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(FM 17) Kaizer Effenberg: Dare to Dream


efcfan

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“It's like everything in football - and life. You need to look, you need to think, you need to move, you need to find space, you need to help others. It's very simple in the end.” -Johann Cruyff

Hello, and welcome to my first ever story here on the forums. I have been playing FM since FM 17, and have decided to write a story using Kaizer Effenberg, my alter ego. I was inspired to write my own story by “An Impossible Man” and Rob Ridgeway’s story, and I humbly hope that you the reader find this story interesting. This story is a journeyman save with no real goals other than to try and see if Kaizer can manage my beloved Everton and the United States National Team and turn them into good teams.

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September 7th, 2016

It was a warm afternoon in Oswestry, and I took a walk around the stadium. The air was crisp and it was starting to hit me that I was a football manager. My name is Kaizer Effenberg, and I hail from the city of Hannover. I always played football as a kid and wanted to turn professional, but that dream disappeared after I tried out for Hannover’s academy at the age of 14. I was told that I was too slow and not skilled enough to play, and that sent my dreams into a funk. I got through university tending bar, though I always dreamed that I would have to get involved somehow in order to prove that I could still make an impact in the world of football other than a fan watching Hamburg or Everton either in person or on television. At the start of September, I sent my application to dozens of clubs around the world, hoping that I could get my foot in the door somewhere. I was turned down by clubs in Finland, Ireland, Northern Ireland, and other places.

Much to my surprise however, TNS of Wales did not laugh me off and chose to interview me. The club president Mike Hall was firm, asking me about my lack of experience and why I was the right man to lead the dominant club in the Welsh Premier League. I responded that my goal was to make TNS succeed by focusing on staying dominant in the domestic game, and also focusing on trying to go further in Europe. My goals at this great club are to succeed with people who want to be there, want to improve, and want to be changers for the future. The Welsh Premier League needs to capitalize on the success of Bale, Ramsey, Coleman, and the success of the national team in order to build the national league. I was drawn to this job because the man or woman that can help lead a club into success in Europe and build a sustainable base is going to be the manager who succeeds. Jose Mourinho succeeded at Porto and leveraged his success into becoming a legend. Sir Alex Ferguson built Aberdeen into a team that defied the odds to win in Scotland and in Europe. Howard Kendall built Everton into a team that conquered Europe and should have done more if not for forces outside his control. These men may have walked into situations that were not great, but they built teams and took their success with them to grow their legends, and that is what I wanted to do here. Hall and owner Mike Harris agreed with that vision, and thus I was hired as the newest manager of TNS.

The club is located in England, but plays in the Welsh league system and was made famous by Jeff Stelling saying “They’ll be dancing in the streets of Total Network Solutions tonight!” on Soccer Saturday. This year, the team was leading the Welsh Premier League when I took over, with 9 points from 3 games. The squad has plenty of players who can do a job on the domestic front, led by Jon Routledge, the leading light of TNS. Routledge is a 26 years old English player who joined us on a free from Dumbarton in Scotland. I am looking for him to be the main man in midfield and to control that area in the 4-5-1 formation. The reason I chose this formation is because the players are used to it as well as providing me with plenty of support in European games down the line.

Once I arrived at the club earlier this week, I took a look at the side and found that it was pretty settled. I was pleased to see that there was plenty of depth in midfield and that was important to me. I prefer to have the spine of the team be the strongest, because the best title winning teams in my 25 years on this earth generally have their best players in the middle. Since I also am a baseball fan, the old cliché goes that your best defenders always play up the middle. Wes Fletcher is the main goal scoring threat, as the 25 years old Englishman has 2 goals in the league and is a new addition to the club this summer arriving from Motherwell after having Football League experience with Accrington Stanley. I know that players like Wes and Jon are going to be key, players who are hungry to fight for the squad and want to improve their chances of getting into the big time.

My first meeting with the players was today, and I talked to them. I said in broken English “Hi, my name is Kaizer Effenberg. I came here in order to help us as a club continue on its path to improve itself in Europe and keep dominating domestically. We are the full-time squad here, and we have a target on our backs. My main goal is that we work hard in training to win our next match, and that we build towards goals that are within our reach and broaden those goals as we reach them. My goal for us this year is to continue our good start and prepare for Europe next year, where you guys can work to advance. Everyone that is here has done something right, and I know that a lot of you want to make moves to other clubs and where the lights are brighter. I was told as a player by Hamburg that I was not good enough, and I refused to let that define me. This may be my first manager job ever, and I might have no badges to go with my name. What matters is that every time we cross these white lines on this field or wherever we are assigned to or we earn the right to play, we compete, and compete hard.”

