The Ageless Eighties - An International Football Diary

[neilhoskins77]

The eighties! A decade where the internet connection never once let me down, and my phone never failed to have a signal, though roaming was an issue with it. Bad hair, bad clothes, crap music, and four largely poxy tv channels. Back then the equivalent of streaming music was recording the songs you liked from the radio on a Sunday afternoon when the chart show was on, trying to press 'stop' on the cassette before the DJ started talking over the end of it.

Nowadays Sunday afternoons are dominated by football for sports fans. In the eighties you were living your best life if you got two live games a week, never mind two a day. The exception was International Football. And that's very much where I'm focusing here, with a diary if you will of International Football during the 1980's.

Let's call it the mid-late 1980's, as time has very little meaning or relevance right here readers. This is a parallel International Football universe if you will, where no one ever ages. The players just stay the same, tournament Qualifying and Finals process after tournament Qualifying and Finals process. They don't get any better or worse, they never really change formations, never mind clubs.

Ukraine, Belarus, Moldova etc are all encompassed under the iron rule of the old Soviet Union or USSR if you prefer, while Yugoslavia and Czechoslovakia are also still alive and kicking too, and the Germans still have the wall through the middle of Berlin. The English can't win a penalty shoot out and the Scots are still s**t. So in some ways it's like nothing has ever really changed.

Football was a far less complicated game back in the eighties. You get one less formation than you get tv channels, sweepers have never been heard of! False nine? that's a card game right? You're either a goalie, a defender, a midfielder or a striker, that's your lot.

I'm bringing back 'old skool' football, and you're gonna like it, even if you don't like it.

There's no starting unemployed here. I have to condemn a nation to the eternal misery of my management. So I've picked Wales, because it makes no difference to them. In the eighties we were bad enough that our misery already felt eternal. 43 players painstakingly recreated in a labour of love......well, I typed in their names, clubs and gave them a position. What more do you want from me? After that, it's down to fate whether they will be International superstars or never heard of again.

Go on, indulge me. Try and do what no one ever did in the Eighties, and enjoy yourself........

[neilhoskins77]

The draw is made for the Qualifying Phase of our opening Tournament, the European Championships. This draw will also highlight to you how the number of nations in Europe has grown over the last 25-30 years I'd imagine, unless you're an old duffer like me, and remember how it used to be....

Group One :- Austria, Bulgaria, Malta, West Germany
Group Two :- Cyprus, Czechoslovakia, USSR, Wales
Group Three :- Albania, East Germany, Hungary, Spain
Group Four :- Belgium, Scotland, Switzerland, Yugoslavia
Group Five :- Poland, Republic of Ireland, Sweden, Turkey
Group Six :- Greece, Holland, Northern Ireland, Norway
Group Seven :- England, Finland, Luxembourg, Romania
Group Eight :- Denmark, France, Iceland, Italy, Portugal

Eight groups, eight spots to play for. No direct path for the Holders or Hosts here. The home nations are all kept apart, with England given a fairly straightforward path it would seem. Things will be more difficult for the Republic, Northern Ireland and Scotland, while my Wales team will be frequenting the Eastern Bloc as well as sunnier destinations with Cyprus you'd hope offering a better chance of securing wins.

I have some time between now and our first Qualifiers away to the Czechs and Soviets. We then return home to host Cyprus and the Czechs, followed by the USSR, and then finish up in Cyprus, where no doubt we'll probably only need a point to secure the top spot.....or not. We'll see.

A five game summer tour is organised. We'll head down under first to face New Zealand and Australia, before crossing back across the globe to the Americas where we will gradually track north after facing likely our toughest test in Mexico, before rounding off against the United States and Canada.

Twenty two players have been named in my Squad for the Tour, that's the maximum I'm allowed, with only two substitutions permitted per game. All cap and goals statistics are starting from zero here too. Some of the names will be familiar to Welsh readers. Some will be familiar to all of a certain age. Some will have you wondering who the hell that guy is....

Goalkeepers :- Dibble, Norman, Southall
Defenders :- Aizlewood, Blackmore, Bodin, Law, Melville, Slatter, Van den Hauwe
Midfielders :- Davies, Hall, Jackett, James, Nicholas, Pascoe, Speed, Williams
Forwards :- Allen, Lovell, Roberts, Saunders

We start this tour in the Land of the Long White Cloud, New Zealand.

International Friendly (A) vs New Zealand
(4-3-3) - Southall; Blackmore, Bodin, Aizlewood, Melville; Nicholas, Davies, Pascoe; Allen, Roberts, Saunders.

