An Impossible Man

[CFuller]

3 minutes ago, mark wilson27 said:

Just nearly spat my drink all over my laptop 

I'll pay for a new one. 

[CFuller]

***

 

Following their acrimonious divorce in 2007, Mark Catterall did not expect to meet his first wife Kat Allen again 11 years later - and certainly not at a football match.

 

However, on the evening of Tuesday 28 August 2018, Mark drove up from his home in Staffordshire to the Cheshire town of Widnes for a surprise reunion. He'd been told to go to the Select Security Stadium, and the only other snippet of information Kat had given him beforehand was that their daughter Ashley - now 17 years old - was about to play in her first professional game.

 

The match in question was Liverpool Ladies vs Birmingham City Ladies, on the opening week of the new FA Women's Super League season.

 

Heavy rush-hour traffic on the M6 meant that Mark turned up 15 minutes late for kick-off. Kat texted him instructions to meet her in the Main Stand, where the former couple set eyes on each other for the first time in over a decade.

 

"Mark, I'm so glad to see you!" Kat beamed. "I knew you'd keep your word."

 

Mark smiled, "It's been a long time, ain't it?" Kat offered a hug, but Mark offered a handshake instead.

 

Mark then perused the match programme he'd bought, asking Kat, "Liverpool vs Birmingham - I'm guessing Ashley's playing for the home team."

 

"That's right, yep," Kat nodded.

 

"I'm surprised she grew up to be a footballer, to be honest. She was never into it before we..."

 

"Yeah, I never really liked football, as you know. But her step-dad's a season-ticket holder at Anfield... so she just fell into it, really."

 

"You remarried, then?"

 

"Seven years ago. His name's Craig, and he's a personal trainer. Craig dotes on Ash like she's his own daughter."

 

"And is Craig here or what?"

 

"He's at home, actually, looking after our little girl. Nicola, her name is. She's five."

 

"Yeah, I've found someone else as well. Met her not long after we split, actually. We've got a 10-year-old boy - he's visually impaired, but he's a great kid."

 

"Oh, you've got a disabled kid, eh? I've got a nephew who's deaf, and that's obviously not the same thing, but... yeah, I can relate."

 

Mark was now looking out onto the pitch, looking for his daughter. When he came across a red-shirted mixed-raced girl named Allen who was playing in defence, he called out, "COME ON, ASHLEY!"

 

"That's not her," Kat corrected him. "Ashleigh Allen's a different player. Our Ashley uses her stepdad's surname."

 

"Ah, I see. I was wondering why her name was spelt differently in the programme. Now where IS our girl, then?"

 

Just as Mark was finishing that last sentence, he spotted Liverpool's number 19 - Minton - running onto a through-ball from one of her team-mates. She then went clean through before stroking the ball past the onrushing Birmingham goalkeeper.

 

The stadium announcer then called out, "That's a goal for Liverpool Ladies from number 19… Ashley Minton!"

 

"THAT'S our girl!" Kat laughed. "A goal on her Liverpool debut!"

 

"So Ashley's a striker, then?" Mark asked her.

 

"Attacking midfielder, actually. She's nothing like the player you were."

 

Ten minutes after that goal, Ashley was on target again, heading home a rebound shot after Liverpool captain Gemma Bonner had hit the crossbar.

 

Ashley wasn't finished there, though. Early in the second half, she curled in a wicked shot from the edge of the area to round off her professional debut with a hat-trick.

 

An ecstatic Kat beamed, "Three goals! She definitely don't take after you, does she?"

 

"Hey, I scored a few goals in my time!" Mark pointed out. "I even got three for England, don't you remember?"

 

"Yeah, but how many goals did you score by the time you were Ashley's age, eh?"

 

"I hadn't even played for Manchester City reserves by the time I was 17!"

 

"I'm guessing you weren't in the England Under-19s squad, then. Ashley is. She could make her debut next month."

 

"I'll try to catch that if I can. Just let me know nearer the time, and I'll see what I can do."

 

Thanks to Ashley Minton's hat-trick, Liverpool eventually ran out 5-0 winners. After the match finished, Mark waited outside the stadium to see if he could have a quick word with his daughter.

 

About 20 minutes after full-time, Ashley and her team-mates - now showered and changed - emerged from the stadium entrance. Upon spotting Mark, Ashley told a colleague, "I'll catch up with you later, Laura," and then rushed over to hug her emotional father.

 

"Dad? I never thought you'd be here!" Although Ashley had been born near Sunderland to a Lancastrian father, her accent was unequivocally Scouse.

 

"I've missed you so much," Mark said, his voice breaking. "I'm so sorry I let you and your mother down."

 

"I really, really hated you at the time. But no matter what you've done, at the end of the day, you'll always be my dad."

 

Mark then stepped back, wiped away some tears from his face, and recomposed himself enough to ask, "So... how've you been?"

 

"I'm good," Ashley smiled. "Obviously, I'm delighted. I've just scored a hat-trick on my Liverpool debut, so why wouldn't I be?"

 

"I never thought you'd grow up to be a footballer, but Mum was saying her new partner got you into it."

 

"Yeah, Craig's a great guy. He's a real hard-worker, and he loves me and Mum… and Nicola. Did Mum mention that I've got a half-sister?"

 

"Yeah, she did."

 

"And what about you, Dad? How's life been for you?"

 

"It's great. I'm remarried as well. I met someone a few months after the divorce, and now we have a son."

 

Mark then brought out his phone and showed Ashley a photograph of Luke. "Aww, he looks so cute," she cooed.

 

"That's Luke. He's blind, but I'm sure he'd love to meet you someday."

 

A voice from the Liverpool team coach then screamed, "COME ON, ASH! Get a move on!"

 

"I'm… I'm sorry, Dad," Ashley stuttered. "I've got to go. But we should meet again soon, eh?"

 

"Alright, we'll do that," Mark replied as he gave his daughter another hug. "Mum's gonna let me know if and when you play for England, and I'll try to be there."

 

"Thank you," Ashley smiled. She then boarded the coach, though not before turning back to say to her dad. "Ta-ra, Dad. Take care."

[CFuller]

Quote

NOTE: Some facts in the following post have been changed for artistic reasons.

In addition, this is the first time that Ray Wilkins is mentioned in the story since he passed away earlier this month. Rest in peace, Butch.

***

 

After his emotional reunion with his ex-wife Kat and daughter Ashley, Mark Catterall spent Tuesday night at a hotel in Widnes. He returned to Staffordshire the following morning for another day's work at St George's Park.

 

Mark was back at home later on Wednesday evening for dinner with his wife Jenny and son Luke.

 

"How'd it go, Mark?" Jenny asked, intrigued about Mark's meeting.

 

"It was great," Mark replied, understated as usual. He then challenged Jenny and Luke, "Guess what Ashley does now."

 

Luke asked, "Is she a painter, like that Bob Ross guy you're really into?"

 

"Even better, Luke. She plays football, for Liverpool Ladies."

 

Luke seemed perplexed at Mark's revelation. "Girls play football as well?"

 

"Of course, they do. Don't you remember the Women's World Cup, from three years ago?"

 

"I don't remember that. I was, like, seven."

 

Jenny asked, "So that's why Kat wanted to meet you, is it? To watch Ashley play football?"

 

Mark nodded, and Jenny chimed in with a follow-up question, "How good is she?"

 

"She's fantastic, Jen," Mark said. "She scored three goals on her Liverpool debut, from midfield! The girl's got more attacking talent than I ever had, that's for sure."

 

Luke couldn't contain his excitement. "That's amazing!"

 

Jenny then asked Mark, "And did you get to meet her?"

 

"Yeah, I did - after the game. Ashley was surprised to see me, obviously, but she was so chuffed. We got talking for a while, and then she had to go back home."

 

"So when can we meet her, Dad?" asked Luke.

 

"I'm not sure yet. I think we really need to get to know each other again before I introduce you and Mum to Ashley."

 

"I see," Jenny nodded. "And how was work today?"

 

"It was a busy day, to be fair. I finished drawing up the Under-19s and Under-21s squads for next month's games. I just need to finalise the senior squad tomorrow morning, and then we can announce everything in the afternoon."

 

"And what about that new coach you've been going on about? Finally decided on one yet?"

 

"Yes, we have. As a matter of fact, he signed his contract today. And that reminds me... I need to phone Glenn later tonight to talk to him about it."

 

With Ray Wilkins having retired after the 2018 FIFA World Cup, Mark had spent several weeks identifying a new defensive coach for the England senior team. Several high-profile names had been approached for their services, but the manager didn't have much joy in persuading them to join his set-up.

 

Catterall's number one choice was Gary Neville, who was capped 85 times by England and was also part of Roy Hodgson's coaching set-up during the latter's reign as manager. Neville rejected his offer, as the former Sky Sports pundit was content in his current job at Fulham, where he had served as assistant head coach to ex-Manchester United team-mate Ryan Giggs since January.

 

Gary's brother Phil was also unavailable. The occasional BBC analyst had just agreed to become manager of the England women's team, replacing Mark Sampson, who had been removed from his post earlier in the year amid serious allegations regarding his professional conduct. The younger Neville was contracted to lead the Lionesses to the FIFA Women's World Cup finals in France the following summer.

 

Another iconic defender from the late 1990s and early 2000s - ex-Arsenal skipper Sol Campbell - said that he would be happy to join Catterall's set-up, "but only if he asked me". Catterall did not, prompting Campbell to publicly complain that the FA was "still fundamentally racist" and "unwilling to work with black coaches".

 

Of course, Campbell's last statement could not be further from the truth. After all, Ledley King had been promoted to head coach of the Under-19s team just a few weeks earlier.

 

A host of other candidates turned down offers to join the England first-team. Indeed, Catterall briefly contemplated promoting Colin Cooper - a former Middlesbrough and Nottingham Forest defender who won two international caps in 1995 - from the Under-21s set-up to the senior side. Eventually, though, Catts got his man.

 

On the evening before he was due to announce his latest England squads, Catterall phoned up his tactical coach - and mentor - Glenn Hoddle to reveal all.

 

Catterall began, "Hi, Glenn. I'm just letting you know that I've brought in a new coach to replace Butch."

 

Hoddle replied, "Okay, that's great... but have you heard the news about Ray?"

 

"I've heard nothing since he quit. What's up?"

 

"He went into hospital last night. Chest infection, apparently."

 

Catterall groaned, "Jesus, that's not good news. I hope he pulls through, obviously."

 

"To be honest, Catts, I fear Butch is not long for this world. The past few years - and the past few months especially - have been really tough on him."

 

"I wouldn't exactly be feeling great if my brother was in a nasty car accident either. How's Dean, by the way?"

 

"He's on the mend, thankfully," Hoddle said. "Now... you were talking about a new coach?"

 

"I'll get straight to it. It's Warren Joyce."

 

"Who?"

 

"Warren Joyce. He used to manage Manchester United Reserves and Wigan Athletic." Catterall neglected to mention that Joyce's time at Wigan had ended with him being sacked on Valentine's Day 2017, with the Latics battling to avoid relegation from the Championship. He also didn't disclose that Joyce hadn't been employed since then.

 

"No, I can't say I recognise the name."

 

"I think you do know him. He was a midfielder in the 80s and 90s. He played for a load of great clubs - Bolton, Preston, Plymouth, Burnley, Hull..."

 

Hoddle still couldn't figure out who Joyce was. He asked, "Should I remember him? Did I have him in my England squad once?"

 

"No, you didn't."

 

"Did Graham Taylor call him up at some point? There was a time in the mid-1990s when anyone who could kick a ball straight was good enough to play for England."

 

"No, Glenn. Warren never played for England - not for the seniors, not for the Under-21s, not for the women's team, not for ANY England team."

 

"But I thought you only wanted former England players in your coaching team."

 

"I never said that, though, did I? As far as my coaching set-up is concerned, international experience is useful, but not required."

 

Hoddle hesitated, "Lemme just check something." A few moments later, he returned, saying, "I've just been on Wikipedia. He's another bloody Mancunian! Is that why you've hired him?"

 

"No, Glenn. I don't pick my staff based on where they come from. I'm not bloomin' David Cameron, you know!"

 

"Really? You're a Manc, Mick Burke's a Manc, Platt's a Manc..."

 

Catterall intervened by pointing out, "Tim Flowers is from the Midlands."

 

"Since when has anybody cared about Tim Flowers? My point is... I'm the only Londoner left, now that Butch has gone. I'm starting to feel that you're building some sort of... northern mafia."

 

Catterall reassured Hoddle, "I'm not building a 'northern mafia', Glenn. It's just coincidence, that's all. You know that I always appoint my staff on merit. Anyway, that's why I brought you back to the FA in the first place."

 

"It's okay, Mark. Maybe I was just overreacting. I've not been in a good mood all day, not since some nutter on Twitter told me that 'Diamond Lights' was s***. Another guy wrote that me and [Chris] Waddle were like... Midge Ure without the charm and Cliff Richard without the cheese."

 

"Yeah, they might be onto something."

 

"Pardon?"

 

"Nothing! Anyway... I'd best hang up now, else Jenny will have a go at me for being on my phone too long..."

 

"Hold up. Just before you go... I think there's something you should know. You're a big fan of toasters, ain't you? Was you aware that Warren Joyce invented the world's first portable toaster?"

 

"Don't believe everything you read on Wikipedia, Glenn. See you next week."

[CFuller]

Chapter 22 - Three Is The Magic Number

 

England's stock on the footballing stage was as high as it had been for many decades. The Three Lions had finished 3rd at the 2018 FIFA World Cup, with victories over the likes of Uruguay, Switzerland and Chile elevating them to a similarly high world ranking. This was the first time that England had been ranked in the top three by FIFA since last reaching their peak in August 2012 - and on this occasion, that lofty position did not seem false.

 

World Cup winners Belgium and heavily-beaten runners-up France were the only two teams above England in the rankings. Ironically, the Young Lions' first competitive match since the global finals would be in Saint-Denis on 11 September, as part of the newly-introduced UEFA Nations League.

 

Many had speculated that England's World Cup exploits would spark interest in some of their star players. As it transpired, Gary Cahill would be the only member of their 23-man squad from Russia 2018 to move clubs in the summer. The 32-year-old centre-back had ended a six-and-a-half-year stint at Chelsea and was now enjoying a fresh start with Russian Premier League giants CSKA Moscow.

 

After his international breakthrough, Newcastle United left-winger Rolando Aarons was strongly linked with a move to Everton, though that did not materialise. The 22-year-old stayed at St James' Park, and he would have to stay firmly grounded. Newcastle manager David Wagner had warned Aarons that his starting place could not be taken for granted after signing Josh Murphy - another left-footed English wideman - from Norwich City for £9.75million.

 

Everton did bring in versatile defender Calum Chambers - already capped six times at the age of 23 - after agreeing a cut-price £3million fee with Arsenal. Amusingly, the Toffees also re-signed Under-21s right-back Mason Holgate from Stoke City, less than a year after selling him to the Potters!

 

Arsenal's injury-plagued striker Danny Welbeck - who had not yet featured for England since Mark Catterall became manager - was picked up on a season-long loan by Monaco. Enigmatic winger Theo Walcott was now back at the Emirates Stadium after spending the previous season at Villarreal, though he wasn't part of Rafa Benítez's squad for the first two matches of the new Premier League campaign.

 

A couple of Under-21s internationals at major clubs got loan moves to other PL teams as they looked to build up their top-flight experience. Among them was Chelsea striker Tammy Abraham, who returned to Reading for a second successive season after his 13 goals in the previous campaign had helped the Royals secure promotion from the Championship.

 

There were also high hopes for 20-year-old Manchester United defender Axel Tuanzebe. The Congolese-born centre-half had been almost ever-present for Blackburn Rovers in the Championship the previous season, and he had been sent out on loan again by José Mourinho. This time, he was gaining his first experience of top-flight football with Stoke City.

 

United's brightest young hope was, of course, still Marcus Rashford. The previous campaign had been somewhat underwhelming for Rashford, who'd merely notched up eight goals and one assist in 21 appearances, compared to his 2016/2017 haul of 12 goals and six assists in 35 matches.

 

It was expected that the 20-year-old wonderkid would finally emerge as a regular starter at Old Trafford this term and break back into the England senior side. However, Rashford now had to contend with Robert Lewandowski - a £56million summer purchase from Bayern Munich - as well as the evergreen Zlatan Ibrahimovic for the right to lead the defending PL champions' frontline.

 

Rashford was having difficulty in trying to dislodge elite strikers, but Callum Wilson wasn't having those problems anymore at Chelsea. Diego Costa was long gone from Stamford Bridge (and now playing for Arsenal, funnily enough!), so 26-year-old Wilson was placed firmly at the heart of Antonio Conte's attacking plans. He scored four goals in his first two matches of the new campaign, including a hat-trick at home to Watford.

 

While Wilson had regained his self-belief, Harry Kane appeared to have lost his. Struggling to come down from the high of picking up a World Cup bronze medal, Kane failed to score in pre-season for Tottenham Hotspur and fired more blanks in their opening Premier League fixtures. His haul of 19 league goals from 2017/2018 was eight fewer than in the title-winning 2016/2017 campaign, and some Spurs fans were perhaps fearing that their homegrown hero had 'hit the wall'.

 

Suffering an even greater setback was Stoke striker Saido Berahino, who had won his first two England caps earlier in the year. Berahino had damaged his achilles tendon in the Potters' first PL match at Norwich and would be out of contention until at least the start of 2019.

 

Adam Lallana would also be absent from England's next two internationals. Liverpool's 30-year-old attacking midfielder - who was just two shy of a half-century of international caps - sustained a sports hernia late in August, thus ending his run of being present in every England squad under Catterall.

 

Catterall now had to finalise his squad for the forthcoming matches - a warm-up friendly in Austria on 7 September, followed four days later by the Three Lions' opening Nations League fixture at the Stade de France.

 

The England boss also had to name an Under-21s squad for the upcoming European Championship qualifiers at home to Albania and away to Scotland. The Young Lions couldn't afford to slip up in either match if they were to have any realistic chance of snatching top spot in their group from France.

 

As for the Under-19s, they had a couple of friendly matches to look forward to before starting their European Championship qualifying campaign in October. New head coach Ledley King would take his teenage starlets to Bosnia & Herzegovina, and then to France.

 

ENGLAND squad - for matches vs Austria (A) and France (A)

NAME                      POSITIONS           D.O.B. (AGE)     CLUB            CAPS  GOALS HEIGHT WEIGHT     VALUE
Jack Butland              GK                  10/03/1993 (25)  Stoke           8     0     6'5"   14st 13lbs £20M    
Fraser Forster            GK                  17/03/1988 (30)  Southampton     10    0     6'7"   15st 8lbs  £11.5M  
Joe Hart                  GK                  19/04/1987 (31)  Man City        83    0     6'5"   12st 10lbs £8.5M   
Phil Jones                D (RC)              21/02/1992 (26)  Man Utd         26    0     6'1"   11st 4lbs  £16M    
Michael Keane             D (RC)              11/01/1993 (25)  Man City        17    0     6'1"   13st 3lbs  £30M    
John Stones               D (RC)              28/05/1994 (24)  Man City        28    1     6'2"   12st 1lb   £35M    
Eric Dier                 D (RC), DM, M (C)   15/01/1994 (24)  Tottenham       33    4     6'2"   13st 7lbs  £33M    
Gary Cahill               D (C)               19/12/1985 (32)  CSKA Moscow     61    3     6'4"   13st 7lbs  £1.2M   
Nathaniel Clyne           D/WB (R)            05/04/1991 (27)  Liverpool       31    0     5'9"   10st 7lbs  £12.25M 
Kyle Walker               D/WB (R)            28/05/1990 (28)  Tottenham       33    0     6'0"   11st 6lbs  £20.5M  
Luke Shaw                 D/WB (L)            12/07/1995 (23)  Man Utd         22    1     6'1"   11st 11lbs £23M    
Danny Rose                D/WB/M (L)          02/07/1990 (28)  Tottenham       22    2     5'8"   11st 6lbs  £22M    
Jordan Henderson          DM, M (C)           17/06/1990 (28)  Liverpool       51    1     6'0"   10st 7lbs  £21M    
Danny Drinkwater          M (C)               05/03/1990 (28)  Leicester       19    0     5'10"  11st 0lbs  £13.5M  
Rolando Aarons            M/AM (RL)           16/11/1995 (22)  Newcastle       9     3     5'9"   10st 5lbs  £13.75M 
Demarai Gray              M/AM (RL)           28/06/1996 (22)  Leicester       13    2     5'10"  11st 13lbs £15M    
Nathan Redmond            M/AM (RL), ST (C)   06/03/1994 (24)  Southampton     8     3     5'8"   11st 6lbs  £25M    
Dele Alli                 M/AM (C)            11/04/1996 (22)  Tottenham       36    5     6'1"   12st 1lb   £34.5M  
Ross Barkley              M/AM (C)            05/12/1993 (24)  Everton         23    2     6'2"   11st 13lbs £21M    
Jack Wilshere             M/AM (C)            01/01/1992 (26)  Arsenal         53    9     5'9"   10st 3lbs  £27.5M  
Jamie Vardy               AM (C), ST (C)      11/01/1987 (31)  Leicester       16    5     5'10"  11st 11lbs £7.25M  
Harry Kane                ST (C)              28/07/1993 (25)  Tottenham       36    14    6'3"   13st 0lbs  £35M    
Callum Wilson             ST (C)              27/02/1992 (26)  Chelsea         20    5     5'11"  10st 7lbs  £33.5M  

 

Catterall had largely stayed true to his World Cup heroes, retaining all but two of them for the start of this new tournament cycle. Adam Lallana was of course unavailable, while his Liverpool colleague Daniel Sturridge was also dropped after falling out of favour with Reds boss Roberto Mancini.

 

Sturridge's axing meant another chance for Jamie Vardy to rejuvenate his England career. The 31-year-old forward had reacted angrily to being dropped from Catterall's preliminary squad for the World Cup, but he was reinstated after an excellent start to the new season. In Leicester City's 3-1 opening-day win against Liverpool, Vardy had scored the second goal in between assists for countryman Demarai Gray and Venezuela midfielder Juanpi.

 

Everton's attacking midfielder Ross Barkley had also worked his way back into the international fold, courtesy of a man-of-the-match display at Huddersfield Town. The mercurial Liverpudlian had only featured once previously under Catterall, but he would relish the chance to challenge the in-form Jack Wilshere for a starting place.

 

The England boss was pleased to see vice-captain Joe Hart re-establish himself as Manchester City's first-choice goalkeeper. City manager Pep Guardiola had favoured Claudio Bravo at the Etihad Stadium over the last two seasons, but the 35-year-old Chilean was on the wane, certainly if his display in the World Cup 3rd Place Play-Off was anything to go by. Hart featured in four of the Citizens' first five matches this season, keeping clean sheets in all of them.

 

Meanwhile, enigmatic winger Raheem Sterling remained out of favour with both Guardiola and Catterall. Sterling's agent Aidy Ward had spent most of the summer unsuccessfully trying to negotiate a move to Bayern Munich or Real Madrid, but then backtracked by saying, "Raheem is still 110% committed to City and wants to fight for his first-team place. If he can't get it back... well, there's always Barcelona in January, I suppose."

 

ENGLAND UNDER-21s squad - for matches vs Albania (H) and Scotland (A)

NAME                      POSITIONS           D.O.B. (AGE)     CLUB            CAPS  GOALS HEIGHT WEIGHT     VALUE
Bailey Peacock-Farrell    GK                  29/10/1996 (21)  Leeds           3     0     6'2"   11st 11lbs £235K   
Ted Smith                 GK                  18/01/1996 (22)  Southend        2     0     6'1"   13st 5lbs  £425K   
Freddie Woodman           GK                  04/03/1997 (21)  Newcastle       6     0     6'1"   10st 12lbs £1.4M   
Joe Gomez                 D (RLC)             23/05/1997 (21)  West Ham        20    1     6'2"   13st 7lbs  £7.5M   
Mason Holgate             D (RC)              22/10/1996 (21)  Everton         14    0     5'11"  11st 13lbs £23M    
Joe Rankin-Costello       D (RC), M/AM (RLC)  26/07/1999 (19)  Swansea         0     0     5'10"  11st 2lbs  £6.75M  
Ben Chilwell              D (LC), WB (L)      21/12/1996 (21)  Leicester       16    0     5'10"  12st 1lb   £7M     
Brendan Galloway          D (LC), DM          17/03/1996 (22)  Everton         16    1     6'2"   14st 0lbs  £9.75M  
Axel Tuanzebe             D (C)               14/11/1997 (20)  Stoke           4     1     6'0"   12st 6lbs  £3.8M   
Ezri Konsa                D (C), DM, M (C)    23/10/1997 (20)  Huddersfield    0     0     6'1"   12st 3lbs  £625K   
Trent Alexander-Arnold    D/WB (R), DM        07/10/1998 (19)  Sheff Wed       4     0     5'6"   9st 6lbs   £925K   
Josh Tymon                D/WB (L)            22/05/1999 (19)  West Ham        0     0     5'8"   10st 12lbs £8.5M   
Ainsley Maitland-Niles    DM, M (RC), AM (R)  29/08/1997 (21)  Wolves          2     0     5'10"  11st 4lbs  £2.8M   
Lewis Cook                DM, M (C)           03/02/1997 (21)  Bournemouth     6     0     5'9"   11st 2lbs  £9.5M   
Tom Davies                DM, M (C)           30/06/1998 (20)  Everton         7     2     5'10"  11st 0lbs  £4.1M   
Ruben Loftus-Cheek        DM, M/AM (C)        23/01/1996 (22)  Chelsea         30    7     6'3"   13st 7lbs  £4.1M   
Patrick Roberts           M (RL), AM (RLC)    05/02/1997 (21)  Leicester       15    4     5'6"   9st 1lb    £16.5M  
Reiss Nelson              M (L), AM (RL)      10/12/1999 (18)  Ipswich         0     0     5'9"   11st 2lbs  £3.2M   
Sheyi Ojo                 M (L), AM (RLC)     19/06/1997 (21)  Leeds           3     0     6'1"   9st 12lbs  £10.75M 
Joshua Onomah             M/AM (C)            27/04/1997 (21)  Tottenham       10    4     6'0"   12st 10lbs £5.5M   
Tammy Abraham             AM (R), ST (C)      02/10/1997 (20)  Reading         20    9     6'4"   12st 12lbs £6.5M   
Marcus Rashford           AM (L), ST (C)      31/10/1997 (20)  Man Utd         19    22    5'11"  11st 9lbs  £30.5M  
Eddie Nketiah             ST (C)              30/05/1999 (19)  MK Dons         0     0     5'10"  11st 4lbs  £1.7M   

 

Catterall promoted four players who'd reached the Semi Finals of the recent European Under-19s Championship into the Under-21s set-up. West Ham United left-back Josh Tymon and the on-loan Arsenal trio of Reiss Nelson, Eddie Nketiah and Joe Rankin-Costello had all played regular Championship football since then, and plenty would be expected of them over the coming years.

 

The fifth potential debutant in this Under-21s squad was young AFC Bournemouth centre-back Ezri Konsa. The cool-headed Londoner had been loaned out to Premier League rivals Huddersfield Town and featured as a substitute in each of their first two league matches this term.

 

There were few surprises in the squad, other than perhaps the exclusion of Chelsea playmaker Kasey Palmer and Southampton forward Josh Sims. Winger Andre Green missed out after tearing his ankle ligaments in pre-season training for his new club Burnley, but Newcastle United goalkeeper Freddie Woodman was reinstated following his injury problems in March.

 

ENGLAND UNDER-19s squad - for matches vs Bosnia & Herzegovina (A) and France (A)

GOALKEEPERS: Terry Cowling (Leeds), Steve Hilton (Liverpool), Josh Vokes (Tottenham)

DEFENDERS: Ted Lapslie (Arsenal), Joel Latibeaudiere (Motherwell), Daniel Marshall (Stoke), Adam Mingay (West Brom), Alistair Rattray (Peterborough), Ryan Sessegnon (Man City), Peter Turner (Chelsea), Joe Wright (Liverpool)

MIDFIELDERS: Charles Ameobi (Arsenal), Neil Campbell (Wolves), Alfie Davidson (Leicester), Morgan Gibbs-White (Leicester), John Harrison (Liverpool), Aaron Morley (Hibernian), Tashan Oakley-Boothe (Tottenham), Jadon Sancho (Man City), Stuart White (Man Utd)

FORWARDS: Danny Loader (Reading), Reece Nicholls (Chelsea), Lawrence Warner (Liverpool)

 

The England Under-19s squad for these two warm-up friendlies contained six survivors from the side that had played in the European finals earlier that summer. Terry Cowling, Steve Hilton, Alistair Rattray, Ryan Sessegnon, Peter Turner and Lawrence Warner were all ready to go again and make amends for their Semi Final defeat to Serbia.

 

There were a few other returning Young Lions, including Wolverhampton Wanderers' very promising midfielder Neil Campbell. Two other prospects from the West Midlands - centre-half Adam Mingay and playmaker Morgan Gibbs-White - were also back in the team.

 

Seven newcomers were selected in all, and among them were a couple of very exciting attacking prospects. 17-year-old left-winger Charles Ameobi had joined Arsenal from Fulham for £2.2million earlier in the year. Manchester United's attacking midfielder Stuart White, also aged 17, had scored a 90th-minute winner in the season-opening Community Shield against bitter rivals Manchester City.

[CFuller]

***

 

The first full week of September 2018 marked the start of a brand-new tournament cycle. Two months on from their successful campaign in Russia, the England team were back at St George's Park, and ready to pursue a new challenge.

 

The Three Lions would be based at their home training ground for a couple of days before flying out to Vienna, where they would face Austria on 7 September in their first match since the FIFA World Cup. That friendly international would serve as a warm-up for a sterner test against France in the UEFA Nations League four days later.

 

Before his players arrived for training, England manager Mark Catterall introduced his coaches to their newest colleague.

 

"Gents, I'd like you to welcome Warren Joyce to the senior coaching team," Catterall said. "He'll be overseeing defensive training now that Butch has retired."

 

"Welcome aboard, sir," David Platt nodded.

 

"Pleasure to meet you, Warren," Glenn Hoddle smiled as the wily tactics coach shook Joyce's hand.

 

"Thanks, Glenn. It's a dream come true for me to be working with legends like you and Mark and David, and..."

 

"Tim Flowers," said the goalkeeping coach as he forlornly introduced himself to Joyce.

 

"Yeah, nice to meet you, Terry," Joyce replied abruptly as he set eyes on England's assistant manager and smiled, "F***ing hell... if it isn't little Michael Burke!"

 

As Joyce and Burke shared a firm handshake, Catterall asked, "I'm sorry; you know each other?"

 

"Yeah, we go way back!" Joyce said. "I used to date his big sister."

 

"I didn't know that you have a sister, Michael. You always told me you were an only child."

 

"Well, to tell you the truth, I did have a sister," Burke replied sadly, emphasising the past tense.

 

"Michael, I'm still so sorry about what happened to her," Joyce sighed as he hugged Burke.

 

"35 years next month. It never gets easier."

 

"Sorry if this is poorly-timed," Platt interjected, "but Warren, would you mind if we met up at lunch to discuss training drills? I've got this new idea about how to reinvent 'piggy in the middle' for the 21st century."

 

Joyce replied, "Sure, I'd be up for that."

 

Hoddle groaned at Catterall, "That's great, ain't it? Now we've got TWO boring old sods around."

 

Catterall was quick to dismiss his mentor's pessimism. "Warren's not boring at all - anything but, actually. He's a really enthusiastic coach, and that rubs off on the younger players especially. Just wait and see for yourself."

 

Moments later, a voice called out ecstatically, "Hey, look! It's only Joycey boy, ain't it?"

 

That cry came from Luke Shaw - the Manchester United left-back who'd played under Joyce when he was at Old Trafford as reserve-team manager. Fellow defenders Phil Jones and Michael Keane had also been tutored by Joyce at United.

 

"You've played a blinder, Catts, bringing Joycey on board!" Keane cried out as he and his England team-mates jogged across to the coaches. "He won't let you down!"

 

"Get a move on, you lot!" Joyce barked, partly in jest. "I've seen pensioners run faster!"

 

Once all the players had convened with the coaches, Catterall formally introduced them to Joyce, saying, "This is Warren Joyce. If you were at Man United a few years ago, you'll know all about him. If not, then you're in for a treat. Imagine if Butch Wilkins was about 10 years younger and from Oldham!"

 

"Yeah, but at least Butch played for England," Eric Dier scoffed. "I don't think Warren here even played in the Premier League!"

 

Joyce laughed heartedly and swiftly put Dier down, rebutting, "Oh dear, someone's talked themselves into staying behind for an extra half-hour before lunch." That brought a few chuckles from other England players.

 

A somewhat embarrassed Dier sheepishly apologised, "Sorry, coach."

 

"Let that be a lesson for you lot," Catterall stated. "You don't want to mess with Warren. He might not have had the most glittering playing career, but as a coach, he's fantastic. If you ask me, he's up there with [Antonio] Conte and [Diego] Simeone. He will make our defence even tougher to break down than it was when Butch was here.

 

"Warren is very passionate, but he's even more demanding, of that it'll soon be clear. So if any of you aren't feeling shattered when the day is over, then that means you haven't been training hard enough. Got that?"

 

The players took Catterall's words on board and quickly set off to work. In the first hour of his new career as an England coach, Joyce immediately won new admirers... and won over a former Three Lions manager.

 

"I'll give you your due, Mark," Hoddle told the current incumbent. "I had my doubts about Warren, but he's giving our defenders a real work-out."

 

Catterall smiled, "Like I said, Glenn, he's basically a younger Ray Wilkins."

 

"And more energetic. If it weren't for the grey hair, he'd look like he could still be playing!"

 

"It doesn't do you much harm bringing in a coach who's slightly fresher and fitter. Also, I feel that you sometimes need a bit of lower-league blood-and-guts to get the best out of overpaid prima donnas."

 

"I'd be careful not to say that too often, Mark," Hoddle warned. "But I see where you're coming from."

 

"How is Butch, by the way?"

 

"Ray was in intensive care, but he's out of the woods now, thankfully. They're still keeping him in hospital for a few more days, just to be on the safe side."

 

"That's pleasing to hear."

 

The pair then saw Joyce angrily berate Shaw after the full-back underhit a pass. "You call that a pass, Shaw? Stevie Wonder could have done a better job!"

 

Hoddle was about to respond to Joyce's remark, but Catterall quickly stated, "Don't say anything, Glenn. You'll only get yourself sacked again."

 

"I wasn't gonna say anything like that," Hoddle said. "I was just thinking that Warren was being very harsh on Luke there. Luke Shaw, obvi-"

 

"I know you weren't talking about my son, Glenn," Catterall interrupted. "I don't have any problems with that."

 

"Are you sure?"

 

Catterall nodded, "Oh yeah. Shaw's one of those players who needs a lot of tough love. How do you imagine José Mourinho gets the best out of him at United?

 

"If Mourinho had a 9-to-5 office job, and he treated an employee like he treats Shaw, he'd be in trouble with Human Resources within an hour. Personally, I'm not a fan of what he does, but if tough love gets Shaw motivated, then I'm happy to let Warren use it."

[CFuller]

***

 

A new international season for England began with the Under-19s' visit to Sarajevo, where they took on Bosnia & Herzegovina's most promising teenagers. This was Ledley King's first match as head coach since taking over from Matthew Wells in the wake of the team's Semi Final exit to Serbia at the European Championship.

 

With the latest European qualifiers a month away, this match was a great opportunity for a new pride of Young Lions to show that they were worthy of selection. What they produced was one of the most scintillating first-half performances produced by any England team at any level in recent years.

 

The tone was set in the fourth minute, when Bosnian left-back Enis Piric's trip on Lawrence Warner earned England a free-kick deep in the hosts' penalty area. Manchester United midfielder Stuart White lifted the ball into the box from the right, and Manchester City centre-half Joel Latibeaudiere - on loan at Motherwell in the Scottish Premiership - rose highest to flick it into the net.

 

Seven minutes after his deadlock-breaking assist, White put England further ahead with a simple tap-in. Young Lions captain Peter Turner's centre into the penalty area was threaded forward by Liverpool striker Warner to the exciting West Midlander, who did the rest. Having scored at Wembley in the Community Shield just weeks earlier, White was now delivering the goods on the international stage.

 

England were looking very comfortable at 2-0 up. Their control of possession and their vastly-greater quality was simply too much for the Zmajevi to handle. Though Warner and Nicholls fired wide several chances to bolster the visitors' advantage further, it seemed like a third goal was inevitable.

 

That third goal would arrive after 32 minutes. Warner controlled a drilled cross from Turner and then struck a vicious effort that Bosnia goalkeeper Adem Husejnovic pushed against his left-hand post. The Nantes custodian fumbled his second attempt to secure the ball, which bounced across his penalty area before Nicholls raced forward to thrash it past him.

 

Though Husejnovic brilliantly denied White a fourth England goal in the 34th minute, and then again in the 44th, it seemed only a matter of time before the home team would fall further behind. Several Bosnian players were having awful games, especially Piric and midfield aggressor Michael Fürstaller, who was guilty of a grave error just before half-time.

 

In the third and final minute of stoppage time, White sent another dangerous free-kick into Bosnia & Herzegovina's area. Leicester City midfielder Alfie Davidson flicked it across to Warner, who flicked it on to Nicholls just inside the six-yard box. Fürstaller was trying to mark Nicholls, but he could not prevent the Chelsea hotshot from converting his second goal of the evening.

 

The Young Lions went into the break with a seemingly unassailable 4-0 lead. Warner had notched up a hat-trick of assists and would be given more time to add his name onto the scoresheet. Having found the net twice, Nicholls was given a well-earned rest, and Reading's Danny Loader came on for his debut.

 

Less than half a minute into the second half, an incredible fingertip save from Husejnovic prevented Tottenham Hotspur's Tashan Oakley-Boothe from driving in what would have been England's fifth goal. Oakley-Boothe was one of two double-barrelled starlets in the England midfield, the other being substitute Morgan Gibbs-White. TOB and MGW each fired wide chances to heap further misery on the Zmajevi later on.

