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Fools Go Russian In


BobBev

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Introduction

I never tried the Russian Revolution Challenge when it was first running in 2003 and I always meant to give it a go, so here it is now. Running FM2005 5.0.5 with data update, all English and Russian Leagues.

The Russian Revolution Challenge by Joe Finnigan

The arrival of Roman Abramovich to Chelsea has changed the face of football over the summer. Your overall task, though, is to put Russia and its club sides on the map in the footballing world, in the same way teams in England, Spain and Italy have.

Now that Roman Abramovich has ploughed lots of money into Chelsea, there are high expectations that they will challenge for the league. However, now the club has the money to try and find success, your first task is to make use of the money you have available and win the Premiership, the first time they would win the championship since 1955, and Champions League for the first time in Chelsea's history.

Once you have completed that task, you must wait for a managerial job for a Russian club side to become available for the second stage, and when there is one you can apply for it and hopefully take up the reins of one of the clubs in Roman Abramovich's home country. You may do whatever you wish while waiting for any jobs to become vacant, whether it be remaining at Chelsea and winning more trophies with them, resigning and becoming manager of a different team or resign as Chelsea boss and just stay unemployed until the job comes along.

When you are finally in charge of a Russian club, you have to again win either the UEFA Cup or Champions League - obviously this would probably be a much tougher task than the first stage if you had to win the Champions League with the Russian side you're managing to progress to the next stage, so you are allowed to win either the UEFA Cup or Champions League - so you only have to win one of the two, not both of them. Once you have finally won one of the European competitions with your Russian club, the second stage of this challenge will be completed.

Once you're on to the final stage of the challenge, you have another wait until the Russian national job becomes available which is who you would be managing for this final part of the challenge. Again, what you do while you wait for the national job to become available is up to you. When it is available though, apply for it. Once you eventually become manager of the Russia national team, your final job is to win both the European Championships and the World Cup. There is no particular order in which you have to win the tournaments i.e. you can win the World Cup before the European Championships, and vice versa. Once you have done that, you have completed the challenge.

Shortened guide to stages

Stage 1: Take control of Chelsea, win Premiership and Champions League in no particular order.

Stage 2: Apply for jobs at Russian club sides, and once you are appointed at one of the clubs, win either the UEFA Cup or Champions League.

Stage 3: Wait for Russian national job to become available; once you are appointed, win both the World Cup and European Championships, again in no particular order.

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Introduction

I never tried the Russian Revolution Challenge when it was first running in 2003 and I always meant to give it a go, so here it is now. Running FM2005 5.0.5 with data update, all English and Russian Leagues.

The Russian Revolution Challenge by Joe Finnigan

The arrival of Roman Abramovich to Chelsea has changed the face of football over the summer. Your overall task, though, is to put Russia and its club sides on the map in the footballing world, in the same way teams in England, Spain and Italy have.

Now that Roman Abramovich has ploughed lots of money into Chelsea, there are high expectations that they will challenge for the league. However, now the club has the money to try and find success, your first task is to make use of the money you have available and win the Premiership, the first time they would win the championship since 1955, and Champions League for the first time in Chelsea's history.

Once you have completed that task, you must wait for a managerial job for a Russian club side to become available for the second stage, and when there is one you can apply for it and hopefully take up the reins of one of the clubs in Roman Abramovich's home country. You may do whatever you wish while waiting for any jobs to become vacant, whether it be remaining at Chelsea and winning more trophies with them, resigning and becoming manager of a different team or resign as Chelsea boss and just stay unemployed until the job comes along.

When you are finally in charge of a Russian club, you have to again win either the UEFA Cup or Champions League - obviously this would probably be a much tougher task than the first stage if you had to win the Champions League with the Russian side you're managing to progress to the next stage, so you are allowed to win either the UEFA Cup or Champions League - so you only have to win one of the two, not both of them. Once you have finally won one of the European competitions with your Russian club, the second stage of this challenge will be completed.

Once you're on to the final stage of the challenge, you have another wait until the Russian national job becomes available which is who you would be managing for this final part of the challenge. Again, what you do while you wait for the national job to become available is up to you. When it is available though, apply for it. Once you eventually become manager of the Russia national team, your final job is to win both the European Championships and the World Cup. There is no particular order in which you have to win the tournaments i.e. you can win the World Cup before the European Championships, and vice versa. Once you have done that, you have completed the challenge.

Shortened guide to stages

Stage 1: Take control of Chelsea, win Premiership and Champions League in no particular order.

Stage 2: Apply for jobs at Russian club sides, and once you are appointed at one of the clubs, win either the UEFA Cup or Champions League.

Stage 3: Wait for Russian national job to become available; once you are appointed, win both the World Cup and European Championships, again in no particular order.

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The Challenge Begins

Colonel Aleksandr Ivanovich Palichenko sat in his office in the once notorious Lubyanka in the centre of Moscow. Palichenko was a senior officer in the Federal Security Service (Federal'naya Sluzhba Bezopasnosti, or FSB). The FSB provides broad law enforcement functions, fighting crime and corruption, in addition to discharging security and counter-intelligence responsibilities. It is broadly equivalent to the FBI in the United States.

Palichenko was so deep in thought that he did not respond at first to the knock on his door. The knock was repeated, more insistent than before, and the Colonel's reverie was broken. "Come in†he called out. "Ah, Misha. Please, take a seat." Captain Mikhail Petrovich Sokolov sat down in front of the Colonel's desk. He looked at his superior enquiringly. “You wanted to see me Comrade Colonel?†The Colonel did not reply. Instead he pushed a folder across his desk towards Mikhail who opened it and began to read.

Roman Abramovich Profile

1966: Born October 24 in Saratov on the Volga River in southern Russia.

Lost his mother to illness when he was 18 months old and his father was killed in a construction accident when he was four. Adopted by his father's brother, he lived for a time in Moscow and then with his maternal grandparents in the northern region of Komi. He attended the Industrial Institute in the city of Ukhta in Komi, before he was drafted into the Soviet army. Now a very successful businessman he concentrates his business activities on trading oil products out of Russia's largest refinery in Omsk, western Siberia.