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October 6th, 2017

My first month in charge of TNS has been encouraging, with a couple of blips. The squad is going to have the stamina to compete on all fronts this year, which is what the bosses want. I made a couple of transfer dealings who are going to arrive in January to help give us depth as well as provide the club with a shot in the arm. I paid £10.75k for goalkeeper Lukas Lidakevicius, a 23-year-old capped for Lithuania U23. He will join us from East Thurrock in the National League South. He is someone who should add class and I expect to challenge for the number 1 shirt. I also paid £18.5k for Bobby-Joe Taylor, a left midfielder/winger who plays for Maidstone in the National League. He has bags of potential and should help us with a little flair on the flanks and make my team younger, in addition to counting towards registration rules down the line. My most exciting signing so far is Ryan O’Reilly, a 21-year-old Irish defender who was signed on a free after Stoke let him go. He can play anywhere on the defensive line and looks to be a player that can slide into defense right away. This team is going to have to be strengthened by looking at domestic players in our league as well as looking at players who were released from Football League clubs or National league clubs.

It was strange having people listen to my tactical musings, and actually carrying them out. I told my players that the important thing was to make sure that we bed our tactics in early. The 2nd tactic that I chose was a 4-3-3 that was narrow in order to give us more attacking options and allow us to better break down sides who were going to try and frustrate us. I wanted to build the club ethos around the fact that we were the hated team that everyone wanted to make their name around beating us, and I told my players to constantly expect the best shot from every team. I had expected to have to be the underdog, but instead would have to be the big dog. The hardest challenge of this job was that the pressure would be on my shoulders even more despite the fact that the board liked me and knew that I was someone who had potential.

My first match in charge was away to Airbus UK, and it was a major thrill to take my seat in the dugout for the first time ever. The viewpoint was a lot different than being on the field or in a warm couch with a cold one in my hand. It took us a while to break our opponents down as they were playing slightly deeper than I expected and were looking for a draw. In the second half, substitute midfielder Jamie Mullan released winger Asa Hall with a great pass past the defensive line and Hall converted the chance, sending the bench into celebrations. We held on for the win, but it was not exactly as easy as I would have liked. I told the squad that they had been a bit sluggish, and that it was important to keep the pressure on at the top in order to avoid losing our title at the business end of the season. They seemed to agree, but something seemed to me that there was a reason that the club had turned to an outsider, and it was a little unsettling.

TNS plays in England just across the Welsh border, and certainly had a number of advantages that other clubs did not. TNS got Champions League money and had an owner who made the club fully professional. I of course had not done any of this in my time, but this job felt like I had earned it without having earned my dues at a lower club or getting poached because of my name. This club was like Manchester City or Chelsea, but at a level where their advantages were in theory undisputed and were the favorites all the dang time in this league. Every manager in this league must be looking at me and wondering how the hell this dude from Hamburg got the plum job when they had paid their dues?

Our next match was in the league against Cefn Druids at home, and my home debut could not have been more frustrating. Cefn Druids shocked the small crowd at Roots Hall when Matthew Trevett scored a nice finish in the second minute of play, and I screamed “You have to pay attention and not let your foot off the gas with these guys!” Wes Fletcher scored a penalty in the 39th minute and converted a long pass from midfield in the 59th minute to give us a lead that I thought was going to be safe, but Cefn Druids had the nerve to draw level in the 79th minute when Craig Garside scored with a low finish in the bottom corner of the net. I was about ready to scream, knowing that we could not allow this. Thankfully, we were able to pull out a draw that was probably the right result. Once we got into the dressing room, I walked in and decided to do the hairdryer treatment. “You guys are the champions of this league and you allow this to happen? Dropping points is not acceptable at home when you have the lead! Wes, you did a good job digging us out of the early hole, but you have to be ready for the intensity that teams are going to bring in this league. You have to embrace the villain! I know that sounds daft, but we are the villians in this league, and we have to embrace it in order to win! For the sake of all that is good, do it and respond!”

