Owen Newitt and The Worcester Boys ( Take Two )

[Brian of Nazareth]

Owen Newitt contemplated the season that had just passed him by. His first year of management in football had been an enjoyably tricky one. It had been a life long ambition of his father's to control Worcester and when Steve had accepted his offer back in July 2000 he had taken the chance readily.

Contracting players to the club had proved to be a little on the harder side though, with many students brought in on part time contracts and other workers looking for a bit of fun. He’d even asked his friends to play too and they had. Mossy had been a sturdy right back, always going in with tough challenges, even to the point where his eagerness would carry him forward into unfortunate opponents who may not have had the ball for a few minutes. Lee had loved playing up front alongside part time legal eagle Phil Harris. The fact he couldn’t hit a cows arse with the proverbial never worried anyone at the club unduly because of his endearing enthusiasm on the pitch. The way his legs would rotate in that lovingly spasticated manner was a sight to behold. The smile even after he’d spooned a shot over from 2` yards was never one forgotten at St. Georges. Of course fans did become wary and he was dropped from the side as actual professionals were brought into the side, but he had added his own uniqueness to the dressing room.

There had been the 2 Joe’s as well both as vital as the other. Joe Parks, the part time train station guard at Foregate Street Station had been the rotated goalkeeper and played several games for the side. As the season drew on, the on loan Everton starlet Tim Baker had shown his class and held down a spot but Joe never gave up and his perseverance often saw him rewarded with substitutions in the final few minutes when Worcester were already smashed, with no chance of turning the game around.

The other Jo was in fact Joanne. A fact cunningly hidden from the FA, and for a large part Steve. Joanne’s ambitions were called into question when she seduced Steve days after he won the lottery at which point he most certainly did learn of her actual sexuality, but the grumpy old man didn’t complain. And married her. They both spoke of the true love that had befallen the two as they romanced into various sunsets and planned on settling in Bognor Regis. Happy to have supposedly found a partner to share his dreams and ideals, he saw no qualm in handing over many of his winnings to Oxfam and a few local charities that looked after wee kiddies or the elderly. Joanne divorced him shortly after. Irreconcilable differences apparently. Steve drank himself to an unfortunate death, careering drunkenly off a mountainside cliff astride his unicycle.

Who else had there been? Well the student kids, James Taylor, Rod Davies, Richard Kelly and Drew Bradman had all come in and done their fare share before buggering off travelling round the world getting drunk, high, or frequently both, all the time. Now back, they have promised to be made available for any future Worcester games given that first year at University didn’t require much thought anyway. There had been the quite literally dopey Jono Roberts and that was not in terms of height. He’d never been able to kick the habit and the way he drifted randomly round the pitch emitting the occasional yell for more pizza saw his career with Worcester tragically cut short.

Steve, himself and even his Dad had played but after his dad was forced into a coronary one afternoon it was decided it would best for all parties concerned if he no longer offered his services as a player. He is now chief of staff for the maintenance crew, specialising in drainage control.

Later in the year, Brian Cohen had arrived from Bethlehem FC on a free and the midfielder had provided some tough tackling displays in the heart as the favourite terrace chant: “You’re Going Home In An Ambulance†was proved surprisingly accurate most weekends. Such displays were frowned on by the FA for some reason who had made it part of their mandate to stamp out (metaphorically speaking) on stamping (physically) in the game so consequently saw several red cards headed his way. Amid very boring chants of “He’s a naughty boy†and “You’re The One†Brian had a slight tendency to over react and tell them to F*ck off and leave him alone. This brought a tiny bit of controversy to the club and at the end of the campaign Brian upped and left and the last Owen heard, he was living happily in Wales as manager of a brothel.

But of course there had been good old Aidan. The nutter. He of walking into walls because he couldn’t see it fame. Initially his year seemed to have ended when Owen and Steve had decided that a maniac whose enthusiasm and madness was inversely proportional to his ability wasn’t worth hanging on to. However as the season drew on, the dressing room gathered a distinctly stale feeling, which led to a call back for The Idiot. In all fairness to the lad he had cleaned up his act. The initial rejection first time round had inspired the lad to change his ways as he bulked up and provided a few lively displays towards the latter part of the year. He was now committed to another season of conference football with the club.

Yes, conference football.

[Brian of Nazareth]

Owen Newitt contemplated the season that had just passed him by. His first year of management in football had been an enjoyably tricky one. It had been a life long ambition of his father's to control Worcester and when Steve had accepted his offer back in July 2000 he had taken the chance readily.

Contracting players to the club had proved to be a little on the harder side though, with many students brought in on part time contracts and other workers looking for a bit of fun. He’d even asked his friends to play too and they had. Mossy had been a sturdy right back, always going in with tough challenges, even to the point where his eagerness would carry him forward into unfortunate opponents who may not have had the ball for a few minutes. Lee had loved playing up front alongside part time legal eagle Phil Harris. The fact he couldn’t hit a cows arse with the proverbial never worried anyone at the club unduly because of his endearing enthusiasm on the pitch. The way his legs would rotate in that lovingly spasticated manner was a sight to behold. The smile even after he’d spooned a shot over from 2` yards was never one forgotten at St. Georges. Of course fans did become wary and he was dropped from the side as actual professionals were brought into the side, but he had added his own uniqueness to the dressing room.

There had been the 2 Joe’s as well both as vital as the other. Joe Parks, the part time train station guard at Foregate Street Station had been the rotated goalkeeper and played several games for the side. As the season drew on, the on loan Everton starlet Tim Baker had shown his class and held down a spot but Joe never gave up and his perseverance often saw him rewarded with substitutions in the final few minutes when Worcester were already smashed, with no chance of turning the game around.

The other Jo was in fact Joanne. A fact cunningly hidden from the FA, and for a large part Steve. Joanne’s ambitions were called into question when she seduced Steve days after he won the lottery at which point he most certainly did learn of her actual sexuality, but the grumpy old man didn’t complain. And married her. They both spoke of the true love that had befallen the two as they romanced into various sunsets and planned on settling in Bognor Regis. Happy to have supposedly found a partner to share his dreams and ideals, he saw no qualm in handing over many of his winnings to Oxfam and a few local charities that looked after wee kiddies or the elderly. Joanne divorced him shortly after. Irreconcilable differences apparently. Steve drank himself to an unfortunate death, careering drunkenly off a mountainside cliff astride his unicycle.

Who else had there been? Well the student kids, James Taylor, Rod Davies, Richard Kelly and Drew Bradman had all come in and done their fare share before buggering off travelling round the world getting drunk, high, or frequently both, all the time. Now back, they have promised to be made available for any future Worcester games given that first year at University didn’t require much thought anyway. There had been the quite literally dopey Jono Roberts and that was not in terms of height. He’d never been able to kick the habit and the way he drifted randomly round the pitch emitting the occasional yell for more pizza saw his career with Worcester tragically cut short.

Steve, himself and even his Dad had played but after his dad was forced into a coronary one afternoon it was decided it would best for all parties concerned if he no longer offered his services as a player. He is now chief of staff for the maintenance crew, specialising in drainage control.

Later in the year, Brian Cohen had arrived from Bethlehem FC on a free and the midfielder had provided some tough tackling displays in the heart as the favourite terrace chant: “You’re Going Home In An Ambulance†was proved surprisingly accurate most weekends. Such displays were frowned on by the FA for some reason who had made it part of their mandate to stamp out (metaphorically speaking) on stamping (physically) in the game so consequently saw several red cards headed his way. Amid very boring chants of “He’s a naughty boy†and “You’re The One†Brian had a slight tendency to over react and tell them to F*ck off and leave him alone. This brought a tiny bit of controversy to the club and at the end of the campaign Brian upped and left and the last Owen heard, he was living happily in Wales as manager of a brothel.

But of course there had been good old Aidan. The nutter. He of walking into walls because he couldn’t see it fame. Initially his year seemed to have ended when Owen and Steve had decided that a maniac whose enthusiasm and madness was inversely proportional to his ability wasn’t worth hanging on to. However as the season drew on, the dressing room gathered a distinctly stale feeling, which led to a call back for The Idiot. In all fairness to the lad he had cleaned up his act. The initial rejection first time round had inspired the lad to change his ways as he bulked up and provided a few lively displays towards the latter part of the year. He was now committed to another season of conference football with the club.

Yes, conference football.

[Brian of Nazareth]

Worcester City had battled strongly all season improving all the way and critics who had laughed off their chances of even reaching double figures in terms of either goals or points were amazed by their improvement, especially during a second half run that culminated in a fantastic 6-1 win over the utterly useless Forest Green Rovers. That game had seen Lee delight the crowd with a spectacular hat trick. The win had lifted Worcester to 3rd from bottom where they eventually finished the year but another controversy had helped them keep afloat to their relief, as the Worcester Evening News had reported:

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">

24.05.01

Worcester Up As Disgraced Banker Folds Telford

In breathtaking developments at the Football Association’s new headquarters in Somerset, chief executive Mark Palios confirmed rumours that had surfaced in certain local and national media outlets.

Dirk Rodgers, the Merchant Banker and Chairman of the club formerly known as Telford United Football Club, had folded the club amid allegations of serious mismanagement and the illegal channelling of finances into the **** fighting trade.

Dirk, 114, from Chipping Ognor, was a reclusive gambler, often locked in his office hours on end and though many colleagues just presumed he was dead or on the way there, he was in fact completing destroying Telford by directing all the income towards certain unlisted companies.

After a brief period of initial investigation it was discovered that these were merely ruses, covers for more inappropriate activities. They were equally divided between purchases for pornographic material and for setting up illegal stages where **** fighting took place. This “under the covers†sport has been a favourite of compulsive gamblers for several years but the business has never really been extinguished and as Dirk’s Disgrace shows now – it is still alive and well.

Dirk was unavailable for comment, although he did offer a “f*ck you,†to passing journalists. We do not believe there is a hidden meaning to be learned from this expression, unless you would like to offer one yourself.

The upshot is, that all Telford’s players are available on a free, the ground is being sold off to pay for debts incurred by the gambling and several ring leaders in charge of the ****-fighting are now awaiting trial.

Palios then responded by clarifying what this would mean for the league and who would replace who in a statement released this afternoon.

“ Given the events that have unfolded at Telford FC over the past few days it has become clear that their position in the Football Conference has become untenable and Dirk Rodgers folded the club. Now they no longer exist the FA have determined it is a simple matter that the 3 promoted sides of the Dr. Martens, Razzler and Levi-Strauss leagues will take their place in the conference along with the side that finished 3rd from bottom in the Conference last season, namely Worcester City F.C. The knock on effect for the Dr. Martens is simply that the league now has a more organised 22-team league as opposed to the 23-team league before it. Goodbye Telford FC, it’s time for your fans to find a new club.â€

This news has delighted Worcester City chairman Jeff Daniels, O.B.E, who believes that this “is in fact a reward for the fans and the side who performed admirably in difficult circumstances the previous year.

“The club will now look to take advantage of this to progress and we hope to bring in more players fit to sustain a more successful challenge for places in the conference. Under the leadership of Owen Newitt and his assistant Sally Swallow, we believe the club can sustain itself for the foreseeable future and who knows where we can eventually go?â€

Fan reaction has seen many of the clubs followers rejoice following the decision. Here are some exerts we gathered from the high street.

“Wahey!†Bill, Glasgow

“We’re goin’ up! We’re goin’ up! We’re goinâ€â€™ right up to the top!†Young Mick, Crowngate

“ Hahahahaha! I hated Telford all my life. Theys stole ma truck, Hahahahahaha!†Billy-Joe, Arizona

“ Well know we’ve got to take advantage, build on our squad of players and hope to bring in enough quality to ensure we don’t have to rely on senile addicts to ****-fighters in the future.†Carl, Dudley,

“I’m sure Owen can do it! Him and that lass Sally make a great team†Fred, Worcester

“ Wow! I’m in the news! I’m Famous!†Anon

</div></BLOCKQUOTE>

[Brian of Nazareth]

Authors Notes:

Going back to a story I like before might not be a great idea, but sod it. Anyway it's a different version of CM, so not a direct carry on, but let's pretend eh?

[axeman]

This is bound to be a good one. I've already laughed hard enough to warrant sitting on the bog next time I start reading, in order to avoid "accidents"

[Brian of Nazareth]

I can but hope, computer spazness brought my last effort to a halt ( it is true ) but the previous ones were left unfinished be a lazy me. Hopefully this one should last longer than the others.

---

Now, Sally and Owen were looking to a summer of promise. Owen's workmates weren't sure whether they'd be around much for the new season, but with contracts finally available they signed up tentatively. However, Lee and Mossy both weren't able to fulfill their commitments any longer so had to leave, which meant Owen had a rather unfortunate large surplus of University students at his disposal. He'd be looking at more permanent options when he could. Well firstly there was the honeymoon in the Mauritius to enjoy following the pair’s marriage last week at a well-attended ceremony in Doverdale. Their relationship, Owen considered, was one that had experienced several rocky rides along the way. After initially convincing the initial fan on their first date to sign up for a few games, a horror car crash kept Sally in hospital for several weeks before she eventually made a gradual recovery. It was a time that drained plenty of energy from Owen, who, despite having suffered his own career ending leg injury within the first month of their debut season, had been forced to make an appearance or two throughout to prevent the side from having points taken away for not fielding a proper eleven. The Conference chiefs, miserable swines as they were, had refused requests to play Harry and Barry, the pet bulldogs on one such occasion.

Anyway, Sally did get back to her full level of fitness and began to contribute to squad football by the end of the campaign. During the time her relationship with Owen strengthened as the two barely left each other’s side, one acting as the rock for the other when needed. It was no surprise to hear they had decided to wed.

Once that was over, the focus would still be on the coming pre-season. It may have been June but Owen wanted to prepare properly. This meant properly researching new talent, chasing after new players and re-organising the coaching staff after the welcome input from Mr. Daniels the owner. The new owner.

Mr. Daniels had been a property-investment tycoon, who turned his attentions to horse racing and being one of those lucky fellows who never seem to miss, made even further earnings from the Racecourse at the bottom of Castle Street. With enough money to retire several times over, the restless 48 year old turned his attention to sport and the local sides. Worcester Rugby benefited as they gained promotion to the Zurich Premiership before the Cricket Club soon received an influx of funds that helped fund an improved academy of excellence for the youth. Finally, he realised there was a small football club in the town and bought out Steve’s relatives to take full control. The prospect of having plenty to spend was swiftly dashed though as Jeff endured a painful divorce to 19 year old page 3 model Tiffany Daffodil. His fortune had declined rapidly to the point where an unsuccessful flurry on the horses, saw Worcester gain no real benefit from his takeover at all. However he did take the sensible step to retrace his roots, and a burgeoning property development office was established in the downtown area, replacing the crappy C n’A in the Crowngate Shopping Precinct. Seeing as C n’ A was less popular than gay weddings in conservative America, it was fair to say the locals were glad of the change and Jeff’s good luck, on early signs, look to have returned.

