Montenegro? Why on earth would you want to go THERE?

[Gregos]

Hi. My name is Noah Bean. I am a twenty-nine year-old English lawyer. I hate my job.

***

"I'm just sick of it, honey. I'm sick of everything to do with that stupid job. I've earned enough money to set me straight for the time being - I think I'm going to look for something else."

"Well what to expect us to do if you fail? We can't live on my teacher's wages for the rest of our lives!"

"I will find something, Lily. I promise."

"I still think this is a bad idea." I chose to ignore her departing comment, instead opening up my brand new laptop to begin writing my letter of resignation.

I am writing to inform you of my resignation with immediate effect...

***

I sat, head in hands, scrolling down the webpage I was vaguely reading about job opportunities, imagining what would have happened if I had stayed in football.

I was at local club Otley Town for three years until I was nineteen, but then went off to university to study law and after that I had little to no time to even have a kick about. I sighed. I had played at university for a while too, and for one moment I thought my career had taken off when I received a trial at Boston United, my favourite club, after my course had finished. However, the two weeks I was there also turned out to be two of the three weeks leading up to my wedding with Lily, so my mind - and at times, my body - was definitely some place else.

And that was it. I got my "dream job" at a law firm in London and that's where I've been for the past eight years or so. Until last week.

As I reflected on my past, a vague buzzing noise emanated from behind my laptop. I folded down the screen and picked up my brand new Android, looked with surprise at the caller ID, and pushed “Answer”...

-----

This is my second attempt at a story - slightly less ambitious than my other one, I think. I'll try to keep this one going this time around.

Leagues Loaded: (with thanks to leto2626's European Package)

Albania, Bosnia, Bulgaria, Croatia, England, FYR Macedonia, Georgia, Montenegro, Serbia, Slovakia, Slovenia

Large Database

[Gregos]

“Slavis?”

“Noah! How are you, my old friend?” came a voice, heavy with an Eastern European accent. It was Slavis Djurkovic, an old friend of mine who I played football with at university.

“I’m good, actually. Why are you calling?”

“I saw your status on facebook…” It’s amazing how many conversations start that way these days, I mused. “…and saw that you might need a job!”

“Yes…” I replied, still slightly wary of this unexpected call.

“Well, it’s a little bit ambitious, but I was hoping you could help me out here in Montenegro.”

I spluttered for five minutes at least before responding properly to this bizarre request. “Montenegro? Why on earth would I want to go there?”

“I want you to be the manager of my club.”

I choked on air again for what seemed like ten minutes, before responding. “You want me to do what?!”

“Listen, I know it’s a complete change from what you were already doing, but when you and I played at university, you always seemed to have a tactical nous that no-one else seemed to have. Everytime you said certain things were going wrong, we altered them to your suggestions and turned the game around. Now, let’s face it, you were never the best player in the world, but I always thought you’d make a good manager one day.”

“Wow. I don’t know what to say.”

“Of course I’ll give you time to think about it. It’s what, mid-June now? Our pre-season fixtures kick off on the 12th of July, so I guess you have about a week to give me an answer before I go looking for someone else. If you can get here for the beginning of July, you’ll have time to look at the squad and see what kind of changes you need to make.”

“Right…” I said, in a complete daze.

“I’ll call you next weekend. Speak soon.”

[chesterfan2]

Good luck with this Gregos, a good start.

[Gregos]

“Montenegro? Why on earth would you want to go there?” Lily spluttered as I told her about the job I had been offered.

“A fresh start. To do something I love doing.” I replied matter-of-factly.

“But, why Montenegro? You might get blown up or something!”

“Babe, Montenegro isn’t at war any more. I will be safe.”

“And what am I going to do in the process?”

“Come with me…?” I asked, more hopefully than expectantly.

Lily spat. “Ha! And drop everything? I don’t think so. I still have a job and a life over here. I’m not giving all of that up.”

Clearly I had a huge decision to make.

“How often am I going to see you?” she asked, her voice now milder.

“Well, football management is a pretty full time job. But I’ll be able to take holidays should I need them. The chairman is an old friend of mine, he’ll understand.”

“Will I be able to visit?”

“Of course you can! As often as you want.” I smiled, trying to win her over. It seemed to be working.