He has a controlling interest in Russian oil giant Sibneft, as well as shares in national airline Aeroflot, and a television company, among other holdings, through Millhouse Capital, registered in Britain. He also founded the charitable foundation Pole of Hope, which has sent children to summer camps on the Black Sea and sent shipments of food aid to Chukotkan villages. He owns a Russian ice hockey team and owns a 42-hectare country estate near Moscow with his wife and four children.

1992: Investigated, but eventually cleared, for alleged misappropriation of 55 railroad wagons full of diesel fuel from the Ukhtinsky petroleum processing plant.

1999: Elected a member of the Duma representing the remote region of Chukotka, which is just across the Bering Strait from Alaska.

2001: Elected governor of Chukotka and begins radically building up the infrastructure of the province. Listed by US business publication Forbes Magazine as the second-richest man in Russia, worth around $3billion (£1.8bn).

2003: Forbes list Abramovich as the 49th richest person in the world, with a new worth of $5.7billion (£3.42bn), while the Sunday Times in the UK claim he is worth £3.8bn.

2003: July 1st he agrees a deal with Chelsea owner Ken Bates to buy his majority shareholding in the Barclaycard Premiership club for £29.6million and also agrees to underwrite their substantial debts of Chelsea Village.

When he had finished reading Mikhail laid the folder back down on the desk. “What has this to do with me Comrade Colonel?â€, he asked.

The Colonel replied “We have been investigating Abramovich for several years as we suspect that not all of his vast fortune has been made by legitimate means. We believe that his recent purchase of this English football club is another of his elaborate money laundering schemes. I am assigning you to the investigation with immediate effect.â€

“I see. What are my duties to be?†responded Mikhail.

“You will go deep undercover and travel to England to investigate this Chelsea thing in detail. We have arranged for the current manager of the club, an Italian by the name of Signor Ranieri, to resign. The incumbent Chairman, an unpleasant gentleman known as Mr. Bates, has been……… persuaded shall we say, to appoint a new Russian manager and then step down from his position.â€

“But Comrade Colonel, I know nothing about football. I could not possibly…â€

“Not you Misha!†the Colonel interrupted. “We have secured the services of a real manager. Yuri Igorevich Djerkinov has had some success in the lower divisions in the Russian League. Unfortunately, he had to leave his previous employer because of his increasing fondness for his Wodka. He speaks no English and as you are fluent in that language, your cover will be as his interpreter. He knows nothing of our true purpose of course.â€

“I see Comrade Colonel. So it will be myself and an old drunk.â€

“Not quite Misha, you will not be alone. You will be accompanied by Vladimir Alekseyevich Titov – you know him I believe?â€

“ Ex-Spetsnaz special forces, yes I do indeed know Vladimir Alekseyevich.â€

“His cover will be Fitness Trainer for the team. I am sure that he will enjoy being able to employ his special brand of training. Your objective is to find out as much as possible about the financial dealings of the club. Report all significant transactions directly to me. All of the arrangements are in place and you fly to London tomorrow. Good luck Misha.â€

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Thanks chaps

The Guardian

Monday July 5th, 2004

Ranieri Out At Chelsea

In a press conference at Stamford Bridge yesterday, it was announced that Claudio Ranieri had handed in his resignation because of “health reasonsâ€. Chairman Ken Bates said “We are sorry to see Claudio leave the club, but he has made this decision because of his concern for his health. We must respect that decision and we thank Claudio for the contribution that he has made to Chelsea Football Club.†It is expected that his successor will be named within a few days.

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Good luck with this one BobBev! I actually completed this challenge when it was originally run (albeit after a very very long career at CSKA in the chilly climes of Moscow). It was and still is my most cherished career so i hope you get as much pleasure out of it.

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Cheers haze

The Daily Mail

Monday July 12th, 2004

Blues See Red With New Boss

The new manager of Chelsea Football Club was unveiled yesterday and, surprise surprise, he’s a Russian. Yuri Djerkinov is not well known in this country but he apparently has many years of management experience back in Russia. Speaking through an interpreter, the new boss of the Blues made a short statement. “I am delighted to be associated with such a wonderful club as Chelsea and I thank Mr. Bates and Mr. Abramovich for giving me this opportunity. I look forward to meeting the players and staff as soon as possible and I hope that we will have a very successful first season.†Reaction amongst the Chelsea supporters has been mixed, but in general they are willing to give the new man time to settle in and prove himself.

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Thanks Weegie

The Guardian

Tuesday July 13th, 2004

Bates Sells Out

Chelsea Chairman Ken Bates has made the surprising decision to dispose of his remaining interest in Chelsea Football Club. Owner Roman Abramovich will be taking over as Chairman and former Manchester United Chief Executive Peter Kenyon will be installed as Managing Director. All parties have been strangely reticent about the circumstances surrounding this event and no one from the club was available for further comment.

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Decoded Despatch from Agent Sokolov

Friday July 16th, 2004

We have arrived safely in London and have secured our accommodation and transport. Yuri Igorevich has been busy assessing his squad. Vladimir Alekseyevich has already instigated a new training regime and the players are finding it tough going. I have taken steps to investigate the financial situation here at Chelsea. A far as I can ascertain Mr. Abramovich has some £200M in the club’s account and around £40M has been made available for transfers this season. A wage budget of £1.8M a week has been allocated and the current wage bill is just under half of that amount. Mr. Abramovich has had several private meetings with Yuri Igorevich, none of which I was able to attend as a translator was not required. If I am to believe Yuri Igorevich’s account of the discussions it appears that the Chelsea owner is very keen to invest in new players and he has urged his new manager to obtain several signings before the close of the summer transfer window.