An error strewn start to the game from both teams, though New Zealand's task was made more difficult when De Jong was shown a straight red card in the 12th minute for a crude tackle on Pascoe inside his own half. It would take us almost half an hour to get a shot on target due to New Zealand's well organised defence, but when it came Saunders found the net with a low shot from range, a lead that stuck through to half time. Jackett and Lovell are summoned from the bench, replacing Pascoe and Allen. The game descended into a scrappy game littered with yet more mistakes, and contested almost entirely in the hosts half. Saunders would find the net for a second time on the hour, with Nicholas adding a third less than five minutes later with the floodgates threatening to open. Roberts was booked with ten minutes to go for a tackle that saw Halford stretchered off, but the All Whites never really got into our half, much less troubled Southall in goal.

New Zealand (0) 0
Wales (1) 3 - Saunders (28,60), Nicholas (64)

The short passing that I requested showed up a big issue for my team, they can't pass. We may have to go longer and quicker out of necessity as opposed to choice. But a win is a win is a win they say. If only we could beat them at rugby as well.....

[oche balboa]

Love this. But which version are you using? 

[neilhoskins77]

6 hours ago, oche balboa said:

Love this. But which version are you using? 

Hi Oche, Hope you're well. Thanks for following along as always.

Consider it as a hybrid between a fantasy game and a heavily edited and modified early Championship Manager.

[neilhoskins77]

With the first game of my reign under our belts, we head over to Australia for the second game of our five match tour Down Under and the Americas.

International Friendly (A) vs Australia
(4-3-3) - Norman; Law, Slatter, Aizlewood, Melville; Nicholas, Speed, R.James; Allen, Roberts, Saunders.

Five changes to the starting lineup here, including debut caps for Law, Slatter, Speed and James. Just like in New Zealand, we appeared too strong for the Aussies early on, pinning them into their half, but failing to create much in the way of chances, Saunders forcing a low stop from Greedy. Our hosts worked their way back into the game though, helped by our continued poor passing, and Aizlewood was booked midway through the half for bringing down Farina just outside the box. Law tested Greedy again before the break, but once more the keeper was equal to the effort. Aizlewood and Speed were withdrawn at half time, two more debutants coming on in Van den Hauwe and Williams. I was now asking my players to play at a higher tempo, and I liked what I saw, but we still were struggling to create chances, Saunders missing the target from range, James heading over from the best chance so far. Finally, when I was considering what the media backlash may be for failing to win this game, James won the ball high up the park and crossed for substitute Williams to head home from close range in the 77th minute! Unfortunately, ten minutes later I'd have to think about the backlash once again, as a quick counter attack left Saunders as the wrong man to be marking striker Patikas, and he easily beat our striker in the air to head home the equaliser with only three minutes left to play. A pretty disappointing result here.

Australia (0) 1 - Patikas (87)
Wales (0) 1 - Williams (77)

We would leave the continent with disappointment at that result, and contemplating what was to come as we moved around the globe and to the Americas, where we would move gradually north while playing three games to complete this tour. The first of the trio would be the most difficult of the trip it was expected, as we faced Mexico, the most recent World Cup hosts.

International Friendly (A) vs Mexico
(4-4-2) - Southall; Blackmore, Law, Melville, Aizlewood; Nicholas, Pascoe, Williams, Davies; Roberts, Saunders.

This would be the game I'd earmarked to try our defensive and counter attacking plan that we would likely be forced into using against the Czechs and Soviets in the upcoming Qualifying matches. While it was immediately clear we were very capable of defending stoutly, it was also just as clear that we weren't going to ever have enough about us to cause anything more than a punchers chance of hitting decisively on the counter attack. Striker Sanchez could've given the hosts an 18th minute lead, but Southall produced a spectacular save to tip his effort over. But the reprieve was brief as Cruz picked out Aguirre who volleyed home in the 24th minute. Roberts fired wide in a rare foray forward, before Southall denied Aguirre a second with another superb save. The blows kept coming as we lost Saunders to injury before the break, replaced by Lovell. By the time we reached the break both Sanchez and Aguirre had missed the target with further chances to increase the lead, and Lovell had also now taken a knock himself. Needless to say I wasn't especially confident going into the second half, but we created the opening chance when Davies sent a header at goal that was comfortably held by Larios. It was still a shock though when Melville's long ball upfield was headed home by Pascoe just before the break! Suddenly we looked the better team, with our passing finding it's mark more often than not, though Munoz and Sanchez both spurned chances to reinstate the Mexican lead. He had to come good at some point though, and after several more missed pot shots, Sanchez finally beat Southall in the 73rd minute following a goalmouth scramble that had included a penalty shout. Hall replaced Nicholas for his debut after that goal, which had proven to be the final significant moment of the game.