Thankfully, we had the chance to embrace our role in the Nathaniel MG Cup 3rd round against lower division side Haverfordwest at home. The game was very pleasing as my switch to a 4-3-3 narrow setup payed off in spades, as we won 7-0. Wes Fletcher, Greg Draper, and Scott Quigley all got braces. Steven Saunders got the 7th goal, and it was great to see us win and respond to defeat, and this gave me an additional tactic to test out on the training ground, and allowing me to keep juggling players in order to use our professional status as a strong weapon. We can train all the time and be rested for our matches, while other clubs have to worry about players getting off for work and the like.

We followed this performance up by beating Llandudno in the league 5-0 at home. We had 5 different scorers in Steven Saunders, Wes Fletcher, winger Ryan Brobbel, defender Christian Seargeant, and winger Beryly Lubala. The players were very happy with their performance, and the mood seemed to be shared among me and the fanbase. It finally felt like I had found a tactic and a team that was able to make sure that my lead at the top of the Welsh Premier League would stay at 3 points over Cefan Druids. However, I was about to discover that there was always something that could go wrong on the pitch, and that I was not exactly immune to making a mistake.

My idea behind the 4-5-1 was that it would work very well for domestic fixtures as well as competitions like the Champions League and Scottish Challenge Cup, and could be easily tweaked to be more attacking or more defensive depending on what the requirements were to deal with an opposition. I switched from the 4-3-3 narrow to the 4-51 when we played Bala away from home, and we gave up goals in the first half by Will Bell and Yora Enzam inside 14 minutes. The fear factor looked to be gone, and my formation appeared to be something that would not work all the time and I needed a change. I thought that we had done enough to scrape a point when Christian Seargeant and Wes Fletcher combined to score a quick double in the 57th and 58th minute, but Bala would end up scoring 2 more, both by Chris Venables in order to complete the rout. In the dressing room, I was about ready to fire a rocket up the backside of my players. “What in the world was that? You just cost us the fear factor on those guys, and we have to play them in a League Cup semifinal later on? I expect to see a heck of a better effort, and we will be going 3 up top in order to do that.”

Would the message get through? Well, I switched back to the 4-3-3 for our match on Tuesday due to our trip to Falkirk in the Challenge Cup. We came into this match against Carmarthen Town at home tied at the top of the table with 13 points, and needed to put a marker down. We won 4-3, with Scott Quigley scoring the winner with his second goal of the match. Carmarthen was attacking, and we took the lead three times but were pegged back twice. We go into the Falkirk match having 16 points and a better goal difference than Cefan Druids, but they have a game in hand. I have grown a bit, and I hope that things are going to continue to go well.

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November 7, 2016.

At this point in the narrative, it would make sense to tell you guys why I happened to be where I was. I was born in Hamburg to an English mother and a German father, though I always thought of myself as German first and foremost. My mother was from the Liverpool area and was a former season ticket holder at Goodison Park, thus I had no choice in the matter. My father was a Hamburg supporter and I have always had an affinity for the two clubs, and I was always kicking a ball in the backyard. My dream was to be involved with football to turn around the fortunes of the teams I was exposed to. Hamburg and Everton are similar in that they have a rich history, though have fallen behind other clubs. My goal was to play professionally in spite of my physical limitations. I stand at 6 feet tall and am in decent shape, so I at least look like someone who could go out on the pitch.

The problem was that I never had the athletic ability to match up, and I happened to physically get stronger at a later age, but it was not worth it. My tryout with Hamburg went well, but I struggled to avoid getting pushed off the ball, and the coach said to me “We appreciate your passion and your desire, but we don’t think you could be good enough at this time.” I heeded his words and made a promise to myself that this would not be the end of my dreams, that instead I wanted to help other players achieve what could be possible.

My style of motivation is to focus on building blocks, and being sure to treat every match as a chance to do your best. My squad is the best team in Wales, but I was really looking forward to test them against the best outside of our corner of the world. The first chance was against Falkirk in the Challenge Cup up in Scotland.