 

There was to be no second-half rout for England. Indeed, they wouldn't even add to their four-goal cushion. Perhaps understandably, they took things rather easy - perhaps too easy for the liking of King. That said, the former Tottenham centre-half could be encouraged by his teams' defending in the latter stages.

 

England were so solid at the back that they only allowed Bosnia a single shot on target all game. Genk forward Elvis Mehanovic set up a chance in the 75th minute for Tomas Dadic, but the Dinamo Zagreb reserve midfielder fired it straight into the hands of the Young Lions' substitute keeper Josh Vokes. 16-year-old Vokes was a player that King knew well, having worked with him - and Oakley-Boothe - in his full-time coaching role at Tottenham.

 

All in all, it had been an encouraging first outing for this England Under-19s team. While Warner was named man of the match following his three assists, newcomers such as Nicholls and White had shown signs that they too could become excellent players at this level.

 

England manager Mark Catterall had again been watching the Young Lions from back home in Staffordshire, ahead of his trip to Austria with the senior team. He would have undoubtedly been impressed with what he had seen, and perhaps even a little excited about the future of the national side.  

 

4 September 2018: Under-19s International - at Grbavica, Sarajevo

Bosnia & Herzegovina U19s - 0

England U19s - 4 (Joel Latibeaudiere 4, Stuart White 11, Reece Nicholls 32,45+3)

ENGLAND U19s LINE-UP (4-3-1-2): Steve Hilton (Josh Vokes); Peter Turner (Daniel Marshall), Joel Latibeaudiere (Alistair Rattray), Adam Mingay (Joe Wright), Ted Lapslie (Ryan Sessegnon); Tashan Oakley-Boothe (Jadon Sancho), Alfie Davidson (Charles Ameobi), Aaron Morley (Neil Campbell); Stuart White (Morgan Gibbs-White); Lawrence Warner (John Harrison), Reece Nicholls (Danny Loader). BOOKED: Mingay 56, Campbell 84.

[CFuller]

***

 

England Under-21s resumed their European Championship qualifying campaign at Villa Park in Birmingham, where they were expected to comfortably dispose of Albania. The Kuq e Zinjtë had conceded five goals without reply when the Young Lions had travelled to Tirana 12 months earlier, and they had no realistic chance of challenging England or France for qualification from Group 5.

 

With four days to go until England played out a big away game against Scotland, manager Mark Catterall named a mixture of regular starters and less experienced faces. Amongst the latter were Huddersfield Town centre-back Ezri Konsa and Swansea City midfielder Joe Rankin-Costello, who made their Under-21s international debuts.

 

England's hopes of taking an early advantage received a boost after just three minutes. Leicester City's tricky forward Patrick Roberts was bundled over in the Albanian area by Lindon Selahi, prompting the referee to point to the spot and award a penalty.

 

Had Marcus Rashford converted this spot-kick, the Manchester United attacker would have had an unbelievable record of 23 goals in 20 caps for England Under-21s. However, Rashford was far from his lethal best when he chipped it straight into the hands of Albania's relieved goalkeeper Elhan Kastrati.

 

That Rashford miss began a frustrating opening first half-hour from the Young Lions' perspective. Pescara custodian Kastrati reacted quickly to catch Brendan Galloway's header from Roberts' free-kick in the 9th minute. Three minutes after that, he blocked Tammy Abraham's close-range shot from an excellent through-ball by newcomer Rankin-Costello.

 

After 16 minutes, attacking midfielder Joshua Onomah lifted an excellent cross to Rashford, who got above Albanian right-back Ardit Toli and planted a header towards goal. The ball then bounced behind off the crossbar, leaving Rashford badly shaken and low on confidence. However, it would not be too long before he redeemed himself.

 

Though Kastrati saved a couple of attempts from Roberts and Konsa in the 26th minute, his clean sheet would only remain intact for five more minutes. That was when Roberts provided Rashford with an excellent centre that the magical Mancunian powered past Kastrati for his ninth goal of the qualifying campaign - a haul matched by no other player.

 

Albania's only opportunity to peg England back before half-time came in the 38th minute. Selahi lifted a free-kick into the Young Lions' box following a foul from Konsa, but the header from centre-back Arben Kokëdhima was woefully off target.

 

England were unsurprisingly rather frustrated not to have scored more than once in the first half. Captain Abraham had barely been involved, but he looked to change that in the 50th minute with a 20-yard drive that was caught by Kastrati. Reading's on-loan Chelsea striker fared much better a minute later, thundering in a centre from Onomah to make it 2-0 to the hosts.

 

Following Abraham's goal, England opted to sub Rashford off and keep him fresh for the upcoming trip to Scotland. Arsenal's inside-forward Reiss Nelson - on loan at Championship side Ipswich Town - became their third debutant of the night, but having so many rookies on the pitch at once was perhaps a risk.

 

The Kuq e Zinjtë warned their opponents that they weren't quite finished in the 53rd minute, when Sampdoria striker Olger Merkaj audaciously tried to beat Freddie Woodman from 30 yards out. England's goalkeeper wasn't fooled by that, and he also kept out a 55th-minute strike from Selahi to keep Albania stuck on nil.

 

England's defence had another scare six minutes later. Konsa twisted awkwardly on his knee whilst trying to control a long punt from Albania defender Kokëdhima, and it was soon apparent that he couldn't realistically play on. He was subsequently replaced by Mason Holgate, who partnered Everton team-mate Galloway in the centre of the English backline until the conclusion.

 

The final half-hour saw each side have further scoring opportunities. Roberts and Galloway missed chances to wrap the game up for England, while Albania winger Endri Çekiçi sent an 82nd-minute effort into the hands of Woodman, who remained unbeaten.

 

Four minutes later, though, it really was game over. Roberts drilled the ball across to Abraham, who slipped it past Kastrati for 3-0. Roberts' second assist and Abraham's second goal put the seal on another comfortable victory for the Young Lions.

 

England would have even further reason to celebrate at the final whistle, as Group 5 leaders France's 100% record was unexpectedly destroyed in Paisley. Scotland took a 2-0 half-time lead through wingers Greg Kiltie and Chris Cadden, and though Marcus Coco pegged one goal back for Les Bleus, it wasn't enough to extend their six-game winning streak.

 

England and France were now level on 18 points at the top of Group 5, though the French were still leading the way, courtesy of their 2-1 home win over the Young Lions earlier on. That said, with three rounds to go, the ball was in England's court. Were they to win their final three group games, including the rematch against France in October, they would qualify automatically for the European Championship at Les Bleus' expense.

 

6 September 2018: UEFA European Under-21s Championship Qualifying Group 5 - at Villa Park, Birmingham

England U21s - 3 (Marcus Rashford 31, Tammy Abraham 51,86)

Albania U21s - 0

ENGLAND U21s LINE-UP (4-2-3-1): Freddie Woodman; Trent Alexander-Arnold, Ezri Konsa (Mason Holgate), Brendan Galloway, Ben Chilwell; Joe Rankin-Costello, Lewis Cook (Ainsley Maitland-Niles); Patrick Roberts, Joshua Onomah, Marcus Rashford (Reiss Nelson); Tammy Abraham. BOOKED: Cook 52.

 

Konsa's knee injury would rule him out of contention for the Young Lions' crunch match against Scotland in Paisley. His misfortune meant a recall for West Ham United centre-half Reece Burke, who had become a first-team regular at the London Stadium this season following the Hammers' relegation to the Championship.

[CFuller]

***

 

After comfortable victories for their youth teams, it was now the turn of England's seniors to return to action. A potentially troublesome friendly match against Austria at the Ernst-Happel-Stadion in Vienna would be their first test since finishing 3rd at the 2018 FIFA World Cup.

 

Austria had not qualified for the World Cup, and they were indeed still looking for their first win of 2018, following earlier defeats to Spain, Switzerland and Colombia. That said, a team ranked 22nd in the world - and with the likes of Bayern Munich wing-back David Alaba and Liverpool forward Marcel Sabitzer at their disposal - could not be easily written off as cannon fodder.

 

England manager Mark Catterall had warned his players off any complacency before their meeting with the Burschen. A poor result in Vienna would not bode well for the forthcoming trip to the Stade de France, where the Three Lions would open their UEFA Nations League campaign four days later.

 

With the France game in mind, Catterall selected a largely second-string starting line-up, from which only goalkeeper Joe Hart and midfield aggressor Eric Dier could be considered key players. Everton playmaker Ross Barkley was awarded his first international cap in almost exactly 15 months.

 

Two players who would definitely not be playing in this match were Leicester City striker Jamie Vardy and Southampton goalkeeper Fraser Forster, both of whom had been injured in the same game at the King Power Stadium a week earlier. Vardy damaged his elbow in a first-half collision with Saints midfielder Lucas Leiva before Forster strained his wrist early in the second period. Both men now faced a race to be fit for the match against France.

 

With Forster unavailable, it was once again up to Hart to go between the sticks for England, whilst also donning the captain's armband in place of the benched Jordan Henderson. If the Manchester City goalkeeper was expecting a straightforward win for the Three Lions in Vienna, though, he would be sorely mistaken.

 

Austria manager Marcel Koller fielded his team in a very narrow 4-2-3-1 formation, which made it very difficult for England's midfielders to take control of proceedings. Though the visitors won a host of early corners, Austria swatted them away as if the balls were flies.

 

After eight minutes, the Burschen's key men combined to give England a massive fright. Alaba intercepted a clearance from Three Lions defender Gary Cahill and played it ahead of Sabitzer, who surged past the ageing CSKA Moscow centre-half and then tried to beat Hart from a difficult angle. The travelling supporters were somewhat relieved to see Hart parry it behind the byline.

 

Play would frantically switch from end to end, though neither team really had the killer instinct required to break the deadlock. For instance, Austria's Marseille midfielder Zlatko Junuzovic had a decent scoring opportunity from a direct free-kick in the 21st minute, but he floated it into Hart's grasp.

 

England's attackers were looking very ineffective, especially their inside-forwards Nathan Redmond and Rolando Aarons. Barkley was decent enough with his passing, though his miscued header from a Kyle Walker cross in the 26th minute went well off target.

 

Despite that, England would go on to make the breakthrough just one minute later. Aarons' corner from the right deflected heavily off Junuzovic before falling fortuitously to Dier, whose fierce half-volley sailed beyond the reach of debutant Austria goalkeeper Tobias Knoflach.

 

Barkley was on the hunt for a second England goal in the 30th minute after being excellently played in by left-back Danny Rose. However, Barkley could only fire his shot straight at Knoflach - a 24-year-old who played for Sturm Graz in the Austrian Bundesliga.

 

Austria captain Julian Baumgartlinger powered wide the Burschen's last scoring chance before the half-time interval came with an unconvincing England side leading 1-0. Catterall was not at all impressed with his team's passing, which saw them give the ball away far too often for his linking. A change of approach was arguably needed, otherwise the hosts would surely get themselves back in contention.

 

England returned for the second half lining up in a narrow 4-3-1-2, and with three marquee substitutes now on the field. Henderson, Dele Alli and Harry Kane had all been thrown on by Catterall in an attempt to pull the Three Lions further ahead.

 

Henderson's first major contribution after 47 minutes was not convincing, with Austria midfielder Michael Gregoritsch easily heading his corner out of harm's way. England were the team living dangerously three minutes later, when Cahill had to throw himself in front of a shot from Sabitzer.

 

Sabitzer was having a hard time as Austria's lone striker, and Callum Wilson had also struggled whilst in a similar role for England in the first half. However, the addition of a strike partner in Kane helped Wilson to get into the match a bit more, and those two frontmen would link up to devastating effect after 61 minutes.

 

After receiving a throw-in from right-back Mario Pavelic deep in the Austrian half, Burschen centre-half Maximilian Hofmann - another international debutant - hesitated on the ball under fierce pressure from Wilson. The Chelsea striker sensed blood, dispossessing Hofmann before floating a left-wing cross to target man Kane, who beat Aleksandar Dragovic to head it beyond Knoflach. 2-0 to the Three Lions.

 

This had been a baptism of fire for Knoflach, who would make three more saves - from Rose, Alli, and finally Jack Wilshere - before being subbed in the 72nd minute. Rapid Wien's Richard Strebinger now went in goal for Austria, tasked with preventing England from running riot.

 

Austria produced their best attacking move in the 75th minute, when Pavelic knocked the ball past the onrushing Rose and down the line to Florian Grillitsch. The 23-year-old Hoffenheim midfielder squared it to 22-year-old Club Brugge attacker Valentino Lazaro about 12 yards from goal. Lazaro simply had to beat Hart for his first Burschen goal, but an inaccurate volley kept him waiting.

 

With six minutes remaining, England were given the chance to clinch a 3-0 win. Pavelic was accused of shoving Cahill after Wilshere had floated a free-kick into the hosts' penalty area. The referee pointed to the spot, from which Kane was expected to secure his brace. Strebinger had other ideas, pushing Kane's shot away to leave the Tottenham Hotspur striker frustrated.

 

England would have to settle for just a two-goal victory in the end, but they at least they were still in good nick for the trip to France. They had shown few, if any, signs of a post-World Cup hangover.

 

7 September 2018: International Friendly - at Ernst-Happel-Stadion, Vienna

Austria - 0

England - 2 (Eric Dier 27, Harry Kane 61)

ENGLAND LINE-UP (4-2-3-1): Joe Hart; Kyle Walker, Gary Cahill, Phil Jones, Danny Rose (Luke Shaw); Danny Drinkwater (Jordan Henderson), Eric Dier (Michael Keane); Rolando Aarons (Dele Alli), Ross Barkley (Jack Wilshere), Nathan Redmond (Harry Kane); Callum Wilson.

[CFuller]

***

 

Following their win in Austria, Mark Catterall's England squad headed to Paris to begin preparations for their opening fixture in the UEFA Nations League against France. Incidentally, England's Under-19s were also in the French capital for their last friendly match before the European Championship qualifiers. They would play Les Bleus' youngsters at the Parc des Princes just 24 hours before the senior teams would do battle at the Stade de France.

 

Catterall and several of his senior players were at Paris Saint-Germain's home ground to watch the Under-19s international. Meanwhile, the manager would receive updates from his assistant Michael Burke on another big match, which involved England's Under-21s.

 

Burke was in the England team hotel watching the Under-21s face Scotland in what would be a potentially huge match with regards to qualification for their European Championship. An away win in Paisley would see the Young Lions secure a top-two finish in Group 5, and effectively eliminate the Scots from contention at the same time.

 

This match was played at St Mirren Park, which was the home ground of - and this will probably astound you - St Mirren. The Tartan Army had already recorded an incredible 2-1 win over France at that ground four days earlier, but their hopes of a dream double would soon be quashed.

 

England could've taken the lead through a quickfire counter-attack after just seven minutes. Visiting centre-back Axel Tuanzebe headed Greg Kiltie's cross away from Alex Iacovitti and on to Young Lions forward Patrick Roberts, who found captain Tammy Abraham on the left flank. Abraham cut inside Scots centre-half Jordan McGhee before sending a shot into the hands of goalkeeper Ryan Fulton.

 

Two minutes later, Scotland carved England open with an incisive breakaway of their own. Motherwell midfielder Chris Cadden found George Byers in acres of space, but Byers - who'd scored the Scots' only goal in their 3-1 defeat in the reverse fixture the previous year - blasted it just off target.

 

The next 20 minutes or so would be largely frustrating for England. An awful miss from Roberts in the 14th minute was followed by similarly poor efforts from Manchester United prospects Marcus Rashford and Tuanzebe, prompting some home fans to raise their hopes of a revenge win.

 

Then came the 29th minute. England defender Brendan Galloway played a long ball forward to Roberts, who leapt above Scottish captain Greg Taylor and knocked a header down to Joshua Onomah. The Tottenham Hotspur attacking midfielder struck a fierce effort that deflected off Iacovitti's chest before beating Fulton. Onomah had given the Young Lions a 1-0 lead, though he'd benefited from a huge stroke of luck.

 

Another England midfielder hoped to double the advantage after 31 minutes. Everton's Tom Davies picked up an unconvincing headed clearance by Cadden from an Onomah cross, but his 30-yard drive was brilliantly caught by Liverpool keeper Fulton.

 

Onomah half-volleyed wide a great chance for 2-0 in the 36th minute, but he would get another opportunity four minutes later. Tuanzebe nodded an excellent Rashford free-kick down towards Onomah near the penalty spot, and the Londoner's shot went into the net off Stoke City left-back Taylor's heel. This time, the goal was awarded as a Taylor own goal as opposed to another lucky Onomah strike, but England were most certainly leading 2-0 at half-time.

 

Though the Young Lions were comfortable, captain Abraham had been a disappointment. He was replaced up front by Milton Keynes Dons' on-loan Arsenal striker Eddie Nketiah, who made his Under-21s debut alongside former Under-19s colleague Josh Tymon at left-back.

 

Nketiah almost had the dream start to his England Under-21s career, unleashing a vicious shot in the first minute of the second half that prompted Fulton into another impressive catch. Fulton then saved another hopeful attempt from Roberts before Liam Henderson blasted wide a rare Scotland chance on 49 minutes.

 

Nketiah had firmly settled into the game by the 51st minute. His weighted ball through the Scotland defence found Onomah, whose powerful left-footer brought him a second goal that was rather more convincing than his first. At 3-0 up, it was now a case of how many goals England would win by rather than if they would get the job done.

 

Fulton kept Nketiah off the scoresheet in the 56th minute, but the rookie of this England team would have an opportunity to celebrate seven minutes later. Rashford may not have found the net in this match, but the Young Lions' attacking talisman still found Nketiah with a delightful through-ball that the 19-year-old cut past Fulton.

 

Mercifully for Scotland, their humiliation would end at 4-0. The Tartan Army had been left in tatters, and they would leave this match without registering so much as a shot on target.

 

Both teams had injury concerns in the closing stages. Davies played through the last few minutes with a facial injury after a clash with Scotland striker Jack Harper in the hosts' penalty area. At the other end, Fulton broke his wrist in injury time and had to come off, even though his team had already used all three substitutes. The referee took pity on the poor Scots and blew the final whistle before they could consider who to put in goal for what little time remained.

 

Scotland's European Championship dream was over, but England's was very much alive and kicking. They kept up the pace with Group 5 leaders France, who'd fallen 2-1 behind at home to Latvia before eventually prevailing 4-2.

 

England now had a couple more home games remaining against Azerbaijan and France, both of which they would play in October. One victory would secure a play-off place at worst, but two would guarantee that they qualified automatically for the 2019 European Under-21s Championship in Italy.

 

10 September 2018: UEFA European Under-21s Championship Qualifying Group 5 - at St Mirren Park, Paisley

Scotland U21s - 0

England U21s - 4 (Joshua Onomah 29,51, Greg Taylor og40, Eddie Nketiah 63)

ENGLAND U21s LINE-UP (4-2-3-1): Freddie Woodman; Mason Holgate, Axel Tuanzebe, Brendan Galloway, Josh Tymon; Ruben Loftus-Cheek (Ainsley Maitland-Niles), Tom Davies; Patrick Roberts, Joshua Onomah (Sheyi Ojo), Marcus Rashford; Tammy Abraham (Eddie Nketiah). BOOKED: Tuanzebe 64.

 

2019 UEFA European Under-21s Championship Qualifying Group 5 (After 8 rounds)

                                   P     W     D     L     F     A     GD    PTS
1.          France U21s            8     7     0     1     28    7     21    21
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
2.          England U21s           8     7     0     1     36    4     32    21
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
3.          Scotland U21s          8     4     1     3     11    16    -5    13
4.          Albania U21s           8     3     1     4     10    16    -6    10
5.          Latvia U21s            8     2     0     6     9     27    -18   6
6.          Azerbaijan U21s        8     0     0     8     4     28    -24   0

 

[CFuller]

***

 

As England's Under-21s were making light work of Scotland, the Under-19s were entertaining France at the Parc des Princes. Manager Mark Catterall was in the stands to watch the next batch of England youth internationals test their mettle against the French talent factory.

 

The last meeting between these two nations at Under-19s level had come two years earlier, with England prevailing 4-2 in Montbéliard after taking a four-goal lead. That result was incredible enough, but the rematch would arguably be even more astonishing!

 

England kept the French defence on their toes right from the off. Joel Latibeaudiere and Aaron Morley each sent headers just off target before attacking midfielder Stuart White unleashed a vicious fourth-minute effort. Roma goalkeeper Christopher Marti's parry kept White at bay, but the Young Lions would soon be on the prowl again.

 

Only a minute later, left-back Ryan Sessegnon - now in his third season with England's Under-19s - floated a cross to his right-sided colleague Peter Turner. The Young Lions captain rose above French defenders Samuel Josse and Morad Touit to head in his first international goal and open the scoring.

 

Turner played in the same Chelsea youth team as Reece Nicholls, who'd scored twice against Bosnia & Herzegovina a week earlier and would continue his fine form here. After seven minutes, White chipped the ball through the centre of France's defence and into the path of Nicholls. The pacey striker raced clear and drove his shot beyond Marti's reach for an incredible 2-0 away lead!

 

England could easily have had a THIRD goal after ten minutes, when Morley sent Liverpool forward Lawrence Warner one-on-one with Marti. The French goalie prevailed on that occasion, and his English opposite number Steve Hilton would have to make his first save two minutes later. Les Bleus captain Ousmane Fall crossed to Arnaud Fofana from the left, but the Arsenal striker's point-blank header was palmed away by Hilton.

 

France's defenders were then pulled apart again on 21 minutes. Hibernian midfielder Morley snuck through to collect an incisive pass from White and fire it first-time past Marti. England were three goals ahead and in dreamland, but the hosts were in complete disarray.

 

Six minutes later, things got worse for Les Bleus. A terrible headed clearance from centre-half Josse was intercepted by Neil Campbell and knocked on to Morley, who set up another unstoppable strike for Nicholls. That was England's fourth goal of the evening, and Nicholls' fourth in the space of seven days!

 

France's furious head coach Jean-Claude Giuntini immediately hauled Marti off and replaced him with Bordeaux goalkeeper Gaëtan Poussin. To many onlookers, sacrificing Marti seemed somewhat harsh, considering he'd not been obviously culpable for any of the four goals. Less capable team-mates such as Josse or his central defensive colleague Thomas Basila surely had to shoulder more of the blame than the unfortunate 16-year-old.

 

France might have substituted their goalkeeper, but their fortunes would not change. After 37 minutes, a powerful shot from White deflected off Basila and into the path of Wolverhampton Wanderers midfielder Campbell, who blasted in his first England Under-19s goal from all of 25 yards. It was a truly incredible drive that only the best goalies could have realistically been expected to save.

 

The scoreboard at the Parc des Princes at half-time was a sight for sore English eyes. France 0, England 5.

 

England coach Ledley King rested several players for the second half, but Nicholls was kept on as he attempted to secure a hat-trick. He began that pursuit in the first minute of the second half with a banana shot that Poussin comfortably gathered.

 

In the 58th minute, Nicholls played a one-two with substitute midfielder Morgan Gibbs-White, who'd replaced Stuart White following the Manchester United starlet's hat-trick of assists. Gibbs-White was nothing like as impressive as his near-namesake, mind, as the Leicester City man dinked a nervy shot into the hands of the diving Poussin. His next effort, after 62 minutes, missed the target altogether.

 

Just like against Bosnia & Herzegovina six days earlier, England were unable - or perhaps even unmotivated - to build on a huge half-time lead. Nicholls would again be substituted one goal short of a treble, and his replacement Danny Loader would not get remotely close to improving on the 5-0 scoreline.

 

Though their attackers had switched off, England's defenders remained focussed, shutting out France with a series of excellent blocks. Les Bleus also sent three shots off target in the final 20 minutes before they were finally put out of their 'misère'.

 

10 September 2018: Under-19s International - at Parc des Princes, Paris

France U19s - 0

England U19s - 5 (Peter Turner 5, Reece Nicholls 7,27, Aaron Morley 21, Neil Campbell 37)

ENGLAND U19s LINE-UP (4-2-3-1): Steve Hilton (Terry Cowling); Peter Turner (Daniel Marshall), Adam Mingay (Joe Wright), Joel Latibeaudiere (Alistair Rattray), Ryan Sessegnon (Ted Lapslie); Aaron Morley (Alfie Davidson), Neil Campbell (Tashan Oakley-Boothe); Lawrence Warner (John Harrison), Stuart White (Morgan Gibbs-White), Charles Ameobi (Jadon Sancho); Reece Nicholls (Danny Loader). BOOKED: Morley 32.

 

England had sent out a firm message that they were firmly in the mix for the 2019 UEFA European Under-19s Championship, the Qualifying Round of which would begin in October.

 

England were selected as the host nation for Group 5, in which they would face Italy, Greece and San Marino. All matches would be staged at Blackburn Rovers' Ewood Park between 10 and 14 October.

[CFuller]

***

 

10 September 2018 had been a truly extraordinary Monday evening for England's youth teams. Their successes were the talk of the senior team at the Hôtel Vernet in Paris on Tuesday morning.

 

Manager Mark Catterall had relished in witnessing the Under-19s' 5-0 demolition of their French hosts at the Parc des Princes. Meanwhile, his assistant Michael Burke had stayed at the hotel to watch the Under-21s thrash Scotland 4-0. Both men sat down in the hotel restaurant to discuss the matches over breakfast.

 

Catterall began by asking Burke, "So... what impressed you most about the Under-21s last night?"

 

"What didn't impress me?" Burke replied. "Our boys were absolutely on it, right from kick-off. They played such great high-tempo attacking football. Scotland never had a moment's rest!"

 

Catterall smiled, "That sounds like our kind of England team, alright!"

 

"Watching those kids got me thinking, Mark. Some of them are technically really good, and I mean they're embarrassingly good for Under-21s level. We should be getting them in the senior set-up ASAP, to see if they can hack it with the big boys."

 

"I'd love to do that, Mick... if they're playing regular top-division football and are consistently playing well. That's why Marcus Rashford is still down with the Under-21s; Manchester United just aren't giving him enough opportunities. How many of those other lads are playing regularly in the Premier League right now?"

 

Burke pondered over his answer for a while, and then admitted, "Not many, to be honest. There's Patrick Roberts, I suppose..."

 

"Patrick's getting there, but he needs to be more consistent at Leicester City. He can be unplayable in one match, and in the next one, you hardly notice he's on the pitch."

 

"Still, I you should think about promoting a few lads in the future, especially those with foreign roots. Once the Under-21s Euros are over in the summer, there's every chance they could leave the England set-up and play for another country if they can be promised regular international football."

 

Burke did have a point, with at least six players in the current Under-21s squad having the potential to switch nationality. Attacking midfielder Joshua Onomah - who'd scored a brace against Scotland - qualified for Nigeria, as did winger Sheyi Ojo and striker Tammy Abraham. Central defenders Brendan Galloway and Axel Tuanzebe had been born in Zimbabwe and DR Congo respectively, while right-back Mason Holgate was of Jamaican descent.

 

"Ideally, I don't wanna lose too many of those lads," Catterall said. "But I'll bring them into the seniors only if the time's right. If they want to play for another country instead of waiting for their chance with England, then that's up to them."

 

Dele Alli then came over to the pair's table and handed Catterall a plate with four slices of black toast on it. The Tottenham Hotspur midfielder asked, "Is that alright for you, gaffer?"

 

Catterall looked stunned, and then simply said, "Yeah. Thanks."

 

Alli blushed, "Don't thank me, gaffer. It was [Glenn] Hoddle's idea. He thought you'd like it."

 

"I usually make my own toast, Dele, but that's absolutely fine. Thank Glenn for me, will ya?"

 

Alli politely nodded and then walked away, after which Burke asked Catterall, "And what did you make of the Under-19s last night?"

 

"That first half was just mind-blowing, Mick. With Ledley [King] coaching them, you could see how much it meant to those kids to wear the England shirt. They were 5-0 up on France at half-time, and if they'd kept the pace up in the second half, it could've been a whole lot more. Believe me, the future's bright..."

 

Burke interjected, "The future's or-," but Catterall told him, "Don't even think about it, smart arse. You know, I've never been so hopeful for an England youth team before - not even our Under-17s team from 2010 that had Jack Butland and Ross Barkley..."

 

"Don't forget Connor Wickham. We wouldn't have won that European Championship Final against Spain without him."

 

"Nobody's forgotten Connor Wickham, trust me. But this Reece Nicholls lad, he's a real fox in the box. Give him a chance in the penalty area and he'll put it away, nine times out of 10. He's probably the most lethal poacher I've seen play for England such a young age since..."

 

"Nathan Delfouneso?"

 

Catterall smiled, "I was gonna say Wickham again, but that's a good answer as well. But what really excites me is the amount of quality we have across the board. The right-back, Peter Turner - he's an England and Chelsea captain in the making."

 

Burke quipped, "As long as he don't start shagging his team-mate's girlfriend like that c*** John Terry, he's got a bright future. Then again, I suppose Wayne Bridge had the last laugh in the end, as he shacked up with that Frankie [Sandford] bird from The Saturdays."

 

"Aaron Morley from Brighton - he's a tenacious midfielder who never stops harassing the opposition," Catterall continued. "Then there's that playmaker from Wolves - Neil Campbell, who looks like he could be the next Paul Gascoigne. Speaks a bit like him, too. He's got ridiculous talent for a 17-year-old, and I'm sure he'll make it to the Premier League very soon, one way or another."

 

"And Lawrence Warner?"

 

"Loz weren't at his best last night, but he and Nicholls could be the future of England's frontline if they continue progressing as they are."

 

Catterall then tucked into his toast, taking obvious pleasure in doing so. This prompted Burke to burst out laughing.

 

"What?" Catterall asked, bemusedly.

 

"That sound you made when you ate that toast! You sounded almost orgasmic! You remind me of how my Julia acts whenever she sees that Aidan Turner fella off 'Poldark'!"

 

"Well, that's 'cos this is the best toast I've had in ages. Who made this?"

 

Harry Kane - sitting with Alli and their Tottenham Hotspur club-mates at the next table down - called out, "Yeah, I made that for you, gaffer!"

 

Burke shook his head in disbelief. "It can't have been you, Harry! You barely know how to turn a kettle on!"

 

"No, really, it was all me, mate. Well, y'know, it was mostly me. I had a bit of help from Dele, obviously... and Christian Eriksen. Y'know, I had a little bit to do with it."

 

Alli snarled, "You don't know what the hell you're on about, Harry! You're always trying to claim responsibility for every little thing, even if you had nothing to do with it!"

 

Kane looked down at the table sadly and sulked, "I thought you were my best friend, Dele. You hurt my feelings, y'know."

 

A disgruntled Alli then turned back to Catterall and Burke, telling them, "Glenn put that in the toaster for you, obviously, but David Platt made him use those silly tongs so that he wouldn't get his germs on the bread. Nobody ever actually uses those things... right?"

 

As Catterall finished off his toast, Burke asked, "How are you feeling about tonight? Can the lads beat France, just like the kids did?"

 

"We've certainly got the ability to beat them, especially when you look at how vulnerable they are at the back," Catterall nodded. "It'll probably come down to whether our defence can hold their nerve and hold off the French attackers."

 

"So who are you going with in defence?"

 

"My strongest back five, obviously. Joe [Hart] in goal, Luke [Shaw] and Nat [Clyne] on the flanks, and the Chuckle Brothers [Michael Keane and John Stones] in the middle."

 

"You aren't playing Gary Cahill, then?"

 

"No. At Gary's age, I've gotta use him wisely, and not throw him into games where he'll look out of his depth. His 32-year-old legs will tire themselves out after half an hour against Moussa Dembélé and Anthony Martial."

 

"Point taken. Then, of course, there's the obvious flaw in his personality..."

 

As Burke was finishing his sentence, Cahill's mobile phone rang, playing the national anthem of the old Soviet Union at full blast. The CSKA Moscow defender loudly sang along, "Soyuz nerushimy respublik svobodnykh! Splotila naveki velikaya Rus'!"

 

Callum Wilson interrupted the song by pressing the 'Answer' icon on the phone screen. He then handed the phone back to a furious Cahill, who shouted at his former Chelsea team-mate, "HOW DARE you disgrace our proud State Anthem! You shall pay for your insolence, infidel!"

 

Cahill then answered the incoming call, but appeared taken aback when he heard who was at the other end. "Oh... mother! I am so sorry!"

[CFuller]

***

 

England and France had last met one another at the Stade de France in a friendly in November 2017. Back then, Mark Catterall's charges survived an onslaught from Les Bleus before eventually winning the game through a fortuitous 88th-minute own goal by home debutant Lucas. The young Atlético Madrid centre-half had not been capped since.

 

Ten months on, those two teams did battle once again in Saint-Denis - and this time, there was rather more at stake than national honour. For starters, France and England had made up two of the top three at the 2018 FIFA World Cup, with both being toppled by Belgium at the business end. They were no longer seen as the two big underachievers of European international football.

 

This rematch would also see the teams contest valuable points in Division A Group 3 of the new UEFA Nations League. Victory for either side could conceivably make all the difference between progressing to next summer's Semi Finals and suffering the indignity of relegation to Division B.

 

France had already had their first taste of the Nations League four days earlier. While England were honing their skills in a friendly match in Austria, Les Bleus were back at Moscow's Luzhniki stadium - the venue of their 4-0 humbling against Belgium in the World Cup Final in July. Didier Deschamp's team would return home with more horrible memories, following a shock 2-1 defeat to a Russia team who had been seen as Group 3's rank outsiders.

 

Another defeat on home soil to England would leave France desperately battling for survival. For a team who'd come so close to claiming the greatest prize of all just two months previously, that would be quite a sudden decline.

 

In contrast, England were in a confident mood ahead of their first ever Nations League match. If the Three Lions could take a win or even a draw away from Saint-Denis, they would strongly fancy their chances of challenging for the inaugural Nations League championship at the end of the season.

 

The fierce rivalry between these two nations was evident after five minutes. A clumsy tackle on England winger Demarai Gray resulted in a booking for France's Monaco right-back Djibril Sidibé. Gray then dusted himself down before lifting the subsequent free-kick just over the bar.

 

When the referee handed out another yellow card in the 14th minute, it was to England's captain. A typically full-blooded tackle on Manchester United's Corentin Tolisso saw Liverpool midfielder Jordan Henderson wind up in Pavel Kralovec's notebook.

 

Neither team seriously threatened the other on the attacking front until midway through the first period. France won a corner in the 21st minute, but Kingsley Coman's delivery was headed away by Gray, who would fire wide England's first shot two minutes later.

 

Moussa Dembélé showed plenty of ambition for France in the 29th minute, when he tried - and failed - to drive a 30-yard shot past Joe Hart. The 22-year-old Bayer Leverkusen forward was earning just his second senior cap for Les Bleus, having made his debut six months earlier against a Wales side managed by none other than Claudio Ranieri.

 

Dembélé's next effort a minute later posed rather more of a threat to Hart. He dribbled past England defender Michael Keane before unleashing a fearsome strike that was met by a save of a similarly high quality from the Three Lions' number 1.

 

France would rack up a few more corners later in the first half, while they also had Tolisso booked for a careless challenge on Jack Wilshere in the 34th minute. Though the match was still goalless by half-time, the home fans at the Stade de France had reason to believe that their team could go on to prevail.

 

England boss Mark Catterall was also quietly confident, though he still felt the need to make a change during the break. Attacking midfielder Wilshere was sacrificed in favour of the aggressive Eric Dier, with deep-lying playmaker Dele Alli being pushed up into a more advanced role.

 

Catterall had also pondered taking off inside-forward Rolando Aarons at half-time, but he kept faith in the young left-footer. That faith would be repaid about two minutes into the second half, when Aarons won a free-kick off French left-back Lucas Digne.

 

Aarons was by no means a free-kick specialist, but he was still chosen to take the set-piece instead of a more skilled player such as Henderson or Dier. The Newcastle United wideman chipped it into Les Bleus' box, where Harry Kane beat out French centre-half Aymeric Laporte to nod it past goalkeeper Hugo Lloris.

 

Just like 10 months earlier, England had taken a 1-0 lead in France. However, the big difference between those two meetings was that Deschamps' men now had plenty of time to retaliate.

 

France's quick attackers quickly upped the ante and took the game to the English backline. On 57 minutes, Manchester United forward Anthony Martial played a lovely pass into the path of Dembélé, who screwed it wide.

 

Two minutes later, England's hopes of victory suffered a major blow. Kane twisted his knee sharply in the French half, thus ending his match after an hour. Chelsea's Callum Wilson would replace him at the heart of the Three Lions' attack for the closing 30 minutes.

 

Though England won a couple of corners soon after, they were badly lacking the aerial presence that Kane had brought to the table. Their inability to take advantage of set-pieces would soon prove telling - as would, more importantly, the greater energy of the French forwards.

 

On 70 minutes, Laporte stopped Wilson in his tracks and passed to France's substitute playmaker Thomas Lemar. The 22-year-old from Monaco searched out the run of Martial, who broke free of England right-back Nathaniel Clyne as he dribbled to the byline. He then drilled the ball across for Dembélé to equalise with his first international goal.

 

Almost exactly a minute after levelling the scores, France were at it again. The same three musketeers - Lemar, Martial and Dembélé - linked up to stun the Three Lions and fire Les Bleus into the lead.

 

After receiving the ball from France talisman Paul Pogba, Lemar evaded the onrushing Dier and found Dembélé in space. The young striker then drew Keane outside towards the right before finding Coman, who crossed into the six-yard box. Martial only had to get beyond Clyne to reach Coman's delivery and volley it in at the back stick.

 

Two goals in as many minutes had seen France take control of the match. Though John Stones made a vital challenge on Dembélé to deny him a third French goal in the 74th minute, the visitors were still reliant on Hart catching an effort from Lemar shortly afterwards.

 

The Three Lions were now low on energy and even lower on attacking inspiration. Even the introduction of Nathan Redmond for Gray shortly after that quickfire double failed to reinvigorate them, and after Wilson had two late efforts saved by Lloris, the white flag was reluctantly raised.

 

England's first foray into the UEFA Nations League had ended in defeat. A 2-1 win for France eradicated the memories of their loss by the same scoreline to Russia, and left both teams on three points in Group 3. Catterall's side were now playing catch-up, and they would be firm favourites to suffer relegation from Division A unless they could vanquish Russia at Wembley in October.