Anyway, Owen awoke from his reverie to the call of his new Mrs.

“ Owen sweetheart, do you know where those carrots you bought this afternoon are?â€

“ Um yeah. I do know where they are. They’re um, with all the other food… at the shop.â€

“ Arrgh, Owen you arse! It was my turn to cook, what am I going to do now?â€

“ Not my problem.†Owen replied somewhat harshly considering he’d decided scratching his testicles was a far more relaxing way to spend an afternoon than go shopping.

“ Fine, bugger food tonight. Did you get that message from that guy?â€

“ What you mean the chap who rang about investment and, or recruiting new players?â€

“ Yeah. What do you think?â€

“Well given his name comes up on google several hundred times for recent convictions of fraud I’m guessing it’s a no go area.â€

“Ah well, so have to make do with what Jeff can offer then?â€

“Yeah, we’re like any other conference side really- only without players.â€

“You got the Uni boys, it’ll be good to see them again at pre-season.â€

“We can’t use them again Sal! It’s ridiculous! No more druggies, drunks or stoners! I want a proper football team for God’s sake!â€

“They almost did it last year and with this Telford break they deserve every chance!â€

“ Damn right! Now let’s go for a chippy.â€

[Brian of Nazareth]

Meanwhile on the industrial side of town, Rod Davies was sitting in a Vauxhall Astra owned by BSM Driving School, with a pale-faced instructor methodically counting up the errors. Rod knew it was bad, it took Chris 5 minutes to tally up.

“So Rod. How did you rate that drive?â€

“ Well it wasn’t my bes-“

“ It was crap. 31 minors and 12 major errors on the card here. I had to use the dual controls twice and you racked a lot of errors up for mistakenly thinking the car ahead of you was waiting in a queue, when he had quite clearly parked his car on the side of the round. I even commented to you on the driver as he opened the door to his house.â€

“ Um... Oops?â€

“ Bus lanes are also a no-no, as are ignoring red lights, clipping curbs, never using your mirrors and thinking it’s ok to use the sidewalk to drive around a slow vehicle.â€

“ I think I’m getting a clearer picture here…â€

“ Please, don’t call me again.â€

“ So you don’t think I have much of a chance?†Rod inquired hopefully.

“ Try again when not under the influence. It didn’t help – but no offence, a drive like this scared the hell out of me. I’ll take you back home as I don’t want to risk any incident.â€

“ Nah, I’ll get out here and wander around if that’s ok. Sorry Chris.â€

Rod stepped out of the car and only belatedly realised he had left the handbrake off as he watched Chris frantically trying to stop the car rolling round the bend. It hadn’t been the best of tests if truth be told. He hadn’t been drunk or high at all, that was an unfair slur but after stalling 5 successive times Rod came to the conclusion that public transport was in fact an excellent method of transport as he dug out his cell phone and began dialling.

“Hey mate, it’s Rodders here… yeah… no… I failed… pretty close actually, think I might get it next time…. Same place in about 30 minutes then?… sure, the usual crew coming along?…. good good. Can’t wait to pull on the kit once more eh?…. Right on mate. Anyway, in a bit.â€

The “usual crew†consisted of Rod’s fellow friends from the season before, James Taylor and Richard Kelly were the regulars and towards the end other lads started to take an interest and forced themselves into contention as both Drew and Richard Whitty came on a few times. Heck, even Simon, “the Oxford one†had managed an appearance, even if it was as an 87th minute substitute.

They had gone off on their respective paths after school had ended, a few went travelling around the world, others started University courses and Jeff had even begun apprenticeship at an engineer firm on the south coast at Southampton. It seemed for many initially as if their bond would deteriorate over time and gradually they’d lose all contact with each other. However, the Worcester City cause proved a perfect occasion to maintain the bonds, and now, despite all the individuals having very different interests in studying and beyond, the common theme that kept them all together was playing for Worcester City. They weren’t regulars by any means but most weekends and normally every Tuesday and Thursday they had religiously turned up to training. A ritual that was habitually followed by a night on the town, usually at Tramps, or Bamboo if they could be bothered.

At the current time, most of them, along with a few other non-footballing friends were all heading to meet at The Postal Order, next to Foregate Street Station and opposite the Odeon cinema. It was a fairly regular event, especially since June had arrived, holidays were over and travels had ended.

[Brian of Nazareth]

Introducing Benny and Paul

Working behind the desk of the Worcester Evening News that day was Benny Broadhurst, a 22 year old man of stocky build from Hallow, a small town only 5 minutes outside of the city centre. Benny had been educated in the schools there, aided tremendously by his parents wealthy background in worm farming, a lucrative trade in the middle east, as Benny passed smoothly through the Grammar School and then completed a degree in Ecology at Wexford College before his entire family fortune went to pot when his parents were sadly and quite unfortunately, brutally murdered by rebels in Kuwait. Benny spent his inheritance on buying a house in London but it bankrupted the poor chap after his monthly maintenance bill came to £2.3 million. He then returned to his roots, and an old friend helped him land a job at the Evening News in the Sports Department.

It was he then who found the loose paper on the floor outside his boss’ room. Clearly the paper had in fact blown from the fan out of the room but being a curious type, a trait that cost his parents their heads, and by default their lives, he picked it up and surreptitiously slipped it into his pocket and returned to his little work station, a dull area of no more than 2 by 2 metres in shape. A computer, some memos and a picture of a 2-legged cat were all that surrounded Benny.

Unfurling the printed email next to his mug of lukewarm disgusting coffee, he began to read, and within minutes colleagues were inquiring as to why Benny kept sniggering to himself for no apparent reason. A deadline for all stories in the next 45 minutes didn’t seem particularly amusing to them. Benny declined to comment, as he carefully pocketed the note into his bottom draw, hidden under a mouldy packet of potato chips. Nice bit of potential blackmail there he thought, as he smiled to himself and returned his attention to completing the uninspiring article on how the Worcester Ravens were taking on the Droitwich Spa Swifts Under 14s in a friendly trial game in a week’s time. Summer was excruciatingly dull without his favoured Worcester City to report on. Just last week he had been asked to manage a “BIG news item†for the front page. It initially filled him with joy, only to learn that it was an analysis on whether or not there were enough bins on the street, hardly the stuff of dreams.

After completing the 180 word piece, Benny decided he was done for the day as he wondered out the door, turned right, crossing over the Severn, before ambling his way over to the cricket club, where a twenty-twenty game was taking place, and against rivals Warwickshire too. A fiery crowd of 450 had decided to turn up, the majority still sound asleep and over 60. He was sure some of them were dead. He hadn’t just come to watch a couple of men try and slog their heart out, nor had he come to see if the half time entertainment was any more lame than the last time he’d visited when a whole host of cartoon characters descended on the pitch at the interval and set up a circus act. It was a joke, and one that sadly hardly anyone appreciated. No, Benny was here to meet Paul Martin, one of the directors on the Worcester City board for an informal chat, as Benny was already preparing his masterful pre-season preview a good couple of months ahead of time.

A leisurely stroll past the refreshment stands found Paul a Canadian emigre, in charge of Finance and Sponsorship, casually laid back in his deck chair with a half full pint glass of Stella Artois in his left hand.

“ So Paul, good game then?†Paul turned around to meet his newly arrived companion.

“Oh hello there, Benny. Got yourself a beer there, good, good. Anyway, have a seat. Worcester aren’t doing particularly great at the moment, but I don’t think anyone really cares.â€

“ Nah, I suppose not. 20-20 is a waste of space. Anyway, I guess it’s probably worth getting the business out of the way eh?â€

“Good idea old bean. So, you know about Jeff [Daniels] then?â€

“ Yes, read all about him and his colourful past. Is his property business doing well then?â€

“Not bad actually, already his old magic has worked wonders. Now he’s put me in charge of arranging sponsorship deals and attracting new investors, and of course one good way of promoting the club is through the media…â€

“ Think I’ve got it already Paul.â€

“Heh, subtlety has never been my strong point, but yes I’m hoping you could play a role in this. You have your connections, however tenuous and I’d love you to make use of them. We’re looking for outside investment to aid the improvement, and generally to simply put your name out there for the fans to see. I’m sure there are plenty of folk who follow Worcester’s success half heartedly, whilst actually supporting one of the Premiership sides but we want them to come down to the ground and support the club properly.â€

“ Might take a while for change to be noticeable…â€

“Arh, I know, but we have to give it a good shot, and in return you can be our official club reporter if you like. Free tickets, exclusive interviews with the staff and players etc, you know the deal.â€

“ Ok, Paul, I like the proposition. I’ll give it my best shot, and hopefully the old football side can improve it’s profile on and off the pitch. Put it there.†Benny extended his arm, shaking it firmly with Paul’s, as the two were both satisfied with today’s little business. Benny, electing not to watch the cricket any further, downed his glass and headed for the exit, and for once he was relishing the work

[Brian of Nazareth]

The Talbot

Gathered around the table are Rod Davies, James Taylor, Richard Kelly, Drew Bradman, Richard Whitty, Jeff Tipps, Shaun Rabbit and Dick Holder.

" So mate, how's it going?" Rod kicked off the discussion asking Drew.

" Not bad, you know, still with that lass now, been a year now, back of the net and all that. Medicine sucks, but hey I get to see dead people - or about-to-be-dead people so that's alright y'know? "

"Nice. Going to Leeds/Reading this year?"

" Nah can't be arsed - plus I don't have the money, it's a 200 quid weekend and I don't have that much spare. Probs focus on the footie I guess. Anyone else goin'?"

"Yeah for sure," Kel slurred, his 5th double vodka and coke taking effect.

"Sound as a, sound as a... eh?"

" Pound?" Drew offered.

"What are you?! A f**king genius!?! I was about to say that idiot!" Kel always denied he was an aggressive drunk.

" Just saying mate. Calm down. What about you Whits?"

" Nah, b*llocks to it. Sorry Rod - I have a girlfriend at last - "

" Pìss off!?" James splurted out in a far too surprised fashion. Whitty was not er, not the ladies man. In fact everyone else assumed he was gay. " But you like Savage Garden? I don't understand?" James was one of those fellows who loved to stereotype.

"Honestly mate, you have a very weird view of the world." Whits replied. " I'm as straight as your nose." James responded by punching himself in the face. " Oh very funny. Seriously, now you gotta stop being so weird. As I was saying, she's called Kate and we met last week at the book signing for Will Young..." A corus of ever so mature laughter ensued - even though they tried not to - it was just too much effort. " Ah screw you guys! Changing the subject again - how you guys feeling about the football?"

Having straightened himself up again, Dick was the first to reply. " I'm pretty happy about it to be honest. I've amazingly managed to keep in shape, go to the gym for about 4 hours a day, 4 days a week - it's good fun. However the fry ups and kebabs at the weekend kinda offset it I guess. Still - I reckon I'll be ok once training is all up and running again. You Whits?"

" I'll be ready in time I think - got a fitness programme I'm going to try and stick to if I can - a few runs here and there, but thankfully I've not been one to completely bloat out - unlike certain others here." a knowing snigger was accompanied by all present finishing their current tipple of choice.

" MY ROUND!" shouted Kel. " I' owe you’s all one! Sho, whets et to be?!"

" I'd like a glass of shut-the-f*ck-up-Kel if you're offering. You got the last one, now stop swaying and sit down. I'm getting this one." Shaun interjected before Kel went overboard. " Now who's having what?"

"Double vo..vo.. yeah same again!" Kel mumbled. To be honest everyone was shocked by the way Kel was acting at the moment - it was not like him - and there were worries that other factors had been getting him down.

" Er, right. What else?"

"Stella pint mate" ( Dick )

"Mini Guiness for me - that's Tia Maria and Baileys ok? With ice obviously." ( Rod )

" Reef ta" ( Whits )

"Just a coke mate - I'm driving" ( Drew )

" PANSY" (Kel)

"JD and coke cheers. Double obviously." ( James )

" And you Jeff, what do you want?" Shaun asked of his mate, who was still recovering from a particularly evil night at Metros in Cardiff the night before, where double spirits and a mixer were 99p.

" Oh er, pint of orange juice cheers - and nothing else PLEASE! " he grinned pleadingly, well aware of how his mischievous pals acted on occasions.

" Alright, no probs - back in a few minutes."

Turning matters back to football once more, Dick was still trying to find out how everyone was doing preparing for the coming season. He was concerned the others were settling in too easily to the University lifestyle. Fun though it was, binge drinking and pizza wasn't ideal preparation - even for the Conference standard of football. Further conversation wasn't promising and privately he suspected half of them would quit to pursue more recreational activities. Kel and Whits were almost certain non starters, whilst Jeff was a probable goner as well. Still - maybe not eh? Dick was the one most serious about his football, and actually longed for the chance to create a proper professional career out of the game. Worcester was the starting ground for him - and he was determined not to let the chance go to waste.

[Brian of Nazareth]

Birmingham Airport

Owen and Sally back from their very enjoyable, and tiring honeymoon in Mauritius, were now waiting for a ride back outside their terminal.

" Well, that was a f f fiiine week Sal." Owen smiled seductively before briefly kissing his wife.

" Oh yes. Oh yes. Great weather, great food, and I guess the company wasn't so bad." winked Sal as she returned the kiss.

" Heh. Right, now it's brill to know that I can change the subject to football without fear of a sulk..."

" I was wondering when you were going to get around to that! You get the message about the players, Joanne and all that coming back?"

" Yeah - should be good fun! Though I must admit I'm interested to see what Aidan's been up to now! Some familiar faces amongst all the Uni kids will be most welcome - God having a bunch of drunks on the team is certainly one way of motivating me to find some more players!"

" Ah come on, they're not all like that - wait until the season starts before you judge them - Dick Holder is -" she paused glancing at Owen sniggering again, for the 12th time – " oh come on Owen - not the kids fault now is it? But anyway he's keen so are a few others, you shouldn't be so quick to judge and stereotype people you know."

" I guess - but even so I remember Uni - getting wasted is some kind of raison d'etre when you're that age for most of them, even those keen on sports"

"Yeah, but they're also broke, and you'll be giving them wages for playing football - they wouldn't be stupid enough to pass that up you know."