The match started brightly, as I encouraged them to give me a good 90 minutes and not worry about the result, since the board made it clear that they were not exactly expecting much from me in this cup. We hung on until the 23rd minute, when Joe McKee scored a goal off a cross. The cross was at the far post, and it was a nice and tidy finish. I had a look of resigned confidence and I motioned for us to go all out, figuring that we were going to have to attack in order to get back and see if we could rattle them a bit. The problem was that Falkirk are a side that would not look out of place in the SPL, and they would not let us through, which was not surprising considering we were away in Scotland. In the 68th minute, Nathan Austin converted a goal from just outside the penalty area to round off the scoring. It was a good goal that curled into the upper corner after nicking the post, so it was a combination of skill and luck. The match ended 2-0, and TNS exited at the 4th round. It would have been nice to continue on, but we got to expand our reach into Scotland a bit, and the lads got a taste of what was needed at the next level.

We returned to league play against Cardiff Met Uni away from home, and I was looking for a good response, knowing that streaky form could be devastating and could ruin careers especially early on. We needed to keep trying to win in order to make sure that teams would wilt under the pressure, and to give us a way to deal with fixture congestion due to cup runs.  We went down early to Steve Connor scoring a goal where he beat the offside trap and converted a low shot into the near post. I urged my players to attack, attack, attack, and we scored 4 unanswered goals to get out of dodge. The pick of the goals was Greg Draper scoring a nice header off a corner in the 54th minute to get us ahead, and we turned on the style from there. I was pleased to see that attacking seemed to work, and we could make it harder for teams to sit back and try and grind out a result against us.

One of the things that was starting to annoy me about my competition was that they relied a lot on trying to play defensive and catch us on the break. I understand that this is a viable strategy and something that would make sense for us in Europe next year, don’t get me wrong. The best way is to attack and show a bit of confidence, and try and play pretty. As an Evertonian, I much preferred to have a mix of Roberto Martinez and David Moyes, where there was a clear structure in place, but with attacking flair and players who were not overawed by the occasion. Getting this mix right was the challenge that I had, and my answer was to make sure that you attack and never give the opponent any time to react, since sitting back meant that you were relying on their talent screwing it up rather than taking the imitative.

We next faced Rhyl at home, and we jumped out to a 2-0 lead within 21 minutes. New star Greg Draper hit again first with a beautiful goal where he got the ball near the penalty spot, and chipped it over the onrushing keeper, in a very cheeky manner. This was one of the best goals I have seen in Welsh football, and Greg ran to celebrate with me and gave me a high five in the technical area. I high fived him back, and said “That’s the way you do it man! Way to start us off, and way to celebrate with me, even though I only get paid to stand here and yell all the time.” Scott Quigley score a tap in goal to make sure of the points, and we cruised home, continuing to put pressure on the pack to try and match us.

Our next match was one of the most shocking losses I have been a part of in my young career. Aberystwyth certainly had home advantage, and we took the lead through Scott Quigley in the 21st minute. However, we proceeded to get humbled fast as our hosts hit three second half goals to win 3-1. All of the goals were scored on the counter, and it made me want to vomit all over my technical area. I was not happy as the full-time whistle ended, and I stopped my players from going into the dressing room.

“Gentlemen, I want you to take a look at this scene. There might only be a couple hundred fans out here, but they made a lot of noise and wanted to see you fail, and we went up early. You have to be able to close games out to win, and I think you view the league as a foregone conclusion. Well, no competition is ever a foregone conclusion. I hated to pull a Phil Brown and give my talk to you lads out here in public, but I want to warn you that I will do it for every single away loss the rest of the season in a domestic competition. I never want to motivate through fear, but you left me no choice. The second you walk in these white lines away from home, understand that you are going to marked out because of what crest is on the front of your kit.”

The next match was at home against Connah’s Quay, we responded in the way I wanted. Wes Fletcher and Christian Seargeant combined for three goals, with Fletcher scoring a brace. The goals were pretty routine finishes on the break with nice interplay between the two, which was rewarding to see. I challenged my attackers to put aggressive balls into the danger areas, and encouraged Fletcher to gobble up his chances. Yes, we conceded a goal, but that was after we had put the game to bed, and the crisis was averted.