 

11 September 2018: UEFA Nations League Division A Group 3 - at Stade de France, Saint-Denis

France - 2 (Moussa Dembélé 70, Anthony Martial 71)

England - 1 (Harry Kane 48)

ENGLAND LINE-UP (4-2-3-1): Joe Hart; Nathaniel Clyne, Michael Keane, John Stones, Luke Shaw; Dele Alli, Jordan Henderson; Rolando Aarons, Jack Wilshere (Eric Dier), Demarai Gray (Nathan Redmond); Harry Kane (Callum Wilson).

 

2018/2019 UEFA Nations League Division A Group 3 (After 2 rounds)

                                   P     W     D     L     F     A     GD    PTS
1.          Russia                 1     1     0     0     2     1     1     3
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
2.          France                 2     1     0     1     3     3     0     3
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
3.          England                1     0     0     1     1     2     -1    0

 

Catterall was interviewed at full-time by ITV's Gabriel Clarke, who asked, "After such a promising start to the second half, how disappointed are you that you came away with a defeat?"

 

"Well, France were always going to be very tough opponents, but I'm not happy with how we crumbled in the middle part of that second period," Catterall replied sternly. "We took our feet off the pedals, and they just raced past us in the end. You can't do that against world-class opponents who have as much attacking talent and energy as France have."

 

"This result makes the Russia game at Wembley next month that little bit more significant, doesn't it?"

 

Catterall reluctantly agreed, "Yes, it has become more important that we get a result against the Russians. Ideally, we don't want to be chasing the other two teams going into the final two group games. But I know the players are already itching to put things right next month, and I'm confident we can do just that."

 

Clarke then asked, "There are probably a few fans back home wondering why you didn't bring on Jamie Vardy after Harry Kane twisted his knee while England were still 1-0 up. Why did you choose to send Callum Wilson on instead?"

 

"I know Jamie's had a fine start to the season with Leicester City, but I didn't think he was the right man for the situation we were in. I gave Callum another opportunity to show that he could fill in for Harry if need be, and unfortunately, he just weren't up to scratch. I'll hold my hands up on that."

 

"Are you suggesting that Vardy will get opportunities ahead of Wilson in future matches?"

 

"There's a good chance he will, yes."

[CFuller]

Chapter 23 - No Place Like Home

 

Mark Catterall was hard at work in his office at St George's Park, studying footage of several prospective England players before he was due to name his squads for the October internationals. He was suddenly interrupted by a call from his personal assistant, who told him, "Mr Catterall, I've got Ashley Minton here, from the women's Under-19s team. She says she wants to see you."

 

"Send her through, Rachel," Catterall responded, before waiting for his visitor to arrive.

 

A few moments, Ashley peered through the door and smiled, "Alri', Dad?"

 

Mark's eyes lit up upon seeing his daughter, who was sporting her England tracksuit. "Yeah, I'm fine! Please... come in!"

 

Father and daughter shared a hug before Mark said, "I'm a bit busy here, so I'm afraid I can't keep you for very long."

 

"That's alright," Ashley nodded. "How about we meet up for coffee this afternoon, when you've got a bit more time to talk?"

 

"That'd be great, cheers. There's a Costa on Orchard Street. Is 2 o'clock a good time for you?"

 

"Absolutely. I've got the whole day off anyway. I've just come back from Latvia with the England Under-19s team. I'll tell you a bit more then."

 

"Yeah, sure. See you there."

 

Once Mark had finished work for the day, he met up with Ashley again later that afternoon - at the Costa coffee house on Orchard Street, as promised.

 

After the pair ordered and received their coffee, Mark asked his daughter, "So, Ash, how did it go for you in Latvia?"

 

"I loved it," Ashley beamed. "It's such a beautiful country with such wonderful people. I'd love to go there again on holiday when the season's over."

 

"And what about football-wise?"

 

"Couldn't have gone any better. We had three European qualifiers, against Latvia, Iceland and... Slovakia. We won all three games easy. 14 goals we scored..."

 

"Great, and when's the next round?"

 

"April, I think. The draw's not for a few weeks, so we don't yet know where we're going or who we're playing next. Anyway, as I was saying, we scored 14 goals and I got four of them - two each against Latvia and Slovakia."

 

"Bloomin' hell, that's more than I ever scored for England!" Mark exclaimed, causing Ashley to burst out laughing.

 

After the laughter had died down, Ashley admitted, "To be fair, I am an attacking midfielder... and you were a defender, weren't you?"

 

"Central midfielder, mainly," Mark corrected her, "I started out as a deep-lying playmaker at first, and then became more of an anchor man in my later years. Mind you, come to think of it, I did briefly play at centre-back at Leeds United during that relegation season."

 

"That must be where I got that from. Leeds was the first club I remember you playing for."

 

"I'm impressed you still remember Leeds. You must've been, what - two or three years old?"

 

Ashley laughed again, and Mark then asked her, "So... why attacking midfield?"

 

Ashley explained, "I've always liked being right in the thick of things, y'know. I love to score goals, obviously, but I love setting them up as well. We're always taught at Liverpool to keep the ball and move it around effectively, and I'd like to think I can do that.

 

"One of my coaches reckons that I could be a striker, with the pace I have, but I'm not sure. Just look at all the depth England have got up front - Toni Duggan, Jodie Taylor, Nikita Parris, Fran Kirby, Danielle Carter. They're all world-class strikers; I couldn't hope to compete with them."

 

"I could do with a couple of 'em in the men's team, actually," Mark admitted. "We've got Harry Kane and Callum Wilson, but they're just so inconsistent for their country. Other than them, we don't have much to choose from."

 

"Daniel Sturridge weren't too bad for you, was he?"

 

"Ashley, I love Sturridge like I would my own kid. He just scores for fun when he's in full flow. The problem with Sturridge is that [Roberto] Mancini just isn't giving him any gametime at Liverpool, so there's not much point in me picking him. To tell you the truth, I hope in January that he tells Mancini to stick his contract up his arse and then p***es off to a club where he'll actually be appreciated."

 

"Being a Liverpool fan, I have to agree," Ashley admitted. "I know he has big problems with injuries, but for me, he's very underrated."

 

Mark then decided to change the subject, asking, "What else do you like to do outside of football?"

 

"I like reading, and music - mostly pop and R&B, but basically all girls my age love that. I also love to party with my girl friends of a weekend."

 

"Girlfriends? Do you mean..."

 

Ashley shook her head and replied, "They're just friends, Dad. I'm not gay, if that's what you're asking."

 

"It don't matter to me. I'm a very liberal man, and I wouldn't have a problem if you were gay. Now, I don't really wanna pry too much into your life, but... are you seeing anyone at the moment?"

 

"Not right now. I've had boyfriends in the past, but they've never gone very far. A lorra guys I know only want one thing when it comes to women. Anyway, it's not as if I'm desperate to find Mr Right at the moment."

 

"That's probably for the best. It's a good idea at this stage in your life to concentrate on your career - become a regular starter at Liverpool, and then break into the senior England team if you can. Then you might want to start looking for that special someone."

 

"Cheers for the advice, Dad, but I can run my own life just fine, thanks."

 

"It were only a suggestion, love," Mark said, seemingly offended by Ashley's rebuttal. He then asked, "You still living at home, or have you found a place of your own?"

 

"I'm still living with Mum and Craig for now, helping them out with our Nicola."

 

Mark remembered, "Ah, she's your little sister, isn't she? How old's she again?"

 

"Five. She turns six in April. She's a lovely girl, though she can be a bit of trouble every now and again."

 

"Most five-year-olds are troublesome. You were a nightmare at times when you were her age!"

 

"Yeah, I was, weren't I? But me and a team-mate are thinking of a flat-share for next year. We'll see what happens."

 

"You've got a mature head on your young shoulders. You're definitely your parents' daughter."

 

"Thanks," Ashley smiled. "I've been brought up well. Now it's up to me to make you, Mum and Craig proud, by making the most of my talents."

 

"That's all we ask of you, love."

[CFuller]

***

 

October 2018 would be a somewhat straightforward month for Mark Catterall, at least logistically rather than in terms of the quality of his next opponents. The England senior, Under-21s and Under-19s teams would play a total of seven matches over the course of seven days - and all of them were on home soil.

 

The seniors had two Wembley fixtures to look forward to. The first of them would be staged on 12 October, with Russia providing the opponents for their second UEFA Nations League fixture. The Three Lions realistically needed to win that match, otherwise their prospects of staying in Division A would be significantly diminished.

 

Four days later, England would welcome the United States to Wembley for a friendly match. This would be their first meeting since the 2010 FIFA World Cup, when Robert Green's goalkeeping howler gifted the USA a 1-1 draw, and effectively condemned his team to a Last 16 humbling at Germany's hands.

 

Both those games would be preceded by the Under-21s' final two group matches in their bid to qualify for the 2019 European Championship in Italy. Norwich City's stadium at Carrow Road had been selected as the venue for crunch matches against Azerbaijan and France, where a couple of home wins would send the Young Lions through without having to negotiate a two-legged play-off in November.

 

Meanwhile, the Under-19s' attempt to qualify for this summer's European Championship in Armenia would begin with three Qualifying Round matches in five days. Ewood Park in Blackburn had been selected as the host venue for Group 5, which would see Italy, Greece and San Marino battle with the Young Lions for a top-two finish that would prolong their hopes of qualification.

 

If all those seven matches had been played on each of the seven days, Catterall would've had no problem with attending each fixture personally whilst still keeping his focus on the senior side. However, it would not be quite that simple.

 

The one complication in Catterall's schedule was on 12 October. England's Under-19s would play Greece in Blackburn at 3:00pm, four-and-a-half hours before the senior team were due to start their game against Russia at Wembley.

 

If the manager was to attend the match at Ewood Park, a simple car journey from Blackburn to west London would most likely take too long to get him to Wembley in time for kick-off. Instead, Catterall intended to hire a helicopter to take him from Lancashire to Wembley in approximately an hour-and-a-half, leaving him with a lot more time to spare between matches.

 

With his travel plans now provisionally sorted, Catterall had to finalise his squads for seven home matches that would arguably go a long way to making or breaking his three teams' respective seasons.

 

ENGLAND squad - for matches vs Russia (H) and United States (H)

NAME                      POSITIONS           D.O.B. (AGE)     CLUB            CAPS  GOALS HEIGHT WEIGHT     VALUE
Jack Butland              GK                  10/03/1993 (25)  Stoke           8     0     6'5"   14st 13lbs £19.5M  
Joe Hart                  GK                  19/04/1987 (31)  Man City        85    0     6'5"   12st 10lbs £6.5M   
Jordan Pickford           GK                  07/03/1994 (24)  Sunderland      0     0     6'2"   12st 1lb   £2.2M   
Michael Keane             D (RC)              11/01/1993 (25)  Man City        19    0     6'1"   13st 3lbs  £30.5M  
John Stones               D (RC)              28/05/1994 (24)  Man City        29    1     6'2"   12st 1lb   £35M    
Eric Dier                 D (RC), DM, M (C)   15/01/1994 (24)  Tottenham       35    5     6'2"   13st 7lbs  £32.5M  
Gary Cahill               D (C)               19/12/1985 (32)  CSKA Moscow     62    3     6'4"   13st 7lbs  £1.3M   
Chris Smalling            D (C)               22/11/1989 (28)  Man Utd         36    1     6'4"   14st 2lbs  £14.5M  
Nathaniel Clyne           D/WB (R)            05/04/1991 (27)  Liverpool       32    0     5'9"   10st 7lbs  £12.5M  
Kyle Walker               D/WB (R)            28/05/1990 (28)  Tottenham       34    0     6'0"   11st 6lbs  £20.5M  
Luke Shaw                 D/WB (L)            12/07/1995 (23)  Man Utd         24    1     6'1"   11st 11lbs £23M    
Danny Rose                D/WB/M (L)          02/07/1990 (28)  Tottenham       23    2     5'8"   11st 6lbs  £22.5M  
Jordan Henderson          DM, M (C)           17/06/1990 (28)  Liverpool       53    1     6'0"   10st 7lbs  £21.5M  
Danny Drinkwater          M (C)               05/03/1990 (28)  Leicester       20    0     5'10"  11st 0lbs  £15.25M 
Rolando Aarons            M/AM (RL)           16/11/1995 (22)  Newcastle       11    3     5'9"   10st 5lbs  £14M    
Demarai Gray              M/AM (RL)           28/06/1996 (22)  Leicester       14    2     5'10"  11st 13lbs £17.25M 
Nathan Redmond            M/AM (RL), ST (C)   06/03/1994 (24)  Southampton     10    3     5'8"   11st 6lbs  £25M    
James Ward-Prowse         M/AM (RC)           01/11/1994 (23)  Tottenham       5     0     5'8"   10st 5lbs  £16M    
Dele Alli                 M/AM (C)            11/04/1996 (22)  Tottenham       38    5     6'1"   12st 1lb   £34M    
Jack Wilshere             M/AM (C)            01/01/1992 (26)  Arsenal         55    9     5'9"   10st 3lbs  £26.5M  
Jamie Vardy               AM (C), ST (C)      11/01/1987 (31)  Leicester       16    5     5'10"  11st 11lbs £6.25M  
Harry Kane                ST (C)              28/07/1993 (25)  Tottenham       38    16    6'3"   13st 0lbs  £35.5M  
Callum Wilson             ST (C)              27/02/1992 (26)  Chelsea         22    5     5'11"  10st 7lbs  £32.5M  

 

Unfortunately, England were without the services of Southampton goalkeeper Fraser Forster, whose injury-plagued start to the season continued when he broke a finger in an EFL Cup win over Brighton & Hove Albion. Forster's misfortune meant that Sunderland custodian Jordan Pickford, who'd kept goal for England Under-21s in their run to the 2017 European Championship Final, received his first senior call-up.

 

Pickford aside, this England team was full of experience. The only outfielder with fewer than 10 caps was Tottenham Hotspur's versatile midfielder James Ward-Prowse, who was recalled to the squad for the first time in almost a year. He took the place of Ross Barkley after the Everton playmaker's promising early-season form petered out in September.

 

The only other change to the squad was at centre-half. Phil Jones had recently been ousted from Premier League champions Manchester United's starting line-up by Chris Smalling, and that was reflected in Catterall's 23-man selection.

 

Eyebrows were raised over the presence of Newcastle United's Rolando Aarons, who had yet to rediscover his excellent form from the previous season. Aarons' assist against France a month earlier had given him some leeway with Catterall, but he would have to seriously up his game to retain his England spot in the long-term.

 

The form man in this England squad was again Callum Wilson, who'd now scored seven goals in his first nine games for Chelsea this season. Demarai Gray and Jamie Vardy had also been in impressive scoring form for Leicester City, while Joe Hart had already kept six clean sheets for Manchester City.

 

ENGLAND UNDER-21s squad - for matches vs Azerbaijan (H) and France (H)

NAME                      POSITIONS           D.O.B. (AGE)     CLUB            CAPS  GOALS HEIGHT WEIGHT     VALUE
Bailey Peacock-Farrell    GK                  29/10/1996 (21)  Leeds           3     0     6'2"   11st 11lbs £240K   
Ted Smith                 GK                  18/01/1996 (22)  Southend        2     0     6'1"   13st 5lbs  £425K   
Freddie Woodman           GK                  04/03/1997 (21)  Birmingham      8     0     6'1"   10st 12lbs £1.2M   
Joe Gomez                 D (RLC)             23/05/1997 (21)  West Ham        20    1     6'2"   13st 7lbs  £6.75M  
Mason Holgate             D (RC)              22/10/1996 (21)  Everton         16    0     5'11"  11st 13lbs £22M    
Joe Rankin-Costello       D (RC), M/AM (RLC)  26/07/1999 (19)  Swansea         1     0     5'10"  11st 2lbs  £6.75M  
Ben Chilwell              D (LC), WB (L)      21/12/1996 (21)  Leicester       17    0     5'10"  12st 1lb   £7.5M   
Brendan Galloway          D (LC), DM          17/03/1996 (22)  Everton         18    1     6'2"   14st 0lbs  £10M    
Reece Burke               D (C)               02/09/1996 (22)  West Ham        3     0     6'2"   12st 10lbs £4.5M   
Axel Tuanzebe             D (C)               14/11/1997 (20)  Stoke           5     1     6'0"   12st 6lbs  £4.3M   
Trent Alexander-Arnold    D/WB (R), DM        07/10/1998 (19)  Sheff Wed       5     0     5'6"   9st 6lbs   £925K   
Josh Tymon                D/M (L)             22/05/1999 (19)  West Ham        1     0     5'8"   10st 12lbs £8.25M  
Ainsley Maitland-Niles    DM, M (RC), AM (R)  29/08/1997 (21)  Wolves          4     0     5'10"  11st 4lbs  £2.9M   
Lewis Cook                DM, M (C)           03/02/1997 (21)  Bournemouth     7     0     5'9"   11st 2lbs  £9.75M  
Tom Davies                DM, M (C)           30/06/1998 (20)  Everton         8     2     5'10"  11st 0lbs  £4.1M   
Patrick Roberts           M (RL), AM (RLC)    05/02/1997 (21)  Leicester       17    4     5'6"   9st 1lb    £16M    
Reiss Nelson              M (L), AM (RL)      10/12/1999 (18)  Ipswich         1     0     5'9"   11st 2lbs  £3.1M   
Sheyi Ojo                 M (L), AM (RLC)     19/06/1997 (21)  Leeds           4     0     6'1"   9st 12lbs  £11M    
Kasey Palmer              M (C), AM (RLC)     09/11/1996 (21)  Rangers         14    3     5'11"  12st 6lbs  £6.5M   
Joshua Onomah             M/AM (C)            27/04/1997 (21)  Tottenham       12    6     6'0"   12st 10lbs £5.5M   
Tammy Abraham             AM (R), ST (C)      02/10/1997 (21)  Reading         22    11    6'4"   12st 12lbs £2.7M   
Marcus Rashford           AM (L), ST (C)      31/10/1997 (20)  Man Utd         21    23    5'11"  11st 9lbs  £30.5M  
Eddie Nketiah             ST (C)              30/05/1999 (19)  MK Dons         1     1     5'10"  11st 4lbs  £2.3M   

 

With England Under-21s' last two European Championship qualifiers on the horizon, Catterall opted not to upset the applecart too much. The only alteration to the squad involved a recall for flamboyant attacking midfielder Kasey Palmer, who'd just started a season-long loan stint at Scottish Premiership side Rangers.

 

Palmer was called up in place of another Chelsea midfielder. Though Ruben Loftus-Cheek was the most experienced player available to the Under-21s in terms of caps, the deep-lying playmaker had been left to stagnate in the reserves at Stamford Bridge. His only first-team appearance for the Blues thus far this term had come as a second-half substitute in an EFL Cup defeat at Manchester United.

 

Aside from Marcus Rashford, there were one or two defenders in this team who could realistically expect to be considered for the senior squad sooner rather than later. Rashford's United team-mate Axel Tuanzebe had adjusted quickly to regular Premier League football while on loan at Stoke City, leading to speculation over a swift promotion.

 

Tuanzebe's fellow centre-half Brendan Galloway had been on the fringes of the full England squad for some time. The Everton ace had even been linked with a lucrative January move to Old Trafford, with José Mourinho understood to be a great admirer of the Zimbabwe-born 22-year-old.

 

ENGLAND UNDER-19s squad - for European Under-19s Championship Qualifying Round

GOALKEEPERS: Steve Hilton (Liverpool), Josh Vokes (Tottenham)

DEFENDERS: Ted Lapslie (Arsenal), Joel Latibeaudiere (Motherwell), Daniel Marshall (Stoke), Alistair Rattray (Peterborough), Ryan Sessegnon (Sheff Wed), Peter Turner (Chelsea), Joe Wright (Liverpool)

MIDFIELDERS: Charles Ameobi (Arsenal), Neil Campbell (Wolves), Alfie Davidson (Leicester), John Harrison (Liverpool), Aaron Morley (Hibernian), Stuart White (Man Utd)

FORWARDS: Danny Loader (Reading), Reece Nicholls (Chelsea), Lawrence Warner (Liverpool)

 

There were no new additions to the England Under-19s squad before their European Championship Qualifiers. The usual cut from 23 players to 18 saw the axing of five unfortunate prospects - Terry Cowling, Morgan Gibbs-White, Adam Mingay, Tashan Oakley-Boothe and Jadon Sancho.

 

Reading striker Danny Loader was high on confidence, having recently scored on his Premier League debut as a substitute against Leicester City. Meanwhile, left-back Ryan Sessegnon was establishing himself with Championship high-flyers Sheffield Wednesday following his loan move from Manchester City.

[CFuller]

***

 

England's footballers returned to international duty on the morning of Monday 8 October. Nearly all the senior players had gathered at St George's Park by 9:00am to begin training ahead of the UEFA Nations League match against Russia.

 

Before the first training session kicked off, manager Mark Catterall told the players, "Right, lads. We're gonna do something a bit different before we begin."

 

Catterall then glanced briefly at David Platt before continuing, "One of our coaches thinks it's a good idea to do a roll call every morning."

 

Left-back Luke Shaw said, "Ah, like they used to do at school!"

 

Midfield destroyer Eric Dier was somewhat perplexed. "A roll call? What's the point? Can't you trust us to come to training on time?"

 

Catterall said, "I can trust you, but we'd like to make doubly sure that everyone's here. So, Warren..."

 

Warren Joyce - holding a clipboard and a pen - stated, "I'm gonna reel off your names in alphabetical order, got it? So first, we have Rolando Aarons..."

 

"Ahem," Callum Wilson interrupted. "Aren't I first alphabetically? C for Callum?"

 

"We're going by surnames, Cal," Joyce replied.

 

Aarons raised his hand and declared, "I'm here, Joycey."

 

Joyce ticked a box next to Aarons' name, and then continued, "Dele Alli?"

 

"Present," Alli nodded.

 

"Jack Butland?"

 

"I'm here," came the reply from the Stoke City goalkeeper.

 

"Gary Cahill?"

 

No response. Joyce asked again, "Is Gary here?"

 

Assistant manager Michael Burke handed Joyce a piece of paper. Alli asked, tongue-in-cheek, "That ain't a sick note from Gary's mum, is it?"

 

Joyce read the note, and then pulled a face as he passed it on to Catterall. The manager asked, "Cahill's gone AWOL?"

 

Burke explained, "Gary's partner phoned me yesterday. Apparently, the Russian Communist Party are holding a conference in Moscow this week, and they've decided to attend that."

 

Catterall growled, "Cheers, Mick... but I can read, thank you very much! So he's skipped England duty to attend a political summit? What the hell is wrong with him?!"

 

"Mrs Cahill says that he'll be coming to the UK on Saturday, so he can - and I quote - 'destroy the dirty capitalist Americans'. So at least he'll be able to play against the United States."

 

Catterall groaned, "But he's skipping the Russia game, which sounds oh-so-convenient."

 

Joyce said, "I'm not sure his heart's fully in it when it comes to England. If I were you, Mark, I'd think about whether he should even be in the squad at all."

 

"Can't we discuss that later? We've wasted about a minute of valuable training time already talking about this!"

 

Joyce nodded, "Okay," before resuming the roll call. "Nathaniel Clyne?"

 

An hour later, some of the England defenders were practicing throwing medicine balls to build their core strength. Manchester City defenders Michael Keane and John Stones seemed to particularly enjoy the exercise, often bantering with one another while doing so.

 

After one particularly weak throw from Stones, Keane quipped, "I guess that's why they call you Stones, right? Because they're the only things you can throw?"

 

"Put a sock in it, you Lancashire pansy," Yorkshireman Stones retorted to his Mancunian colleague.

 

"Stockport ain't in Lancashire, mate. It's in Cheshire."

 

"Whatever," Stones shrugged as he walked forward 10 metres. He then turned around and challenged Keane, "I bet a southern softy like you can't chuck it this far."

 

"You're on," Keane nodded.

 

"Careful, lads," Joyce warned. He pointed towards a walkway just behind Stones and said, "You don't wanna hit someone with that thing."

 

As it so happened, a small video crew were walking past, as a 20-something male presenter crowed in a south London accent, "Wassup, fam? It's your boy Tunde here, at ST GEORGE'S PARK, and I'm here with an EXCLUSIVE! That right there is the England footy team, and they're getting HYPED for Friday's MASSIVE Nations League game with RUSSIA!"

 

Keane eyed up Stones as he prepared to throw the ball. "You ready, Stonesy?"

 

"Ready when you are, Keano."

 

Keane powerfully launched the medicine ball into the air, calling out, "Heads up!" Stones was about to make a catch when he stumbled on the grass. Instead, the ball flew past him... and into the path of the video crew.

 

Keane cried out, "GET OUT THE WAY!" but it was too late. The ball collided with the video camera, knocking it from the camerawoman's hands and smashing it into the gravel.

 

"WHAT THE F***?" Tunde exclaimed as Keane rushed over and grovelled, "Oh my God, I'm so sorry!"

 

Tunde fumed, "You'd better be, bruv! That camera cost us 10 grand!"

 

"I'll pay for a new one," Keane insisted. "Honestly, I didn't mean it."

 

Stones backed him up, "It were an accident, an honest mistake. I were challenging Keano to throw t' ball as far as he could, but we didn't see you behind us."

 

Keane asked Tunde, "You cool now?"

 

Tunde sighed, "Yeah. We cool. These things happen."

 

As Tunde bumped fists with the apologetic Keane and Stones, Joyce jogged over and asked, "Everything okay over here?"

 

"It were an accident, Joycey," Stones replied. "We should've listened to you."

 

"Damn right, you should have" Joyce rebuked his defenders. "Mind you, I could've told Mark beforehand that we really should be doing these exercises indoors. We don't want anything like this to happen again in future."

 

Keane nodded, "That sounds like an idea."

 

Joyce then asked Tunde, "Out of curiosity, mate... what's this all about? Who're you working for?"

 

"BBC Three," Tunde replied. "We're doing a feature for the new series of Sportsround."

 

Joyce nodded, "I see. I don't normally watch BBC Three, but I'll look out for that show when it's next on." As the coach walked away, he muttered under his breath, "Not bloody likely."

[CFuller]

***

 

A packed week of home internationals for England began on 10 October, with the Under-19s welcoming Italy to Ewood Park in Blackburn. This was likely to be the most difficult of the Young Lions' three qualifiers in the UEFA European Under-19s Championship Qualifying Round. That said, if they could come away victorious, they would already be well-placed to advance to the Elite Round.

 

Italy would have been imposing enough for England had they been able to call upon 18-year-old Juventus wonderkid Moise Kean, who was still young enough to play at this level. However, the burly target man - who was out on loan at Genk - had been fast-tracked into the Azzurri's first-team. While his contemporaries were battling it out in Blackburn, Kean was winning his maiden senior cap in a 3-1 friendly win over Bosnia & Herzegovina in Udine.

 

England were also missing one of their strikers for at least this opening group fixture. Liverpool's Lawrence Warner has bruised his head in training and couldn't feature here, though he hoped to play some part in upcoming matches against Greece and San Marino.

 

It was the Azzurri who had the first chance to open the scoring on seven minutes. After midfielder Marcello Saia was upended by England left-back Ted Lapslie, Saia's Juventus team-mate Aldo Mortara lined up a free-kick on the edge of the hosts' 'D'. His free-kick swerved over the England wall and against the post before being hacked away by home captain Alistair Rattray.

 

Stuart White then had three shots at goal for England between the 10th and 14th minutes. All three went clean over the bar, and Azzurri goalkeeper Simone Ghidotti could be excused for cracking confident smiles afterwards.

 

The Italians went back on the offensive in the 18th minute. 17-year-old Saia ran onto a slide-rule pass from striker Flavio Junior Bianchi and then audaciously attempted to beat Steve Hilton from 35 yards out. In the end, the highly-rated Liverpool goalkeeper made a very comfortable catch.

 

The goalkeeping of Hilton's opposite number Ghidotti would look rather more suspect on 26 minutes. Italy's custodian misjudged his run towards a White free-kick, which Joe Wright beat him to and flicked towards a wide-open goal. Wright found his England centre-back partner Rattray, whose tap-in delighted the home fans. The Young Lions were 1-0 to the good.

 

Italy tried to counter England shortly before the break. In the 40th minute, midfield playmaker Saia cracked open the defence with a sublime ball to Mortara, who pulled his shot against the post when one-on-one with Hilton. Captain Rattray then made another important clearance to keep the Young Lions' noses in front.

 

England's defence were going a good job of frustrating the Italian attackers by sitting back and keeping it tight. The visitors' first shot after the second half kicked off was blasted wide from distance by Fiorentina's defensive midfielder Lorenzo Stocco in the 51st minute.

 

England attacks in the second period were few and far between. A wayward half-volley from Reading striker Danny Loader in the 59th minute was about as close as they would come to putting daylight between them and the Azzurri.

 

Italy's search for an equaliser would become increasing desperate during the closing half-hour. An encouraging passing move from the Azzurri on 65 minutes would end with Davide Paglia's drive being tipped over the bar by an unflappable Hilton. Left-back Mattia Pitzalis could only flick the subsequent Saia corner pitifully off target.

 

While Italy were rushing into their shots, England were playing it cool and calm. Their defence remained in tip-top form, with Liverpool defender Wright going on to pick up the 'man of the match' award, even after being booked for tripping Italy's substitute striker Pierluigi Capuano late on. Wright and company held firm for the final few minutes before the referee called time on a narrow 1-0 home win.

 

England had picked up three points from their opening fixture, as had Greece, who'd surprisingly only put two goals past Group 5 minnows San Marino. The two victors would meet a couple of days later, and whoever won that encounter would almost certainly be heading into the Elite Round without any problems.

 

10 October 2018: UEFA European Under-19s Championship Qualifying Group 5 - at Ewood Park, Blackburn

England U19s - 1 (Alistair Rattray 26)

Italy U19s - 0

ENGLAND U19s LINE-UP (4-2-3-1): Steve Hilton; Daniel Marshall, Joe Wright, Alistair Rattray, Ted Lapslie; Aaron Morley, Neil Campbell; John Harrison (Peter Turner), Stuart White (Reece Nicholls), Ryan Sessegnon (Charles Ameobi); Danny Loader. BOOKED: Campbell 76, Wright 90.

[CFuller]

***

 

England's Under-21s were closing in on qualification for the European Championship. Victories in their last two Group 5 matches at Norwich City's Carrow Road stadium would ensure that the Young Lions would advance to the continental finals for the seventh consecutive time.

 

The first of those crunch matches was likely to be a straightforward victory. Azerbaijan had lost all their previous eight qualifiers, conceding 28 goals and scoring only four. Their last meeting with England had resulted in a seven-goal destruction at the Young Lions' hands in Baku.

 

Manager Mark Catterall and head coach David Byrne expected a professional display from their young England team, who were looking to keep up with - if not overtake - group leaders France four days before their winner-takes-all meeting in Norfolk. The two foes were level on 21 points, with France narrowly leading on head-to-head. Les Bleus needed to win their penultimate game in Albania to stay in control of their destiny.

 

With the France game in mind, Catterall rested some of his key men for the meeting with Azerbaijan. As it transpired, the likes of Marcus Rashford, Patrick Roberts and Axel Tuanzebe would not be needed - not at all.

 

Azerbaijan tried to catch England napping in the very first minute, when Nicat Ähmädov found his midfield colleague Eltun Turabov running into the penalty area from the left. However, the offside flag went up against Turabov just as he knocked the ball down into the path of striker Fähmin Muradbäyli. That was about as good as things would get for the Milli.

 

Another preliminary attacking move from Azerbaijan broke down in the 12th minute, as Wolverhampton Wanderers midfielder Ainsley Maitland-Niles stopped visiting full-back Rüstäm Nurähmädov in his tracks. Maitland-Niles weighted a pass ahead of England captain Tammy Abraham on the right flank. Abraham then cut inside before teeing up his Chelsea club-mate Kasey Palmer with a cool finish - the first of many.

 

The Young Lions took just two minutes to reinforce their lead. Joe Gomez's long punt was taken on by Eddie Nketiah, whose first start for England Under-21s would get off to a great start. Arsenal's gifted teenage striker - on loan at Milton Keynes Dons - surged past Azerbaijan defender Salman Cäfärov and squared the ball across for Abraham to bury it into the net.

 

England could've grabbed another goal a minute after that. Gomez flicked Maitland-Niles' corner delivery to the back post, where his central defensive partner Reece Burke unfortunately volleyed it against the upright. The West Ham United defender would have to keep on waiting for his first international goal, but the hosts wouldn't have to wait much longer for their third of this match.

 

In the 20th minute, Nketiah ran onto another excellent long ball down the line, this time from Burke. He then produced a virtual carbon copy of the assist that had led to Abraham's first goal. The man that Catterall had affectionately named 'Kevin' would not waste this opportunity either. 3-0 to England.

 

Attempts to secure a hat-trick went awry for Abraham in the 21st and 24th minutes... but he would have better luck in the 27th. He secured his treble through yet another typical poacher's finish, which came from a wicked drilled cross by Leicester City left-back Ben Chilwell.

 

England now had a 4-0 lead, and Abraham had notched up all but one of their goals. His treble took him up to 14 goals in a mere 23 caps for England's Under-21s. Only his colleague Rashford had ever scored more for the Young Lions at that level.

 

If anyone thought Abraham would rest after wrapping up his hat-trick, the Reading loanee would prove them wrong after half an hour. Nketiah was unfortunate to see his header from Palmer's corner rattle the crossbar, but Abraham's predatory instincts enabled him to volley home the rebound.

 

Another minute passed before England stretched their lead further still. Azerbaijan goalkeeper Kamran Ibrahimov could do little about Abraham's bullet header from another delightful Nketiah cross, which delivered him his fifth goal - and the Young Lions' SIXTH! It wasn't even half-time, and even more incredibly, the scoring would not stop before then!

 

After four assists on his full Under-21s debut, Nketiah arguably deserved a goal of his own. He reaped the rewards in the 37th minute, racing past Cäfärov to nod in full-back Trent Alexander-Arnold's delivery from the right flank.

 

The half-time score read England 7, Azerbaijan 0. The Young Lions had matched the scoreline they defeated the Milli by in Baku... but although the result was most definitely in the bag, they wanted even goals this time around. There would be no mercy shown in the second period.

 

The last thing Azerbaijan wanted to happen when they were already on a hiding to nothing was to lose a key man through injury. Their worst fears were realised in the 52nd minute, when Cäfärov twisted sharply on his right foot after an aerial clash with Nketiah. He would be substituted off a few minutes later, but his replacement by fellow centre-half Äli Sämädov didn't so much paper over the cracks in Azerbaijan's defence as cover them in Blu-Tack.

 

A fantastic low save from Ibrahimov on 61 minutes denied Abraham what would've been an incredible double hat-trick. There was to be no sixth goal for Abraham in this second half, but England's scoring machine would shortly be powered up again.

 

Palmer's 66th-minute free-kick was met by an exquisite flick-on from Gomez into Azerbaijan's six-yard box. Waiting there was Everton centre-back Mason Holgate, who'd replaced Burke at half-time. This was the Yorkshireman's 17th cap for England Under-21s, and a well-taken finish brought him his first goal. It was now 8-0 to the Young Lions.

 

Holgate would later be joined in the defence by his Everton team-mate Brendan Galloway. Catterall and Byrne had hoped that they wouldn't need to bring Galloway on from the bench before the final qualifier against France, but a thigh injury to left-back Chilwell forced their hands.

 

England then went through another mini-drought before moving into a 9-0 lead in the 87th minute. It was yet another Palmer free-kick that did the damage, as the attacking midfielder swung the ball over to Abraham, who teed up Holgate for a straightforward tap-in.

 

As the match entered injury time, England continued to relentlessly pursue goals. They would pass double figures in the first additional minute, when another Everton prospect - midfielder Tom Davies - took Maitland-Niles' cross on the bounce and floated it beautifully beyond the reach of Ibrahimov.

 

A 10-0 defeat was humiliating enough for Azerbaijan, but play had barely restarted when they found themselves on the cusp of conceding again! Ähmädov tripped Maitland-Niles from behind just inside the Milli's area, prompting the referee to award England a penalty.

 

Captain Abraham could've easily taken this spot-kick himself for the chance to notch up his sixth goal of the afternoon. Instead, he sportingly offered Holgate the chance to follow in his footsteps and become a hat-trick hero. The defender would never have expected to score three goals in a single match before he comfortably sent Ibrahimov the wrong way, thus putting the seal on an astonishing 11-0 victory for England!

 

The match statistics further illustrated how embarrassingly one-sided this so-called contest had been. England had notched up 35 shots on goal, 17 of which were on target. They had enjoyed 61% of possession and completed almost exactly double as many passes as Azerbaijan, who didn't even rack up a single corner, let alone a shot at goal. In boxing terms, it was akin to pitting Anthony Joshua against a flyweight.

 

England were applauded off the Carrow Road pitch after the biggest victory they had ever mustered at Under-21s level, surpassing their nine-goal wipeout of San Marino in 2013. The players' and fans' delight would grow when they learned of what had happened in Albania.

 

France had taken 53 minutes to break the deadlock against Albania in Elbasan through Saint-Étienne's Neal Maupay. Six minutes later, Fabio Sakaj got an unlikely equaliser for the hosts, who then battened down the hatches and held firm for a 1-1 draw.

 

England had moved to the top of Group 5, two points ahead of France in the lead-up to their qualification decider at Carrow Road on 15 October. England now knew that they needed only a draw against Les Bleus to qualify for next summer's finals in Italy. A home defeat would force them into the play-offs again.

 

11 October 2018: UEFA European Under-21s Championship Qualifying Group 5 - at Carrow Road, Norwich

England U21s - 11 (Kasey Palmer 12, Tammy Abraham 14,20,27,30,31, Eddie Nketiah 37, Mason Holgate 67,87,pen90+2, Tom Davies 90+1)

Azerbaijan U21s - 0

ENGLAND U21s LINE-UP (4-3-1-2): Bailey Peacock-Farrell; Trent Alexander-Arnold, Reece Burke (Mason Holgate), Joe Gomez, Ben Chilwell (Brendan Galloway); Ainsley Maitland-Niles, Tom Davies, Joshua Onomah; Kasey Palmer; Tammy Abraham, Eddie Nketiah (Reiss Nelson). BOOKED: Burke 45.

