 3 playing the Sunday game? where are the Crap Players updates <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

you will see mine above

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by 36EE:

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Rosco Van Nistelrooy:

Are ther only 3 playing the Sunday game? where are the Crap Players updates <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

you will see mine above <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

ye i see that u nicked Tam's telephone idea

Elgin for the cup....Elgin for the cup....

after a cracking start last week with two wins in two games my team has again continued in a pleasing manner. elgin are blessed with about 8 directors of football so at least im assured of a job upstairs if it all goes belly up! after my four free signings last week and the wonder signing of archie knox as assistant manager, it was fairly quiet on people in this week. Just one new coach and one physio to boost the backroom staff.

8 matches were played this week

Elgin v Cowdenbeath (challange cup round 2)

2-1 (win) - Bone, Mckay

good result, with an absolute cracking goal by mckay. happy to come back from one nil down.

Cowdenbeath v Elgin (league)

2-0 (loss)

revenge for cowdenbeath in the cup! well beaten in this match and can have no complaints.

Elgin v Stranraer (league)

3-0 (win) Mclean x 2, Ogboke

convincing win and mixing up the goalscorers too, pleasing on the eye!

Elgin v East Fife (challange cup round 3)

2-1 win Mclean, Murphy

good cup win at home against higher division opponents setting up a semi final showdown and chance for early silverware. the crowds are starting to chant about the home form and the fortress teams face when coming to our ground!

Gretna v Elgin (league)

6-3 (loss) Mclean x 2, Murphy

wake up call for the boys and a reminder of the importance of the league! 6 goals is unacceptable. not even three away goals couldn't hide the need to work on my away tactics!

Elgin v Ross County (league cup round 1)

2-0 win Bone, Mclean

another cup match at home against higher division opponents and another win. probably one of the easiest games so far too. fairly uneventful but not a problem at this level!

Queens Park v Elgin (league)

3-4 (win) Bone, Mcmillan x 3

what a match....the main thing was my tinkering of tactics seems to have stopped the away rot though i can thank a woeful goalkeeping display for my last two goals. a 90th minute winner is the luck you need in a promotion fight!

Inverness CT v Elgin (challange cup semi final)

1-1 FT Bone (pen) - pens 4-5 win

Through to the final of the challange cup after a nail biter that went to penalties. again a good away performance against better opposition. set for a final against Albion Rovers so the first cup final of the season will go to a human manager. yeah good luck....

well 6 wins out of 8 matches in this session should keep the board happy for another week and if im totally honest, surely gets me manager of the week!?

Elgin for the cup....Elgin for the cup....

stranraer off to a slow start in the lge but theres still plenty off time to catch the early pace setters so dont count your chickens yet those of you siting at the top of the table

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Fat Ric:

stranraer off to a slow start in the lge but theres still plenty off time to catch the early pace setters so dont count your chickens yet those of you siting at the top of the table <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

good to see ur putting the time in Ric and making the effort

Peterhead Love New Boss Stewart

Peterhead Chairman declares the unknown manager Stewart is a "Star in the making !".

Taylor commented yesterday "We have made the correct decision with Stewart and the Teams performances show that. Myself and the board and delighted with the performance so far."

Peterhead sit joint second in the 3rd thanks to some great leagues performances.

2-1 win against Gretna

1-0 win against Stirling

0-0 against Montrose

2-1 defeat against Albion Rovers

but bouncing straight back with a nice

2-0 win against Cowdenbeath.

Although dumped out of both cups at early stages it give Stewart one less thing to worry about in there campaign to reach the 2nd Div at 1st shot.

Although early in the season signs are encouraging for Peterhead and making of manager Stewart.

jp you dint say what your score was in your first game vs cthe beath?

Coatbridge Times

7th Dec 2003

The Scottish football world was rocked last night as a female manger was appointed as the new manager of Albion Rovers.

Tracy Watson was introduced at a press conference last night, it was a well known fact that "The Wee Rovers" had an ace up their sleeve no one could have guessed what it was.

After the introductions Watson gave this statement.

"This is a turning point for scottish football and for Albion Rovers,I want to thank the board for taking my application seriously and give them assurances that I will succeed and turn this club into footballing champions!"

Watson was unavailable for questioning due to a pressing appointment due with her players all she would say is " I wish to go meet my players now, any more talking I do will come from the field,Thank You"

At this point Watson left flanked by security.