She sighed. “How much are you getting payed?”

I shifted uncomfortably where I sat. The club I was going to run was an amateur side – as such, I wouldn’t be getting paid at all.

“Enough to keep me going,” I lied. As an ex-lawyer, I was quite good at lying.

She sighed deeply again, before concluding: “Well, if you must go…”

I had convinced one person to let me go. Now I had to convince myself that was I was doing was worthwhile.

[Satio]

That will be tough going, leaving her behind for a life in non-paid football management. Can see where his heart lies. Enjoying the start and wish you luck on your quest to Monetenegro

[Gregos]

“Good afternoon Noah,”

“Hi, Slavis,” I said, nervously.

“Have you considered my offer?”

“Yes.” There was a long pause before anyone spoke. After a while I realized that the ball was in my court.

“I’ll take the job,” I said dramatically. On the other end of the phone I could hear a sigh of relief from the Montenegrin man.

“Excellent! I am so pleased!” he said, with genuine excitement in his voice. “I will email you a package about the history of our club and the league itself for you to print and read on the plane over. I would like to think by the time you get here, you will know more-or-less all there is to know about the club. When will you be arriving?”

“I will book a plane for a week today. That enables me to get all my affairs in order before I go. I should be there on July the 1st.”

“Excellent news. Everyone at the club is looking forward to meeting you.”

[Gregos]

FK Polet Stars Niksic

Background

FK Polet Stars Niksic, or, more affectionately, Polet Stars, are an amateur Montenegrin club currently playing in the Treca Crnogorska Liga – Sjeverni Region.

The club play their home games at the 2000 capacity Polet Stars stadium, which possesses basic corporate facilities, basic training facilities and basic youth facilities and a youth academy.

I was impressed that they had a youth academy.

The club currently charges £1.70 for a ticket and £19.10 for a season ticket at the club. There are currently no season ticket holders.

No season ticket holders. Great. I wondered where on earth the money was going to come from.

The club is valued at £28,000, but currently has a debt worth £490,004.

A huge debt. This job gets better and better.

The club is predicted to finish 8th at the end of the season.

8th. As in, bottom. Great.

History

Polet Stars have no real competition history of note, having just recently been formed. As such, they are a club with a trophy cabinet waiting to be filled.

I hope it wasn’t the trophy cabinet that set them back £400k.

The rest of the leaflet contained further details on the financial state of the club, a short report on the playing staff and the training staff, but I skimmed over these parts, wishing instead to evaluate the team and staff myself when I arrived.

I sat back in my seat, sighed, and shut my eyes. This job looked a lot harder than I had originally anticipated…

[Gregos]

“Welcome to Polet Stars.” Chairman Slavis Djurkovic’s handshake was firm, and despite the formality of the occasion, there was a glint in the young man’s eye which gave away his excitement at seeing his old friend again.

“Thank you very much,” I replied, trying to contain my joy at this reunion.

“I would love to be able to introduce you to the rest of the backroom staff, but unfortunately there are none, so it’s just me.” He grinned, almost mocking the situation that the club was in. “Come into my office.” He beckoned me inside a small, slightly damp room with flaking wallpaper and a strange musky smell to it. I frowned as the odour drifted into my nostrils. “Sorry about the smell.”

“Naturally, as we’re an amateur club, none of us are getting paid. Including you,” Slavis informed me. I could have expected that. “However, we will try and support you in every endeavour during your time at the club.”

“We can arrange a meeting with your staff, but you may well want to bring in your own group of people, so just let me know and I’ll show them out of the door if necessary.”

“The assistant manager has also asked if you would like to arrange a friendly between the current first team and the reserves tomorrow, just to see some of the players in action. I think it would be prudent to do so, as you won’t know many of the faces in the squad.”

I nodded thoughtfully.

“So, most of that is done…” Slavis said, looking down at what appeared to be a checklist on his desk. “Yes… let’s go have a drink!”

[Gregos]

“So tell me,” I said, as we sat down on two rickety chairs in the murky bar of a run-down old building just down the road from the club’s stadium, “How does someone like you, who studied Medicine at university, come to end up running a football club in Montenegro?”