[CFuller]

***

 

England may have started the UEFA European Under-19s Championship qualifiers with a narrow win over Italy, but that result could've been rendered meaningless had they failed to keep the momentum up in their next game. Greece were not a team to be easily discounted, and there was no reason why they could not shock the hosts in Blackburn.

 

With both teams having won their Group 5 openers, another victory here for either side would all but see them into the Elite Round. With around 4,000 spectators - including manager Mark Catterall - at Ewood Park to roar them on, the Young Lions were determined that it would be they who prevailed.

 

England striker Danny Loader's first pop at goal was a loada rubbish. His powerful strike from the edge of the Greek area in the sixth minute failed to remotely trouble goalkeeper Vladimiros Voutsakelis, sailing well off target.

 

Loader's next effort three minutes later was much improved, as he incisively finished from an excellent through-ball by midfielder Alfie Davidson to wrap up his first international goal. Admittedly, the shot did go in off Voutsakelis' gloves, but it was still a reason to celebrate.

 

Loader would double his and England's tally on 11 minutes, and in a more convincing manner too. Lawrence Warner marked his first appearance of the competition with an excellent right-wing cross to the Reading poacher, who beat out Greece captain Paraschos Chantzaras to nod it home.

 

Warner hoped to set up another goal for Loader in the 19th minute. Despite temporarily losing the ball to Greece's left-back Marios Tsaousis, he quickly secured it again and swung the ball in to 5ft 9in Loader, who beat 6ft 2in Chantzaras to another header. Unlike the first one, though, this attempt was just off target.

 

Another England man who used his head to devastating effect was Davidson in the 23rd minute. The hard-working Leicester City midfielder, who'd started his professional career at Bristol City, connected with an excellent free-kick from White that looped beyond the reach of Voutsakelis.

 

After taking a three-goal lead, the Young Lions seemed to lose a bit of concentration. A close-range free-kick from Alexis Siokos didn't threaten their net in the 37th minute, but when Siokos played Greece team-mate Giannis Pastromas through on goal three minutes later, it looked like the Galanolefki would score. That was until Joe Wright came in with an excellent defensive interception for England, who would take their clean sheet into the second half.

 

Greece had two players booked in a first half where nothing had gone their way. The second half began with an ominous booking for England, as Davidson saw yellow in the 47th minute for a trip on Greek right-back Antonis Balatsouras.

 

Six minutes after that, captain Chantzaras finally won a header for Greece, nodding away Neil Campbell's wasted corner to kick off a counter-attack for the away side. That move would end with left-winger Miltos Pangouras taking the ball up the flank and squaring it to substitute striker Lefteris Papadopoulos, who beat Hilton with consummate ease. England's lead had been cut to 3-1.

 

Moments after watching his team concede their first goal of the Qualifying Round, a frustrated Wright stuck out his leg to bring down Papadopoulos. The Liverpool centre-half received his second yellow card of the competition, which meant he would be suspended from England's final group match against San Marino.

 

The Young Lions now sensed that they had to score again to alleviate any fears of a full-scale comeback from the Greeks. Davidson could've joined Loader on two goals in the 71st minute, but his attempted piledriver was blocked by Chantzaras, who'd seemingly become a different man for Greece after the break.

 

England had their next defensive scare on 74 minutes, when Tsaousis' drive towards Hilton's right-hand corner was pushed behind by the Scouse shotstopper. That said, there wasn't a lot Hilton could've done to keep Greece's next shot out of his net. Four minutes before full-time, Papadopoulos slotted a pass from Charalabos Domazos into the left-hand corner of Hilton's net. England couldn't really throw away a 3-0 lead, could they?

 

No, they couldn't. Indeed, Arsenal left-winger Charles Ameobi was just inches away from increasing their final winning scoreline from 3-2 to 4-2 in injury time. That said, England's Under-19s had once again failed to score in the second half of a match. They had won their first four games under new head coach Ledley King purely on the back of goals scored in the first period.

 

Though serious questions were being raised about the Young Lions' stamina, they had nevertheless come away with the desired result. Their qualification for the Elite Round would be confirmed a few hours later, following Italy's comfortable 3-0 win over San Marino.

 

While Italy and Greece would squabble over second place in the final round of group fixtures, England could take it easy against San Marino. Barring an incredible result for the Sammarinese, the Young Lions would be completing the Qualifying Round as winners of Group 5.

 

12 October 2018: UEFA European Under-19s Championship Qualifying Group 5 - at Ewood Park, Blackburn

Greece U19s - 2 (Lefteris Papadopoulos 54,86)

England U19s - 3 (Danny Loader 9,11, Alfie Davidson 23)

ENGLAND U19s LINE-UP (4-2-3-1): Steve Hilton; Peter Turner, Joel Latibeaudiere, Joe Wright (Alistair Rattray), Ryan Sessegnon; Neil Campbell (Aaron Morley), Alfie Davidson; Lawrence Warner (John Harrison), Stuart White, Charles Ameobi; Danny Loader. BOOKED: Davidson 47, Wright 54, Turner 76.

 

Almost as soon as the full-time whistle blew, Catterall swiftly made his way out of Ewood Park. Having seen his Under-19s grab a win, he now wanted to oversee another, more significant victory at senior level.

 

Catterall had chartered a helicopter to pick him up just outside the ground and take him on a 90-minute flight to Wembley. The 90 minutes that would follow against Russia had the potential to either make or break England's UEFA Nations League campaign.

[CFuller]

***

 

Mark Catterall safely arrived at Wembley Stadium a little over half an hour before his England senior team were due to play their first home match in the UEFA Nations League. He then greeted his coaching staff and players in the dressing room as they made their final preparations for the meeting with Russia.

 

This match marked the halfway point for Division A Group 3. France and Russia had already racked up a win apiece, and England needed to beat the latter here to join them on three points. Were the Three Lions to win by at least two goals, they would move to the top of the group on goal difference.

 

Russia were ranked 25th in the world and had been eliminated in the Round of 16 at the FIFA World Cup - by none other than France, whom they would take revenge on in the Nations League opener in September. Almost all their players were based at home, with the exception of left-back Georgy Schennikov, who'd recently left CSKA Moscow to join Serie A side Sassuolo.

 

Of course, Gary Cahill was now based in Russia, and he counted visiting goalkeeper Igor Akinfeev and midfielder Alan Dzagoev amongst his new team-mates at CSKA Moscow. However, the former Chelsea stopper was unavailable, with the Football Association declining to publicly explain why. In Cahill's absence, Catterall kept faith in Manchester City's central defensive duo Michael Keane and John Stones, who were flanked by Luke Shaw and Kyle Walker.

 

It was right-back Walker who had England's first chance to score in the third minute. Following hardman Dzagoev's foul on Harry Kane deep in the Russian half, Walker fired the free-kick over the visitors' wall... and over Akinfeev's crossbar.

 

Two minutes later, England midfielder Eric Dier tripped Oleg Shatov just when a Russian counter-attack was in full flow. Dier picked up an early yellow card and would be left walking a fine line for the remainder of this match.

 

In the seventh minute, however, Dier made amends by scoring the opener from an excellent move that involved all three Tottenham Hotspur players in this England XI. Walker punted the ball upfield from the centre circle to Kane, who beat out Dzagoev to knock a header down to Dier. The 24-year-old then blasted in an absolute howitzer from 25 yards out, making it 1-0 to the Three Lions.

 

Kane was unlucky not to get his name on the scoresheet in the 11th minute. He latched onto a short pass from Demarai Gray and blasted it first-time from the edge of the Russian area, only to see Akinfeev tip his effort over the bar. Five minutes after that, Gray set up an opportunity for attacking midfielder Jack Wilshere, who cut inside before pulling his shot wide.

 

It had been more than a year since Russia last kept a clean sheet, and despite their poor defensive record, they did a reasonable job of restricting England to just one first-half goal. However, a high foul count was a minor concern for head coach Stanislav Cherchesov, who saw middlemen Dzagoev and Denis Glushakov pick up yellow cards before the interval.

 

Russia's best opportunity to equalise prior to the break had come in the 34th minute. FC Krasnodar striker Fedor Smolov, who'd been the Russian Premier League's top scorer in two of the previous three seasons, almost beat Joe Hart with a vicious strike that flew just over the England keeper's bar.

 

England returned for the second half having made one change in personnel, with Tottenham playmaker Dele Alli replacing a very disappointing Wilshere. The opening minute of that half hadn't even expired when the Three Lions won a free-kick in a dangerous position. Unfortunately for them, Gray's attempt went over.

 

Cherchesov had also made one substitution between halves, and he would make his second change after 51 minutes, sending right-winger Maxim Kanunnikov on for Alexandr Kokorin. Just four minutes after coming on, Kanunnikov became the third Russian to receive a yellow card from Italian referee Daniele Orsato, following a careless trip on England forward Nathan Redmond.

 

The visitors started to pose more of an attacking threat to England in the 67th minute. Smolov's through-ball to substitute Roman Zobnin was met by a shot that deflected off Stones' thigh before Hart caught the rebound.

 

England captain Henderson was booked in the 73rd minute following a foul on Dzagoev. Immediately after that, Catterall took off his midfield colleague Dier to bring on another Tottenham man in James Ward-Prowse, who won just his sixth senior cap. The sixth member of the Spurs contingent in this England team - left-back Danny Rose - would also get a brief run-out after Shaw tired himself out towards the end.

 

In the 80th minute, shortly before Rose's introduction, his team-mate Walker threw himself in front of an attempted cross from Russian left-winger Konstantin Rausch. However, Walker could only deflect the ball into the path of Spartak Moscow midfielder Zobnin, who attempted a vicious strike that went high into the stands.

 

Five minutes before full-time, England set out to finish the game off. Alli dribbled up the right flank and evaded a slide tackle from Schennikov before drifting a cross into the box. He found Kane, who then teed up Gray for a calmly-taken strike that slipped beyond Akinfeev and into the far corner. That was the young Leicester City winger's third senior goal for England, but his first in a little over a year.

 

In the previous matches in Group 3, Russia had beaten France 2-1, and France had in turn beaten England 2-1. If the pattern was to continue, Russia had to get a consolation goal in the closing moments. Sadly, for fans of uncanny symmetry, that was not to happen.

 

Kane's two assists would see him named man of the match, but he could have easily finished the match by getting his name on the scoreboard. The big chance to do that came from an injury-time cross by Walker that Kane flicked just the wrong side of Akinfeev's left-hand post.

 

A 2-0 win over Russia sent England to the summit of Group 3, making them the slightest of favourites to qualify for the summer's Nations League Semi Finals. At this stage, however, it was virtually impossible to predict just who in this group would finish top and reach the play-offs, who'd finish bottom suffer relegation from Division A, and who would simply enjoy the stability 2nd place brought.

 

Russia would now be heading to Paris for their next Nations League meeting with France four days later. Meanwhile, England would prepare for their last two group matches in November with a home friendly against the United States.

 

12 October 2018: UEFA Nations League Division A Group 3 - at Wembley, London

England - 2 (Eric Dier 7, Demarai Gray 85)

Russia - 0

ENGLAND LINE-UP (4-2-3-1): Joe Hart; Kyle Walker, Michael Keane, John Stones, Luke Shaw (Danny Rose); Jordan Henderson, Eric Dier (James Ward-Prowse); Demarai Gray, Jack Wilshere (Dele Alli), Nathan Redmond; Harry Kane. BOOKED: Dier 5, Henderson 73.

 

Catterall had another post-match interview with ITV's Gabriel Clarke, who began, "After the disappointment of France, Mark, you must surely be happy to see England bounce back with a convincing win?"

 

The England boss slowly shook his head and said, "It wasn't convincing at all, Gabriel. Russia did not make it easy for us at all out there, and we had to use up a bit more energy to beat them than we thought we would."

 

"What did you think of the goals from Eric Dier and Demarai Gray, though? Would you say that Dier's opener was particularly thrilling to watch?

 

Catterall smiled wryly as he replied, "That was a good one, yes. I actually enjoyed Demarai's goal a bit more, as it was a fantastic team move that led to it. To tell you the truth, though, I don't care if we score a screamer from 40 yards out or a scuffed shot from four yards out, as long as we find that net."

 

"Harry Kane was the man of the match. Your thoughts on his performance tonight?"

 

"A little underwhelming, to tell you the truth," Catterall admitted. "Yes, he did set up Demarai's goal, but Harry wasn't all that imposing up front for us tonight. He missed a few good opportunities that could have put us in a more comfortable position at full-time."

 

Clarke was in the middle of asking another question when he was interrupted by BBC Three presenter Tunde, whose camera had accidentally been broken by Keane earlier in the week. Tunde barged in with his film crew and declared, "There's my main fam, Mark Catts! You da man, bruv! What a result!"

 

Catterall smiled uneasily as a disgruntled Clarke exclaimed, "Excuse me, mate? We're right in the middle of an interview here!"

 

"You've had your go, old man," Tunde retorted as he shooed Clarke away. "It's my turn to ask questions now!"

 

Catterall asked, "Can't you wait until the press conference like everyone else?"

 

"Sorry, man, but this has gotta go out in, like, an hour, else nobody at the Beeb ain't interested."

 

"It's not about the Keano incident, is it?" Catterall sighed.

 

"No, mate. This is a question all the 17 peeps who watch BBC Three wanna know right here, right now. Who's the best Fortnite player on your team... and who's got the sickest victory dance?"

 

With the ITV cameras still rolling, Clarke impatiently hissed at the producer, "Peter! Cut back to Mark and the boys in the studio! NOW!"

[CFuller]

***

 

England's Under-19s were already safely into the European Under-19s Championship Elite Round when they played their final Qualifying Round group game against San Marino at Ewood Park. They were now looking to wrap up the first phase of a competition with a third straight victory.

 

Earlier in the day, Italy had secured their qualification for the Elite Round in dramatic fashion, defeating Greece 2-1 with a 90th-minute winner from Matteo Amoruso. They would finish second in Group 5 behind England, unless San Marino could cause an almighty shock against the Three Lions, in which case the Azzurri would steal top spot.

 

A victory for San Marino would not have been a mean feat, considering that they hadn't even scored in either of their previous two group fixtures. That said, La Serenissima did give their hosts a minor scare in the second minute. Winger Roberto Selva played a free-kick short to striker Andrea Toccaceli, who struck a vicious shot that rebounded off England midfielder Aaron Morley before being caught by goalkeeper Josh Vokes.

 

Normal service then got underway, with England putting together a string of threatening attacks. They didn't hit the target until Lawrence Warner's effort was brilliantly pushed behind by Sammarinese goalie Alberto Tini in the 12th minute.

 

San Marino won their first (and only) corner a couple of minutes after that, but they were very quickly exposed by an England counter-attack. Reece Nicholls crossed from the right flank to playmaker Stuart White, whose deft touch found Morley in space and set up a very comfortable opening goal from Hibernian's on-loan Brighton & Hove Albion midfielder.

 

Manchester United starlet White would set up another goal in the 16th minute. His corner was headed in at the near post by Southampton centre-back Alistair Rattray, who'd been gaining invaluable experience on loan at League One side Peterborough United this term. That was Rattray's second goal of the qualifiers, having previously scored the winner in the Young Lions' opening group match against Italy.

 

White sought a hat-trick of assists through another corner in the 24th minute. On that occasion, though, Warner met the ball with what was a rather disappointing header by the Liverpool forward's standards.

 

Chelsea striker Nicholls then had a handful of shots either saved or blocked before finally striking lucky four minutes from time. The assist on that occasion came from Arsenal left-winger Charles Ameobi, who calmly drilled the ball across for Nicholls to dispatch it past Tini.

 

England were 3-0 up at half-time... and if their recent second-half form suggested anything, it was that the scoring would end there. Against a pitifully out-of-depth San Marino team, though, there wasn't much chance of the Young Lions not finding the net again after the restart.

 

Eight minutes into the second period, Warner played a clever one-two with Nicholls before advancing up the right flank. He then drilled the ball across the Sammarinese penalty area to find his opposite winger Ameobi, whose first international goal was about as easy as they came. 4-0 to the Young Lions.

 

San Marino could now play without any pressure, as if that wasn't the case anyway. When striker Michele Tamagnini had a shot caught by Vokes in the 57th minute, the very small Sammarinese contingent who'd travelled to Blackburn celebrated wildly as if they had actually scored!

 

England's goal glut would continue three minutes later. White was heavily involved yet again, as he played the ball out wide to Warner, who drifted through the area and towards the byline. Warner then skilfully cut the ball back for Morley to hammer in his second goal of the evening.

 

Nicholls had a couple of chances to emulate Morley's brace shortly after that fifth England goal. Though a 40-yard shot in the 60th minute never looked like finding the net, he almost succeeded from the edge of the box 12 minutes later.

 

One player who did secure his double, after 79 minutes, was Ameobi. Substitute forward Danny Loader's cross found right-back Peter Turner, whose shot deflected off visiting defender Gabriele Tini for Ameobi to score.

 

Liverpool team-mates Warner and John Harrison would later have shots saved by Alberto Tini as England sought to finish with yet another goal. Winger Harrison was the architect of the Young Lions' seventh and final strike after 87 minutes, as his cross from the right was headed home by hat-trick hero Ameobi. This second half had very much been dominated by the highly-rated 17-year-old from west London.

 

14 October 2018: UEFA European Under-19s Championship Qualifying Group 5 - at Ewood Park, Blackburn

England U19s - 7 (Aaron Morley 14,60, Alistair Rattray 16, Reece Nicholls 41, Charles Ameobi 53,79,88)

San Marino U19s - 0

ENGLAND U19s LINE-UP (4-2-3-1): Josh Vokes; Daniel Marshall, Joel Latibeaudiere, Alistair Rattray (Peter Turner), Ted Lapslie; Neil Campbell, Aaron Morley; Lawrence Warner, Stuart White (Danny Loader), Charles Ameobi; Reece Nicholls (John Harrison). BOOKED: Marshall 22.

 

2019 UEFA European Under-19s Championship Qualifying Group 5 (Final Standings)

                                   P     W     D     L     F     A     GD    PTS
1.    Q     England U19s           3     3     0     0     11    2     9     9
2.    Q     Italy U19s             3     2     0     1     5     2     3     6
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
3.          Greece U19s            3     1     0     2     5     5     0     3
4.          San Marino U19s        3     0     0     3     0     12    -12   0

 

England were the only team to reach double figures on goals during the European Championship Qualifying Round. They would be firmly amongst the favourites to progress to the finals themselves in Armenia, but a very troublesome Elite Round draw would put that tag in doubt.

 

The Young Lions had been paired into Group 2 alongside Sweden, Switzerland and Turkey - three other teams who had qualified from the Qualifying Round unbeaten. Ledley King's team would travel to Switzerland for their opening fixture on 25 March, followed by a return to Blackburn to face Sweden on 29 March, and then another away game against Turkey on 2 April.

 

If England Under-19s were to reach back-to-back European Championships, they would have to do it the hard way.

[CFuller]

***

 

It was crunch time for England's Under-21s. One final match, against the mighty France at Carrow Road, would decide if they would automatically qualify for the European Championship in Italy. If they didn't, they would have to try and sneak in through the back door of November's play-offs.

 

The previous round of fixtures had seen England take top spot in Group 5 ahead of France, whose charge towards qualification had faltered of late. The Young Lions now needed either a draw or a victory against Les Bleus to ensure that they would progress to yet another European Championship tournament. A defeat would send France through instead and force England into a play-off situation similar to what they had faced before the 2017 finals.

 

The commute from Burton-upon-Trent to Norwich was becoming a regular one for England manager Mark Catterall. While he'd sat in the Carrow Road stands for the Under-21s' previous (mis)match there against Azerbaijan, he decided to join head coach David Byrne in the dugout this time around.

 

Catterall had taken a significant gamble in his team selection for this most crucial of matches. Nine members of England's starting XI were as would normally be expected. The odd two players out were Josh Tymon, who deputised for the injured Ben Chilwell at left-back, and Reiss Nelson, who made his first start for England Under-21s on the left wing. Despite scoring five goals against Azerbaijan, captain Tammy Abraham was benched.

 

England wanted an early goal to settle their nerves and take control of proceedings. They certainly went the right way about things to begin with, racking up a couple of corners in the first few minutes. However, they failed to convert either of them into scoring chances, and they would be punished for that in the seventh minute.

 

France's first real attack in this match began with goalkeeper Anthony Maisonnial pumping the ball long into the Young Lions' half. England defender Brendan Galloway missed his interception, allowing Caen striker Yann Karamoh to race through and take the ball into the penalty area. Karamoh then calmly squared a pass to his strike partner - Saint-Étienne's Neal Maupay, who comfortably beat Freddie Woodman and broke the deadlock.

 

As things stood, France were heading to the finals. They sat back a bit deeper to protect their lead, with left-back Malang Sarr deflecting an 11th-minute shot from England's Patrick Roberts into the hands of his keeper Maisonnial.

 

Maisonnial would remain cool and composed midway through the half, which wasn't bad going for someone who was making his Under-21s debut for Les Bleus. The 20-year-old - also of Saint-Étienne - made light work of a shot from Kasey Palmer in the 22nd minute, and then caught a couple of attempts from Rashford in the 26th and 29th.

 

A frustrating period in the match for England continued after 34 minutes. Roberts collected a throw-in from right-back Mason Holgate - fresh from his shock hat-trick against Azerbaijan - and drilled it across the French penalty area for Palmer. But for a fantastic block by France's VfB Stuttgart defender Jérôme Onguéné, Palmer might well have equalised.

 

Liverpool midfielder Nicolas Janvier missed a chance to double France's lead before the hosts launched another offensive on 38 minutes. Palmer found Holgate unchallenged on the right flank, and the Everton defender swung in a fantastic delivery that evaded Onguéné before being met by a tame but accurate half-volley from Rashford. With that strike, the match was back level... but not for long.

 

Karamoh eyed up a quick riposte from Les Bleus on 40 minutes. His strike clattered off Galloway before being safely picked up by Woodman. England then went up the other end and won a corner, from which they would take the lead a minute later.

 

Roberts tried to swing the corner to Galloway at the near post, only to see France winger Jonathan Ikoné head it away. Fortunately for England, the ball fell to Tottenham Hotspur's Joshua Onomah, whose half-volley bounced off Les Bleus midfielder Olivier Ntcham and deflected to Arsenal's teenage winger Reiss Nelson. The former Norwich City loanee - now plying his trade for local rivals Ipswich Town - fired his shot in off Maisonnial's gloves to send the home fans at Carrow Road wild!

 

England had a 2-1 lead and were now firmly on course to top the group. Then, in the 43rd minute, they were gifted an opportunity to further strengthen their position. Rashford was tripped just inside the French area by visiting captain Issa Diop as both men chased after a long ball down the line from Tymon. That prompted the referee to award England a penalty.

 

It was Rashford who had been the catalyst for England's qualification for the last European Under-21s Championship, with his incredible comeback hat-trick in the play-off with Serbia. The Manchester United striker was a man for the big occasion, and he would thrive on the pressure again here. Maisonnial was sent the wrong way as Rashford made it 3-1 to the Young Lions.

 

France now needed to score three goals in the second half if they were to qualify for the Euros at England's expense. Four minutes after the restart, Lille right-back Yan Valery - on loan from Southampton - pulled wide an opportunity to start the fightback.

 

France coach Claude Makélélé later tried to reinvigorate his attack with the introduction of three substitutes at the same time. Guingamp winger Ludovic Blas, Celta Vigo striker Maxwel Cornet and Eibar midfielder Christopher Nkunku all came on at the expense of Jeff Reine-Adelaide, Maupay and Janvier. Nkunku almost made an immediate impact, sending a 58th-minute free-kick over the bar following Tymon's trip on Valery.

 

While Makélélé had put more emphasis on attack, he still needed his defence to hold firm if Les Bleus' mission wasn't to become even more difficult. The coach was very thankful, then, to see Maisonnial prevent Galloway and then Roberts from extending England's lead midway through the second period.

 

England kept spurning opportunities to finish the game off until a well-worked French move five minutes before the end put their qualification under real scrutiny. Nkunku passed a free-kick to Cornet just outside the England 'D', but the Ivorian-born forward was stopped by a slide tackle from Holgate. A quick-thinking Nkunku retook the ball and played it to France's other substitute Blas, who dribbled round England midfielder Lewis Cook and blasted in an excellent shot from an acute angle.

 

The Young Lions were still leading 3-2 and still on course to qualify, unless France could score twice more in what little time remained. Desperate to avert a late collapse, Catterall furiously roared at his players to concentrate and not allow France any more scoring opportunities. They wouldn't.

 

Though midfield substitute Ainsley Maitland-Niles had to block a shot from Nkunku in injury time, the closing stages were otherwise surprisingly stress-free for the home fans. The final whistle was blown a few minutes later, with a 3-2 win confirming that England had qualified for the European Under-21s Championship once again. If France were to join them at next summer's tournament in Italy, they would need to get through a play-off against Sweden.

 

The Young Lions had scored exactly 50 goals en route to qualification, with no other nation even getting close to that haul. Abraham and Rashford had shared 22 of England's goals, outscoring all but 11 teams by themselves! When it came to assists, Roberts was top of the pile with nine.

 

England also had a rather mean defence, with only five teams bettering their record of six goals conceded. On that form, the Young Lions would surely take some stopping come the finals. Indeed, many punters were backing the 2017 runners-up to go one step further in 2019.

 

15 October 2018: UEFA European Under-21s Championship Qualifying Group 5 - at Carrow Road, Norwich

England U21s - 3 (Marcus Rashford 38,pen43, Reiss Nelson 41)

France U21s - 2 (Neal Maupay 7, Ludovic Blas 85)

ENGLAND U21s LINE-UP (4-2-3-1): Freddie Woodman; Mason Holgate, Axel Tuanzebe, Brendan Galloway, Josh Tymon; Joshua Onomah (Ainsley Maitland-Niles), Lewis Cook; Patrick Roberts (Joe Rankin-Costello), Kasey Palmer (Sheyi Ojo), Reiss Nelson; Marcus Rashford.

 

2019 UEFA European Under-21s Championship Qualifying Group 5 (Final Standings)

                                   P     W     D     L     F     A     GD    PTS
1.    Q     England U21s           10    9     0     1     50    6     44    27
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
2.    Pl    France U21s            10    7     1     2     31    11    20    22
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
3.          Scotland U21s          10    5     1     4     12    17    -5    16
4.          Albania U21s           10    3     3     4     12    18    -6    12
5.          Latvia U21s            10    3     1     6     11    28    -17   10
6.          Azerbaijan U21s        10    0     0     10    4     40    -36   0

 

[CFuller]

***

 

A thrilling and hugely successful week for England's football teams on home soil culminated in the senior side hosting the United States at Wembley Stadium.

 

This match was a big deal on both sides of the pond, with both countries having major political leaders in attendance at Wembley. Prime Minister Jeremy Corbyn shared a VIP box with US Vice President Mike Pence, though the vast ideological differences between the two men made for some uncomfortable tension when they shook hands before kick-off.

 

Whoever was in charge of the pre-match music at the stadium obviously had a wicked sense of humour. As Pence took his seat, the PA announcer blared out the track "Make America Great Again", as performed by the English folk singer Frank Turner. The chorus to that song went, "Let's make America great again, by making racists ashamed again. Let's make compassion in fashion again."

 

This would be the first meeting between England and the USA since the 2010 FIFA World Cup Group Stage. Back then, Steven Gerrard had given the Three Lions a very early lead in Rustenburg, only for goalkeeper Robert Green to roll American winger Clint Dempsey's shot into his own net just before half-time. The match finished level at 1-1, but the United States went on to win the group.

 

Both teams were almost unrecognisable from those that had come face-to-face eight years earlier. American captain Michael Bradley was his team's lone survivor from that last encounter. He was part of a midfield line that also featured Tottenham Hotspur's wonderkid wideman Christian Pulisic, who won his 36th international cap just one month after exiting his teenage years.

 

Pulisic had a host of Tottenham team-mates in the England squad, but only one of them - left-back Danny Rose - featured from the start. Manager Mark Catterall named a starting line-up that was a bit of a mish-mash, with Stoke City's Jack Butland earning just his ninth cap in goal. It remained to be seen whether uncapped Sunderland keeper Jordan Pickford would replace him at some point to make his international debut.

 

Since Tim Howard's retirement in 2017, goalkeeping duties for the USMNT had largely fallen to the Mexican-based William Yarbrough. He was called into action just five minutes into this match, tipping over a dangerous whipped cross from Rose. A minute later, Texan centre-back Omar González got in the way of a shot from England playmaker Jack Wilshere.

 

Callum Wilson then missed a couple of early chances for England, but another of the 'new generation' in this Three Lions team would get on the mark after 16 minutes. Rolando Aarons might not have been in the best of form for Newcastle United, but the 22-year-old winger was still confident enough to bury a Rose cross that slid across the American penalty area.

 

Rose's crossing could've set up another England goal in the 24th minute. On that occasion, though, Wilson's volley went high over the bar, with González thankful that his missed interception didn't prove costly. A minute later, Yarbrough showed coolness under pressure to catch Chris Smalling's header from a Wilshere free-kick.

 

England's quick and aggressive play was overwhelming the United States, who would falter again in the 29th minute. Borussia Mönchengladbach's left-back Fabian Johnson - one of several German-born players in Team USA - was beaten to a Wilshere through-ball by the quicksilver Aarons, who slipped it past Yarbrough for his brace.

 

After taking a two-goal lead, England could easily have run riot. Wilshere was passing the ball around as fluently as he had done at the last World Cup, and he was unlucky not to rack up a second assist after 35 minutes. The Arsenal midfielder teed up an opportunity for Wilson, who pulled it well off target.

 

The latter stages of the first half also saw a couple of narrow misses from Leicester City forward Demarai Gray before the referee called half-time. Had this been a boxing match, the ref might well have stopped the fight, because although the USA weren't quite out for the count, they were receiving quite the pummelling.

 

Jamie Vardy replaced the lacklustre Wilson during the interval, but it was another Leicester man who would have England's next shot on target. In the 54th minute, Gray played a delicate square pass to club-mate Danny Drinkwater, whose 20-yard attempt at his maiden England goal ended up safely in the hands of Yarbrough.

 

As far as the United States' frontmen were concerned, neither Aron Jóhannsson nor Bobby Wood had posed any threat to England during the first half. Wood was replaced with ex-Sunderland flop Jozy Altidore at the interval, while Jóhannsson made way for Los Angeles Galaxy's Gyasi Zardes just before the hour mark.

 

Zardes would have his first shot at goal after 65 minutes. It went nowhere near the target, as Manchester United defender Smalling came forward to divert it away and keep England's clean sheet intact. This was turning into a surprisingly quiet evening for Butland, who - as it turned out - would get the full 90 minutes after all. Pickford's senior international bow would have to wait for another time.

 

Aarons' first England hat-trick would also not be coming just yet. A couple of excellent Yarbrough saves in the 71st and 72nd minute denied the Jamaican-born sensation what would've been a very special moment in a Three Lions career that hadn't quite completed its first year.

 

As time wore on, the hosts started to take a few liberties defensively. One particularly lax interception from CSKA Moscow defender Gary Cahill of a long ball by the USA's debutant centre-half Erik Palmer-Brown in the 89th minute would prove costly.

 

Cahill could only knock the header into the path of American midfielder Joe Corona, who dribbled out to the left flank before back-heeling the ball to Pulisic. Pulisic then crossed the ball low and hard into the England penalty area, where Zardes struck a beautiful shot that left Butland stumped.

 

The United States pressed for an unlikely equaliser in the final minute of regulation time. Altidore and Pulisic each had shots deflect off England defenders before the ball fell to Zardes just six yards from goal. It took yet another England block - from Smalling - to divert the ball behind and deny the 27-year-old Californian another unforgettable Wembley moment.

 

The two minutes of injury time were anxious times for England, with fans desperately hoping their 2-1 lead would stay intact. Then, just seconds from full-time, midfielder James Ward-Prowse sought out the run of Aarons up the left flank. Instead of taking the ball to the corner flag and keeping it there, Aarons squared it to Vardy, whose poacher's finish rounded off an impressive 3-1 win for the Three Lions.

 

Aarons' first 12 England caps had seen him produce five goals and four assists. He really was carving out a reputation as an unlikely international star for Catterall's side.

 

16 October 2018: International Friendly - at Wembley, London

England - 3 (Rolando Aarons 16,29, Jamie Vardy 90+3)

United States - 1 (Gyasi Zardes 89)

ENGLAND LINE-UP (4-2-3-1): Jack Butland; Nathaniel Clyne, Gary Cahill, Chris Smalling, Danny Rose (Luke Shaw); Danny Drinkwater (Dele Alli), Jordan Henderson (Eric Dier); Rolando Aarons, Jack Wilshere (James Ward-Prowse), Demarai Gray (Nathan Redmond); Callum Wilson (Jamie Vardy).

 

While England were pitting their wits against the United States, their UEFA Nations League rivals were doing battle in Paris. That match would see France avenge their earlier Division A Group 3 defeat to Russia, with 19-year-old Monaco wonderkid Kylian Mbappé scoring his first senior international goal after 81 minutes to decide the game.

 

France were now back on top of Group 3, but anything could realistically still happen in the final two group matches - Russia vs England on 16 November, followed by England vs France four days later. The battle to qualify for the Semi Finals, or simply to avoid relegation to Division B, was about to reach a thrilling climax.

 

2018/2019 UEFA Nations League Division A Group 3 (After 4 rounds)

                                   P     W     D     L     F     A     GD    PTS
1.          France                 3     2     0     1     4     3     1     6
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
2.          England                2     1     0     1     3     2     1     3
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
3.          Russia                 3     1     0     2     2     4     -2    3

 

[CFuller]

Chapter 24 - Tears And Tearaways

 

Though Mark Catterall and Michael Burke were great friends at a professional and personal level, they didn't pay visits to each other's houses all that often. Burke was pleasantly surprised, then, when Catterall showed up at his home in Tatenhill - a tiny village just outside of Burton-upon-Trent - on the first Sunday afternoon of November.

 

"Oh, hey there, Mark. What's up?"

 

"Mind if I come in?"

 

"No, not at all. Me and the wife were just sitting down to watch telly, anyway."

 

Mark was then greeted by Michael's wife Julia and their eldest child - 21-year-old Charlotte, who offered to make tea for the houseguest.

 

"That'd be lovely, thanks," Mark nodded. "Black tea, no sugar. And could you do us some black toast as well?"

 

Mark then entered the living room and sat on the sofa beside Michael and Julia.

 

"So, Mark, what brings you here?" Michael asked.

 

Mark began, "A few months back, Kat got in touch with me again, out of the blue. She asked me to meet up with her and Ashley again."

 

"Oh, that's great! How did it go?"

 

"It went surprisingly well, given that me and Kat hadn't spoken in 11 years since the divorce. Yeah, and it turns out Ashley's following in Daddy's footsteps. She's playing for Liverpool Ladies and has been capped by England Under-19s."

 

"No way!" Julia gasped. "That is amazing!"

 

"Here's the thing, though. I've started meeting Ashley again, on a semi-regular basis, but I've basically missed two-thirds of her life, so... I'm a bit out of the loop, in terms of father-daughter relationships. Could you give us some advice you've picked up, from raising Charlotte?"

 

"Speak of the angel," Michael muttered as Charlotte handed Mark his freshly-made tea and toast.

 

"Thanks, love," Mark smiled.

 

"You're welcome, Mark," Charlotte smiled.

 

"How've you been keeping, then?"

 

"Yeah, I'm good. I got a new job working at Costa coffee last month."

 

"Costa? Ah, okay. Is that the one on Orchard Street?"

 

"That's the one. And hopefully, in the next few months, I'll be finding a new place for me and the boyfriend."

 

Julia sighed, "This house will sound so empty when she flies off."

 

Michael quipped, "Yeah, but on the plus side, it'll be a hell of a lot tidier!"

 

Mark noticed the absence of the Burkes' younger child - 18-year-old Joshua. "So where's Josh, then?"

 

"He's buggered off to uni, ain't he?" Michael replied. "Sheffield Hallam. Studying 'Social Science', if you believe such a subject exists."

 

Charlotte added, "He wants to be a Labour MP, don't he? He's been sucked in by Corbyn-mania, you see."

 

"Right now, I ain't sure even Josh knows what he wants to be, Charlie."

 

"Well, er, it was nice seeing you again, Mark," Charlotte said nervously. "My boyfriend's upstairs, so... I'd best get back to him!"

 

Charlotte scampered out of the room as Julia shrugged and told Mark, "The boyfriend phase. Pretty much every girl goes through it when they're around Charlie's age."

 

Mark asked, "Are you sure she's..." but was interrupted by Julia, who responded, "She says she is, and I bloody hope so. We're not ready for grandkids just yet."

 

"Now for some advice on the Ashley front," Michael said. "Don't try to pry into every little detail in her life. This is a big stage in her life, and she needs to be given plenty of space, else she might see her dad as some kind of creep."

 

Julia added, "And if Ashley does snap at you suddenly for any reason, it's not because she hates you. It could be because it's her time of the month, or it could be because she's just a regular teenage rebel. You should've seen Charlie's rebel phase."

 

Michael then recoiled, "Black clothes, black hair, white makeup, The Pretty Reckless playing on an endless loop. Mark, the only thing missing from that wretched goth hell was a half-naked Marilyn Manson in her bed!"

 

"Charlotte was a nightmare teenager... but we still loved her, of course we did," Julia added. "She was our little girl, and she still will be, even though she's now a young woman."

 

Michael got up from his seat and retrieved a photo album from a shelf. He then sat back down and opened the album towards Mark, saying, "There's something I've been meaning to show you."

 

Pointing to a grainy 1970s-era photograph of a young boy and a teenage girl standing by the seaside, Michael said, "That's Lisa - my sister. Six years older than me."

 

As he turned the pages, Michael relayed the story of his sister, "Lisa and I were quite close when I was very young. She was always there for me long before you came along.

 

"But, when I was about five, and she was 11... our parents split up. Lisa went to live with Dad in Kendal, while I stayed with Mum in Salford. We'd see each other every couple of weekends, but that was it. That's why I never told you about her.

 

"About four years later, Dad got a new job in Oldham. Lisa went with him, and it was at school in Oldham where she met Warren Joyce. They were in a relationship for a couple of years, which explains how I knew Warren from when I was a boy. Sadly, they later broke up."