Yuri Igorevich has now spent some time assessing his playing staff and he tells me that he has identified several areas of the team that need to be improved and that he will try to follow his instructions to the letter. I intend to stay as close to him as possible so that I can follow the money trail. I will also try to keep the old fool as sober as possible, but from what I have soon so far this will be even more difficult than infiltrating the Abramovich organisation. I have obtained some initial information on the staff at the club that may be of use and this is attached.

Staff

<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre">

| -------------------------------------------------------------------|

| Job | Name | Nat | Weekly wage | Expires |

| -------------------------------------------------------------------|

| Chairman | Roman Abramovich | RUS | - | - |

| -------------------------------------------------------------------|

| Man Dir | Peter Kenyon | ENG | - | - |

| -------------------------------------------------------------------|

| Manager | Yuri Djerkinov | RUS | £7,250 | 30.6.2005 |

| -------------------------------------------------------------------|

| Asst Mgr | Steve Clarke | SCO | £7,000 | 30.6.2008 |

| -------------------------------------------------------------------|

| Asst Mgr | Baltemar Brito | BRA | £3,600 | 30.6.2009 |

| -------------------------------------------------------------------|

| Coach | Brendan Rogers | NIR | £7,000 | 30.6.2006 |

| -------------------------------------------------------------------|

| Coach | Neil Bath | ENG | £2,700 | 30.6.2008 |

| -------------------------------------------------------------------|

| Coach | Eddie Newton | ENG | £4,800 | 30.6.2008 |

| -------------------------------------------------------------------|

| Coach | Damian Matthew | ENG | £3,200 | 30.6.2007 |

| -------------------------------------------------------------------|

| Coach | Jason Cundy | ENG | £3,500 | 30.6.2007 |

| -------------------------------------------------------------------|

| Coach | Rui Faria | POR | £5,000 | 30.6.2008 |

| -------------------------------------------------------------------|

| Coach | Mick McGiven | ENG | £3,500 | 30.6.2009 |

| -------------------------------------------------------------------|

| Coach | Silvino | POR | £3,000 | 30.6.2007 |

| -------------------------------------------------------------------|

| Physio | James Wilson | ENG | £3,500 | 30.6.2007 |

| -------------------------------------------------------------------|

| Physio | Phil Reynolds | ENG | £3,500 | 30.6.2009 |

| -------------------------------------------------------------------|

| Physio | Mark Bodie | ENG | £3,500 | 30.6.2009 |

| -------------------------------------------------------------------|

| Physio | Glen Driscoll | ENG | £3,500 | 30.6.2006 |

| -------------------------------------------------------------------|

| Physio | Mike Banks | ENG | £3,500 | 30.6.2007 |

| -------------------------------------------------------------------|

| Scout | Terry Hopkins | ENG | £1,700 | 30.6.2008 |

| -------------------------------------------------------------------|

| Scout | Ray Townsend | ENG | £1,700 | 30.6.2008 |

| -------------------------------------------------------------------|

| Scout | André Vilas Boas | POR | £875 | 30.6.2009 |

| -------------------------------------------------------------------|

| Scout | José Ferreirinha | POR | £200 | 30.6.2007 |

| -------------------------------------------------------------------|

| Scout | John Button | ENG | £1,700 | 30.6.2009 |

| -------------------------------------------------------------------|

</pre>

Players

<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre">

| -------------------------------------------------------------|

| Name | Weekly wage | Expires | Value |

| -------------------------------------------------------------|

| Arjen Robben | £60,000 | 30.6.2009| £20.5M |

| -------------------------------------------------------------|

| Frank Lampard | £80,000 | 30.6.2009| £16.5M |

| -------------------------------------------------------------|

| Didier Drogba | £65,000 | 30.6.2007| £12M |

| -------------------------------------------------------------|

| Mateja Kezman | £50,000 | 30.6.2008| £11.75M |

| -------------------------------------------------------------|

| Juan Sebastián Verón | £90,000 | 30.6.2007| £11M |

| -------------------------------------------------------------|

| John Terry | £90,000 | 30.6.2009| £10M |

| -------------------------------------------------------------|

| Damien Duff | £65,000 | 30.6.2007| £9.75M |

| -------------------------------------------------------------|

| Eidur Gudjohnsen | £20,000 | 30.6.2006| £9.5M |

| -------------------------------------------------------------|

| Hernan Crespo | £70,000 | 30.6.2005| £9.5M |

| -------------------------------------------------------------|

| Claude Makélélé | £60,000 | 30.6.2007| £9M |

| -------------------------------------------------------------|

| William Gallas | £30,000 | 30.6.2006| £8M |

| -------------------------------------------------------------|

| Joe Cole | £45,000 | 30.6.2008| £8M |

| -------------------------------------------------------------|

| Ricardo Carvalho | £29,000 | 30.6.2007| £6.5M |

| -------------------------------------------------------------|

| Petr Cech | £26,000 | 30.6.2009| £6.5M |

| -------------------------------------------------------------|

| Tiago | £9,500 | 30.6.2008| £5.75M |

| -------------------------------------------------------------|

| Wayne Bridge | £45,000 | 30.6.2008| £5.75M |

| -------------------------------------------------------------|

| Mikael Forssell | £9,000 | 30.6.2007| £5.5M |

| -------------------------------------------------------------|

| Carlton Cole | £5,000 | 30.6.2009| £5.25M |

| -------------------------------------------------------------|

| Paulo Ferreira | £24,000 | 30.6.2008| £4.7M |

| -------------------------------------------------------------|

| Scott Parker | £30,000 | 30.6.2008| £4.4M |

| -------------------------------------------------------------|

| Glen Johnson | £29,000 | 30.6.2008| £4.2M |

| -------------------------------------------------------------|

| Geremi | £45,000 | 30.6.2008| £4.1M |

| -------------------------------------------------------------|

| Jiri Jarosik | £15,000 | 30.6.2007| £4.1M |

| -------------------------------------------------------------|

| Alexeï Smertin | £16,000 | 30.6.2005| £3.5M |

| -------------------------------------------------------------|