Mexico (1) 2 - Aguirre (24), Sanchez (73)
Wales (0) 1 - Pascoe (58)

I wasn't too disheartened at all after that outing, where I thought we had played pretty well, and the performance was as satisfying as the result in Australia had been disappointing. We would 'wave' goodbye to Mexico now, with some very useful data as to how to approach our competitive games that were on the horizon. But before then, we would head north for further Friendly dates with first the United States, and then Canada.

[neilhoskins77]

We have played three of the five games scheduled for our whistlestop Tour, with a win, draw and loss on the record. We were absolutely hoping to pick up wins from our two remaining stops, as we trekked north from Mexico.

International Friendly (A) vs United States of America
(4-3-3-) - Dibble; Bodin, Law, Melville, Van den Hauwe; Hall, Jackett, Speed; Allen, Roberts, Lovell.

Dibble gets his debut in goal, while Bodin and Van den Hauwe replace Blackmore and Aizlewood at the back. Hall, Jackett and Speed all come in as an experimental midfield trio on our return to 4-3-3, with Allen and Lovell joining Roberts up top. It was a busy opening few minutes in goal for Dibble on his debut as the US disrupted our passes and turned us over high up the park, one such turnover leading to Gillan striking a low shot that Dibble had to turn around the post. As seems to be often the case, we took a while to get going. When we did a great chance fell to the wrong man from our point of view, Van den Hauwe driving his shot right at Dodd. We then lost Roberts to injury as Cogsville went too far to ensure the striker didn't get his shot away, and as Saunders prepared to replace him, Hall fired wide from a free kick routine. Still goalless at the break, I was encouraged by the domination we were starting to show, enough to move us into a more attacking mindset after Lovell fired twice within minutes of each other. Williams replaced Speed as I searched for more accuracy with our passing, and it would eventually pay off in the 70th minute with Allen scoring from a placed shot to open his account for his country!I thought we had a quick second too, but Williams effort from Bodin's cross was ruled out for offside. We did spend the last few minutes camped in our half under intense US pressure, but a Diffley shot wide of the target was all they would manage, and we had secured a narrow win.

United States of America (0) 0
Wales (0) 1 - Allen (70)

I very much doubt if any watching scouts from Czechoslovakia or the USSR will be quaking in their boots at the prospect of facing us in the near future, but we are starting to find our way a bit, and I'm confident that we will at the very least prove difficult to beat. That said, I was very much expecting a win as we headed north once more for the final stop of the Tour, and a fixture with Canada.

International Friendly (A) vs Canada
(4-3-3) - Dibble; Bodin, Slatter, Aizlewood, Van den Hauwe; Nicholas, James, Williams; Allen, Saunders, Lovell.

Dibble retains his spot in goal having waited the longest for a game and not really having much to do against the US. Slatter and Aizlewood replace Law and Melville at the back, while Nicholas, James and Williams are the midfield trio this time. Saunders replaces the injured Roberts up front. This time I started with the attacking mindset, and it almost paid off early, keeper Dolan pushing Aizlewood's shot onto the post, Lovell only able to fire the loose ball wide. The best chance after that would fall to Sweeney, but he fired high and wide with only Dibble to beat. Then right on half time Saunders and Allen combined, the latter seeing his shot pushed onto the bar by Dolan, and as the ball dropped back to Williams he was fouled by Bridge. The ref deemed the foul to be just outside the box, and awarded a free kick that was pushed to the side and Nicholas fired into the bottom corner to give us a half time lead. Probably just as well we had snatched the lead too, as the second half was a largely tepid affair with limited chances in front of goal, Lenarduzzi missing the target with Canada's best chance as Dibble wasn't worked yet again. Blackmore and Speed came on for Slatter and James, and our chances to increase our lead came and went late on, Williams appeals for a penalty denied, before Bodin headed wide from a set piece, as Allen finished the game hobbling after injuring himself making a tackle.

Canada (0) 0
Wales (1) 1 - Nicholas (44)

We're hardly setting the world on fire, but three wins and a draw with just the one defeat which was not unexpected at all gives us some confidence heading into future fixtures. We have shown ourselves competent at playing a quick and direct game to get ourselves up the park and away from our goal at least, even if we are not creating a huge amount of chances from it. The acid test comes when we have to do that from a defensive mindset against much better technical teams.

We'll now move into August of Year #1, and with other nations having Friendlies arranged, we'll start to see what they can do in the opening stages of this 1980's reboot........