Going away to a lower division team in the cup was something that made me nervous, since we were marked to go down in order to raise the smaller team up. Caerau Ely could have given up after we had converted 2 penalties and scored a fine header from Scott Quigley off a Fletcher cross to go 3-0 up. However, the underdogs fought their way back to 3-3 off a penalty, a thunderbolt from a free kick, and a bold inside run in the box by Liam Wilson after 74 minutes. However, cometh our hour of need, there was a bailout. That act of saving our skin came from Scott Quigley, who received a pass from Jon Routledge that split the center backs, and Quigley scored a sitter after rounding the keeper and firing into an open net. We hung on to win, and after the match I wasn’t sure to be angry or wondering if my team was going to take a year off my life.

The best news this month was that the board allowed me to take a coaching course to get my National C license. I was glad to network and to learn from other coaches, and that was going to help me improve my skills as well as increase my reputation should I ever decide to leave TNS. Truth be told, I was enjoying this club a lot and I liked the rustic setting the league provided. It was great to get in the slog of the season, and it would be a good challenge for some managers like Pep or Jose, managers who dined on their reputations and had access to unlimited resources in a league that was all sizzle with no steak.

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December 7, 2016.

This management thing has been a real eye-opener to dealing with people. When I have been taking classes in Cardiff on my coaching course, the instructor urged us to focus on having a robust plan in order to get the best out of your players. I was encouraged to put more thought into what I want my charges to achieve and I made the changes. The new goal for me and my coaching team was to encourage our players to focus on four key themes.

The first theme was Trust Your Skills. I believe that each player and coach would not be here unless they were wanted, and it was important to note that I had kept most of the coaching staff and had not chosen to bring in a bunch of new players to fit my system. This faith in the resources that had been provided to me meant that every single player felt comfortable to not worry about being the right fit, but instead worrying about how do I use my skills to better the team.

The second theme was Learn Every Day. This was a core philosophy for me, since I was a rookie manager who had been thrown into the deep end despite having no experience or badges. I view every single day as a chance to encounter new things and challenges. The mark of a great professional is not based on skills or blind luck, but instead how they handle adversity. This month had been filled with tough matches, and my players seemed to come back stronger and not worry about the past as much. I liked to tell my team in my team talks that today is a good day to learn in order to help Trust Your Skills.

The third theme was Enhance Your Skills. Part of the Learning Every Day initiative is to use your match time as a chance to work on your skills and improve in training. Now, I am not a manager who happens to have the skills or the experience to take a lot of the training, and I have delegated to my coaches this responsibility with the proviso that I have specific things that I want players to work on. The biggest training item that I encourage my players is to learn how to play when we are under pressure and dealing with parking the bus. The drill that helps with this is our 11 players attack against 15 players. The theory behind the drill is that players learn to attack a team that will sit behind the ball and defend for the whole match, and they have to deal with teams that want to play on the counter. This drill seems to be working, and I like to do it at the end of training in order to try and simulate fatigue as best as possible.

The biggest theme is Challenge Your Status. Football these days seems to be based on who has the money instead of who actually has the history. Certain clubs bought success, and as a Hamburg supporter it is difficult to have to sell our best players to Bayern and Dortmund, even though they have earned their place on merit. I always believe that as a manager, you should be honest with your players and I tell my guys that you are the big dogs in this league, but are minnows in the smaller pond that is Europe. What this club need is to get past the 2nd round of qualifiers in the Champions League in order to at least get into the Europa playoffs to make money and see if we can get the money that will change the club and the league forever. Alvaro Recoba famously said in 2005 that Uruguay had a divine right to qualify for the World Cup. Certain teams have a great history and should be commended, but they forget that the beauty of this sport is that what matters is on the pitch on a specific day. The reason The New Saints are paying me is so that on a day when it matters most, I can get my team to beat someone to advance into Europe and challenge their status under the bright lights and television cameras.

Our first match this month was facing Bangor City away from home in the league. We got off to a good start when after 4 minutes they got a man sent off. Mihai Leca had a cross ping off him into our net to go down 1-0 against 10 men. Not the best start ever, and even worse they scored when Daniel Nardiello put one past the keeper with a sublime finish from just outside the box that banged off the far post. The players looked downhearted and I was about ready to run on the pitch and scream at them for being so terrible when we were almost handed 3 points for free in the opening stages of the match. However, a tactical change to all out attack did the trick, as Ryan Brobbel finished from the penalty spot after getting onto a through ball in the 26th minute. In the second half, Scott Quigley scored and got help from Wes Fletcher to score a combined 3 goals to escape town with a 4-3 victory in what would be the match of the year so far.