Slavis chuckled. “Well, I became a doctor and naturally earned a fair bit of money, but I was bored. I never had time to play the game I used to love, so I decided to move back home, find a small clinic here and go part-time. This gave me some free time to do all the things I wanted to do but never quite got round to it.”

“Like running a football club?”

“Exactly. This opportunity came quite out of the blue really. A couple of months ago, the former chairman stepped down and left the club with no-one in charge. It was on the verge of collapsing altogether, especially with the substantial debt the club faces at the moment, which, by the way, I have no idea how it accumulated. I decided to step in and save the club, and take over – for the time being, at least. It doesn’t cost me much money as we’re an amateur club – I’m just trying to figure out how on earth to get rid of this debt.”

“It seems like a ridiculous amount of debt for a club this small.” Slavis hummed thoughtfully and took a sip of the suspiciously dark beer we had been served. I changed tack.

“So, honestly, how many of the players are worth keeping here?” Slavis laughed and spluttered out some of the beer, spraying flecks of the stuff all over my shirt. I wiped them off disdainfully and he shot me a look of sincere remorse.

“Few. Jovan Spulnovic is probably worth keeping around, as he’s a lightning fast full back who could cause problems down the wing – sadly he can’t pass or dribble, so that kinda defeats the whole object of a full back.”

“I guess I’ll see them all in training at some point.”

“I don’t blame you if you want to get rid of the lot of ‘em. We’re predicted to finish last, so whatever you do will be an improvement, I’m sure.”

“Ok,” I said cautiously, not wanting to commit myself either way just yet. I sipped my beer – it was rancid, but I couldn’t not drink it – and we began to move into the territory of banter.

Eventually the topic of Lily came up, and I realised that I ought to give her a call.

[Gregos]

July 8th 2009

Lily was fine.

Today I had my first official board meeting with the solitary member of the board, chairman Slavis. While proceedings were formal, we spoke in a very informal kind of way, which made me feel quite comfortable.

“I was thinking about possibly finding a parent club,” I began, and Slavis nodded. “I feel like it might be a good way to acquire players on loan from a bigger club than us.

“I agree.” Slavis said, simply.

“I also think we ought to try to improve our youth facilities, but I guess we don’t have the money for that.”

“You guess correctly,” Slavis smiled wryly. “But I will be sure to consider that if and when we get in the black.”

“I’ve also decided to bring in my own staff team. As such, I’d like you to terminate the contracts of the four men we have currently with immediate effect.”

“I will do so,” Slavis said nonchalantly.

“Aside from that, we have the friendly later on today, and I have a press conference in about an hour. Lord knows who’s actually going to turn up to that.”

“You’d be surprised,” Slavis said, before concluding their meeting. “I think you’re just what this club needs, old friend.” I smiled, shook his hand for what must have been the millionth time in the past two days, and departed his smelly office.

[Makonnen]

Nice start, looking forward to finding out more about the Black Mountains ...

[Gregos]

“You sit here having been the surprise appointment as manager of Polet Stars. Is this your dream job?”

Miodrag Djukic from the Niksic Football Gazette was the only person at the press conference. This could prove to be jolly.

“I wouldn’t say it’s a dream, but it’s great to be given the opportunity to work here.”

“You’re English, and so you cannot speak Serbian or Montenegrin. Will that be a problem?”

“I don’t think so, I’d hope the players have enough English to be able to understand me, and I should be able to pick the language up fairly quickly if I immerse myself enough.”

“What will your approach to the game be?”

“I will evaluate the players in the squad and play a game which is suited to their abilities.”

”How involved to you intend to be with the everyday running of the club?”

“As involved as possible. I am good friends with the Chairman and so he and I will be looking forward to working closely together.”

”What do you think of the players at the club?

“I haven’t actually seen them train yet, so I’m not really close to making any decisions as to their futures yet.

”This suggests you might have confidence in your players. Which area of the side do you feel is strongest?”

“I didn’t say that, I said I haven’t had the opportunity to see them play yet.”

”The public will want to hear a proper answer from you…”

“Well, I need more time to assess the team.”

”Your club seems a little short-staffed. Will you be bringing in some new faces?”

“Of course, I am already advertising in newspapers for vacancies in every position.”

”Thank you for your time.”