Owen’s phone starting ringing. The theme tune from A Few Dollars More blurting out in synthesised keyboard tones.

“Yeah Owen here, oh hi Dick!

“Uh huh. Right – Well I guess I’m not too surprised – still nice to see a few of you there…â€

“Yeah we should be good for players. Jeff has promised a bit of cash so shouldn’t have that situation from last time around.â€

“Well thanks for letting me know. Ok, see you Monday week then for training. Bye Dick.†Owen hung up with his lips slightly pursed as he glanced over to Sally.

“That was Dick Holder, Sal, it seems a few of the lads won’t be joining us. Of the Uni lot it’s merely going to be Rod, James, Drew and Dick, the others it seems have dropped out.â€

“Well, there you go, time to look out for more of the better players! See who you can pick up – hey, maybe even the old pros will come back to the club!â€

“Well you never know… I’ll put a word into the Evening News and see if any of them get the hint…â€

“Time to worry about it later… TAXI!â€

[Brian of Nazareth]

Benny Broadhurst got the call from Owen later that afternoon and furiously typed up the calling card. It was good to see Owen looking to restore the bridges with the former players who all left in a rage of a storm last year when Worcester first under went a tumultuous entrance into the Conference.

Not long after the article went out a couple of calls from out of work footballers were ringing up Owen and Jeff about a return to the club and after a few short term contracts were drawn up. The semi pros were back, and the club was looking upwards once more, and Owen was determined not to waste this chance.

It would be a little interesting not having the eccentric characters in for a change, given the dressing room frolics of having Aidan and the Jo’s in the dressing room, not to mention Steve. Former assistant Steve would be missed, but with his ex-wife there the memories wouldn’t die.

[Brian of Nazareth]

Pre-Season

A warm up tour in Northern Ireland had been arranged to give the lads a decent run out ahead of their second season in the Conference. In the week leading up to the trip there was time for a quick re-assessment of various players abilities.

For starters there was only one goalkeeper and that was only because Danny McDonnell , a 27 year old part time fork lift truck driver agreed to return to the club he walked out on a year ago. He was competent for the level, but with no competition at least one other goalkeeper will be needed.

Only Rod Davies and Dick Holder were the fullbacks who were able to play on the left hand side of the defence and whilst they had raw attributes had desire, they were young and certainly prone to getting caught out by stronger attackers. One experienced left back would be required in some form. On the right side James Taylor was certainly very capable, but his only out and out competitor Jon Holloway a 24 year old postman was a pile of doggy-doo. In the centre, the old hands of Martin Weird and Mark Tucker would add much needed experience to the backline. In support of them was 32-year old Chris Greenman who whilst able was the only alternative. There was Nathan Jukes as well but he’s 20 and pretty awful according to both Owen and Sally.

In midfield, Jo Murphy was the fired up midfield general who’s feminine touch bedazzled and bewildered the handful of fans who remembered her from last season. Also in the centre was 22 year old Carl Tranter a hard working passer of the ball, whilst aging hipster ( one hip replacement in the offing ) John Purdie added the extra attacking element. However at 34 he wasn’t one to last – and a groin strain hardly helped matters. Sadly he was out aged by Phil Stant a 38 year old toilet attendant who ‘doubled up’ as a striker, but acted in a more effective role as team mascot. Major additions needed here.

Up front the options were pretty poor too. Drew Bradman was fairly competent, though lacking in pace, whilst Darren Middleton ‘s better attributes failed to disguise a lack of economy in front of goal. Mark Heimgartner at 20 was an attacking winger who will hopefully never play for the club, whilst at 40 Paul Davies is just a tad on the old side. Mark Cotter is a 33 year old back up who’s head is the only valuable asset to him both professionally and personally no doubt. Ray Woods is 36 and rubbish.

[Brian of Nazareth]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">

Worcester Evening News

Friday 27.07.2001

Newitt Starts The Gell-ing Early

Benny Broadhurst

Despite the country experiencing something of a heat wave, there’s something in the air and it’s not mosquito’s. Owen Newitt’s latest effort to establish Worcester City as a credible Conference outfit has seen the additions start early.

They were skating on Telford’s thin ice until the momentous decision earlier in the year to fold the club, but now if anything they are a stronger outfit than the previous year with many of the regulars of yesteryear back in the side and training.

The first addition of the new regime, is, unsurprisingly, a loan signing, but Richard Gell of non league Aldershot will add vital attacking options in the centre of the park. The initial deal will see the player join until mid November, with a view to an extension should the move work out.

He’s 25 years old and a late starter to the game, having only given up an apprenticeship at a glass factory last year to focus more fully on football. His pace appears to be his biggest asset on first showing at the clubs training ground. He is certainly not going to be the last addition as Newitt alluded to at the John Lennon airport.

“ He looks a good lad so far, and hopefully he can become an important part of our side but we need loads of new faces if we’re to compete this season. We’ve either got part time University kids or pensioners. There aren’t many in between, we need some folk with experience, but also the legs to last the whole 90. We’ll be making enquiries soon enough. Sally is working in a scouting capacity now and along with Colin ‘ The Huntsman’ Hunter and Gary Wood the right players should find their way to St. George’s soon enough.â€

</div></BLOCKQUOTE>

[Brian of Nazareth]

Northern Ireland Tour

Owen and Sal were kept exceptionally busy almost as soon as they touched down in Belfast. The three game warm up tour was the focus, but a call from The Huntsman shortly before the first match against Glentoran brought about an unexpected surprise.

‘Hey Col, what’s the news?’

‘ Er got a gem for you mate. Can fill in centre defence and centre mid…’

‘ Excellent, what’s the name and who’s he playing for?’

‘ Matthew Rose, currently at QPR, but he’s a bit unsettled.’

‘ Oh for chrissake Col! He’s never going to join us! Division 2 to Conference are you mad?’

‘He’s been told he’s not in the chiefs plans. He’s not the most ambitious type – all he wants is first team football. I mean we may have to insert a release fee in but he’s worth a shout.’

‘ Hmm ok, I’ll trust your judgement. Think I’ve seen him on the telly before actually, right we’ll have a word with Jeff and we’ll see what we can do.’

Owen though sceptical was quietly enjoying the prospect of bringing in Division 2 standard players however. He had even more reason to do so after the 2-1 loss to Glentoran on the Saturday. Stephen Carson had given the hosts a first half lead, but the attacking options proved more satisfying as Richard Gell’s first contribution was to beat his man for pace and slide the ball across in for Drew Bradman to bundle into the net. In a scrappy affair though, Garry Haylock took advantage of a lack of any positional sense to head in unmarked with ten minutes to go.

[Brian of Nazareth]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">

29.07.01

A Rose-y Future For Worcester

B. Broadhurst

Owen Newitt pulled off something of a transfer coup at St. Georges Lane as QPR defender Matthew Rose was brought in for a hefty 120k. Taking up almost half of Jeff Daniel’s generous budget for Worcester, the player with over 106 games of league experience, including a few games at the mighty Arsenal, Owen managed to entice the 25 year old with a high wage packet and a release clause, but as both parties admitted it was a great move all round.

“ I just want football frankly, and although it’s a step down for me, it gives me the consistency I need and hopefully I can help Worcester enjoy a good season, play regular football and perhaps earn myself a move up the table.†Said the player, and whilst that might not sound loyal, his manager is in complete agreement.

“ He’s a damn good player and too good for this level but we’ve been fortunate enough to convince him to join us. If he earns the right to move back up the ladder that’s great for him and great for us as it’ll have meant we’ve enjoyed a good season. I’m looking forward to working with him this season.â€

Rose will likely start the clubs next fixture at Ballymena United on Monday night.

</div></BLOCKQUOTE>

That game against Ballymena did indeed prove a more positive affair for Owen and Worcester – a solid game for Matt at the back helped by an assured display from Dick and Tucker kept a clean sheet, whilst at the other end goals for the excitable Darren Middleton and the wizened head of mark Cotter saw the first win of the tour. Carl Tranter’s injury though would keep him out of the final match with Cliftonville . It also saw another loan signing – from Bury – Greek defender Giorgios Siros make his first start. Another 25 year old, he was really just back up at present until a more permanent better alternative could be found.

The final match proved the most exciting, and an important one for Owen. He could finally dispense with Ray Woods after the geriatric went off injured with a 4 month lay off, effectively ending his career with Worcester. Why had he bothered signing back on? Perhaps he’d mistaken it for the dole queue. That seemed the most likely explanation. As for the match, it finished 4-2 but all the entertainment arrived in the second half. Heimgartner was slowly changing Owen’s mind with a decent strike in the first half, but after the break and a couple of changes, the host hit back with two quick goals before a flurry of 3 goals in the final quarter won it. Darren Middleton converted an Ellis cross, before a brace from Drew Bradman ensured the tour ended on a high. A nice winning note, and a dinner at a hotel with Sally allowed Owen the chance to get a brief moment away from the lads for a change.

[Brian of Nazareth]

Worcester Training Ground

Owen, Sally and Jeff were discussing future transfer targets around a table of coffee, and toasted cheese and Worcestershire sauce. Mmmm.

“Well Owen if you want more players I can give you some money but we’ve got to factor in wages.â€

“ I know, I want to look at the loan market but we’ve already got two. What was Gell valued at then?â€

“He’s only 4k as far as I can remember. That’s not a problem if you want. Frees up a loan spot too.â€

“4K!? Sign him up! He’s a decent player. Might try the old tried and tested badgering of Premiership clubs for loans as well…â€

“ Hang on Owen, I’ve seen a good few players available with a bit of luck. I can find more out about them, like Colin and Gary have been doing too…â€

“That’s true Sal. Anyway I’ve sent those two up to Scotland as there’s a few players I want to check out – we really need another goalkeeper!â€

“What about Joe Parks? Fancy giving him a bell again?â€

“Can’t sadly. He’s committed to his work at the station for now, plus I really don’t think he’s been keeping himself fit either…â€

“And you’ve got my money Owen. So don’t bother with all those mates of yours unless they really are worth it! What I want to know is are these oldies going to be worth it? Paul seems a good head…â€

“Yes, he’s working in an assistant role at the moment. He’s 40 he’s not playing but he does know his stuff so I’m very happy with him at the moment. Phil Stant… well he’ll be a suitable back up, good for the kids I suppose, but no. Hardly a future there at 38. Jon Purdie and Ray Woods are just crap full stop. They aren’t in my plans at all.â€

“Well I’ve got their contracts here Owen. It’ll cost around 9k to get Jon off the books right now and a similar amount for Ray…?â€

“Ah don’t bother until I’ve got the new faces in, you never know what’s going to show up. And we’ve already got a few scouts sniffing around our own players. Dick and Drew have had a few enquiries from Sheffield United and Villarreal so I’ve told them to sod off. Might be worth offering them longer contracts Jeff.. we need them. They’re really good lads those two. Dick’s really got an eye for it.â€

“ Right ok Owen – damn this is good toast! – Pass me the sauce will ya?â€

“Cheers! Right I’ll get the kid at the Evening News – Benny – to try and hush that up. He’ll be following us against Scunthorpe no doubt. Oh – yeah we’ve got a friendly this Friday against them. Sorry forgot to mention it!â€

“What!? That’s two days away!â€

“Yeah, my bad. Sorry. It’s at home though so no travelling involved!â€

“Fine. Right ok, well I’m going to head off and prepare for that. Get the lads in tomorrow, and see if I can make any headway with new players… Sal, can you try and sweeten up some Premiership coaches? Cheers dear. You’re cooking tonight!â€

“Bastard.â€

“Bye!â€

[Brian of Nazareth]

The Talbot

‘ So then lads, down to four of us then! Wooo, anyone else going to drop out or DIEEEEE ahaha!’

‘Rod, you can be very weird you know that?â€

“Ah just joking. Going to be fun this year, I think, might have a slightly more professional touch to it for a change!â€

“Yeah good point, I’m looking forward to that, but it’ll be a shame to lose the insanity of Aidan and co. And you remember Lee’s stupidity? Such wonderful naïve idiocy.â€

“Don’t be daft Drew it’ll be fine. We can always inject our own brand of ridiculous humour, what with yours and Rods penchant for quoting Spaced and Futurama ad infinitem.â€

“Miserable bugger Dick! Still I hear Joanne should still be around – she’s a nice festy little thing! Could be fun…â€

“No Drew. No. After her fling with Steve, I doubt she’ll be interested in you, unless you’re a closet millionaire.â€

“I could be.â€

“Are you?â€

“Maybe!â€

“Liar.â€

“Cynic. Now it’s your round, come on beers all round I think?â€

“Yeah I’ll go with that. So who’s going along with this Jeff Daniels being a squeaky clean character?â€

“Er no reason to suspect otherwise James? What’s got your goat?â€

“Oh nothing, but anyone related to a magician has to be considered a risk.â€

“Oh what magnificent evidence of trickery, and hey he’s paying my fees for Uni so see if I care a jot!â€

“Still going to stick with Uni Rod?â€

‘Yeah, why not? I like football but I’m hardly going to be doing it forever? Might as well finish the degree.â€

Dick’s phone starts ringing, a bog standard Sony Erikkson ring tone

“ Ah hey Owen, what’s the call?â€

“ Tomorrow night?? Ah bloody hell! So 10 am tomorrow? Right fair enough. Ok cheers boss.â€

phone switched off and returned to jacket pocket.

“ Right, last drink guys – we’re playing tomorrow night!â€

“Ah bloody hell. Who is it?â€

“Scunthorpe, Drew, so a Division 3 side, it’s going to be interesting.â€

“Christ! Should be fun, get to see how we’ll cope this season but eh with that Matty Rose we stand every chance!â€

“Yeah, how the f*ck did we get him to join us?â€

“ That’s what I was talking about see?†James referring back to his questioning of Jeff’s position.

“Bah, until anything concrete comes up will you give it a rest you conspiratorial swine?†Dick added, stemming the conversation there and then as Rod got up to steal a fortune from the Mousetrap machine.

In a corner of the room Benny couldn’t help but overhear their conversation. He often found himself drinking in the same venues as the younger lads in the side, but suddenly a quip about Paul Daniels brought him back thinking towards that scrap of paper he’d seen in the office a while back. It wasn’t a direct link but it had set him on a differing train of thought for a moment, before returning to tuck into a good old surf n turf

[Brian of Nazareth]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">

Worcester Evening News

Saturday 4th August

Worcester Win Whets Appetite For Season

B. Broadhurst

Clearly a positive message had been sent around the town in the past few days as a staggering 4278 turned up to support the side in a warm up match, which even taking into account the away following is a spectacular achievement. Perhaps the talk of Jeff Daniels’ business success of late has fuelled speculation of investment in the club, or perhaps with the onset of the City Festival approaching people were merely in high spirits and taking in a match seemed an appropriate measure on this wonderfully warm evening.