| Robert Huth | £5,000 | 30.6.2005| £3.1M |

| -------------------------------------------------------------|

| Carlo Cudicini | £20,000 | 30.6.2006| £2.7M |

| -------------------------------------------------------------|

| Filipe Oliveira | £1,000 | 30.6.2005| £2.2M |

| -------------------------------------------------------------|

| James Simmonds | £275 | 30.6.2007| £1.3M |

| -------------------------------------------------------------|

| Steven Watt | £750 | 30.6.2006| £800K |

| -------------------------------------------------------------|

| Jack Watkins | £300 | 30.6.2005| £775K |

| -------------------------------------------------------------|

| Lenny Pidgeley | £1,000 | 30.6.2006| £700K |

| -------------------------------------------------------------|

| Jamie Watkins | £240 | 30.6.2005| £575K |

| -------------------------------------------------------------|

| Nuno Morais | £1,900 | 30.6.2007| £575K |

| -------------------------------------------------------------|

| Jeffrey Ntuka | £1,000 | 30.6.2007| £550K |

| -------------------------------------------------------------|

| Michael Modubi | £900 | 30.6.2007| £525K |

| -------------------------------------------------------------|

| Danny Woodards | £500 | 30.6.2005| £375K |

| -------------------------------------------------------------|

| Michele Gallaccio | £1,000 | 30.6.2005| £325K |

| -------------------------------------------------------------|

| Sam Tillen | £750 | 30.6.2006| £250K |

| -------------------------------------------------------------|

| Kevin McKinley | £500 | 30.6.2005| £240K |

| -------------------------------------------------------------|

| Filipe Morais | £500 | 30.6.2005| £220K |

| -------------------------------------------------------------|

| Boy-Boy Mosia | £300 | 30.6.2006| £200K |

| -------------------------------------------------------------|

| Joe Tillen | £190 | 30.6.2005| £190K |

| -------------------------------------------------------------|

| Dean Smith | £500 | 30.6.2005| £190K |

| -------------------------------------------------------------|

| Sebastien Kneissl | £1,600 | 30.6.2005| £160K |

| -------------------------------------------------------------|

| Jimmy Smith | £180 | 30.6.2005| £130K |

| -------------------------------------------------------------|

| Joe Keenan | £1,000 | 30.6.2006| £120K |

| -------------------------------------------------------------|

| Yves Makabu Ma Kalambay | £1,000 | 30.6.2005| £110K |

| -------------------------------------------------------------|

| Anthony Grant | £190 | 30.6.2005| £100K |

| -------------------------------------------------------------|

| Adrian Pettigrew | £190 | 30.6.2005| £50K |

| -------------------------------------------------------------|

| Danny Hollands | £70 | 30.6.2005| £45K |

| -------------------------------------------------------------|

| Ed Brand | £150 | 30.6.2005| £30K |

| -------------------------------------------------------------|

| James Younghusband | £300 | 30.6.2005| £26K |

| -------------------------------------------------------------|

| Ben Hudell | £500 | 30.6.2005| £20K |

| -------------------------------------------------------------|

| Phil Younghusband | £190 | - | |

| -------------------------------------------------------------|

| Isaac Promise | £150 | - | |

| -------------------------------------------------------------|

| Michael Mancienne | £375 | - | |

| -------------------------------------------------------------|

</pre>

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From the Diary of Yuri Djerkinov

Thursday July 21st, 2004

Things have happened so quickly that I can barely believe that I am here in London, never mind in charge of one of the most powerful football clubs in the world. I may have a weakness for my beloved Wodka, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t have my wits about me. It is obvious that Abramovich has put in place a man that he believes he can control and he certainly sees me in that light. But there is more to all of this than meets the eye. My “translator†Misha and his “fitness coach†sidekick Comrade Titov are certainly not what they seem. I may be an old drunk but I am far from stupid and I am going to have to play a very careful game here, otherwise I could end up in some very hot water indeed.

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The Telegraph

Tuesday August 10th, 2004

New Broom At The Bridge?

With the start of the new Premiership season just a few days away what difference will the new Chelsea manager make? Little is known of Yuri Djerkinov – he is 54 years old, speaks no English, communicates through an interpreter and has never managed a top-level team before. Widely regarded as a puppet installed by owner Roman Abramovich, the Stamford Bridge fans are highly sceptical about his appointment and the ousting of the popular Claudio Ranieri. Thus far there have been three additions to the playing staff during the summer transfer window. Stephen Warnock was purchased from Liverpool for £850K to provide cover on the left side of defence. The same amount was spent on Romanian goalkeeper Bogdan Lobont from Ajax and French winger Fabrice Fernandes came in from Southampton for £2M. With Arjen Robben, Carlo Cudicini and Mikael Forssell all carrying mid to long term injuries some additional cover was clearly required. Neither of the senior players currently on loan have been recalled – Veron and Crespo are regarded as expensive mistakes and are unlikely to be brought back into the fold. But with money no object for Abramovich it may not be too long before there are further additions to the squad and only time will tell if the unknown Russian manager will be able to blend all of this talent into an effective team.

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The Daily Mail

Monday August 16th, 2004

High Fives All Round At The Bridge

New Chelsea boss Yuri Djerkinov made a spectacular start to his Premiership career when his side beat London rivals Spurs 5-2 at Stamford Bridge yesterday. The visitors took an early lead through Jermain Defoe who opened the scoring with barely two minutes on the clock. Chelsea struck back quickly as Didier Drogba opened his account some ten minutes later. Geremi added a second on 17 minutes with Mateja Kezman also netting in his debut on the half hour. Defoe, by far Tottenham’s best player on the day, reduced the deficit on 39 but Geremi scored his second on the stroke of half time. The second half was a quieter affair but Kezman rounded off an excellent afternoon for the Blues with a goal in stoppage time at the end of the game.