 

"It's all coming together now," Mark nodded. "But I don't like the sound of where this story's ending."

 

Michael took a sharp breath as he turned to the final page, which featured a photograph of Lisa in full running kit.

 

"Lisa was a great fell-runner. She represented Lancashire and even England in national competitions. We all thought that she would go on to compete at world championships and what-not.

 

"Then... October 1983. A big race in the Lake District. Lisa was leading when..."

 

Julia handed Michael a tissue before, with his voice cracking, he resumed, "Lisa stumbled on a big hill and lost her footing. She fell a few hundred feet and smashed her skull. The impact killed her stone dead."

 

His voice then cracked as he said, "She was 18 years old, Mark. Only 18."

 

"Jesus Christ, I had no idea," Mark gasped as Michael broke down in tears.

 

"Michael really doesn't like to talk about this," Julia explained. "That's probably why he's kept it quiet from you for such a long time."

 

Wiping away his tears, Michael continued, "Obviously, Dad was devastated when Lisa passed, but it destroyed Mum. She sank into depression... and died when I was 17.

 

"I told you at the time that Mum had been suffering from lung cancer. I was too afraid to tell you the truth. In fact... she had a massive heart attack, on what would have been Lisa's 24th birthday."

 

Michael pointed out one final photograph, beneath that of Lisa in her running gear. It was a photo of a tombstone, which read: "Here lies ELIZABETH BURKE, beloved daughter, 03/04/1965 - 30/10/1983, and her mother MAUREEN HILDA BURKE (née GORNALL), 17/03/1944 - 03/04/1989."

 

"Good grief," Mark sighed sadly.

 

"So make the most of what time you get with Ashley," Michael said. "You've lost her once before, and you'll never know if she's going to be taken away from you again."

 

"Thanks for the tips, Mick. And you too, Jules."

 

Mark's phone then rang in his trouser pocket. He retrieved his phone and answered, "Hello?

 

"Why? What's wrong?

 

"Oh f... that's awful, Ross. I'm so, so sorry.

 

"I knew he'd been ill for some time... but yeah, it's a big shock when you lose a parent so suddenly, ain't it? If you ever wanna reach out to someone about that, then you can always call me, okay?

 

"Yeah, again, I'm so sorry to hear that, Ross. Send my thoughts to your mum and the rest of your family, alright? Bye-bye."

 

Mark then hung up and told Michael and Julia, "That... was Ross Wilkins, Ray's son."

[CFuller]

***

 

English football was plunged into mourning on 4 November 2018. The game had lost one of its most popular figures, who had enjoyed great success as both a player and a coach.

 

Ray Wilkins - nicknamed 'Butch' - was an accomplished midfielder who played for clubs such as Chelsea, Manchester United, AC Milan and Rangers. He won the FA Cup with United in 1983 and went on to lift the Scottish Premier Division title with Rangers six years later.

 

At international level, the boy from Hillingdon in west London won 84 caps for England between 1976 and 1986. Wilkins played at the 1982 FIFA World Cup in Spain, and then captained the Three Lions at the 1986 tournament in Mexico. During a group match against Morocco, he infamously became the first Englishman to receive a red card at the World Cup, after throwing the ball at the referee.

 

As his playing days drew towards a close, Wilkins went into coaching, managing Queens Park Rangers and then Fulham in the mid-1990s. He later served as an assistant manager at several clubs, including his beloved Chelsea, and coached Jordan at the 2015 AFC Asian Cup. However, his second career was often blighted by the demons of alcoholism and bipolar disorder.

 

Wilkins was assistant coach to England Under-21s manager Peter Taylor between 2004 and 2007. He would return to the FA set-up nine years later, having been recruited by Mark Catterall as a senior-team coach. Butch accompanied Catts at the 2018 World Cup in Russia as the Three Lions enjoyed their best run at a major tournament for over two decades.

 

Wilkins retired from coaching after the World Cup in July. Less than four months later, he suffered a massive heart attack at his home. Wilkins spent a week in an induced coma at St George's Hospital in Tooting, and then peacefully passed away with wife Jackie and children Ross and Jade by his side. He was 62 years old.

 

Tributes flooded in from several leading figures in English football. Catterall himself said, "Ray was one of the nicest, most honest guys I've ever worked with. He was incredibly passionate about football, and about England. As far as I'm concerned, there will never be another Butch."

 

Catterall also expressed his wishes that his England senior team would show as much commitment as Wilkins did in his heyday during their next two internationals. The Group Stage of the inaugural UEFA Nations League was about to reach its conclusion.

 

The Three Lions would return to Russia on 16 November for their penultimate match in Division A Group 3. They would then return home for the visit of France four days later. All three teams were in contention to either win the group and qualify for the Semi Finals, or suffer relegation to Division B.

 

For a team of England's stature, being relegated to the second tier of European nations would be considered a national embarrassment. They would avoid that indignity if they got at least a draw in Moscow, where the Russians needed a victory to avoid dropping down a division.

 

Regardless of the outcome of the Russia game, Catterall knew that his Three Lions had to beat France to stand a chance of finishing top. Les Bleus' 2-1 comeback win over England at the Stade de France in September had put them in the driving seat as far as qualification for June's play-off stages was concerned.

 

ENGLAND squad - for matches vs Russia (A) and France (H)

NAME                      POSITIONS           D.O.B. (AGE)     CLUB            CAPS  GOALS HEIGHT WEIGHT     VALUE
Jack Butland              GK                  10/03/1993 (25)  Stoke           9     0     6'5"   14st 13lbs £19.5M  
Fraser Forster            GK                  17/03/1988 (30)  Southampton     10    0     6'7"   15st 8lbs  £11.25M 
Joe Hart                  GK                  19/04/1987 (31)  Man City        86    0     6'5"   12st 10lbs £12.25M 
Michael Keane             D (RC)              11/01/1993 (25)  Man City        20    0     6'1"   13st 3lbs  £31M    
John Stones               D (RC)              28/05/1994 (24)  Man City        30    1     6'2"   12st 1lb   £35.5M  
Eric Dier                 D (RC), DM, M (C)   15/01/1994 (24)  Tottenham       37    6     6'2"   13st 7lbs  £32.5M  
Gary Cahill               D (C)               19/12/1985 (32)  CSKA Moscow     63    3     6'4"   13st 7lbs  £1.3M   
Chris Smalling            D (C)               22/11/1989 (28)  Man Utd         37    1     6'4"   14st 2lbs  £23.5M  
Nathaniel Clyne           D/WB (R)            05/04/1991 (27)  Liverpool       33    0     5'9"   10st 7lbs  £13.75M 
Kyle Walker               D/WB (R)            28/05/1990 (28)  Tottenham       35    0     6'0"   11st 6lbs  £20.5M  
Luke Shaw                 D/WB (L)            12/07/1995 (23)  Man Utd         26    1     6'1"   11st 11lbs £23.5M  
Matthew Targett           D/WB (L)            18/09/1995 (23)  Southampton     0     0     6'0"   12st 6lbs  £8.25M  
Jordan Henderson          DM, M (C)           17/06/1990 (28)  Liverpool       55    1     6'0"   10st 7lbs  £23.5M  
Danny Drinkwater          M (C)               05/03/1990 (28)  Leicester       21    0     5'10"  11st 0lbs  £15.25M 
Demarai Gray              M/AM (RL)           28/06/1996 (22)  Leicester       16    3     5'10"  11st 13lbs £20M    
Nathan Redmond            M/AM (RL), ST (C)   06/03/1994 (24)  Southampton     12    3     5'8"   11st 6lbs  £24M    
Adam Lallana              M/AM (RLC)          10/05/1988 (30)  Liverpool       48    2     5'8"   11st 6lbs  £11.75M 
James Ward-Prowse         M/AM (RC)           01/11/1994 (24)  Tottenham       7     0     5'8"   10st 5lbs  £16.75M 
Dele Alli                 M/AM (C)            11/04/1996 (22)  Tottenham       40    5     6'1"   12st 1lb   £33.5M  
Ross Barkley              M/AM (C)            05/12/1993 (24)  Everton         24    2     6'2"   11st 13lbs £20.5M  
Jamie Vardy               AM (C), ST (C)      11/01/1987 (31)  Leicester       17    6     5'10"  11st 11lbs £5.25M  
Harry Kane                ST (C)              28/07/1993 (25)  Tottenham       39    16    6'3"   13st 0lbs  £37.5M  
Callum Wilson             ST (C)              27/02/1992 (26)  Chelsea         23    5     5'11"  10st 7lbs  £33M    

 

Mark Catterall was gaining a reputation as a ruthless manager, and that was very clear in his latest team selection. Rolando Aarons and Jack Wilshere - two key players in England's run to 3rd place at the World Cup - had been sensationally axed after losing form at club level.

 

22-year-old winger Aarons had provided Newcastle United with just one assist in ten matches since his meteoric rise in England's last visit to Russia. Meanwhile, playmaker Wilshere had featured in only three of Arsenal's opening ten Premier League fixtures, and he hadn't exactly covered himself in glory in any of them.

 

While Aarons reluctantly accepted being dropped, Wilshere didn't take to his axing quietly. He openly vented his anger at Catterall in a post on his personal Instagram account, which contained too many spelling and grammatical errors to be legible for anyone with a decent grasp of the English language.

 

There were recalls for the Merseyside-based duo of Everton's Ross Barkley and Liverpool's Adam Lallana. The latter had missed out on the previous two squads due to a sports hernia but was now back on course to reach 50 caps for the Three Lions.

 

Another player who was back to full fitness following recent injury problems was Southampton goalkeeper Fraser Forster. The 30-year-old Northumbrian returned to the England side at the expense of a fellow north-easterner - uncapped Sunderland custodian Jordan Pickford.

 

The other change to Catterall's squad before these last two UEFA Nations League matches was at left-back. Since Catterall had been in charge, Danny Rose and Luke Shaw had always been his go-to players for that position. However, Rose picked up a groin strain during Tottenham Hotspur's UEFA Europa League match at FC København, forcing the manager to look at another option.

 

Shaw's new deputy at left-back for the time being would be a fellow Saints youth product in Matthew Targett. The 23-year-old had finally managed to nail down a starting place at St Mary's this season with his consistently solid performances. A former European Championship runner-up with England's Under-21s, Targett would now get an opportunity to make his mark at the highest international level.

 

ENGLAND UNDER-21s squad - for match vs Israel (H)

NAME                      POSITIONS           D.O.B. (AGE)     CLUB            CAPS  GOALS HEIGHT WEIGHT     VALUE
Harry Lewis               GK                  20/12/1997 (20)  Southampton     1     0     6'3"   12st 1lb   £500K   
Bailey Peacock-Farrell    GK                  29/10/1996 (22)  Leeds           4     0     6'2"   11st 11lbs £275K   
Freddie Woodman           GK                  04/03/1997 (21)  Birmingham      9     0     6'1"   10st 12lbs £1.3M   
Kyle Walker-Peters        D (RL)              13/04/1997 (21)  Tottenham       3     0     5'6"   9st 12lbs  £6.25M  
Joe Gomez                 D (RLC)             23/05/1997 (21)  West Ham        21    1     6'2"   13st 7lbs  £6.25M  
Mason Holgate             D (RC)              22/10/1996 (22)  Everton         18    3     5'11"  11st 13lbs £21.5M  
Joe Rankin-Costello       D (RC), M/AM (RLC)  26/07/1999 (19)  Swansea         2     0     5'10"  11st 2lbs  £6.75M  
Ben Chilwell              D (LC), WB (L)      21/12/1996 (21)  Leicester       18    0     5'10"  12st 1lb   £7.75M  
Brendan Galloway          D (LC), DM          17/03/1996 (22)  Everton         20    1     6'2"   14st 0lbs  £10.25M 
Axel Tuanzebe             D (C)               14/11/1997 (20)  Stoke           6     1     6'0"   12st 6lbs  £6.25M  
Ezri Konsa                D (C), DM, M (C)    23/10/1997 (21)  Huddersfield    1     0     6'1"   12st 3lbs  £625K   
Josh Tymon                D/M (L)             22/05/1999 (19)  West Ham        2     0     5'8"   10st 12lbs £8.25M  
Lewis Cook                DM, M (C)           03/02/1997 (21)  Bournemouth     8     0     5'9"   11st 2lbs  £9.75M  
Tom Davies                DM, M (C)           30/06/1998 (20)  Everton         9     3     5'10"  11st 0lbs  £4.6M   
Sam Field                 DM, M/AM (C)        08/05/1998 (20)  West Brom       3     1     5'10"  11st 11lbs £7.75M  
Patrick Roberts           M (RL), AM (RLC)    05/02/1997 (21)  Leicester       18    4     5'6"   9st 1lb    £15.75M 
Reiss Nelson              M (L), AM (RL)      10/12/1999 (18)  Ipswich         3     1     5'9"   11st 2lbs  £3.2M   
Sheyi Ojo                 M (L), AM (RLC)     19/06/1997 (21)  Leeds           5     0     6'1"   9st 12lbs  £10.75M 
Ovie Ejaria               M (C), AM (LC)      18/11/1997 (20)  Norwich         0     0     6'0"   12st 3lbs  £1.3M   
Joshua Onomah             M/AM (C)            27/04/1997 (21)  Tottenham       14    6     6'0"   12st 10lbs £5.25M  
Tammy Abraham             AM (R), ST (C)      02/10/1997 (21)  Reading         23    16    6'4"   12st 12lbs £2.6M   
Marcus Rashford           AM (L), ST (C)      31/10/1997 (21)  Man Utd         22    25    5'11"  11st 9lbs  £30M    
Eddie Nketiah             ST (C)              30/05/1999 (19)  MK Dons         2     2     5'10"  11st 4lbs  £5.5M   

 

Following their successful qualification for the European Championship, the Under-21s had a relatively quiet November. They would play just one friendly match during this international break - against Israel at the County Ground in Swindon.

 

The only new face in this squad was Liverpool midfielder Ovie Ejaria, who'd previously represented England at the 2017 FIFA U20 World Cup. The multi-faceted Londoner was on loan at Norwich City, for whom he scored his first Premier League goal against Reading at the end of September.

 

Southampton goalkeeper Harry Lewis and Huddersfield Town defender Ezri Konsa each got opportunities to add to their solitary Under-21s caps. Also receiving recalls were Tottenham Hotspur right-back Kyle Walker-Peters and West Bromwich Albion midfielder Sam Field, both of whom had represented the Young Lions three times at this level.

 

The five players who were dropped from the previous squad were Trent Alexander-Arnold, Reece Burke, Ainsley Maitland-Niles, Kasey Palmer and Ted Smith.

 

ENGLAND UNDER-19s squad - for matches vs Germany (H) and Albania (H)

GOALKEEPERS: Terry Cowling (Leeds), Steve Hilton (Liverpool), Josh Vokes (Tottenham)

DEFENDERS: Ted Lapslie (Arsenal), Joel Latibeaudiere (Motherwell), Adam Mingay (West Brom), Alistair Rattray (Peterborough), Ryan Sessegnon (Sheff Wed), Peter Turner (Chelsea), Kane Wilson (Port Vale), Joe Wright (Liverpool)

MIDFIELDERS: Marc Atkins (Shrewsbury), Neil Campbell (Wolves), Jason Curtis (Hartlepool), Alfie Davidson (Leicester), Phil Foden (Bury), John Harrison (Liverpool), Aaron Morley (Hibernian), Seidu Opare (Tottenham), Stuart White (Man Utd)

FORWARDS: Danny Loader (Reading), Reece Nicholls (Chelsea), Chris Scott (West Ham)

 

England had comfortably qualified for the European Championship Elite Round after three straight wins in Blackburn in October. They would stay on home soil for their next two friendly matches, which would be against Germany in Sunderland and then against Albania in Chesterfield.

 

Arsenal winger Charles Ameobi and Liverpool forward Lawrence Warner were two significant absentees, having sustained a fractured cheekbone and a knee ligament injury respectively. Meanwhile, Stoke City right-back Daniel Marshall was dropped.

 

Huddersfield Town winger Jason Curtis - on loan at Hartlepool United in League Two - came back into the squad and was joined by a quintet of newcomers. Marc Atkins, Phil Foden, Seidu Opare, Kane Wilson and the highly-rated West Ham United striker Chris Scott were all set for their first tastes of international football at Under-19s level.

[CFuller]

***

 

England manager Mark Catterall had an injury problem to deal with before his team convened for the UEFA Nations League matches against Russia and France. The man concerned was one of his key performers at the FIFA World Cup earlier in 2018.

 

Southampton were at home to Arsenal in the Premier League on 10 November. Italy midfielder Marco Benassi - in his second season at St Mary's - gave the hosts the lead, but the Gunners battled back to win 3-1.

 

Of greater significance to Catterall was what had happened to Nathan Redmond in the eighth minute. The winger appeared to twist his ankle after sharply turning past Arsenal left-back Nacho Monreal and was in obvious discomfort afterwards. Though Redmond played on until being replaced by Charlie Austin in the 62nd minute, a scan later confirmed an injury that would consequently rule him out for the next three weeks.

 

Redmond was now out of contention for the Nations League. His misfortune prompted Catterall to hand a recall to Celta Vigo's inside-forward Jesse Lingard, who had not played for England since the shock home defeat to Mexico back in March. Lingard's lacklustre performance against El Tri had made him an obvious scapegoat for Three Lions supporters, but he now had an unexpected opportunity to make amends.

 

A couple of days later, Lingard and the rest of the England squad convened at St George's Park to plan for their upcoming ties. After their Monday morning training session, the players sat down for a tactics Russia were likely to deploy on Friday. Catterall and his tactical coach Glenn Hoddle took the lead.

 

Catterall began, "Russia's coach, [Stanislav] Cherchesov, used to be a goalkeeper in his day. It won't surprise you, then, that he likes to build his team from the back. He likes to field a very flat back four, with two holding midfielders in front of them. We reckon those two midfielders will be [Alan] Dzagoev and [Sergey] Petrov."

 

Hoddle added, "Dago... Jago... Zago... Alan is a deep-lying playmaker with a keen eye for a killer pass. Russia play very direct, and pretty much everything they do from a creative standpoint comes from this lad. It's absolutely vital that you midfielders close Alan down at all times. Don't give him too much space, 'cos he will exploit it."

 

"He's also got a bit of a mean streak, so if you can frustrate him, don't be surprised if he takes it out on you," Catterall pointed out. "If he does, that could work massively in our favour."

 

"If Alan does manage to get the ball upfield, he'll probably pass long to one of the wingers," Hoddle continued. "They ain't the quickest wingers in the world, but if they can get past you, they'll probably try to drill the ball into the box for their striker. [Fedor] Smolov is rapid, he's comfortable on either foot, and he's got a fantastic strike rate in the Russian league..."

 

David Platt interrupted, "Only about two in five of his shots for FC Krasnodar miss the target. That's a good record."

 

"Cheers, David," Hoddle muttered. "Anyway, he's another Russian lad you'll want to keep a close watch on. Whatever you do, don't let him get the ball when he's in the six-yard box or near that penalty spot."

 

Hoddle then looked at another of the Russians' key players. "Now... at the other end, we obviously know how much quality [Igor] Akinfeev has in the goal, but we also know he's got a mistake or two in him. His handling ain't too good, so if he drops a catch or struggles to palm one away, you attackers need to find space to get to those rebounds."

 

"Space will come at a premium against a defensive team like Russia," Catterall stressed. "It might be worthwhile taking things slowly in that final third and pulling the defenders out wide to free up some room for team-mates."

 

Catterall then paused before asking, "Now, lads... do any of you have any questions?"

 

Gary Cahill raised his hand. The CSKA Moscow defender said, "I do not understand, comrade. Is this a plot... to undermine the motherland? Mother Russia?"

 

Catterall groaned, "Gary, you're English. You grew up in Sheffield, for crying out loud!"

 

John Stones remarked as he patted Cahill on the back, "Damn right! Yer from God's own country, mate! You aren't some poxy Russian!"

 

Cahill furiously grabbed Stones' wrist and growled, "You are no proletariat! You are from the bourgeoisie!"

 

"Bourgeoisie? Is that, like, French or summat?"

 

Catterall asked quietly, "Alright, Gary... can you just calm down, mate?"

 

An increasingly angry Cahill let go of Stones' wrist, but then stood up and declared, "Communism will never fall! Mother Russia will never fall! Rise up, comrades! Let us stand together and break the system!"

 

"Oh, s***," assistant manager Michael Burke groaned. "He's like Lily Allen on LSD and cocaine!"

 

Cahill raised a clenched fist into the air, repeatedly chanting, "BREAK THE SYSTEM!"

 

Catterall yelled, "EVERYBODY OUT! CAHILL'S OUT OF CONTROL!"

 

Most of the players and coaching staff fled the room before Catterall then tried to wrestle Cahill to the ground, only for a right hook to floor him and knock his glasses off. The manager scrambled to put them back on before returning to his feet and retreating.

 

Left-back Luke Shaw quipped, "If only Butch was still around, eh? God rest his soul. He'd have known just what to do!"

 

Catterall shook his head, "I doubt it, Luke. I don't think even Tyson Fury or Anthony Joshua could handle Cahill right now."

 

Burke agreed, "We could put a flamethrower, an army of robot ninjas, and a f***ing dragon on a leash in there, and he'd still kick our arses! Like you said, Catts, the man's out of control!"

 

Catterall then told the players, "Alright, lads. Let's take an hour out. Me and Mick need to figure out how to sort this."

 

The players and coaches headed off, leaving Catterall and Burke to figure out a course of action.

 

"So how do we solve a problem like Gary?" Catterall pondered. "That's the £64,000 question, ain't it?"

 

Noticing that Burke had brought out his phone, Catterall asked, "You aren't gonna phone the police, are you?"

 

"I'm not," Burke said. "It's the 64-grand question, and I'm gonna phone a friend, Jeremy. My best friend."

 

"I'm your best friend, Mick!"

 

"I mean Julia, obviously!"

 

Michael called his wife Julia's work number. After a few seconds on hold, she answered, "Hello? What's up?"

 

"Hi, Jules," Michael replied sweetly. "We're in a little spot of bother here. Basically, one of the players has turned into Groucho Marx..."

 

"Don't you mean Karl Marx?" Catterall hissed.

 

"Karl Marx, sorry. Anyway, he's having a communist meltdown and we need to calm him."

 

Julia laughed down the phone, "You're joking, aren't you?"

 

"No, Julia, I'm dead serious! This is a real problem!"

 

Michael told Julia, who was working as a teaching assistant at a special needs school, "Look... you're used to meltdowns at work, aren't you? Do you have any ideas?"

 

"All the techniques I know are for autistic children, so I'm not sure they'll be any use to you. Hold on, let me think for a moment..."

 

Catterall and Burke waited on an answer for about half a minute before Julia returned, "Come to think of it, Michael... the Yaqui people of America brew a special tea that unlocks memories. It would be a good excuse to use my mum's old Yaqui tea set."

 

"Hold on? Your mum has a Native American tea set?"

 

"It's a long story."

 

"Yeah... erm, that's not gonna help us, Julia," Michael sighed. "Basically, this guy's convinced that he's in the 1980s Soviet Union, and we need to get him back to 2018 England, no matter what it takes."

 

"Okay, this one's a long shot, but... have you tried giving him vodka?"

 

Catterall sputtered, "WHAT?"

 

Michael asked Julia, "Are you nuts? You think that the best idea to calm a professional footballer who thinks he's a RUSSIAN communist... is to give him RUSSIAN VODKA?"

 

Catterall took the phone from Burke and said, "What you're suggesting, Julia, could turn yet another England footballer into an alcoholic. Do you know how risky that is?"

 

"Well..." Julia sighed. "Maybe it's worth a try. After all, didn't Terry Venables cure Stuart Pearce's fear of penalties by making him take one?"

[Drogba11CFC]

Hardly rocket science. Assaulting a teammate and a member of coaching staff = out the door.

[CFuller]

15 minutes ago, Drogba11CFC said:

Hardly rocket science. Assaulting a teammate and a member of coaching staff = out the door.

Maybe there's more to it than that... 

[CFuller]

***

 

Two hours had passed since Gary Cahill launched a sudden, unexpected, communism-fuelled tirade at St George's Park. He was now lying prone on a bench in the physiotherapist's room, having been quelled by drinking a couple of bottles of vodka.

 

England manager Mark Catterall and assistant Michael Burke were sitting beside the bench as Cahill regained consciousness. The CSKA Moscow defender slurred, "Wh... where am I?"

 

"You're in the physio room, Gary," Catterall said.

 

"Wha... what do you mean? I'm not injured, am I?"

 

Burke shook his head. "You ain't injured, just hungover. You were ranting and raving in the tactics room and we had to calm you down by giving you some vodka."

 

Cahill put his right hand on his forehead and groaned, "Ow, my head! I don't normally... drink, do I?"

 

"Yeah, it's not like you at all," Catterall said. "Then again, it weren't like you to fly off the handle and assault two members of the England set-up."

 

Cahill slowly raised up from the bench and gasped, "You what? Did I really do that?"

 

Burke sighed, "You were out of control, Gary. You grabbed John Stones' wrist and almost broke it..."

 

"And then you floored me with a right hook like you were Mike Tyson," Catterall added.

 

"Platt said he hadn't seen anything like it since Gazza was playing."

 

Cahill apologised, "Oh my God, I'm so... I'm so sorry if I did that."

 

"Apology accepted," Catterall nodded. "I'm sure John will forgive you as well. He's not the kind of guy who holds grudges. But there'll have to be consequences..."

 

"Yeah, yeah, of course. You're gonna drop me now, aren't you?"

 

"If it'd been anybody else, Gary, they wouldn't have played for England again. But the Gary Cahill that went on a rampage weren't the same Gary Cahill we knew and worked with. For months, you would be going on about Lenin and communism and breaking the system."

 

Burke added, "You were like a hard-left Incredible Hulk, Gary. We tried everything we could to try and calm you down... without involving Eileen Drewery, obviously. We only turned to drink as a last resort."

 

Cahill asked, "What? Are you saying I turned into a... communist?"

 

"And then some. We noticed something was different as soon as you came back from signing for CSKA, before the World Cup group game against Georgia."

 

Catterall asked, "This might be a bit too much to ask, but do you remember what you were doing around the time you signed for CSKA Moscow?"

 

Cahill winced as he held his forehead again. He then replied, "Yeah... come to think of it, yeah."

 

Burke then handed Cahill a glass of water to drink. Afterwards, the veteran defender explained, "After I signed the contract, one of the executives at CSKA invited me and the missus to watch a play with him that evening."

 

"What was it? Swan Lake? The Nutcracker?"

 

"Funnily enough, it was The Lion King," Cahill half-laughed. "Anyway, this man offered us a drink afterwards. Now that I think of it... I think it was vodka."

 

Burke gasped, "So drinking vodka turned you into a communist... and drinking it again snapped you out of it."

 

"It probably weren't as simple as that," Catterall argued. "He must've spiked Gary's drink with summat."

 

"That sounds a little bit like what Russia did to those British spies," Burke said. He was referring to the attempted murders of Sergei Skripal and his daughter Yulia in Salisbury earlier that year, as well as the assassination of Alexander Litvinenko in London in 2006.

 

Cahill admitted, "That sounds possible... but why would Russia want to poison me, or turn me into a lunatic?"

 

Catterall suggested, "Maybe they wanted to jeopardise the England team's chances at the World Cup."

 

"Didn't exactly pay off for 'em, though, did it?" Burke replied.

 

Catterall then asked Cahill, "This executive... do you remember who he was?"

 

Cahill nodded, "Yeah. I don't know his surname, but he was called Vladimir. He had short blond-grey hair and looked about 45, 50 years old. Spoke like Andrey Arshavin... or that meerkat from the TV adverts."

 

Burke turned to Catterall and told him, "That sounds a lot like the guy who visited us at the training ground before we played Costa Rica. He said he was a scout for CSKA and he wanted to have a look at Gary."

 

"F***ing hell," Catterall groaned. "Maybe you should report this guy to the police, Gary, before he strikes again."

 

Cahill shook his head, "I don't think that's a good idea, gaffer. Vladimir's one of the head honchos at CSKA. If I mouth off to the police, my career there is over."

 

"So you're going to let bygones be bygones?"

 

"You could say that. I just want to concentrate on playing football, for both CSKA and England."

 

Burke nodded, "That seems fine, if that's what you want."

 

The Football Association's communications director Ava Leggett then came into the room unannounced, saying, "Oh, thank goodness. I've been looking for you lot since I heard the news."

 

"Gary's fine now, Ava," Catterall said. "He's just woken up and he's back to his usual self."

 

Burke added, "Communist Gary is dead; long live normal Gary!"

 

"So what happened then?" Leggett asked.

 

Burke explained, "Gary snapped when he found out who we were playing on Friday. We didn't know what to do, so I phoned my wife, and she suggested we calm him down with vodka."

 

"What the f.... VODKA?!"

 

"We reckon the Russians gave Gary spiked vodka after he joined CSKA and turned him into... well, Stalin, basically. Turns out vodka could snap him out of it as well."

 

Leggett hissed, "You gave ALCOHOL to a player? If the press get wind of this, there'll be a media circus!"

 

Cahill tried to reassure Leggett, "It's okay, Ava. I'm fine, honest. I'm just a bit... hungover."

 

"Look at him, you two," Leggett told Catterall and Burke. "You've got a big match in four days' time, but Gary Cahill is in no fit state to play after what you've done to him! This is extreme professional misconduct! In fact, if I told Clark Gregory about this, you wouldn't be flying to Russia tomorrow! You'd be out of work!"

 

Catterall said, "Alright, Ava. Just calm down. Everything will turn out fine... and it's not as if Cahill will be drinking vodka again any time soon, is it?"

 

Cahill recoiled, "Damn right, I won't. I can't get this minging taste out of my mouth."

 

Leggett sighed, and admitted, "Okay, I'll keep this between us... but I won't do you any more favours when it comes to ethics. Have I made myself clear?"

 

"Got it," Catterall nodded. "Now... how do we explain why Cahill won't be playing on Friday?"

 

Leggett thought long and hard, and then suggested, "How about we say that it's for personal reasons? Like... Gary's nan is very ill, and he's helping look after her in hospital."

 

"Ah, the old Stephen Ireland excuse," Burke smiled. "That's flawless, if you ask me."

[CFuller]

***

 

Reece Nicholls had enjoyed a flying start to his England international career, scoring five goals in his first four caps for the Under-19s squad. Sadly, the Chelsea striker would not get an opportunity to add to that tally in November, as he sustained a hernia in the build-up to the Young Lions' home friendlies against Germany and Albania.

 

Nicholls' place in the England squad was taken by another promising attacker in the Chelsea ranks. 17-year-old Glenn Sheppard was spending the season on loan with Peterborough United, for whom he had scored six goals in 18 competitive appearances.

 

Sheppard started his career in the same Bristol City youth set-up as fellow striker Chris Scott, who'd been signed by West Ham United for £2.8million at the end of August. Scott would make his England Under-19s debut from the outset when the Young Lions played Germany in Sunderland.

 

Ledley King had an unblemished record in his first five matches as Under-19s head coach ahead of the Germans' visit to the Stadium of Light. As ever, manager Mark Catterall would be following King's team in his own way - on this occasion, on a laptop at the senior team's hotel in Moscow.

 

Germany made a bright start to proceedings, with Hertha BSC right winger Milan Rankovic winning a corner in the very first minute after his cross was deflected behind off England left-back Ted Lapslie. Rankovic was then the recipient of a corner delivery from Schalke 04 midfielder Yannick Holzweiler, which he nodded over the bar.

 

England would fare better with their first attempt on goal on four minutes. Robin Kehr's unconvincing interception of Stuart White's free-kick delivery into the German area allowed Liverpool centre-back Joe Wright to head in his first international goal.

 

Germany's goalkeeping captain Gianni Honsel had been left badly exposed there, though he recomposed himself to save a couple of excellent shots from White within the next six minutes. England goalie Steve Hilton would make his first save after 12 minutes, coming off his line to push away a drive from Holzweiler.

 

Scott then cut the German backline open with a couple of excellent through-balls to wingers John Harrison and Seidu Opare in the 26th and 27th minutes respectively. Though Harrison and Opare were disappointed to see their shots fly off target, one of them would have better luck in the 40th minute.

 

It was Scott whose eye for a killer ball would prove telling here. He searched out the run of Opare down the left flank, only for German right-back Vahid Malek to get there ahead of the Tottenham Hotspur wideman. Malek tried to play the ball back to his goalkeeper Honsel, but he underhit his pass, and Opare rushed forward to steal an easy finish! That wasn't a bad way for the Londoner to mark his England Under-19s debut, not to mention his 18th birthday!

 

The Young Lions had a 2-0 lead at the break, but they looked somewhat vulnerable in the 55th minute. RB Leipzig's attacking midfielder Erik Majetschak weighted a pass through a channel to right-winger Robin Nachtigall, who was kept off the scoreboard by a strong low save from Hilton.

 

England would go on the offensive again after 71 minutes. Sheppard had been given a chance to show what he was capable of, and he certainly impressed by finding Opare unmarked on the left flank. The birthday boy then evaded Malek and centred the ball to right-wing substitute Jason Curtis, who commemorated his return to the squad by beating Honsel for 3-0.

 

Following that third goal, Honsel was replaced between the German posts by Julian Vennemann. The 1.FC Köln custodian looked rather more assured than Honsel, catching a well-struck volley from Curtis in the 78th minute. The hosts wouldn't come close to scoring again, though the result was never really in doubt.

 

Admittedly, this Mannschaft team wasn't particularly frightening, as they'd inexplicably been eliminated from the European Under-19s Championship at the Qualifying Round, finishing behind Portugal and Finland in their group. As far as many England fans were concerned, though, any victory over the Germans was to be celebrated.

 

The 4,000-or-so fans who'd descended on the Stadium of Light applauded the Young Lions off after a very impressive display, which brought them a sixth win in succession. King's honeymoon period as head coach didn't look like ending any time soon.

 

15 November 2018: Under-19s International - at Stadium of Light, Sunderland

England U19s - 3 (Joe Wright 4, Seidu Opare 40, Jason Curtis 71)

Germany U19s - 0

ENGLAND U19s LINE-UP (4-2-3-1): Steve Hilton (Terry Cowling); Peter Turner (Kane Wilson), Joel Latibeaudiere (Alistair Rattray), Joe Wright (Adam Mingay), Ted Lapslie (Ryan Sessegnon); Alfie Davidson (Neil Campbell), Aaron Morley (Phil Foden); John Harrison (Jason Curtis), Stuart White (Danny Loader), Seidu Opare (Marc Atkins); Chris Scott (Glenn Sheppard).

[CFuller]

***

 

Four months after leaving Russia proudly carrying FIFA World Cup bronze medals in their luggage, England's players were back in Moscow once again. This time, their aim was simply to avoid relegation from Division A of the UEFA Nations League.

 

With two matches to go, England were second in Group 3, behind France by three points and ahead of Russia on head-to-head. The Three Lions' 2-0 win over the Russians at Wembley the previous month meant that they had a chance to secure survival in the rematch at the Luzhniki stadium. Russia had to win here, otherwise they would be relegated to Division B, and both England and France would be safe.

 

Regardless of whether they won or drew this match, England knew that they would need to beat France at Wembley four days later to top the group and qualify for the Nations League Semi Finals. On the other hand, a defeat would rule the Three Lions out of contention for first place, and it would also leave them having to beat Les Bleus simply to have a chance of staying up.

 

Manager Mark Catterall's focus would be firmly on keeping things tight and making sure his Three Lions did not concede. That said, his plans would be complicated by the weather in Moscow. Light slow had fallen on the Luzhniki surface overnight, while strong winds had the potential to wreak havoc on Catterall's passing game.

 

Catterall would also be without his captain Jordan Henderson through absence. Manchester City goalkeeper Joe Hart took the armband in Henderson's absence, and he would be a rather busier man here than at Wembley when the Russians came to visit.

 

Hart had to make his first save after just two minutes, catching Russian centre-half Ivan Novoseltsev's header from a lobbed free-kick by Denis Cheryshev. The hosts won another free-kick in a dangerous position four minutes later, when England left-back Luke Shaw went in hard on Taras Burlak. Pavel Mamaev went straight for goal from that one, and Hart did tremendously to clutch the FC Krasnodar midfielder's effort to his chest.

 

Keeping goal for Russia was 32-year-old captain Igor Akinfeev, whose 121st cap put him just two away from matching the national record held by Sergey Ignashevich. Akinfeev had kept a few clean sheets in that time, but he was very nearly beaten in the 10th minute by a shot from James Ward-Prowse. The CSKA Moscow stalwart just about diverted the Tottenham Hotspur midfielder's drive against his right-hand post before gathering it at the second attempt.

 

Akinfeev would have more work to do in the 13th and 17th minutes, when he saved a couple of efforts from England's left-sided inside-forward Jesse Lingard. On the opposite flank was the reinstated Adam Lallana, who couldn't have been too pleased to fire a short pass from Ward-Prowse over the crossbar in the 18th minute.

 

The Three Lions were far from their best, and as expected, their usually slick passing was being hampered by the conditions in Moscow. Russia looked marginally more confident, and they could've hit England on the counter-attack after 35 minutes.

 

Ward-Prowse's close-range free-kick rebounded off Cheryshev in the Russian penalty area and deflected out wide to Georgy Schennikov. The Sassuolo full-back dribbled forward and cut inside before knocking the ball to midfield talisman Alan Dzagoev, whose incisive pass was driven goalwards by Mamaev. Only another fantastic save by Hart spared England's blushes.

 

The Three Lions had another opportunity to break the deadlock in the 36th minute, when Lingard's 20-yarder was parried behind by Akinfeev. Lingard had been far from impressive on his first England appearance since March, but Catterall decided to keep the Celta Vigo attacker on for the second half. His only substitution during the interval saw attacking midfielder Dele Alli make way for Ross Barkley.

 

There had been no reports of any racism from the home fans during the first period, despite pre-match fears that the ugly side of the 'beautiful game' would once again rear its head in Russia. Unfortunately, any cordial respect from the Russians towards England's ethnic minority players seemed to go out the window once Barkley - who had a grandfather from Nigeria - came onto the field.