The burger vans were kept busy whilst The Shed was packed to the rafters with vibrant singing. Whatever the reason for this extraordinary turnaround, they were certainly rewarded by a boisterous display of energy purpose and vigour. From the start you could sense the raw desire by the young players to take the spirit of last season further and with hopes of a more successful season head, they dispatched Scunthorpe with ease.

The scoring rather fortuitously though opened against the run of play on 24 minutes when Kim Grant dispossessed Siros in defence and went on to cross for Jim Cotteril to head past McDonnell but the response was swift to the delight to the sizeable crowd. Andy Ellis sent Jo Murphy down the left flank and his cross was steered into the net at the near post by the ever alert Bradman.

The young forward’s performances so far have been a revelation to manager Newitt who confessed he didn’t know what to expect from the returning Uni students. “ Frankly the ability to last 90 minutes without wheezing surpassed any expectations I had for them, but they’ve all done well but of course Drew up front is taking the credit being in top scoring form.â€

It was a valid point as throughout the game a side which was still without the injured Davies and Tranter defended very well. Matthew Rose didn’t even start but when he did he received a rapturous welcome from the home faithful as he took a slot in the centre of the park. It was a position he clearly seemed equally at home in as in the backline, and after a period of bossing the midfield alongside the effeminate Murphy a breakthrough goal arrived in the final quarter after good work from Heimgartner and Cotter. The young Dutch winger swung in a cross for Cotter to head in. His effort was blocked by the rebound was swept in firmly by Rose from 18 yards and it was no more than Worcester deserved.

In the closing moments the score line suddenly reflected the match more accurately when Heimgartner’s cross into Mark Cotter was converted superbly. The win sets the side up well for the seasons opener against Dagenham and Redbridge on the 18th August. Tickets and season tickets are of course still available from the club shop, which is also displaying the new strip sponsored by Paul Martin's Booze Cruise Company.

</div></BLOCKQUOTE>

[Brian of Nazareth]

It had been a good match from Owen and Sally’s point of view and encouraging for the season ahead. The side were clearly blessed with a little more than just determination in the squad as the finishing displayed, and Mark Cotter, although 33 was clearly a handful in defence. Strong signs from Heimgartner and Greenman, players previously dismissed as useless gave further room for encouragement, but the talking point still seemed to be the size of the crowd. Why on earth did a massive 4000 plus crowd turn up for a mere friendly?

“ Owen, does it matter? Perhaps the city has really taken to football after the resurgence of both the cricket and rugby sides too! It was a popular season last year and at Conference level the locals are always going to be drawn in… plus it’s the festival in the city at the moment probably plenty of one-timers in there.â€

“Yeah I know Sal. It’s great news really, but last year our average was still under 2000, even when we thrashed Forest Green and had a few home games there after it never really broached more than 2500. I don’t know. There’s just something about Jeff that just doesn’t sit comfortably with me at the moment. â€

“ Well you’re the manager – it’s not your job to work out the whys and whats at the moment. Concentrate on the football and the players. Oh and Col wants a word with you on that matter.â€

“Really? Right ok. How’s your search going?â€

“Not too bad, bit hard to find players who will desperately improve us. Own I really think it might be worth making a decision on Sirios. Would give us another loan option.â€

“Yeah, I know but I may sign up if he’s good enough. Anyway we really need another goalkeeper frankly. I know Joe’s still never going to come back, and we need another otherwise we are absolutely buggered. A left winger too, as Andy E won’t last. We got scorers so that’s always handy though. Hmm.â€

“ We’ll be fine for Dagenham anyway. You hear about Aidan though?â€

“No what’s the idiot done now?â€

“He wants to patent oxygen, and lease it out on demand.â€

“ Ha! Still crazy! It’ll be different without him in the dressing room!â€

“Well, I was speaking to him the other day as he was in town… he was intrigued by the side forming up again… and you remember his thing for Joanne? I get a feeling he may be hanging around in the near future…â€

“Ah. Well I’m going to call The Huntsman and see what’s up. Anyway see you for pasta later on.â€

“Fine enough. Later.†Sal left blowing a kiss in Owens direction. For Owen a frustrating day with regards a few transfer targets was worsened by the contents of Col’s news. Gillingham had contacted him about offering him a contract with them and it was clearly an opportunity he couldn’t turn down. With one fewer scout, trying to turn up interested parties for the club suddenly got a damn sight worse as he didn’t want to be spending the clubs money just yet on hiring a new man for the job.

[Brian of Nazareth]

The Season Begins

After having enjoyed watching Liverpool narrowly overcome Manchester United in the Charity Shield down The Talbot with quite a few of the other lads, Owen was confident of starting the season well, especially with the Scunthorpe performance still in the mind. Dagenham & Redbridge were the first opponents and the team bus journey was filled with confidence. There were even jokes about using Joanne’s assets to distract their defence, though swiftly rebuffed by a proud Dick who had certainly developed something of an eye for the tenacious and psychotic midfielder. However, the match itself proved a definite anti climax despite the sides best efforts. An early goal from Danny Hill gave the hosts the lead, and thereafter Worcester were frustrated at getting through to goal. Dick was trying to lead the side well, his natural captain instincts weren’t lost on Owen and Sal, but the side were left down a bit by wayward shooting. Darren Middleton hit over whilst a tempestuous Joanne struggled to contain anger and was lucky to avoid a card after a poor challenge late on. The game was sealed late on when former Chelsea striker Mark Stein popped up to head in a late goal, giving McDonnell no chance at all.

For Owen it was frustrating, for Benny the match report was similar, and for the players it became a wake up call. Of course for such a makeshift side a 2-0 loss is not the end of the world, but ambitions were swiftly re-assessed. At the Talbot the drinks were drunk sensibly for a change. That was until Aidan popped in to say hello, and he’d brought Kel with him.

“ Wahey! Long time no see! I ran into Kellers here and he said you guys might be here! Right I insist! Seeing as I’m about to take control over your oxygen I’ll get the drinks in first! Mini Guinness’ all round? Well you’re drinking it anyway ha-ha!â€

Dick and Drew sighed. The nutter was back. Whilst it had been fun last year, he was just too much sometimes, even if the lads’ ability to trip over his legs on the massive two metre walk from table to bar raised a smile. What a plank. James and Rod were pretending they were pool sharks, something they’d been doing for a good 20 minutes now and it was still the first game.

“ So you lost eh?†Kel really knew how to capture the mood.

“ Yeah and we’ve lost in the past before so hardly anything new. Still the gaffer is bringing in some new players so hopefully tomorrow night we’ll put it right at home. You going to be there?†Dick inquired.

“ Maybe! What’s the beer like there?â€

“Is that all you think about Kel? Damn you have decent ability, why do you have to keep drinking it all away!†The social habits of the others had always infuriated the defender, who felt any sportsman who didn’t at least try and see how good they were was wasting a gift.

“Oi, Mr boring, I just don’t have the aptitude for it! Hell you know I’d pìss you off even more if I actually tried committing myself to that again! I just want to do as much as I can, have as much fun and not be tied down! But yeah I’ll be there tomorrow night anyway I guess. Aidan seems to be showing some weird interest again so might as well.â€

“ That’s only due to Joanne. Fit she maybe, but man that would be a frightening combination! She hated him last year. It’s tough enough hiding her sex from the fans as it is without having a mentalist addicted to her every movement as well.†Drew pointed out.

“ Yes, but even so when he was on form on the pitch he was damn good!â€

“But also dangerous Kel! Remember when he kicked that guy in the face because he took Jo from behind? Ok, I know how that sounded but you know what I meant. He’s a complete liability and look! He’s just fallen over again!â€

‘ But it’s so funny!â€

“Yeah but we’re about more than just a comedy outfit now Kel, we’re serious!†Dick interjected this time. “ Look I think I even spotted that former Rangers striker Marco Negri around the ground..â€

“ Christ alive, he can’t be coming?!†It was Drew who was shocked this time. As it was, Owen had made contact, and a contract was being drawn up as they spoke – but only on a month to month basis. The deal went through after the first game at home to Stalybridge on the Tuesday night.

[Brian of Nazareth]

The team had seen a change in tactics as Rose was switched into a midfield role alongside Jo Murphy whilst Siros and Tucker took the centre half slots, whilst Rod was pushed up into the left wing role, and Dick fell back into the left back slot. In front of another strong crowd of close to 5000 people the side did indeed pick up.

However, the first half seemed to be going the way of the opening game and Dominic Crookes handed the visitors a lead midway through it when he broke free from Tucker in the area to shoot in from 12 yards. In the second 45 though, it was a different story and the rewards were there for a hungry Worcester side – with the inspiration coming from new boy Richard Gell as two goals in 4 minutes switched the game around. The first came from a scramble in the area following a corner, whilst the second involved interlinking play between Rose and Davies with the latter feeding in a left wing cross right onto the head of Gell and the lead was deservedly taken. It could have been more and perhaps should have been had Drew not skewed a shot well wide, an effort which justifiably received the post match jibes, but thankfully the final whistle blew and the first 3 points were up on the scoreboard to the relief of Owen.

The following day it was nice to see the squad’s attacking strength boosted by Negri’s arrival, the 31 year old would add some guaranteed goals to the side even if it would only be short term, but it was bettered after a call from another contact recently, Jean-Paul Leonard, and Col’s final parting gift before heading off. The agent of French forward Kaba Diawara had called back to say his client was interested on a short term deal to get his match fitness up to speed. Again it was month to month deal, but at 25 there was every chance for the former West Ham, Blackburn and Liverpool player could rediscover the talent that had attracted such high profile interest in the past.

Ahead of all that though was the progress on a new goalkeeper search, a priority of Owens’ for quite some time and he finally struck gold when Sal reported back on Ipswich veteran Mike Salmon . The 37 year was in search of regular football and with his back catalogue in league football it was a chance he didn’t want to turn down. Convincing Jeff Daniels this old pro was the way forward took a little time, especially after Owen had blanched at the idea of trying to keep the older outfield pro’s, or semi pro’s, but frankly given the alternatives, it wasn’t too hard. Sadly Mike couldn’t join in time for the Yeovil match but the key agreement had been reached.

Hoping to take momentum into the televised clash at Huish Park, the only changes were upfront where the two new talents were given a first chance to prove themselves. Of course with little training and a lack of fitness, they made a slow start initially as the defence were kept busiest early on. Dick Holder kept the side together early on, but halfway through Joanne seemed to be struggling with her stamina, and after receiving a knock to her backside, lost her footing allowing the Yeovil attack through Andy Lindegaard to put the hosts into the lead. It did at least inspire the sleepy players to wake up and fight back and the new strikers displayed their quality creating several chances for themselves, but not quite putting it far enough out of reach of goalkeeper Jon Sheffield. With Kaba tiring in the second half, Micky Cotter was brought on along with Drew in the second half, but the difference in quality showed and chances were frustratingly restricted to two long range efforts from Richard Gell but neither could find the target, and despite putting in a much improved second half effort, the game ended in a 1-0 loss.

--

“ Dammit Sal, is anyone being at all helpful?â€

“Not at the moment hon, but look on the bright side, Mike’s joined and his experience is already being enjoyed in training.â€

“ Yeah I know. I suppose that was the most important part of it, but we still need more players!â€

“ Well I figure we’re just going to have to work with who we have and get into a position where we can attract other players!â€

“Yeah, I suppose. Anyway, how’s Jo feeling? She looked hurt today.â€

“Ah, just period pains, nothing to worry about Owen. Oh, there’s one fellow I thought you want to check out, Andrew Vickers at Dagenham, he’s an experienced defender, cheap and not in the clubs plans at the moment.â€

“Reckon he’ll improve our squad?â€

“Well lets see, we can sign him for 6k, and our current left back, Rod, keeps getting injured. We have little alternatives in that case. Dick can play across the back 4 but we need someone with ability. At the price offered it’s hard to go wrong.â€

“Often a reason they’re so cheap, Sal…â€

“Gell was only 4k…â€

“Fine – I’ll call up Jeff and see what we can do about that.â€

[Brian of Nazareth]

With another midweek game there was little time for significant transfer activity aside from receiving a series of rejections. It was amazing how varied the form could be. Email, post, fax, phone call and even in person, where a very robust, ‘sod off and hands away’ warning told Owen all he needed to know. For the second home match against Leigh RMI and final match of the month he kept faith with most of the side although there was a clear debut slot for Mike Salmon in goal. Hopes of recording a win appeared dashed within 5 minutes after a terrible accident caused both Rod Davies and Chris Tucker to be removed from the pitch injured. Aidan from the stands had managed to misdirect throwing a metal pipe in the direction of the shed roof, and it smacked Rod Square on the forehead, taking him out of the game whilst, Chris fell foul to the resulting melee, as a paramedic carrying Rod off the pitch struck him on the side with a pre-prepared insulin syringe and the heavy end of the rod holding the stretcher up. A comedy of errors, then, as Chris Greenman came on for Davies – with Holder then switching roles, whilst Carl Tranter came on for Tucker and he switched roles with Matty Rose who was pulled back into defence. Unsurprisingly an unsettled team took time to get going and plenty of the first period was spent familiarising themselves with their positions and not giving the ball away. Thankfully though, when the first chance arrived moments before half time it wasn’t wasted, and wasn’t too unfair either on a poor Leigh side. A leg trip by Peter Connelly on Drew Bradman provided a free kick just outside the area. As had been discovered in training, Carl Tranter had a decent boot on him when it came to set pieces and he fancied his chances. A well struck effort was parried by Mark Westhead, and on hand to slide in was the delectable Joanne, a much happier player out there this evening. The momentum carried itself forward into the second half, and after an encouraging half time talk from Owen, the side took advantage of it to the delight of the crowd, with the battling Rose right behind it, as he started the move down the right allowing James Taylor to cross in for Marco Negri to score his first goal for the club. At 2-0 the club were cruising – until the visitors struck back through Keith Evans – the debutant for the visitors fastest to react against the debutant for the hosts and a nervy finish ensued. Mercifully there were no more goals and it was two home wins out of two to the season to Owen’s satisfaction.