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Thanks Dixie

The Times

Thursday August 19th, 2004

Southampton Hold Chelsea

A battling performance from a brave Southampton side saw them take a deserved point from their game at home to Chelsea. The home side recovered from conceding an early goal to get back into the game, Kevin Phillips netting in the 70th minute to square the game. Barely five minutes had been played when Icelandic international Eider Gudjohnsen opened the scoring for the visitors after being set up by some neat approach play from former Saint Fabrice Fernandes. Chelsea always looked lively going forward but Southampton showed great spirit to stay in the game and will take heart from their solid display.

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Cheers Andy

The Sunday Times

Sunday August 22nd, 2004

No Bore Draw At Goodison

The game between Everton and Chelsea may have ended scoreless but there was no lack of entertainment for the 40,000 fans that packed the stadium. Both teams showed a deal of attacking endeavour and chances were created at both ends of the pitch. Home keeper Nigel Martyn was probably the busier of the two stoppers and he rolled back the years with a faultless display of goalkeeping skills to be named Man of the Match.

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Cheers uskopite

The Sun

Thursday August 26th, 2004

Villa Lose Thrilla

Aston Villa stunned moneybags Chelsea when they raced into a two-goal lead inside ten minutes at Stamford Bridge last night. Juan Pablo Angel opened the scoring after five minutes and teen striker Luke Moore got the second five minutes after that. The Chelsea defence looked half asleep as the Villa attack tore into them and new Stamford Bridge Tsar Yuri Djerkinov was on his feet at the side of the pitch screaming a stream of instructions in Russian to his team. But the home side weathered the early storm without any more damage and pulled a goal back before half time through Didier Drogba. No doubt Yuri tore them off a strip in the dressing room during the break and they played much better in the second half. Midfielder Claude Makelele equalised a few minutes after the restart as Chelsea began to assert themselves on the game. But with time running out it looked like David O’Leary’s team would hold on for the draw until Frank Lampard scored the winner with a 30-yard screamer in virtually the last second of stoppage time.

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Thanks Spav

The Sunday Times

Sunday August 29th, 2004

Keegan Left Frustrated As City Draw

Manchester City manager Kevin Keegan saw yesterday’s 1-1 draw at home to Chelsea as two points dropped rather than one gained. “I’d have taken a point at the start of the game†said a disappointed Keegan later, “but on balance of play we really should have got the winâ€. His team got off to the perfect start when livewire Shaun Wright-Phillips scored after just two minutes. They enjoyed a fair amount of possession in the first half and were frustrated not to add to their lead before the break. Chelsea certainly improved in the second half and scored a neat equaliser through Mateja Kezman within ten minutes of the restart. But neither manager was really happy with the result. Speaking through an interpreter after the game, Chelsea boss Yuri Djerkinov commented “If we continue to concede early goals and hand our opponents the initiative we will always struggle to come back and win. In the circumstances a point was reasonable but I am not pleased with how the team played todayâ€.

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The Sun

Wednesday September 1st, 2004

Chelski Flash The Cash

£120M – that’s how much Roman Abramovich splashed out on players just before the end of the transfer window yesterday. In a move that has sent shock waves throughout the game he confirmed the recent rumours of a major signing by announcing not one, but two huge deals. He has signed Patrick Vieira from Arsenal and Ronaldinho from Barcelona. None of the clubs involved will reveal the full details of the sums involved but the Sun can reveal exclusively that documents lodged with the FA just before yesterday’s deadline indicate that the two deals together are worth just short of £120M. How many teachers, nurses or policemen would that sort of money pay for we ask? In our opinion Abramovich is ruining the game by his uncontrolled spending. How can any other club compete with his bottomless money pit? So we appeal to all you true football fans out there – whoever Chelski are playing this season, let’s cheer on the opposition and let them know that the Premiership title is not for sale!

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<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">with time running out it looked like David O’Leary’s team would hold on for the draw until Frank Lampard scored the winner with a 30-yard screamer in virtually the last second of stoppage time. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

typical Villa icon_frown.gif still good start Bob!

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Decoded Despatch from Agent Sokolov

Wednesday September 1st, 2004

It has been a hectic month here in London as we begin our mission and we have all been kept very busy. Yuri Igorevich has been working hard with the players and I have had to spend more time than I expected translating his instructions during the training sessions. So far I have been able to keep him sober most evenings and he seems genuinely pleased to be working with such capable footballers.

Mr. Abramovich has been most insistent that as much money as possible is spent on new players. Towards the end of the month he was getting increasingly adamant that we should make some big signings and then a few days before the close of the transfer window he took things into his own hands. We were unaware, but he had already been negotiating for some players and without the knowledge of Yuri Igorevich he closed two huge deals. Ronaldinho was purchased from Barcelona for £53M and Arsenal captain Patrick Vieira was signed for £66M. Both players have been offered quite long contracts – both are on 4-year deals with Ronaldinho earning £80K a week and Vieira £55K.

Abramovich seemed almost desperate to spend the money and my next task is to try to get closer to the financial systems of the club to find out more about how there deals are funded and where the cash is routed. As you have always told me Comrade Colonel – follow the money!

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Thanks lawsy and BoN for your support

From the Diary of Yuri Djerkinov

Monday September 5th, 2004

What a joy it is to be working with players of such quality, and despite my unease about the real reason that I am here and the murky characters that surround me, I cannot help but be rejuvenated by the challenge in front of me. What a chance I have to prove myself as a coach and to rid myself of the tag of a washed-up drunk. And what a talent Ronaldinho is – it will take him a little time to settle into the English game but I am sure that he will be a superstar for Chelsea. When I heard that both he and Vieira had been signed I could barely believe it, but they are so good to work with. I must say that whatever Misha’s real purpose is, he does a very good job of translating my ideas to the players. The boy has a real feel for the game and it shows in the way that he understands what I am getting at. The rest of this season is going to be very interesting indeed.