 

Several home supporters in the main stand unfurled a large banner that read: "WE LOVE KELVIN MACKENZIE". That was in reference to the disgraced former editor of The Sun, who had been sacked in May 2017 after publishing a column that compared Barkley to a gorilla. The player himself would be greeted with monkey chants whenever he was in possession of the ball, and his black or mixed-race team-mates would also receive similar treatment.

 

Barkley's first chance to silence the antagonists in the crowd came on 48 minutes. The Everton playmaker drilled an excellent pass to Tottenham striker Harry Kane, whose daisy-cutter from the edge of the Russian box was tipped wide. To some England fans of a certain vintage, it seemed that the excellent Akinfeev had summoned the spirit of the legendary Lev Yashin.

 

That would be Kane's only shot in what was another disappointing performance from the 25-year-old. Russia's own frontman Fedor Smolov was similarly quiet before being subbed off early in the second half for Artem Dzyuba. He too would do little, apart from in the 80th minute. After his first shot was deflected behind by England's star centre-back John Stones, Dzyuba headed wide the resultant corner from Oleg Shatov.

 

The second half in general was relatively highlight-less. Thanks to excellent defending from the likes of Stones and Novoseltsev at either end, the Russian and English attackers remained frustrated in their attempts to end the stand-off.

 

Stones had formed a formidable England central defensive partnership with Chris Smalling, who remained undeterred by the sickening racist taunts that had been sent his way during the second period. Smalling's Manchester United team-mate Lingard was also subjected to such vitriol at various points, as was Tottenham right-back Kyle Walker.

 

Things didn't really pick up until the closing 10 minutes, which began with Hart saving Cheryshev's deft header from a Schennikov cross. In the 85th minute, a sloppy back-pass from Dzyuba was cut out by Barkley, who looked for the run of England's substitute striker Jamie Vardy. Unfortunately for them, the Leicester City man could only scoop his shot over the crossbar.

 

The Three Lions then survived their biggest scare in the final minute of normal time. Smalling and Ward-Prowse each made strong interceptions in quick successions from left-wing deliveries by Shatov. The ball then fell to Novoseltsev, who pulled Russia's final shot into the side netting, albeit from a difficult angle. There would be no goals forthcoming in a tense match in which the defences were very much on top.

 

While a goalless draw hadn't exactly thrilled the England fans who'd travelled all the way to Moscow, the Three Lions had done their job effectively. They were now safe from relegation, and it was Russia who would have to contemplate life in Division B for the next Nations League cycle in 2020/2021. Considering how sections of their fanbase had behaved in the latter part of this match, that was probably for the best.

 

With survival secured, England could now return home and prepare for their final group game. As far as the Semi Finals were concerned, it would be a case of 'win or bust' against France.

 

16 November 2018: UEFA Nations League Division A Group 3 - at Luzhniki, Moscow

Russia - 0

England - 0

ENGLAND LINE-UP (4-2-3-1): Joe Hart; Kyle Walker, Chris Smalling, John Stones, Luke Shaw; James Ward-Prowse, Danny Drinkwater (Eric Dier); Adam Lallana, Dele Alli (Ross Barkley), Jesse Lingard; Harry Kane (Jamie Vardy). BOOKED: Drinkwater 63.

 

Shortly after the full-time whistle blew, Lingard shook hands and swapped shirts with Dzyuba. Lamentably, their respect on the pitch was not shared in the stands, as scores of Russian spectators made further monkey chants when Lingard was displayed on one of the big screens at the Luzhniki.

 

Lingard had tried to drown out the chants during the match, but now that it was over, he couldn't stay composed anymore. The Mancunian visibly choked up as he sprinted to Catterall in the dugout and asked furiously, "Did you hear that? Did you hear what those c***s are chanting?"

 

Catterall groaned, "We heard it loud and clear, Jesse. They're a f***ing disgrace!"

 

"I can't believe FIFA and UEFA let them get away with this! This always happens whenever black players go to Russia!"

 

"The thing is, this ain't gonna stop unless the authorities show some balls for once in their lives."

 

Smalling then came over and offered Lingard a consoling hug before telling Catterall, "This is just sickening. We never heard nothing like this at the World Cup."

 

Catterall replied, "They had to be on their best behaviour for the World Cup, didn't they? They couldn't show themselves up on the big stage or they'd have been expelled [by FIFA and UEFA]. Now that that's over, they're crawling out the woodwork again!"

 

"Come on, squad," Lingard growled. "Let's get outta here before it gets any worse."

 

The England players and coaches retreated down the tunnel as the bitterness in the stands grew, with some fans even hurling bananas onto the pitch. Catterall then had a quick word with ITV's Gabriel Clarke, stating, "I only want to say one thing tonight, Gabriel. I think the way some of the Russian fans acted towards some of our players tonight was an absolute disgrace. I cannot understand how people can act in such an uncivilised way in this day and age.

 

"Russian football has had problems with discrimination for years. Time after time, the governing bodies let them get away with it. You get fined more for having the wrong sponsor on your underwear than for racially abusing your opponents.

 

"This has gone too far now. As far as I'm concerned, no England team will travel to this country again on my terms until the Russian FA clean up their act. If that means we have to boycott World Cup or European Championship qualifiers at some point down the line, then I'd rather we stick to our principles than condone this behaviour.

 

"That's all I've got to say, Gabriel. Interview over."

[CFuller]

***

 

Mark Catterall's comments about the racist abuse some of his senior England players had received in Moscow provoked plenty of debate back home. Many fans and pundits agreed that the continued victimisation of non-white footballers by Russian supporters could not be tolerated any longer. FIFA and UEFA were strongly urged to take meaningful action against the Russian Football Union, instead of simply handing them pitiful fines, like they always tended to do.

 

However, Catterall's suggestion that England teams would not play in Russia again split opinion a lot more. Some argued that politics should not get in the way of football. Others said that the decision on whether to play competitive matches in the country should be up to the Football Association, rather than the England manager. There was, though, some significant support for a widespread sporting boycott of Russia - à la that of South Africa during Apartheid.

 

When England arrived at Heathrow Airport on the afternoon of Saturday 17 November, several journalists invited Catterall to further explain his remarks. He declined to comment, simply saying, "This isn't the right time."

 

Two England youth teams were in action two days later, on opposite ends of the country. That evening would see the Under-19s host Albania in the East Midlands town of Chesterfield, with England assistant manager Michael Burke in attendance.

 

Before that, though, the Under-21s welcomed their Israeli counterparts to the County Ground in Swindon. Nobody seemed to know quite why an England team was playing a home match at 3:00pm on a Monday afternoon that wasn't a Bank Holiday. That didn't concern Catterall as he travelled to Wiltshire in the south-west to see how his best young players were progressing under the tutelage of head coach David Byrne.

 

Israel would not be pushovers by any means. They had comfortably won their European Under-21s Championship qualifying group, albeit without facing any major opposition. The Blue and Whites had a sprinkling of senior internationals in their ranks, including left-winger Matan Hozez, who was a key man for Eredivisie side Vitesse.

 

England were looking to put in a strong performance against one of the teams that they could potentially face in the upcoming continental finals in Italy. Leicester City forward Patrick Roberts was particularly keen to catch the eye following an elongated dip in form, though a couple of disappointing early shots didn't bode well.

 

Roberts' first shot on target came on eight minutes, as he cut inside from the right before hitting a low shot that was awkwardly parried by Israeli keeper Omri Glaser. Marcus Rashford gathered the loose ball and crossed it into the box, where visiting centre-half Amit Glazer tried to head it clear. He could only find Everton midfielder Tom Davies, who volleyed wide.

 

Rashford later had a couple of excellent free-kicks pushed wide by Glaser before the Young Lions eventually broke the deadlock in the 20th minute. Captain Tammy Abraham's tackle on Israel midfielder Yaron Swisa kicked off a counter-attack that he would later finish, tapping in a drilled cross from Roberts.

 

Abraham's opener opened the floodgates wide open for England. As the game entered its 33rd minute, a rejuvenated Roberts received a pass from midfielder Joe Rankin-Costello and hammered it first-time past Glaser from the edge of the Israeli 'D'. That was Roberts' fifth goal for England Under-21s, but his first in over a year.

 

Incredibly, the 33rd minute was still ongoing when England scored a quickfire third goal, though they needed three bites at the cherry. Abraham's initial effort rebounded off Israel defender Ofri Arad and to Rashford in a tight angle. Though Glaser parried Rashford's first strike, the second easily beat him, and Manchester United's young sensation now had 26 England Under-21s goals on his CV!

 

Rashford and his United team-mate Axel Tuanzebe - on loan at Stoke City - each missed out on increasing England's lead to 4-0 before the interval. Both sides would make a raft of changes during the break. Not unsurprisingly, Israel replaced goalkeeper Glaser with his Maccabi Haifa team-mate Roee Fucs, who would catch an early strike from Young Lions sub Reiss Nelson in the 47th minute.

 

Nelson had a couple more unsuccessful attempts to increase England's lead. When the next goal was scored in the 61st minute, though, it came at the other end.

 

Two more members of Israel's Maccabi Haifa contingent linked up to get what looked like a consolation goal, when striker Awwad Muhammad half-volleyed in a centre from midfielder Yam Cohen. Muhammad had earned one senior cap for Israel thus far, scoring against future world champions Belgium the previous November, so he clearly had something about him.

 

Conceding part of their three-goal lead sprung the Young Lions back into life. Rashford had a couple of dangerous shots saved by Fucs in the 63rd and 71st minute, either side of a couple of lacklustre shots from Roberts.

 

England did find the net again in the 81st minute, but Eddie Nketiah was flagged offside after tapping in a follow-up from a Nelson shot that had rebounded off the post. Neither of the Arsenal attackers would get on the scoresheet in this match. Indeed, the Young Lions would be shut out for the entirety of the second half.

 

The rout that had been expected of England after they took a 3-0 half-time lead had not materialised. Nevertheless, a solid win had completed a perfect win for the Young Lions, who'd won all seven of their matches at Under-21s level in 2018. Tougher challenges would lie ahead of Byrne's team in 2019, and they would need to stay sharp if their summer sojourn in Italy was to end in glory.

 

19 November 2018: Under-21s International - at County Ground, Swindon

England U21s - 3 (Tammy Abraham 20, Patrick Roberts 33, Marcus Rashford 33)

Israel U21s - 1 (Awwad Muhammad 61)

ENGLAND U21s LINE-UP (4-2-3-1): Bailey Peacock-Farrell (Harry Lewis); Mason Holgate (Kyle Walker-Peters), Axel Tuanzebe (Joe Gomez), Brendan Galloway (Ezri Konsa), Ben Chilwell (Josh Tymon); Joe Rankin-Costello (Lewis Cook), Tom Davies (Sam Field); Patrick Roberts (Sheyi Ojo), Joshua Onomah (Ovie Ejaria), Marcus Rashford (Eddie Nketiah); Tammy Abraham (Reiss Nelson). BOOKED: Konsa 90+1.

[CFuller]

***

 

Just hours after England's Under-21s continued their winning streak, the Under-19s looked to keep theirs going into the new year. The Young Lions' final match of 2018 was at the Proact Stadium in Chesterfield, against an Albania side who were unlikely to cause them too much bother.

 

West Bromwich Albion's inside-forward Marc Atkins - on loan at Shrewsbury Town - fired a free-kick over Albania's crossbar after just three minutes. Another player who missed out on his first England goal three minutes later was Glenn Sheppard, who couldn't keep his header from Ryan Sessegnon's cross on target.

 

Albania had their first opportunity to rattle the hosts after 10 minutes. Attacking midfielder Ardit Bajrami swung in a promising free-kick that was nodded wide by captain Ilir Liçaj. Another weak header from Liçaj nine minutes later would prove even more costly for the Kuq e Zinjtë.

 

Liçaj's attempt to nod a long ball from England captain Alistair Rattray into touch was swiftly intercepted by its intended recipient Sheppard. The Chelsea striker held the ball up and crossed back to Leicester City midfielder Alfie Davidson, who smashed a 30-yard volley into the net off Taulant Zhilli's right-hand post! The home fans at the Proact Stadium, including England manager Mark Catterall, were left utterly gobsmacked by Davidson's stroke of brilliance!

 

After taking the lead in such breathtaking fashion, the Young Lions took a while to ready themselves for another attack. Sheppard did force Zhilli into a save after 33 minutes, but he'd already been flagged offside when he latched onto Atkins' through-ball.

 

Five minutes later, Atkins had another chance to get on the scoresheet. Manchester City midfielder Phil Foden - enjoying a season-long loan with Bury - lofted a pass to Sheppard, who knocked it first-time to Atkins. The Staffordshire-born youngster then miscued a shot that limped helplessly past the far post.

 

England would find the net for a second time on the stroke of half-time, and the excellent Davidson was once again involved. His clever sidefooted pass to John Harrison allowed the Liverpool winger to dribble past Albania's holding midfielder Gentian Idrizaj and play a superb square ball that Sheppard nonchalantly tucked away.

 

Harrison could've provided another assist four minutes into the second half. His cross to the far post narrowly evaded Liçaj and found substitute forward Jason Curtis, but the Huddersfield Town prospect somehow hit the post before Albania right-back Denis Ferraj cleared.

 

In the 56th minute, Kane Wilson - a promising West Brom right-back, rather than an ungodly amalgamation of England's two best strikers - played an impressive long ball ahead of fellow Young Lions substitute Danny Loader. The Reading forward then provided Sheppard with the ammunition for his second goal, and England's third of the night.

 

Impressively, England had scored from all three of their shots on target. They weren't quite able to keep up that strike rate, as Curtis' header from a Stuart White free-kick four minutes from the end was held by Albania's substitute keeper Roland Lika.

 

Meanwhile, Josh Vokes and Steve Hilton were left with very little work to do in the England goal, as Albania failed to register a single shot on target. A couple of hopeless long-rangers from wingers Eridon Bakaj and Albi Shala were as good as the Kuq e Zinjtë could muster in an unsurprisingly one-sided contest.

 

A second straight 3-0 win for England Under-19s made it seven consecutive victories under head coach Ledley King, who'd seen his team keep six clean sheets in the process. England's next three matches would surely put their strong run under real pressure, as they were set to face Switzerland, Sweden and Turkey in the European Championship Elite Round in March.

 

19 November 2018: Under-19s International - at Proact Stadium, Chesterfield

England U19s - 3 (Alfie Davidson 19, Glenn Sheppard 45,56)

Albania U19s - 0

ENGLAND U19s LINE-UP (4-2-3-1): Josh Vokes (Steve Hilton); Kane Wilson (Peter Turner), Adam Mingay (Joel Latibeaudiere), Alistair Rattray (Joe Wright), Ryan Sessegnon (Ted Lapslie); Alfie Davidson (Stuart White), Phil Foden (Aaron Morley); John Harrison (Seidu Opare), Neil Campbell (Danny Loader), Marc Atkins (Jason Curtis); Glenn Sheppard (Chris Scott).

[CFuller]

***

 

An excellent footballing year for England had come down to this. The 4th-best team in world football were about take on the 2nd-best team, with a place in the UEFA Nations League Semi Finals on the line.

 

France led England by two points ahead of the deciding fixture in Division A Group 3. Were England to avenge their earlier defeat to Les Bleus and triumph at Wembley, they would advance to June's Semi Finals. Any other result would send Didier Deschamps' FIFA World Cup runners-up into the last four instead.

 

England manager Mark Catterall welcomed back his captain and midfield talisman Jordan Henderson, who'd missed the goalless stalemate in Russia four days earlier through suspension. Henderson's Liverpool team-mate Adam Lallana won his 50th cap on the left wing.

 

On the other end of the experience scale was 23-year-old Southampton left-back Matthew Targett. Catterall's preferred choice in that position - Luke Shaw - was still somewhat tired following that hard-fought draw in Moscow. That meant Targett won his first senior international cap, during which he would have to contain none other than France's 22-year-old superstar winger Kingsley Coman.

 

There was one notable absentee from the England squad. Gary Cahill had not travelled to Russia for their previous match, following an incident at St George's Park that the Football Association had thus far kept under wraps. Catterall had asked Cahill about the prospect of him returning to action at Wembley, but the central defender admitted that he wasn't psychologically ready to resume his international career.

 

Prior to kick-off, a minute's silence was held in memory of the late Ray Wilkins. This was England's first home match since the former Three Lions captain and coach passed away aged 62, and his widow Jackie had been invited to Wembley by the FA as a special guest.

 

Despite possessing class players of their own all over the pitch, France didn't faze England early on. Skipper Henderson dispatched a free-kick over their crossbar in the third minute after his midfield colleague Dele Alli had been tripped by Aymeric Laporte.

 

Les Bleus would need Laporte and his fellow defenders to be on top form early on. Barcelona centre-half Samuel Umtiti blocked a vicious strike from Lallana in the fifth minute, while Monaco right-back Djibril Sidibé intercepted a cross from Demarai Gray shortly afterwards.

 

The final member of France's back four - left-back Lucas Digne - blocked a run from Gray in the 11th minute before squaring the ball to Paul Pogba. The Manchester United playmaker extraordinaire then drove a sublime through-ball between England's Manchester City centre-backs Michael Keane and John Stones to find their club-mate Antoine Griezmann. The 27-year-old wriggled away from Keane and Stones and then unleashed a volley that was caught by yet another City man - Joe Hart.

 

The 13th minute saw England's tough-tackling middleman Eric Dier pick up an ominous early yellow card for tripping Pogba. He then made amends somewhat by blocking the subsequent free-kick from Griezmann. Another 13 minutes followed before France's next chance, which was blasted over the bar from long range by Geoffrey Kondogbia.

 

Hart pumped the goal kick long to Gray, who got in ahead of Digne to flick it into the path of Dele Alli. The Tottenham Hotspur midfielder then dribbled into the penalty area, where he was upended by a clumsy challenge from Umtiti. His dive swayed the decision of German referee Felix Zwayer, who awarded England a penalty.

 

It was Alli's Tottenham team-mate Harry Kane who chose to take the spot-kick, even though he'd failed to convert his last one for England against Austria two months earlier. This time, he had to beat Spurs and France's ultra-reliable goalkeeping captain Hugo Lloris to send the Three Lions in front. However, Kane visibly panicked, giving Lloris an easy catch from the tamest of spot-kicks.

 

Kane's confidence and decision-making hit rock-bottom after that shocking miss. He was flagged offside in the 30th minute upon thrashing in a through-ball from Alli. That was to be his last real scoring opportunity for England before he was replaced at half-time with Chelsea's Callum Wilson.

 

By most accounts, England were lucky to go into the break with the match still goalless. Hart produced an excellent fingertip save in the 37th minute from Griezmann's fierce 20-yard drive. Either side of Griezmann's chance came a couple of hit-and-hopers from Juventus wideman Coman, neither of which troubled the target.

 

The first half had petered out somewhat, and the second period was quite slow to get going as well. France survived a couple of poor England corners before the Three Lions finally gave Lloris a test in the 59th minute. Sidibé's trip on Gray led to the awarding of a free-kick 20 yards from goal, which Dier whipped into Lloris' grasp.

 

Deschamps made his first substitution in the 61st minute, replacing Griezmann with Anthony Martial - the man who'd scored the winning goal against England at the Stade de France two months earlier. The Manchester United speedster couldn't make a similar impact here, but then again, neither could England attacking midfielder Ross Barkley following his 66th-minute introduction at Alli's expense.

 

England pushed further forward over the final 20 minutes in search of a match-winner. That only served to make France's defence tighten up even more and frustrate the Three Lions. Just like in September, Deschamps - who'd lifted the 1998 FIFA World Cup trophy as France captain - was tactically outwitting Catterall, whose infamous missed penalty had knocked England out of said tournament.

 

Catterall's last act of desperation was to bring on Shaw as a late replacement for Targett, who'd surprisingly managed to keep Coman in check to some extent. Manchester United's left-back had become a serial winner at Old Trafford in recent years, but Shaw could not salvage a victory from this match.

 

By the 89th minute, every blue shirt was sitting deep in the French half, blocking anything and everything the Three Lions could hurl at them. That was exemplified by midfield playmaker Kondogbia throwing himself in front of a strike from Henderson, who would later be booked following a frustrated trip on Martial. Shaw also ended up in Zwicker's notebook before the match was out.

 

A second straight goalless draw for England was met by a chorus of boos from the home supporters. The Three Lions had not built on their excellent World Cup campaign, winning just one out of four Nations Cup matches. France would be progressing to the Semi Finals as winners of Group 3 instead.

 

If it was any consolation to England, their conquerors at the World Cup - subsequent champions Belgium - had also missed out on the Semi Finals. They too had finished runners-up in their group, trailing Germany in Group 1 on head-to-head. Switzerland and Portugal - winners of Groups 2 and 4 respectively - completed the line-up for the final four.

 

20 November 2018: UEFA Nations League Division A Group 3 - at Wembley, London

England - 0

France - 0

ENGLAND LINE-UP (4-2-3-1): Joe Hart; Nathaniel Clyne, Michael Keane, John Stones, Matthew Targett (Luke Shaw); Eric Dier, Jordan Henderson; Demarai Gray, Dele Alli (Ross Barkley), Adam Lallana; Harry Kane (Callum Wilson). BOOKED: Dier 13, Henderson 90, Shaw 90+1.

 

2018/2019 UEFA Nations League Division A Group 3 (Final Standings)

                                   P     W     D     L     F     A     GD    PTS
1.    Q     France                 4     2     1     1     4     3     1     7
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
2.          England                4     1     2     1     3     2     1     5
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
3.    R     Russia                 4     1     1     2     2     4     -2    4

 

Catterall had little desire to meet the press after another frustrating evening for his team. Instead, the journalists would have to seek the thoughts of England's penalty villain.

 

ITV reporter Gabriel Clarke asked Kane, "Harry, how disappointed are you that your penalty potentially cost England a place in the Nations League Semi Finals?"

 

Kane eloquently replied, "Yeah, y'know, I'm sick as a parrot... y'know, I'm gutted, really. I just have to stay positive, y'know, 'cos at the end of the day, y'know, it is what it is. You've got to move on and look forward, y'know. That's what it's all about, really."

 

"Truer words have never been said, Harry," Clarke uttered succinctly.

 

Kane answered a few more questions from Clarke and then quietly made his way to the dressing room, where he sat down on the bench and suddenly burst out crying.

 

"Harry?" Alli gasped. "You alright, fella?"

 

"I'm so sorry," Kane sobbed. "I let you all down!"

 

Dier - another of Kane's Tottenham colleagues - said, "No, no, don't say that. You stepped up for us when we needed you." Dier then sat down beside Kane and offered a consoling pat on the back.

 

Kane's voice continued to break as he said, "I shouldn't have, y'know, taken that penalty. Y'know, I missed a penalty against Australia as well, so that's two I've missed now. And even I know two wrongs don't make an Ian Wright."

 

"Actually, Harry, that other penalty was against Austria, but that's neither here nor there. Don't beat yourself up over it. These things happen."

 

Captain Henderson added, "We don't think any less of you 'cos you missed, mate. Like the others have said, you fronted up when we needed someone to front up. We all believed you could do it, but that weren't a bad save from Lloris, to be fair."

 

Catterall then came over and said, "Okay, lads, leave him to it. Harry, can you come outside with me for a moment?"

 

Kane nodded before following Catterall out of the dressing room. As the pair slowly walked down the corridor, Catterall asked, "Do you remember the World Cup in France, in 1998?"

 

"I dunno, gaffer," Kane shrugged. "I don't think I was even born in '98. Were dinosaurs around then?"

 

"They were running the Tory Party, if I remember correctly. Anyway, it was the Last 16 - England against Argentina. It finished 2-2 after extra-time. Argentina went 3-2 up in the penalty shoot-out, and so someone had to step forward to try and keep England in the tournament."

 

"Who was that?"

 

"Me, of course. I'd only scored twice for England at that point, and I was absolutely crapping myself. Suffice to say, Carlos Roa easily saved my penalty and we went out. But nobody blamed me for that, really. If anything, they blamed David Beckham for kicking out at [Diego] Simeone early in the second half and getting himself sent off."

 

"So what happened next?"

 

Catterall explained, "About five months later, we played the Czech Republic at Wembley. I almost gifted them a goal with a terrible clearance in the third minute, but I didn't let that bother me. About midway through the first half, Ian Wright cut a deep low cross into the box from the left wing. The cross slipped past Dion Dublin, but I arrived late in the box to drill it between the keeper and his near post.

 

"That was my third England goal. It would also be my last, but the confidence boost I felt at that moment... it was as if Saint-Étienne never happened."

 

Kane asked, "Saint-Étienne. What's that?"

 

"That's the city where we lost to the Argies."

 

The pair then stopped walking as Catterall offered up another tale for Kane. "You know all about Stuart 'Psycho' Pearce, right?"

 

Kane nodded, "Yeah. I remember my dad talking about him and Chris Waddle, y'know, missing them penalties against Germany a few years back. Was that when the English started to hate penalties?"

 

"Italia '90, that's right. But six years later, at Euro '96, we were in the Quarter Finals against Spain. That also went to penalties, and Psycho took our third one. It weren't the best penalty in the world, but it slipped past [Andoni] Zubizarreta in the Spanish goal. You could just see afterwards how much scoring that penalty meant to him."

 

"And did you win that game?"

 

"Yes, we did. Spain missed two penalties; we scored all ours. Of course, we weren't quite so prolific when it came to the Semi Final against Germany... but let's not talk about that, eh?"

 

Kane asked, "So... what you're saying, gaffer, is that it ain't the end of the world if you miss a penalty? Or two penalties? And things like that make you want to do better next time?"

 

"Exactly, Harry. It's like what Malcolm X once said." Catterall then quoted the African-American human rights activist, "There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time."

 

"Ah, right. So it's a bit like that Kelly Clarkson song?"

 

"Yes, you could say that. What doesn't ki-"

 

Kane interrupted Catterall by singing, "This is my heartbeat song and I'm gonna play it. Been so long I forgot how to turn it up, up, up, up all night long! Oh, up, up, all night long!" He then smiled and said, "Such a great song, innit?"

[CFuller]

Chapter 25 - A Winter Of Discontent

 

"Mum? Dad? Are we there yet?"

 

Luke Catterall was getting a little impatient in the back seat of the family car. The Catterall family had been driving up the M6 for close to an hour as they made their way towards Liverpool on the Sunday afternoon of 2 December.

 

"It'll be another hour, Luke," Jenny replied as she continued driving.

 

"Another hour? I'm bored already."

 

Sitting beside Jenny in the front passenger seat, Mark turned his head back towards Luke and suggested, "Why don't you read one of those Braille books on the side?"

 

"I've read them all before. They're not very interesting. I've been listening to Ed Sheeran instead, but his CD has finished now."

 

"How's about I get you another CD to listen to, then? Jenny, where d'you keep the CDs?"

 

Jenny said, "Like I always say, Mark, they're in the big black box in the glove compartment. We've got loads of them in there."

 

Mark opened the glove compartment door and then brought out a black box before flicking through some CDs. "Okay, so what have we got here? Oasis, The Courteeners, Rita Ora, Morrissey..."

 

"Forget Morrissey. I'm not sure Luke should be listening to racists like him."

 

Luke asked, "Is George Ezra in there?"

 

"George Ezra?" Mark asked. "Who's she?"

 

"He's not a girl, dad! George Ezra has a very nice voice. I really like his songs, especially the one about the wonky waiter!"

 

Mark turned to Jenny with a confused look, as if to ask what on Earth their son was talking about. Jenny clarified, "He probably means 'Blame It On Me'. They play that song on Absolute Radio almost every day, Mark. You'll know it when you hear it."

 

Mark flicked through the CDs and found a disc for Ezra's debut album "Wanted On Voyage". Luke then handed over his CD player to Mark so that he could replace the disc. When he got his CD player back, Luke smiled, "Thank you."

 

"You know, son... I think you could do with an MP3 player, so that you don't to mess around with CDs anymore. It'd be much more convenient for you in the long run."

 

"I know," Luke nodded. "But I really like CDs. I like the feel of them."

 

Jenny smiled, and then told Mark, "You know, Mark... Luke reminds me of what you were like with your vinyl records! It took me ages to convince you to switch over to CDs! I wouldn't be surprised if you said that your father was still sending telegrams in his 50s!"

 

"Are you saying us Mancs are backwards?" Mark asked half-bemusedly. Meanwhile, Luke started to gently sway his head joyfully to the vocals of Ezra, "The garden was blessed by the Gods of me and you, we headed west to find ourselves some truth, oh... what you're waiting for? What you're waiting for?"

 

An hour later, the Catteralls arrived at their destination - Anfield, where Manchester United supporters Jenny and Luke would watch their team take on arch-rivals Liverpool in the Premier League. Awaiting them were two Reds fans who also had a (former) husband and father in common.

 

"Welcome to Liverpool, Dad!" Ashley Minton beamed as she hugged Mark just outside the stadium. Her mother Kat then came over to greet Jenny and Luke.

 

"Thanks for inviting us over, love," Mark mumbled in Ashley's ear. As the pair stopped hugging, Mark took a step back, "I'm sure you've been dying to meet these two. This is Jennifer, my lovely wife..."

 

"Nice to meet you, Jennifer," Ashley smiled. "Or can I call you Jenny?"

 

"Jenny's fine, dear. Or Jen."

 

Ashley then bent down slightly to greet Luke. "And you must be Luke! I'm your half-sister, Ashley! I have heard so, so much about how special you are." She then stretched a hand out, as if requesting a handshake, but Mark whispered, "I think it'd be better if you just touched his hand."

 

"Ah, sorry," Ashley apologised, as she gently touched Luke's right hand. "I don't have much experience with kids like Luke."

 

Luke said, "It's okay. It can take time for other people to get used to me."

 

Kat cooed, "He's such a polite and patient young boy, ain't he?"

 

"Believe me, he's just like any other boy when you get to know him," Jenny said. She then gently wrapped a Manchester United scarf around Luke's neck and asked, "Are you looking forward to the match, Luke?"

 

"Of course. I think United will win 3-0. [Paul] Pogba will get one goal, and Robert [Lewandowski] will get two."

 

Ashley replied confidently, "Ooh, I'm not sure about that, mate! I'm a Liverpool girl, you see, and I reckon we're gonna wipe the floor with United, like!"

 

"United haven't lost a league game all season."

 

"Well, there's always a first time for everything, ain't there?"

 

The Catteralls and the Mintons then took their seats amongst the home supporters in the Kop Stand. A few eyebrows were raised upon seeing Luke in his United scarf, but there was no real animosity shown towards the group.

 

One fan could be heard asking, "Is that Mark Catterall?" Another replied, "If it is, then I'm Maggie f***ing Thatcher."

 

Before the players emerged from the tunnel for the latest North West derby, the Anfield crowd - as had become tradition - burst into a loud rendition of the Liverpool club anthem, "You'll Never Walk Alone".

 

"This isn't The Beatles, is it?" Luke asked.

 

"You ain't been to Liverpool before, have you, lad?" Kat responded. "This is Gerry & The Pacemakers - the second-greatest band to come out our city."

 

"The Teardrop Explodes weren't too bad, either," Mark added.

 

Jenny laughed, "Now you're really showing your age!"

[CFuller]

***

 

The North West derby was once considered to be one of the fiercest and most competitive in world football. On this occasion, though, it was abundantly clear that - even on home soil - Liverpool were no match for Manchester United's dream team.

 

Liverpool launched the first attack at Anfield, only to be quickly countered with a sucker punch after just two minutes. United's £56million striker Robert Lewandowski sought out Juan Mata on the right wing, and the Spaniard's cross was headed home at the near post by Henrikh Mkhitaryan.

 

While most of the crowd at the Kop End were left stunned, Luke Catterall couldn't contain his delight. Mark Catterall had a wry smile etched on his face as his United-supporting son celebrated a dream start for José Mourinho's imperious champions.

 

Liverpool had several chances to equalise in the first half, but profligate finishing from playmaker Oğuzhan Özyakup and striker Álvaro Morata frequently let them down. David De Gea's only save in the Red Devils goal before half-time came on 38 minutes, when he parried away a Morata half-volley from Roberto Firmino's flick-on.

 

The visitors would strike again a little over five minutes into the second period. Ander Herrera was dispossessed mid-dribble by Liverpool midfield counterpart Emre Can, but Emre couldn't keep the loose ball from finding Mata. The experienced inside-forward took one touch and then swerved an incredible shot beyond the reach of Reds keeper Loris Karius.

 

"2-0!" Luke declared joyfully. "Mata's scored 10 goals this season now!"

 

"Sounds like you know your stuff, la'," replied his half-sister Ashley.

 

"Luke's obsessed with United," Jenny Catterall nodded. She then turned to our son and said, "You're full of United facts, aren't you, Luke? You soak them up like a sponge."

 

The Red Devils continued to test Karius throughout the match, though they wouldn't add to their lead. Captain Paul Pogba - Luke's favourite player - dictated play in midfield once again and could consider himself unlucky not to get on the scoresheet this time around.

 

From an England perspective, Mark was pleased to see Luke Shaw put in another sterling performance at left-back for United. The Liverpool trio of right-back Nathaniel Clyne and midfielders Jordan Henderson and Adam Lallana had not disgraced themselves by any means, though they had simply been outclassed. More disappointingly, Daniel Sturridge never really got into the game after replacing Morata in the Reds' frontline for the final half-hour.

 

A comfortable 2-0 win saw Manchester United continue their unbeaten start and move a step closer to emulating Arsenal's 2003/2004 'Invincibles'. Back-to-back Premier League titles already looked like a formality for Mourinho and his men.

 

Luke and Jenny revelled in United's victory, while Ashley and her mother Kat accepted that their Liverpool team had been emphatically outclassed. As a neutral, Mark was simply pleased that he'd witnessed a decent match and that his England players had not only avoided serious injuries but also performed well on the most part.

 

The group then went to a local restaurant to have an evening meal before parting ways.

 

"I knew United would win," Luke smiled as he tucked into a piece of lamb. "We are unbeatable."

 

"Don't eat with your mouth full, love," Jenny gently admonished Luke.

 

"Sorry, Mum," Luke apologised. He then innocently asked, "I'm... not making a mess, am I? You know what I'm like with some food... and drink."

 

"You're fine, Luke. There's no mess on you right now."

 

Kat said, "You're a little star, you are, Luke. Y'know, I wish I had a son like you."

 

"Luke, have you thanked Kat and Ash for inviting you to come watch the game?" Mark asked his son, who then said, "Thank you, Kat and Ashley!"

 

"You're always welcome, lad," Kat smiled.

 

Ashley said, "It was great that we could all meet up for the big game. Of course, we wish the result had been different, but I guess it weren't to be our day."

 

Kat added, "Liverpool fans are very passionate about their team, but we're always gracious in defeat. As long as the lads gave their all, we support them."

 

Mark murmured, "Yeah, but chances are that Karius is getting death threats on Twitter as we speak."

 

Kat took some offence to that remark. "Excuse me? That ain't just a Liverpool problem, y'know. Twitter's full of idiots who like to send nasty messages to sports stars and celebs. You won't catch our Ash on that site, will ya?"

 

Ashley shook her head, "I don't have nothing to do with it. I've got an Instagram page that I share with my mates and the Liverpool girls, but that's all."

 

Luke then reached for his glass of coke, only to accidentally spill it on his lap and let out a restrained yelp.

 

Jenny stammered, "Oh dear, Luke... it's... it's okay, love, don't panic. We'll... we'll get you cleaned up."

 

Jenny then took Luke by the hand and walked him to the toilets, leaving Mark to speak with Kat and Ashley. He asked his daughter, "So, how's the season going with Liverpool?"

 

Ashley said, "We're 2nd, behind Manchester City. I've played a few more games off the bench since we last met. I scored against West Ham United last week, and the coach is thinking of starting me at Arsenal on Tuesday."

 

"That would be your... second start with Liverpool, would it?"

 

"Third, actually. If I can keep progressing as I am, I'm sure I'll be back in the England Under-19s for the next European qualifiers in April. They had the draw for the second round yesterday."

 

Mark raised his eyebrows. "I forgot about that. Who'd you get?"

 

"We're in a group with Wales, Russia and... Bulgaria, I think. Anyway, all the games are being played in... Ryazan? In Russia?"

 

"Uh-oh," Mark mumbled, before covering his mouth with his right hand.

 

"What do you mean, uh-oh?" Kat asked sternly.

 

Mark put his hand back on the table and told Ashley, "You can't go to Russia, love. In fact, the whole team can't go."

 

"Why not?" Ashley exclaimed. "This will be the most important week of our careers! If we win our group, we'll go to the European Championship!"

 

"No England side is going to that God-forsaken cesspit on my terms. I don't want a repeat of what happened with the men in Moscow last month!"

 

Kat half-laughed disdainfully, "You're joking, right? A few idiots kick up a fuss and you decide to boycott the whole country?"

 

"So it's okay to stay off Twitter because you might get some grief there, but it's NOT okay to stay away from a place where you know you'll be abused?"

 

"Aren't you just giving in to the racist minority?"

 

"I'm not giving in to them; I'm standing up to them. Russia won't act on racism unless they learn what we and other major associations think of it. Anyway, if Ashley went to Russia and had bananas thrown at her there, I would never forgive myself!"

 

"Dad, I'm 17!" Ashley exclaimed. "I'm not the little girl I was when you and Mum got divorced! I can make my own decisions and stand up for myself!"

 

Kat stated, "Ashley's nearly all grown up, so it's up to her whether she wants to go. Besides, it ain't your call to make, is it, Mark? You're in charge of the men's teams, but not the women's."

 

Mark growled at Ashley, "You're not going there, and neither are your team-mates. That is FINAL!"

 

"You're a disgrace, Mark Brian Catterall!" Kat shouted as she and Ashley stood up from their chairs. "This is why we split up in the first place! You don't care about anyone else but yourself and your own agenda!"

 

Ashley was on the verge of tears as she snarled, "I wish I'd never met you again. You might be my father, but you ain't no da' of mine."

 

"Let's get you home, love," Kat whispered as she put her arm around Ashley before they left the restaurant. Mark then slunk back in his seat in despair as several onlookers stared at him in stunned silence.

 

Moments later, Jenny and a cleaned-up Luke returned from the toilets. Upon noticing the empty seats at their table, Jenny asked, "Mark? Where have Katherine and Ashley gone?"