“I look forward to my tenure at the club.”

[Gregos]

July 8th 2009

Polet Stars 2-0 Polet Stars U21s

As the fans rolled into the stadium, (or rather, as a total of zero fans rolled into the stadium), so too did my new coach, all-rounder and man management expert Petar Gusic.

The game between the two club sides was dreary. I saw very little spark or initiative until the end of the game. Adis Spahic seized on an error to finish powerfully in the top corner, and Dusko Rajkovic showed some skill to take the ball past a defender and blasted the ball into the top corner. There was some good passing from Admir Vico, but his game was ruined when he screwed a penalty way, way wide.

After the game I went home unimpressed by the side. There seemed to be very few players who could actually pass the ball without falling over, and despite Vico’s good game, I was disappointed to see him miss a penalty. Clearly, there was a lot of work to be done.

[Gregos]

July 12th 2009

Slaivs called me in for an emergency board meeting in the morning before the club’s first proper friendly against Podgorica this afternoon.

“Bad news, Noah. Receivers have been brought in to try to sort out our financial problems. The decision was out of my control. This doesn’t really affect the club hugely, as we had no transfer budget or wage budget due to our amateur status, but it may lead to a points deduction somewhere down the line this season. I understand this makes your job just that little bit harder, but I have full faith in you.”

I departed silently, pondering on the club’s situation, before moving on to thoughts on the friendly later in the day.

We were playing Podgorica away, who were in a league on the same level as ourselves. This was our first chance to see just how good the squad I had inherited was. I wasn’t expecting much.

[tenthreeleader]

Gregos, this is an engaging read. You're doing well and I will be checking in. Love these lower league teams with no money!

[Gregos]

July 12th 2009

Podgorica 2-2 Polet Stars

We surrendered a 2 goal lead in the capital and left slightly disappointed that we had only managed a draw.

Some great passing play between Ivan Karanovic and Petar Samolovac led to the first goal of the game, Karanovic slotting cooly home for the opener. A mazy run from Karanovic led to a penalty being given away by the side from the capital, and Igor Knezevic drilled it home for our second.

A useless throw-in led to the home side getting a goal back just before half time, and they fought hard for the equaliser, eventually scoring a screamer with 20 minutes to go. We played well towards the end of the game, but couldn’t work the ball into the box, and our long shots were dire.

Overall I was fairly happy, but still unimpressed by the majority of our players. As soon as I have hired an AssMan, we’ll see to a clear out.

[Gregos]

July 14th 2009

Polet Stars 0-2 Ribnica

Dreadful marking led to their opener and they scored a second not long afterwards to record my first loss as manager. There are plenty more friendlies to go yet.

July 21st 2009

I scheduled a meeting with the backroom staff today, including Slavis and newly recruited scout Sasa Bojovic, and we talked through a few issues with the players:

“First things first,” said Slavis, “A club in our tier have made an offer for Milan Djordjevic, and because of the receivership we’re under at the moment, we have no choice but to accept the offer. As it stands, it doesn’t affect us much as they’re all under amateur contracts and as such can leave whenever they wish, but I thought it would be prudent to inform you.”

“I think it would be ok,” spoke coach Petar Gusic in jilted English, “If Jovan Spulnovic train short pass. He can no pass, so better when he pass short.”

“Ok, I disagree for now – I’d prefer to leave specialist move teaching until I have built the squad I want.”

“Fair enough.”

“I have CVs for Assistant Manager and Physio who have declared interest in job,” said Sasa Bojovic. “I think they look ok.” I took the CVs from him and looked at them briefly, before nodding.

“Thanks, I’ll take a look at them later,” I lied – the resumes didn’t impress me.

“I think that’s most things covered, it’s been a quiet week. Unlucky for the friendly, Noah, but it’s early days yet.” Slavis concluded.

[Gregos]

July 21st 2009

Quite an impressive recruitment for the club occurred today – the physio for the national team of Serbia has signed as a physio for us, and I am impressed with his abilities. Miodrag Mladenovic should slot in well with the rest of the club.

July 22nd 2009

Blue Star 0-0 Polet Stars

Our third friendly of the season was a dour affair, with little to nothing happening in the entire game, and I was thoroughly unimpressed by the entire team.