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The Sunday Mirror

Sunday September 12th, 2004

Drogba Double Sinks Addicks

With new signings Vieira and Ronaldinho both making their debuts it was a sellout at Stamford Bridge yesterday and two goals from Didier Drogba either side of half time completed a 2-0 win for Chelsea at home to Charlton. The Blues were in total control of this London derby with Alan Curbishley’s team rarely able to mount an effective attack of any sort. Dean Kiely was called into action throughout the game but there was little he could do to stop either of Drogba’s efforts.

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The Times

Thursday September 16th, 2004

Celtic Take The Spoils

Ever since the draw for the Champions League groups threw together Chelsea and Celtic there has been great anticipation north of the border. And it was Celtic who came out on top in the group opener, triumphing 3-1 with a powerful and energetic display. Despite the promptings of Patrick Vieira in midfield the visitors appeared strangely lethargic and never really looked like winning. Celtic were out of the blocks quickly as Chelsea did their usual trick of conceding an early goal, John Hartson on target after just 5 minutes. Stilian Petrov doubled their advantage on 27 minutes and even when Didier Drogba reduced the deficit 10 minutes later the Blues still looked unconvincing. Commanding centre back Bobo Balde re-established the two goal cushion when he powered home a header just before the break. Chelsea did create further chances in the second half but when tested the Celtic keeper proved equal to the task. It’s never easy to qualify when you lose your opening game and Yuri Djerkinov now has his work cut out to get his team back on track.

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The Sunday Times

Sunday September 19th, 2004

Chelsea On Top After Midlands Win

A 2-0 win at West Brom has taken Chelsea to the top of the Premiership on goal difference over unlikely challengers Everton. Dominant throughout, the visitors got off to a great start when Frank Lampard fired home from the edge of the area inside the first five minutes. They went on to carve out a number of presentable chances before the break, none of which were converted. The home side showed more of an attacking threat after the break, looking to use the pace of substitute Rob Earnshaw to catch Chelsea on the break. The Welsh international came close to equalising on two occasions but each time his finishing let him down. The Blues finally put the game to bed inside the last ten minutes when they caught their hosts on the break and some crisp passing found Patrick Vieira powering into the area and he finished neatly past Russell Hoult.

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The Sunday Express

Sunday September 26th, 2004

Ronny On Target For Blues

Chelsea mega-signing Ronaldinho has a lot to do to live up to his price tag but yesterday he displayed some flashes of brilliance against Middlesbrough at Stamford Bridge. After a fairly even and goalless first half he opened the scoring just after the restart. Damien Duff picked him out on the edge of the area and the Brazilian finished with a low shot into the corner. On the hour mark he turned provider, cushioning a Duff cross on his chest before laying the ball off for Frank Lampard to fire home. A late penalty for the home side was tucked away by fullback Paolo Ferriera to make the final score 3-0 and underline Chelsea’s dominance.

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The Guardian

Wednesday September 29th, 2004

Late Goal Stuns Chelsea

A brilliant performance by Ronaldinho, during which he scored twice, looked like giving Chelsea a win in their Champions League group at home to Sparta Prague. But it was not to be as the visitors, who looked dangerous on the break all evening, stunned Stamford Bridge with a stoppage-time equaliser. Ronaldinho struck early, latching on to a pass from Joe Cole and swivelling to shoot home after just 6 minutes. But Sparta showed their capabilities with a superb equaliser ten minutes later. Jiri Kral played a wonderful defence-splitting pass for Jan Rezek who controlled the ball at pace to finish past Cech. However, within 5 minutes Chelsea were in front again as Ronaldinho picked up the ball midway inside his own half and, leaving a trail of defenders in his wake, scored a dazzling solo effort. Both sides threatened further goals without actually delivering until the killer blow from the visitors at the end.

<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre">

| --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| Pos | Team | Pld | Won | Drn | Lst | For | Ag | G.D. | Pts |

| --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 1st | Celtic | 2 | 2 | 0 | 0 | 5 | 1 | +4 | 6 |

| --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 2nd | Sparta Prague | 2 | 0 | 2 | 0 | 3 | 3 | 0 | 2 |

| --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 3rd | Chelsea | 2 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 3 | 5 | -2 | 1 |

| --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 4th | CSKA Moscow | 2 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 1 | 3 | -2 | 1 |

| --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

</pre>

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Decoded Despatch from Agent Sokolov

Friday October 1st, 2004

The transfer dealings of Mr. Abramovich have made quite a dent in the club’s bank balance – I estimate that they now have some £75M of cash available. I have been investigating the financial organisation of the team and I have made some contacts in the accounts office that may prove to be useful. One of the clerks in particular, a young lady called Sally Brown, may be a useful source of information. She is very talkative and I am trying to develop a personal relationship with her that would allow me to get some inside information. Comrade Djerkinov continues to work well with the players, despite his difficulties with the language, but that does mean that I am having to spend more time in translating duties than I had originally hoped.

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The Independent On Sunday

Sunday October 3rd, 2004

Arsenal Top As Chelsea Held At Bolton

Arsenal’s 4th straight Premiership win, 3-0 at home to Portsmouth, coupled with Chelsea’s 1-1 draw at Bolton, has moved the Gunners to the top of the table on goal difference. Thierry Henry was on target twice in the first 20 minutes at Highbury as Arsene Wenger’s team proved to be far too powerful for a limited Pompey. An Edu penalty late on sealed a comfortable win for the new leaders. Bolton matched visiting Chelsea stride for stride in their encounter and took the lead inside 15 minutes through Henrik Pedersen. But their lead lasted barely 5 minutes before Man of the Match Ronaldinho squared the game. The Brazilian is looking increasingly influential in his advanced midfield position now that he is settling into the pace of the English game and with Vieira starting to hit his stride, Chelsea have a strong look about them.

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US ARESENAL - I am running all the English and Russian leagues.

porph - thanks, the Fano tale will continue but I'm a bit distracted with other stories at the moment.