 

Mark let out a reluctant sigh and then said, "This is gonna take some explaining..."

[CFuller]

***

 

The 12 finalists for the 2019 UEFA European Under-21s Championship in Italy had now been decided. The draw for the Group Stage of the main tournament took place in Bologna on 6 December 2018.

 

This was the seventh European Under-21s Championship in a row in which England had qualified. Manager Mark Catterall and head coach David Byrne were both in attendance for the draw, where they would learn the identities their first three opponents in their quest to make amends for the 2017 Final defeat to Portugal.

 

Holders Portugal had narrowly scraped into the main stages of the competition, as they had to win a play-off against Norway after finishing behind Spain in their qualifying group. France, whom England had pipped to top spot in Group 5, had also qualified via the back door, defeating 2015 winners Sweden over two legs.

 

Several high-profile nations were not as fortunate as Portugal or France. Belgium, Germany and the Netherlands - all of whom had been in the same group at Poland 2017 - had surprisingly failed to qualify this time around.

 

There were a host of less-fancied nations in the mix this time around. The likes of Israel, Romania and Slovenia were all looking to enjoy the surprise success Sweden had enjoyed in the Czech Republic four years previously. Once again, though, England were the lone soldiers in terms of British and Irish participation.

 

Once again, the 12 finalists were divided into three groups of four teams. Only the group winners and the best runners-up would go through to the Semi Finals.

 

2019 UEFA European Under-21s Championship Group Stage draw

GROUP A: Denmark, England, Greece, Spain

GROUP B: Israel, Italy (hosts), Portugal (holders), Serbia

GROUP C: France, Romania, Slovenia, Turkey

 

Group B was the most intriguing of the groups. Host nation Italy and defending champions Portugal would be pitted against one another, and they would also have to contend with dark horses Serbia. Poor old Israel must have been wondering what they had done to deserve being pooled in with those three fearsome foes!

 

England's group was slightly kinder, giving Catterall and Byrne real hope that they could go all the way to the Final again. That being said, all three opponents would pose their own challenges.

 

The Young Lions' biggest rivals would almost certainly be Spain. La Rojita could boast top-quality players such as Benfica's French-born left-back Theo Hernández. In midfield, they possessed Real Sociedad's Mikel Oyarzábal and the flamboyant Dani Ceballos, who'd cost AFC Bournemouth a club-record £25.5million from Real Betis in January.

 

Denmark were not a team to be messed with, either. Borussia Dortmund winger Jacob Bruun Larsen and Real Madrid right-back Lars Markfoged had each been capped at senior level while still teenagers, while FC Twente's Joachim Andersen was carving out a reputation as one of the best young defenders in Dutch football.

 

Greece were the likely group underdogs, but in Crotone striker Anastasios Donis, they had one of the top goalscorers in Serie B. Interestingly, Donis was born in Blackburn in 1996, when his father Giorgos was playing as a midfielder in the same Blackburn Rovers team as a certain Mark Catterall.

 

England would have to be wary of the Galanolefki's attacking threat when they played them in their opening group fixture in Cesena on 19 June. The Young Lions would not have to travel too far from Cesena for their second group game, against Denmark in Bologna on 23 June. Five days after that, they would be due back in Cesena to face Spain.

 

Catterall arranged four friendly matches for his team in the build-up to the finals. The Young Lions would travel to Portugal on 28 March and Slovenia on 1 April, ahead of a home friendly against Romania in Milton Keynes on 8 June. Their next destination after that was Varese, where they would take on tournament hosts Italy on 13 June before making their final preparations for the tournament.

 

Interestingly, England would also be scheduled to play Portugal and Greece later in the year, having been pitted against them in the same qualifying group for the 2021 European Under-21s Championship. Also pooled into Group 8 were the rather less substantial threats of Albania, Georgia and Macedonia.

 

The qualifying phase would begin in September 2019, with the eventual group winners progressing to the finals, which would take place in... Italy! Again!

 

UEFA President Aleksander Čeferin was asked in an exclusive interview with The Guardian about the decision to award Italy the rights to stage back-to-back European Under-21s Championships. The Slovenian insisted, "Nothing untoward has occurred. Italy won the rights fair and square," before pouring himself a glass of Chianti Classico red wine.

[CFuller]

***

 

UEFA's drawmasters were put to good use again on 23 December. Less than 48 hours before Christmas, the great and the good - and the Scottish - of European football descended on the Convention Centre Dublin in the Republic of Ireland for the 2020 European Championship Qualifying Round draw.

 

Controversially, Euro 2020 would be staged in not one or two host nations, but across 13 different cities - from Glasgow to Baku, from Saint Petersburg to Bilbao. Back in 2012, UEFA's then-President Michel Platini had announced this bold new approach to tournament logistics, mainly to celebrate the 60th anniversary of the first European Championship.

 

Although Platini's reputation was subsequently irreparably damaged by allegations of corruption that resulted in him being banned from football in 2015, his brainchild lived on. For one year only, the Euros would be going on tour, giving almost a quarter of UEFA's 55 members a taste of hosting a major tournament in the summer of 2020. That grand tour would end at London's Wembley Stadium, which would host both Semi Finals as well as the Final.

 

There were no automatic qualifiers for this European Championship. Instead, all 55 teams went straight into the Qualifying Round draw. They would end up in one of 10 groups - half consisting of six teams apiece, and half consisting of only five.

 

The qualifying rounds would be played throughout 2019, with the top two teams in each group progressing to the finals. For those who missed out, though, all wasn't lost. There would still be four play-off places up for grabs in spring 2020, thanks to the convoluted Nations League play-off system.

 

Basically, everyone knew that a top-two finish would see them through, without the need of an abacus or a Nobel laureate to work out if they could still qualify via the back door. As the third-highest ranked nation in Europe, England were placed amongst the top seeds, and thus would avoid other big-hitters such as Belgium, France and Portugal.

 

England boss Mark Catterall was in Dublin for the draw ceremony, along with three prominent figures from the Football Association. Vice-chairwoman Connie Millstone spent much of the afternoon schmoozing executives from several other UEFA members to support the FA's bid for the 2030 FIFA World Cup. Meanwhile, chairman Clark Gregory and communications director Ava Leggett sat down with Catterall for a discussion.

 

Gregory began, "I think we need to talk... about Russia."

 

"I'm not going back on what I said, Clark," Catterall insisted. "Sting once said that the Russians love their children too, but they also love to abuse any people who don't look like they do. Bigotry in Russian football won't stop until they get suitably punished."

 

"I don't disagree with you there, Mark. Frankly, the latest fine UEFA have handed the Russian FA is an absolute joke. 30,000 Swiss francs? [Aleksander] Čeferin must be having a laugh if he thinks that'll make a difference!"

 

"I'm thinking the only things that'll make Russia sit up are stadium bans... or mass boycotts."

 

Leggett said, "If there's gonna be a boycott, it can't be just one nation doing it. That'd leave us open to severe sanctions from FIFA and UEFA."

 

"That's true, but who else would go along with that?"

 

"France's players also got abused when they were in Moscow in September. President [Emmanuel] Macron was furious and wanted the FFF to pull out of their home match with the Russians in October, but he was advised against doing so, as that would've got FIFA's backs up. They hate government interference, as you know."

 

"Yeah, of course."

 

"I've also heard whispers that the DFB [the German Football Association] might back us up and boycott Russia as well. Maybe we could open up discussions with those associations about taking firm action together."

 

"You're alright, Ava. Maybe one association standing up for about 200 others might just be all it takes."

 

Gregory asked Catterall, "So you want all England teams to stop playing in Russia going forward? Even the girls' team?"

 

"Yes, even the women's Under-19s. I know they're meant to go to Ryazan to play some Euro qualifiers in April, but that ain't happening on my watch. Not after what we had to put up with at the Luzhniki."

 

Leggett argued, "But what about your daughter? She's in that team. Have you had a word with her about your reservations?"

 

"I did. About three weeks ago, after we watched Liverpool play United at Anfield. Ashley was right p***ed off, but this is for her and her team-mates' own good. You can't send a group of young people over to Russia and let them get dog's abuse, some of them only because of the colour of their skin!"

 

"You seem to feel awfully strongly about this," Gregory said.

 

"Of course, I do! My daughter is a quarter black, in case you didn't realise!"

 

"Okay, calm down," Leggett said. "There's about three months to go until we have to decide if the girls can go to Russia, so let's hold fire and not do anything we might regret."

 

"That's a good point, Ava," Gregory nodded. He then turned her and smiled, "Now, could you be a dear and get me a sandwich?"

 

Leggett growled, "Get your own freaking sandwich!" She then got out of her chair and stormed away, muttering under her breath, "Sexist pig!"

 

Gregory shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly as Catterall rolled his eyes and slowly shook his head in disdain. The chairman then ended a brief stand-off by saying, "Well, at least we can't draw Russia in these qualifiers, as they're seeded with us."

 

"That's a relief," Catterall said. "But there are some strong teams we could still get. Austria, Croatia, Denmark, Sweden... Iceland."

 

"I wouldn't be fretting about Croatia. The Croatian FA is as corrupt as anything, and with [Luka] Modric and [Ivan] Rakitic now retired, I bet the team will fall apart before long. You might have a point about the others, though."

 

"What about the Home Nations? Scotland were easy pickings last time, obviously, but you have to think Wales and the two Irelands could be tougher teams to beat."

 

Gregory chuckled, "Oh, Mark, I'm not worried one bit. You could ask David Byrne to take his Under-21s to Wembley and we'd still kick them Celts all the way back to whence they came. As far as I'm concerned, they're all six points safely in the bag, so bring them on!"

 

2020 UEFA European Championship qualifying draw

GROUP A: Spain, Bosnia & Herzegovina, Slovenia, Belarus, Georgia, Malta

GROUP B: Russia, Croatia, Norway, Lithuania, Macedonia, Kosovo

GROUP C: Belgium, Greece, Slovakia, Armenia, Latvia, San Marino

GROUP D: Netherlands, Poland, Denmark, Albania, Kazakhstan, Andorra

GROUP E: England, Austria, Wales, Northern Ireland, Moldova, Gibraltar

GROUP F: France, Ukraine, Montenegro, Bulgaria, Azerbaijan

GROUP G: Italy, Romania, Israel, Serbia, Faroe Islands

GROUP H: Germany, Iceland, Sweden, Finland, Luxembourg

GROUP I: Portugal (holders), Czech Republic, Turkey, Scotland, Cyprus

GROUP J: Switzerland, Hungary, Republic of Ireland, Estonia, Liechtenstein

 

The big headline from England's perspective was that they would have home-and-away meetings with two of their Home Nations rivals to look forward to. Wales - spearheaded by Gareth Bale, and managed by Claudio Ranieri - would fancy their chances of giving the Three Lions bloody noses, as would Michael O'Neill and his 'Green & White Army' from Northern Ireland.

 

Austria would also pose a significant threat as second seeds. The Burschen may have lost 2-0 when Catterall took his team to Vienna in September, but they later won promotion to Division A of the Nations League, underlining their status as a steadily-improving nation.

 

Moldova were not expected to pull up any trees, and Gibraltar certainly weren't. The Llanitos were gluttons for punishment when it came to international football, having lost all but four of their official matches over the past four years.

 

England had been put into easier qualifying groups in the past, that was for sure. While their opening match at home to Gibraltar on 30 March was unlikely to have a big say in their chances of going through to the finals, their first away fixture in Austria three days later would surely be more significant.

 

Catterall, Leggett and Gregory discussed the draw in the foyer afterwards. The latter was particularly buoyant, crowing, "That group is a piece of cake, Mark! If you don't get 30 points out of 30 again, I might have to fire you!"

 

"I just want to make sure we finish in that top two, Clark," Catterall replied. "Austria were tough to break down in Vienna last time, and I reckon they'll be our toughest opponents of the lot."

 

Leggett added, "And you've got to think Wales will be up there as well. They'll want to prove that they're the best British team..."

 

Gregory scoffed, "Oh, please, Ava! Wales? With the Tinkerman in charge and that bun-haired chimp Bale on the left wing? They'd have a better chance if 'Batman' Christian Bale was in the team!"

 

"Actually, Ben Affleck is Batman now..."

 

"So f***ing what?"

 

Catterall said, "Also, Northern Ireland are a well-drilled team who know their strengths and weaknesses, so they won't be easy opponents either. We don't really know that much about Moldova or Gibraltar, either, to be honest. In a way, every match will take some work to win."

 

"So get to work, then," Gregory said. "But how about you do some late Christmas shopping first? Your wife and son will be wanting something from Dublin, won't they?"

 

"Sure. Come to think of it, Jenny's coat has seen better days, so I think I'll look for one in Marks O'Spencer, or whatever they call that over here."

 

Leggett suggested, "How about I come with you, Mark? You know I've got a real eye for fashion."

 

"And you're about the same build and age as Jenny. Okay, why not?"

 

Millstone then joined the group, wearing a broad grin across her face. Gregory snarled, "What are you smiling about? Did the government just vote to stop Brexit?"

 

Millstone replied, "No, but it's even better. I think I've secured most of the European votes for 2030!"

 

"How the hell did you pull that off? Haven't we got four or five other countries bidding against us?"

 

"Yes, but I had a word with President Čeferin. He said that our bid was the strongest and that he'd try and convince the undecideds on the FIFA Council to vote for us in July."

 

Gregory sighed, "I never thought I'd have to say this, but good work, Connie."

 

"Thanks. I might have had to put an Alexander McQueen jacket into the deal as a sweetener, but... all's well that ends well, isn't it? Isn't it?"

[CFuller]

***

 

On one Tuesday morning early in February 2019, the Football Association board were summoned to an emergency meeting at Wembley Stadium. FA chairman Clark Gregory was about to inform them of developments that would potentially have massive repercussions for English football, possibly for decades to come.

 

Gregory began, "As you know, I was out of the country for a few weeks last month. That's because I've been in discussions with a billionaire businessman from Qatar, who has a very interesting proposal for us."

 

"Please continue, Mr Gregory," chief executive David Whiteman nodded. "I am intrigued to discover what this gentleman has proposed."

 

"I'll get straight to it. This man, Saoud Hussein..."

 

Vice-chair Connie Millstone interrupted, "I know that name. He's the guy who bought Colchester United last summer, isn't he?"

 

Gregory growled, "Right county, wrong club. He bought Southend United, you daft bint! Anyway, Saoud has made a proposal to buy this very building from us... for £800million."

 

Mouths dropped across the room, and Millstone asked, "Can you repeat that?"

 

"Saoud Hussein is offering us £800million for Wembley. Personally, I think we should take the money and run."

 

Whiteman struggled to comprehend the news. "Goodness gracious... that is an astounding offer from someone whom I presume is extraordinarily wealthy. However, with all due respect to Mr Hussein, Wembley Stadium is a priceless national institution as far as I am concerned. It cannot be sold!"

 

Gregory shook his head. "Come off it, David. I know you went to the very first game at the old Wembley in 1923, but don't let your heart rule your head! It's not as if the Queen is flogging Buckingham Palace to McDonald's!"

 

"I honestly believed that you were a conservative traditionalist, Mr Gregory, and that you had no intention of foregoing the Football Association's crown jewels."

 

"I'm a conservative, yes, but I'm from a business background and I know an attractive offer when I see one," Gregory retorted.

 

Millstone agreed, "I'm with Clark. £800million is game-changing money for English football."

 

"At long last, Connie Millstone and I agree on something!" Gregory exclaimed as he turned back to Whiteman. "You see, David? Connie might've voted 'Remain' in 2016, but even she understands that this makes perfect sense!"

 

Whiteman said, "I am still not entirely convinced on the merits of Mr Hussein's offer, and even less so on the figure that has been offered in exchange for this stadium. I would like to thoroughly examine the proposal before we blindingly accept it."

 

Gregory handed Whiteman a folder of papers, detailing Hussein's proposal to buy Wembley, and his long-term plans for the stadium. As the septuagenarian executive examined the papers, Millstone thought aloud about what the FA could spend such a vast amount of money on.

 

"If we accept this offer, just think about all the investments we could make to grass-roots football in this country. We could build hundreds if not thousands of all-weather pitches in every corner of England. We could provide vital financial support to non-league clubs, stopping them from going out of business and leaving their communities bereft.

 

"From a personal standpoint, it could also give a significant boost to our bid to host the FIFA World Cup in 2030. We'll still do everything above board, of course, but the word in Zürich is that the FIFA Council member from Palestine really wants tickets for the FA Cup Final. They don't come cheap, you know."

 

Gregory smiled, but Whiteman bore a look of concern when he'd finished reading the papers in the folder. He stated, "These numbers simply do not add up to a meaningful profit for the Football Association. When one takes into consideration the original cost of rebuilding Wembley Stadium, and the arrears that this association owe to Her Majesty's Revenue & Customs, we would - in actual fact - be accepting a considerable net loss."

 

Millstone stammered, "Well... erm... we'd still have enough money to, er, invest in some synthetic pitches in Oxfordshire, right? Right?"

 

"An even greater concern to myself is Mr Hussein's proposal for the stadium's future, should we agree to sell. This gentleman desires to convert the home of English football into an arena for the obscene motorsport that many people call..." Whiteman then took a gulp before grimly concluding his sentence, "Demolition derby."

 

Another FA board member quipped, "Demolition Derby? That sounds like your Rams' last season in the Premier League, Clark!" That board member got a swift tongue-lashing and was ordered out of the room.

 

"I don't see what the problem is, David," Millstone said. "The youth of today absolutely love monster trucks! They can't get enough of them. Throw in the EDM of Martin Garrix, and you've got a spectacle for the 21st century!"

 

Whiteman shook his head, "What in God's name does the electric dipole moment have to do with this... monstrosity?"

 

Gregory said, "Admittedly, it would be a shame to rip up most of the Wembley pitch to make way for a new motorsport arena. Still, we could always move the cup and play-off Finals to Old Trafford and take the England men's team across the country. We don't have to play all our home matches in London."

 

Millstone added, "Just look at all the world-class stadia we could use: The Emirates, the Etihad, St James' Park, Villa Park, the Kassam Stadium, Anfield..."

 

"We can't go to Anfield," Gregory interrupted, explaining, "The Sun is banned in Liverpool, and we don't want to exclude them from England games. That'd give us the impression that we're all left-wing loony snowflakes who hate freedom of speech."

 

Another FA board member then suggested, in a broad Lancastrian accent, "Maybe England could play at Turf Moor when one of the minnow teams come over, like Gibraltar... or Wales."

 

"Oh, Lord, not Mr Burnley Idiot again!" Gregory groaned. "I thought we sacked you from the board years ago!"

 

Millstone then asked, "So we all agree that we should sell up to Saoud, right?" Many of the board members - including Gregory - declared their agreement, but one man was still vehemently against the proposal.

 

Whiteman said, "I am incredibly aghast at the thought of the Football Association selling its soul to Mr Hussein, and I can imagine that many of my compatriots would feel the same way.

 

"Take the England manager, for example. Mark Catterall is a patriotic Englishman who has served this association with honour for the past decade. How would Mr Catterall feel if he heard about this development?"

 

"We can't base our decision simply on what the f***ing England manager thinks!" Gregory exclaimed. He then took a deep breath and sighed, "You know, I get that this is a big call. Let's take some time to negotiate with Saoud and then think things over. He is a very patient man, so he'll understand."

[CFuller]

***

 

2018 had been the year in which Manchester United roared back into life, winning their first Premier League title since the retirement of Sir Alex Ferguson. José Mourinho was now running the show at Old Trafford, which he ruled with an iron fist. The ultimate power couple of English football would grow even stronger as 2019 dawned.

 

The Red Devils were cruising towards back-to-back titles, sitting eight points clear of Chelsea at the top of the table come the new year. They had even been on course for an unbeaten season in the league prior to a 1-0 defeat at Stamford Bridge on 29 December. In spite of that, Mourinho's squad looked strong enough already to sweep all before him and keep the league championship in his cold Portuguese hands. However, he still wanted more.

 

Everton's 22-year-old centre-half Brendan Galloway was rated as one of the best young defenders in European football. His consistently assured performances for the Toffees had seen him strongly tipped for senior international honours in the near-future, not to mention big-money move away from Goodison Park.

 

The Manchester giants had long been rumoured to be making January moves for Galloway, and after months of speculation, it was the red half of the city who won the battle for the Zimbabwean-born powerhouse. £19.75million was too much for Everton to resist, and as the new year was being ushered in, Galloway was formally announced as a Manchester United player.

 

United already had a bevy of top-quality centre-backs, headed by Germany's Antonio Rüdiger and the Ivory Coast's Eric Bailly, with England aces Phil Jones and Chris Smalling featuring on at least a semi-regular basis. Galloway could also play on the left side of the defence, which gave Mourinho an alternative to first-choice Luke Shaw and his understudy Jairo Riedewald.

 

Galloway's United career began on New Year's Day with a 4-0 home thrashing of Brighton & Hove Albion, in which he played a starring role. He was less impressive in his next league outing in mid-February at Loftus Park, where his poor positioning gifted an equaliser to Queens Park Rangers striker - and Portugal's UEFA Euro 2016 hero - Éder. Otherwise, he was restricted to cup and European appearances in his first three months at Old Trafford.

 

While Galloway and his compatriots Jones, Shaw and Smalling were keeping United's defence shipshape, foreign megastars were stealing the plaudits further forward. By the middle of March, their big summer purchase Robert Lewandowski had already surpassed 30 goals for the season. Juan Mata was up to 19 goals, while attacking midfielder Bernardo Silva had also impressed greatly.

 

Unsurprisingly, the Red Devils stretched their Premier League lead further and were now firmly on track to wrap up the title in record time. However, there was one major disappointment from the perspective of some of their fans.

 

Marcus Rashford - now aged 21 - had still not kicked on to become a striking sensation on a par with Lewandowski. Mourinho hadn't given him many opportunities, to be fair, but his recent performances had still been underwhelming. Rashford had yet to score in eight league appearances this season, while 12 appearances in cup competitions had yielded a mere three goals and four assists.

 

Many pundits had called on Rashford to seek a loan move away from Old Trafford, so that he could prove that he was the real deal, and not just another ex-wonderkid who promised much yet delivered little. England manager Mark Catterall himself stated that the main reasoning behind his reluctance to promote the propitious Mancunian to his senior team was that he simply wasn't playing enough league football.

 

It was much to Catterall's disappointment that Rashford did not move in January. He wasn't the only English football star who stayed put when the logical next step seemed to be to find another club.

 

After two underwhelming seasons, Pep Guardiola's Manchester City project was coming together, to some extent. The Citizens were 2nd in the league and providing the only meaningful title challenge to United, whom they had beaten at Wembley to successfully defend the EFL Cup. Joe Hart, Michael Keane and John Stones remained integral parts of a watertight defence, further underlining their status as key players for the England national team.

 

Prior to Catterall's appointment as England manager, Raheem Sterling had been deemed as undroppable as Hart. He was the Three Lions' young winged wonder, who'd made waves for Liverpool before a £44million transfer to City in 2015. Sterling's first season at the Etihad Stadium had gone swimmingly, but it all went wrong for him after Guardiola arrived in Manchester the following summer.

 

Sterling's personal problems and controversies between 2016 and 2018 were well-documented, as was his inability to adapt to Guardiola's 'tiki-taka' style of football. When the then 23-year-old Londoner scored the winning goal against Arsenal on the first day of the 2018/2019 season, it seemed that he'd turned a corner.

 

Since that opening day, however, Sterling had done very little other than make a handful of cameo appearances. By the end of January, he'd still only played in seven matches all season. Like Rashford, though, Sterling didn't leave Manchester during the winter transfer window; indeed, he seemed perfectly happy to stay.

 

Aidy Ward - Sterling's long-time agent - was quoted as saying, "Raheem don't care that he ain't playing. He's making 80 grand a week after tax, just for sitting on the bench and doing f*** all... and that's fine with him.

 

"Raheem and his families will be set up for life because of his five-year contract at City. If City just decide to let the contract run out at the end of next season, then Raheem won't be desperate to find another club. As far as he's concerned, he's don't need to work again."

 

Those quotes may or may not have been entirely true, but they did nevertheless appear in an explosive news story published by the Daily Mirror early in February. Sterling was pictured on the front cover under the headline: "SPONGER STERLING: Fury as football superstar gloats at making £4m a year - for doing NOTHING!"

 

The Mirror's tabloid rivals The Sun didn't think much of Sterling either. His face was plastered across their front page under a headline that read: "EVERYTHING THAT'S WRONG WITH FOOTBALL". They also posted a list of mobile phone numbers that allegedly belonged to the player, his mother, or a selection of his present and former girlfriends.

 

Unsurprisingly, there was mass uproar at the publication of this list, which many people saw as The Sun subtly encouraging its readers to abuse Sterling and his family. The paper issued an apology the next day, saying, "The Sun accepts that there was a mistake in publishing the Raheem Sterling contacts list. Paige Milian's contact number was missing a 2 at the end. We humbly apologise to our readers for this oversight."

 

Money talked at the Etihad, and that was certainly true when City bought former England Under-21s midfielder Will Hughes for £8.75million from West Ham United. Hughes was getting regular football in the Championship and helping West Ham United climb back up towards the Premier League, but he abandoned that project to sign a lucrative £93,000-per-week contract with the Citizens. After two months, Hughes was still waiting to make his league debut for his new club, despite being free of injuries.

 

Worryingly for Catterall, more and more England players were shunning regular first-team football, simply because they could make a lot more money sitting on the sidelines at major clubs. In January, winger Theo Walcott accepted a pay cut from £140,000-per-week to £100,000 to stay at Arsenal, even though he hadn't played in the Premier League at all for Rafa Benítez's side this season.

 

Walcott's former Arsenal colleague Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain refused to budge from Liverpool, despite becoming a bit-part player under Roberto Mancini. Similarly, Daniel Sturridge was happy to serve as an occasional deputy for the Reds' top scorer Álvaro Morata rather than find another club, where his abilities could perhaps be put to better use.

 

Catterall was already somewhat short on depth as it was without more big-name players falling out of favour at their clubs. 'The Impossible Man' might have been a patient fellow, but his patience was steadily dissipating.

[CFuller]

Chapter 26 - Back To Work

 

"Hi, Gary. It's Mark Catterall. I've just phoned to ask how've you been lately?"

 

It was mid-March, and Mark Catterall was on the phone to Gary Cahill - the oldest member of the England squad. The CSKA Moscow central defender had not played for the Three Lions in their concluding UEFA Nations Cup matches in November, with the Football Association declining to explain why. They had also refuted claims from the Daily Mail that Cahill had exhibited "communist sympathies" over recent months.

 

Cahill replied, "I'm fine, gaffer, thanks. We're having a good season here at CSKA. We're in a four-way battle for the title with FC Krasnodar, Spartak Moscow and Zenit [St Petersburg], and it looks like it's gonna go right to the wire."

 

Catterall smiled, "That's great to hear, especially after... the episode."

 

"Yeah, of course. Will the other England lads be okay with me possibly coming back into the team?"

 

"I can't imagine there'll be too many complaints. I had a word with John Stones, and he certainly doesn't mind if you come back."

 

"Even after I almost snapped his hand off?"

 

"That's all forgiven. John's a tough Yorkshireman like yourself, but he has the forgiveness of a priest. You could rob him of his lunch money and he'd forget about it the next day."

 

Cahill then asked, "There ain't been anything in the papers back home about this, has there?"

 

"Nothing at all. Ava Leggett has done a wonderful job of keeping it hush-hush. There was this silly little article in the Mail, but you know what they're like. They would probably call me a communist if they found out that I drive a red Škoda."

 

Cahill laughed. Catterall then asked him, "Now let me ask you a question, and be honest with me. Are you 100% ready to come back to the England team?"

 

"Absolutely. I'm raring to go again."

 

"You do know the Euros will almost certainly be your last tournament, right? If we qualify, of course."

 

"I understand. My legs ain't as quick as what they used to be, but I'd like to think I can pass on my experience to the younger lads for the next, like, 15 months or so. That's how long there is until the Euros, ain't it?"

 

"Yeah, that's about right. And that's exactly why I still need you. I've got Keano [Michael Keane] and Stones down as England's centre-backs for the next four, six, eight years, but they still have a lot to learn on the tactical side of things. You've been there and done that. You know what it takes to win major competitions like the Premier League and the Champions League."

 

Cahill nodded, "I'm more than happy to help with that, gaffer. Anyway, I've always wanted to do a little bit of tutoring and coaching when I hang up my boots."

 

"You could always help Warren Joyce with that if you wanted. Joycey's a top coach, for sure, but it's not quite the same without Butch."

 

"Of course, it isn't. I'm sad I couldn't come to Ray's memorial service in December. Unfortunately, the missus was quite ill in hospital at the time, so I had to stay home and be with her. Thankfully, she's alright now."

 

"I didn't know about that, but I'm glad to hear she's doing fine."

 

"Thanks, gaffer."

 

Attention then turned to the upcoming 2020 UEFA European Championship qualifiers, which would take place throughout 2019. England were scheduled to start off against Gibraltar on 30 March, before visiting Austria three days later. That match in Vienna was likely to be the Three Lions' toughest test in a favourable qualifying group.

 

"I'm gonna be up front with you, Gary," Catterall said. "You're in the squad for the first two qualifiers. You probably won't play against Austria, though you will do against Gibraltar if you're still fit. I might even make you captain if I decide to rest Jordan [Henderson]."

 

"Yeah, I understand. I'll step up and be captain again if you want me to."

 

Catterall asked, "You honestly don't mind playing a team like Gibraltar, do you?"

 

"Gaffer, I'm proud to be English, and I'm always proud to represent my country. Whether we're playing Gibraltar or Germany, it don't matter to me."

 

Cahill then asked Catterall, "The Gibraltar game's at Wembley again, isn't it? I know there's been talk of the FA selling it. What's the latest on that?"

 

"I know as much as you do, Gary," Catterall sighed. "Let's try not to worry about it, alright? Concentrate on getting through these first two games, and let the FA decide whether to sell Wembley or not."

 

A few days later, Catterall announced his senior squad for the matches against Gibraltar and Austria. All but two of his players were in double figures for caps, but one established first-teamer did not make the cut.

 

ENGLAND squad - for matches vs Gibraltar (H) and Austria (A)

NAME                      POSITIONS           D.O.B. (AGE)     CLUB            CAPS  GOALS HEIGHT WEIGHT     VALUE
Jack Butland              GK                  10/03/1993 (26)  Stoke           9     0     6'5"   14st 13lbs £17M    
Fraser Forster            GK                  17/03/1988 (31)  Southampton     10    0     6'7"   15st 8lbs  £8.75M  
Joe Hart                  GK                  19/04/1987 (31)  Man City        88    0     6'5"   12st 10lbs £11.5M  
Calum Chambers            D (RC)              20/01/1995 (24)  Everton         6     0     6'0"   11st 6lbs  £11.5M  
Michael Keane             D (RC)              11/01/1993 (26)  Man City        21    0     6'1"   13st 3lbs  £31M    
John Stones               D (RC)              28/05/1994 (24)  Man City        32    1     6'2"   12st 1lb   £41M    
Eric Dier                 D (RC), DM, M (C)   15/01/1994 (25)  Tottenham       39    6     6'2"   13st 7lbs  £31M    
Gary Cahill               D (C)               19/12/1985 (33)  CSKA Moscow     63    3     6'4"   13st 7lbs  £1.3M   
Chris Smalling            D (C)               22/11/1989 (29)  Man Utd         38    1     6'4"   14st 2lbs  £21M    
Nathaniel Clyne           D/WB (R)            05/04/1991 (27)  Liverpool       34    0     5'9"   10st 7lbs  £12.75M 
Luke Shaw                 D/WB (L)            12/07/1995 (23)  Man Utd         28    1     6'1"   11st 11lbs £23.5M  
Danny Rose                D/WB/M (L)          02/07/1990 (28)  Tottenham       25    2     5'8"   11st 6lbs  £19.75M 
Jordan Henderson          DM, M (C)           17/06/1990 (28)  Liverpool       56    1     6'0"   10st 7lbs  £22.5M  
Danny Drinkwater          M (C)               05/03/1990 (29)  Leicester       22    0     5'10"  11st 0lbs  £13M    
Rolando Aarons            M/AM (RL)           16/11/1995 (23)  Newcastle       12    5     5'9"   10st 5lbs  £14.75M 
Demarai Gray              M/AM (RL)           28/06/1996 (22)  Leicester       17    3     5'10"  11st 13lbs £19.5M  
Nathan Redmond            M/AM (RL), ST (C)   06/03/1994 (25)  Southampton     12    3     5'8"   11st 6lbs  £23.5M  
Dele Alli                 M/AM (C)            11/04/1996 (22)  Tottenham       42    5     6'1"   12st 1lb   £32.5M  
Ross Barkley              M/AM (C)            05/12/1993 (25)  Everton         26    2     6'2"   11st 13lbs £15.5M  
Jack Wilshere             M/AM (C)            01/01/1992 (27)  Arsenal         57    9     5'9"   10st 3lbs  £24.5M  
Jamie Vardy               AM (C), ST (C)      11/01/1987 (32)  Leicester       18    6     5'10"  11st 11lbs £3.1M   
Harry Kane                ST (C)              28/07/1993 (25)  Tottenham       41    16    6'3"   13st 0lbs  £33.5M  
Callum Wilson             ST (C)              27/02/1992 (27)  Chelsea         24    5     5'11"  10st 7lbs  £32M    

 

There was a time when Kyle Walker would've been a dead cert to make the England squad, but that time had passed. Since Jaap Stam succeeded Mauricio Pochettino as manager of Tottenham Hotspur in December, Walker had lost his regular starting place at right-back to Italy international Mattia De Sciglio, who had arrived at New White Hart Lane from AC Milan that summer.

 

Walker was now simply a rotation option at Spurs, whose underachieving side were now facing a battle simply to stay in the top six, let alone contend for the Premier League title. He and James Ward-Prowse were both dropped by Mark Catterall, who now had 'only' four Tottenham men in his team.

 

Left-back Danny Rose was still in favour at Spurs under Stam, so he swiftly regained his England place at the expense of Southampton's Matthew Targett. The other player dropped from the Three Lions this time around was attacking midfielder Adam Lallana, whose fifth season at Liverpool was turning out to be his least productive.

 

A huge public outcry had followed England's back-to-back goalless draws in the UEFA Nations League in November. The Three Lions' failures were blamed partly on the absences of two key creators - Newcastle United's Rolando Aarons and Arsenal's Jack Wilshere, both of whom returned to the fold this time around. It certainly helped that Aarons and Wilshere had each rediscovered form after disappointing starts to their seasons.

 

There was also an arguably overdue England recall for Everton right-back Calum Chambers, who took Walker's place after continuing to produce steady performances with the Toffees. The former Arsenal defender had only won six senior caps thus far, which was astonishing considering that it'd been four-and-a-half years since his debut against Norway in 2014.

 

ENGLAND UNDER-21s squad - for matches vs Portugal (A) and Slovenia (A)

NAME                      POSITIONS           D.O.B. (AGE)     CLUB            CAPS  GOALS HEIGHT WEIGHT     VALUE
Harry Lewis               GK                  20/12/1997 (21)  Southampton     2     0     6'3"   12st 1lb   £625K   
Bailey Peacock-Farrell    GK                  29/10/1996 (22)  Leeds           5     0     6'2"   11st 13lbs £275K   
Freddie Woodman           GK                  04/03/1997 (22)  Birmingham      9     0     6'1"   10st 12lbs £1.8M   
Kyle Walker-Peters        D (RL)              13/04/1997 (21)  Tottenham       4     0     5'6"   9st 12lbs  £6M     
Mason Holgate             D (RC)              22/10/1996 (22)  Everton         19    3     5'11"  11st 13lbs £21M    
Joe Rankin-Costello       D (RC), M/AM (RLC)  26/07/1999 (19)  Swansea         3     0     5'10"  11st 2lbs  £8.25M  
Ben Chilwell              D (LC), WB (L)      21/12/1996 (22)  Leicester       19    0     5'10"  12st 1lb   £8.5M   
Brendan Galloway          D (LC), DM          17/03/1996 (23)  Man Utd         21    1     6'2"   14st 0lbs  £18.5M  
Reece Burke               D (C)               02/09/1996 (22)  West Ham        4     0     6'2"   12st 10lbs £6.25M  
Axel Tuanzebe             D (C)               14/11/1997 (21)  Stoke           7     1     6'0"   12st 6lbs  £6.75M  
Trent Alexander-Arnold    D/WB (R), DM        07/10/1998 (20)  Sheff Wed       6     0     5'6"   9st 8lbs   £1.8M   
Josh Tymon                D/M (L)             22/05/1999 (19)  West Ham        3     0     5'9"   10st 12lbs £8M     
Lewis Cook                DM, M (C)           03/02/1997 (22)  Bournemouth     9     0     5'9"   11st 2lbs  £7.5M   
Tom Davies                DM, M (C)           30/06/1998 (20)  Everton         10    3     5'10"  11st 0lbs  £5M     
Patrick Roberts           M (RL), AM (RLC)    05/02/1997 (22)  Leicester       19    5     5'6"   9st 1lb    £14M    
Reiss Nelson              M (L), AM (RL)      10/12/1999 (19)  Ipswich         4     1     5'10"  11st 4lbs  £6.75M  
Sheyi Ojo                 M (L), AM (RLC)     19/06/1997 (21)  Leeds           6     0     6'1"   9st 12lbs  £10.5M  
Ovie Ejaria               M (C), AM (LC)      18/11/1997 (21)  Norwich         1     0     6'0"   12st 3lbs  £1.8M   
Andre Dozzell             M/AM (C)            02/05/1999 (19)  MK Dons         0     0     6'0"   10st 9lbs  £850K   
Joshua Onomah             M/AM (C)            27/04/1997 (21)  Leeds           15    6     6'0"   12st 10lbs £6.75M  
Dominic Solanke           AM (RL), ST (C)     14/09/1997 (21)  Ipswich         5     0     6'2"   12st 10lbs £2.1M   
Marcus Rashford           AM (L), ST (C)      31/10/1997 (21)  Man Utd         23    26    5'11"  11st 9lbs  £29M    
Eddie Nketiah             ST (C)              30/05/1999 (19)  MK Dons         3     2     5'10"  11st 6lbs  £8.75M  

 

England's Under-21s team had suffered two devastating defensive blows in mid-January. West Ham United centre-half Joe Gomez damaged his cruciate ligaments for the second time in his career, less than 48 hours after left-back Cameron Borthwick-Jackson suffered a similar injury in Hull City's home draw with Blackburn Rovers. Both men were sadly and cruelly ruled out of contention for the upcoming European Under-21s Championship.