-----------

14th Dec 2003

After a dodgy start to the season winning only 2 out of 4 friendlies for the new manager of "The Wee Rovers" things have started to improve.

There have been many players released too many to name infact, and several new faces brought in, most notable was the signing of Colin Boylan from Dundee.

Not only is he scoring goals he is creating them and seems to be settling well at the Rovers.

The only thing which seems to be able to scupper Watsons performance is her distinct lack of cash and she had to offload Jed Stirling after receiving an offer too good to refuse. She wishes him well in the future and was sad to see him go but it was the most beneficial thing for the team and this is her first priority.

Rovers seem to have made a reasonable start to the season. Sitting in 5th place and in the final of the Challenge Cup Watson couldnt be any happier.

" I'm really pleased with the players and how they're performing at the minute, all credit to them they are playing well. But we must'nt become complacent as we have a long way to go till the season's over and hopefully we can get into a better league position. If the lads play as well as they have been the past 2 weeks then I'll be happy."

I asked Watson how she was coping with the dressing room scene's and did her husband not mind her seeing all these men in shorts.

She would only answer " I'm here to manage the team nothing else , the lads respect me and I respect them and that is all I have to say on the issue" Sounds like the men of the team are going to need to have their balls intact to deal with this fiery lady.

kewl start Tracy

Originally posted by taloola23uk:

Coatbridge Times

7th Dec 2003

The Scottish football world was rocked last night as a female manger was appointed as the new manager of Albion Rovers.QUOTE]

Tracy, im sure your a lovly women dont speak about yourself that way.

When you start in the Scottish Clan you will see Turps is the main manger around here!!

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> Gretna today announced that Gary Toner will be installed as the new manager for the forthcoming season, they stated that the desire to be playing in the top flight of Scottish football to be one of the main reasons over the managerial change and see Toner as the man to lead them there.

Toner stated "It was a honour to be at Raydale Park and echo'd the boards feelings, however he also stated that this season will about re-building and not looking to going straight up he concured that mid-table would be more realistic but this is football and anything can happen."

Toner went on to talk about the clubs current finacial situation and mentioned "In the current climate we will not be looking at adding to many players but one or two new faces are a firm possibilty."

Fans of the 3rd division side were slighty sceptical about the appointment of the realitve unknown but will give the new manager their full backing. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

*early match reports and player signing details to follow*

Toner Makes Changes

Gretna have hit the transfer market running brought in no less than seven players.

Chris Mackie, Chris Edwards, Ter, McInally, McColligan all join the Raydale Park outfit on free transfers but the 3rd division club have also been in the spending mood by bringing in youngsters Andy Dowie(Rangers) and Chris Kerr(Ayr Utd) for £22k and £8k respectively.

When asked why so many replacements were drafted in Toner simply replied "Some players were not good enough and had to be replaced, not to mention it also add's some depth to the squad and its good healthy competition for places".

*note : i overwrote the first couple of results so will start from the last session*

Gretna 3 and easy

Raydale park was jumping in Challenge cup joy today after strikes from Martin Cameron(49), Chris Mackie(54) and Ian Stevens(82) put Stirling to the sword in a second half onslaught, Stirling however had some early chances and perhaps should have been 1 up early on but the momentum of the game was to change when Stirling were reduced to 10 men when Love was sent off.

Gretna 3 - 0 Stirling

Gretna Edge Out Stranny

In what was an exciting game the home side just edged out their visitors Stranraer. Martin Cameron(5) got the scoring started when he hit home a crashing volley, Chris Mackie(32) added to the scoresheet when he latched onto a superb through ball by Danny Lennon. Stranraer hit back early in the 2nd half and made the last 15 minutes uncomfortable for Gretna but the points were wrapped up and the home fans went home happy.

Gretna 2 - 1 Stranraer

Gretna Duo On The Mark Again

Martin Cameron(54) and Chris Mackie(70) set Forthbank alight today in a superb performance from a visiting Gretna side. Despite taking a early setback when Davidson(12) put Stirling 1 up the visitors hit back in a 2nd half through the deadly duo that are fast becoming one of the most feared partnerships in the league. Manager Toner was said to be delighted with the way the team faught back from the early setback and the fighting attitude from within his squad.

Stirling 1 - 2 Gretna

Away Day Blues As Cup Dream Dies

A Sweeny penalty(3) early on for the home side put Gretna on the backfoot for most of the match and as they kept fighting to find an equaliser they were caught out at the back when Diack(67) put Albion on easy street.

