Bygmester Fuller

[CFuller]

"Managing a national football team is not like managing a football club. You will have the expectations of a whole country on your shoulders, and you will need to make the best of the resources we have. Are you aware of what you would be getting yourself into if you took this job, Mr Fuller?"

 

That question was posed to me by Ole Einar Halvorsen - the President of Norway's Football Association. I was being interviewed via video link for the vacant head coaching role of the Norway senior national team. While Mr Halvorsen and his two colleagues were asking the questions from their headquarters in Oslo, I was answering them in my office in Dagenham.

 

I - Christopher Fuller - had spent the previous two decades forging my career as a football manager in east London. I managed my hometown club Romford between 2012 and 2022, taking them up two divisions before resigning late on in my tenth season.

 

I then scaled even greater heights with Dagenham & Redbridge - my current club. The Daggers were in the Conference Premier - England's fifth division - when I arrived at Victoria Road in 2022, and they were now spending their fifth consecutive season in the Championship. One more promotion, and they would be in the Premier League.

 

I should add that, between my spells at Romford and Dagenham, I'd also spent a couple of months in the lower reaches of Spanish football with Elgoibar. Let's not dwell too much on that experience, shall we?

 

Now, in October 2033, I was ready to pursue another challenge. I was still happy to carry on managing Dagenham & Redbridge and take them even further than I already had done, but the lure of taking on a second job - in international football - was proving irresistible.

 

There was one big reason why I had decided to take the plunge now. England was to host the UEFA European Championship in 2036, making it the first time in four decades that a major international tournament was taking place in the country where this wonderful sport was invented. This would be my first - and probably last - opportunity to manage a team in such an event in my home country.

 

During the international break, I looked at all the European national teams to see if they would be needing new coaches for the qualifying stages of UEFA Euro 2036, which would start next year.

 

England would've been my number one choice for several reasons, not to mention the fact that they were the reigning world and European champions. That said, there was absolutely no chance of the Football Association sacking Nemanja Covic - one of the best young managers in the game - and appointing someone who'd never even managed in the Premier League.

 

The associations of Scotland and Wales were very happy with their current managers, so those jobs were out of the question as well. My most realistic chance of an international job in the British Isles looked to be with either Northern Ireland or the Republic of Ireland, both of whom had underperformed in the recent FIFA World Cup qualifiers. They opted to keep faith in their respective coaches, and so I would have to look further afield.

 

In the end, I found three international management vacancies on the continent that interested me - Austria, Iceland and Norway. They were all mid-range teams when it came to European international football, and all of them had the potential to burst through from the outside and qualify for major tournaments.

 

Austria - who'd previously been managed by the likes of Jurgen Klopp, Uwe Rosler and Nick Proschwitz in recent years - scoffed at my job application, perhaps because I wasn't even remotely German. In hindsight, perhaps I should've given my name as Christoph Voller on the application form...

 

The Football Associations of Iceland and Norway were more welcoming of my interest in managing their teams. As I was too busy managing the Daggers to fly out to either Reykjavik or Oslo, both FAs offered to interview me via videophone.

 

The Iceland interview took place first. I would've really liked that job, and not just because I'd have another opportunity to manage Baldur Hreidarsson - one of my favourite former Dagenham players. Despite having a population of a little over 300,000, Iceland were punching above their weight in footballing terms, and there was a sense that their latest generation of footballers would help them qualify for a first major tournament.

 

Norway offered me a slightly more realistic chance of success. They had a more established footballing infrastructure and had graced the FIFA World Cup on three occasions. However, Norway hadn't qualified for a major tournament by right since 2016, and hosting the 2032 European Championship had done little to revitalise a national team that'd lost its way over recent decades.

 

The 2034 FIFA World Cup qualifiers had seen Norway win only two of their group matches. The NFF were already making plans to replace their head coach Henning Hauger, interviewing prospective replacements prior to the team's final qualifying match in San Marino.

 

I was interviewed on 10 October - the day before Norway would hit a new nadir with a stunning 3-0 defeat in Serravalle. That loss brought home the enormity of the task I would be facing if I took that job on.

 

That said, I'm nothing if not determined. I told Mr Halvorsen during my interview that I would do whatever it took to make Norwegian football great again. (I think an American politician said something similar a couple of decades back, but my memory might be going hazy in my advancing years.)

 

Mr Halvorsen appreciated my passion, though he was concerned about whether I could handle managing two teams at the same time. I reassured him that my managing Norway would not interfere with my managing Dagenham & Redbridge, as the domestic and international football calendars did not overlap. I also added that Neil Booth - my chairman at Dagenham - had given me permission to pursue a second job.

 

At the end of the interview process, Mr Halvorsen asked me that question about whether I knew what I was getting myself into. I replied, "Absolutely. I have succeeded against the odds plenty of times before. There is no reason why I cannot do that again."

 

"That'll be all for now, Mr Fuller," Mr Halvorsen said. "We'll get back to you when we've gone through all the candidates and selected the best one."

 

The Norwegian FA phoned me again on the evening on 14 October, as I was thinking through some late plans for the Daggers' home Championship game against Sheffield United. I was the board's number one candidate.

 

When asked if I was going to accept their job offer, I responded, "Thank you for giving me this opportunity. I am of course going to accept it!"

 

At 48 years of age, I was about to make my first foray into international football management. I would be announced as the new head coach of Norway's national team the following evening, after my Daggers played against United. I would then fly into Oslo a day later to meet my new bosses and speak to the Norwegian press for the first time.

 

One of Norway's most famous sons was the 19th-century playwright Henrik Ibsen. Among his most significant and revealing works was 1892's 'Bygmester Solness', also known by its English title of 'The Master Builder'. It tells the story of the successful small-town architect Halvard Solness, who is haunted by the rise of younger rivals and crippled by guilt.

 

I don't share any of Halvard's anxieties, but I'd like to think that I'm a 'Master Builder' of football teams, and that I could build a formidable national team with Norway. Just call me 'Bygmester Fuller'.

[CFuller]

Hei, lesere! (Hello, readers!)

What you're reading here is the fifth story based on my long-term FM13 career save. You can find the other four installments here for your perusal:

Welcome to Romford (Romford: 2012-2022)
Another Night In Istanbul (A short story covering the UEFA Euro 2020 Final)
Ongi Etorri Euskal Herria (Elgoibar: July-September 2022)
House of Flying Daggers (Dagenham & Redbridge: October 2022-present)

In this story, I will focus on my first international job - as manager of the Norway national team. This will be updated periodically as my main story with Dagenham & Redbridge progresses, so there could be only 1-2 days between some chapters, but weeks between others.

I'll also be using this story to try out a few subtle formatting changes that I plan to bring into 'HoFD' in the near-future. Any feedback on that would be kindly appreciated.

Christopher Fuller (CFuller)
5 May 2017

[CFuller]

BACKGROUND

Association football in Norway dates back to the 1880s, when the sport was introduced by the British. In 1885, the country's first football club - Christiania FC - was founded. Odds BK were established nine years later and are the oldest Norwegian football club still in existence.

 

A football association - Norges Fotballforbund, or NFF - was formed in 1902. The inaugural edition of the national knock-out competition - the Norgesmesterskapet - also took place that year, with Odds losing in the Final to Grane.

 

In 1908, Norway were invited by Sweden to play their first international match in Gothenburg. A national team was formed, with the first squad consisting mostly of players from the then national champions Mercantile FK, who were based in the capital city of Oslo. Sweden ran out convincing 11-3 winners, and it would be a couple of years before Norway played internationally again.

 

Norway went without a win in their first 27 international fixtures, with their biggest nadir being a 12-0 thrashing against Denmark in 1917. However, a year later, they got their revenge, stunning the Danes 3-1 to register their first ever international victory. The Norwegians were starting to find their feet.

 

Norway made their competition debut at the 1920 Olympic Games in Antwerp. Inspired by Einar Gundersen, who would score 26 goals in 33 caps during his international career, they beat Great Britain in the first round before losing to Czechoslovakia in the next. It wasn't until the next decade, though, that Norway started to become a real force on the footballing stage.

 

The 1936 Olympic Games in Berlin were a real high point for Norwegian football. After recording a stunning 2-0 Quarter Final win over hosts Germany in front of a crowd that included Adolf Hitler, Norway went on to finish 3rd and pick up the bronze medals. Two years later, they qualified for the FIFA World Cup in France, losing in the opening round to holders Italy in extra-time.

 

In 1937, between the Olympics and the World Cup, the NFF founded Norway's first national league. Fredrikstad were the inaugural champions of the Norgesserien, which is now known as the Eliteserien. With 11 titles, the Aristokratene are the league's second-most successful team behind Trondheim-based side Rosenborg, who have been crowned champions on an incredible 32 occasions.

 

Norway was invaded by Germany in 1940, and organised football in the country ceased until the Second World War was over. That five-year hiatus proved devastating for the Norway national team, who'd lost all their post-Berlin momentum and wouldn't get close to qualifying for another major tournament until they narrowly missed out on reaching the 1966 FIFA World Cup.

 

The self-imposed exclusion of professional footballers from playing for the Norway national team was abolished in 1969. The team struggled during the first few years after the end of the amateurs-only rule, but results picked up in the latter half of the 1970s. They were somewhat unfortunate to miss out on qualifying for the 1978 World Cup to local rivals Sweden.

 

The 1982 World Cup qualifying campaign was also unsuccessful, but unforgettable. Although they finished bottom of their group, they still managed to beat the mighty England 2-1 in Oslo on 9 September 1981. After the final whistle, Norwegian radio commentator Bjorge Lillelien excitedly proclaimed, "Lord Nelson, Lord Beaverbrook, Sir Winston Churchill, Sir Anthony Eden, Clement Attlee, Henry Cooper, Lady Diana, we have beaten them all! We have beaten them all! Maggie Thatcher, can you hear me? Maggie Thatcher, your boys took a hell of a beating! Your boys took a hell of a beating!"

 

Norway qualified for the 1984 Olympic Games in Los Angeles, although they crashed out at the Group Stage, and then upset world champions Italy 2-1 in Lecce a year later. Another victory over the Italians in 1991, under the guidance of new national coach Egil Olsen, marked the beginning of Norwegian football's renaissance.

 

Olsen's methodical, defensive approach helped Norway to qualify for the World Cup in 1994 - the first time they had made it to the finals of that competition for over half a century. They were also, for a time, in 2nd place in the then-embryonic FIFA World Rankings. They started the World Cup with a victory over Mexico, but a 1-0 defeat to Italy and a goalless draw against the Republic of Ireland meant that 'Drillo' and his charges narrowly missed out on the knockout rounds.

 

The following year saw Norway lift the FIFA Women's World Cup in Sweden, with goals from Hege Riise and Marianne Pettersen defeating Germany in the Final. It was a fantastic achievement for the 'Grasshoppers', who'd lost the inaugural World Cup Final to the United States in 1991. Norway's women were now on top of the world - mind you, the men weren't too shabby either.

 

Young strikers Tore André Flo and Ole Gunnar Solskjaer were introduced to the team during the 1998 World Cup qualifiers. Both men were in fine form as Norway comfortably qualified for France '98. After unconvincing draws against Morocco and Scotland, their tournament came alive on 23 June 1998, when Kjetil Rekdal's penalty saw them beat the defending champions Brazil 2-1 in their final group game. Although Norway's run ended in Round 2 against Italy, it had been an unforgettable experience.

 

Olsen stepped down after the World Cup, and his assistant Nils Johan Semb guided Norway to their first UEFA European Championship finals in 2000. Steffen Iversen gave them an impressive win over Spain in their first group game. However, La Furia Roja would go on to deprive Norway of a Quarter Final place, courtesy of a late comeback against Yugoslavia in the final round of group fixtures.

 

Failure to qualify for either the 2002 World Cup or Euro 2004 prompted Semb to resign. Age Hareide succeeded him but was also unsuccessful in trying to guide Norway to another major finals.

 

Olsen, whose reputation had been sullied somewhat by a disastrous reign at Wimbledon during the 1999/2000 Premier League season, returned to the Norway set-up in 2009. However, not even he could turn around their fortunes, and he retired for good in 2013.

 

New manager Ola By Rise guided Norway to the UEFA Euro 2016 finals, but they performed dismally in France, failing to score a single goal. After Rise, the Norwegians went through a succession of different managers who brought through a new generation of players. Despite that, they have not qualified for any major tournaments by right since.

 

Norwegian football had a brief resurgence in 2032, when the country hosted that year's European Championship. However, Ronny Deila's side produced one of the worst tournament performances of any host nation, drawing their first two group games against Latvia and the Czech Republic before losing to Ukraine. Deila retired after that embarrassment and was replaced by Henning Hauger.

 

Norway hit arguably their lowest ebb in the qualifiers for the 2034 World Cup. They finished 5th in a six-team group, won only two matches, and suffered a shocking 3-0 away defeat to San Marino in their final game. Needless to say, the Norwegian media were distraught.

 

Hauger was unceremoniously dismissed straight after the San Marino humiliation, although his future as national team coach had already been under serious threat.

 

Now it's my turn to take the reins, and hopefully take Norway back to their rightful place in the upper echelons of European international football. Incredibly, they have not won a match at a major tournament since 2000, and they haven't qualified for a World Cup since 1998. For a country of such high standing, that level of underachievement is incredible.

 

I'm the first non-Norwegian to take over the national team since Swede Tord Grip, who failed to win a single game during a brief spell in charge between 1987 and 1988. I am also Norway's third English head coach after Ron Lewin (1956-1957) and George Curtis (1972-1974), who also performed dismally during their reigns. Surely I can't do any worse than them?

 

Most international caps for Norway:

John Arne Riise           2000-2015    122
Thorbjorn Svenssen        1947-1962    104
Markus Henriksen          2010-2027    104
Henning Berg              1992-2004    100
Erik Thorstvedt           1982-1996    97

 

Most international goals for Norway:

Thomas Wikstrand          2024-present 36
Jorgen Juve               1928-1937    33
Einar Gundersen           1917-1928    26
Harald Hennum             1949-1960    25
John Carew                1998-2011    24

 

[mark wilson27]

Good luck with Norway mate, what is your realistic expectations for them.

[CFuller]

20 hours ago, mark wilson27 said:

Good luck with Norway mate, what is your realistic expectations for them.

The Euro 2036 qualifying groups haven't been drawn yet, so it depends on who we get. A top-two finish would see us qualify automatically, but a more realistic target is 3rd place, which could see us progress into a play-off.

I'd like to think that I can take Norway into either of the next two major tournaments - Euro 2036 or the 2038 World Cup. The talent is certainly there (probably not so much the squad depth), but the results haven't been.

[CFuller]

OCTOBER 2033

I was announced as the new national team manager of Norway on 15 October 2033, just hours after my Dagenham & Redbridge team defeated Sheffield United.

 

I had already told my Dagenham players about my new secondary job, but I reassured them that I would remain fully committed to our challenge for promotion from the Championship. This new role would only take me away from Victoria Road during international breaks.

 

The NFF President, Ole Einar Halvorsen, had asked me to fly into Oslo the next day, so that I could be publicly unveiled as Norway manager. After a two-hour flight from London, I arrived in the Norwegian capital to meet my new boss, who greeted me at the airport.

 

"Mr Fuller, we are so honoured to have you here," Mr Halvorsen beamed. "I hope this is the start of a great journey for us."

 

I was then driven to the NFF headquarters, where I finalised a contract that would initially run until the end of UEFA Euro 2036, with a possible two-year extension until the 2038 FIFA World Cup. I would be paid around £225,000 per annum, which equated to a little under £4,400 per week.

 

Mr Halvorsen then showed me around the headquarters, educating me on the history of Norwegian football, and on most of the players that I would be managing. The two biggest names in the Norway team were arguably captain Kristoffer Svendsen, who'd been a rock-solid centre-back at Atlético Madrid for a decade, and record goalscorer Thomas Wikstrand.

 

I then had the rest of the evening to sample the many glorious sights and sounds of Oslo. Then, on Monday afternoon, it was time to meet the press.

 

I had got used to a heightened media presence at Dagenham & Redbridge since our rise from the Conference Premier to the Championship, but I'd never previously attended a busier press conference than this one. It seemed like every major media outlet in Norway was there - covering national television, online news, radio (that's still a thing), you name it.

 

Truth be told, I hardly knew anyone in the room, with one exception. One of the reporters was the same Norwegian fella named Erik who'd rather bemusingly covered the first press conference of my ill-fated reign at Elgoibar 11 years earlier. Who would've thought that we'd cross paths again?

 

Mr Halvorsen began the press conference with a brief statement in Norwegian, and then seamlessly switched back to English.

 

"God ettermiddag, damer og herrer. Det er min glede, som formann for Norges Fotballforbund, å introdusere deg til den nye trener av norske menns nasjonale fotballag. Han kommer fra England med et økende rykte, og jeg er selvsikker til at han vil inspirere Norge til å kvalifisere seg til store turneringer i fremtiden.

 

"Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. It is my great pleasure, as the President of the Norwegian Football Board, to introduce you to the new coach of the Norway men's national football team. He arrives from England with a growing reputation, and I have confidence that he will inspire Norway to qualify for major tournaments in the future. So please give a warm welcome to Mr Christopher Fuller."

 

After giving me a round of applause, the journalists took turns to fire questions in my direction. My grasp of the Norwegian language was rudimentary at best, but I wouldn't need to embarrass myself here. Nearly 90% of Norwegian people spoke English proficiently, including all those present in the press room, so I was grateful that all questions were asked in my native tongue.

 

"Welcome to Norway, Christopher. How pleased are you to be here, and how much are you looking forward to the challenges ahead?"

"Thank you. I am very pleased to be here in this wonderful country, and in this incredible city of Oslo. This is my first job as an international football manager, so I'm obviously feeling a mixture of nervousness and excitement, but I've wanted to take on a challenge like this for some time. With the European Championship set to be hosted in my native England in about three years' time, I really wanted to take on the task of leading a country to those finals, so this was an opportunity I couldn't really turn down."

 

"To those Norwegians who perhaps don't have much knowledge of English football, could you just give them a sense of what you've achieved in your career so far?"

"I've been managing in England almost non-stop for over 20 years, with the exception of a very brief spell in Spain. I became manager of Dagenham & Redbridge - a team that's very local to where I grew up - 11 years ago. Since then, I have taken them from the fifth tier of English football to the Championship, which is the second tier. We also had a couple of excellent results in the FA Cup a couple of years back, beating Tottenham Hotspur and Blackburn Rovers, so we're a club that's very much on the up. I still love managing Dagenham, so I'll be staying in that job as well as managing Norway."

 

"It has been a very long time since Norway last qualified for a major tournament on merit. Many people before you have tried and failed. What makes you think you'll be different?"

"Throughout my club career, particularly at Dagenham & Redbridge, I've gained a reputation as someone who can make the most out of a difficult situation and create a team that's greater than the sum of its parts.

"Norway haven't gradually worsened over the years in terms of international football because the talent pool has dried up. They're still producing some excellent players - Kristoffer Svendsen, Thomas Wikstrand, Ronny Ulfsby, to name a few. You've only failed because you keep appointing managers that, let's been honest, don't have the skills required to mould these top players into a strong team. I believe I can do that, and that's why I feel I'm the man to make Norwegians proud of their football team again."

 

"Quite a few Norwegians will be unhappy that a foreigner has been appointed to manage the national team. Do you think that your nationality will matter when it comes to managing in international football?"

"I don't think of it as being that important. It certainly helps if you're born and bred in the country and truly passionate about your national team, but it's not a prerequisite. Back home in England, we had Gianluca Atzori - and he won both the European Championship and the World Cup while he was there. That's a bit different, as England had a world-class team, and Atzori was a world-class manager, but my point stands.

"As for my situation, I'll just reiterate what I just said. Plenty of Norwegians have tried and failed to make the most of Norway's talents in the past, so why not give an outsider like me a go?"

 

"You've mentioned Kristoffer Svendsen - the captain of Norway. He's nearly 34 years of age now. Will you be looking to keep him in the side and build the team around him, or will you look towards younger options?"

"I've watched Kris play for Atlético Madrid in La Liga over the last decade or so, and in my opinion, he is still one of the strongest centre-halves in Spanish football right now. It would be utterly foolish to ditch him just for the sake of making room for youth. Kris is a real leader of men, and so he'll remain a vital part of my plans for at least the next qualification campaign. I can also guarantee that he will remain captain of Norway for as long as he's still playing international football."

 

"There are concerns among the press that many of Norway's current internationals - Svendsen included - are on the wrong side of 30. Will you persist with these experienced players, or will you look to blood younger talents?"

"Most of those players you're talking about are either at their peak or have only just passed it. I'll be sticking with them for the Euro qualifiers, where their experience will be vital. At the same time, though, I will be aiming to ditch the obvious dead wood and look to the long-term. There are a few young players on the fringes of the national team who need opportunities to show what they can do, and that's what I'll be giving them."

 

"You've decided to combine your current club job with this role as Norway manager. Are you confident that you can handle the added pressure of holding not one but two managerial positions?"

"Well, I wouldn't be here if I didn't think I could. You probably won't want to admit it, but being an international manager does not necessarily have to be a full-time job. I can combine the roles of full-time manager at Dagenham & Redbridge with the part-time role in Norway. It just means that I'll have more work to do during the international breaks, and as someone who really enjoys his profession, that's something I will relish.

"Of course, I won't be able to spend much time in Norway outside of the international match calendar. That's why I'm going to hire a coaching team of former Norwegian internationals who've been there and done that before. I'll be in regular contact with them, and they'll be my eyes and ears when it comes to selecting my squad."

 

"As an international manager, you will be under a lot of pressure to hit the ground running. Are you confident that you will be able to get off to a good start in the Euro qualifiers?"

"That pretty much depends on who we get in the draw for the qualifiers. I do think, though, that we do have enough quality in the Norway team to make a strong start and put ourselves in a strong position to qualify early on."

 

"One final question. Do you intend to learn Norwegian during your time as Norway manager?"

"Ja, jeg vil. [Laugh] I know that most of you Norwegians can speak English, and that you generally speak it much better than a lot of English people, but I feel it would be disrespectful if I only spoke in my mother tongue. Us Britons have a bad reputation when it comes to that. I'll be learning Norwegian while I'm in this role, so that I can put my points across in two languages.

"Thank you. Takk."

 

My first press conference had gone swimmingly, but my day wasn't quite over yet. I still had to honour a few more interviews for Norwegian television - specifically for the public broadcaster NRK, the satellite station TV 2, and the online network VGTV.

 

By the evening, I was absolutely exhausted, and my voice was beginning to crack. I had thoroughly enjoyed my first few days as Norway manager, but I was pleased to fly back home and get some rest before returning to work with Dagenham & Redbridge.

 

As Norway weren't scheduled to play any matches until February, I now had the best part of four months to focus on my day job before planning for my first game with the national team. In the meantime, I would assemble a new coaching team and keep abreast with all developments regarding any prospective players.

 

I didn't want my coaches at Dagenham & Redbridge to get distracted from their day jobs whilst I was away with Norway, so I wouldn't take any of them over to my new national team. Instead, I added three former senior internationals who'd been there and done that in Norwegian football to my backroom.

 

My assistant would be the former Burnley and Blackpool left-back Knut Olav Rindaroy, who picked up his only two Norway caps in 2009 and 2010. 48-year-old Rindaroy was the assistant manager at Aalesund, who'd just been relegated from the Eliteserien, but I felt his tactical knowledge would be invaluable.

 

Also joining my coaching team was ex-Feyenoord midfielder Ole Kristian Selnaes - a veteran of 22 international matches. Selnaes was a disciplined attacking coach who also had good man-management skills, particularly with younger players. The 39-year-old would help our most youthful prospects to bed into the team.

 

Last, but not least, I hired 59-cap André Hansen as goalkeeping coach. The 43-year-old had a couple of spells in the Premier League with Fulham and Liverpool during his career, and he also played for the likes of Ajax and 1.FC Koln.

 

I was looking forward to working with all three of those gentlemen, but even more so the players I now had at my disposal. I could hardly wait for February to come around, and for this next chapter in my managerial career to begin in earnest.

[CFuller]

FEBRUARY 2034

It was the afternoon of 12 February. Barely 24 hours earlier, I had led Dagenham & Redbridge into an FA Cup Round 5 tie away to my boyhood club Arsenal - a match that we lost 1-0. Now, though, I was looking ahead to my first international qualification campaign as Norway manager.

 

The draw for the 2036 UEFA European Championship qualifiers was being staged at MediaCityUK in Salford. I'd hired a helicopter to take me from Essex to the north-west, so that I could attend the draw in person. Also in attendance was Ole Einar Halvorsen - the NFF's President - plus representatives from the other 52 members of UEFA.

 

Assisting UEFA's draw masters in the ceremony were a host of former England internationals. As we were near Manchester, which would host several finals matches (including a Semi Final), it seemed apt that four of the players who were selected had strong links with either Manchester City or Manchester United.