The Daily Mail

Thursday October 7th, 2004

Chelsea Back On Top

With Arsenal losing 3-1 at Spurs in the London derby, a 3-2 win at home to Newcastle was good enough to move Chelsea back to the top of the Premiership. The Blues raced into a three-goal lead at Stamford Bridge but a Shearer-inspired fightback almost got the Magpies back on terms. Didier Drogba scored twice inside the first 20 minutes as Chelsea looked like overwhelming the visitors. Frank Lampard added a 3rd on the hour and the home side were cruising. But when Juri Djerkinov withdrew Ronaldinho and Vieira, Newcastle sensed a glimmer of hope. Shearer stuck on 70 minutes with a trademark near-post header and caused Chelsea pulses to race when he added a second in stoppage time. But it was too little too late from the Geordies and Chelsea were able to hold on for the win.

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US ARSENAL - in game terms I at least two seasons ahead of the story so I can't tell you exactly the tactics I used. As I recall it was based on a 4-4-2 with a standard back four. The midefield had two wingers (Duff & Robben) and the central two had quite different roles. One would fall back to support the defence (Vieira) and the opther would push forward to support the attack (Lampard). I didn't set them out in a diamond though - I used forward and backward arrows and thier individual instructions. I used a single striker (Drogba) with an AM/F pulled slightly back in support (Ronaldinho). It worked really well with the right players as you will see if you keep reading.

The Telegraph

Wednesday October 20th, 2004

Robben Scores In Delayed Debut

Having now seemingly recovered from the broken foot that kept him out of action since his arrival in England, Arjen Robben came off the bench for half an hour in Chelsea’s Champions League game against CSKA Moscow to score the final goal in his team’s 3-0 win. And a welcome win it was too – their first in three attempts in the group, it lifts them into second place behind leaders Celtic. Ronaldinho got the home side off to the perfect start, scoring his 5th goal in 8 games with just 10 minutes on the clock. The Brazilian was a constant threat with his close control and he came close on several occasions before half time without adding to his tally. Damien Duff scored his first of the season 10 minutes after the restart following good work from Fernandes on the right. The young Frenchman was withdrawn shortly afterwards to allow Robben to get a run out and he made an immediate impact, scoring within ten minutes of setting foot on the pitch.

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From the Diary of Yuri Djerkinov

Thursday October 21st, 2004

It is great to see Robben finally getting back into action and, along with Damien Duff, I expect him to be a very dangerous attacking weapon indeed. It was also very important to get our first Champions League win too and I am confident that we are capable of qualifying from our group. Young Misha is becoming a little frustrated that I keep him at my side constantly to translate my instructions and I have the sense that there are other things that he would rather be doing. But I prefer to have him where I can see him so it is as well that he believes that I am genetically incapable of ever speaking any English – I must be careful not to disabuse him of that notion. I also noticed that Abramovich partook in some “hospitality†with a couple of the CSKA delegation. The two men concerned are unknown to me but they certainly did not look like football men to my eye.

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The People

Sunday October 24th, 2004

Late Lampard Strike Breaks Stalemate At Bridge

Chelsea spent the best part of 85 minutes subjecting the Fulham defence to a barrage of attacks, all of which were repelled one way or another. They finally got their reward when Frank Lampard scored with an unstoppable shot from around 25 yards after a lovely knockdown from substitute Kezman. An eight-game unbeaten run had taken Fulham to 3rd place at the start of play yesterday but they found themselves on the back foot from the off and rarely ventured too far forward. In fact Chelsea keeper Petr Cech was a virtual spectator for the full 90 minutes, not having a single save to make. The bad news for the blues was an injury to striker Drogba, a groin strain that will keep him out for a few weeks. Substitute Kezman was also withdrawn late on and it remains to be seen if he will be fit enough for their next game.

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The Mirror

Thursday October 28th, 2004

Ronny Double Kills Off Canaries

It appears that Chelsea manager Yuri Djerkinov doesn’t place too much importance on the League Cup as he made wholesale changes to his team selection for the visit of Norwich in the 3rd round. His second string was still good enough to make most of the running but the Canaries defence held firm for 90 minutes to force extra time. A shortage of fit strikers has forced Chelsea to recall Carlton Cole from his loan deal at Aston Villa and the 21-year-old started up front alongside Eidur Gudjohnson and Arjen Robben was given his first start now that he is back in full training. The introduction of Ronaldinho at the start of the extra half hour made the difference as he scored twice in a minute in the first period to win the game.

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The Sunday Telegraph

Sunday October 31st, 2004

All Square At Anfield

Yesterday’s televised encounter between Liverpool and Chelsea ended honours even in a 1-1 draw, although in terms of possession and chances the visitors probably deserved to take full points. It was first blood to the Reds when Luis Garcia swivelled on a Gerrard pass to fire home into the bottom corner after quarter of an hour. Chelsea pressed hard for an equaliser and got their reward on the stroke of half time when Ronaldinho found the top corner with an exquisite free kick from distance. It was more of the same in the second period but Liverpool did enough to keep the Blues at bay and earn a useful point.

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Decoded Despatch from Agent Sokolov

Monday November 1st, 2004

I am making some progress in my relationship with Miss Brown and although I am gaining her trust it is still far too early to try to compromise her. Yuri Igorevich is settling in very well and is clearly showing some aptitude for the task in hand. He has really cleaned up his act and, to the best of my knowledge, he has not been over-indulging his fondness for Wodka. His biggest problem is that he seems to have absolutely no aptitude for English and this means that I must spend most of my time interpreting for him. This is a mixed blessing as, on the one hand I am always around to ensure that he doesn’t jeopardise the mission but the disadvantage is that it limits the time that I have available to pursue my investigations. As you know we have one Russian player here at Chelsea, Alexei Smertin and the two know each other from their Lokomotiv Moscow days. But I try to limit the amount of time that they spend with one another, as I am concerned that Comrade Djerkinov may get careless and speak out of turn.