Albion Rovers 2 - 0 Gretna

Gretna Hit Back With A Vengeance

Goals from Mackie(7,19), James Allan(53) and a superb hat-trick from Ian Stevens(26,55,72) sent the points to Raydale Park but not without a fight from Elgin who scored 3 well taken goals past a lethargic Gretna defence.

Gretna 6 - 3 Elgin

Late Double Smokes Arbroath

A late brace from Chris Mackie(83,88) sent Gretna into the next round of the League Cup, Gretna had came close on numerous attempts but it had looked to be heading to a replay until young Mackie struck to end 2nd division Arbroath's cup hopes.

League Cup 1st Rnd : Gretna 2 - 0 Arbroath

Mackie Sends Gretna Top

Goals from James Allan(42), Martin Cameron(45) and Chris Mackie(62) was just enough to steal all 3 points against Montrose at Links Park but it wasn't without a fight as Webster(35) put Montrose in front and Watt(45) struck just after the restart to tie it up at 2-2. That was until a certain Chris Mackie converted a Martin Cameron cross to secure victory.

Montrose 2 - 3 Gretna

kwality gaz

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Rosco Van Nistelrooy:

kwality gaz <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Gaz is the Match Report King!

If only we were all like Gaz

Sy

well it saddens me to drop out, i really enjoyed the game and i hope you guys continue to enjoy it. i think its only against non-human opposition that the results alter but its enough to throw me off course too much so reluctantly i wish you the best and will check from time to time to see how its going!

i wanna join i can play all weekend pleasesay yes

if you want to join, get in touch with me on msn.

the_bhoy@hotmail.com

i'll see what i can arrange but i need to know more info m8 before i can say yes or no.

You can find the sunday clan thread

http://community.sigames.com/eve/forums?a=tpc&s=21019056&f=58719217&m=425105311

with more info on joining but get in touch.

Technical difficulties frustrated and blighted this weekends action and caused this team principle to blow his top when his club scored a penalty only to see the opposition given the goal, the inconsistances in match commentary and final results make this weeks East Stirling update rather difficult to compose with a degree of accuracy.

The trip to Elgin saw a hard fought battle which ended all square 2-2.

Queens park arrived at Firs park in bouyant mood and left shellshocked, an outstanding midfield performance one of the highlights in a 4-1 demolition of the visitors.

then began a string of matches against the "big boys" of the division, the oft maligned 'Shire' were facing their biggest challenge todate.

Lge leaders Gretna were the 'Shire's' first port of call, the match which was evenly fought saw the 'Shire' end the first 45 a goal up, but the lge leaders strenght's were evident and they emerged 2-1 victor's.

"Our last visit here was a cup game in which we were overwhelmed..not this time, we fought this fixture right to the end and I'm proud of the lads performance, we nearly took something from the game other than experiance." stated a not unhappy manager Burnett.

Montrose were on the recieving end of another impressive midfield display which saw a malfunctioning scoreboard record the wrong result, the eventual 3-0 home win for the 'Shire' was somewhat tarnished by boss Burnett's frequent use of the "F word".

the long bus trip north to Peterhead began a series of matches 'on the road'. Once again the home side did not have a happy time, and despite lossing their two first choice centre backs to injury before the match East Stirling contested every ball and deservedly took a point in a 1-1 draw.

Back down the motorway and an away fixture at Stirling Albion, a goal each in 37 and 38 mins saw the honours even at the final whistle.

"We are consistantly taking points from fixtures that on paper at least we should be in great difficulty, that is points won for us and points lost for the others, this makes me very happy."

More injuries to key personnel made the trip to Albion Rovers a dismal proposition and the match played out as such, Rovers applied heavy pressure and besiged the East Stirling goal, the 2-1 scoreline flattered the 'shire' who made very few chances throughtout the 90 mins.

" NO I'm not unhappy" began Thomas Burnett "obviously we would have wanted maximum points from all the games but we have to be realistic, we dont have the depth of squad or funding of the others, and the bottom line is we dont have a championship winning side, but we are not going to give this league away without a fight.

Taking points from these clubs on their own patch IS a result for us, the figures speak for themselves, in the last seven games including the top four clubs we lost 2, have scored 13 and lost 9 goals, if we can keep the injuries down a top end finish is not beyond us."

"What are you bawling and shouting at now?" she said leaving the kitchen with two plates of stovies.