 

United icons Damien King and Salford-born Paul Scholes both featured, as did Joe Hart and - somewhat amusingly - Shaun Wright-Phillips from the blue half of the city. There were also a couple of representatives from other English clubs in Sol Campbell - a very divisive figure in north London - and Alan Shearer, who is practically worshipped as a God on Tyneside.

 

The 52 teams in the qualifying draw were divided into six pots, based on their FIFA World Ranking. Our ranking of 105th put us in the lower end of the draw, in the fourth pot. The teams were drawn one-by-one into any of 10 groups - two consisting of six teams, and the remainder consisting of five.

 

Pretty much everyone who's followed European international football will know how the qualifiers work, but I'll just provide an explanation for the uninitiated. Every team in a group would play one another, home and away, in a round-robin format. Once that phase was complete, the top two teams in each group would automatically qualify for the finals alongside hosts England.

 

The 3rd-placed teams in each group would then be ranked based on their group results (any results against the 6th-placed sides in Groups A and B are discarded). The top six from that list of 3rd-placed teams would advance to a knockout play-off round that would determine who claimed the three remaining spots in the finals.

 

UEFA really like to drag their draw ceremonies on, but thankfully, everything was done and dusted within the timeframe of a regular football match - about 90 minutes. By the end, though, I was starting to realise just how tough a job it would be to try and guide Norway into the Euros.

 

We had been drawn into Group E - one of the five-team groups, and perhaps the toughest one around. To put things in context, three of our four opponents had won FIFA World Cups and/or European Championships before.

 

Germany were by some margin the biggest team in our group. Managed by Marc-André Kruska, they had sat 2nd in the FIFA World Rankings since losing on penalties to England in the UEFA Euro 2032 Final. The Mannschaft reached the FIFA Confederations Cup Final a year later, and although they lost to Argentina in extra-time, they would be strong contenders for the World Cup upon their next trip to South America.

 

The Germans were very likely to dominate the midfield in our two meetings with them, as 30-year-olds Frank Kunz and Andrzej Wolanski were both in imperious form for Real Betis. Up front, we would have to seriously worry about Manchester City's Martin Klonz and Barcelona's Thomas Weber, while 23-year-old Dawid Wisniewski was emerging as one of world football's elite goalkeepers.

 

Ukraine represented Group E's other big fish. Although they hadn't gone close to emulating their incredible World Cup success from 2014, the Zhovto-Blakytni were finding their feet again and starting to look like a formidable force once more.

 

In terms of individual players, their best one was perhaps Monaco left-winger Andriy Korol, shortly followed by West Bromwich Albion midfielder Ivan Shtan'ko. Several members of their squad were likely to come from defending Premyer-Liha champions Metalist Kharkiv, including striker Mykola Basanets.

 

If Germany and Ukraine were expected to hoover up the automatic qualification places, our biggest rivals for 3rd place - and a potential play-off spot - were Greece. The standout players in the Greek side were Lille forward Orestis Lykoudis and Hamburg right-winger Angelos Grigoriadis, but not the legendary Bayern Munich midfielder Christos Vassiliadis, who retired from internationals a few years ago.

 

The group's outsiders were Northern Ireland, who seriously lacked depth in their squad and drew most of their players from the English lower leagues. Although Philip Lowry's Green and White Army were only a handful of places below us in the World Rankings, it would be downright embarrassing if we somehow finished below them.

 

The Euro 2036 qualifiers would start in September. Before then, I would have a handful of friendly matches in which I could get to grips with my Norway team and figure out not just who my best players were, but also which formations they would be most suited to playing in.

 

At Dagenham & Redbridge, I'd almost completely abandoned winged formations in favour of narrower systems, such as a 4-4-2 diamond or the good ol' 4-3-2-1 'Christmas tree'. Though I would certainly try to use the former with Norway, several of their most prominent players were wingers, and so I couldn't just shun them completely.

 

Looking at my player pool, I figured that fielding a 4-2-3-1 was probably the best way forward. Record scorer Thomas Wikstrand would ideally be the focal point of our attack, with fellow veterans Per Kristian Rossbach and Ronny Ulfsby on the flanks. The attacking midfield shot behind Wikstrand would be very much up for grabs, as would most of the other starting places further back.

 

Two defensive players who could be confident about keeping their places were centre-back Kristoffer Svendsen and goalkeeper Kim André Gasland. Captain Svendsen was still a dependable defensive rock, even though he had just celebrated his 34th birthday. As for Gasland, he was - in all honestly - probably the only half-decent player Norway now had between the posts.

 

The fact that Norway were still heavily reliant on the likes of Svendsen and Ulfsby, who were much closer to the end of their respective careers than the start, was of major concern. My predecessor Henning Hauger had not done a particularly great job of blooding younger players into an ageing team, and that was something I would look to put right quickly.

 

My inaugural match as Norway boss would take place on 28 February, when we hosted Nordic rivals Iceland in a friendly international. About a week-and-a-half before then, I announced the makeup of my first squad. While most of the old-stagers from previous failed qualifying campaigns were retained, I freshened things up a little with a couple of new (or new-ish) faces, especially in midfield.

 

NAME                       POSITIONS       AGE    CLUB               CAPS   GOALS  HEIGHT WEIGHT     VALUE
Kim André Gasland          GK              31     Sunderland         27     0      5'11"  12st 12lbs £400K
Sivert Lindahl             GK              30     Sarpsborg          1      0      6'1"   13st 7lbs  £24K
Espen Norbech              GK              29     Rosenborg          0      0      6'2"   13st 9lbs  £10K
Dagfinn Haug               D (RC)          32     Haugesund          34     0      5'9"   11st 13lbs £85K
Trond Belsas               D (RLC)         27     Brann              3      0      5'11"  12st 3lbs  £75K
Ken Albert Auno            D (L)           24     Rosenborg          1      0      6'3"   14st 0lbs  £28K
Kristoffer Svendsen        D (LC)          34     Atlético Madrid    95     1      6'0"   12st 6lbs  £775K
Tobias Juliussen           D (C)           26     Hannover           5      0      6'4"   14st 4lbs  £1M
Mikael Nordnes             D (C)           29     Sheff Utd          20     1      6'3"   13st 7lbs  £13.4M
Emil Solberg               D (C), ST       31     Newcastle          59     2      6'2"   13st 5lbs  £2M
Per Morten Styrkesnes      D/WB (L)        34     Gaziantepspor      56     2      5'7"   11st 0lbs  £40K
Anders Engebraten          DM, M (C)       23     Viking             0      0      5'9"   11st 11lbs £60K
Ronny Ulfsby               M (RC), AM (R)  33     Hannover           68     12     6'2"   13st 3lbs  £1.4M
Ronny Brodholt             M (C)           31     Sampdoria          32     0      5'5"   10st 3lbs  £2.8M
Jarle Kleppa Christensen   M (C)           32     Wolves             68     2      5'11"  11st 13lbs £625K
Jens Rikard Normann        M/AM (R)        29     Bastia             15     1      5'3"   8st 13lbs  £4.7M
Per Kristian Rossbach      M/AM (L)        30     Heerenveen         53     2      5'10"  11st 6lbs  £650K
Tom Inge Fiskum            M/AM (C)        22     Valerenga          0      0      5'8"   11st 2lbs  £110K
Snorre Welde               M/AM (C)        33     Spezia             84     10     6'0"   12st 10lbs £350K
Frode Krovel               AM (RL), ST     27     Sassuolo           18     4      5'11"  12st 6lbs  £1.3M
Dogus Ayan                 AM (LC)         26     Trabzonspor        10     1      6'0"   12st 6lbs  £4.3M
Marius Vesterskov          ST              27     Toulouse           9      1      5'11"  12st 6lbs  £3.1M
Thomas Wikstrand           ST              29     Dusseldorf         68     36     6'0"   12st 6lbs  £6.5M

 

[JayR2003]

Just judging by the chart you gave us, your squad looks set for a 4-2-3-1, but your fullbacks might leave a little to be desired.  You'll be relying on those wingers to do a lot themselves.  That said, you might be able to use that to your advantage on the counter by keeping those wingers up the pitch ready to break should they get the opportunity.

[CFuller]

9 hours ago, JayR2003 said:

Just judging by the chart you gave us, your squad looks set for a 4-2-3-1, but your fullbacks might leave a little to be desired.  You'll be relying on those wingers to do a lot themselves.  That said, you might be able to use that to your advantage on the counter by keeping those wingers up the pitch ready to break should they get the opportunity.

I'd call it more of a 'squad list' than a 'chart', but I think your suspicions might be right. I would certainly say that full-backs are certainly our weakest links. Our first-choice left-back Styrkesnes, for instance, is very strong technically and mentally, but at 34, his physical attributes are declining and will continue to do so. It remains to be seen whether he can last the full qualification campaign.

Hopefully this next update will shed a bit more light on the players at my disposal.

[CFuller]

NORWAY PLAYER PROFILES

All information correct as of 28 February 2034.

 

The players I have highlighted below have represented Norway since June 2033 (and are still eligible) and/or are likely to play for the national team in the near-future.

 

GOALKEEPERS

Kim André Gasland (age 31, Sunderland)

[27 caps, 0 goals]

Norway have not had a solid first-choice keeper for several years, but Gasland is currently their best by quite a considerable margin. With excellent reflexes and a calm attitude, the 5ft 11in shotstopper makes up for a relative lack of height. Gasland spent two-and-a-half years at Omonoia Nicosia before signing for Sunderland in January 2033, but he has made just one appearance for the Black Cats since then.

Sivert Lindahl (age 30, Sarpsborg)

[1 cap, 0 goals]

Although well-rounded and very professional, Lindahl does not have enough top-flight experience to really be a regular starter in the national team. He returned to the Norwegian league last summer after three difficult years in Holland with Roda.

Espen Norbech (age 29, Rosenborg)

[uncapped]

The fact that Norbech is even being considered for a place in my team sums up the lack of depth Norway has in goal. He has spent the last two years as Rosenborg's second-choice goalkeeper, behind Lithuania international Aurimas Svedkauskas.

Magnus Sundt (age 31, Sarpsborg)

[2 caps, 0 goals]

Though he is not Sarpsborg's regular goalkeeper, Sundt does have plenty of Eliteserien experience, having kept goal for Sogndal for several years. He commands his area well and could add to his two caps if he can regain his starting place at club level.

 

DEFENDERS

Ken Albert Auno (age 24, Rosenborg)

[1 cap, 0 goals]

Auno has steadily worked his way into the Rosenborg first-team over the last few years. Granted his first Norway cap against Nigeria last August, this workaholic left-back will now have to prove that he can hack it at international level.

Trond Belsas (age 27, Brann)

[3 caps, 0 goals]

Belsas can play anywhere across the defensive line, but his work rate and stamina make him better suited for a full-back slot than a centre-back role. A brave and strong tackler, he has been a solid if not spectacular performer for Brann over the last four years.

Dagfinn Haug (age 32, Haugesund)

[34 caps, 0 goals]

Haug has been Norway's regular right-back for some time now but might now be coming towards the end of his international career. Although he reads the game very well, he is rather slow off the mark, hence the need to look for younger options. He is regarded as a legend at Haugesund, where he has played for the best part of a decade, save for a two-year stint in Romania with Otelul Galati.

Tobias Juliussen (age 26, Hannover 96)

[5 caps, 0 goals]

Capped just five times since his debut in 2031, Juliussen's chance to cement a regular play in the Norway side is long overdue. The imposing centre-half moved to Bundesliga side Hamburg last summer and has been used almost exclusively as a substitute.

Mikael Nordnes (age 29, Sheffield United)

[20 caps, 1 goal]

I am very familiar with Nordnes for his now five-year stint at Bramall Lane and intend to use him fairly regularly. He is a fantastic Championship centre-back whose attitude will hopefully rub off on the younger players in my squad.

Anders Heramb Ramberg (age 32, Molde)

[43 caps, 1 goal]

Ramberg has been Molde's main left-back for nearly a decade and has been part of the Norway set-up for slightly longer. However, he is noticeably on the decline and may struggle to get back in the team now that I'm in charge.

Emil Solberg (age 31, Newcastle United)

[59 caps, 2 goals]

Solberg is almost undroppable for Norway, despite struggling at Newcastle United since his £3million transfer from Valenciennes in January. He's difficult to beat in the air, he's a strong tackler on the ground, and he can be used as an attacking target man as well as a central defensive stopper. I'm expecting to be in the squad for at least another four years.

Per Morten Styrkesnes (age 34, Gaziantepspor)

[56 caps, 2 goals]

Styrkesnes has always been a solid left-back for Norway and will remain my first-choice for at least the start of my reign. He hardly ever loses his focus and still has enough physical fitness to deal with international football. He is currently playing in Turkey's top flight, having previously turned out for the likes of Leicester City, Reading and Huddersfield Town.

Kristoffer Svendsen (age 34, Atlético Madrid)

[95 caps, 1 goal]

Svendsen is our oldest and most experienced player, and - more significantly - he has been Norway captain since 2027. He has also been an integral part of the Atlético Madrid defence since joining them from Hamburg for £11.25million over a decade ago. Despite his advancing years, this true leader of men is ready for one final attempt to qualify for a major international tournament.

 

MIDFIELDERS

Snorre Alexandersen (age 24, Rosenborg)

[1 cap, 0 goals]

Alexandersen has been a regular starter for Rosenborg since the age of 20 and will surely become a national team regular soon. He's a dependable deep-lying playmaker with excellent long-range shooting, though his lack of physical strength somewhat concerns me.

Dogus Ayan (age 26, Trabzonspor)

[10 caps, 1 goal]

Attacking midfielder Ayan has a really sweet first touch, but he has blown hot and cold for Trabzonspor in the Super Lig. Although born and raised in Turkey, his mother was born in Norway, hence his decision to represent the Scandinavians internationally.

Ronny Brodholt (age 31, Sampdoria)

[32 caps, 0 goals]

A regular in Serie A for the last decade, Brodholt is without any doubt one of our most creative players. Expect assists galore from a midfielder who has served his country with distinction since 2026 but has only recently become a regular starter. Don't expect him to win too many headers, though, as he stands at only 5ft 5in!

Anders Engebraten (age 23, Viking)

[uncapped]

Although he's yet to make his senior international bow, Engebraten could be part of the Norway team for a decade to come. The defensive midfielder was fairly impressive for Viking last year and is a good decision-maker, even when under pressure.

Tom Inge Fiskum (age 22, Valerenga)

[uncapped]

Capped 26 times by Norway's Under-21s, Fiskum is now ready to step up to the senior team. The spirited central midfielder has bags of stamina and an eye for a fine pass, so it's not surprising that national giants Rosenborg want to sign him.

Freddy Fjellandsbo (age 26, Fredrikstad)

[uncapped]

Fjellandsbo is an appropriately-named defensive midfielder with reigning Eliteserien champions Fredrikstad. He has a high work rate and possesses a deft first touch, not to mention a professional attitude, though his club form is rather inconsistent.

Arnt Erik Hoseth (age 30, Club Brugge)

[3 caps, 0 goals]

Central midfielder Hoseth is a fairly late bloomer, although his technical ability is very impressive. Having only just joined Club Brugge after several months as a free agent, I'll give him some time to settle in before reconsidering his international future.

Jarle Kleppa Christensen (age 32, Wolverhampton Wanderers)

[68 caps, 2 goals]

Kleppa Christensen is one of the fittest and most influential players in the Norwegian squad. He has great defensive qualities that make him a useful asset for most European top-flight clubs. He spent nine seasons as a regular starter at Bordeaux before crossing the English Channel to sign for Wolverhampton Wanderers in 2032.

Jens Rikard Normann (age 29, Bastia)

[15 caps, 1 goal]

Whenever wingers are the order of the day, Normann is a good player to throw on the right flank. An intelligent crosser with great anticipation, he has played for French yo-yo club Bastia since 2027 and will surely get a big move soon.

Per Kristian Rossbach (age 30, Heerenveen)

[53 caps, 2 goals]

Heerenveen semi-regular Rossbach is a potential left-wing option, and a great choice when it comes to free-kicks. Although he is not the quickest of wingers, he is an exceptional dribbler who can easily bamboozle opposition full-backs.

Oyvind Saevereid (age 27, Las Palmas)

[15 caps, 4 goals]

Saevereid was relegated from La Liga with Las Palmas a year ago and has struggled to hold onto his starting place since then. Although he's a fine advanced playmaker with a good work ethic, he may have to move to stay in my plans.

Ronny Ulfsby (age 33, Hannover 96)

[68 caps, 12 goals]

Vice-captain Ulfsby is approaching his 11th year as a Norway regular and is showing no signs of slowing down. The right-winger's pinpoint crossing and his set-piece prowess have helped him to perform consistently well for Hannover 96 in the Bundesliga. We will certainly have to make the most of his potentially game-changing abilities if we are to qualify for the European Championship.

Snorre Welde (age 33, Spezia)

[84 caps, 10 goals]

Left-footed midfielder Welde is one of our best-known players, thanks to his creative talents and his excellent technique. He will be very close to 36 come the Euros, though, and it remains to be seen whether he will be able to see another qualifying campaign through. The former Borussia Dortmund star has two brief stints in the Premier League - with Newcastle United and later Fulham - on his CV.

 

FORWARDS

Jan Holmedal (age 25, Dinamo Zagreb)

[8 caps, 3 goals]

I'll admit that I didn't expect to find one of Norway's best strikers in the Croatian top flight. Holmedal is a pacey, cool-finishing poacher who surprisingly won the Eliteserien with Aalesund as a teenager before moving to Zagreb in 2030.

Frode Krovel (age 27, Sassuolo)

[18 caps, 4 goals]

Krovel is a fairly inconsistent deep-lying forward who makes most of his international appearances from the bench. He recently joined Serie A strugglers Sassuolo on loan from Fortuna Dusseldorf, where he was the team-mate of our star striker.

Marius Vesterskov (age 27, Toulouse)

[9 caps, 1 goal]

He might be a regular for Toulouse in Ligue 1, but Vesterskov has never actually started an international game. This powerful poacher usually has to play second fiddle to the incomparable Wikstrand when he's in the Norwegian squad.

Thomas Wikstrand (age 29, Fortuna Dusseldorf)

[68 caps, 36 goals]

The undoubted attacking star of this Norway team, Wikstrand broke Jorgen Juve's long-standing record of 33 international goals for Norway last year. At club level, he has never failed to reach double figures for Dusseldorf in seven Bundesliga seasons. When you consider his pace, and how exceptional he is off the ball, that is not a real surprise.

[CFuller]

NORWAY vs ICELAND (Friendly)

The announcement of my first Norway squad was met with cautious optimism by the local media. There were no real shock inclusions or exclusions, while I was praised for giving opportunities to fresh blood such as Ken Albert Auno, Anders Engebraten and Tom Inge Fiskum.

 

Mind you, there were a few murmurings that I'd not ditched as much as the 'dead wood' as some journalists perhaps would've liked. For instance, there was some discord over the fact that 34-year-old left-back Per Morten Styrkesnes had not been dropped. I defended my selection of Styrkesnes, stating that he was still very fit for a man of his age and that he'd remain in the squad if he continued to perform consistently - both for me, and for his club Gaziantepspor.

 

Unfortunately, just days after my squad announcement, another Norway veteran had to pull out of the squad. Creative midfielder Ronny Brodholt had badly hurt his hip during the second half of his club Sampdoria's UEFA Europa League Round of 32 match at home to FC Zurich. As a result, he was unable to appear in my first game.

 

For a replacement, I turned to another young-ish player on the fringes of the Norway set-up. Snorre Alexandersen - a 24-year-old defensive midfielder with Rosenborg - had won just one cap thus far, against Moldova last year. A strong second performance from him would certainly boost his chances of being included in my next squad by right.

 

Thankfully, everyone else was present and correct as we gathered in Oslo for our first training camp. Captain Kristoffer Svendsen, who was in line for his 96th cap, was the first player to welcome me. He then kindly introduced me to several of his team-mates, pointing out some of their strengths and weaknesses.

 

We had a couple of training sessions on Monday - in the morning, and then again in the early evening. There was also a Tuesday morning session before the hard work began for real that night.

 

I had deliberately picked another Nordic nation to start off against. Iceland were the closest to us in the FIFA World Rankings (they were 98th, and thus only seven places above us), so I invited them to give us a game in Oslo.

 

The Icemen came to Norway with a fairly young squad, but very few names that would be familiar to non-Icelandic football fans. There was one man whose name particularly stood out to me.

 

Forward Baldur Hreidarsson had been on fire for me during a couple of loan spells at Dagenham & Redbridge, scoring 30 goals in 72 league games between 2031 and 2033. Hreidarsson was now 22 years old and a regular for West Ham United's reserve team. However, despite netting 17 times in just 18 matches for Iceland's Under-21s, Baldur hadn't even been considered for the senior side... until now.

 

While Hreidarsson was making his debut, Iceland's most-capped player ever was representing his country for the 114th time. 32-year-old centre-back Helgi Valsson had been a mainstay at Eredivisie side AZ for a decade and would be as important to his national team's defence as Svendsen would be to ours.

 

My first starting line-up for Norway contained a healthy mix of hardened experience and relative youth. While goalkeeper Kim André Gasland and his back four were all aged 31 or above, fresher legs could be found in midfield. There were debuts for 23-year-old Engebraten and 22-year-old Fiskum, the latter of whom was about to complete a transfer from Valerenga to Rosenborg. Alongside Fiskum was one of his new team-mates - the aforementioned Alexandersen.

 

The experienced Snorre Welde completed our midfield diamond and sat just behind strikers Frode Krovel and Thomas Wikstrand, who were very familiar with each other from their time together at Fortuna Dusseldorf. Would their chemistry be significant in this opening match of Norway's new era?

 

28 February 2034: Norway vs Iceland - at Ulleval Stadion, Oslo

My Norway reign almost got off to the perfect start after a little over 30 seconds. Midfield newcomer Anders Engebraten lobbed the ball into the Iceland penalty area, and Frode Krovel flicked forward a header that was well caught by goalkeeper Aron Birgisson. Our other striker Thomas Wikstrand wasn't quite so close to putting us ahead with his first couple of attempts at goal, both of which went off target.

 

After 13 minutes, Baldur Hreidarsson volleyed Iceland's first shot of the game horrendously wide. 'Strákarnir Okkar' wouldn't seriously test our boys defensively again in the first half. Engebraten almost got the better of them with an excellent 30-yarder in the 16th minute, but the Viking midfielder's effort floated just over the bar.

 

We looked like the better side... until our star man Wikstrand went down clutching his ankle in the 26th minute. A clash with Iceland stalwart Helgi Valsson had left Thomas unable to continue, and so Dogus Ayan had to come on as an inside-forward. Ayan was very ineffective in that role, and by half-time, I was having to consider making major changes to our frontline. Krovel's first-minute effort proved to be our only shot on target in the entire period.

 

Marius Vesterskov came on during the break to provide Krovel with a more efficient strike partner than Ayan, who moved to the attacking midfield role vacated by Snorre Welde. On 50 minutes, Welde's namesake - Snorre Alexandersen - hammered a blistering long-range shot towards the Icelandic goal. Alexandersen's shot struck the bar, and then an unsuspecting Birgisson's back, before bouncing back into play. Vesterskov tried to prod the ball home, but Valsson got to it first and cleared.

 

After that near-miss, it was more a case of 'snore' than 'Snorre'. A dire second period would see plenty more awful Norwegian shots, such as Tom Inge Fiskum's volley in the 67th minute, and an absolute howler from Vesterskov in the 79th.

 

It was also a bad night for Krovel, who flicked an 88th-minute header wide shortly after picking up a yellow card for pushing Icelandic centre-back Ólafur Thór Hallsson. Although Hallsson and Valsson had both played tremendously well to shut us out, that couldn't make up for the fact that out of 13 Norwegian shots at goal in this game, only one was on target - our very first one.

 

Norway's last international match before I came in had been a 3-0 humbling by San Marino, and the scars from that shock defeat hadn't yet healed. A goalless draw suggested that there would be a lot of hard work ahead.

 

Norway - 0

Iceland - 0

Friendly, Attendance 21,514

NORWAY LINE-UP: Gasland, Haug (Belsas), Solberg, Svendsen, Styrkesnes (Auno), Engebraten (Ulfsby), Alexandersen (Kleppa Christensen), Fiskum, Welde (Vesterskov), Krovel, Wikstrand (Ayan). BOOKED: Krovel.

 

The main positive I took from that match was that we'd kept a clean sheet. Of course, there was no escaping the fact that we really needed to sort out our attack if we were to stand a chance of qualifying for UEFA Euro 2036.

 

The general mood in Norway at full-time was one of uncertainty. Norwegian football fans had grown very used to disappointment over the last three decades, and this performance didn't immediately suggest that a renaissance was about to begin. Give me a couple of years, though, and I'm confident that'll change...