Even though I have not been able to access any sensitive financial information yet, it is clear to me that the club is bleeding money. I have ascertained that the weekly wage bill is now over £1M and, according to Miss Brown, their income is just under half of that amount so without the largesse of Abromavich the situation would not be viable. I will continue to investigate this area as a matter of priority. I noticed that when CSKA Moscow visited in the Champions League, Abramovich and his accountant spent several hours in meetings with what I took to be club officials. But the people he met with did not attend the actual match and this aroused my suspicions. I managed to photograph two of them and I will transmit the shots separately so that you can run an ID check.

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The Observer

Thursday November 4th, 2004

Chelsea Resurrect Champions League Campaign

A second successive victory over CSKA Moscow has put Chelsea firmly on course to qualify for the knockout stage of the Champions League. Having had a comfortable win at Stamford Bridge a fortnight ago they followed this up with a vibrant attacking display in Moscow to gain a 2-0 win. The excellent Ronaldinho got them off to a great start with a goal after 6 minutes and Eidur Gujohnsen added a second on the hour mark. A 2-1 win for Celtic at home to Sparta Prague has guaranteed their progression and if Chelsea get one more win, or even just avoid defeat in their final game in Prague, then they will join the Scots in the next round.

<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre">

| -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| Pos | Inf | Team | Pld | Won | Drn | Lst | For | Ag | G.D. | Pts |

| -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 1st | Q | Celtic | 4 | 3 | 1 | 0 | 7 | 2 | +5 | 10 |

| -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 2nd | | Chelsea | 4 | 2 | 1 | 1 | 8 | 5 | +3 | 7 |

| -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 3rd | | Sparta Prague | 4 | 0 | 3 | 1 | 4 | 5 | -1 | 3 |

| -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

| 4th | | CSKA Moscow | 4 | 0 | 1 | 3 | 1 | 8 | -7 | 1 |

| -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

</pre>

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The Sunday Times

Sunday November 7th, 2004

Dominant Chelsea Win Again

A 2-0 win at home to Birmingham maintained Chelsea’s unbeaten Premiership record and were it not for a superb performance by visiting keeper Nico Vaesen the winning margin would have been much greater. The experienced Belgian stopper made some excellent stops in the first half to keep that game scoreless at the break but he could do nothing about Frank Lampard’s opening goal, the midfielder netting with a stunning cross shot from the edge of the area. Substitute Kezman wrapped the game up in stoppage time, tapping in a superb cutback from the brilliant Ronaldinho.

The Sun

Thursday November 11th, 2004

Spurs Dump Chelski Out Of League Cup

A first-half strike from goal ace Jermain Defoe was enough to give his side victory in the all-London League Cup 4th round tie at Stamford Bridge last night. Chelsea manager Yuri Djerkinov made a number of changes to his lineup for this game and the visitors took advantage to book their place in the Quarter Finals.

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Decoded Despatch to Agent Sokolov From Moscow

Tuesday November 16th, 2004

Subject One in recent photographs identified as Vlaidmir “The Impaler†Smirnoff, a known criminal and member of the Russian Mafia. Smirnoff is a vicious and dangerous man and has been implicated in a number of underworld killings. His preferred method of execution is to skewer his victim on a steel or iron rod, usually when the unfortunate individual is still alive. He is not a man to take lightly and we encourage you to proceed with caution. Smirnoff’s whereabouts are currently unknown but we do not believe that he returned to Russia. Subject Two has not been positively identified but is suspected to be Aleksandr Bezushko, a Ukranian associate of Smirnoff who has also been linked to organised crime in the former Soviet republic. Ensure that comrade Titov is fully briefed on this development and that the two of you remain vigilant.

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The Sunday Telegraph

Sunday November 21st, 2004

United Win Old Trafford Goal Fest

Man United triumphed over Chelsea in an exciting encounter at Old Trafford yesterday to inflict the Londoner’s first league defeat of the season. The home side got off to a flying start with goals from Wayne Rooney and Ruud van Nistelrooy inside the first ten minutes. But Chelsea came storming back and were on terms within 15 minutes as first Didier Drogba and then Frank Lampard found the net. The excitement continued after the break when van Nistelrooy scored his second of the match within minutes of the restart. Chelsea spurned a number of excellent scoring chances thereafter with Ronaldinho particularly guilty in front of goal. With Arsenal winning at home to Charlton they replace Chelsea at the top of the Premiership.

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The Daily Mail

Wednesday November 24th, 2004

Drogba Double Takes Chelsea Through

Didier Drogba scored both goals in Chelsea’s 2-1 win at home to Celtic in their Champions League encounter last night to make sure that his team qualified for the knockout stage of the competition. The first came inside quarter of an hour when the big Frenchman was first to reach a Robben cross to head home. The same pair combined in the second half, this time Robben slotting a ball through the middle of the Celtic defence for Drogba to finish neatly. Celtic pulled a goal back through youngster Shaun Maloney but they were unable to force an equaliser and Chelsea hung on for the win.

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The Independent On Sunday

Sunday November 28th, 2004

Rock Bottom Palace Lose Again

Crystal Palace slumped to their 11th defeat in 16 league games and have yet to register a win in the Premiership. They could not have realistically expected to have returned form their London derby at Chelsea with much to show for their efforts but to give them their due they worked hard to get men behind the ball and make life difficult for their hosts. But in the mercurial Ronaldinho, Chelsea have a player with the skills to unlock the most stubborn of defences and he scored twice in each half to give his team a comfortable 2-0 win.

Decoded Despatch from Agent Sokolov

Wednesday December 1st, 2004

I can confirm that subject Smirnoff has not returned to the motherland as I encountered him briefly a few days ago. I had arrived at the training ground early in the morning with comrade Djerkinov to prepare for a tactical session when I saw him leaving. My relationship with Miss Brown is progressing very satisfactorily and I feel that I may be close to obtaining sufficient information to allow me to access the computerised accounting system. I will also take steps to uncover more about the relationship between Abramovich and Smirnoff. My earlier hopes that Djerkinov was in control of his Wodka habit appear to have been premature as he has taken to the bottle with a vengeance recently. But I must report that it has not had a detrimental effect on his work – if anything he is working even more effectively with his players than before.

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