"Its that right back..he's a fud..disnae have a frikin clue!"

"Your off yur heid..shouting at a computer screen." she said banging the plates of stovies down on the desk.

"What!" he scowled

"It's a game! it's only a game."

A strange luminosity burned from behind his eyes, in an instant there was clarity of the reality.

"Frik off..you dinny ken frikin nuthing aboot frikin fitba."

LATER THAT EVENING

"Will you sit doon A canny see the telly" she said

"Am pacing ma technical area." he clapped vigourously at some on screen action "You can see the action better from this angle...oooohhh that was close."

"My mother warned me aboot you." she clutched a cushion to her chest.

"Dinny start me wi your mother." he wagged a finger

"We dont talk anymore" she drew her legs up on to the couch "you just prance up and down wearing a hole in that wee rug"

"Technical area"

"Talk to me."

"What aboot like? yu've frik all interestin to say at the best o times"

"please, please talk to me" she pleaded

He slumped down onto the couch with a heavy sigh " There is something that has been bothering me."

She gasped "What?"

"442 wi a winger or defensive midfielders dropping back."

scotfun dont feel alone i also am prone to jumping up and down and shouting at the screen (get it right fcuking up you!) and many more that may be a little bit easier in the ear cant say ive quite got to walking around my technical area but dont worry i will get it sorted soon and either install a rug or get the white paint out for my carpet .can you give me any tips on what size this area should be?

Piece of comedy genius from our tom there.

Hats off to one of the best posts Ive read in a while.

Sorry bout technical Difficulties on sunday but patch 4.13 did wonders for my hangover on sunday and my pc keyboard now has a rather nice designer indent that matches my forhead. Cheers

Hopefully with patch installed and update for this week we'll all be up and running fine this weekend.

I'll post my report of the mighty Peterhead after xmas guys really busy the now with removing 2 doors before deciding that this dam sofa just aint coming in that wee door. So one window later and i've finally got my air condition !

New flat is about finished so i'll be back on the ball with posts.

Iain

Guys an Gals

having a wee peek round the forum looks like the problem wont be solved, so for sunday can everyone do a fresh install and patch to 4.12 if not already done, looks like we'll be playing with that for a while.

I done a complete removeal on sunday not a repair might be worth thinking about,

cheers

Iain

Fat Ric, glad you raised the point of proper dimensions of technical area..most people have actually no idea as to what this vital piece of kit is, let alone know the proper way to use it.

According to the new FIFA technical manual, the synthetic surface is the future, so under no circumstances paint your carpet.

The rug is the only option, especially if you do a lot of gobbin during the match, and none of these long pile jobs, if your chewing gum pops out of your mouth whilst shouting abuse(or tactical direction as its know in the trade) it's a bitch to clean off as it tangles in the long pile.

The rug is also handy for catching the fagash that you blow off the keyboard and any dribbles of Tartan Special that run down your chin during anxious moments.

Remembering to allow yourself plenty of arm room or you end up skining your knuckles off the wall.

Beware of sudden leg movements, these can lead to tangling up the cables of your USB connections, (mine is sort of like black spagetti)

One important piece of kit which should sit at the rear of the technical area is the tv remote, to turn up the volume of Sportscene and any John Wayne movies and mute the other garbage.

The type and style of technical area is a matter of personnal choice but nothing too bright or heavy patterned.

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Scotfun:

Fat Ric, glad you raised the point of proper dimensions of technical area..most people have actually no idea as to what this vital piece of kit is, let alone know the proper way to use it.

According to the new FIFA technical manual, the synthetic surface is the future, so under no circumstances paint your carpet.

The rug is the only option, especially if you do a lot of gobbin during the match, and none of these long pile jobs, if your chewing gum pops out of your mouth whilst shouting abuse(or tactical direction as its know in the trade) it's a bitch to clean off as it tangles in the long pile.

The rug is also handy for catching the fagash that you blow off the keyboard and any dribbles of Tartan Special that run down your chin during anxious moments.

Remembering to allow yourself plenty of arm room or you end up skining your knuckles off the wall.

Beware of sudden leg movements, these can lead to tangling up the cables of your USB connections, (mine is sort of like black spagetti)

One important piece of kit which should sit at the rear of the technical area is the tv remote, to turn up the volume of Sportscene and any John Wayne movies and mute the other garbage.