[CFuller]

MAY/JUNE 2034

Norway's FIFA World Ranking continued to plummet following the disappointing home draw against Iceland. We were knocked down seven places from 105th to 112th, below such footballing behemoths as Guatemala, Namibia and Oman. That wasn't actually Norway's worst ever ranking - they were way down in 122nd back in 2021, but it was certainly the lowest they had fallen for over a decade.

 

Fortunately, we did move back up a couple of spots to 110th before our next friendly match in June. Instead of playing another mid- or low-ranking European nation, I decided to take my team well away from their home comforts.

 

Surprisingly, the last time Norway played an away match against a non-UEFA nation was way back in 2022, when they were beaten 2-0 by Mexico. Sensing that Norway had grown rather stale by facing the same teams over and over again, I sought to change that - and organised a trip to Costa Rica in Central America at the start of June.

 

A number of Eliteserien clubs - most notably Molde and Rosenborg - were not best pleased about this. The home-based players in my squad would be playing on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean on Saturday 3 June, while their clubs would be taking part in league matches on Sunday. The likes of Rosenborg midfielders Snorre Alexandersen and Tom Inge Fiskum, for example, would therefore be unavailable for one round of Eliteserien fixtures.

 

My response to the concerned clubs was that I needed to have my Norway team together as much as possible, and that I also needed my players to adjust their game to different climates. After all, the 2038 FIFA World Cup would be hosted in Australia, and it wouldn't be much good if we qualified for the finals having restricted ourselves to playing in Europe.

 

The clubs understood where I was coming from and agreed to let me pick whoever I wanted for the Costa Rica game. There would be no withdrawals from any Eliteserien sides.

 

One of the home-based players I'd considered taking to San José was Viking's holding midfielder Anders Engebraten, who'd made his debut against Iceland. Unfortunately, he fractured his skull against defending Eliteserien champions Fredrikstad in mid-March, and he couldn't recover from that in time. Bastia winger Jens Rikard Normann would also be unavailable with a torn calf muscle.

 

NAME                       POSITIONS       AGE    CLUB               CAPS   GOALS  HEIGHT WEIGHT     VALUE
Kim André Gasland          GK              31     Sunderland         28     0      5'11"  12st 12lbs £375K
Anders Korneliussen        GK              29     Lillestrom         0      0      6'1"   13st 7lbs  £4K
Magnus Sundt               GK              31     Sarpsborg          2      0      6'0"   13st 5lbs  £18K
Dagfinn Haug               D (RC)          33     Haugesund          35     0      5'9"   11st 13lbs £40K
Trond Belsas               D (RLC)         28     Brann              4      0      5'11"  12st 3lbs  £70K
Ken Albert Auno            D (L)           24     Rosenborg          2      0      6'3"   14st 0lbs  £24K
Kristoffer Svendsen        D (LC)          34     Atlético Madrid    96     1      6'0"   12st 6lbs  £180K
Tobias Juliussen           D (C)           27     Hannover           5      0      6'4"   14st 4lbs  £850K
Mikael Nordnes             D (C)           29     Sheff Utd          20     1      6'3"   13st 7lbs  £3.3M
Emil Solberg               D (C), ST       31     Newcastle          60     2      6'2"   13st 5lbs  £1.8M
Per Morten Styrkesnes      D/WB (L)        34     Gaziantepspor      57     2      5'7"   11st 0lbs  £6K
Snorre Alexandersen        DM, M (C)       24     Rosenborg          2      0      5'10"  11st 11lbs £450K
Ronny Ulfsby               M (RC), AM (R)  33     Hannover           69     12     6'2"   13st 3lbs  £1.5M
Ronny Brodholt             M (C)           31     Sampdoria          32     0      5'5"   10st 3lbs  £2.5M
Jarle Kleppa Christensen   M (C)           32     Wolves             69     2      5'11"  11st 13lbs £140K
Per Kristian Rossbach      M/AM (L)        30     Heerenveen         53     2      5'10"  11st 6lbs  £625K
Tom Inge Fiskum            M/AM (C)        22     Rosenborg          1      0      5'8"   11st 2lbs  £240K
Snorre Welde               M/AM (C)        33     Spezia             85     10     6'0"   12st 10lbs £60K
Frode Krovel               AM (RL), ST     27     Sassuolo           19     4      5'11"  12st 6lbs  £1.3M
Orjan Olsen                AM (RC)         28     Molde              0      0      6'4"   13st 12lbs £525K
Dogus Ayan                 AM (LC)         26     Trabzonspor        11     1      6'0"   12st 6lbs  £4.6M
Marius Vesterskov          ST              28     Toulouse           10     1      5'11"  12st 6lbs  £3.8M
Thomas Wikstrand           ST              30     Dusseldorf         69     36     6'0"   12st 6lbs  £6M

 

That squad clearly highlighted the lack of decent backup goalkeepers to Kim André Gasland that I have at my disposal. My 'second-choice' goalie, Sivert Lindahl, was out with strained knee ligaments, so Lindahl's place in the squad went to his deputy at Sarpsborg - Magnus Sundt.

 

As for my 'third-choice' goalkeeper, I opted for the uncapped Anders Korneliussen, purely because he was playing regularly for Lillestrom in the top flight. Some Norwegian pundits argued that Korneliussen was nowhere near good enough to warrant a call-up, but it wasn't as if I had many other options to choose from.

 

Seriously, if anything happens to Gasland, you could say that we'd be joined to another object by an inclined plane wrapped helically around an axis. (If you're a fan of The Big Bang Theory, you'll understand what I mean.)

 

The other international rookie in my squad, although not a rookie in terms of club football, was Orjan Olsen. The 28-year-old attacking midfielder had played reasonably well for league leaders Molde at the start of this campaign, hence his inclusion.

[JayR2003]

83 degrees (28 C) and 85 % humidity.  Enjoy the weather, Norwegians! 

[Tom Ashley]

I've been reading the stories here for a while now, and I finally decided to join up officially this week.  I've started reading your "House of Flying Daggers" story, and I was happy to discover that I could join this story at its beginning.  Great job with the player profiles--I feel like I know your Norway team already!

I'll be following along. 

[CFuller]

14 hours ago, JayR2003 said:

83 degrees (28 C) and 85 % humidity.  Enjoy the weather, Norwegians! 

Talk about taking them away from their home comforts! 

It was actually only 19 degrees Celsius in San José for the match itself, but I see where you're coming from.

10 hours ago, Tom Ashley said:

I've been reading the stories here for a while now, and I finally decided to join up officially this week.  I've started reading your "House of Flying Daggers" story, and I was happy to discover that I could join this story at its beginning.  Great job with the player profiles--I feel like I know your Norway team already!

I'll be following along. 

Welcome aboard, Tom. "House of Flying Daggers" is my longest and arguably my finest work to date, but feel free to read up on my earlier stories (with Romford and Elgoibar) when you've caught up with that.

I'm glad you like my player profiles. I feel that they're a good way to introduce the reader to my players, and give them some background on their careers prior to me taking the Norway job.

[CFuller]

COSTA RICA vs NORWAY (Friendly)

The Norway squad flew out to the Americas on the last weekend of May 2034, ending a decade-long wait to play outside of Europe. It would've been nice had we been heading for Argentina, and the FIFA World Cup. Let's face facts, though - I almost certainly wouldn't be Norway's new manager had they qualified.

 

Our destination was Central America, as opposed to South America. We arrived in the Costa Rican capital of San José, where we would soon take on a formidable home team. For a country with a population of around 5 million, which was only slightly less than Norway's, they certainly punched above their weight in international football.

 

Costa Rica had long been regarded as one of the leading lights in the CONCACAF confederation. They were about to head into their seventh FIFA World Cup finals, where they had been paired with Brazil, Italy and Tunisia in the Group Stage. However, they had not made it through to the knockout stages of the World Cup since their debut appearance in 1990.

 

The standout player in La Sele's selection was perhaps their left-back Erick Rodriguez - a key component of the Napoli side that finished 5th in this season's Serie A. The most familiar name in Costa Rica's squad to English football fans was Reading's winger Danny Ceciliano, who was already on 172 international caps at the tender age of 31. On the right wing was Walter Rojas, who spent this campaign on loan at Southampton from Anderlecht.

 

I knew that CONCACAF members generally played quite a lot of international football. Nevertheless, it was surprising to see that no fewer than six of Costa Rica's players, including Ceciliano, had picked up a century of international caps. By contrast, our most experienced player - Kristoffer Svendsen - was about to win 'only' his 97th cap for Norway.

 

My starting line-up for this match included Sampdoria midfielder Ronny Brodholt, who was back from the hip injury that had ruled him out of my opening fixture. In addition, star striker Thomas Wikstrand had just about recovered from the broken ankle he had sustained in that 0-0 draw against Iceland.

 

Tom Inge Fiskum, who made his debut in the Iceland game, was given another start, while fellow midfielder Orjan Olsen of Molde was in line to receive his first cap if he came off the substitute's bench.

 

2 June 2034: Costa Rica vs Norway - at Estadio Nacional de Costa Rica, San José

I was wary of Costa Rica's pace up front, so I adopted a counter-attacking strategy for the opening stages of this match. The hosts would first put our defence under serious pressure in the 9th minute. Forward Carlos Gamboa evaded Norway defender Emil Solberg's slide tackle and knocked the ball to his strike partner Rigoberto Díaz, who then squared it ahead of midfielder Joshua Arias. An early opener for La Sele looked likely, but Kim André Gasland got down brilliantly to catch Arias' shot.

 

Gamboa's game ended barely a minute later, when he pulled his hamstring. Costa Rica subsequently brought on their most-capped player of all-time - attacking midfielder Esteban Cantillano, who made his 194th and final international appearance. The 33-year-old could have marked the occasion with his 30th goal, but Gasland made another fantastic save.

 

We launched our first attack on 23 minutes, with Frode Krovel nodding Ronny Ulfsby's free-kick wide. Costa Rica attacked again in the 28th minute, as Danny Ceciliano stung Gasland's palms with a vicious effort. Three minutes after that, Cantillano's Sele farewell turned sour. Norway midfielder Tom Inge Fiskum went in hard but fair on Cantillano, who crashed to the turf and picked up a knock that he couldn't shake off. It was a sad to an international career that had run for exactly 16 years.

 

Costa Rica looked rather shaky after that, and we could've exploited that in the 35th minute. Thomas Wikstrand played an excellent centre to Ulfsby, who unfortunately could only fire it against the side netting. The first half would finish goalless, and it seemed that another bore draw was on the cards...

 

We started to really get our attacking game going in the 54th minute. Krovel hit an audacious long-range shot that was caught by his Fortuna Dusseldorf team-mate Walter Quesada. Six minutes later, our other Dusseldorf striker came to life. Krovel ran onto a fabulous long ball from Norway right-back Trond Belsas and centred it from the byline to Wikstrand, who tucked it in at the near post! With his 37th goal for Norway, Wikstrand had got my reign as manager well and truly underway!

 

La Sele could've cancelled Thomas' goal out within a couple of minutes, but Gasland brilliantly palmed away a drive from Arias. Our defence was continuing to hold firm, but the first crack in our wall appeared after 66 minutes. Left-back Ken Albert Auno hurt himself quite badly after scrambling away Costa Rican counterpart Erick Rodriguez's cross, and so his game came to an early end.

 

Five minutes later, the hosts' right-winger José Luis Ceciliano (no relation to Danny) curled in a dangerous cross that had to be punched behind by Gasland. Kim looked safe as houses in the Norway goal... or at least he did until the 79th minute. Gasland made a major error when he rushed towards Danny Ceciliano in the six-yard box, allowing the Reading wideman to play the ball across goal to Olger Bustos, who stuck it into an unguarded net! Bustos, who played for Herediano in the Costa Rican league, appeared to have saved his team from a shock defeat.

 

However, with six minutes to go, we silenced the home fans for a second time! Wikstrand showed excellent anticipation skills when he fed the ball through space to Ulfsby, who smashed in a lethal strike from an angle! There was no coming back from that for Costa Rica, and after Danny Ceciliano was kept off the scoresheet twice more by Gasland, we managed to see out a fantastic 2-1 away from victory!

 

Costa Rica - 1 (Bustos 79)

Norway - 2 (Wikstrand 60, Ulfsby 84)

Friendly, Attendance 17,306

NORWAY LINE-UP: Gasland, Belsas, Svendsen, Solberg (Nordnes), Auno (Styrkesnes), Ulfsby, Brodholt (Kleppa Christensen), Fiskum (Olsen), Ayan (Rossbach), Krovel, Wikstrand (Vesterskov).

 

Wow! Who saw that coming?

 

Costa Rica were ranked 32nd in the world and were getting ready for the freakin' World Cup, yet we had defied all expectations to defeat them on their own soil!

 

A performance like that made me wonder how on earth Norway had gone nearly two decades without qualifying for a major tournament by right. There was certainly no lack of quality in this team - they just needed an astute manager to unlock their true potential. I'd like to think I'm just the right man to do that...

[CFuller]

AUGUST 2034

As a result of our impressive away win over Costa Rica, Norway shot up 15 places to 95th in the FIFA World Rankings for July 2034. Of course, we still had plenty more places to make up before we would be where we preferred to be, but as the old Chinese proverb goes, "a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step".

 

While most European leagues shut down for the summer, the Eliteserien continued apace, as did the other Scandinavian leagues for that matter. When July came around, though, it marked the start of a new continental season... and the opening of another transfer window.

 

National number 1 Kim André Gasland was among the Norway internationals who moved clubs over the summer. Having grown tired of sitting on the bench at Sunderland, Gasland moved across the England/Scotland border to join Rangers... where he will most likely sit on the bench. He could've had a better chance of playing regularly had he joined me at Dagenham & Redbridge, but that's his decision.

 

Captain Kristoffer Svendsen ended an 11-year stint at Atlético Madrid for a new challenge, and a first foray into the Premier League with Tottenham Hotspur. Svendsen's contract at the AIA Stadium only runs for one season, and at 34 years of age, this could well be the last major move of his career. I really, really want him to carry on for at least another year, though.

 

Another Norwegian defender who moved on was Tobias Juliussen, who joined Eintracht Frankfurt from Hannover 96 for £600,000 following the latter's relegation from the Bundesliga. Ronny Ulfsby is still at Hannover, though, and he seems content enough to continue in the 2. Bundesliga.

 

Ageing midfielder Jarle Kleppa Christensen left Wolverhampton Wanderers and joined his compatriot Ronny Brodholt at Serie A side Sampdoria.

 

Otherwise, it was a case of 'as you were' as far as my players' club careers were concerned.

 

The Norway national team next got together in the middle of August, for a home friendly against Bulgaria. This would be the last time we reconvened before the start of the UEFA Euro 2036 qualifiers, and so we had to make the most of it.

 

NAME                       POSITIONS       AGE    CLUB               CAPS   GOALS  HEIGHT WEIGHT     VALUE
Kim André Gasland          GK              31     Rangers            29     0      5'11"  12st 12lbs £120K
Anders Korneliussen        GK              30     Lillestrom         0      0      6'1"   13st 7lbs  £3K
Magnus Sundt               GK              31     Sarpsborg          2      0      6'0"   13st 5lbs  £20K
Dagfinn Haug               D (RC)          33     Haugesund          35     0      5'9"   11st 13lbs £40K
Trond Belsas               D (RLC)         28     Brann              5      0      5'11"  12st 3lbs  £65K
Ken Albert Auno            D (L)           25     Rosenborg          3      0      6'3"   14st 0lbs  £24K
Kristoffer Svendsen        D (LC)          34     Tottenham          97     1      6'0"   12st 6lbs  £650K
Tobias Juliussen           D (C)           27     Frankfurt          5      0      6'4"   14st 4lbs  £875K
Mikael Nordnes             D (C)           29     Sheff Utd          21     1      6'3"   13st 7lbs  £3.2M
Emil Solberg               D (C), ST       31     Newcastle          61     2      6'2"   13st 5lbs  £1.7M
Per Morten Styrkesnes      D/WB (L)        34     Gaziantepspor      58     2      5'7"   11st 0lbs  £45K
Snorre Alexandersen        DM, M (C)       24     Rosenborg          2      0      5'10"  11st 11lbs £275K
Freddy Fjellandsbo         DM, M (C)       26     Fredrikstad        0      0      5'11"  12st 6lbs  £250K
Ronny Ulfsby               M (RC), AM (R)  33     Hannover           70     13     6'2"   13st 3lbs  £1.2M
Ronny Brodholt             M (C)           31     Sampdoria          33     0      5'5"   10st 3lbs  £2.3M
Jarle Kleppa Christensen   M (C)           33     Sampdoria          70     2      5'11"  11st 13lbs £650K
Per Kristian Rossbach      M/AM (L)        31     Heerenveen         54     2      5'10"  11st 6lbs  £300K
Tom Inge Fiskum            M/AM (C)        23     Rosenborg          2      0      5'8"   11st 2lbs  £500K
Orjan Olsen                AM (RC)         28     Molde              1      0      6'4"   13st 12lbs £325K
Dogus Ayan                 AM (LC)         27     Trabzonspor        12     1      6'0"   12st 6lbs  £4.8M
Jan Holmedal               ST              25     Dinamo Zagreb      8      3      5'11"  12st 3lbs  £2.3M
Marius Vesterskov          ST              28     Toulouse           11     1      5'11"  12st 6lbs  £3.6M
Thomas Wikstrand           ST              30     Dusseldorf         70     37     6'0"   12st 6lbs  £5.5M

 

There were no real surprises in that squad, although I did make a couple of changes from the side that had beaten Costa Rica.

 

For starters, I left out striker Frode Krovel, who had not impressed me at all during our first two friendlies of the year. Instead, I gave the relatively inexperienced Jan Holmedal a chance to prove his worth.

 

I also handed a first call-up to Freddy Fjellandsbo - a hard-working defensive midfielder from reigning Eliteserien champions Fredrikstad. I had seriously considered bringing in Freddy for the Costa Rica friendly, and he only missed out on that game because he'd recently returned from an ankle injury.

 

You'll also notice that the experienced Snorre Welde isn't in the squad. That's because he's currently a free agent after leaving Spezia, and I won't consider recalling him until he finds another club... provided he does find another club. Like Svendsen, Welde is 34 years old now, so his long-term international future is far from certain.

[CFuller]

NORWAY vs BULGARIA (Friendly)

The home friendly against Bulgaria was likely to give us a good idea of where we were relative to other middling European nations.

 

Like us, Bulgaria hadn't graced a FIFA World Cup since 1998. A significant difference between them and us, though, was that the Lions had reached the UEFA European Championship finals on three occasions this century - in 2004, 2020, and 2032. They had never got past the Group Stage of the Euros, mind you.

 

This Bulgaria side didn't have too many big names to compare with Hristo Stoichkov and co from the 1990s. Their standout player was undoubtedly midfielder Angel Luleyski, who had been a Premier League regular for seven years with Tottenham Hotspur and latterly Liverpool.

 

The other English-based players in this particular squad were Southampton midfielder Antoni Tanev, who joined the Saints from Blackburn Rovers this summer, and Nottingham Forest anchor man Strahil Pankov. Centre-back Yordan Kalchkov was at Sunderland last season, but he had since signed for CSKA Sofia on a free transfer.

 

I should perhaps also add that there were also a whole host of Bulgarians gracing the English league system. A mass influx began when Bulgaria joined the European Union about 20 years ago, although that flood had slowed to a trickle in recent years.

 

By my reckoning, there are only three Norwegians of note playing in England as of now. All of them are defenders by trade, and they all started for us in this match. Tottenham Hotspur's Kristoffer Svendsen and Sheffield United's Mikael Nordnes made up our centre-back duo, while Newcastle United's Emil Solberg moved up front as a target man.

 

Jan Holmedal partnered Solberg in attack, having recently been recalled in place of Frode Krovel. That was only one of two personnel changes from the line-up that started against Costa Rica. The other was Per Kristian Rossbach, who took the left-wing spot and relegated Dogus Ayan to the bench.

 

16 August 2034: Norway vs Bulgaria - at Ulleval Stadion, Oslo

A first-minute attack from Norway ended with vice-captain Ronny Ulfsby's shot being blocked by Bulgaria skipper Svetlozar Naydenov. The visitors quickly hit us on the counter, and when winger Todor Hadzhiev was brought down in the area by a clumsy lunge from Mikael Nordnes, they had themselves a penalty. Antoni Tanev stepped up to fire the spot-kick beyond Kim André Gasland, and Bulgaria were already leading 1-0.

 

Two minutes later, an awful shot became even more shocking. Feyenoord's Slavi Slavov audaciously lobbed Gasland from out wide to give the Lions a second goal. The Ulleval Stadion fell very quiet very quickly.

 

Ulfsby tried to get our fans roaring going again with a brilliant dribble towards goal in the 11th minute. Ulfsby then played the ball short to Per Kristian Rossbach, who thundered a shot over. We wouldn't seriously threaten Bulgaria again in the first half... and vice versa. Bulgaria looked rather slack following their lightning-quick start, and the period petered out with them still holding a comfortable advantage.

 

I made three substitutions for the second half, with skipper Kristoffer Svendsen among those who were sacrificed. I would have to bring on a fourth sub after 54 minutes. Shortly after curling a shot narrowly wide, right-back Trond Belsas came off worse in a collision with Bulgaria's former Sheffield Wednesday winger Mariyan Belchev. Belsas' game was over.

 

Veteran Dagfinn Haug came on for Trond, but it was one of my earlier subs who would get us back into this match on 58 minutes. Thomas Wikstrand's excellent scoring record for Norway continued when he powered the ball past Lions goalkeeper Krasen Venkov from just outside the penalty area, reducing our arrears to 2-1.

 

Just moments after scoring his 38th international goal, Wikstrand was gifted a chance to grab number 39. Thomas hoovered up a sloppy backwards pass from Slavov straight from the Bulgarian kick-off and now only needed to beat Venkov again! Wikstrand did exactly that... but he struck the ball with too much power, sending it over the crossbar and into the stand!

 

Thomas' confidence took a hit following that miss, and that was evident when he pulled his next effort wide on 71 minutes. Our other forward - target man Emil Solberg - struck an excellent volley three minutes later, only for Venkov to parry it away.

 

Wikstrand then brought down Bulgaria centre-half Svilen Stankov as both men chased after the loose ball. Stankov tore his hamstring in the challenge, bringing his match to an early end. We couldn't make the most of the Celta Vigo man's misfortune, though, as we whimpered through the rest of the half without again threatening to equalise. As far as my Norway career was concerned, this was third time unlucky.

 

Norway - 1 (Wikstrand 58)

Bulgaria - 2 (Tanev pen2, Slavov 4)

Friendly, Attendance 17,758

NORWAY LINE-UP: Gasland, Belsas (Haug), Svendsen (Juliussen), Nordnes, Auno, Ulfsby (Kleppa Christensen), Brodholt, Fiskum (Olsen), Rossbach (Fjellandsbo), Solberg, Holmedal (Wikstrand).

 

You really have to start strongly when it comes to international football. At least we had found that out in a friendly, rather than in a major championship qualifier.

 

This was my first reality check as Norway manager. I'll have to heed the lessons of this defeat quickly, as the hard work begins in earnest next month.

[CFuller]

SEPTEMBER 2034

Norway's media didn't exactly react to our home defeat against Bulgaria with much delight. The team was accused of looking stale and one-dimensional, while some journalists called on me to add even more fresh faces to a team that was still quite old.

 

I wasn't that disappointed, to tell you the truth. As far as I could see, we had played very well in the second half and were very unfortunate not to complete what would've been an excellent comeback from 2-0 down. It was also good to see Thomas Wikstrand get in the goals again, as we would need him to be at his very best if we were to qualify for the 2036 UEFA European Championship.

 

Despite that loss, we actually rose up five places in the FIFA World Rankings, to 90th. Then again, those rankings do have a bit of a reputation for being rather erratic...

 

I didn't have long to stew over the Bulgaria result. A few weeks later, I was called upon to pick another Norway squad - and this time, there would be more than just national pride at stake.

 

We would open our European Championship qualifying campaign on 12 September, when Group E favourites Germany would visit the Ulleval Stadion for what was sure to be a mightily difficult battle. Four days before then, though, we would travel to Klagenfurt for one last friendly warm-up against Germany's southern neighbours Austria.