 

Gomez was replaced by his West Ham team-mate Reece Burke in an experimental England squad that would play two friendly matches in Portugal and Slovenia. Also receiving recalls were Sheffield Wednesday right-back Trent Alexander-Arnold and Ipswich Town striker Dominic Solanke. Leicester City midfielder Andre Dozzell got his first Under-21s call-up after impressing on loan at Milton Keynes Dons.

 

Captain Tammy Abraham was the biggest name to be dropped from this England team, even though he'd scored in two of Reading's last three Premier League matches. Catterall insisted that he was simply giving Solanke another chance with the Under-21s, and that Abraham's place at the European Championship was not in jeopardy.

 

West Bromwich Albion midfielder Sam Field was dropped in favour of Dozzell, while Huddersfield Town defender Ezri Konsa was ruled out with a hernia.

 

ENGLAND UNDER-19s squad - for European Under-19s Championship Elite Round

GOALKEEPERS: Steve Hilton (Liverpool), Josh Vokes (Tottenham)

DEFENDERS: Paul Brown (Southampton), Ted Lapslie (Arsenal), Joel Latibeaudiere (Motherwell), Alistair Rattray (Peterborough), Ryan Sessegnon (Sheff Wed), Peter Turner (Chelsea), Joe Wright (Rotherham)

MIDFIELDERS: Neil Campbell (Wolves), Alfie Davidson (Leicester), John Harrison (Liverpool), Aaron Morley (Hibernian), Seidu Opare (Tottenham), Stuart White (Burton)

FORWARDS: Reece Nicholls (Chelsea), Glenn Sheppard (Peterborough), Lawrence Warner (Leeds)

 

With three tricky matches against Switzerland, Sweden and Turkey lying in wait in the European Championship Elite Round, England's Under-19s were delighted to welcome back star strikers Reece Nicholls and Lawrence Warner from injury. Warner had been especially impressive for Leeds United since joining the Championship high-flyers on loan from Liverpool.

 

Several players who'd featured in the comfortable home wins over Germany and Albania in November were ruthlessly axed as the squad was cut back down to 18. The only newcomer in this squad was Southampton right-back Paul Brown, who'd made his Premier League debut at Manchester City in January.

[CFuller]

***

 

Back in March 2018, Mark Catterall took England's senior and Under-21s squads to Switzerland for a week-long training camp. The main England team were fine-tuning their preparations for that summer's FIFA World Cup, during which they would beat their Swiss counterparts for the second time in three-and-a-half months en route to the Semi Finals.

 

12 months later, it was the Under-19s' turn to pay a visit to Switzerland. Head coach Ledley King and his team arrived in Luzern for the start of the European Championship Elite Round. The Young Lions would play three matches over the next nine days in a group that also included Sweden and Turkey, and they needed to finish top if they were to qualify for July's finals tournament in Armenia.

 

With Catterall watching on from back home in Staffordshire, England took the game to their Swiss hosts. A third-minute pot-shot from winger John Harrison was picked up by home goalkeeper Stéphane Raynal, who would later win a one-on-one with striker Lawrence Warner in the 10th minute. Centre-back Joel Latibeaudiere also spurned an opportunity for England between those saves, nodding Harrison's 8th-minute corner over the bar.

 

Switzerland's first meaningful attack, after 13 minutes, saw midfielder Vasco Tosato blast wide a hopeful shot from 30 yards out. Left-winger Peter Bruggisser then attempted to beat Young Lions goalkeeper Steve Hilton from distance via a direct free-kick in the 25th minute. Hilton was having none of that and caught the ball with ease.

 

Five minutes before that Bruggisser attempt, England had wasted their best opportunity to break the deadlock in the first period. Warner's through-ball to strike partner Glenn Sheppard was inexplicably pulled wide by Peterborough United's on-loan Chelsea forward, who'd only needed to beat Raynal for the opener.

 

England next threatened Raynal's goal in the 31st minute. They counter-attacked from a tame corner by Ott, with Warner taking the ball into their penalty area before squaring it to his Liverpool club-mate Harrison. The Londoner's shot almost squirmed between Raynal and his near post, but the goalie just about palmed it behind.

 

The Young Lions looked slightly the better team in the first period, despite having captain Peter Turner booked just before half-time. They were disappointed to go into the break with the deadlock still intact, but King hoped to change that with a couple of substitutions. Neil Campbell - a regular starter in Wolverhampton Wanderers' midfield at just 17 - came on for Alfie Davidson, while Sheppard was replaced up front with his Chelsea team-mate Reece Nicholls.

 

The latter substitution would prove key just five minutes after the restart. Midfield playmaker Aaron Morley lobbed the ball over the Swiss defence and picked out Warner, who burst clear before drilling in a low cross that Nicholls tucked away. The Young Lions had finally broken through, and they never looked back from that point onward.

 

Nicholls blazed wide a great chance to double England's lead in the 55th minute after breaching Switzerland's offside trap. Despite that, his strike partnership with Warner would pay dividends again just three minutes later. In a mirror image of the first goal, Nicholls ran onto an excellent long ball from left-winger Seidu Opare and whipped it across the hosts' penalty box. Liverpool frontman Warner, who'd scored four goals in his first ten matches on loan at Leeds United, did the rest.

 

After saving another promising strike from Warner in the 65th minute, Raynal would be beaten for a third time two minutes later. Nicholls searched out Opare out wide, and the Tottenham Hotspur wingman then teed up Morley for a left-footed volley that easily beat the Servette keeper.

 

Though Switzerland were 3-0 down, they would claim a consolation prize in the 69th minute. Under pressure from Switzerland's attacking midfielder Marvin Lukunku, England defender Alistair Rattray was forced to nod behind a cross from Tosato and concede a corner. Swiss-American right-winger Raffael Ott whipped said corner to striker Muamer Pargan, who cushioned the ball on for FC Thun defender Sven Bickel to thunder it home.

 

For a while after that goal, it looked like England's defenders would buckle and lose their lead completely. Campbell joined Turner in the book in the 71st minute for a trip on Pargan. King immediately ordered his charges to concentrate, and that seemed to have an effect, as the Young Lions knuckled down to clinch victory.

 

Switzerland's inability to clear a Campbell corner would cost them greatly in the 84th minute. Opare intercepted Ott's clearance and nodded it to Morley, whose vicious volley was deflected into the net off Lukunku.

 

A comfortable 4-1 win sent England straight to the top of Group 2. Just behind them were their next opponents Sweden, who'd gone 2-1 down in a gruelling encounter with Turkey before prevailing 3-2. The Scandinavians would now travel to Blackburn, where a home victory would put England on the brink of qualification.

 

25 March 2019: UEFA European Under-19s Championship Elite Group 2 - at swissporarena, Luzern

Switzerland U19s - 1 (Sven Bickel 69)

England U19s - 4 (Reece Nicholls 50, Lawrence Warner 58, Aaron Morley 67, Marvin Lukunku og84)

ENGLAND U19s LINE-UP (4-2-3-1): Steve Hilton; Peter Turner, Joe Wright (Alistair Rattray), Joel Latibeaudiere, Ted Lapslie; Aaron Morley, Alfie Davidson (Neil Campbell); John Harrison, Glenn Sheppard (Reece Nicholls), Seidu Opare; Lawrence Warner. BOOKED: Turner 45, Campbell 71.

[CFuller]

***

 

The 2017 UEFA European Under-21s Championship Final had not been England's finest hour. They were thoroughly outplayed in Rzeszów by a far superior Portugal team, losing 3-0 and throwing away what had been their best opportunity to claim continental glory in years.

 

21 months had passed since that last encounter, and now the two foes were doing battle again. This time, the central Portuguese city of Covilhã was the setting for a friendly international, in which the Esperanças and the Young Lions would begin in earnest their preparations for the next European Championship.

 

England had automatically qualified for this summer's finals in Italy, whereas Portugal had needed to negotiate a play-off to avoid the embarrassment of surrendering their title without a proper defence. Nevertheless, Rui Jorge's charges would be firm favourites to beat their English counterparts once again.

 

England's front two of Marcus Rashford and Dominic Solanke both disappointed with their initial shots at goal. Rashford screwed wide a strike from the edge of the area in the third minute, ten minutes before his set-up for Solanke had the same outcome.

 

Rashford had another opportunity in the 18th minute after latching onto an excellent pass from England right-back Kyle Walker-Peters. However, the Manchester United star was caught in two minds as to whether to go for goal himself or tee up his team-mate Ovie Ejaria. Instead, Rashford played a half-hearted attempt to do both, allowing Portuguese defender Rúben Dias to make an easy interception.

 

The Young Lions' defence first came under pressure in the 26th minute. Leeds United's Ronaldo Vieira picked up the ball from his Portuguese midfield colleague Rui Pires and then dribbled past Joshua Onomah before going for goal. That was when England left-back Josh Tymon intervened to deflect Vieira's shot behind for a corner.

 

Tymon was having a good game for the visitors, but Portugal's right-back Diogo Dalot was arguably faring even better. After 29 minutes, the Valencia defender's cross found Middlesbrough striker Rui Pedro on the corner of England's six-yard box. Had Rui Pedro - who, like Dalot, was on loan from Porto - not horribly miscued his shot, Portugal would surely have gone 1-0 up.

 

England continued to live dangerously late in the first half, and new Manchester United defender Brendan Galloway was lucky to receive only a booking for a rash challenge on Rui Pedro in the 34th minute. That said, the Young Lions had at least bettered themselves from two years earlier by not conceding any goals to Portugal in the first half.

 

Both teams shook up their tactics for the second half, which began with Portugal left-back Mamadou Koné firing a shot off target. England's substitute playmaker Patrick Roberts went closer to breaking the deadlock after 50 minutes, when his shot from Rashford's lobbed through-ball was blocked by goalkeeper Pedro Silva.

 

The Young Lions went forward again on 54 minutes, when Rashford played the ball past Dias and ahead of Ejaria. The Liverpool midfielder - on loan at Norwich City - shot from a tight angle but was denied his first England Under-21s goal by Silva's fingertips.

 

Another Liverpool starlet went for goal ten minutes later, but there was to be no luck for Sheyi Ojo, either. After England striker Eddie Nketiah was blocked just inside the Esperanças' penalty area by Dias, Leeds loanee Ojo ran onto the loose ball and tried to squirm it past Silva. The Sporting CP goalie had other ideas.

 

With neither team in particularly impressive form, a goalless draw looked the most likely result. Then, after 76 minutes, a moment of huge misfortune for Reece Burke and England proved fateful.

 

West Ham United defender Burke did brilliantly to close Portugal midfielder Bruno Paz down deep in the English half. Unfortunately for Burke, his clearance ricocheted off Paz's leg and bounced into the penalty area, where Lens striker Joao Santos stole an opening goal that the Esperanças had perhaps not fully deserved.

 

England could not bounce back after that cruel blow. Nketiah hit the side netting in the 78th minute with what proved to be their only equalising opportunity. In general, the Young Lions' attacking players found Portugal's defenders - Dias and Dalot especially - to be just too strong to break down.

 

England had lost a match at Under-21s level for the first time since October 2017, and for only the second time since the last European Championship Final. Head coach David Byrne had to hope that this was simply a blip, and not a sign of further struggles to come before - and during - this summer's Euros.

 

28 March 2019: Under-21s International - at Complexo Desportivo da Covilhã, Covilhã

Portugal U21s - 1 (Joao Santos 76)

England U21s - 0

ENGLAND U21s LINE-UP (4-3-1-2): Freddie Woodman (Bailey Peacock-Farrell); Kyle Walker-Peters (Trent Alexander-Arnold), Mason Holgate (Axel Tuanzebe), Brendan Galloway (Reece Burke), Josh Tymon (Ben Chilwell); Lewis Cook (Joe Rankin-Costello), Tom Davies (Andre Dozzell), Joshua Onomah (Eddie Nketiah); Ovie Ejaria (Sheyi Ojo); Marcus Rashford (Reiss Nelson), Dominic Solanke (Patrick Roberts). BOOKED: Galloway 34.

[CFuller]

***

 

Friday 29 March 2019. England's senior team were ramping up the effort in training at St George's Park on the eve of their opening UEFA Euro 2020 qualifier at home to Gibraltar.

 

The Three Lions' build-up to that match had been beset by a couple of injuries. Inside-forward Rolando Aarons had pulled his hamstring in Newcastle United's home Premier League draw against Manchester United, forcing him to withdraw for the squad. Taking his place was Jesse Lingard, who was flying high in La Liga with Celta Vigo but had not yet replicated his club form at international level.

 

A more significant blow to England's hopes came on this Friday morning, when Manchester City centre-back Michael Keane bruised his shin in training. Manager Mark Catterall could perhaps have called up Manchester United's Phil Jones, but he instead opted to promote another Red Devil from the Under-21s.

 

Uncapped 23-year-old Brendan Galloway had just arrived in Slovenia with England's Under-21s team when he received one of the most important phone calls of his career. Catterall had ordered him to return home as quickly as he could... and report for senior duty.

 

When it came to home matches, Catterall's teams usually stayed at St George's Park for preparation, only travelling to the venue on the day of the match itself. This time, Catts would break with tradition.

 

On Friday afternoon, the England team travelled to the Berkshire village of Bisham, where they would stay the night. They would then make their final plans at their old training ground on Bisham Abbey on Saturday morning before travelling to Wembley for the big match that afternoon.

 

Part of Catterall's reasoning behind taking the team south earlier than usual was that he wanted his players to be out of the public spotlight and fully focussed on beating Gibraltar. In addition, Football Association chairman Clark Gregory had summoned him to a meeting at Wembley, though he didn't disclose what the meeting was about.

 

Catterall arrived at the boardroom just before 4:00pm. It was there that Gregory invited him in and then introduced him to Saoud Hussein - a Qatari businessman who was also the owner of Southend United. Hussein was a suave gentleman in his mid-40s, though his short, jet-black hair and neatly-trimmed beard made him look rather younger.

 

"Mr Catterall, it's a pleasure to meet you," Hussein smiled. His accent was a peculiar mix of Middle Eastern and Midwestern American.

 

"I've been wondering when we'd get to meet," Catterall added. "I'm very interested to hear in your proposal."

 

Catterall, Hussein and Gregory all sat down, with Gregory beginning the discussion. "Now, Mark, as I'm sure you know, Saoud here has made a proposal to buy Wembley Stadium. We've been in negotiations for a couple of months now, and we've almost come to an agreement."

 

"So why have I been invited here?"

 

"As England manager, I'm sure you'd like to know more about what's going on. That's why I've invited you to have a discussion with Saoud, and then have your thoughts on the sale."

 

"That sounds fine," Catterall nodded. He then asked Hussein, "So, Saoud... can I call you that?"

 

"Yes, please. Everybody calls me Saoud. Mr Hussein is my father; may Allah rest his soul."

 

"Okay... so what brings you to Wembley, Saoud?"

 

"I have loved sport all my life, especially football. I have always been engrossed about football in England and have always wanted to be involved in it in some way. Investing in Southend United is just the start of the great plans I have in this country."

 

"That's interesting. And can I hear a slight American accent in your voice?"

 

"Ah, yes. When I was 18, so about 25 years ago, my father sent me off to a business school in Chicago. That was where I started my career, originally selling sporting goods across Illinois. I returned to Qatar in 2000, when my father passed on and I inherited his investment company."

 

"How much is that worth now?"

 

"The company was originally valued at £6billion, but that has more than doubled over the last 18 years to about £15billion."

 

Gregory interjected, "So, as you can gather, Saoud certainly has plenty of business acumen. In fact, he is the third-richest man in Qatar, and that is saying something."

 

Hussein let out a rather embarrassed smile before Catterall asked him, "So... why buy Wembley?"

 

"I think me buying Wembley would be a great deal for all parties. For one thing, the FA receives... let's say £800million... to invest in grass roots football programmes."

 

"That's a significant amount of money, Mark," Gregory said. "Look at how much money France, Germany and Spain have invested into their football infrastructures over the last two to three decades. Look at the success they've had. That's money we badly need if we are to compete with them in the long run."

 

Hussein added, "And with so many world-class football venues in the country, it's not as if the FA needs to keep hold of Wembley Stadium, is it?"

 

Catterall nodded, "When you put it like that, I can see where you're coming from. Yes, Wembley has its history, but I've never understood the need to play all our home games in one place when you've got Old Trafford, the Etihad, the Emirates, Villa Park..."

 

Gregory stated, "The FA should never have rebuilt Wembley in the first place... certainly not in London, anyway. When you think of places like Twickenham, Lord's, Wimbledon and the Alexandra Palace, you have to admit that London has too many iconic sporting venues. It's like if the Americans had all their major sports arenas in New York."

 

"I agree. Some of those sports, especially rugby union, are very London-centric, but England's most passionate football fans are in the north and in the Midlands. A lot of those fans are being priced out with England playing at Wembley all the time. A national stadium in a city like Birmingham would've been more ideal and accessible for the general public."

 

"Personally, I'd have built it in Sheffield - the spiritual home of organised association football," Gregory said. "Of course, that's not too far from where I grew up, but that's neither here nor there."

 

Hussein then said, "So that's where I come in. I buy Wembley off your hands, England can play matches wherever they like, and the FA will have enough money to transform its infrastructure."

 

"Hold on," Catterall paused. "What about cup Finals? And play-off Finals?"

 

Without a moment's hesitation, Gregory replied, "We'll take them to Old Trafford."

 

"And what's it in for you, Saoud, if you buy Wembley?"

 

Hussein explained, "Wembley Stadium is an iconic venue, so obviously, I'm not going to destroy it. What I am going to do is turn it into a venue for more modern sports and activities, like demolition derbies."

 

Catterall looked bewildered, "Demolition derby? With monster trucks, you mean? Weren't that big in, like, the 1980s?"

 

"It was still very popular when I was in Chicago. Even today, there are thousands and thousands of people who love to watch carnage and destruction, especially if there are celebrities involved. I've already persuaded Formula 1 champions Lewis Hamilton and Nico Rosberg to try this sport out at Wembley if the sale goes through."

 

"Surely you can't just turn a massive stadium like Wembley into a venue for one niche motorsport, though?"

 

"That's not all I've got in mind, Mark. Like I said, my plan is to make Wembley a venue that hosts multiple sports and events throughout the year. I'm talking about boxing fights, e-Sports, conventions for video games and comics..."

 

"And music concerts?"

 

"Of course. They won't be going away."

 

"Wow. With all due respect, wouldn't you be getting in over your head?"

 

Gregory stated, "If Saoud owns Wembley, Mark, then he can do whatever he bloody likes with it as far as I'm concerned!"

 

Hussein then asked, "So, Mark... what are your thoughts?"

 

Catterall paused, and then shrugged, "I don't have any objections to it. Besides, I'm only the England manager, so it's not my business whether the FA sell Wembley to you. I just wanted to know a bit more about what was happening."

 

"That's a very democratic answer, Mark," Gregory nodded. He then turned to Hussein and smiled, "So the big man approves. How would you feel about watching his team destroy Gibraltar tomorrow, Saoud?"

 

"I would love to watch an England game in person. Thank you for the invitation, Clark."

 

"My pleasure, Saoud. We can talk more about the sale after the game, and maybe even get the deal sorted."

 

"I'd love that."

[Drogba11CFC]

That's non-league finals day ruined then.

[CFuller]

Just now, Drogba11CFC said:

That's non-league finals day ruined then.

At least the Northern League clubs won't have to travel that far for the FA Vase Final. 

[CFuller]

***

 

England had taken one significant step towards qualification for the European Under-19s Championship by easily beating Switzerland in their first Elite Round group match. Another triumph at Blackburn Rovers' Ewood Park against Sweden would leave the Young Lions in a great position to reach the summer's finals in Armenia. Indeed, they would book their spot there if they won, and Turkey failed to do likewise against Switzerland.

 

England were without two players for this match, as right-back Peter Turner and playmaker Neil Campbell served suspensions. That meant Peterborough United's on-loan Southampton centre-half Alistair Rattray took the captaincy in place of regular skipper Turner.

 

Manchester United's highly-rated attacking midfielder Stuart White had not been fit enough to play for England against the Swiss. Though White was back in the starting line-up for the Blågult's visit to Lancashire, the Young Lions could not get off to a quick start.

 

A couple of poor early shots from Aaron Morley and Joe Wright suggested that the hosts were perhaps nervous. A more substantial concern arose in the 10th minute. Sheffield Wednesday left-back Ryan Sessegnon was strongly tackled by Swedish winger Bilal Smajic and hurt his wrist in the subsequent fall. Though he was left in some agony, Sessegnon played on.

 

England took the game to Sweden after the opening 15 minutes but had limited success on the attacking front to begin with. Seidu Opare's header from a hanging-ball corner by White in the 22nd minute looped wide, though striker Lawrence Warner did have a shot saved by Johan Nygren a minute later.

 

The Young Lions would finally break through on the half-hour mark. Making his international debut, Southampton right-back Paul Brown swung a deep cross into the box and found Warner, whose vicious strike stung Nygren's palms. White then thrashed in the rebound to dirty the Swedish goalkeeper's clean sheet.

 

White would sweep the Swedes away again ten minutes later. He evaded Blågult centre-half Christoffer Wiklund to latch onto a pinpoint through-ball from Warner, which he slotted past the rushing Nygren. That made it two goals for White, and 2-0 to England.

 

England's star man would also play a significant role in the Young Lions taking a 3-0 lead just before half-time. His outswinging corner was poorly intercepted by Sweden midfielder Pelle Antonsson, whose headed clearance was nodded in at Nygren's left-hand post by Rattray.

 

Head coach Ledley King was perhaps not delighted that their team seemed to ease off after a one-sided opening half. The second period wasn't even five minutes old when Smajic skipped past England left-back Ted Lapslie and set up Sweden's first real chance to get on the scoresheet. Much to King's relief, Smajic's cross was blazed high and wide by striker Staffan Larsson.

 

Though they weren't showing a great deal of urgency, England made the occasional attacking endeavour in the second half. One promising move in the 68th minute saw Sessegnon find Warner with an excellent left-wing cross that the Leeds United striker volleyed goalwards. Only a brave block from Nygren kept the Young Lions from going 4-0 up.

 

England then slowed their play down further as they turned their attentions to the final group fixture against Turkey. They could've been punished in the 81st minute, but goalkeeper Steve Hilton produced his only save of the match from a header by Sweden centre-back Robin Thelin.

 

The Young Lions had recorded another three-goal victory and remained top of Group 2... but their qualification for the European Championship was not yet secured. Turkey had kept alive their hopes by beating Switzerland 1-0, thanks to a 75th-minute penalty from Watford striker Turgay Taşdelen.

 

That meant England's trip to Antalya four days later would decide who booked their tickets to Armenia. A draw would send the Young Lions through regardless, but a home win for Turkey would earn them qualification on head-to-head... unless Sweden could beat Switzerland and join the pair on six points. It would then come down to whichever of the top three had the best records in matches between themselves.

 

29 March 2019: UEFA European Under-19s Championship Elite Group 2 - at Ewood Park, Blackburn

England U19s - 3 (Stuart White 30,40, Alistair Rattray 45)

Sweden U19s - 0

ENGLAND U19s LINE-UP (4-2-3-1): Steve Hilton; Paul Brown, Joe Wright (Joel Latibeaudiere), Alistair Rattray, Ryan Sessegnon; Glenn Sheppard, Aaron Morley (Alfie Davidson); John Harrison, Stuart White, Seidu Opare (Ted Lapslie); Lawrence Warner. BOOKED: Wright 32, Rattray 71, Harrison 81.

[Drogba11CFC]

By the way, please could you give me a tip on how to post a league table?

[CFuller]

9 hours ago, Drogba11CFC said:

By the way, please could you give me a tip on how to post a league table?

I'll be sending you a PM shortly. 

[CFuller]

***

 

The 2020 UEFA European Championship qualifiers were about to start. England's road to European glory began on home soil, at the same ground where they hoped to finish their journey - Wembley Stadium, which would stage the Semi Finals and the Finals of the main tournament.

 

England's first Euro 2020 qualifier would also be their first meeting with Gibraltar - the likely whipping boys of Group E. Catterall named a strong starting XI that featured the likes of captain Jordan Henderson and vice-skipper Joe Hart, with Everton right-back Calum Chambers collecting just his seventh cap. Eric Dier missed out through suspension.

 

On the bench was Brendan Galloway, who had been in Slovenia with the Under-21s team barely 24 hours earlier. The young Manchester United centre-back was recalled to England and called up to the senior team following an injury to Michael Keane. This would be Galloway's first experience of playing international football at the highest level.

 

In truth, Catterall could have named a team full of League Two journeymen whilst still expecting to beat Gibraltar handsomely. The Llanitos were ranked 191st in the world and had won just one competitive fixture since being accepted into UEFA in 2013. Their squad consisted almost entirely of home-based players, with a couple of British-based semi-professionals here and there. Head coach Brian Grant was an unheard-of 60-year-old Scotsman whose only previous managerial job had been with Highland League club Strathspey Thistle.

 

The gulf in class between the world-class superstars and the part-timers was evident from the outset. Dele Alli drove a shot just over Gibraltar's crossbar in the opening minute to send out the message that England meant business.

 

The Three Lions launched another early attack just as the match ticked into its second minute. Chambers' right-wing cross found the head of striker Callum Wilson, who was unlucky to divert the ball against the crossbar. However, Wilson then benefitted from some good fortune, as Gibraltar defender Kenneth Chipolina's clearance deflected into the net off the Chelsea frontman's thigh!

 

The Llanitos' defending again looked suspect in the third minute. England left-back Luke Shaw raced past Gibraltarian right-back Jean-Carlos Garcia and floated in a cross that his counterpart Jayce Olivero could only clear as far as Ross Barkley. The Everton midfielder took full advantage to volley in only his third goal for England - his first since 2015.

 

Those early goals helped to liven up a generally poor atmosphere at Wembley. Many fans had expressed their displeasure at the mooted sale of the stadium to Saoud Hussein. They held up banners protesting against the sale and booed Hussein whenever the Qatari businessman appeared on one of the big screens, sitting in the VIP area.

 

Catterall's men were already coasting to victory, and Gibraltar couldn't get back in contention with a ninth-minute strike from teenage striker Tjay De Barr that sailed well wide. The visitors' goalkeeper Dayle Coleing, who played for Liversedge in the ninth tier of English football, then saved attempts from Tottenham Hotspur duo Harry Kane and Alli to keep the scoreline respectable... for a while.

 

The luckless Gibraltarians must've thought that everything was against them when Kane increased England's lead further after 16 minutes. Another excellent Chambers cross found Kane, who needed two attempts to score after his first had been headed against the crossbar.

 

Kane came close to getting on the scoreboard for a second time in the 19th minute, but it was his strike partner who wrapped up a brace three minutes later. Wilson ran through a channel to collect a through-ball from Barkley and convert a first-time left-footed shot. That was the best of England's four goals thus far... and it would not be their last.

 

Barkley set up another excellent goal for Wilson in the 27th minute. The Scouse playmaker's direct ball found Wilson between Garcia and 18-year-old Gibraltar centre-half Joel Griffiths, and the striker finished the move off for his maiden England hat-trick. The Three Lions were 5-0 up, and still nowhere near finished!

 

Barkley grazed the top of the bar with a direct free-kick in the 29th minute after Chipolina had upended Kane. Chipolina would later make a couple of fine interceptions to stem the bleeding, but a terrible one from Shaw's cross in the 38th minute gifted Wilson another easy finish. That made it four goals for the Chelsea man, and six for England!

 

The Three Lions could've finished the half with a sensational seventh goal just before the interval, as Leicester City midfielder Danny Drinkwater rattled the crossbar from 25 yards out. Drinkwater's wait for a first international goal continued, but Gibraltar's agony didn't look like ending any time soon.

 

With the contest all but over, Catterall decided to shake his team up and rest a couple of key players. Captain Jordan Henderson was replaced with winger Nathan Redmond, while Shaw made way for newcomer Galloway.

 

England started the second half even quicker than they had the first, though they had Gibraltar to thank for that. In the opening minute, Griffiths intercepted and then tried to clear a killer ball from Barkley, only to strike his team-mate Dean Torrilla in the back and watch the ball ricochet back into his team's half. Wilson then surged forward to bury England's seventh goal of a match that now felt more like a training exercise to them!

 

Wilson's five goals had doubled his international tally within about an hour. He became the fifth player to bag a quintet of goals for England in a senior international, with Malcolm Macdonald having been the last to do so against Cyprus in 1975. Just one more strike would put Wilson out on his own.

 

The striker's bid to make history would have to wait a while. Before then, though, veteran defender Gary Cahill headed a Drinkwater free-kick just over the crossbar in the 61st minute. England's lead remained at 'merely' seven goals, though they would increase it further just three minutes later.

 

It looked like Redmond had a decent chance to get a goal when he dribbled into Gibraltar's penalty area in the 64th minute. However, after being pressurised by Chipolina, Redmond laid the ball off to Wilson, whose composed strike left Coleing flat-footed as it found the far corner. The 27-year-old from Coventry had become the first England international ever to score a double hat-trick in a match!

 

Wilson got a couple more minutes of gametime before he was subbed off to a standing ovation at Wembley. He drank in the fans' adulation as he made way for Leicester's Jamie Vardy, who hoped to push England towards double figures.

 

As it transpired, the hosts' lead would remain at 8-0. Coleing caught a Redmond free-kick in the 73rd minute, while Vardy's only effort a minute later was deflected behind off Gibraltar's midfield substitute Paul Lakhlia, who was making his international debut at the ripe old age of 16.

 

Manchester United defender Chris Smalling had scored just once in his England career, and a header in the 82nd minute went within inches of getting him another goal. Barkley missed one final chance for the Three Lions four minutes later before Gibraltar were put out of their misery.

 

It went without saying that England went straight to the top of Group E with this result. Their local rivals had mixed results in their opening home fixtures. Wales were held to a goalless draw by Austria, but Northern Ireland recovered from conceding very early on to beat Moldova 3-1. And yes, Will Grigg had indeed been on fire, scoring twice.

 

England's next fixture three days later would see them travel to Vienna for what was likely to be their toughest fixture of the qualifying campaign. If Catterall's team could defeat Austria at the Ernst-Happel-Stadion for the second time this season, they would surely be the hottest of favourites to qualify for Euro 2020 as Group E winners.

 

30 March 2019: UEFA European Championship Qualifying Group E - at Wembley, London

England - 8 (Callum Wilson 2,22,27,38,46,64, Ross Barkley 3, Harry Kane 16)

Gibraltar - 0

ENGLAND LINE-UP (4-3-1-2): Joe Hart; Calum Chambers, Chris Smalling, Gary Cahill, Luke Shaw (Brendan Galloway); Dele Alli, Jordan Henderson (Nathan Redmond), Danny Drinkwater; Ross Barkley; Harry Kane, Callum Wilson (Jamie Vardy).

 

After the match, there was one obvious question ITV's Gabriel Clarke had to ask first.

 

"Mark, it's a fantastic if unsurprising start to the European qualifiers. Could I have your immediate thoughts on Callum Wilson's record-breaking six goals?"

 

Catterall smiled, "Callum was clinical tonight. If you score six goals in any match, whether it be against the world champions or the worst team in the world, it's still a great achievement. I'm very pleased for Callum, as his record with England hasn't been great up until now. We must hope that this is the start of bigger and better things for him."

 

"After such a one-sided contest, is there anything you can take away to Vienna?"

 

"There's not much you can take from this match, to be honest. If anything, it's that we can wreak an awful lot of damage to our opponents if we hit the front quickly and early. Also, I thought Brendan Galloway acquitted himself very well after coming on for his senior debut. It's probably too early to think about starting Brendan, but given time, I reckon he'll be ready to hold down a regular place in this team."

 

Clark then asked, "Lastly, Mark, any thoughts on the potential sale of Wembley Stadium to Saoud Hussein?"

 

"I spoke with Saoud yesterday about his plans for Wembley and he came across very well. To tell you the truth, I can see both sides of the coin. I can understand the benefits of selling Wembley, but at the same time, this ground is sacred turf for many football fans in England and around the world. I think the FA need to think long and hard about this, and only agree a sale if it's completely in the best interests of the English game."

[CFuller]

***

 

"8-0! Your team was magnificent!"

 

Saoud Hussein was all smiles as he shook hands with Football Association chairman Clark Gregory in Wembley's VIP box. Gregory played down the Qatari billionaire's compliment, saying, "We were only playing a diddy team. In fact, Ken Dodd and his Diddy Men could have given us a tougher game than those amateurs from Gibraltar!"

 

"I don't know who Ken Dodd is."

 

"Then I must enlighten you a bit more on British culture sometime. I would suggest you talk to our vice-chair Connie Millstone as well, but she seems to think it's still 1997 and the Spice Girls are still relevant."

 

Hussein smiled, "Considering that I own an English club, I should learn a bit more about the English people and their culture. I'm ashamed to admit that all I know about Southend beside the football team is that it's a seaside resort and that a lot of the people who live there are orange."

 

"Yeah, they're all blonde hair and fake tan over there. Well, not all of them. Take Rachel Riley, for instance. She's blonde, yes, but she's beautiful, intelligent and multi-talented... and she's from Southend. Naturally, she also supports Manchester United, but nobody's perfect."

 

Hussein smiled, "This Rachel Riley sounds intriguing, but I don't think my wives will appreciate me becoming interested in another woman!"

 

Gregory nodded, "Fair enough. Now, about this deal..."

 

"I'm very happy to sign the deal first thing tomorrow if you want."

 

"You're eager to get this done, aren't you? Well, I hope you'll appreciate that we need to consider your proposal thoroughly. There are still some sceptics on the FA board, but they'll probably be dead soon. A strong breeze might see to that."

 

"That is fine, Clark. Take as much time as you need, but also bear in mind that my patience is not infinite."

 

"Thank you, Saoud. We'll meet again soon."

 

Hussein and Gregory then parted ways, with the latter heading into the car park. He spotted that the England team bus was still parked outside, with the door open and most of the players and staff sitting inside.

 

A bemused Gregory hopped onto the coach and asked, "What's with the hold-up, lads?"

 

Midfielder Dele Alli tiredly replied, "It's the gaffer, ain't it?"

 

Assistant manager Michael Burke added, "Catts went to the toilets about five minutes ago, when we were just boarding the coach. He ain't come back yet."

 

Technical coach David Platt dryly suggested, "I think he's got a few personal problems... in the plumbing department, if you know what I mean."

 

Gregory pulled a face in disgust and growled, "Thanks, Platt. Thanks for putting that f***ing image in our minds."

 

Burke then unbuckled his seat and said, "Y'know, this is getting ridiculous now. I'd better check up on him."

 

Burke disembarked from the coach and spent the next few minutes scouring the Wembley toilets for Catterall. He eventually heard the England boss in a cubicle swearing, "F*** IT!"

 

"Catts?" Burke asked. "You alright, mate?"

 

Catterall unlocked the door and came out of the cubicle clutching his mobile phone in his left hand. He replied unconvincingly, "Yeah, Mick, everything's golden."

 

"You don't sound golden to me."

 

Catterall then called a number in his contacts, only to be greeted with the message, "The person you are calling is unavailable right now. Please try again later."

 

Catterall cursed again, "F***ING HELL! Why won't you take my calls?"

 

Burke approached Catterall and asked, "What's going on here?"

 

"I'm trying to call Kat and Ashley, but neither of them will take my calls. They've been blanking me ever since we had a huge falling-out in December."

 

"What happened?"

 

"You know when I said no England team would travel to Russia on my watch? Well, Ashley and the Under-19s women's team were meant to fly out to Kazan... or Ryazan, or some place like that in Russia for some European qualifiers. Anyway, I told Ash that I wouldn't let her or the other girls go there..."

 

"And she didn't appreciate that, I guess?"

 

Catterall angrily raised his voice, "Bloody right, she didn't! Kat and Ashley stormed out the restaurant we were at, and I ain't heard a word from them since. I've tried to call them both every night without fail, and they just won't answer!"

 

"Maybe they're not ready to reach out to you yet," Burke said. He then let out a sigh and continued, "What did I tell you all them months ago about Ashley, eh? I think I said something along the lines of 'don't act like some kind of creep'. Calling her and her mum every single night sounds a bit creepy and stalkerish to me."

 

Catterall went over to a sink and took off his glasses before splashing some water over his face. He then sighed, "Yeah, you've got a point."

 

"You need to stop obsessing over those two. You've got your own family to take after, haven't you?"

 

Catterall took a gulp as Burke continued, "Let this slide for now, eh? I'm sure Kat and Ash will forgive you in time."

 

After putting his glasses back on, Catterall said, "You know best, don't you, Mick? You've been with Julia since you were teenagers and you've had a stable family unit for 20 years now. I, on the other hand, have already f***ed up one marriage... and I probably would've f***ed another up if you hadn't given me that talk just now."

 

Burke growled impatiently, "Are you ready to go now, Mark? You've been holding the team up for 10 minutes. We could've been checking into the hotel by now!"

 

Catterall nodded in apology and followed Burke out of the toilets and back towards the coach. Gregory was now standing beside the door, where he snarled, "I had you down as many things, Catterall. You're obnoxious, obsessive, idealistic... but I never thought you would ever be late!"

 

"Yeah, sorry," Catterall mumbled as he walked up the stairs and onto the coach. The players looked up towards him, as if to demand an apology themselves.

 

Catterall then swallowed his pride and told the group, "I guess I need to apologise to you lot as well. Sorry for holding you up, lads. I just had some... personal problems... in, er, the plumbing department."

 

Platt raised his fist in the air before quietly crowing, "Called it!"

 

As his fellow coach Warren Joyce in the seat next to him handed over a £10 note, Platt continued, "When you've been in and around the England set-up for the best part of 30 years, you get to figure out all the excuses for lateness."

 

Joyce then stated, "You still owe me 20 quid for betting that Callum Wilson wouldn't score two more goals in the second half."

 

"Oh, balls."