The type and style of technical area is a matter of personnal choice but nothing too bright or heavy patterned.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

this thread is hilarious btw, who are these mad feckers, i've forgotton after my mass drunken name changing exploits last month

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mr X:

this thread is hilarious <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Isnt it just typical..you try to give a rugless guy some honest advice and someone think's its funny.

All we are trying to do is keep the world informed of our very very serious attitude to the Sunday Clan cm03/04 gem.

Laughing at our expense doesn't help we have many worries on our mind, the stress is unbelievable, no money for new players, training ground is a tip, technical areas worn out, right back is a fud, keeper is well dont get me started, and then there is the wimen.

What do they no about footy all i get is you spend too much time on the fecking computer, wots you hitting the bloody keyboard again for, and dont even thin about trying it the night, play your fecking gem !!!!!

They have no idea of the stress, never mind though at least we amuse the cm online community.

Merry xmas to you all and a happy new year, and if you've a decent keeper you'd make one manager happy with a late xmas pressie

Queens Hit For Six

A brace from Ian Stevens(46,79) coupled with an Own Goal from Jonathon Whelen(56) and a superb hat-trick from Martin Cameron(3,28,78) gave Gretna a glorious home win over Queens Park in what was a one sided game that so much the home side could have hit double figures. Queens consolation came via of saint and sinner, Jonathon Whelen(13).

Gretna 6 - 1 Queens Park

Cup Glory For Glorious Gretna

In what would have been seen as a shock by many the 3rd division outfit outplayed, out performed, out gunned their SPL visitors. Another hat-trick from inform Martin Cameron(51,74,78) added to first half goals from Ian Stevens(3,33) and On Loan Ryan Baldaccino(23) compounded misery on Partick as they crashed out the cup.

League Cup 2nd Round - Gretna 6 - 0 Partick Thistle

Points Shared At Cliftonhill

Despite starting in excellent fashion when Ian Stevens(2) got on the end of a Cameron cross to put the visitors in the lead they couldn't capitilise on the chances that were presented to them. The points looked destined for Gretna until Andy Dowie was sent off(66) and Albion applied more pressure on the 10 man Gretna, the pressure was to pay off late on when Boylan(89) equilised to give each team a share of the spoils.

Albion Rovers 1 - 1 Gretna

Cameron Seals Victory For Gretna

Despite falling behind to a Willie Falconer(22) Free kick Gretna managed to come from behind to secure the points, goals from Ian Stevens(68) and Martin Cameron(77) sent the home fans away happy.

Gretna 2 - 1 East Stirling

Cameron Brace Sinks Stranraer

InForm Martin Cameron(50,78) bagged himself a second half brace to add to early goals from a returning Chris Mackie(7) and Ryan Baldaccino(17) kept Gretna on top of the league.

Stranraer 0 - 4 Gretna

Mackie Sends Cowie home pointless

A brace from Chris Mackie(31,65) and a second half strike from Cameron(55) made sure the points were staying at Raydale Park despite Cowdenbeath having a good few chances to tie the scoreline before Cameron struck. However it wasn't to be and they had to settle for a consolation through Callaghan(61).

Gretna 3 - 1 Cowdenbeath

'Well fall to Gretna

In perhaps what can be seen as one of the most one sided games Gretna have played this season it didn't look like Motherwell were a SPL side infact they played more like amatuers. a brace a piece from Mackie(7,13) and Cameron(30,55) had put Gretna on easy street before Motherwell even had a shot on goal, however they did start playing a little better and bagged two consolation goals via Burns(70) and Pearson(80). Gretna now go on to face Celtic in the next round at Raydale park.

League Cup 3rd Round - Motherwell 2 - 4 Gretna

Gretna blow away 2nd place pretenders

An early goal from Chris Kerr(5) opened the scoring for the home side, Peterhead equilised through a Bain Penalty(26) before Mackie(28,61) wrapped up the points for Gretna.

Gretna 3 - 1 Peterhead

Raydale Blues As Gretna Slip

An Elliot brace for the visitors cancelled out a Martin Cameron(55) goal as Stirling took away all 3 points from the homeside in a game that so far this season has not been the calibire of football from the home side that we are used to seeing.

Gretna 1 - 2 Stirling

Come on the Gretna *clap clap clap*

I have to admit i am quietly suprised with how good Gretna have been doing so far this season, with victories over Partick and Motherwell in the cup and sitting at the top of the 3rd division its been a good start.