 

NAME                       POSITIONS       AGE    CLUB               CAPS   GOALS  HEIGHT WEIGHT     VALUE
Kim André Gasland          GK              31     Rangers            30     0      5'11"  12st 12lbs £110K
Anders Korneliussen        GK              30     Lillestrom         0      0      6'1"   13st 7lbs  £3K
Magnus Sundt               GK              32     Sarpsborg          2      0      6'0"   13st 5lbs  £18K
Dagfinn Haug               D (RC)          33     Haugesund          36     0      5'9"   11st 13lbs £40K
Trond Belsas               D (RLC)         28     Brann              6      0      5'11"  12st 3lbs  £65K
Ken Albert Auno            D (L)           25     Rosenborg          4      0      6'3"   14st 0lbs  £24K
Kristoffer Svendsen        D (LC)          34     Tottenham          98     1      6'0"   12st 6lbs  £675K
Tobias Juliussen           D (C)           27     Frankfurt          6      0      6'4"   14st 4lbs  £900K
Mikael Nordnes             D (C)           29     Sheff Utd          22     1      6'3"   13st 7lbs  £3.1M
Emil Solberg               D (C), ST       31     Newcastle          62     2      6'2"   13st 5lbs  £1.7M
Per Morten Styrkesnes      D/WB (L)        34     Gaziantepspor      58     2      5'7"   11st 0lbs  £45K
Snorre Alexandersen        DM, M (C)       24     Rosenborg          2      0      5'10"  11st 11lbs £250K
Freddy Fjellandsbo         DM, M (C)       26     Fredrikstad        1      0      5'11"  12st 6lbs  £230K
Ronny Ulfsby               M (RC), AM (R)  33     Hannover           71     13     6'2"   13st 3lbs  £1.2M
Ronny Brodholt             M (C)           31     Sampdoria          34     0      5'5"   10st 3lbs  £2.3M
Jarle Kleppa Christensen   M (C)           33     Sampdoria          71     2      5'11"  11st 13lbs £650K
Dogus Ayan                 M (C), AM (LC)  27     Trabzonspor        12     1      6'0"   12st 6lbs  £4.8M
Per Kristian Rossbach      M/AM (L)        31     Heerenveen         55     2      5'10"  11st 6lbs  £300K
Tom Inge Fiskum            M/AM (C)        23     Rosenborg          3      0      5'8"   11st 2lbs  £525K
Orjan Olsen                AM (RC)         28     Molde              2      0      6'4"   13st 12lbs £275K
Jan Holmedal               ST              25     Dinamo Zagreb      9      3      5'11"  12st 3lbs  £2.2M
Marius Vesterskov          ST              28     Toulouse           11     1      5'11"  12st 6lbs  £3.7M
Thomas Wikstrand           ST              30     Dusseldorf         71     38     6'0"   12st 6lbs  £5.5M

 

The eagle-eyed amongst you will notice that I had not changed my squad at all from the Bulgaria game. Then again, I didn't really feel the need to add or remove any players. In the short turnover time between international breaks, nobody on the fringes had really convinced me to pick them this time around.

 

I would end up having to call up another player, though. A couple of days after the initial squad was announced, right-back Trond Belsas sprained his wrist in Brann's home defeat to Rosenborg. With Belsas out of contention, another right-back was required.

 

Admittedly, the talent pool in Norway wasn't massively deep, and I despaired at the lack of eligible full-backs in the Eliteserien, let alone overseas. I eventually decided to call up an uncapped 22-year-old by the name of Lars Helge Tengsareid, who was merely a rotation option at 6th-placed Stabaek. Basically, it was either him or some has-been in their mid-30s.

[CFuller]

AUSTRIA vs NORWAY (Friendly)

Norway's opening match in the UEFA European Championship qualifiers was on the horizon. We would soon start our journey towards England with a home game against the mighty Germany, but we had one last friendly match to negotiate before then. My squad convened in the southern Austrian city of Klagenfurt for a meeting with one of European football's big underachievers.

 

Austria were ranked 53rd in the world, but a country that had produced the likes of ex-Manchester United left-back David Alaba and former Manchester City striker Andreas Rainer really should've been doing much better. Despite qualifying for three of the last four European Championships, the Burschen had not graced a FIFA World Cup tournament this century.

 

Before flying out to Austria, I asked my Dagenham & Redbridge defender Hamzah Jaafar - capped 36 times by the Burschen - to provide a few pointers about how to deal with his international team-mates. Unsurprisingly, Hamzah laughed off my question and declined to spill the beans. Well, it was worth a try...

 

That said, I did already know quite a bit about some of Austria's players. Burnley right-back Roman Feurstein and Brighton & Hove Albion midfielder Christian Klein were both Premier League regulars, while my Daggers had come up against the lightning-quick Valencia striker Rolf Voss in pre-season.

 

Interestingly, about half of Austria's squad was made up of foreign-born players. Jaafar, his fellow centre-half Philipp Buttner, and defensive midfielder Julien Falkenmayer were among seven players who were born in neighbouring Germany.

 

Málaga left-back Urko Olaizola grew up in the Basque Country before spending six years at First Vienna and becoming a naturalised Austrian. Three squad members started life in Brazil, while 25-year-old forward Fabian de Koning moved to Wacker Innsbruck from Holland when he was a teenager.

 

I'll admit that I am not averse to the idea of calling up naturalised players for Norway in the future. I'd generally prefer to stick with homegrown Norwegians - or players of Norwegian descent, such as Dogus Ayan. However, if a foreign-born player obtains citizenship and proves to me that he can improve the squad, I'll certainly consider him.

 

Speaking of Ayan, he was part of my starting XI for this match. He would play just behind lone striker Thomas Wikstrand in a counter-attacking 4-2-3-1 formation. Wingers Per Kristian Rossbach and Ronny Ulfsby would be expected to provide a great deal of service to Wikstrand from out wide.

 

In defence, Lars Helge Tengsareid - who was only in the squad because of an injury to Trond Belsas - made his international debut at right-back. Emil Solberg returned to centre-half alongside skipper Kristoffer Svendsen after going up front against Bulgaria.

 

8 September 2034: Austria vs Norway - at Worthersee Stadion, Klagenfurt

Norway goalkeeper Kim André Gasland was called into action after barely a minute of play. Our number 1 had to push a cracking drive from Christian Klein against his left-hand post before full-back Ken Albert Auno hacked the ball upfield. We then tried to hit Austria on the counter, only for Hamzah Jaafar to head away Per Kristian Rossbach's left-wing delivery.

 

The Burschen attacked again in the fourth minute, with captain Lukas Werle - making his 50th international appearance - firing in a free-kick that was superbly caught by Gasland. Things then went fairly quiet for pretty much the rest of the first period.

 

Ronny Ulfsby did have a couple of attempts at goal for Norway midway through, but one of them was well off target and the other was tipped behind by Austrian goalkeeper Armin Wachter. In the 31st minute, Austria's Spanish-born left-back Urko Olaizola tried his luck from just outside the Norwegian box, but Gasland read his shot well and kept the hosts quiet.

 

Rolf Voss had been quiet in the first half, but the Austrian superstar roared into action after the restart. The striker was gifted his first scoring chance in the 52nd minute by an awful diving header from Norway midfielder Ronny Brodholt. Klein intercepted the header before knocking the ball through to Valencia ace Voss, who broke free from our defence and smashed in the opening goal.

 

I was so annoyed with Brodholt that I subbed him immediately and gave Snorre Alexandersen just his third cap from the bench. Two minutes later, though, there was a real fear that we would go 2-0 down. Roman Feurstein whipped in a superb cross to Voss at the back post, but the 26-year-old flicked his header over the bar.

 

Voss would have another chance to crack open a slapdash Norwegian defence in the 59th minute. However, after picking up the ball from Klein just outside our six-yard box, Voss blasted his strike against the upright and let us off the hook!

 

We'd had a couple of opportunities to equalise in between those Voss shockers, but we wouldn't threaten the Burschen again until the 74th minute. A weak header from Austrian anchor man Julien Falkenmayer gave the ball away to Ulfsby, who cut inside from the left and weighted a pass to Alexandersen. Snorre was in a tight angle, but he still managed to power the ball into the far end of the net and notch up his first Norway goal!

 

Austria looked stunned, and when substitute midfielder Stephan Konigs powered a 79th-minute shot miles over the bar, the home fans began to fear the worst. In the end, the outcome of this match would be decided by a couple of shots from Norwegian substitutes.

 

Marius Vesterskov targeted his second Norway goal in the 84th minute, but his banana shot didn't bend anywhere near the target. When it came to injury time, though, Jan Holmedal took the role of super-sub. Dinamo Zagreb striker Holmedal - a late replacement for Thomas Wikstrand - snuck behind Feurstein to reach Dagfinn Haug's first-time cross and power a header into the net! We had snatched another unlikely win away from home!

 

Austria - 1 (Voss 52)

Norway - 2 (Alexandersen 74, Holmedal 90)

Friendly, Attendance 25,988

NORWAY LINE-UP: Gasland, Tengsareid (Haug), Svendsen (Vesterskov), Solberg, Auno, Brodholt (Alexandersen), Fiskum (Kleppa Christensen), Ulfsby, Ayan (Juliussen), Rossbach, Wikstrand (Holmedal). BOOKED: Fiskum.

 

It seemed that we were particularly effective as a counter-attacking team. Each of my first two away games as Norway boss had ended in 2-1 victories, and while this win was not quite as sensational as the one in Costa Rica, it was still a tremendous result.

 

Things hadn't gone quite so well for us at home, and although we returned to Norway high on confidence, I wasn't expecting our poor record in Oslo to change imminently. Next up for us was our opening UEFA Euro 2036 qualifier - against Germany, the 6th-best team in the world according to FIFA's rankings. Things were likely to get messy.

[CFuller]

NORWAY vs GERMANY (UEFA Euro 2036 qualifier)

The long wait was over. Nearly 11 months after being named as Norway manager, I was finally about to get my first taste of competitive international football. Mind you, it would be the ultimate 'baptism of fire', because I could not have hand-picked a more challenging first opponent than Germany.

 

Qualification for the 2036 UEFA European Championship was unlikely to be determined by our meetings with Germany, who were widely expected to take six points off us. However, if we could take at least a point off the former world champions at home, it would perhaps scare the living daylights (nice a-ha reference, Christopher) out of our other Group E opponents - Greece, Northern Ireland and Ukraine.

 

Germany were a team with a reputation for choking in big tournaments, but when it came to qualifying for those events, they could be absolutely ruthless. Since 2008, the Mannschaft had finished top of their FIFA World Cup or UEFA European Championship qualifying group on all but two occasions. They had never failed to qualify for any major tournament that they had entered.

 

Like many Mannschaft teams before them, a lot was expected from this group. That was why failure to get past Round 2 at the recent World Cup in Argentina hurt particularly hard. Marc-André Kruska was sacked as head coach following the tournament, and former Bayern Munich boss Lewis Holtby - himself capped six times by Germany during his playing career - was charged with bringing the good times back.

 

Germany's squad was full of megastars at the peak of their powers. Goalkeeper Dawid Wisniewski, right-winger Nico Albert and striker Thomas Weber were all regular starters for Barcelona, with Wisniewski arriving on a free transfer from Bayer Leverkusen this summer. Bayer had lost another key man to Spanish football recently - 23-year-old frontman Rolf Schmadtke, who moved to Real Sociedad for £22million.

 

Defending La Liga champions Real Betis had two exceptional Germans in their ranks. Erdinc Gundogdu had scored 108 league goals in his first four seasons at Betis, while attacking midfielder Andrzej Wolanski had placed 2nd or 3rd in the FIFA Ballon d'Or on five separate occasions. 31-year-old Wolanski was nicknamed 'Der Rottweiler', though that was because he was a native of the southern town of Rottweil, as opposed to him being particularly aggressive.

 

32-year-old Mannschaft captain Harald Burkhard, who played at centre-half or right-back for Manchester City, was the only Premier League player in this squad. Albert had previously played for Manchester United between 2029 and 2032, but Germany's leading lights generally preferred to play in Italy or Spain over England.

 

We were facing a tough old task, then, when the Germans descended on the Ulleval Stadion in Oslo. Four of my starting XI - right-back Lars Helge Tengsareid, and midfielders Tom Inge Fiskum, Freddy Fjellandsbo and Orjan Olsen - would be making their competitive debuts.

 

Tengsareid was by far the youngest member of a Norwegian back five (including the goalkeeper) that had well over 200 caps in total. Captain Kristoffer Svendsen would win his 100th in this match, and thus join an elite group of Norwegian international centurions that was headed by John Arne Riise (122 caps between 2000 and 2015).

 

12 September 2034: Norway vs Germany - at Ulleval Stadion, Oslo

Germany showed their class early on and very nearly took the lead after just five minutes. Thomas Weber made his way through a channel to latch onto strike partner Rolf Schmadtke's through-ball, but his half-volley was pushed away by Norway keeper Kim André Gasland.

 

Seven minutes later, a rare defensive lapse from the Germans presented us with a chance to hit them suddenly. Jan Holmedal found a huge gap between the Mannschaft centre-backs and attempted a thunderous drive that only just flew over the bar. Emil Solberg also narrowly cleared the bar with a 14th-minute header from Jarle Kleppa Christensen's corner.

 

Our bright spell ended with Tom Inge Fiskum firing a free-kick over in the 20th minute after Thomas Wikstrand had been pushed by German left-back Simon Rintelen. We would then be forced into defence for almost the entire remainder of the first half.

 

The likes of skipper Kristoffer Svendsen and holding midfielder Freddy Fjellandsbo needed to make some vital interceptions to frustrate the visitors. Germany midfielders Andrzej Wolanski and Alois Backer each sent shots wide just before the half-hour, while Weber had a header saved by Gasland in the 41st minute.

 

We pushed forward again shortly after that Weber chance, with only a fantastic low save from Dawid Wisniewski denying Holmedal a shock opener for Norway. Although the half-time score was still 0-0, I was very pleased with what I had seen from my charges thus far.

 

We continued to hold firm in the second period, with Solberg in particular proving his worth. Even after picking up a yellow card in the 55th minute for tripping right-winger Nico Albert, Emil made a whole host of interceptions and headed away countless German crosses.

 

The Mannschaft tried to turn things around shortly afterwards by bringing on Bayern Munich midfielder Danny Maas and Real Betis' goal machine Erdinc Gundogdu. Neither man would be able to stamp their authority on the game. Maas hurt a rib whilst tackling our left-back Per Morten Styrkesnes in the 64th minute and struggled thereafter. As for Gundogdu, he was twice kept off the scoresheet by impressive Gasland saves in the 77th and 78th minutes. That second save was followed by another from Albert in quick succession as Kim continued his bid for an unlikely clean sheet.

 

A disappointing evening for Gundogdu would also see him receive a yellow card three minutes from time for tripping Fiskum. The referee would bring out his yellow card twice more in the closing stages, booking Norwegian duo Snorre Alexandersen and Wikstrand for their respective fouls on Germany winger Pascal Buscher and captain Harald Burkhard. Yet we still managed to keep the Germans at bay, and we remained on course for a point as the game entered its final minute.

 

Then a mistimed jump from Solberg - probably his only mistake of the entire night - saw Backer's cross find Albert in our area. The 27-year-old Barcelona ace chested the ball and lashed it past the rushing Gasland to break Norwegian hearts. So near, yet so far...

 

Norway - 0

Germany - 1 (Albert 90)

UEFA European Championship Qualifying Group E, Attendance 25,572 - POSITIONS: Norway 5th, Germany 1st

NORWAY LINE-UP: Gasland, Tengsareid (Haug), Svendsen, Solberg, Styrkesnes, Fjellandsbo, Fiskum, Kleppa Christensen, Olsen (Alexandersen), Wikstrand, Holmedal (Veterskov). BOOKED: Solberg, Alexandersen, Wikstrand.

 

My players looked shattered at full-time, but I told them, "I'm a very proud man tonight. You pretty much matched Germany for 90 minutes - it was only in those final three minutes of injury time that they upped their game and proved too much for you.

 

"A draw against Germany would've put us in a great position, but a narrow defeat isn't the end of the world. If we can get a positive result in Greece next month, I reckon that we'll be on track."

 

Greece had played host to Northern Ireland in Group E's other opening match. Although the Greeks took the lead after 11 minutes through Schalke 04 defender Lazaros Kaltsas, they were pegged back five minutes later by Northern Ireland striker Eamonn McAllister. 1-1 was how it stayed, and so the perceived minnows of the group came away with a very creditable away draw. As far as Norway were concerned, that result brought mixed news.

 

I returned home the following morning with feelings of regret, but also of pride. If we could push Germany that close, I thought, then perhaps we stood a real chance of qualifying for the Euros after all...

[JayR2003]

Brutal...

[CFuller]

16 hours ago, JayR2003 said:

Brutal...

Indeed. We really could not have done much more to take anything from that match.

[CFuller]

OCTOBER 2034

Despite our agonising last-minute defeat to Germany, the local media were still feeling positive about Norway's chances of reaching the 2036 UEFA European Championship. We had arguably shown enough in the first five games of my reign to suggest that we could challenge for qualification, either automatically or via the play-offs.

 

This Norwegian team had looked quite solid defensively, despite most of our backline being on the wrong side of 30. Newcastle United's Emil Solberg had been a revelation at centre-half, where his regular partner - captain Kristoffer Svendsen - was still as dependable as ever.

 

If anything, our problem area was further up the pitch. We'd scored five times in five games, which wasn't dreadful on the face of it, but it was clear that we were very heavily dependent on Thomas Wikstrand getting our goals. Our other attackers perhaps weren't pulling their weight.

 

One thing was for sure - we would need to hit the back of the net more regularly in our final two games of the calendar year.

 

The first of those matches was a home friendly with the Republic of Ireland, who were a sad, pale shadow of their former selves. That would serve as preparation for our later group matches against Northern Ireland.

 

We would then travel to Greece for our opening away fixture of the European Championship qualifiers. If we could take a point or three off the Galanolefki on their own turf, that would surely go a long way towards booking our place in the finals.

 

NAME                       POSITIONS       AGE    CLUB               CAPS   GOALS  HEIGHT WEIGHT     VALUE
Kim André Gasland          GK              32     Rangers            32     0      5'11"  12st 12lbs £110K
Anders Korneliussen        GK              30     Lillestrom         0      0      6'1"   13st 7lbs  £2.5K
Sivert Lindahl             GK              31     Sarpsborg          1      0      6'1"   13st 7lbs  £5K
Dagfinn Haug               D (RC)          33     Haugesund          38     0      5'9"   11st 13lbs £35K
Trond Belsas               D (RLC)         28     Brann              6      0      5'11"  12st 3lbs  £65K
Ken Albert Auno            D (L)           25     Rosenborg          5      0      6'3"   14st 0lbs  £65K
Kristoffer Svendsen        D (LC)          34     Tottenham          100    1      6'0"   12st 6lbs  £600K
Tobias Juliussen           D (C)           27     Frankfurt          7      0      6'4"   14st 4lbs  £900K
Mikael Nordnes             D (C)           30     Sheff Utd          22     1      6'3"   13st 7lbs  £3M
Emil Solberg               D (C), ST       31     Newcastle          64     2      6'2"   13st 5lbs  £1.8M
Per Morten Styrkesnes      D/WB (L)        34     Gaziantepspor      59     2      5'7"   11st 0lbs  £30K
Snorre Alexandersen        DM, M (C)       24     Rosenborg          4      1      5'10"  11st 11lbs £180K
Freddy Fjellandsbo         DM, M (C)       27     Fredrikstad        2      0      5'11"  12st 6lbs  £180K
Ronny Ulfsby               M (RC), AM (R)  33     Hannover           72     13     6'2"   13st 3lbs  £975K
Ronny Brodholt             M (C)           31     Sampdoria          35     0      5'5"   10st 3lbs  £2.2M
Jarle Kleppa Christensen   M (C)           33     Sampdoria          73     2      5'11"  11st 13lbs £550K
Dogus Ayan                 M (C), AM (LC)  27     Trabzonspor        13     1      6'0"   12st 6lbs  £4.4M
Per Kristian Rossbach      M/AM (L)        31     Heerenveen         56     2      5'10"  11st 6lbs  £275K
Tom Inge Fiskum            M/AM (C)        23     Rosenborg          5      0      5'8"   11st 2lbs  £550K
Orjan Olsen                AM (RC)         29     Molde              3      0      6'4"   13st 12lbs £200K
Frode Krovel               AM (RL), ST     28     Dusseldorf         20     4      5'11"  12st 6lbs  £1M
Jan Holmedal               ST              25     Dinamo Zagreb      11     4      5'11"  12st 3lbs  £2.2M
Thomas Wikstrand           ST              30     Dusseldorf         73     38     6'0"   12st 6lbs  £5.25M

 

Unlike last time around, I did make alterations to my squad - and quite a few of them, I might add. To give one example, Sivert Lindahl was back in favour after re-establishing himself as Sarpsborg's first-choice goalkeeper ahead of club and international rival Magnus Sundt.

 

Marius Vesterskov was dropped from the side, having made a disappointing start to the Ligue 1 season with Toulouse. Taking his place was fellow striker Frode Krovel, who had worked his way back into Fortuna Dusseldorf's starting line-up with a handful of goals.

 

With right-back Trond Belsas making a return from injury, Lars Helge Tengsareid's solid debut performances in September weren't quite enough to keep the young Stabaek defender in the squad.

 

The squad convened in Oslo for training on 9 October, but in the build-up to our match against the Republic of Ireland four days later, we were beset by injury problems.

 

First to pick up an injury was Emil Solberg, who bruised his shin during our opening training session on Monday. The experienced defender/striker would miss the Ireland game, but his aim now was to regain his fitness for the trip to Greece.

 

On Tuesday, Orjan Olsen sustained a dead leg in a collision with a team-mate. It was touch and go as to whether the Molde midfielder would recover in time to face the Irish.

 

Our biggest blow yet came on Thursday - the day before Ireland's visit to the Ulleval Stadion. Snorre Alexandersen stubbed his toe in training, and though I reckoned he would still be able to at least play against Greece, the medical staff felt otherwise. Snorre was sent back to Rosenborg to recover, and a replacement defensive midfielder would need to be called up.

 

Alexandersen's misfortune led to an opportunity for Anders Engebraten, who had made his debut in my first game for Norway back in February. The 23-year-old anchor man hadn't really been part of my plans since then, as his club Viking were battling at the wrong end of the Eliteserien table. Who knows, though - maybe Anders could be here to stay.

[CFuller]

NORWAY vs REPUBLIC OF IRELAND (Friendly)

We warmed up for our next UEFA European Championship qualifier by hosting the Republic of Ireland in a friendly international at the Ulleval Stadion. Not that long ago, Norway vs Ireland would have been billed as a pick 'em, but while our national team had simply stagnated in recent times, our opponents had fallen off a cliff.

 

The Republic of Ireland's dramatic fall from grace over the past decade had really saddened me. Since qualifying for UEFA Euro 2020, the Boys in Green had been completely absent from major tournaments and were now used to finishing at the bottom of qualifying groups, rather than anywhere near the top.

 

Ireland's recent decline, which had seen them fall as low as 152nd in the FIFA World Rankings, was largely down to a lack of depth in the squad. Aside from a couple of PL full-backs in Terry Curry (Rochdale) and Robbie James (West Ham United), they had to draw most of their players from the English lower leagues or the Scottish system. I was very surprised, then, that my own Dagenham & Redbridge left-back Daniel O'Reilly hadn't been selected for this game.

 

It arguably hadn't helped that Ireland had also had a high turnover of coaches since sacking Stephen Kenny nine years ago. Glenn Whelan, Ross Gaynor, Darron Gibson and Paul Corry had all tried and failed to halt the decline. They had, though, become much more stable under former Middlesbrough boss Shane Duffy, who was appointed in the summer of 2031 and was still at the helm now.

 

There was another glimmer of hope for the Boys in Green. Last month, they recorded a famous 2-1 home win over Colombia, who were ranked 7th in the world after reaching the FIFA World Cup Quarter Finals. Had they perhaps turned a corner at long last?

 

I had no intention of taking the Irish lightly, so I picked what was perhaps my best available starting line-up - with one exception. Regular goalkeeper Kim André Gasland was dropped to the bench, with Sivert Lindahl given a chance between the sticks for only his second Norway cap.

 

Trond Belsas returned at right-back following a wrist injury, while Ken Albert Auno got the nod at left-back ahead of Per Morten Styrkesnes. Two players - Kristoffer Svendsen and Tom Inge Fiskum - maintained their records of starting every Norway game since I became manager.

 

13 October 2034: Norway vs Republic of Ireland - at Ulleval Stadion, Oslo

After five minutes, Per Kristian Rossbach sent an excellent cross towards Ronny Ulfsby in the Republic of Ireland's penalty area. Ronny's header bounced safely into Leeds United goalkeeper Pat Sheridan's hands, but we would find the net a minute later. Alas, Holmedal was offside when he slid Tom Inge Fiskum's lob across the goal line.

 

In the 19th minute, a promising free-kick from Rossbach found the head of our other striker. Although Thomas Wikstrand couldn't quite flick the ball past Sheridan, we would go on to take the lead through another free-kick shortly afterwards. This time, Rossbach's delivery was nodded on by Ulfsby into the path of Norway captain Kristoffer Svendsen. A tidy finish into the bottom gave Kris just his second international goal - in his 101st appearance!