[Brian of Nazareth]

BBC Radio Hereford & Worcester August Review Read By Aidan and Kel

“Good morning folks! It’s Kel here, with Aidan and from now until May we’ll be holding monthly bite size round of Worcester’s results!â€

“ Well looky here Kel! What’s this I see ? A 2-0 defeat to Dagenham? â€

“ My God that’s just rubbish! But wait! Just a few days later they defeated Stalybridge Celtic 2-1! â€

“ Indeed they did and will you look at the scorer? Really think he’s Gell-ing with his team mates already!â€

“ But not so it seems at Yeovil! â€

“ No! They lost 1-0 after the new guy strikers were as stable and as likely to score as I am to string a coherent sentence! Hey I did it!â€

“ Yeah well done! That must mean… yes! Marco Negri scored in the 2-1 home win over Leigh RMI in midweek a few games later!â€

“ And he wasn’t the only scorer a certain Joanne Murphy got the first one there!â€

“ God she’s sexy with that strap across her chest and her pulled back hair and lack of make up!â€

“God you’re weird Aidan! Right that’s August wrapped up! See you next month!â€

[Brian of Nazareth]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">

Worcester Evening News

Sunday 2nd September 2001

Witless Worcester Dashed By Dover

Benny Broadhurst

A pattern of away defeats followed by home victories will lead Owen to hoping success arrives when Doncaster visit on Monday after the run continued with a very poor 3-1 defeat at Dover to kick off the new month.

Despite playing more like their talents can suggest in the second half, the game was over in the first period, and possibly even the 3rd minute when the hosts struck through midfielder Niall Inman. It was weak goal to giveaway and adds further strength to claims that Owen Newitt needs to strengthen the side.

It was 2-0 after only ten minutes and that seemed to kill the spirit according to the gaffer. “ It was a poor defensive display when you bear in mind what we are capable of, but I think after the injuries in midweek it only serves to highlight the fragility in our squad. We need more players and we’ll of course be looking to find them as soon as possible.â€

It was his most recent addition Mike Salmon who will want to banish this game from memory after both goals from forward Tommy Tyne could perhaps have been prevented, but still it was no more than Dover deserved. There had clearly been a rollicking at half time, though as Worcester picked up some second half pride.

This is where the fans will feel more positive about their sides chances as another new signing, Matt Rose showed his class and carried his side forward from the back. His goal on 61 minutes certainly created a competitive atmosphere in the closing stages, and pressure duly arrived from all the forwards, but there was to be no further consolation, even when sub Diawara was sent through on goal by Drew Bradman, the Frenchman could only scuff a tame shot into the goalkeepers hands.

For Worcester and Newitt though there can be some hope though as the strength of the squad has been lifted by the arrival of Dagenham defender, 29 year old Adam Vickers who will certainly add some experience to the backline. The deal for the player capable of playing both at left and centre back, will be confirmed tomorrow morning, but still in time for the holiday clash with Doncaster.

“ Adam is a vital addition, and hopefully there can be one or two others soon, both in terms of midfield presence and at the back but we’ll have to wait and see what turns up.†Owen said before reminded fans once more of the game tomorrow afternoon. That kicks off at 2pm and tickets are still available.

</div></BLOCKQUOTE>

[Brian of Nazareth]

For Owen the game wasn’t as bad as it could have been, given the performance in the second half, and with Adam arriving hope was certainly on the up. As he had also mentioned to Sally at breakfast, there would be new scouting impetus as ironically, a journey up to Scotland from Gary Wood conjured up two new scouts, for relatively low costs, even if Jeff wasn’t too keen on paying the compensation. John Caldwell arrived from Maud and Brian Clark arrived from Armadale Thistle.

Choosing the side for the visit of Doncaster proved a little problematic. He’d also tweaked the formation a bit focussing the players on a more central route to goal, aiming to play through the middle with a solid base, aided by the full backs where necessary. Vickers took up a debut spot on the left flank in place of Davies, whilst Chris Greenman was brought up to a first start of the season. Rose played a link role between defence and midfield, utilising all his attributes to the max, whilst Andy Ellis came in for a tired Mark Heimgartner. The first check point for this game was to erase the Dover debacle in terms of defending and that certainly seemed to past the test in the first twenty minutes as the visitors were shut down effectively. Dick and Siros were the holding pair, whilst Mike in goal was far more assured, which offered confidence to the full backs to get forward more – a policy which paid off in the 24th minute as Negri displayed his class once again. Andy Ellis kept possession well on the left flank, played Diawara inside their fullback before the Frenchman dinked the ball into the back post for the Italian to head in. The striker’s worth has been increasing game by game and Owen was desperate to try and sort out a more permanent contract. In the rest of the half, Worcester fought with spirit, although Joanne went overboard after exchanging some fiery words, and picked up a yellow after calling the ref : ‘ a vindictive bald headed c*nt, whose anger was no doubt fuelled by the frustration of having a small penis.’ A fact she duly tested with a firm grip. Sally smiled secretly, whilst Owen was somewhat amazed it was merely a yellow card.

It could have been down to the fact the referee was a certain William Hill, so all controversial incidents were treated with a fair degree of suspicion. The rest of the match showed even more promise, Richard Gell and Kaba Diawara were displaying fine ranges of passing and were it not for a lack of reading the intentions of others, the score could have been extended. However, any win is welcome and the home and away pattern continued. Still, 3 wins out of 6 is a decent enough start for a current set of players whose first concern could quite rightly be argued to avoid relegation.

Of course as was the way with the running of a football club, as soon as the side appears to become settled, another issue crops up.

“ Hi Jeff, you wanted a word? â€

“Yeah sit down, Owen. Just a couple of titbits. Swansea have made a bid to Bury regarding Siros, they offered 30k. His agent has told me he wants a permanent contract at 25 so if it’s accepted, they’ll consider it. What do you want to do?â€

“Match the offer.†Owen replied in an instant. His side simply could not afford to lose men in that position. “ He’s started assuredly for us and we know he’s capable of performing.â€

“ Ok, fine, that’s a quick decision. Next up, game on Saturday is another TV game on Sky so lunchtime kick off ok?â€

“Another one?! Two games already? So we’re off to Stevenage. That’s an early start Jeff…â€

“Yeah I know, but I can’t afford to put the side up for a night beforehand ok?â€

“What about the TV money?†[/i] Jeff paused a while, his hands clasped a she considered the reply.

“That money has er been set aside for other reasons. Beneficial reasons clearly.â€

“For the club?†The words slipped out a little too quickly for Owen. “ Sorry, Jeff didn’t mean to come across like that.â€

“You have nothing to be concerned about on that front Owen. But another word on scouts. The new guys have arrived ok. Where do you want them to go?â€

“I’ll get them going round the country, Jeff I’ll speak to them.â€

“Ok, and er one more thing. It seems Jo Murphy has been attracting attention lately…†Damn, thought Owen, she’d been rumbled. “ scouts from division 2 are likely to be down so just thought I’d let you know.â€

[Brian of Nazareth]

By the time Saturday came, there was better news for Owen as Rod returned from injury, whilst another potential defender was suggested from Colin, who could at least be a back up in his mind, should Siros leave. Away to Stevenage there was a clear desire amongst all the players to improve their away form. It may have taken Drew to playing load metal music on the bus up to keep people awake, but in the dressing room the side were focussed, leaving it to the sound of ‘Don’t Stop Me Now’ and that pumped up feeling was instilled in the players as they attacked fervently in the opening exchanges, deservedly taking the lead in the 8th minute. Jo Murphy took the ball in midfield, carrying the ball forward before playing in Darren Middleton down the right side of the penalty area. The forward held the ball up before pulling back for Negri to fire into the roof of the net. The on form striker was doing everything possible to endear himself to the fans, and Owen really hoped his agent would get back to him about discussing a new contract. The goal boosted Worcester and further attacks should have led to a second goal. Instead there were merely yellow cards for both Dick and James as the defenders struggled to cope with the pace of the hosts attackers whenever they countered. At half time, Owen was looking for his side to push on and put the game out of sight, but when Drew missed a golden chance to score his first of the season right after the break the uneasy feeling in Owen’s stomach was ‘settled’ when Stevenage broke down the right leaving Taylor flatfooted to square the game up. The frustration only grew throughout the game as it became ever more apparent that would be the hosts only shot on goal, whilst Worcester fervently tried different routes to goal, and Middleton was exceptional in his effort, but sadly there would be no end result as a combination of fine keeping and wasteful shooting meant a draw had to be settled for.

When Owen considered it, ‘settling’ for a draw away to a side no doubt keen to be pushing for promotion themselves was probably a clear sign of the clubs own prospect for the season. It must have been felt by the players too, as Jo herself rejected the notion of moving to Walsall who had placed a bid in for her the day after the match. Furthermore, Siros was to join permanently by Tuesday, after snubbing a move to league side Swansea.

Crown and Sands

“ So Sal, how’s the kangaroo steak?â€

“Not bad, could be better Owen. What about the swordfish – that going down well for you?â€

“Aye, certainly helped by this red wine, whatever it is – Poland’s finest I see! Hmm, yeah we’re not going cheap on this are we?â€

“Oh shut up Owen! It’s a nice meal enjoy it for fecks sake! Look forward to the Nuneaton game! Derby of sorts for the players!â€

“Yep, yeah. Listen can we not talk about footy tonight? I’ll be focussed tomorrow, but I seem to have had messages flying out of my arse lately. Plus Nathan’s dad threatened to knock me out if I didn’t play him…â€

“but he’s crap?â€

“Yeah I told him that. Didn’t seem to calm him down strangely enough. Jon Purdie’s now fit and seems to think I might pick him one day, but I do actually want my side to win…â€

“Ah, just be upfront though. Could afford to release them…â€

“Yeah, but I’d rather not, if we get injuries we’ll still be short, and I’d rather not keep pulling random kids off the street to play the reserve matches… hell I even asked Lee to step in for one of them.. pity he couldn’t have made it though – would have been a good laugh.â€

‘Ah quit fretting. So er what do you want to talk about then?â€

“Hah, well I don’t know I’m a bit obsessed with footy!â€

“And I love you for it! Anyway, look I was going to tell you closer to the time but I got us a pair of tickets for Alice Cooper at the NIA next month…â€

“ Legend!†Owen jumped out of his chair with excitement. For the first time in a while he was able to get excited about something non-football related and it certainly made him feel better as he immediately reached for another glass of Polands’ number one.

“ Ah cheers hun, that’s great news! When is it exactly?â€

“Friday 19th October, doors open at 7 so plenty of time I think…â€

“Fantastic! Ok, I’ll toast to that… to Alice!â€

[Flying_Fin]

An enjoyable read, and I'm looking forward for the rest

KUTGW!

[Brian of Nazareth]

The match with Nuneaton was one Owen really believed his side could win. The new signings were improving with match fitness, and on the eve of the match he received a massive boost as Marco’s agent confirmed the player would sign a permanent contract offer until the summer of 2004. It was the kind of lift that can affect the whole club, and it seemed to show in the atmosphere even before kick off. The fans knew about it and another huge crowd showed their vociferous appreciation for the player. In turn, Marco produced a dazzling display as Owen enjoyed witnessing his side’s best performance of the season by a good distance. It wasn’t a game littered with chances, but Worcester played with controlled passing and at a high enough tempo that the visitors really struggled to make any headway in the game – and by the time they did it was far too late. Ten minutes had passed when Dick Holder burst down the right wing and sent in a zipping cross. Terry Angus tried to steer it out for a thrown in but it was intercepted by Kaba Diawara . The player burst inside the area, and a sharp shot flew into the top corner of the net to hand the hosts an early lead. It was doubled within 5 minutes as a hungry Worcester side tore open from the back. Adam Vickers had the ball in his own area when he passed down the left wing for Davies, who controlled it and then quickly played it across to Dick Holder in the central midfield area. After taking it past two players he then reverse dinked a cross to the left side of the penalty area where Negri masterfully controlled and fired into the net in a split second. It was an excellent goal, and set the tone for the rest of the half. Worcester, even when pressed kept the ball superbly well, only allowing a few ambitious long range efforts to not even come close to testing Mike Salmon in net. Just after the half hour mark the match-killing goal arrived and this time Negri turned provider. With two Nuneaton players picking up yellow cards for fighting each other, Davies took a quick free kick just inside the visitors half, and passed it straight to Siros. The Greek centre half displayed composure to weigh up the options first before passing smartly to Negri on the edge of the area. With his back to goal, the Italian softly pushed the ball back out past the ‘D’ where Mark Heimgartner was waiting to fire in a splendid first time shot. The Dutch winger had impressed since a dismal showing in pre-season, and had easily earned praise from his manager in the press before, and would do again after that strike. At 3-0 the game was over. An irritating lack of focus in the second half allowed Nuneaton a consolation they didn’t really deserve, but despite that blemish, an excellent victory had kept up the side’s very respectable start to the season.

Marco’s performances had electrified the locals’ interest in football now, and for Benny, writing articles couldn’t have been much easier. Promoting the sides chances proved popular, and even managed mentions on the front page on particularly dry days for actual news. He was still intrigued by the fact that the club had suddenly earned the right to play on Sky so many Saturdays in a row and indeed the following match away to table toppers Farnborough was another 1.30 kick off. Benny had only met owner Jeff Daniels once before, but there was something that just struck him as odd since his arrival. The massive crowds, the sudden influx of money that had helped bring in a couple of star players… Hell, maybe it even had something to do with that scrap of paper he’d found his office ages ago – it was unlikely but always possible. Anyway, after a drink at Coffee Republic down the high street, Benny walked on towards The Officers Club and picked up a new jacket, on sale again – but then again when did that store ever not have a sale? It was certainly perplexing. He then decided to make a call to Paul Martin, the finance and sponsorship guy, he felt as though he needed to iron out some of his concerns and a meeting was duly scheduled for the following Monday.

For Owen meanwhile, the delight at the resounding win had clearly spread across the side, and even his dad was taking extreme pleasure from the result, though whilst daydreaming about the win, he accidentally forgot to turn the drainage system on, and a particularly unfortunate burst of summer showers flooded the pitch for the weekend. Fortunately the side were away. As for new players, there were clearly not going to be any further additions before the weekend but he was receiving a few more positive remarks – and Gary sent a couple of lads down from Scotland for a months trial with the club to see if they could make the grade. At no cost to the club it was a win/win affair. Coventry’s Robert Betts was permission to join us on loan, but the petulant kid told Owen to stick it not quite so politely.