 In the semifinal of the League Cup, we got a routine 2-1 win over Bala at Wrexham. Greg Draper scored a second half double with both goals coming off through balls from the midfield to catch the defense out of their lines. It is clear to me that Draper and Fletcher are reliant on midfield service and that has to be something that we need to train in order to be successful, though we are starting to pull away from second place a bit with more pressure on. This win sets us up for a final against Bangor in January. Should be an interesting day out and a chance to win my first trophy as a manager.

We returned to the league and played Airbus UK at home. It was our turn to be down a man after Kristopher Da Garca got sent off after hauling down an attacker being the last man. We had taken the lead through Greg Draper in the first half, but they got a goal through Sam Jones on a free kick in the 66th minute, just four minutes after the sending off. Thankfully, we were able to save some face when Draper scored an incisive finish in the 93rd minute to spark a mad celebration. I raised my fists and did a Tiger style double fist pump and hugged my coaches. We were able to make good on the win, though a few more of these and I might soon age about 20 years. That was a good win to make sure the pressure was on to match us, then we could have the luxury of playing for draws in the Championship Group and worry about the Welsh Cup.

We left it late in our next game away against Cefn Druids. We took the lead on 79 minutes through Greg Draper, and we were pegged back two minutes later by David Forbes. It was looking like another match where we would drop points and face an inquest again. Thankfully, I had subbed on Simon Spender. That man did not want to lose, and he won a penalty after being bumbled over in the box, and converted the penalty in the 86th minute to save our blushes. These teams in the Welsh League want to make our lives interesting, and there is a sense that this league might not be over and every point is going to matter.

Our next match was away against Llandudno, and we had a comfortable 3-1 win. We were down 1-0 after six minutes, but goals by Asa Hall, Beverley Lubala, and Wes Fletcher in the first half made it a comfortable enough win to allow us to stretch our legs a bit and enjoy the end to the latest month in charge for me here.

As I write this, every team in the league has played 16 games. We are on 40 points with a goal difference of 18. Bala are in second with 27 points and a goal difference of 10. Cefn Druids are on 25 points and are level with Airbus UK, with Cefn Druids holding a 4 goal lead in goal difference. Bangor, Connah’s Quay, and Llandudno are on 22 points. Bangor has a goal difference of 3. Conah’s Quay has a goal difference of -1, and Llandudno has a goal difference of -4. Aberystwyth are on 21 points with a goal difference of 2. Newtown are on 19 points with a goal difference of -1. Ryhl are on 18 points with a goal difference of -18. In the relegation zone, Carmarthen are on 16 points with a goal difference of -8 above Cardiff Met Uni who are on 9 points with a goal difference of -19. We are in good shape and I hope that we can keep it up for the rest of the season.

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January 7th, 2017.

Hope may spring eternal every year, and my goals are to continue my coaching course, win some silverware, and explore if anyone else is going to hire me. The reason that I would consider getting out of TNS is that all the pressure is on a couple of games in July, and I want to dream more. Football is a game that is transitory these days, and the club is in good shape. I have convinced the board to look for a senior affiliate to give us access to better young players on loan as well as a lucrative friendly in addition to getting a fee each year. My intention is to leave each club in a good place if possible, to set up the next manager for success. You may not call me a romantic, but sometimes it is better to be pragmatic.

The first match of this diary entry was at home against Bala. This was a top of the table clash, so I wanted to win or draw in order to force them to have to keep up with me without having gained a whole lot of confidence, and they promptly went up 2-0 in the first half thanks to scoring some scruffy lower league goals off a couple of deflections. Mark Connolly and Chris Venables scored, and I was about ready to scream, but there were only a couple hundred people in the ground, so screaming would make me look like a proper fool. Thankfully, Wes Fletcher decided that we were not going to lose, as he scored a second half double off a couple of forward runs to seal a good comeback and ensure that our lead stayed the same and that no advantage was gained as we neared the split.

Our next match was at Carmarthen and it was another frustrating 1-1 draw. These teams seem to parking the bus against us which makes sense. I would have done the same thing if I was battling relegation or going against the bigger team in the league. Mark Jones scored from them off a free kick routine, which annoyed me. Set pieces in my view are defined by tactics alone, and can be worth points on their own for mastery of both offensive and defensive setups. We failed in that regard, but thankfully Ryan Brobbell bailed us out with a second half goal off a corner kick to save our blushes. Just a very disappointing day and one that makes me ever more likely to try and leave at the end of the season for a better offer, or maybe after the Champions League matches.