 

Ireland had their first chance to retaliate a couple of minutes later, but unattached midfielder Joe Maher powered it well over the bar. Their only other shot of the first period would come after 41 minutes, when skipper Val O'Regan's header from a Robbie James free-kick was sent past the far post. We would go into the interval with a 1-0 lead, but left-back Ken Albert Auno would not return for the second period, having pulled his hamstring after about half an hour.

 

Our set-pieces continued to cause the Boys in Green plenty of hassle in the second period. After 57 minutes, Ulfsby floated a fantastic free-kick over to Jarle Kleppa Christensen. Disappointingly, Jarle's header was tipped behind by Ireland goalkeeper Ryan - that's debutant Craig Ryan, not former Dagenham & Redbridge star Daryl. The fact that coach Shane Duffy was giving a maiden cap to a free agent who'd recently been released by Rochdale after only a handful of league appearances said an awful lot about the lack of depth in this Irish team.

 

We were unfortunate not to score from the resulting corner, as Mikael Nordnes got above O'Regan and headed Rossbach's delivery just over the bar. Sheffield United defender Nordnes wouldn't waste his next chance to score from a set-piece when it came in the 61st minute. Mikael got just enough of his left foot to a Rossbach free-kick to divert it beyond Ryan and double our lead! Both of our centre-backs had scored, with Nordnes' goal only his second at international level!

 

At the other end, Sivert Lindahl was perhaps wondering if Ireland would ever force him into action. Lindahl was finally tested in the 65th minute, and he showed no signs of rustiness when he tipped Séan Davis' away in the nick of time. Sivert would make two more saves in the later stages - from a low strike by Maher in the 71st minute, and then from a long-range punt by Stoke City youngster Richie Darcy in the 84th.

 

Shortly after Maher missed one last Irish chance in the 87th minute, we aimed to finish the match with a third goal. That didn't quite materialise, sadly, as Ryan got his fingertips to a vicious effort from Holmedal and kept our lead at 2-0. Nevertheless, that scoreline still pleased most of the spectators, who witnessed a first home win for Norway in over 18 months.

 

Norway - 2 (Svendsen 20, Nordnes 61)

Republic of Ireland - 0

Friendly, Attendance 19,823

NORWAY LINE-UP: Lindahl, Belsas, Svendsen (Juliussen), Nordnes, Auno (Styrkesnes), Ulfsby, Brodholt (Fjellandsbo), Fiskum (Kleppa Christensen), Rossbach (Ayan), Holmedal, Wikstrand (Krovel). BOOKED: Svendsen.

 

A home win, and a clean sheet to boot! No surprise, then, that we were high in spirts ahead of our journey to Greece. That match would perhaps go some way to determining whether we would be heading to England for UEFA Euro 2036 or staying at home once again.

 

However, we would have to travel to the Mediterranean without left-back Ken Albert Auno, who had pulled his hamstring during the first half of that Ireland game. The 25-year-old's injury resulted in a recall for one of Norway's old guard.

 

Anders Heramb Ramberg had won 43 caps for Norway since 2024, but the Molde left-back hadn't yet played under me, as I preferred to look at other options. Despite being overlooked in recent months, Ramberg jumped at the chance to represent his country again.

[CFuller]

GREECE vs NORWAY (UEFA Euro 2036 qualifier)

While we were taking on the Republic of Ireland in a friendly, our Group E rivals were battling it out in the next phase of UEFA European Championship qualifiers.

 

Ukraine began their campaign by winning 1-0 in Belfast against Northern Ireland. Monaco's Andriy Korol scored the only goal of that match after just eight minutes. Meanwhile, Germany consolidated their status as group favourites by grinding out a 2-1 win over Greece and moving onto six points from a possible six.

 

Those results left us as the only team in Group E without a point as we arrived in Greece for our second qualifying match. We would be playing in the southern port city of Piraeus, about seven miles southwest from the centre of Athens. More specifically, the venue was the home ground of reigning Greek Super League champions Olympiacos.

 

Greece's squad didn't contain a great number of home-based players, as most of their stars were gracing Europe's biggest leagues. Centre-backs Christos Skoufalis and Lazaros Kaltsas, for instance, played in La Liga and the Bundesliga for their respective sides Real Sociedad and Schalke 04.

 

There were a couple of representatives from Ligue 1 outfit Lille in the Galanolefki. 27-year-old Paraskevas Chasomeris was a fine left-back, but we would have to pay particular attention to striker Orestis Lykoudis. The 25-year-old had scored 11 goals in his first 16 caps and was very strong, both aerially and on the ground.

 

Interestingly, Greece's goalkeeper was new Rangers signing Thomas Vasileiadis - the main reason why our own Kim André Gasland wasn't getting much playing time at Ibrox. This match would be a great opportunity for Gasland to show his Gers boss Darren Ferguson just what he could do.

 

I adopted a counter-attacking 4-2-3-1 for this game. Playmaker Jarle Kleppa Christensen was expected to provide plenty of direct passes to wingers Ronny Ulfsby and Dogus Ayan, who in turn would need to assist lone striker Thomas Wikstrand when going forward.

 

I had to think long and hard over who to pick at full-back before plumping for Dagfinn Haug and Per Morten Styrkesnes. Neither veteran was particularly quick out of the blocks, but I reckoned that they had the know-how to shut out Greece's widemen. Had I reckoned correctly?

 

17 October 2034: Greece vs Norway - at Georgios Karaiskakis, Piraeus

Orestis Lykoudis went into this match full of beans, and he had two efforts saved by Kim André Gasland within the first couple of minutes. Kim also caught a 5th-minute strike from former Blackburn Rovers wideman Vangelis Vyzas, who was now playing from Panthrakikos in the Greek Super League.

 

Later on, Norway playmaker Tom Inge Fiskum ran off an early knock to fire a vicious shot wide in the 12th minute. Four minutes after that came the first real sign that I had perhaps underestimated our hosts. Greece's left-winger Leonidas Choulis collected a pass from captain Kostas Giannopoulos and got past our right-back Dagfinn Haug before swinging in a cross from the byline. Lykoudis received the delivery, and Gasland could do little about the Lille striker's header. 1-0 to the Galanolefki.

 

One Rangers goalkeeper had been beaten in this first half, but another was determined not to suffer the same fate. Greek custodian Thomas Vasileiadis made light work of a 30-yard punt by Ronny Brodholt after 25 minutes. A couple of minutes later, Vasileiadis also got a hand to a swinging effort from Brodholt and diverted it behind.

 

Our next scoring chance would come on the stroke of half-time, when Thomas Wikstrand's header from Dogus Ayan's left-wing cross looped over and clipped the crossbar. With Greece 1-0 up, and Wikstrand looking far from his best, you could say that we were in a spot of bother.

 

We would have more issues out wide in the 53rd minute. The ageing Per Morten Styrkesnes couldn't put enough pressure on Greece right-winger Vyzas before he floated in a cross that Lykoudis beat Mikael Nordnes to and nodded home.

 

The Greeks were sailing to victory, and a third goal looked on the cards in the 62nd minute. Lykoudis' square ball to Vyzas was met with a vicious strike that Gasland did well to push aside. Another Vyzas chance went begging in the 65th minute, but the Galanolefki wouldn't let us off the hook for long.

 

Luck was not on Nordnes' side when a delivery from Nikos Apergis into the Norway area clipped his heel and deflected to Lykoudis. The outcome was inevitable - three goals to Orestis Lykoudis, and 3-0 to Greece. This game certainly hadn't gone to plan.

 

Lykoudis was looking red-hot for the men in blue, and he almost left our defenders red-faced again in the 68th minute. However, his uncharacteristically awful miss from a Choulis set-up in the 68th minute gave us a flicker of hope. Another would emerge after 73 minutes. Brodholt's outswinging corner was half-volleyed in by Nordnes, and we had pulled it back to 3-1.

 

Alas, that would prove to be a false dawn. The points slipped away from us for good when Vyzas prodded in full-back Antonis Samios' centre to put the Greeks 4-1 ahead with 11 minutes to play.

 

Greece's scoring would end there, though we still had enough time to get a final word in on 88 minutes. Nordnes scored from another Brodholt corner, meaning that the 30-year-old Sheffield United centre-half had quadrupled his international goals tally in the space of five days!

 

Nordnes' double wasn't much of a consolation as far as I was concerned. Although Mikael had worked his socks off throughout this match, his defensive colleagues had let me down really badly. I was left to pick up the pieces after our second qualifying defeat in a row.

 

Greece - 4 (Lykoudis 16,53,66, Vyzas 79)

Norway - 2 (Nordnes 73,88)

UEFA European Championship Qualifying Group E, Attendance 32,130 - POSITIONS: Greece 2nd, Norway 5th

NORWAY LINE-UP: Gasland, Haug, Svendsen, Nordnes, Styrkesnes (Ramberg), Kleppa Christensen, Brodholt, Ulfsby (Fjellandsbo), Fiskum (Solberg), Ayan, Wikstrand.

 

I really thought that we could beat Greece away from home, but Lykoudis just ripped our defence to shreds. This was a harsh lesson, and heads would have to roll.

 

Frankly, neither of our starting full-backs - Per Morten Styrkesnes and Dagfinn Haug - ever looked comfortable against the Greek wingers. At the respective ages of 34 and 33, I seriously doubted whether they still had what it took to play at international level. Those two, along with attacking midfielder Dogus Ayan, would have to dramatically up their performances in the coming months to keep their spots.

 

The other game in Group E saw an unsurprising 4-1 victory for Germany in Ukraine. Borussia Dortmund's Dominic Feldkamp scored twice for the Mannschaft, and he would've had a hat-trick but for a penalty mess early in the second half.

 

Three rounds into the qualifying phase for Euro 2036, we found ourselves bottom of Group E without a point. We were already playing catch-up on the rest.

 

                                   P     W     D     L     F     A     GD    PTS
1.          Germany                3     3     0     0     7     2     +5    9
2.          Greece                 3     1     1     1     6     5     +1    4
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
3.          Ukraine                2     1     0     1     2     4     -2    3
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
4.          Northern Ireland       2     0     1     1     1     2     -1    1
5.          Norway                 2     0     0     2     2     5     -3    0

 

Norway won't be in action during the next international break in November. That means I can fully concentrate on club matters until March, when Norway will return for a couple of away games. The second of them, in Northern Ireland, has suddenly become a 'must-win' encounter.

[displaced_seagull]

This is excellent

[CFuller]

On 6/17/2017 at 14:30, displaced_seagull said:

This is excellent

Thank you. 

Wish I could say the same about my team's early performances in the Euro qualifiers. 

[CFuller]

MARCH 2035

This is my second full year as Norway manager - and unless we pick things up in qualifying for UEFA Euro 2036, it could well prove to be my last. Defeats to Germany and Greece at the back end of 2034 had left us chasing all the other teams in Group E.

 

Our first two fixtures of 2035 were a warm-up match in Albania on 24 March, followed by an absolutely vital qualifier in Northern Ireland six days later. Defeat in Belfast would surely deal a fateful blow to any realistic chance we had of qualifying for next year's finals in my native England.

 

A New Year meant a new Scandinavian football season - and transfers for some of our players.

 

Two of our Norway-based defensive midfielders moved to new Eliteserien clubs. Anders Engerbraten made a £140,000 move from Viking, who finished 10th last year, to Valerenga, who came 5th. After being released by his hometown club Rosenborg, Snorre Alexandersen made a fresh start at... erm, Start.

 

Goalkeeper Kim André Gasland was also on the move once again. He didn't play much for Sunderland, he wasn't playing much for Rangers... and he still wasn't playing at his new club Nice, who'd taken him on loan from Ibrox simply to warm their bench. As Norway manager, I found it incredibly frustrating that my first-choice goalie was getting hardly any competitive action outside of international football.

 

Since we last had the pleasure of one another's company, Norway's FIFA World Ranking had been up and down like an elevator. We were 97th as things stood, but that had the potential to drastically change again, depending on how we fared against Albania and Northern Ireland.

 

Anyway, I won't faff around for much longer. Here was my 23-man squad for our forthcoming fixtures:

 

NAME                       POSITIONS       AGE    CLUB               CAPS   GOALS  HEIGHT WEIGHT     VALUE
Kim André Gasland          GK              32     Nice               33     0      5'11"  12st 12lbs £825K
Anders Korneliussen        GK              30     Lillestrom         0      0      6'1"   13st 7lbs  £1.5K
Magnus Sundt               GK              32     Sarpsborg          2      0      6'0"   13st 5lbs  £16K
Dagfinn Haug               D (RC)          33     Haugesund          39     0      5'9"   11st 13lbs £14K
Trond Belsas               D (RLC)         29     Brann              7      0      5'11"  12st 3lbs  £45K
Tobias Juliussen           D (C)           27     Frankfurt          8      0      6'4"   14st 4lbs  £875K
Mikael Nordnes             D (C)           30     Sheff Utd          24     4      6'3"   13st 7lbs  £2.7M
Kristoffer Svendsen        D (C)           35     Tottenham          102    2      6'0"   12st 6lbs  £210K
Emil Solberg               D (C), ST       32     Newcastle          65     2      6'2"   13st 5lbs  £1.5M
Nikolas Kristensen         D/WB (L)        20     Helsingborg        0      0      5'11"  11st 9lbs  £65K
Anders Heramb Ramberg      D/WB/AM (L)     33     Molde              44     1      6'0"   12st 8lbs  £55K
Anders Engebraten          DM, M (C)       24     Valerenga          1      0      5'9"   11st 11lbs £90K
Freddy Fjellandsbo         DM, M (C)       27     Fredrikstad        4      0      5'11"  12st 6lbs  £700K
Ronny Ulfsby               M (RC), AM (R)  34     Hannover           74     13     6'2"   13st 3lbs  £525K
Ronny Brodholt             M (C)           32     Sampdoria          37     0      5'5"   10st 3lbs  £1.6M
Jarle Kleppa Christensen   M (C)           33     Sampdoria          75     2      5'11"  11st 13lbs £170K
Per Kristian Rossbach      M/AM (L)        31     Heerenveen         57     2      5'10"  11st 6lbs  £95K
Tom Inge Fiskum            M/AM (C)        23     Rosenborg          7      0      5'8"   11st 2lbs  £650K
Orjan Olsen                AM (RC)         29     Molde              3      0      6'4"   13st 12lbs £600K
Frode Krovel               AM (RL), ST     28     Dusseldorf         21     4      5'11"  12st 6lbs  £1.2M
Dogus Ayan                 AM (LC)         27     Trabzonspor        15     1      6'0"   12st 6lbs  £1.8M
Jan Holmedal               ST              26     Dinamo             12     4      5'11"  12st 3lbs  £2.3M
Thomas Wikstrand           ST              31     Dusseldorf         75     38     6'0"   12st 6lbs  £4.1M

 

Well, some Norway fans will have undoubtedly been delighted that I finally dropped 67-year-old Per Morten Styrkesnes - and possibly for good. Styrkesnes had been found badly wanting in our last match in Piraeus, where Greece winger Vangelis Vyzas pretty much had him on toast for breakfast. I'm not sure if I can trust the old geezer anymore.

 

Taking Styrkesnes' place in the Norway squad was the much younger Nikolas Kristensen, who had already established himself as a regular starter across the border at Allsvenskan side Helsingborg. He's still very raw technically, but I believe that Kristensen can become first-choice at left-back before too long.

 

I pondered dropping Dagfinn Haug as well, but the right-back had a great season personally at Haugesund last year and perhaps deserved to stay in the squad on balance. There were also calls among the Norwegian press for me to drop another veteran defender in Kristoffer Svendsen. He'd only missed three Premier League games for Tottenham Hotspur this term, though, and I'd have been nuts to drop my best centre-back, even if he was on the decline.

 

Besides Kristensen, the only other change to my squad from last time out was that Magnus Sundt replaced his Sarpsborg rival Sivert Lindahl among the goalkeepers.

 

I found it very difficult to choose between Alexandersen, Engebraten and Freddy Fjellandsbo as to which two of those defensive midfielders would be in my squad. Alexandersen was the unlucky one to miss out, even though his Start side had begun the Eliteserien campaign with back-to-back victories.

[CFuller]

ALBANIA vs NORWAY (Friendly)

Our trip to Belfast at the end of March 2035 would surely be 'make-or-break' with regards to our hopes of qualification for the 2036 UEFA European Championship. A week before then, though, we travelled to the Albanian capital of Tirana to compete in a rather less pressurised environment. This friendly would give us time to sharpen up our skills before we entertained Northern Ireland.

 

Previously little more than lightweights in international football, Albania had established themselves as a rather strong team over the last two decades. Kuq e Zinjte (The Red and Blacks) qualified for the 2018 FIFA World Cup and only missed out on the 2034 finals after losing to Turkey in a play-off. They also went close to qualifying for the last two European Championships, so their FIFA World Ranking of 36th was perhaps unsurprising.

 

The undisputed star of this Albania side was versatile midfielder Arjan Krasniqi, who spent six-and-a-half years at Norwich City before moving to Nottingham Forest last summer. Other notable faces in the squad included Galatasaray winger Spiro Jakupi, Olympiacos midfielder Klevis Keci, and striker Fatmir Malaj, who played for Czech champions Mladá Boleslav.

 

Albania would definitely provide a stern test for us, but I felt that we had enough quality in our squad to beat them. The eleven players that I selected to start in Tirana were a mixture of key men and backup options.

 

Kim André Gasland and Kristoffer Svendsen were among those who kept their starting places, but record scorer Thomas Wikstrand was dropped to the bench, as was midfielder Tom Inge Fiskum. This would be the first match of my Norway reign in which Fiskum was not on the pitch at kick-off.

 

20-year-old left-back Nikolas Kristensen made his first senior international appearance from the outset, while Trond Belsas replaced Dagfinn Haug on the right side of our defence. Midfielder Anders Engebraten was given his second cap, over a year after his first, and Emil Solberg was named as the lone centre-forward.

 

24 March 2035: Albania vs Norway - at Qemal Stafa, Tirana

Albania wasted a great chance to pull ahead after just five minutes. Captain Arjan Krasniqi won an aerial challenge with our goalkeeper Kim André Gasland and got his head to a free-kick delivery from Ledian Keci, but he couldn't keep it on target.

 

Albania goalie Ervis Kodra made his first save in the 9th minute, stopping a tame drive from Anders Engebraten. The 31-year-old custodian from Rapid Wien would thwart Engebraten again six minutes later with another solid catch. Gasland then saved us in the 22nd minute, securing a headed effort from Fatmir Malaj, who went down in agony afterwards. The 25-year-old - whose first international goal actually came against Norway about two years ago - had to come off briefly for some treatment.

 

Malaj had just returned to the pitch when we had our next attempt on goal - a 26th-minute half-volley from Dogus Ayan that Kodra spilled before the Albanian defenders frantically cleared the danger. Mikael Nordnes and Emil Solberg later missed the target for us before Gasland pushed away a 39th-minute strike by Krasniqi.

 

It looked like this half would finish goalless... and then, in the first minute of injury time, Solberg went down in Albania's area under a tackle from Kuq e Zinjte defender Aldo Hasani. The referee pointed to the spot, from which Frode Krovel slotted an excellent penalty past Kodra and put our noses in front!

 

I brought on Thomas Wikstrand for Ayan at the interval in a bid to turn the tide inexorably in our favour. However, Albania's own half-time substitute would make a much quicker impact. Less than a minute into the second half, Gzim Agolli - a striker with third-tier German side FSV Frankfurt - thrashed home a pass from Krasniqi, and the Eagles took flight.

 

Albania could've gone 2-1 up on 49 minutes had Gasland not reacted quickly enough to divert Malaj's latest effort away from his goal. Kim would make a more comfortable save two minutes later from Spiro Jakupi. Another two minutes later, Wikstrand skimmed Albania's crossbar with a threatening header. Per Kristian Rossbach and Solberg also narrowly missed out on restoring our advantage before young midfielder Arlind Kraja blasted a couple of Albanian shots wide.

 

After 65 minutes, Kraja set up a great opportunity for Brazilian-born midfield colleague Clodoaldo, whose fierce strike was pushed behind by Gasland. Clodoaldo's subsequent corner was a poor one, but Kuq e Zinjte launched another attack moments later. Kraja slotted a first-time ball into our penalty area, and Malaj outpaced our skipper Kristoffer Svendsen to reach the pass and slip it beyond Gasland. 2-1 to Albania.

 

At that point, I brought on the two Ronnies - midfielder Ronny Brodholt and winger Ronny Ulfsby - along with defender Tobias Juliussen to try and turn the game around. One great chance to do that came from a counter-attacking move five minutes before the end.

 

Jan Holmedal knocked an excellent ball to Thomas Wikstand, who had plenty of space down the right and tried to whip a cross into Albania's six-yard box. Unfortunately, Ilir Kola cleared the danger for the hosts, and when Tom Inge Fiskum fired a long-ranger off target in the 88th minute, it became apparent that we had run out of steam. Despite holding a 1-0 lead at half-time, there would no positive result for us here.

 

Albania - 2 (Agolli 46, Malaj 66)

Norway - 1 (Krovel pen45)

Friendly, Attendance 12,148

NORWAY LINE-UP: Gasland, Belsas, Svendsen, Nordnes (Juliussen), Kristensen, Kleppa Christensen, Engebraten (Fiskum), Krovel (Brodholt), Ayan (Wikstrand), Rossbach (Ulfsby), Solberg (Holmedal).

 

Make no mistake, that was a real missed opportunity. We should have taken away at least a draw, but our defence lost focus in the second half.

 

It appeared that we had major problems at the back, and I would have six days to sort them out before we returned to competitive action. This next game would, without any doubt, be the most important of my short reign.

[CFuller]

NORTHERN IRELAND vs NORWAY (UEFA Euro 2036 qualifier)

I wanted us to have much time in Northern Ireland as possible to prepare for our next UEFA European Championship qualifier. We flew out from Tirana to Belfast on the Sunday morning after our friendly defeat to Albania, so that we would have close to a full week on the Emerald Isle.

 

Our first full day of training in Belfast ended in disaster for centre-back Tobias Juliussen, who bruised his thigh and was ruled out of the match. Juliussen flew home to Germany to recuperate, while I sent for a replacement.

 

The replacement in question was uncapped 29-year-old Reidar Harila, who plied his trade in Sweden with Hammarby. Harila had not really been on my international radar before, but my assistants thought that the centre-back's aerial ability and physical strength would make him a useful backup option.

 

Thankfully, that was the full extent of our injury problems, so I had a virtually full-strength team to choose from at the weekend. I opted to field a counter-attacking 4-4-2 headed by Emil Solberg and Jan Holmedal, whom I favoured over Thomas Wikstrand.

 

Nikolas Kristensen had impressed me against Albania, so I gave the rookie left-back another start. Tom Inge Fiskum and Freddy Fjellandsbo - two other players from the newer generation - started in midfield, while the more experienced Per Kristian Rossbach and Ronny Ulfsby would push high up the pitch on the wings.

 

Northern Ireland may have been ranked a lowly 115th in the world, but Philip Lowry and his Green & White Army were looking to make the very most of home advantage at their grand old Windsor Park ground.

 

Gary Mulholland - a 19-year-old reserve winger at Huddersfield Town - was Northern Ireland's only player in the English top flight. Their two best midfielders, namely Adam McLaughlin and Kenneth Ralph, played in the Championship for Doncaster Rovers and Blackburn Rovers respectively. Striker Eamonn McAllister was one of the most prolific scorers in Scotland, where he featured for Dunfermline Athletic.

 

Considering that we had players from sides such as Tottenham Hotspur, Sampdoria and Fortuna Dusseldorf, we really should've been strongly fancied to win this match. Despite that, most bookmakers actually rated the Northern Irish as slight favourites.

 

30 March 2035: Northern Ireland vs Norway - at Windsor Park, Belfast

Our strategy from the outset was to utilise our attackers' blistering pace and run at Northern Ireland's sluggish defence. In the first minute, Jan Holmedal burst goalwards before cutting the ball back to strike partner Emil Solberg, whose shot was awkwardly deflected away by NI goalkeeper Bryan Quinn.

 

The Green & White then showed some attacking intent with a few early shots, although none of them were particularly good. Midfielder Adam McLaughlin went closest with a 5th-minute free-kick, but playmaker Gerard Devlin and forward Stefan Grimley each sent efforts well off target in subsequent minutes. Northern Ireland's first shot on target didn't come until Devlin - who played for Chesterfield in League One - attempted a curler that flew safely into Kim André Gasland's grasp in the 18th minute.

 

We began to make our greater pace count two minutes later, as Ronny Ulfsby got past NI left-back Eddie Brown and curled in a fine cross that Solberg met with a promising diving header. Quinn made a vital catch just in time, and the effect of that save on Emil's self-confidence was evident when he scuffed his next shot wide two minutes later.