The morning of the Farnborough game came around quite quickly and what with TV demands it proved another early start for the club against the leagues in form side sitting top of the table. Still looking for an away win this season Owen was merely looking to see how his players performed against one of the better sides and the result would be secondary for now. However, after 11 minutes, when Marco Negri continued his excellent form to open the scoring from a Richard Gell cross, he knew his side could win this. It may well have come against the run of play given that the hosts had manage to force 4 corners and already forced Mike into 3 excellent saves before that, but the name of the game is goals, and not stats. Once it was 1-0, it wasn’t long before it became 2. 5 minutes later another attack full of vibrant energy was slightly checked by Dave Watson, but the free kick from Jo Murphy was swung in with surprising power for a lass and this time it was a header for Negri that established a shock lead. Owen hugged Sal on the touchline, and high fived Paul. It may have been premature but every game seemed to instil far greater confidence in his side. The game had been completely turned on its’ head as the quality of Marco and Kaba was causing the hosts defence all sorts of problems. Aided by a very solid backline marshalled superbly by Dick the midfield was being given an amazing license to push forward, and Jo almost became the first female goal scorer in the men’s league on 23 minutes when her volley from 12 yards struck the crossbar. Jo was certainly causing a fuss on the pitch, not least because at one point her chest strap managed to undo itself and a Farnborough player was caught massively off guard when he saw a bosom appear from nowhere. Nevertheless it didn’t prevent Worcester from repeating their Nuneaton feats and notching a 3rd goal in 30 minutes. Justin Gregory was deceived for pace by Mark Heimgartner and conceded a free kick in a fairly central location of his own half. Negri took it, and it beat everyone except Diawara who flicked it into the net. The Frenchman hadn’t really notched the rewards his efforts had deserved before now so when Owen saw the net bulge his air-punch was really for Kaba.

Half time came and went, and as per usual after such a lead in the first half the second was always likely to be more subdued. Chances still arrived, most of Worcesters’ came on the counter as they sat back and invited the pressure Farnborough inevitably needed to. With Salmon still in form and Siros and Vickers impregnable, the result was not in doubt. With 20 minutes to go it was further reason for joy as Kaba notched his deserved second of the match. On one such counter attack, Rod Davies motored up the left wing and sent in a cross to the unmarked forward and it was a no-brainer. Farnborough though weren’t top for no reason though and their striker Rocky Baptiste pulled back a consolation eventually, as the clean sheet was lost, but another superb result pushed Worcester into the top 8 and fears of not being able to compete with the other sides were effectively eradicated for good after a result like that. Times were changing, and so were ambitions.

[Brian of Nazareth]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">

Worcester Evening News

16.09.01

Magic Marco

Benny Broadhurst

Following on from the clubs highly impressive 4-1 win in front of the Sky Cameras on Saturday lunchtime, in which Marco Negri and Kaba Diawara both highlighted their quality with a brace each, we caught up with the 31 year old Italian after the match to see how he’s getting on at Worcester so far.

Q: Well Marco, 6 goals in 7 games, that’s an excellent start so far. What made you join Worcester?

A. Well, of course I needed the games. I won’t lie, I never have heard of Worcester before I received a call from Mr. Jeff, and then Mr. Owen, but I was in much need of games. I left Rangers in bad cloud. You know, I was injured and then there was the fall out with Dick. I had choice little to be honest. I signed for short while then when I was here for a week or so I realised I was quite happy so I signed a more confident deal.

Q: So you are happy living in Worcester?

A: Yes very much so it is a beautiful city. Because of Rangers the language is not a problem, and I like the shops and the places to go, it is a good place, some parts remind me of Italy.

Q: Ok, so how do you see your future at Worcester? You seem to have a good partnership with Kaba Diawara.

A: I don’t know. I signed a contract for a while because the way this club is going I think we can do well, maybe win promotion. When we also signed Kaba I was very happy. I know he has ability from the bigger clubs. For me, it is about playing regularly. As long as I am doing that, I am happy for now. Of course I want to play at the top again, but I will be patient and wait for my move.

Q: Do you get on well with the players? Who’s the funniest?

A: Eh, yes! I get on very well with the players. I don’t know who the funniest is. James (Taylor) is strange. I do not get him. He tried to paint my shirt pink. Is this English joke?

Q: Er, not that we know of Marco! Ok then quickly, where do you think Worcester will finish this season and how many goals will you score?

A: Oh my I don’t know. Top for Worcester and 25 for me! I hope anyway.

Indeed the striker has been getting rave reviews, as has his partner Kaba Diawara – who Owen is convinced will be signing a long term deal in the coming days. Meanwhile boss Owen Newitt is said to be exploring the lower levels for more talent, and his wife and assistant Sally has been spotted at Racing Club Warwick in the past week. Elsewhere a loan bid for Gary McCutcheon, the unsettled Kilmarnock striker has fallen through, and on trial midfielder Chris Burns has been offered a short term deal.

The next match at home to Forest Green still has tickets available but their going fast as the whole city is descending into football fever! Owen Newitt’s barmy army!

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[Brian of Nazareth]

The Odeon Cinema,

Screen 4, some goddawful film with no other audience members aside from Paul Martin and Benny Broadhurst. They are eating popcorn. Sweet popcorn.

“ Ok, then Benny, what’s your beef?â€

“Firstly why did we have to meet in an empty cinema screen? Not that it’s an issue but I don’t want the staff to get the wrong impression… they know me Paul!â€

“Oh don’t be silly. They’ll just assume it’s another conspiracy that’s all, nothing to worry about.â€

“Ah good. Look, it’s just I’ve got a few suspicions that’s all about both money at the club and Jeff… I am a journalist Paul, I will go looking for stories.â€

“Of course you should, that’s your job, but there’s nothing to concern you here. â€

“ Yes, but whenever someone says this or that doesn’t concern me, it usually means there probably is something I should be sniffing at. Paul, no-one knows much about your past history in Canada yet… if I did some basic research, you telling me I’m not going to find anything there?â€

“There’s no need Benny. Anyway, you’ve got far more important things to be getting on with. Forget such trivialities, Worcester need their main correspondent out and about gathering news and promoting the club! You can see for yourself that Jeff and his business have enjoying an upturn in fortunes at the races now. He’s built a fortune before and he’s doing it again with his property development company. What’s wrong with that?â€

“And the sudden attention from the Sky cameras? Three lunchtime kick offs already? We can’t have garnered that much attention. They’re bugging me for info!â€

“The give it to them lad? Look we’re a club whose past has been slightly unusual and fortuitous to say the least but we’re a conference club again. We got lucky.â€

“Hmm, lucky you’re telling me. All that Telford business, real ‘lucky’ there Paul. Then the big names, I mean seriously, how can we attract Marco Negri and Kaba Diawara to the club…â€

“They’re out of work players and Jeff offered them a sizeable contract. He’s richer than you think so leave that at is.â€

“Then you’re financing him always helps I suppose.â€

“Of course it does! Now listen up Benny, you’ve got a plum job, you’re a good reporter, and you can make a good career out of it and go further if you play your cards right. Let’s not be having you ruining it with these needless deviations from your job ok?â€

“Fine.†Benny muttered. No point making any enemies just yet, and of course he could just be paranoid.

“ Good lad, now be quiet and watch the film! Coke?â€

[Brian of Nazareth]

Owen was finding training to be a real pleasure at the current time, as results had lifted the mood considerably. The natural high experienced after the Farnborough match was spreading swiftly. A smile here, leading to a smile there and everyone was cheerful. Disgusting. Joanne then further satisfied him later in his office, before unfortunately suffering a slight bruising of the ribs later in the day. When Sal found out this news she wasn’t too downcast, after all Jo would only be out for a week, and the new contract she had signed more than made up for that little mishap.

On the eve of the latest Saturday game, at home to Forest Green and incidentally the first home 3pm kick off of the season to the relief of the fans, Racing Club Warwick informed him they had accepted his offer for Justin Wiseman, a young attacking midfielder who Owen had briefly seen personally and was impressed. He was certainly worthy of a shot at the higher level, and at 20k was only a slight risk if it failed to turn out successfully. He didn’t agree terms in time for the Saturday match but he was in the stands to see his prospective team mates take on the struggling visitors.

With confidence high in the side, expectations were rising too. The only change saw Carl Tranter replace the injured Joanne, and the side took to the field with a degree of complacency Owen had been keen to avoid. It was certainly not quite the explosive action some of the fans were hoping for in the first half as a very stubborn Forest Green were playing the better football. By limiting the likes of Kaba and Darren to long range shots Worcester were certainly a little frustrated, and it was only Marco who seemed capable of turning nothing into something. The frustration saw discipline slip though creating gaps in the midfield and the defence which annoyed Owen. Mike though was again still in good form, whilst the defence were holding up, but they hadn’t face this much pressure in a good few games and Owen was concerned as to how long they would hold up. In the dressing room at half time a few home truths were sounded out as he reminded the players that no-one could afford to put in less than 100% if they wanted to win games at any level, let along Conference standard.

Shortly after the re-start Drew Bradman came on for Diawara who wasn’t enjoying much luck, and the fresh legs combined with a more focussed and professional attitude helped to slowly turn the game around. It was still a pitched battle in midfield, but the gaps weren’t being left open as patience had consumed the players at last. With that in place the attackers gradually pushed forward, and kept the ball better, biding their time for a chance to exploit a Forest Green error. On 57 minutes, Richard Gell picked out Drew 30 yards out with an incisive pass and the forward’s first time flick was inch perfect into the path of substitute Heimgartner running into the penalty area. Sadly his shot on the run went well wide, but the hosts were getting closer.

On 62, relief erupted around St.Georges Lane, and there were no surprises for guessing who was on the score sheet. Darren Middleton held the ball up well in the centre of the visitors half, and then picked out the run of full back James Taylor down the right. Taylor, checked back from the by-line a moment before sending in a looping cross won in the air by the man of the moment Marco Negri . His goal there and there ended the battles in midfield as a furious end to end game then commenced.

Forest Green certainly surprised the Worcester side with their pacey counter attacks, and at one point they even managed 3 corners in succession as they piled on the pressure. Martin Weir was brought on to rest the jaded George Siros, and not long after Owen was hugging Sal as the killer blow was inflicted on a plucky and admittedly unlucky Forest Green side. The move was started by Gell who picked up the ball in his own half and as part of a swift move sent it immediately out left to Heimgartner. The winger controlled it once and then sent it forward to the feet of Bradman and the youngster’s lob cross to the other side of the penalty box found Negri . The Italian took it past the helpless Bryan Small before firing into the roof of the net. It was 2-0 and game over. To Forest Green’s credit they came back at Worcester with a vengeance and Salmon was diving like his namesake to keep hold of a clean sheet, as the defence had to soak up an awful lot of pressure in the closing stages, but at the end, realising pulling back two goals was too much they grew tired and the final whistle soon went.

Another superb 3 points had been gained, albeit fortuitously and thanks enormously to the predatory instincts of Marco, but the fighting spirit of Forest Green had eventually been quelled and it was winning games like this which had Owen and Sal really hopeful of a prosperous season.

There was little time to enjoy it though as another midweek game was a calling, this time away to Barnet , but there was still enough time to send Portsmouth packing with their ideas of stealing James Taylor away for a pretty tidy sum, whilst Bishop Auckland were likewise protective of their 21 year old starlet Michael Dunwell, a striker Owen had his eyes on snatching away at some point during the season – though he refused to pay over the odds for the man, a policy that certainly seemed to endear him to Jeff Daniels as well. As the side travelled south towards the club, Owen did receive more good news though as the physio Warren Knight called up to inform him that Adam Vickers was fit and ready again, and would be driving down in time for the club’s evening kick off. Starting for the first time, would be Justin Wiseman whose move had been completed by the end of the weekend. He relegated Carl Tranter to the sidelines.

This time around as the lads gathered in the away team dressing room even Owen was filled with the confidence of the players around him, a 3 match winning streak and a 6 game unbeaten run had everyone at the 6th placed club assuming they would be able to carry it on against 16th placed Barnet. After twenty minutes or so it all seemed likely as they heaped the pressure on the hosts. Drew, starting in place of Kaba headed just over the cross bar, whilst Marco and Dick drew fine stops from Lee Harrison within a minute of each other. The attacking fluency seemed to be heading in the right direction. It was a shame therefore that, amid the revelling in the performance of the front men, the defence took their eye off the ball. It was unfortunate for the new boy Wiseman that his excellent sliding tackle on Wayne Purser resulted in the ball falling into the path of Ross Darcy. The winger carried the ball down the left, and then his cross wasn’t cut allowing Lee Gledhill to head into the net, beating marker Adam Vickers with ease, and leaving Owen wishing the defender had stayed back tonight.

The expected backlash didn’t arrive either as Barnet then imposed themselves on the game, preventing Worcester from taking a foothold in the match. Dick Holder then conceded a free kick in dangerous territory; Mark Arber forced Mike Salmon to tip behind for a corner; and then Lee Gledhill turned provider for midfielder Stuart Niven to rifle in. It was 2-0 and not much more than Barnet deserved. Owen could only watch frustratingly from the sidelines as his players didn’t seem able to react. At half time, Diawara and Jon Holloway replaced Drew and James Taylor, but their contribution fell short of what was needed to really change the prevailing wind that match. It was, perhaps, a match too far for the plucky boys that, night, where too much depended on the evergreen Marco Negri slotting away every chance created for him. Substantial pressure was put on the hosts defence, and Darren Middleton’s trickery did help to earn a few set pieces, but nothing could be capitalised upon, nor could Andy Ellis’ arrival help bring about an extra bit of luck. Defeat soon turned into a reality, and it was back down to earth with a bump for both Owen and his players.

It is a measure perhaps more so of what this league is all about though, where Farnborough who are still top, can be completely thumped at home by Worcester, who in turn can lose to Barnet. Dagenham and Redbridge also thrashed Farnborough but were themselves beaten heavily by Stevenage, a side Owen’s team could easily have beaten with a little luck. The point clearly being that in a league where anyone can beat anyone, you can only ever expect the unexpected, and 6 match unbeaten runs were likely to be gold-dust in the race to stay with the promotion hunting pack.

[Brian of Nazareth]

For Owen, the disappointment of the loss, was quickly replaced by the desire to start a new winning run, and a home match with struggling Scarborough on the Saturday seemed an ideal opportunity to do so, of course the match would be another lunchtime kick off. Sky evidently still hadn’t got enough of this ‘fairytale’ revival, whilst Jeff clearly hadn’t received enough TV money to keep him going, or was it Paul that controlled the money? Either way he had decided to stop worrying about such matters for the time being – if it helped the club fulfil its’ potential did it really matter?