Not to mention the double clean sweep for Gretna in the monthly awards

Gretna are doing exceptionaly good..I'm rather surprised 'cos I thought East Stirling had this lge sown up!

OH YEAH and someone's gonna thingk I was being funny wi that last post!!

Haw Gaz , how come youre so good?

Any tips big man. Us mere mortals here need all the help we can get for the clan game.

Iain is right, we do take this Sunday lge thing serious ((people may wonder why I abreviate league to lge?..it's 'cos I cant spell leauge))...and without doubt this Sunday LGE is becoming the formost CM clan on the entire planet, I have read every post on these forum's.. and I mean every single letter, it's relationship to other letters, the relationship of post's to similar post's and even disimilar post's and with my acidemic background I can clearly and unoquivically (sherry's kicking in) state that..that..what was the question again? schickt! have you ever tried to play need for speed/ underground when ur half jaked! you need to drive in a straight line fur firk's sake!!! I blew me engine on my VW Golf..but it's only a game , they dont have MY CAR in the game 'cos they would'nt dare blow the engine of a Jaguar, 'cos it just isint the done thing.

I know Gaz's secret..he has a foam backed rug that is machine washable.

"right!"she said tearing the sherry glass from his hand, "that's it!"

"What!"

"You have embaressed me for the last time."

"But that guy.."

"That Guyjust happens to be a professor at Edinburgh University, not that YOU are used to moving in such austre company..but I am, this is a very important party for me.. these people are very important to my carear..I knew it was a mistake to bring you along.."

"That guy.."

"We're leaving!"

"No you.."

"WE ARE LEAVING!"

"So sorry you have to leave so early my dear" said the learned professor

"So am I Sir Roger," she made a sideways leer at her husband.."But a family crisis has arisen that needs urgent attention."

"I understand..season's greeting's to both of you."

She grabbed her husband by the arm and dragged him to the door.

"OH!" shouted the professor "Tom remember to try that diamond formation with the defensive back pushing forward,..works wonders for me in the Indian lge."

There are times when..and Iain, is right here, that we take this thing so very firkin serious, it's only a game for God's sake, that's why I dont bother much when my goalkeeper score's an own goal...it's just fun..I love it..'specialy when ..you know ..you had all the shot's on goal ..then they score...what fun!

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Scotfun:

There are times when..and Iain, is right here, that we take this thing so very firkin serious, it's only a game for God's sake, that's why I dont bother much when my goalkeeper score's an own goal...it's just fun..I love it..'specialy when ..you know ..you had all the shot's on goal ..then they score...what fun!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I cant wait for the first player to fall foul of the "Goalkeeper being injured and off the pitch and the opposition scoring into an empty net" bug.

What fun that will be!

He rubbed his boots on the coconut doormat and closed the door behind him.."That's me hame.."

he went straight to the kitchen, dipped the switch on the kettle and turning on the cold tap, he wretched up a big chewie, and spat it down the drain.."Ur you in?" he called.."hey!".."fukcer" he muttered.

He began 'peeling' the overalls from his aching body, he sat on the kitchen floor rubbing this elbow, "bastred, am getting too old fur this shicht".."Ur you in or no?" he shouted..silence.."bastred!". .the kettle clicked off,"nice cup of Scottish Blend for me, dont know how the rest of the world makes do without a nice cup of tea."

He picked up his cup and went into the livingroom.

The room was dark, the air, heavy with incense, the warm glow of the scented candles shown off her ruby coloured lips..his breathing, when he saw her sheer stockings, became laboured and short.

"We've no got a firkin power cut" he yelled the Sunday Lge game starts in 20mins!!"

Anybody post's here that i am a fully paid up member of "WE HATE GRETNA protest group will get banned...Right.

"HERE" she slammed her hand down on his computer desk, " Take these"

"What is it?"

"VIAGRA"

"Viagra! what do I need Viagra for?"

"You need all the help you can get"

"Aye a frikin stricker....noooo viagra!!!

such a sad fukcer, Saturday night and ur writin funny stuff,...or tryin to

write funny stuff,,if you could write funny stuff you would have a job wi the 'SUN' but you aint,,,so what do that tell you sad fukcer??

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Scotfun:

"_HERE_" she slammed her hand down on his computer desk, " Take these"

"What is it?"

"_VIAGRA_"

"Viagra! what do _I_ need Viagra for?"

"You need all the help you can get"

"Aye a frikin stricker....noooo viagra!!!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

The above??? Dont ASK