 

Our other striker Holmedal was also struggling to make his mark, although he was involved in us finally taking the lead after 31 minutes. Jan had just latched onto Tom Inge Fiskum's through-ball when he was dispossessed by Irish defender Marty Magee, whose tackle diverted the ball into the path of Per Kristian Rossbach. PKR had a clear goal to aim at, and he duly poked the ball into the net to make it 1-0 Norway!

 

If anyone thought Northern Ireland would capitulate after Rossbach's goal, they would be proven wrong five minutes later. Brown's cross into the Norway box caught centre-back Mikael Nordnes unawares, and Eamonn McAllister headed in the equaliser for the Green & White Army.

 

McAllister outwitted our other centre-half two minutes later, beating Kristoffer Svendsen to Quinn's goal kick and flicking it ahead of Devlin. The attacking midfielder raced through and planted a cool shot into the far corner and put Northern Ireland in front... but our agony didn't end there.

 

Gasland's save from a McAllister header in the 43rd minute led to the first of two Northern Ireland corners in quick succession. The second was delivered by Devlin to Ryan Webb, whose volley hit the post and deflected into the target off a very unfortunate Rossbach! An inexplicable 10-minute collapse had seen us go from 1-0 up to 3-1 down!

 

I vented my anger at the Norwegian players during the interval before opting to make two of my three available substitutions. Thomas Wikstrand came on in place of Holmedal, while an out-of-sorts Svendsen made way for Reidar Harila.

 

The newest Norway international was outwitted barely five minutes into his debut. Harila tried to close down Irish midfielder Neil McGreevy, who evaded him and attempted a powerful drive that Gasland had to divert away. Reidar's naivety on the international scene was exposed again in the 58th minute, when he pushed too far from his position, leaving Brown free to cut inside from the left and unleash a shot that fortunately went wide.

 

Shortly after that miss from Brown, Northern Ireland were guilty of a costly defensive error. Right-back Neil Reid's interception of a pass by Norway left-back Nikolas Kristensen knocked the ball back towards his goal, and Wikstrand got to it ahead of centre-half Ciarán Montgomery. Thomas had plenty of time to compose himself before cutting our arrears to 3-2.

 

A comeback looked on the cards, but a poor miss from Fiskum in the 64th minute halted our momentum. Tom's midfield team-mate Freddy Fjellandsbo was booked eight minutes later for tripping McGreevy, who could've sealed victory for the Green & White Army in the 84th minute. The Ross County man's set-piece was caught by Gasland, who quickly rolled the ball forward for Harila to hoof upfield. Solberg nodded the long ball on to Wikstrand, who burst through on goal... and thundered a drive horrendously over the target! We'd blown our biggest and last chance to save a point.

 

We were fortunate not to concede a fourth Northern Ireland goal through Barry Braniff in the 87th minute, but that narrow escape couldn't disguise the fact that we had been truly and utterly awful. A third straight defeat had already left our hopes of qualifying for UEFA Euro 2036 hanging by the narrowest of threads.

 

Northern Ireland - 3 (McAllister 36, Devlin 38, Rossbach og44)

Norway - 2 (Rossbach 31, Wikstrand 58)

UEFA European Championship Qualifying Group E, Attendance 15,602 - POSITIONS: Northern Ireland 4th, Norway 5th

NORWAY LINE-UP: Gasland, Belsas, Svendsen (Harila), Nordnes, Kristensen, Fjellandsbo (Brodholt), Fiskum, Ulfsby, Rossbach, Solberg, Holmedal (Wikstrand). BOOKED: Fjellandsbo.

 

"Seriously, guys? What the hell is wrong with you? Some of you have experience of playing in the biggest leagues in the world, but you've just been outclassed by a journeyman from Chesterfield - BLOODY CHESTERFIELD!

 

"You are much, much better than this when you play for your clubs, but you can't seem to replicate that form for your country! I'm not Norwegian, but it seems that I have more pride in representing Norway than you do! You've got to show a lot more passion in the future, otherwise what is the f***ing point?"

 

This was the first time I had really lost my rag with this Norway team, but the rant was justified. We had lost to the lowest-seeded team in the entire group. We were now rooted to the bottom, and Ukraine's 3-2 defeat of Greece left us four points adrift of the 3rd-placed Greeks.

 

                                   P     W     D     L     F     A     GD    PTS
1.          Germany                3     3     0     0     7     2     +5    9
2.          Ukraine                3     2     0     1     5     6     -1    6
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
3.          Greece                 4     1     1     2     8     8     0     4
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
4.          Northern Ireland       3     1     1     1     4     4     0     4
5.          Norway                 3     0     0     3     4     8     -4    0

 

As if our situation wasn't dire enough, our next two qualifiers in June were against the top two - Ukraine at home, and Germany away. At this rate, we will be lucky to finish in 4th place, let alone 3rd!

 

Now I'm beginning to realise exactly why Norway have not qualified for a major tournament on merit since Kristoffer Svendsen was a schoolboy.

[CFuller]

JUNE 2035

About two months had passed, and I still could not believe that my Norway team had lost to Northern Ireland - theoretically the weakest team in our UEFA Euro 2036 qualifying group. How could a squad with the likes of Kristoffer Svendsen and Thomas Wikstrand have succumbed to a side who drew their players from such world-renowned teams as Dunfermline Athletic and Chesterfield?

 

Losing to the 115th-best team in the world caused all sorts of damage to our FIFA World Ranking. We had fallen 12 places to 109th, which wasn't quite our lowest ever ebb, though we were now trailing Syria, Botswana and Comoros, to name but three teams.

 

More significantly, that defeat in Belfast had left us rock-bottom and pointless after our first three matches in Group E. Unless we could pull ourselves together and win either of our next two fixtures, even the most optimistic Norwegian football fans would be admitting defeat in our battle to qualify for the European Championship.

 

The first of those matches - at home to Ukraine on 8 June - had become one we really could not afford to lose. Against a team with as much quality as the Zhovto-Blakytni, though, that would be easier said than done.

 

Our next game would be an even tougher ask. If we could somehow topple group leaders Germany in Gelsenkirchen on 12 June, it would surely rank as one of the greatest results in Norway's footballing history.

 

Indeed, I had plans to put my dignity on the line and run around Oslo city centre stark naked if we won... but then I remembered how cold Norway's capital city could be, even in summer. Also, I realised that such a stunt wouldn't do Anglo-Norwegian relations much good. I'm sure the last thing the hard-working folk of Oslo want to see is a 50-year-old Essex man with the physique of a darts player and the good looks of Chris Moyles running unclothed across Frogner Park.

 

If you'd just eaten before reading that previous paragraph, I can only apologise. Let me erase that thought from your head. Did you know that, in 2008, the Norwegian Army knighted a king penguin at Edinburgh Zoo, with the blessing of King Harald V?

 

Okay, Christopher, no more messing about. Here were the 23 players I selected to be gluttons for punishment, erm I mean try and save our hopes of qualification:

 

NAME                       POSITIONS       AGE    CLUB               CAPS   GOALS  HEIGHT WEIGHT     VALUE
Kim André Gasland          GK              32     Nice               35     0      5'11"  12st 12lbs £1.1M
Hakon Gjertsen             GK              22     Rosenborg          0      0      6'2"   14st 2lbs  £12K
Sivert Lindahl             GK              32     Sarpsborg          2      0      6'1"   13st 7lbs  £18K
Dagfinn Haug               D (RC)          34     Haugesund          39     0      5'9"   11st 13lbs £7K
Trond Belsas               D (RLC)         29     Brann              9      0      5'11"  12st 3lbs  £55K
Tobias Juliussen           D (C)           28     Frankfurt          9      0      6'4"   14st 4lbs  £800K
Mikael Nordnes             D (C)           30     Sheff Utd          26     4      6'3"   13st 7lbs  £2.5M
Kristoffer Svendsen        D (C)           35     Tottenham          104    2      6'0"   12st 8lbs  £50K
Emil Solberg               D (C), ST       32     Newcastle          67     2      6'2"   13st 5lbs  £1.3M
Nikolas Kristensen         D/WB (L)        20     Helsingborg        2      0      5'11"  11st 9lbs  £130K
Per Morten Styrkesnes      D/WB (L)        35     Gaziantepspor      61     2      5'7"   11st 0lbs  £3K
Snorre Alexandersen        DM, M (C)       25     Start              4      1      5'10"  11st 11lbs £300K
Anders Engebraten          DM, M (C)       24     Valerenga          2      0      5'9"   11st 11lbs £100K
Ronny Ulfsby               M (RC), AM (R)  34     Hannover           76     13     6'2"   13st 3lbs  £425K
Ronny Brodholt             M (C)           32     Sampdoria          39     0      5'5"   10st 3lbs  £1.2M
Jarle Kleppa Christensen   M (C)           33     Sampdoria          76     2      5'11"  12st 1lb   £45K
Per Kristian Rossbach      M/AM (L)        31     Heerenveen         59     3      5'10"  11st 6lbs  £28K
Tom Inge Fiskum            M/AM (C)        23     Rosenborg          9      0      5'8"   11st 2lbs  £700K
Orjan Olsen                AM (RC)         29     Molde              3      0      6'4"   13st 12lbs £575K
Dogus Ayan                 AM (LC)         27     Trabzonspor        16     1      6'0"   12st 6lbs  £600K
Jan Holmedal               AM (L), ST      26     Dinamo             14     4      5'11"  12st 3lbs  £2.8M
Sondre Hjelmeland          AM (L), ST      24     Fredrikstad        0      0      5'11"  12st 1lb   £300K
Thomas Wikstrand           ST              31     Düsseldorf         77     39     6'0"   12st 6lbs  £4M

 

Unfortunately, a couple of injuries meant that I had to shuffle my pack. For instance, left-back Anders Heramb Ramberg fractured his ribs whilst playing for Molde in a Eliteserien match at Mjondalen a few weeks earlier. Ramberg was unable to be selected, which meant a surprise recall for everyone's favourite geriatic Turkish-based Norwegian - Per Morten Styrkesnes.

 

Start midfielder Snorre Alexandersen also returned to the side, thanks to some horrible misfortune befalling Freddy Fjellandsbo. On the same day that Ramberg got injured, Fjellandsbo damaged his spine during league champions Fredrikstad's away match at Lillestrom.

 

Freddy's Fredrikstad team-mate Sondre Hjelmeland earned his senior first call-up at the age of 24, having scored six goals in 10 league matches this season. The striker was selected at the expense of Fortuna Dusseldorf's Frode Krovel.

 

Another international rookie who broke into my squad was young Rosenborg goalkeeper Hakon Gjertsen. 22-year-old Gjertsen had kept goal for RBK since first-choice keeper Aurimas Svedkauskas broke his leg at the start of 2035. Hakon had done well, to be fair, keeping nine clean sheets in all competitions this year.

[CFuller]

NORWAY vs UKRAINE (UEFA Euro 2036 qualifier)

First, Germany broke our hearts in injury time. Then, Greece broke our defence with four goals in Piraeus. After that, Northern Ireland broke our spirit with a shock win.

 

Now it was up to Ukraine to complete the Group E set, and condemn Norway to four straight defeats at the start of the UEFA Euro 2036 qualifiers. Suffering yet another loss - especially one on home soil - would raise serious questions about whether this Norwegian team was good enough to stake a claim for a play-off place, let alone automatic qualification. It would also leave me wondering if I was still the right man to take on this challenge.

 

Since recording the most unlikely of FIFA World Cup victories in 2014, Ukraine had gone back to being merely a 'good' team, rather than a side capable of challenging the biggest global powers. They lost all three of their group games at the 2034 World Cup, including one against Germany, who went on to thrash the Zhovto-Blakytni 4-1 in their first home qualifier for UEFA Euro 2036.

 

The majority of Ukraine's international players were drawn from the Premyer Liha - indeed, EIGHT of them played for runners-up Metalist Kharkiv. Among them were striker Mykola Basanets, anchor man Oleg Danchenko, and centre-half Sergey Kalashnikov.

 

There were also a few key men in the Ukrainian squad who plied their trade overseas. 23-year-old defender Alexandr Berezin was a bit-part player in the Porto squad that had just won the UEFA Champions League. Left-winger Andriy Korol was at Monaco, who'd finished 4th in Ligue 1. Midfielder Igor Shtan'ko was on the books of West Bromwich Albion, although he'd actually spent this season on loan at Besiktas in Turkey.

 

As for my team, I made a couple of bold changes from the side that had lost so humbly in Northern Ireland. Captain Kristoffer Svendsen was among those who was dropped from the side, with vice-skipper Ronny Ulfsby taking the armband instead. Ronny would play on the right wing, and Jan Holmedal would start on the left.

 

Meanwhile, attacking midfielder Tom Inge Fiskum was left out of the squad altogether. Dogus Ayan would instead play in the hole behind lone striker Thomas Wikstrand, who was one goal away from becoming the first Norwegian to score 40 in men's international football. The experienced Sampdoria duo of Ronny Brodholt and Jarle Kleppa Christensen made up the rest of our midfield.

 

8 June 2035: Norway vs Ukraine - at Ulleval Stadion, Oslo

Neither goalkeeper would be seriously troubled by the first shots they faced. Ukraine's Vitaliy Kulkov made light work of a header from Norway captain Ronny Ulfsby in the 5th minute, while our custodian Kim André Gasland easily caught one from Artur Doronin two minutes later.

 

After 10 minutes, Norway striker Thomas Wikstrand met Ulfsby's right-wing cross with a horrible connection that sent it well wide. Three minutes later, playmaker Dogus Ayan was given a swift yellow card after bringing down Ukrainian holding midfielder Oleg Danchenko.

 

I would be given an even greater reason for concern in the 18th minute. Ukraine's left-winger Bogdan Yatsenko knocked the ball forward to midfielder Igor Shtan'ko, who burst clear of Norwegian defender Emil Solberg and cut the ball across our goalmouth. On the other end was Doronin, who slotted the Zhovto-Blakytni into a 1-0 lead.

 

However, we would draw back level just a minute and a half later. Wikstrand's lob into the Ukrainian box was flicked on by Ulfsby to Ayan, who flicked it down before firing past Kulkov! With just his second goal for his country, Dogus had got us well and truly back in the running!

 

Those pulsating first 20 minutes did not set the tone for the next 25, which were rather mundane to put it lightly. Ulfsby and fellow stalwart Jarle Kleppa Christensen each missed chances to put us in the lead, and Gasland caught a header from Doronin in the 45th minute, but that was about it.

 

Both sides would rue awful misses early in the second period. Winger Maxym Rozdobudko, who played for Guimaraes in Portugal's Primeira Liga, was guilty of firing a poor effort well wide for Ukraine on 49 minutes. Three minutes later, our half-time substitute Anders Engebraten floated an excellent cross into the Ukrainian box. Sadly, Jan Holmedal's header from said delivery was rather less impressive.

 

I then made my second substitution, as Orjan Olsen replaced Ayan, who'd just picked up a knock. That was followed by two more agonising misses from Holmedal in the 55th minute. Jan nodded Thomas' byline cross against the bar, but he quickly got to the rebound... and curled it straight into Kulkov's grasp. Holmedal would go on to waste a couple more chances before I lost patience with him and brought on Per Kristian Rossbach at left-wing.

 

In the 70th minute, not long after Jan's final miss, we needed Kim to tip behind a swerving effort from Ukrainian substitute Volodymyr Pinchuk. The Metalist Kharkiv winger would again go close to putting the Zhovto-Blakytni back ahead on 83 minutes. Five minutes before then, Olsen had hit the post with what proved to be our last chance to take away all three points. This would be another frustrating evening in Oslo, though we had at least avoided defeat this time.

 

Norway - 1 (Ayan 19)

Ukraine - 1 (Doronin 18)

UEFA European Championship Qualifying Group E, Attendance 25,572 - POSITIONS: Norway 5th, Ukraine 2nd

NORWAY LINE-UP: Gasland, Haug, Solberg, Nordnes, Kristensen, Brodholt (Engebraten), Kleppa Christensen, Ulfsby, Ayan (Olsen), Holmedal (Rossbach), Wikstrand. BOOKED: Ayan.

 

Although it came as a relief that we'd finally picked up our first point of the qualifying campaign, we really needed to win that match. We had shown a serious lack of cutting edge when it came to converting chances, even with Thomas Wikstrand leading the frontline.

 

The gap between us and 3rd place remained at four points at the halfway stage. We now had to prepare ourselves for an almighty challenge in Gelsenkirchen against a Germany side who had just destroyed Northern Ireland 6-1 in Frankfurt. Talk about jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire.

[CFuller]

GERMANY vs NORWAY (UEFA Euro 2036 qualifier)

The VELTINS-Arena in Gelsenkirchen was the home ground of Bundesliga big boys Schalke 04, and it was also the venue for Norway's latest UEFA European Championship qualifier. Sitting rock-bottom of Group E, we stood little chance of beating Germany, but we'd damn well do our best to take some kind of result back to Oslo.

 

Germany were once again breezing through the qualifiers for a major tournament, and it seemed already that only an unthinkable collapse them would keep them out of the Euro 2036 finals in England. Indeed, the Mannschaft had won eight of their last nine matches since Lewis Holtby was appointed head coach after the last FIFA World Cup - the odd result out was a 2-1 friendly loss to Spain in November.

 

Germany had made mincemeat of Northern Ireland in their most recent group match, prevailing 6-1. Real Betis playmaker Andrzej Wolanski scored three goals and Manchester City's Martin Klonz notched up two in a match that saw Barcelona winger Nico Albert make no fewer than four assists!

 

We already knew plenty about the likes of Albert, Wolanski and co, but there were a couple of other names in the German side that were perhaps worth pointing out. Centre-back Leszek Michniewicz, still aged only 23, had just won all three major English trophies in his first season at Manchester United. Bayern Munich midfielder Danny Maas almost secured a big treble too, but after lifting the Bundesliga and DFB-Pokal, he couldn't quite help Bayern get past Porto in the UEFA Champions League Final.

 

Our players didn't have quite as much experience of winning trophies as Germany's did. Jan Holmedal was part of the Dinamo Zagreb team that had won the Croatian Prva Liga - but then again, Dinamo always win the Prva Liga.

 

Despite putting in a disappointing display against Ukraine, I kept faith in Holmedal and started him up front alongside Thomas Wikstrand against the Germans. Captain Kristoffer Svendsen returned to my starting line-up, as did the midfield trio of Anders Engebraten, Snorre Alexandersen and Tom Inge Fiskum.

 

12 June 2035: Germany vs Norway - at VELTINS-Arena, Gelsenkirchen

As expected, Germany wasted little time in declaring their intentions and going on the attack. After six minutes, Thomas Weber beat our captain Kristoffer Svendsen to an Alois Backer cross from the right. Kim André Gasland spilled the Barcelona striker's header, but Norway right-back Dagfinn Haug slid the ball behind for a corner before Germany could take full advantage. Nico Albert's subsequent corner was nodded on by Leszek Michniewicz to Martin Klonz at the far post, but the Mannschaft skipper could only volley the ball across our goal rather than into the net.

 

Klonz was normally a very cool finisher, particularly at Manchester City, but he headed wide from another Albert corner in the 18th minute. Another sign that Klonz was perhaps feeling fatigued after a long and hard season with the Citizens came after 26 minutes. The 33-year-old had plenty of time and space after Frank Kunz slid the ball ahead of him, but he cut his shot against the post before Gasland secured the rebound.

 

Two minutes later, the Mannschaft adopted a rather unsporting approach to try and pull ahead. Weber impeded on Kim to stop him seeing a shot from Borussia Dortmund left-back Nicolas Kruse before it flew over his head and into the net. The officials were having none of that, and the goal was rightly disallowed.

 

That said, it wouldn't be long before Germany did go 1-0 up, thanks to a couple of horrendous howlers from Norway in the 33rd minute. Jan Holmedal's back-pass to Gasland was hoovered up by Weber, who skipped past our onrushing keeper Gasland and tucked the ball into a gaping net. That was Weber's 90th international goal in 123 caps - and it was probably the easiest of the lot.

 

I was so annoyed with Holmedal after that error that I immediately brought on debutant Sondre Hjelmeland to replace him. The 24-year-old from Fredrikstad would go on to register our first shot on target in the 38th minute - a long-range drive that was pushed behind by Dawid Wisniewski. Germany then ended the half strongly, with Albert's cross rattling our bar just before half-time.

 

I made my two remaining substitutions during the break, bringing on a couple of wingers to try and catch our hosts out on the flanks. My gameplan would soon start to fall apart, as another miscued Norwegian pass proved costly in the first minute after the restart. Left-back Nikolas Kristensen's attempted pass to Jarle Kleppa Christensen was intercepted by Kunz, who started a move that ended with Weber blasting Backer's cross home. Germany were 2-0 up.

 

However, when Juventus full-back Backer fractured his ribs in a clash with Per Kristian Rossbach, the Mannschaft suddenly looked rather vulnerable. As Germany struggled to recompose themselves following the loss of a key defender, Thomas Wikstrand pounced on them by stabbing in his 40th goal for Norway after 53 minutes.

 

We had a chance to potentially draw level five minutes later... until the excellent Real Betis midfielder Kunz headed Rossbach's free-kick out of the German box. The hosts launched a counter-attack that should've resulted in Weber completing his hat-trick, but his strike fizzed inches wide. Dominic Feldkamp and Klonz would also go close to making it 3-1 in the following couple of minutes.

 

Even more German attacks would follow, but Gasland showed plenty of composure to dispel strikes from Klonz in the 67th minute and Weber in the 72nd. The Mannschaft's frontline tired quickly towards full-time, but we didn't really have enough energy ourselves to hit back at them and claim an unlikely draw.

 

More sloppy mistakes from the Norway defence saw Germany have a few more chances late on, the last of which was a tame injury-time strike from Klonz that didn't cause Gasland much bother. Although it seemed at times that this contest was very lopsided, the final score of 2-1 to Germany was anything but.

 

Germany - 2 (Weber 33,46)

Norway - 1 (Wikstrand 53)

UEFA European Championship Qualifying Group E, Attendance 54,142 - POSITIONS: Germany 1st, Norway 5th

NORWAY LINE-UP: Gasland, Haug, Svendsen, Nordnes, Kristensen, Engebraten (Ulfsby), Kleppa Christensen, Alexandersen, Fiskum (Rossbach), Wikstrand, Holmedal (Hjelmeland). BOOKED: Kleppa Christensen.

 

I had mixed feelings about that result. In one respect, I felt a sense of pride that we had managed to restrict Germany to another single-goal victory, despite facing 24 shots at goal and only having 32% of possession.

 

Conversely, I felt that we were actually very lucky to only lose 2-1. Some of our passing, particularly from the back, had been absolutely diabolical, and we basically gifted the Mannschaft most of their chances. On another day, they could well have replicated the 6-1 scoreline they had thrashed Northern Ireland by four days earlier.

 

Northern Ireland hosted Greece in the other Group E game of this round. NI twice led 1-0 and 2-1, but it was the Greeks who eventually prevailed 4-2 to take a firm grip on 3rd place. That leaves the group table looking like this as we head into the summer break:

 

                                   P     W     D     L     F     A     GD    PTS
1.          Germany                5     5     0     0     15    4     +11   15
2.          Ukraine                4     2     1     1     6     7     -1    7
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
3.          Greece                 5     2     1     2     12    10    +2    7
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
4.          Northern Ireland       5     1     1     3     7     14    -7    4
5.          Norway                 5     0     1     4     6     11    -5    1

 

I reckon we're in the last chance saloon now. We've got three games to make up a six-point deficit, so there can be no room for error now.

 

Our next qualifier is away to Ukraine in September, and that'll be followed by home ties against Greece and Northern Ireland in October. Qualification is still a possibility, as long as we win at least two of those three games. Any more slip-ups, and we're effectively battling to avoid the wooden spoon.

[CFuller]

AUGUST 2035

I had spent the summer of 2035 seriously contemplating my future as Norway manager. We were bottom of our UEFA European Championship qualifying group, the squad was painfully low on depth in certain areas, and there wasn't much indication if things getting better any time soon.

 

I wondered if managing Norway was a worthless exercise, and an unnecessary distraction from my full-time job at Dagenham & Redbridge. Dagenham had just finished 12th in their first Premier League season, having been promoted via the Championship play-offs in 2034. If the Daggers were to progress much further, then I would surely have to focus all my efforts on them, which of course meant giving up the Norway job.

 

The NFF's President, Ole Einar Halvorsen, had been made aware of my wavering commitment to the Norway role. He phoned me just before the Daggers' pre-season started, and convinced me to stick it out with the national team - at least until the end of the European qualifiers.

 

During that call, we verbally agreed that I wouldn't be offered a new contract if Norway finished bottom of their qualifying group. Were Norway to avoid the wooden spoon, Mr Halvorsen would consider handing me an extension until the end of the 2038 FIFA World Cup. It would then be up to me to decide if I stayed on or not.