For this match, Mark Tucker was coming in for Adam Vickers, whilst Justin Wiseman was put back to the bench, and Diawara started in place of Drew again. With the side clearly more used to the early starts than a sluggish Scarborough side it was pleasing to see the team act as if the loss at Barnet had been nothing more than a blip. The controlled the ball well, and though few chances were created initially, they were a more stable side for it, and the defence, were played into the game as well. The first real chance didn’t arrive halfway through when Rod Davies bounded down the left and crossed into Diawara’s feet. The striker controlled with his left foot before flicking it to his right and volleying first time, only to see Andy Woods stretch his body high and wide to tip it round for a corner. It certainly woke the lacklustre crowd up, and after a few minutes of hard chanting, their cries were rewarded with a delightful goal for Darren Middleton . It was the forwards first goal for the club and Owen was on his feet dancing a little jig. The lad had worked exceptionally hard in creating chances but never put himself in the position to convert one. This time short passing amongst Rod Davies, Joanne and Andy Ellis on the left saw the aging leftie slide the ball immaculately through the defence to Negri. His cut and turn created space on the edge of the area for Middleton who was picked out swiftly by the ever sharp Negri and he guided the ball into the bottom right corner of the net.

It was certainly a deserved lead, but the good news was quickly suppressed when seconds after the re-start, Rod was felled going for a challenge, receiving a nasty open studded kick to the knee. Taken off on a stretcher, Owen grimaced at the prospect of losing the decent full back again. It was his third injury since pre-season began and he was concerned the lad was getting a little prone – even if it was unfortunate – to these knocks. Dick was moved to the left and James Taylor came on at right back. After a Diawara header was saved, the game then descended into a quieter affair once more. Scarborough saw plenty of the ball but were never given an opportunity to do a great deal with it, either harried away or pushed back towards their own goal again. At the other end a rather direct route to Negri was causing some problems for the visitors, but they were playing in ultra-cautious mode at the back and didn’t give him a sniff. The best chance for Worcester was via set plays, and when one came in the 70th minute it wasn’t wasted. Negri’s free kick had been turned around for a corner, and sub Justin Wiseman who had only been on the field a few minutes curved it directly into the path of Mark Tuckers’ forehead and it was celebration time. A late, late charge by the visitors saw them nick an injury time consolation but the damage was done and Owen was pleased they’d bounced back so quickly from defeat, ending September on a high.

“ What’s the damage Warren?â€

“Well Owen, he’s going to be out for about 3 weeks at least I’d say, it’s a nasty knock he’s taken, and you don’t want to rush these things. It’s a tender spot for Rod at the moment.â€

“Right, fine thanks for that! Still at least we’ve got a clean bill of health elsewhere eh? Still, how’s Ray getting along?â€

“Oh he’s still on schedule, will still be another two months before you can think about picking him.â€

“Don’t worry Warren I don’t plan on doing that ever, but thanks anyway.â€

It was a shame to lose the kid for a bit, but still, at least he did have some cover back there. Getting more in though was proving slightly problematic. The kids he wanted to try and loan in weren’t interested or weren’t allowed to join, whilst the ones Gary and Brian were putting forward from Scotland and Europe, were, to be quite frank, even worse than his mates from last year. Hell, Aidan would have walked all over them. Bids for players were getting rejected, and it was a bit frustrating, but when all said and done he knew he had capable players for the season, but he always had a constant feeling that just one or two more would ease his worries – just like any manager in his league.

<pre class="ip-ubbcode-code-pre">

************************************************************************************************

English Conference - Monday 1st October 2001

************************************************************************************************

================================================================================================

2001/2 Table

================================================================================================

Pos Team Pld Won Drn Lst For Ag Won Drn Lst For Ag Pts

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1st Farnborough 12 4 0 2 14 9 5 0 1 17 10 27

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2nd Dag & Red 12 3 1 2 16 12 5 0 1 8 2 25

3rd Doncaster 12 4 2 0 13 8 3 1 2 10 9 24

4th Margate 12 4 1 1 14 9 3 1 2 6 4 23

5th Southport 12 4 1 1 13 4 2 3 1 9 8 22

6th Worcester City 12 6 0 0 12 4 1 1 4 6 10 22

7th Boston Utd 12 4 1 1 9 6 2 3 1 3 2 22

8th Northwich Vics 12 2 2 2 10 8 3 3 0 5 1 20

9th Dover 12 5 1 0 13 6 1 1 4 8 11 20

10th Hayes 12 2 2 2 7 7 4 0 2 10 9 20

11th Stevenage 12 2 4 0 11 7 2 2 2 7 7 18

12th Yeovil 12 4 0 2 7 4 0 5 1 10 14 17

13th Hereford 12 3 1 2 8 5 1 2 3 10 12 15

14th Woking 12 1 3 2 6 8 2 0 4 10 14 12

15th Barnet 12 2 2 2 6 4 1 1 4 4 13 12

16th Scarborough 12 1 2 3 5 8 2 0 4 8 10 11

17th Morecambe 12 2 3 1 13 12 0 2 4 5 13 11

18th Stalybridge 12 2 2 2 7 7 0 2 4 6 12 10

19th Chester 12 2 1 3 14 13 0 3 3 6 16 10

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

20th Nuneaton Borough 12 1 1 4 5 8 1 2 3 8 11 9

21st Leigh RMI 12 1 2 3 5 7 0 1 5 3 9 6

22nd Forest Green 12 1 2 3 3 7 0 1 5 4 14 6

</pre>

[Brian of Nazareth]

September Review – BBC Radio Hereford & Worcester With Aidan and Kel

“ Well, well good morning folks! It’s that time of the month again! No not you ladies – wooo, bad joke there! I’m Kel and Aidan’s here! Aidan? Oops, he’s fallen off his chair again! Ha ha! Well time for our Worcester City Round up of the month!â€

“Yes it was a busy month for Rodders, Dick, Drew and James and co! 8 games in all this month for the team!â€

“ Well counted Aidan! Of course there was the injury to Rod at the end there which will sideline him for the first two games in October, but still plenty of players left over!â€

“ Indeed! Now the side started off badly with that HORRIFIC 3-1 loss to Dover!â€

“Yeah what a load of rubbishness! Only Matty Rose the goal scorer and then newbie Kaba Diawara can come out of that match with any credit! It was a bad bad game for new goalkeeper Mike Salmon!â€

“Salmon! That’s a FISH! Hee Hee!â€

“Yes, well done Aidan! I’m sure the listeners are well aware of that! Still it proved to be a blessing in disguise as the next match marked the beginning of a 6 match unbeaten run! The popular Marco Negri scoring the winner against Doncaster!!â€

“And that LEGEND, as I shall be calling him now went on to score 6 goals in the following 4 games! What a star! The first was in the draw with with Stevenage! Should have won that mind – I’d have nutted the ref in that one – he was a bit wor, a bit wer, rubbish!â€

“ Calm down you PLANK! Correct! He was also part of the trio on song in the mashing of Nuneaton ! A blitzkrieg start also saw Kaba Diawara and Mark Heimgartner notch firsts for the club in that match!â€

“And the good times they kept a coming! Woo yeah! Farnborough , who were TOP by the way, were SMASHED! 4-1! To quote Chris Kamara it was ‘UNBELIEVABLE JEFF!’ or Kel even!â€

“Quit with the shouting there Aidan, me old-about-to-get-punched-if-he-doesn’t-pipe-down mate! Yes Marco grabbed two and so did Mr. Frenchie!â€

“Miserable f---BLEEP!â€

“ Good thing I brought the bleeper along there Aidan! You go sit in the corner I’ll finish the round up! Yes Neggers got the pair against Forest Green to keep the club rising until boosucky Barnet cropped us 2-0 and man were we off the pace in that one!â€

“DIE BARNET DIE!â€

“ Oi! Producer! Get him off the air! But never fear, when Owen’s here as the side roared back into action with a 2-1 defeat of Scarborough -

“ - Fayre! Tee hee!â€

“ Yes Aidan, that was absolutely hilarious. SO funny in fact I think I might even blink. Anyway, super Darren Middleton and old timer Mark Tucker were the scorers in that one! Spreading the wealth nicely! Still, till next time see you later folks!â€

Background music plays but a punch is heard to connect with Aidans face

[Brian of Nazareth]

October brought with it the first taste of cup competition for Owen’s side – the qualifying rounds for the FA Cup, and a run to the 3rd round was as usual the dream every season. However, the starting point would be pretty tough, facing a 3rd round tie away to fellow conference side Leigh RMI. It also saw a further spate of admittedly expected rejections from Premiership clubs with regards requests to loan Stephen Wright and Ronnie Wallwork. Not even Wolves would consider the possibility of out of favour striker Robert Taylor moving to Worcester on a short term deal.

Still, the side were performing well generally. At least at home the record was excellent. Away there were still performances that could be improved upon, and Owen went to Southport hoping for an improvement on the just one win in 6 away ties so far. Siros was dropped and replaced by Adam Vickers, whilst James Taylor came in for the injured Davies. Darren Middleton was awarded a first start upfront as opposed to his normal attacking midfield slot previously. Justin Wiseman also started the match.

On a pretty cold day the game was played at a surprisingly fast pace, with the players refusing to let the weather inhibit their performances. Early exchanges had been fired at both ends before the first goal arrived on twelve minutes. Marco Negri had fallen deep into midfield to collect a loose ball and then immediately picked out Darren Middleton unmarked in space at the front end. He squared it to Richard Gell running in from the left and an early cross in was nodded home by Jo Murphy at the near post. It was reward for a determined run and the lass eagerly celebrated, taking her top off to the delight of the crowds, before hastily replacing it lest she be rumbled too soon. At 1-0 the side appeared as if they might inflict further damage, but it appeared the side had once more elected to take far too many risks and this time Mike was left unprotected for too long on too many occasions. It took 5 minutes for Simon Parke to equalise, intercepting a weak pass from Mark Tucker to shoot past ‘The Fish’ as he had quite predictably become known as, and level up deservedly.

There after Owen could see his side clearly to be quite frail at the back, and he tried to desist their wild determination to score as many goals as soon as possible. It was a tactic that was only inviting further pressure and the inevitable second goal was leaked moments before half time, Parke again the bastard netting a little too easily past Mike in goal. Although Mike could have done better with it, the fact was Southport were creating endless chances, and Owen realised he really needed to tweak the team’s style at least for away matches or else suffer further reverses. It took an offside flag to keep the game competitive on the stroke of half time, but a mere 10 minutes after the interval in which Owen had called for a common sense approach and once more the defence or what was left of it was breached. Can a defence be breached if technically they’re all over the halfway line? 3-1 and there was no way back. Darren Middleton ran his socks off covering every blade of grass to try and rescue the match but it was to no avail, the midfield and particularly the defence had let the side down terribly – and Owen was furious.

[Brian of Nazareth]

Worcester Wimps Away Day Blues Continue

Benny Broadhurst

Owen Newitt will no doubt be looking to correct the away day blues after the latest setback against Southport. The sides 5th defeat out of 7 has contrasted starkly with the club’s 100% home record and is hindering the side’s push for promotion. Simon Parke ripped through Worcesters’ backline with ease in thr 3-1 loss.

Indicative of the clubs’ problems was the amount of space afforded to the home side, as Owen’s side seemed to forget where they were playing. The tactic has worked well at home no doubt, but away it just risks far too much and the current pattern suggests results like the 4-1 at Farnborough will only ever be a freak unless the system is changed.

The next test for Owen’s side away from home comes in the form of the FA Cup clash at Leigh RMI. The Cup has held some fond memories in the past and is of course the one nationwide competition that unites fans from the upper echelons of the Premiership to the murky depths of the South-West-By-South-East Counties Division 4, and the goal of all clubs of Worcesters’ ilk remains the same.

The third round and a tie at at Manchester United or Arsenal is the Holy Grail, but there is still along way to go. For Worcester, the match on Saturday is merely in order to progress to the next qualifying stage, so the club are still two wins away from the FA Cup proper. Can Owen get his side in the right frame of mind for this clash with Leigh, who though struggling at the foot of the conference appear to have the very definite advantage of playing at home.

This is the one day in the calendar that all the wives and girlfriends of the staff and players really hope their men really will play away from home. Can they do it? Benny Broadhurst says…

HELL YEAH.

[Brian of Nazareth]

Owen was really concerned about the trip to Leigh . He was all too aware of the possibilities if his side could advance, but the team were really shakey at the back, and Mike wasn’t looking too sharp in goal either. Marco was dropped to the bench in a brave move, hoped to inspire Drew in his place to make it his own, James Taylor and Mark Tucker were both dropped for their costly efforts against Southport, whilst Andy Ellis was dropped with Richard Gell coming back into the midfield. The start was vital and after 90 seconds Worcester had carved out their first chance of the match, as a Darren Middleton shot was blocked, with Dick Holder’s rebound effort striking the left post and bouncing to Gell on the left, but with the keeper stranded the midfielder fluffed his effort wide and a golden chance was wasted. It was to prove a fatal error. Five minutes later Leigh had their first chance of the match. A cross from Robert Trees was completely flapped at by Mike when a catch seemed easiest and Marcus Hallows was able to pounce and score. Salmon’s goalkeeping was definitely concerning Owen, and it was about to be worsened as while Owen was thinking of his side getting back into the game quickly then went 2-0 down. A complete loss of concentration by Siros allowed his marker to ghost into the area unchallenged, and Mark Batty’s chip was converted by Hallows again. It was a terrible start but only furthered to strengthen Owen’s desire to find some solid centre backs. The basic premise behind a good side was a core of keeper, centre halves and strikers could you depend on. The latter group was fine, and the former was probably just having a bad spell right now, but those centre backs were all over the place.

It took awhile for the visitors to recover from the shocking start, but when they did they produced some encouraging signs. Drew volleyed over the bar on 16, before Gell hit a sweet drive only inches past the upright. The frustration of not getting a swift goal back only escalated as the half went on and Joanne picked up a yellow card for grabbing a Leigh RMI players’ crotch when he’d beaten her off the ball. Drew headed another cross over the bar, but then the killer blow came. Maamria was given acres of space in which to send a 30 yard ball right past the face of a useless Siros and into the stride of Eric Rostron. The club with only 1 win all season went 3 up as Eric talk it past a Mike Salmon in the midst of tripping over his shoelace. Another complete disappointment for Owen then as the second period brought nothing but a stalemate. Leigh knew they’d won and shockingly so did Owen’s men whose resistance was futile. The just didn’t seem to care and it was disgusting. At the final whistle only Darren Middleton had the balls to go over and apologise to the group of disconsolate fans in the away end, whilst the others hurried off the pitch with their tails between their legs. Owen waited for them in the dressing room, and when they were all seated he just stared at them. The silence was deafening. After ten seconds which felt like an hour, he simply left, returning 5 minutes to poke his round the door. ‘Darren, on the bus, the rest of you can find your own damn way back.’