Over the Christmas period we had a doubleheader of matches against Newtown. Honestly, I have never heard of that, but it is a cool idea and made it almost like a knockout tie in an UEFA knockout round. Of course, the Welsh Premier League was unlikely to see Ronaldo and Messi come here. Though if they wanted to play for me all they had to do was ask, and I could make room on my team sheet.

The first time we played Newtown was away on Boxing Day, and it was another day of them parking the bus and trying to get a point. There seemed to be a meeting before I got hired that indicated that Kaiser needed to get a bus parked against him every single match. In fairness, it was probably a sound strategy to use. Greg Draper got the goal off a ball over the top of a slightly high defensive line and beat the keeper at the far post. Not an artful performance, but I will take the points in the bag at the end of the day.

On January 2nd, we were at home to Newtown and were on the wrong end of a 1-0 match. Niel Mitchell scored in the first half off a header in the box off a cross, and we could not break them down despite going overload and throwing everything at them. Just a terrible effort, and a very nice present to our fans who spent their festive season watching this dreck. Just a terrible way to play and manage, and not something which I would dare to dream about. If you dream about a 1-0 park the bus win, you might be a Welsh Premier League manager.

Today, Bobby-Joe Taylor scored the only goal for us as we won 1-0 at home to Cardiff Met Uni. Another 1-0 win, another goal over the top on the break. This must be what Groundhog Day was like. We are 12 points clear in the league of Bala, and should be on course to win. We have a cup final to contest at the end of this month against Bangor, and we start the post-split fixtures soon. Huzzah!

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37 minutes ago, tenthreeleader said:

You're really doing well here. Welcome to the forums and thank you for the kind words about old man Ridgway. 

You are welcome, and thank you for the kind comments. I should stay the course and see what exactly happens at the end of the year.

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Author’s note: I am jumping ahead in time because Kaiser has been offered an international role and wanted to try something a bit different. He got this job on February 17th, 2017, and it was a youth national team side in an area of the world of which I personally enjoy managing and have had plenty of success in FM. We will continue with regularly scheduled updates next time.

For Immediate Release

Today, the Ivorian Football Federation is proud to announce that they have reached an agreement with Kaiser Effenburg to be the manager of the Under 20’s side. Effenburg is currently the manager of Welsh Premier side The New Saints and will continue there in a dual role. Effenburg is in his first year of management and currently has guided his club side to top of the Welsh Premier League and won the Nathaniel MG Cup.

Why Effenburg?

The Ivorian Football Federation chose Effenburg because he impressed us in his interview. He was able to articulate that he wanted to develop the young talents in a tournament setting. He indicated that winning the Under 20’s Cup of Nations was to be his goal. Although he is a young manager, he has shown that he wanted to build players up and give them experience in pressure settings to improve them and test them.

The New Saints

For Immediate Release

The club would like to praise Kaiser Effenburg for his loyalty and agreement to continue managing the club. We understand that due to our success in the league, that Effenburg would be considered for other management roles. We feel that his new job with Ivory Coast is going to be a good one for him and the league as a whole. Assistant Manager Scott Ruscoe will handle the team during the international breaks and will make sure that Effenburg is going to still be in touch. Effenburg will decide tactics and match preparation, though Ruscoe will make sure that the team is doing well and continuing the success that we expect in our domestic competitions. The club would like to thank the Ivorian FA for agreeing to work with us and sharing Effenburg, and we wish them luck in their upcoming U20’s internationals against Uganda and Cape Verde later this month.

February 17, 2017.

It is a great thrill to be named the manager of the Under 20 Ivory Coast side. This job seems a bit out of left field to some, and I understand that my attentions are going to be divided between two jobs for a while. My reasoning is that I always have wanted to experience an international tournament, especially one where there is going to be plenty of chances for me to experience some different players and tactics. Africa is a nation where the footballing talent continues to impress, and I always have felt that CAF as a federation is competitive and has given us some entertaining teams over the years. Most German managers might not choose to manage in Africa, but I always believe that to be a great manager, your methods should work anywhere in the world. I hope to improve my skills, and to enjoy the experience.

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