 

A couple of our battle-hardened midfielders decided not to stay at Sampdoria beyond this summer, as they agreed to move elsewhere on free transfers. Jarle Kleppa Christensen moved across northern Italy to Samp's Serie A rivals Parma, while Ronny Brodholt opted for a late-career switch to the Premier League with West Bromwich Albion.

 

Dogus Ayan has also been on the move, with the attacking midfielder joining AC Milan on a Bosman free transfer from Trabzonspor. Now aged 28, Dogus should theoretically be at his peak, and if he can make a good start to life with his new club, he could become an important player for his country as well.

 

Meanwhile, Kim André Gasland - the goalkeeper who only ever seems to get a game when he's on international duty - is back at Rangers after doing hardly anything whilst on loan at Nice. He's also been made available for transfer. I can only hope that Kim's next job isn't yet another bench-warming one.

 

Norway's next international match would see a slight change of pace. Having seen us lose four of our last five games, I hoped that we could turn our fortunes around in a home meeting with Algeria. Although the North Africans were ranked 36th in the world, I didn't feel that their squad was vastly superior to ours.

 

Speaking of our squad, here was my selection for this match:

 

NAME                       POSITIONS       AGE    CLUB               CAPS   GOALS  HEIGHT WEIGHT     VALUE
Jan Erik Forsmark          GK              19     Fredrikstad        0      0      6'10"  16st 9lbs  £14K
Kim André Gasland          GK              32     Rangers            37     0      5'11"  12st 12lbs £325K
Hakon Gjertsen             GK              22     Rosenborg          0      0      6'2"   14st 2lbs  £14K
Dagfinn Haug               D (RC)          34     Haugesund          41     0      5'9"   11st 13lbs £3K
Trond Belsas               D (RLC)         29     Brann              9      0      5'11"  12st 3lbs  £60K
Isak Bakkane               D (L)           23     Fredrikstad        0      0      5'10"  11st 13lbs £40K
Tobias Juliussen           D (C)           28     Frankfurt          9      0      6'4"   14st 4lbs  £800K
Mikael Nordnes             D (C)           30     Sheff Utd          28     4      6'3"   13st 7lbs  £2.8M
Kristoffer Svendsen        D (C)           35     Tottenham          105    2      6'0"   12st 8lbs  £475K
Emil Solberg               D (C), ST       32     Newcastle          68     2      6'2"   13st 5lbs  £1.2M
Anders Heramb Ramberg      D/WB/AM (L)     33     Molde              44     1      6'0"   12st 8lbs  £22K
Snorre Alexandersen        DM, M (C)       25     Start              5      1      5'10"  11st 11lbs £300K
Anders Engebraten          DM, M (C)       24     Valerenga          4      0      5'9"   11st 11lbs £90K
Ronny Ulfsby               M (RC), AM (R)  34     Hannover           78     13     6'2"   13st 3lbs  £375K
Ronny Brodholt             M (C)           32     West Brom          40     0      5'5"   10st 3lbs  £1M
Jarle Kleppa Christensen   M (C)           34     Parma              78     2      5'11"  12st 1lb   £150K
Jens Rikard Normann        M/AM (R)        31     Bastia             15     1      5'3"   8st 13lbs  £3.9M
Per Kristian Rossbach      M/AM (L)        32     Heerenveen         61     3      5'10"  11st 6lbs  £230K
Tom Inge Fiskum            M/AM (C)        24     Rosenborg          10     0      5'8"   11st 2lbs  £725K
Frode Krovel               AM (RL), ST     29     Dusseldorf         22     5      5'11"  12st 6lbs  £1.5M
Dogus Ayan                 AM (LC)         28     Milan              17     2      6'0"   12st 6lbs  £1.8M
Sondre Hjelmeland          AM (L), ST      24     Fredrikstad        1      0      5'11"  12st 1lb   £300K
Thomas Wikstrand           ST              31     Dusseldorf         79     40     6'0"   12st 6lbs  £3.9M

 

You'll notice quite a few changes to the squad - particularly in defence.

 

There was a forced overhaul at left-back, as 21-year-old Nikolas Kristensen was out with a knee injury, and the rather more experienced Per Morten Styrkesnes was now without a club after departing Gaziantepspor. I replaced them with another young-and-old duo, as Molde's Anders Heramb Ramberg was recalled, and Fredrikstad's Isak Bakkane received his first cap.

 

Isak was joined in the Norway squad by his Aristokratene colleague - and fellow international virgin - Jan Erik Forsmark. The 19-year-old goalkeeper had only made four appearances for the Eliteserien holders, but an injury to Sivert Lindahl meant that this Under-19s international got a surprise promotion to the senior team.

 

I was pleased to put right-back Trond Belsas in the team again after he missed our last couple of matches with a sprained ankle. Also receiving a recall was Frode Krovel, who benefitted from me losing patience with the misfiring Jan Holmedal.

 

I have also finally brought back Jens Rikard Normann, 18 months after he last appeared in my squad. The Bastia winger has never played for Norway under me, mainly because he's been out of form at club level, but also because he's not someone who can easily slot into my system. Nevertheless, I have faced constant calls to reinstate Normann, and now I'm going to give him a chance to prove his worth to me.

[CFuller]

NORWAY vs ALGERIA (Friendly)

It had been coming up to a year since Norway last won an international football match, defeating the Republic of Ireland in a friendly at the Ulleval Stadion. We were now back at our home ground, where we hoped to stop the rot in time for September's must-win UEFA Euro 2036 qualifiers.

 

Our opponents were Algeria, who were traditionally amongst Africa's strongest teams. Surprisingly, though, it had been about 25 years since they last qualified for a FIFA World Cup, or even reached the Semi Finals of the Africa Cup of Nations. They'd crashed out of the Group Stage at this year's ACN, so how they were ranked 38th in the world by FIFA was beyond me.

 

That said, they did have a few noteworthy players in their ranks. Strikers Samir Hammouche and Fadel Taleb were both regulars in Ligue 1, and they were among several French-born players in the Algerian squad. Another was the 25-year-old centre-back Nassim Chergui, who'd recently joined Fulham from Feyenoord.

 

Two of Algeria's key men were, though, born and bred in the North African country. 32-year-old frontman Rafik Rebika - capped 110 times before this match - had previously scored for Sunderland and Huddersfield Town in the Premier League. Right-winger Samir Lounici was part of the FC Utrecht side that had recently regained the Eredivisie title.

 

As far as our team was concerned, there were six changes to the starting line-up that had narrowly lost to Germany in Gelsenkirchen two months previous. Centre-backs Mikael Nordnes and Kristoffer Svendsen kept their places, but it was all change at full-back, where Anders Heramb Ramberg and Trond Belsas came into the team. 23-year-old Fredrikstad left-back Isak Bakkane would make his international debut if he came off the bench.

 

I'd switched back to a standard 4-4-2 formation, which meant our wingers got another opportunity to impress. Left-flanker Per Kristian Rossbach was reinstated to the starting XI, while the right-sided Jens Rikard Normann won his first Norway cap of the Fuller era. Main striker Thomas Wikstrand was joined up front by target man Emil Solberg.

 

15 August 2035: Norway vs Algeria - at Ulleval Stadion, Oslo

Norway goalkeeper Kim André Gasland was nearly caught out after just four minutes. Samir Louinci's long-range effort was Algeria deflected off our centre-back Mikael Nordnes and fell towards Rafik Rebika, whose vicious shot was turned behind by Gasland.

 

Eintracht Frankfurt forward Rebika then missed the target in the 10th minute, as did his strike partner Samir Hammouche in the 12th. The Fennec Foxes grew more confident as time wore on, with right-winger Lounici forcing Gasland into another save on 19 minutes.

 

Although some of the Algerian attacks were bordering on lunacy, that was certainly not the case when Lounici played an excellent weighted lob to Hammouche in the 26th minute. The Rennes striker found a way past Norwegian captain Kristoffer Svendsen, and he then beat Gasland to open the scoring.

 

We were slow to react to falling behind, but as half-time loomed, we showed rather more urgency. With less than two minutes to go in normal time, Emil Solberg chipped the ball to Thomas Wikstrand in space. Wikstrand charged at Algeria centre-half Amar Keraghel, turned sharply, and then unleashed a blistering shot from just inside the penalty area! In his 80th appearance for Norway, Thomas had levelled the scores with his 41st goal!

 

Svendsen had arguably been culpable for us falling behind in the first place. The 35-year-old defender nodded off again after 53 minutes, allowing Hammouche's chip to fly above him and find Rebika. Rebika attempted to nod the ball home from the edge of our penalty box... but his effort clipped the outside of Gasland's left-hand post and deflected wide!

 

We could've been 2-1 down there... but by the 57th minute, we were on the right end of that scoreline! Jens Rikard Normann's corner caused some consternation amongst the Algerian defence before Mikael Nordnes drove the ball in at the near post!

 

Algeria attempted to level on 60 minutes through Hammouche, whose shot stung Gasland's palms. Four minutes after that, though, we managed to pull ourselves further clear. Wikstrand stung the Fennec Foxes with a fantastic first-time strike after running onto substitute Sondre Hjelmeland's long ball up the left flank.

 

That made it three goals for Norway, and now the confident Wikstrand wanted a hat-trick for himself! Thomas had an opportunity to seal his treble in the 75th minute. However, despite having already beaten Algeria goalie Abdelghani Dahleb twice, he couldn't get the better of Dahleb's replacement Slimane Benmessaoud.

 

Shortly after that, Fennecs midfielder Abdelbasset Benaldjia attempted a 30-yarder to try and get his country back in the game. Gasland was equal to it, and he also waved away a couple of wide shots from Bordeaux striker Fadel Taleb in the closing stages. We remained 3-1 up at the final whistle, and our long wait for a victory was over!

 

Norway - 3 (Wikstrand 44,64, Nordnes 57)

Algeria - 1 (Hammouche 26)

Friendly, Attendance 21,573

NORWAY LINE-UP: Gasland, Belsas, Svendsen (Juliussen), Nordnes, Ramberg (Bakkane), Normann, Fiskum, Brodholt (Engebraten), Rossbach (Hjelmeland), Solberg (Ayan), Wikstrand (Krovel). BOOKED: Brodholt.

 

I know the old saying goes "one swallow does not a summer make", but I think we've turned a corner here. There is genuine talent in this Norway team - we just needed to find a system that harnessed the full potential of that talent.

 

With Thomas Wikstrand back in the goals, and a first win in ten months under our belts, we can head into our next few fixtures high on confidence.

 

September will see us take on Poland in a friendly, before we cross the border to Ukraine for a vital Euro 2036 qualifier. We have to beat the Zhovto-Blakytni to keep our hopes of qualifying alive, but the realistic aim now is simply to avoid finishing bottom. If we don't, it could be curtains for me.

[CFuller]

SEPTEMBER 2035

Despite our impressive victory over Algeria in August, our FIFA World Ranking barely improved in August. We only moved up a couple of places, from 102nd to 100th, but it was progress all the same.

 

We can expect our ranking to shoot right up in October, when the shock 3-0 defeat Norway suffered to San Marino two years ago no longer becomes relevant in terms of FIFA's calculations. Before then, though, we had to focus on moving back up our UEFA Euro 2036 qualifying group... before it became too late.

 

If we could record an away win over Ukraine in September, we would still be in with a shout of sneaking through to next summer's finals in England via the play-offs. Anything else, and Norway's footballers would once again be witnessing a major tournament on television instead of in person.

 

Though Ukraine weren't exactly miles ahead of Norway in international football terms, they were undoubtedly significantly stronger. We would need as much time as possible to prepare for the fast-paced attacking football that the Zhovto-Blakytni would combat us with in Kiev on 11 September.

 

With that in mind, I'd arranged for us to play a friendly fixture in neighbouring Poland four days before that crunch match. While the Bialo-czerwoni weren't on the same level as Ukraine, they liked to play football in a very similar manner to their Eastern European rivals. A strong performance in Poznan would perhaps serve us well before we took on the bigger challenge that lay ahead.

 

NAME                       POSITIONS       AGE    CLUB               CAPS   GOALS  HEIGHT WEIGHT     VALUE
Kim André Gasland          GK              32     Reading            38     0      5'11"  12st 12lbs £650K
Hakon Gjertsen             GK              22     Rosenborg          0      0      6'2"   14st 2lbs  £12K
Magnus Sundt               GK              33     Sarpsborg          2      0      6'0"   13st 5lbs  £7K
Dagfinn Haug               D (RC)          34     Haugesund          41     0      5'9"   11st 13lbs £2K
Trond Belsas               D (RLC)         29     Brann              10     0      5'11"  12st 3lbs  £55K
Isak Bakkane               D (L)           23     Fredrikstad        1      0      5'10"  11st 13lbs £35K
Tobias Juliussen           D (C)           28     Gimnastic          10     0      6'4"   14st 4lbs  £500K
Mikael Nordnes             D (C)           30     Sheff Utd          29     5      6'3"   13st 7lbs  £2.8M
Kristoffer Svendsen        D (C)           35     Tottenham          106    2      6'0"   12st 8lbs  £450K
Emil Solberg               D (C), ST       32     Newcastle          69     2      6'2"   13st 5lbs  £1.2M
Nikolas Kristensen         D/WB (L)        21     Helsingborg        4      0      5'11"  11st 9lbs  £170K
Snorre Alexandersen        DM, M (C)       25     Start              5      1      5'10"  11st 11lbs £300K
Anders Engebraten          DM, M (C)       24     Valerenga          5      0      5'9"   11st 11lbs £90K
Ronny Ulfsby               M (RC), AM (R)  34     Hannover           78     13     6'2"   13st 3lbs  £375K
Ronny Brodholt             M (C)           32     West Brom          41     0      5'5"   10st 3lbs  £1M
Jarle Kleppa Christensen   M (C)           34     Parma              78     2      5'11"  12st 1lb   £140K
Jens Rikard Normann        M/AM (R)        31     Bastia             16     1      5'3"   8st 13lbs  £3.8M
Per Kristian Rossbach      M/AM (L)        32     Heerenveen         62     3      5'10"  11st 6lbs  £200K
Tom Inge Fiskum            M/AM (C)        24     Rosenborg          11     0      5'8"   11st 2lbs  £775K
Frode Krovel               AM (RL), ST     29     Dusseldorf         23     5      5'11"  12st 6lbs  £1.4M
Dogus Ayan                 AM (LC)         28     Milan              18     2      6'0"   12st 6lbs  £1.7M
Sondre Hjelmeland          AM (L), ST      25     Fredrikstad        2      0      5'11"  12st 1lb   £275K
Thomas Wikstrand           ST              31     Dusseldorf         80     42     6'0"   12st 6lbs  £3.8M

 

As you can see, my squad was virtually unchanged from a month earlier. There were only a couple of alterations to the side that beat Algeria, namely at left-back and in goal.

 

Magnus Sundt was back in the fold and would be our third-choice goalkeeper, behind new Reading signing Kim André Gasland and young Rosenborg custodian Hakon Gjertsen. Our other emerging goalkeeping starlet - Jan Erik Forsmark - dropped back into the Under-21s, though I'm sure he'll be ready for another senior call-up in the near-future.

 

The other change was more significant. Left-back Nikolas Kristensen had now recovered from the knee injury that ruled him out of the Algeria friendly, and so he was recalled at the expense of Anders Heramb Ramberg.

 

If you're wondering about what's happened to our old friend Per Morten Styrkesnes, the 'Victor Meldrew' of Norwegian football returned home last month after signing a short-term deal with Eliteserien champions Fredrikstad. Styrkesnes has played in a couple of league matches for them so far, but he's basically a deputy to first-choice left-back Isak Bakkane these days. I think it's fair to say that the 35-year-old's international career is now over.

[CFuller]

POLAND vs NORWAY (Friendly)

Situated by the river Warta, Poznan is one of the oldest and largest cities in Poland. It was also the setting for Norway's last friendly international before we began our UEFA Euro 2036 qualifying run-in. We warmed up for our do-or-die meeting with Ukraine by taking on their local rivals.

 

Although only ranked 66th in the world, Poland did have a squad that possessed plenty of quality - particularly in midfield. The energetic Janusz Blaszczyk was a key player for Wolverhampton Wanderers, while attacking midfielder Kamil Lewandowski was on Paris Saint-Germain's books. We would also have to keep an eye on Marcin Sliwinski, who played in La Liga for our centre-back Tobias Juliussen's new club Gimnastic Tarragona.

 

Other notable names in the Polish ranks included VfB Stuttgart goalkeeper Mateusz Kaminski, who spent three years at Everton, and Hibernian centre-half Tomasz Kolodziejczak.

 

I made a few changes to the Norwegian starting XI that I had fielded in our victory over Algeria last month. The fit-again Nikolas Kristensen regained his starting spot at left-back, while I shook up the midfield by replacing Ronny Brodholt and Tom Inge Fiskum with Ronny Ulfsby and Anders Engebraten. Big Emil Solberg continued to accompany Thomas Wikstrand up front.

 

7 September 2035: Poland vs Norway - at Bulgarska, Poznan

We showed plenty of attacking intent early on. The experienced duo of Thomas Wikstrand and Ronny Ulfsby each had shots pushed away by Poland goalkeeper Leszek Ziolkowski in the first seven minutes.

 

The Bialo-czerwoni launched their first assault on our goal after 16 minutes. 20-year-old Lechia Gdansk striker Damian Matuk - a relative newcomer to international football - received an excellent pass from Janusz Blaszczyk but drove it wide. On 26 minutes, Matuk breached our defence to run onto a long ball upfield from Ziolkowski. His header looped over Kim André Gasland and found the net... but we were saved by the offside flag.

 

That came as a massive relief, as our defenders had nodded off briefly and left us open. Sadly, they still hadn't learned their lesson by the 36th minute, when Matuk got in from behind them to flick Kamil Lewandowski's free-kick home. The referee's assistant kept his flag down, and we were a goal behind.

 

We could've drawn level just before half-time, but Per Kristian Rossbach's free-kick was cleared out of the Polish penalty area by Dawid Kudyba. Poland countered quickly, and but for an impressive save by Gasland, Lewandowski would surely have doubled their advantage.

 

Poland gifted us a free-kick in a dangerous position shortly after the second half began. Ulfsby was sadly unable to make the most of it, as he curled his set-piece straight into Ziolkowski's grasp. At the other end, Gasland's safe hands made light work of a 60th-minute free-kick from Lewandowski.

 

Then came a bright spell for Norway, which began with a great opportunity that Dogus Ayan blasted wide on 61 minutes. Two minutes later, Poland centre-back Tomasz Kolodziejczak headed away an Ulfsby corner, but only as far as Snorre Alexandersen. Kolodziejczak then blocked Alexandersen's drive, and a follow-up shot from Wikstrand, before Norway defender Mikael Nordnes finally deflected the ball in off striker Frode Krovel. Unfortunately, Frode was in an offside position when Mikael's strike hit him, and so our fortuitous goal was rightly disallowed.

 

Krovel went for goal again in the 69th minute, missing by some distance. Poland striker Lukasz Pawlik went close to putting the Bialo-czerwoni 2-0 up shortly afterwards. We would have to defend deep over the final 20 minutes, but captain Kristoffer Svendsen was in inspired form, making loads of interceptions to keep our deficit down. Although we didn't have enough bite to hit Poland with a late equaliser, our defence at least ensured that we left Poznan with our pride somewhat intact.

 

Poland - 1 (Matuk 36)

Norway - 0

Friendly, Attendance 26,922

NORWAY LINE-UP: Gasland, Belsas (Haug), Svendsen, Nordnes, Kristensen (Bakkane), Normann (Ayan), Ulfsby (Kleppa Christensen), Engebraten, Rossbach (Alexandersen), Solberg (Krovel), Wikstrand.

 

That actually wasn't a bad performance. We'd arguably matched Poland in most aspects, with just that one solitary lapse costing us what would've been a creditable draw.

 

We would now make our way to Ukraine, where the Zhovto-Blakytni had just seen off Northern Ireland to consolidate 2nd place in our UEFA Euro 2036 qualifying group. Meanwhile, group leaders Germany secured their place at the finals by defeating Greece 2-1 in Piraeus.

 

An automatic qualification spot was now virtually out of reach. Nothing but victory in Kiev would keep alive our hopes of finishing in the top two, while a defeat would effectively wipe out any aspirations we had of qualifying at all. We had reached the point of no return.

[CFuller]

UKRAINE vs NORWAY (UEFA Euro 2036 qualifier)

This was it - our final away qualifier for the 2036 UEFA European Championship. Our fleeting hopes of qualifying for the finals largely rested on our result in Kiev against former world champions Ukraine.

 

Were we to cause a major upset against the team ranked 39th in the world, we would put ourselves in pole position to finish 3rd in Group E and get into the play-offs. A draw or a defeat, on the other hand, would almost certainly consign Norway to the disappointment of missing yet another major tournament.

 

When we arrived at the NSC Olympiyskyi for our biggest battle of this qualification campaign, I decided to make some major changes to the side. The most significant of those changes was that Kristoffer Svendsen - our captain and defensive inspiration - would not be playing from the start. The 35-year-old had looked a shadow of his former self in recent times, and despite putting in a spirited display against Poland four days earlier, I felt that Ukraine's quick attackers would make mincemeat of him.

 

Tobias Juliussen took Svendsen's spot at centre-half, while the captaincy was handed to our vice-skipper Ronny Ulfsby. All told, I would make five changes to my starting line-up, including at left-back, where Isak Bakkane was granted his full debut for Norway.

 

We would need to be at our very best to take anything from this match, as Ukraine's attack looked quite fearsome. Winger Bogdan Yatsenko was an assist machine for Premyer Liha champions Dynamo Kiev, and striker Dmitry Filatov of Dnipro Dnipropetrovsk would not have looked out of place in a more high-profile league.

 

With a lot of Ukraine's players coming from Metalist Kharkiv, this team was likely to work very cohesively and prove difficult to break down. In some way, the pressure was off for us... but in another way, it really was on.

 

11 September 2035: Ukraine vs Norway - at NSC Olympiyskyi, Kiev

Ukraine midfielder Oleg Danchenko went close to curling in his first international goal after four minutes. Kim André Gasland thwarted the 26-year-old with a fantastic low save at his right-hand post. Gasland was nearly beaten at the other post in the 12th minute, but Maxym Rozdobudko headed over from Bogdan Yatsenko's left-wing cross.

 

In the 17th minute, Emil Solberg's opening shot for Norway was easily caught by Vyacheslav Fedorov in the Ukraine goal. That would be our only chance of the first half-hour, as the Zhovto-Blakytni kept us in our half for much of it.

 

We didn't exactly ease the mounting pressure on us by giving away a load of free-kicks to the opposition. By the 22nd minute, we'd conceded 13 fouls, and left-back Isak Bakkane had received a yellow card. I called my captain Ronny Ulfsby to the touchline and asked him to cool the other players down, lest we spiralled out of control. Ronny duly made sure that everyone was on their best behaviour thereafter... but easing on our tackling made us look like more of a soft touch.

 

Danchenko missed another chance to break the deadlock in the 23rd minute, blasting the ball wide from just inside our area. He would go one better eight minutes later. The Metalist Kharkiv midfielder tapped club-mate Mykhaylo Chernovetskyi's right-wing cross in at the back post after our defenders had left him in too much space.

 

The onus was now firmly on us to equalise, and skipper Ulfsby went fairly close to doing that after 33 minutes. Dogus Ayan sent a fierce strike off target three minutes later before Ukraine finished the half strongly. On another day, they could easily have put us out of contention by half-time.

 

I tried to ease some of my players' tension during the interval by reassuring them that they weren't playing all that badly. However, I didn't keep them updated on events at Windsor Park... because the news from there wasn't good. Northern Ireland had gone 1-0 up on group leaders Germany through a 14th-minute goal from Glenn Maxwell. If the Irish won, and we lost, we would have to win both of our final qualifying matches just to avoid finishing bottom of Group E!

 

Our predicament would worsen still after 47 minutes. Norway midfielder Tom Inge Fiskum's crossfield ball was intercepted by Ukraine left-back Vladimir Goncharenko, who lobbed it ahead of his colleague Yatsenko. Our right-back Trond Belsas missed his chance to head the ball away, leaving Yatsenko clear to beat Gasland and double the hosts' advantage.

 

As Belsas and Gasland recoiled in horror at the result of their mistakes, I became more desperate. I urged my team to increase the tempo and attack Ukraine, in the hope that we could unsettle our opponents. There was no knocking the Ukrainians off their stride, though, as we hardly put them under any sort of pressure.

 

A terrible miscue from Solberg in the 66th minute was actually one of the better shots we could muster. Almost immediately after that, I replaced left-winger Dogus Ayan with the experienced Per Kristian Rossbach, who now played for Admira Wacker Modling in the Austrian Bundesliga.

 

On 67 minutes, we needed Gasland to catch a Danchenko strike that would've almost certainly sealed our fate. Then, after 73 minutes, came arguably THE most fateful moment of the match from our perspective. Tobias Juliussen lifted a long ball over the Ukraine defence and sent Wikstrand through on goal... but Thomas smashed his shot against the post when he only had Fedorov to beat!

 

I quickly subbed Wikstrand off in disgust, and his replacement - Sondre Hjelmeland - would have a shot saved by Fedorov in the 78th minute. Any flicker of hope we had of qualifying for UEFA Euro 2036 died there and then. I was now desperately hoping that Germany could fight back against Northern Ireland, and thus boost our chances of avoiding the wooden spoon.

 

As we effectively waved the white flag, this match came to a bitter - and scrappy - anti-climax. Both teams would lose a player to injury before full-time, as Ulfsby strained his ankle ligaments on 82 minutes, and Ukraine midfielder Yuriy Romanenko sustained a knock in stoppage time. In truth, even if the Zhovto-Blakytni had lost more men in the dying moments, it would not have been enough to save us. This was our fifth defeat of the UEFA European Championship qualifying stages, and it was the fateful one.

 

Ukraine - 2 (Danchenko 31, Yatsenko 47)

Norway - 0

UEFA European Championship Qualifying Group E, Attendance 67,227 - POSITIONS: Ukraine 2nd, Norway 5th

NORWAY LINE-UP: Gasland, Belsas, Nordnes, Juliussen, Bakkane (Kristensen), Ulfsby, Kleppa Christensen, Fiskum, Ayan (Rossbach), Solberg, Wikstrand (Hjelmeland). BOOKED: Bakkane.

 

Germany did complete the comeback in the end, beating Northern Ireland 2-1 with a 93rd-minute winner from Thomas Weber. Mind you, the Mannschaft's victory didn't make me feel any better.

 

Our defeat in Kiev mathematically confirmed what had seemed inevitable for some time. Only the six best 3rd-placed teams would go into the play-offs, and we could not now accrue enough points to sneak in via that route.

 

Norway had failed to qualify for UEFA Euro 2036.

 

                                   P     W     D     L     F     A     GD    PTS
1.    Q     Germany                7     7     0     0     19    6     +13   21
2.          Ukraine                6     4     1     1     11    8     +3    13
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
3.          Greece                 6     2     1     3     13    12    +1    7
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
4.          Northern Ireland       7     1     1     5     9     19    -10   4
5.          Norway                 6     0     1     5     6     13    -7    1

 

When the European finals come to my native England next summer, I will be there - but only as a spectator. Norway's football players and supporters will once again stay at home, watching another major tournament from the outside.

 

All is not lost, however. We can still avoid the indignity of finishing bottom of Group E, but only if we beat Northern Ireland at home in our final qualifier on 16 October. A victory over Greece four days before then wouldn't go amiss, either.

 

My future as Norway's national team coach rides on those final two games. If I am to be given the opportunity to lead the Norwegians towards the 2038 FIFA World Cup in Australia, I cannot afford any more mistakes.

[CFuller]

OCTOBER 2035

I won't lie - being knocked out of contention to qualify for UEFA Euro 2036 with time to spare was painful. I had hoped that I could at the very least take Norway's challenge into the final batch of fixtures... but the likes of Germany and Ukraine had proven to be just too hot for us to handle in Group E.

 

That fateful loss in the Ukraine, as well as our friendly defeat to Poland earlier in September, saw us drop back a couple of places in the FIFA World Rankings. Norway were now 102nd again - not much higher than when I inherited this team two years ago.

 

It was perhaps fair to say that my first tournament cycle with Norway had not gone to plan... but there was still enough time to salvage at least something from the smouldering ruins. Our final two Euro 2036 preliminary matches were both at home - and if we could record a couple of long-awaited victories over Greece and Northern Ireland, it would make our prospects of qualifying for the 2038 FIFA World Cup look rather rosier.

 

The match against Greece on 12 October was unlikely to make much difference to our final position in Group E. The only way we could overtake the Galanolefki in the standings was to beat them by at least two goals, defeat Northern Ireland as well, and then rely on Ukraine overturning the Greeks in their final group match.

 

Our final fixture four days later really did matter, though. Basically, we had to defeat Northern Ireland if we were to avoid the indignity of finishing rock-bottom. The Norwegian players would be battling for their dignity... and I would be fighting for my job.

 

If things did not go to plan, my next squad announcement would be my last as Norway manager. These were the 23 players that I entrusted with restoring the country's footballing honour:

 

NAME                       POSITIONS       AGE    CLUB               CAPS   GOALS  HEIGHT WEIGHT     VALUE
Kim André Gasland          GK              33     Reading            40     0      5'11"  12st 12lbs £650K
Hakon Gjertsen             GK              22     Rosenborg          0      0      6'2"   14st 2lbs  £12K
Magnus Sundt               GK              33     Sarpsborg          2      0      6'0"   13st 5lbs  £4.5K
Dagfinn Haug               D (RC)          34     Haugesund          42     0      5'9"   11st 13lbs £1.5K
Trond Belsas               D (RLC)         29     Brann              12     0      5'11"  12st 3lbs  £55K
Isak Bakkane               D (L)           23     Fredrikstad        3      0      5'10"  11st 13lbs £60K
Tobias Juliussen           D (C)           28     Gimnastic          11     0      6'4"   14st 4lbs  £500K
Mikael Nordnes             D (C)           31     Sheff Utd          31     5      6'3"   13st 7lbs  £2.7M
Kristoffer Svendsen        D (C)           35     Tottenham          107    2      6'0"   12st 8lbs  £325K
Emil Solberg               D (C), ST       32     Newcastle          71     2      6'2"   13st 5lbs  £1M
Nikolas Kristensen         D/WB (L)        21     Helsingborg        6      0      5'11"  11st 9lbs  £180K
Snorre Alexandersen        DM, M (C)       25     Start              6      1      5'10"  11st 11lbs £300K
Anders Engebraten          DM, M (C)       24     Valerenga          6      0      5'9"   11st 11lbs £95K
Ronny Ulfsby               M (RC), AM (R)  34     Hannover           80     13     6'2"   13st 3lbs  £300K
Ronny Brodholt             M (C)           32     West Brom          41     0      5'5"   10st 3lbs  £900K
Jarle Kleppa Christensen   M (C)           34     Parma              80     2      5'11"  12st 1lb   £110K
Jens Rikard Normann        M/AM (R)        31     Bastia             17     1      5'3"   8st 13lbs  £3.4M
Per Kristian Rossbach      M/AM (L)        32     Admira             64     3      5'10"  11st 6lbs  £95K
Tom Inge Fiskum            M/AM (C)        24     Rosenborg          12     0      5'8"   11st 2lbs  £775K
Frode Krovel               AM (RL), ST     29     Dusseldorf         24     5      5'11"  12st 6lbs  £1.6M
Dogus Ayan                 AM (LC)         28     Milan              20     2      6'0"   12st 6lbs  £1.8M
Marius Vesterskov          ST              29     Toulouse           13     1      5'11"  12st 6lbs  £3.8M
Thomas Wikstrand           ST              31     Dusseldorf         82     42     6'0"   12st 6lbs  £3.3M

 

There was just the one change to the squad this time around. Fredrikstad striker Sondre Hjelmeland had made two appearances for Norway and hadn't impressed me in either of them, so I decided to drop him and consider another attacking option.

 

The Norwegian media had been wondering for some time why I hadn't included Marius Vesterskov in recent squads, even though he was playing in Ligue 1 for Toulouse. My reasoning behind leaving Vesterskov out was that he wasn't playing regularly enough... and he wasn't playing well enough, either. Add to that his dismal record of one goal in 13 Norway caps, and you can perhaps understand why he wasn't being picked.

 

However, things had picked up for Marius in southern France, both in gametime and in form. I therefore brought him back into the side and gave him two more chances to prove that he was an international-quality striker.

 

This squad featured four players who were aged either 34 or 35. Dagfinn Haug, Jarle Kleppa Christensen, Ronny Ulfsby and captain Kristoffer Svendsen all went into these fixtures knowing that time was potentially running out on their Norway careers.

[CFuller]

NORWAY vs GREECE (UEFA Euro 2036 qualifier)

It was the final week of Norway's failed qualifying campaign for UEFA Euro 2036, and possibly the final week of my reign as manager. A run of six competitive games without victory - TEN if you go back to the 2034 FIFA World Cup qualifiers - had left Norway in despair. Finishing bottom of Group E would be a devastating blow to our psyche.

 

We still lived in hope, though, that we could sign off with a couple of home victories. We would take on 3rd-placed Greece first, and victory against them would certainly boost our morale ahead of a tussle with Northern Ireland that would ultimately decide who took the wooden spoon.

 

When I came to select my team for the Greece game, I had one eye firmly on the NI fixture, which would take place four days later.

 

Dogus Ayan, Isak Bakkane, Jarle Kleppa Christensen and Emil Solberg had all been booked previously in this campaign. One more booking for either of them would result in a suspension from our next match, so I decided not to name any of them in the squad that played Greece.

 

There were two other players who were one yellow card away from suspension, namely Snorre Alexandersen and our attacking talisman Thomas Wikstrand. I did take a gamble on playing Snorre in midfield from the start, while I named Thomas on the bench, just in case we had any serious issues up front. I hoped it wouldn't come to that.

 

My starting XI was a mish-mash of key men and fringe players. Nikolas Kristensen returned at left-back, while three changes were made in midfield from our loss to Ukraine. Up front, the reinstated Marius Vesterskov accompanied the inconsistent Frode Krovel.

 

Our opponents had to win this match if they were to keep alive their aspirations of qualifying automatically for Euro 2036. That said, the Galanolefki were without their two star performers from when they defeated us 4-2 in Piraeus last year. Experienced winger Vangelis Vyzas was no longer in the squad, while hat-trick hero Orestis Lykoudis was nursing a broken arm and thus was not fit to play.

 

Greece were now rather weaker up front, though Lykoudis' replacement Stathis Dalakouras was not a bad striker, considering he scored 16 goals for Vejle BK when they won the Danish Superliga last season. Vyzas' place on the right wing went to the experienced Nikos Apergis, who was a familiar name to supporters of Nottingham Forest and Southampton.

 

The Greeks' biggest strength on paper was their defence, although they - like us - had yet to keep a clean sheet in the qualifiers. Nevertheless, the centre-back partnership of Real Sociedad's Christos Skoufalis and Schalke 04's Lazaros Kaltsas was a formidable one, and we would do well to get between those two.

 

12 October 2035: Norway vs Greece - at Ulleval Stadion, Oslo

One could feel the tension amongst the Norway supporters, and our players were clearly feeling it as well. Frode Krovel missed the target by a long way out FROM a long way out after just 22 seconds. Snorre Alexandersen also tried - and hopelessly failed - to drive the ball home from distance in the 8th minute.

 

Greece later won several corners in between a couple of Norwegian bookings, for our left-back Nikolas Kristensen and Krovel. Greek winger Nikos Baltzakis would also be cautioned in the 26th minute for a needless push on Norway right-back Trond Belsas.

 

Baltzakis would actually have the best scoring chance of the first half, as he curled a free-kick narrowly wide on 35 minutes. That was a rare highlight in a very poor half of football that saw far too many errant passes from both sides. Frankly, if I was a spectator, I would probably have gone home at half-time.

 

I made a couple of changes to my line-up during the interval. Isak Bakkane and Per Kristian Rossbach came on as replacements for Kristensen, who picked up a knock late in the first period, and Alexandersen. I was also seriously tempted to take striker Marius Vesterskov off after he missed a massive sitter 13 minutes into the second half. Tobias Juliussen caught the Greeks napping by hoofing the ball over their defence to Vesterskov, but the Toulouse frontman panicked and pulled his shot wide when one-on-one with goalie Thomas Vasileiadis.

 

By the 50th minute, it was our defenders who were nodding off. Galanolefki winger Angelos Grigoriadis looked to take advantage by drilling the ball to Stathis Dalakouras in our penalty area, but Kim André Gasland was alert enough to keep out the striker's shot.

 

Greece then had some disciplinary problems of their own, with both Grigoriadis and holding midfielder Apostolos Babatsikos getting booked. Poor tackling from the Greeks would ultimately bring about their downfall. With about ten minutes to go, Rossbach dribbled the ball into the penalty box, only to be stopped in his tracks by a holding foul from Las Palmas right-back Antonis Samios. The referee pointed to the spot... and Frode sent Vasileiadis the wrong way to give us the lead!

 

There were wild celebrations amongst the Norwegian players - it was as if they had qualified for UEFA Euro 2036! Of course, that dream was long dead, but a consolation victory would be rubber-stamped in the 86th minute. Krovel set up Vesterskov for just his second Norway goal, which was helped into the net by the outstretched hand of Vasileiadis.

 

At the seventh attempt, we'd finally got a win on the board, and we also kept a clean sheet - Norway's first in a competitive match for over three years! A scrappy game aptly ended with two more yellow cards (one for each side), but at least we sent our supporters home in a joyful mood!

 

Norway - 2 (Krovel pen81, Vesterskov 86)

Greece - 0

UEFA European Championship Qualifying Group E, Attendance 25,572 - POSITIONS: Norway 5th, Greece 3rd

NORWAY LINE-UP: Gasland, Belsas (Haug), Juliussen, Nordnes, Kristensen (Bakkane), Engebraten, Brodholt, Alexandersen (Rossbach), Fiskum, Vesterskov, Krovel. BOOKED: Kristensen, Krovel, Brodholt.

 

Victory is always sweet, but even more so when you've had to wait such a long time for it!

 

Greece's defeat meant that Ukraine secured the second automatic qualification spot from Group E. That said, the Zhovto-Blakytni couldn't celebrate that moment by beating group winners Germany, who triumphed 1-0 in Dortmund, courtesy of a 9th-minute goal from Rolf Schmadtke. Germany would finish their qualifying campaign with a perfect record of eight wins from as many games.

 

Greece remained on seven points going into their final qualifying tie at home to Ukraine. We were level on four points with Northern Ireland, whom we would play in our last game before we could start preparing for the 2038 FIFA World Cup qualifiers.

 

Victory for Norway would lift us above NI in the table, and we could potentially overtake Greece on head-to-head as well, provided that the Galanolefki could not get a result against the group runners-up. To finish in 3rd place after such a shocking start would provide some very welcome solace for us.

 

A draw or a defeat, on the other hand, would consign Norway to finishing rock-bottom of a qualifying group for the first time since their dismal attempt to reach the 1988 UEFA European Championship. For me, such an outcome would be an unmitigated failure. It really was win or bust as far as my career with the Norwegian team was concerned.

[CFuller]

NORWAY vs NORTHERN IRELAND (UEFA Euro 2036 qualifier)

To many people, Norway vs Northern Ireland was simply a dead rubber in terms of qualification for the 2036 UEFA European Championship. Both sides had miserably failed in their attempts to qualify, having accrued just four points apiece from their previous seven games.

 

There was, however, something at stake in this match - pride. Neither team wanted to finish bottom of Group E, and so you could be certain that they would go all-out to avoid the wooden spoon.

 

We were especially keen to finish a poor campaign with victory, and not just because we had home advantage. We were still smarting over our incredible 3-2 defeat to Northern Ireland in Belfast earlier in the year - a result that effectively ended any realistic hope we had of reaching the finals. Revenge was very much in our minds.

 

More importantly, we were under greater pressure to get a result. We had to win to avoid finishing in last place, while Northern Ireland - ranked 106th in the world (just four places below us) - could afford a draw.

 

If we didn't win, it would be the first time in nearly five decades that Norway had brought up the rear in a qualifying group for a major tournament. In that case, my role as head coach would surely be untenable - and if the NFF didn't sack me, I would resign on the spot.

 

I made three changes to the side that beat Greece four days earlier. Tobias Juliussen, Ronny Brodholt and Frode Krovel were all dropped, with Emil Solberg, Ronny Ulfsby and Thomas Wikstrand taking their places. Wikstrand was one of several players for whom a booking here would see them suspended from our opening 2038 FIFA World Cup qualifier.

 

Ulfsby wore the captain's armband for this match, but our full-time skipper Kristoffer Svendsen was in line to come off the bench if needed. If Svendsen did make an appearance, it would be his 108th cap for Norway - and most likely his final one as well.

 

Northern Ireland had most of their key men available, including Dunfermline striker Eamonn McAllister and Chesterfield playmaker Gerard Devlin, both of whom had terrorised us in Belfast. Their back four featured a couple of English lower-league players, a left-back from Conference Premier side Woking, and a teenage centre-half - Billy Murray - who was playing for Barcelona's B team!

 

16 October 2035: Norway vs Northern Ireland - at Ulleval Stadion, Oslo

Left-back Nikolas Kristensen could've got us off to the perfect start after just 13 seconds, but his early 20-yard drive was superbly pushed wide by Bryan Quinn. The Northern Ireland goalkeeper also kept out a second-minute strike from Marius Vesterskov before defender Ryan Webb knocked it behind for a corner. Norway captain Ronny Ulfsby's delivery found Marius at the near post, and a sublime header opened the scoring!

 

From that point on, we were well on top of the Green and White Army. The crossbar denied Vesterskov a second goal after 12 minutes, with that effort coming in between a couple of bookings for Northern Ireland. The visitors had their first real shot at goal in the 15th minute, when Dunfermline hotshot Eamonn McAllister struck just over the bar. A better opportunity would come McAllister's way in the 23rd minute. He received a long ball from left-back Michael Wilson near the halfway line and then dribbled with it to the penalty area, where he fired it into Kim André Gasland's hands.

 

For the rest of the first half, though, it was all Norway. Ulfsby and Thomas Wikstrand each had a couple of scoring opportunities, and Thomas forced Quinn into a difficult save on 35 minutes. Although we remained 'only' 1-0 up at half-time, that lead could arguably have been much bigger.

 

Wearing the captain's armband seemed to inspire Ulfsby, who continued to take the game to Northern Ireland after the restart. The Hannover 96 winger skimmed a shot just over their crossbar after 47 minutes. Ronny was also involved in a 51st-minute attack that resulted in attacking midfielder Tom Inge Fiskum powering the ball wide.

 

Shortly after that, young NI right-winger Gary Mulholland curled the ball towards his left-sided colleague Aaron Rooney in our penalty area. Norway right-back Trond Belsas then inexplicably pulled down Rooney to stop him from receiving the cross. That prompted the ref to point to the spot - penalty to Northern Ireland! McAllister now had a great opportunity to draw his team level... and push us back to the bottom of the group!

 

Having placed the ball on its spot, McAllister took a deep breath before running up to strike it. The 25-year-old fired to Gasland's left... but Kim dived the same way and made a fantastic catch!

 

Buoyed by our goalkeeper's heroics, we pushed forward again to try and kill the game off. Wikstrand was unlucky to whistle a couple of shots over the bar in the 54th minute, whilst Fiskum had an effort parried by Quinn three minutes later. Tom would later receive a booking for tripping Webb as the tension gradually rose. Lady Luck continued to elude our strikers in the 69th minute, when Wikstrand's latest effort was blocked by NI defender Ciarán Montgomery before being caught by Quinn.

 

As for the visitors, McAllister's game continued to go downhill before he was substituted with about a quarter of an hour to play. Darren McCabe came on for the Irish, but it was a Norwegian substitute who would score the game-defining goal after 80 minutes. Wikstrand's flick-on from Vesterskov's long ball teed up the sweetest of volleys from Dogus Ayan, who netted from the edge of the 'D' and silenced the Green and White Army!

 

We therefore finished the UEFA Euro 2036 qualifiers with back-to-back 2-0 home wins. Although Wikstrand received a late yellow card that would suspend him from our first qualifier for the 2038 FIFA World Cup, nothing could dampen the lively atmosphere at Oslo when the final whistle blew!

 

While we had managed to avoid finishing last, we couldn't quite sneak into 3rd place. Greece locked that position down with a 6-0 thumping of Ukraine in which our old nemesis Orestis Lykoudis scored FIVE goals! I'll tell you what, I'm so glad he wasn't playing against us four days earlier!

 

Norway - 2 (Vesterskov 3, Ayan 80)

Northern Ireland - 0

UEFA European Championship Qualifying Group E, Attendance 25,572 - POSITIONS: Norway 4th, Northern Ireland 5th

NORWAY LINE-UP: Gasland, Belsas, Solberg (Svendsen), Nordnes, Kristensen, Engebraten, Ulfsby, Alexandersen (Brodholt), Fiskum (Ayan), Vesterskov, Wikstrand. BOOKED: Fiskum, Wikstrand.

 

                                   P     W     D     L     F     A     GD    PTS
1.    Q     Germany                8     8     0     0     20    6     +14   24
2.    Q     Ukraine                8     4     1     3     11    15    -4    13
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
3.          Greece                 8     3     1     4     19    14    +5    10
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
4.          Norway                 8     2     1     5     10    13    -3    7
5.          Northern Ireland       8     1     1     6     9     21    -12   4

 

We did it! We had saved our dignity, and that was good enough for our fans, some of whom chanted for "TWO MORE YEARS" when I saluted them at full-time. Would I get two more years, though?

 

After congratulating my players on a well-earned victory, I had a meeting with my bosses at the NFF. This was a quick debrief about our performances in the UEFA Euro 2036 qualifiers; a more detailed assessment would come in November.

 

The NFF were "slightly disappointed" that we had not been competitive enough. Although Germany were clearly the best team in our group, Ole Einar Halvorsen and his fellow executives felt that we should have finished above Greece and at least pushed Ukraine close. Still, it could have been a whole lot worse.

 

When all was said and done, they were just about satisfied with my performance as Norway manager. They offered me the chance to lead them through the qualifiers for the 2038 FIFA World Cup... and I accepted.

 

It's going to be a tough ask to guide Norway to what would be their first World Cup finals for 40 years. A lot of the elder statesmen will have to make way for younger players, and the talent pool in Norway is certainly not as big as it used to be.

 

That said, those last couple of results against Greece and Northern Ireland have given me the belief that we can give qualification a real shot. If the previous two years was a long and difficult learning process, the next two could see us really kick on and restore Norwegian football to its former heights.

 

My next game as Norway boss won't be until June next year. That gives me plenty of time to plan our route to Australia.

[neilhoskins77]

I think you've done a great job to salvage seven points from the ruins of that start, and climb off the bottom to earn some respect and a new deal. Hopefully some of Norway's young prospects will be able to take their chance to step up to the Senior side and drag the country forward.

[CFuller]

12 hours ago, neilhoskins77 said:

I think you've done a great job to salvage seven points from the ruins of that start, and climb off the bottom to earn some respect and a new deal. Hopefully some of Norway's young prospects will be able to take their chance to step up to the Senior side and drag the country forward.

I'm a little annoyed that those two wins were so long in coming, but I'm largely relieved that we avoided last place in the end.

We've got to look to the future now, and cast off some of the has-beens in favour of younger players. We've got a few hot prospects in defence, which is a great help now that our captain Kristoffer Svendsen has retired (he announced his decision almost immediately after the NI game). What I really want, though, is an exciting striker who can take over from Wikstrand in the long-term.

Annoyingly, I couldn't arrange any friendly matches for November, so we won't play again until the next international break in May/June. That means you will most likely have to wait a few weeks for the next update to this story.

[mark wilson27]

At least you didnt finish bottom of the group and as Neil said that seven points was good from what you started with. Hopefully the next tournament will see your lot get closer to going through

[CFuller]

Just now, mark wilson27 said:

At least you didnt finish bottom of the group and as Neil said that seven points was good from what you started with. Hopefully the next tournament will see your lot get closer to going through

A lot depends on what draw we get for the 2038 World Cup qualifiers. Hopefully the top two seeds in our group will be rather less daunting than Germany and Ukraine.

If we can't qualify for a 24-team European Championship, it's probably too much to expect us to reach a World Cup when there are far fewer places at stake for UEFA members. My minimum target will be to at least get close to the top two, and then maybe set qualification for Euro 2040 as a realistic goal if I stick around.

[oche balboa]

Leave and go to an African Nation. 

[CFuller]

24 minutes ago, oche balboa said:

Leave and go to an African Nation. 

Not while I'm still at Dagenham & Redbridge, for two very important reasons:

1. It's already a stretch to combine a club job in one country with an international job in another. Trying to work in two different continents at the same time would surely be too much for a 50-something man, even in the 2030s.

2. Could you imagine a scenario in which my national team qualifies for the Africa Cup of Nations, and I then have to ask the Dagenham chairman, "Sorry, Mr Booth, but would you kindly let me leave the Daggers in the middle of a relegation battle for the next three weeks? I've got some important business in Tunisia to attend to."

And no, I am NOT leaving Dagenham & Redbridge any time soon.

TL;DR - I don't have any plans to take over an African nation at this time.

[oche balboa]

Thats me told  

[CFuller]

21 minutes ago, oche balboa said:

Thats me told  

I hope you're still enjoying the story regardless. Like I said, there'll be more in a few weeks.