[Brian of Nazareth]

Worcester Training Ground

Owen was piling through the papers and videos from Gary that had been sent back, when a knock at the door arrived.

“ Come in! “†It was Mike Salmon as ordered.

“ I never usually order fish, but this time I’ve had to Mike. What the goddamn happened on Saturday!â€

“Ah come on boss! It wasn’t just me – the defence didn’t give me a chance!â€

“Oh piddle! You screwed up on the first two and against Southport you didn’t cover yourself in glory! Look. I know you are a great keeper but with your experience I can’t afford those mistakes. I’ve informed Jeff… you’ve been given an official reprimand for your performances.â€

“WHAT!? You bring me here, a man with experience in all the leagues and at 37 no spring chicken, and after two games in which I was certainly not the sole man responsible for our losses – the team could have scored more – you officially warn me? Pìss off!â€

“Mike! I simply do not expect you to be flapping at crosses like that – it’s not as if it was coming at 100 mph was it? Look, you’re not being dropped and I have faith in you but just focus!â€

“You have faith in me? Aww how nice! F*ck the patronising! I can’t believe I signed on here, what a load of crap!â€

“Well you’re under contract so unless you want me to fine your ass all the way to the bank I suggest you quit being a baby and work to get back into the team! I don’t tolerate whiners! Go back and help Danny – after all he’s our starting goalkeeper for now! Oh and send George in will you?â€

Mike simply scowled and then left in a theatrical huff, before whispering in George Siros’ ear as the defender entered.

“ Sit down George!â€

“Ok, what do you wan’ boss?â€

“You’re being handed an official reprimand – just like Mike there. You were crap on Saturday – what the hell were you playing at?!â€

“Hey! I never claimed to be a great player!?â€

“Eh? Sod that, I can see that but that’s no excuse for just standing like a complete lemon as the game passes you by, you were at fault for two of the goals and frankly your performances over the past few games have been barely acceptable, you’re just about hitting the line, and I want more do you understand? Ever since you signed permanently you’ve been poor! Sort it out!â€

“Ah Mary mother of Christ! I haven’t been that bad – even the papers say I am doing fine! I don’t need this! If you’re going to treat me like this I want out! I demand to leave!â€

“Listen wetpants! Quit you’re friggin’ whining and get back out on the pitch and earn your place in the line up!â€

“No! I want to leave!â€

“Ok then Melissa, you want to act like a petulant little **** you can, but I am not accepting it! You are a capable player, you just need to sort your attitude out. Now get out before I slap you silly. â€

“You’re crazy!†George had barely finished his riposte when the knuckles of Owen’s left hand came swiping across his face, cutting his nose in the process, thanks to the wedding ring.

“Get out, work hard, and you’ll be in the side. It’s either that or I’ll chuck you in the River Severn attached to some iron railings. Your choice!†[/i]

[Brian of Nazareth]

George was out in a flash and Owen sat back in his chair and sighed. He hadn’t meant those words obviously, but he was just so frustrated with the sides’ inability to not defend like morons in the away games. Didn’t they understand they had to be more cautious and patient away from home? The door knocked again and was pushed slightly open when Owen yelled:

“ For the last time get out on the pitch and work you lazy twat! Feck off!â€

“Er, Owen it’s me!†Sal poked her head round the door before walking in.

“ Ah sorry love – problems with the staff!â€

“ Disciplining the pair of them?â€

“Yeah did so, God they’re self centred bastards. Can’t take any responsibility either – it’s pathetic! Damn we need some defenders!â€

“Well that was what I was coming in to say – we’ve got some good leads – and you’ve got a video here you evidently haven’t watched yet or you’d be in Jeff’s office demanding he sign a player at gunpoint!â€

“Ah come on he can’t be that good! Where does he play and what’s his name?â€

“Geir Andre Fredriksen and he’s a 21 year old Norwegian – plays at left back for Tollnes – Gary’s sent back the evidence here!†Sally plucked the required type out from the mess on Owen’s table.

“Who?!†Owen was still trying to roll the name round his tongue in one go.

“Just watch!†Sal inserted the tape and it began to show the collated highlights of the fullbacks recent performances. After about five minutes it ended.

“ You’re right! He’s bloody good! But how we going to get him? He must cost a fortune!â€

“ Try 14k.â€

“What?! That’s ridiculous? Surely they meant 140k? Norwegians can’t be that stupid can they?â€

“ Just a far cheaper market overseas than it is here Owen! Yeah it’s 14k – probably have to offer a fair bit above that but I’m sure Jeff can sort out the finer details of the offer! You want me to tell him?â€

“ Hell yeah. He’d be an excellent addition to the squad, and at a good age to ripen into serious quality. Did you have any other news though? We still need centre backs!â€

“ Yeah, this kid who’s just gone on loan at Grimsby – he’s called David Beherall – he’s 22 and at Newcastle – but he’s interested, or so his agent has told me. He wants a permanent move – he knows he’s not going anywhere over there and wants games – again – we’d be talking an offer in the region of 30-50k as guaranteed to capture the lad. He’s strong and good in the air – and he does work hard. Plus you can tell he’s been used to working with such luminaries as Titus Bramble – he can’t concentrate for long periods.â€

“Hmmm! Good work – put in an offer then! Any visual evidence or am I going on your word?â€

“My word hon!†Sal winked. He’d never not trusted her before. Her decisions had always proved to turn out well in the end.

“ Aha, ok go for it! We can afford that I think! Any other possibilities?â€

“ German kid called Sven Hein – â€

“ Actually yeah I’ve seen his tape – he’s on a free isn’t he?â€

“Yep – and we’d get him on a short term part time contract.â€

“Ok, I’ll let Jeff know about that one. One from me to you though – I have seen this report on this other Norwegian kid that Gary’s sent back. Called Kjel Andre Thull? A 17 year old forward with definite potential! I think he’s worth a shot!â€

“Must have passed me bye with that one – but good luck with Jeff – I’m off to grab some shopping! Don’t be late tonight – gotta nice pasta and chicken dish for you!â€

Righto – see you later then!†Owen gave his wife a kiss on the cheek and left at the same time to check on training. He certainly seemed to have a good deal on his plate for now – still – with just under two weeks until the next match there would be plenty of time to sort all that out.

[Brian of Nazareth]

Over the next few days the usual ups and downs arrived in plentiful supply as Owen barely noticed the last round of World Cup qualifiers and play off matches. Not even the midweek champions league matches could provide enough entertainment.

Young trialist Chris Burns left without a word passed between manager and player, whilst young German Sven Hein arrived on a free – the defender heading straight into the reserves for the immediate short term. His arrival was swiftly followed up with the arrival of Newcastle defender David Beharall for just under 50k, and he would be going straight into the starting line up. It was difficult to say exactly where for the time being given that he and Paul Davies had decided to experiment with a a 3-5-2 style formation with the wingers starting in a full back area with license to push forward with every attack. He had no idea if it would work but Owen had decided to play to his side’s strengths whilst trying to protect the weakness. With three at the back there logically should be fewer gaps for the opponents to exploit whilst going forward the core midfield would be well flanked by the wingers with any luck.

On Friday 19th of October though it was Alice Cooper night at the NIA. A welcome diversion from football for a change, and a night out with the beautiful mrs as well. It had everything needed, a good support act, overpriced beer and speakers bursting to the roof – Owen was almost in bliss by the time Poison hit his ears, and was annoying Sal the whole way home with his own, beer induced rendition of it.

In the run up to the weekend fixture, Rod Davies announced his availability for selection, but within 40 minutes of that decision Owen was hit by the news that Kaba Diawara would be watching on the sidelines for a month or so with a slight groin tear. Mercifully it was in an area where he could legitimately claim to have moderate strength, but as good as Drew and Darren had been performing, they had still only notched up 1 goal between them. Here was their chance.

On the Thursday, he relieved Paul from reserve team duty to personally control the fixture with Morecambe’s back ups, allowing him to test out both Rod’s fitness, Mike’s reflexes and confidence between the sticks and a chance to oversee Sven in person. There were even senior starts for the punished Siros and Justin Wiseman. It ended up a 2-1 loss, but Owen was happy enough. George had calmed down since his antics in the office a few days previously and appeared content at the club, but then again he was Greek so who could tell for sure? Justin Wiseman scored the goal in the first half before being withdrawn, but the performance was still encouraging for Owen – and frankly it had given him a taste for the reserves, and duly asked Sally if she would oversee the games from time to time as well.

[Brian of Nazareth]

The next day a whimsical loan bid came to fruition as Luton’s 24 year old striker Andrew Fotiadis arrived on a two month deal until Christmas. He was certainly capable, and had been brought in on the personal recommendation of his scout Brian Clark. He was straight into the line up for the trip to Morecambe on the Saturday, whilst Owen had decided against his better judgement to persist with the new look formation. McDonnell took the gloves as promised, whilst Vickers, Beharall and Dick Holder took the centre slots. Rod Davies would patrol the left flank and Richard Gell the right. In the midfield trio were Matty Rose and Jo Murphy as the ball winners, whilst Darren Middleton was plonked in the supporting attacker role. With Marco and Fotiadis up front, goals were certainly possible.

The first test of the new look ‘away’ strategy was passed as the defence managed to hold out the first 15 minutes without conceding, and the relief was self-evident. Certainly once the nerves seemed to have stop jangling, the quality of football improved. It was a tight affair, with the gaps being plugged preventing attacks down the centre, though Rod and Richard still had Owen gasping as they failed to track back after a broken down attack and left opportunities on the flank for Morecambe allowing them to whip in efforts from the side, but with David Beharall making a commanding debut in the backline he marshalled the line superbly with Dick and Adam. The trio certainly seemed at ease with one another and the factor they didn’t have to carry any weaker members was clear to see. Up front, the first real chance of the match for Worcester was taken superbly by the excellent Darren Middleton . Gell had bustled his way down the right, fighting off challenges before finding Negri on the edge of the box, the Italian too was closed down quickly but in a scuffle the ball was knocked kindly into the space of Middleton and his right footed rifled effort beat Mark Smith for pace and the deadlock was broken. So far, so good for the new tactic.

Surviving until the interval, Owen told both Rod and Richard to cut back their attacking runs and help protect the backline a bit, an instruction which seemed very valid in the early stages of the second half as the hosts sought an equaliser. In goal Danny was playing very well and his determination to hold his place in the side did not go unnoticed by anyone on the bench – including Mike Salmon – who was wearing a somewhat sullen expression. As the game progressed, it was clear that both Rose and Jo seemed to be struggling playing alongside one another for some reason, and Justin Wiseman came on for the former QPR man, with Drew replacing a hard working Fotiadis up front. That extra impetus seemed to help Worcester finally get their attacking movement going in search of a second. Jo was played in early but he first time shot went well wide before a deep left wing cross from Rod was headed squarely at the goalkeeper by Marco. The fear of a late equaliser seemed to affect the lads in the closing stages, and Owen too as he had a sinking feeling that with all the crosses Morecambe were sending over in the final stages that one might actually find a colleague. As it was a hard working and efficient display was rewarded with a last minute goal from Negri as the Italian, celebrating his 31st birthday converted another cross from Davies to send the travelling fans home delighted.

[Spav]

Superb - a wonderfully detailed story you've got going here, BoN.

I like the return of some old footballing faces like Negri and Diawara and I see you're scouting the (CM01/02?) wonderland that is the Scandinavian region.

I'll definitely keep up to date with this story now that I've read what you've done so far. KUTGW.

[Brian of Nazareth]

firstly a very belated cheers to fin, from the first page, thanks for that,

and cheers Spav - yeah Scandinavia is definitely a haven of nice cheap talent, and the lack of a visible wage budget in this version certainly helps with the likes of Negri

The final match of the month certainly lent hope to a better run in before Christmas, but the frustrating point from the players’ point of view was that having gone out of the cup already they had another gap before the next match in ten days time, but as Owen pointed out to them, they only had themselves to blame. It did on the other hand allow for further squad building where possible. More loans still weren’t being cooperative and Sally had to remind Owen that with Fotiadis being the third loan of this season he had only two more deals he could make before summer, so it was permanent deals where possible. He’d already managed to half bugger up the Fredriksen player as after finally having agreed a fee – it had not totally surprisingly ended up far higher than that 14k carrot figure Sal had suggested initially, by insulting the players self-esteem with the initial conversation. Something about not being guaranteed football was the gist of it, but after a cooling off period Owen hoped to revive the deal.

The final day of the month was spent catching up with the big boys as what with a few of the lads being local there were inevitably a few Villa lads in the ranks and a footy get together was organised with pizza and beer to watch the Villains UEFA Cup match with Pogon. The midlands club had actually started the season well in the league, occupying 2nd spot, and were still in Europe – rarity indeed. Typically though as soon as Owen and the boys became interested, Villa went out to the mighty Polish randoms. Ok it was extra time and even a goal in overtime could have won it, when Hadji scored in the 114th minute but the side couldn’t hold out 6 minutes and lost on penalty kicks. A disappointing result, but it hadn’t ruined what had turned out to be an excellent night all around, with the new guys able to mix with the seniors, mostly getting tips about estate agents for local flats and houses or favourite tipple houses.

[Brian of Nazareth]

October Review – BBC Radio Hereford & Worcester With Aidan and Kel

“ Well good morrow my fine folkses! Aidan and Kel here so you know what time it is! Yes stay with us a couple of minutes as we re-cap Worcester City and Owen Newitt’s month of October!â€

“Indeed! Though I might apologise now if I sound a little sore in places… I’m still recovering from my broken nose! Isn’t that great Aidan!â€

“It was an accident – get over it haha! You know the score listeners anyway let’s get cracking! A poor start to the month saw them smashed – â€

“ Like my nose – â€

“ Sssh! Smashed by Southport 3-1 in a game they were never really in, despite Jo Murphys’ early goal and controversial celebration! What was that? Man breasts?â€

“ Haha! I know something you don’t know!â€

“Your nose is broken?â€

“Fine. Carrying on, that league win was followed up with a crushing 3-0 defeat by LEIGH RMI knocking us out of the FA Cup…â€

“yes it certainly hit them where it hurt hey Aidan? Knocked out of joint, you MIGHT say.â€

“Well, looky here, you could have been out there if you weren’t such a lazy drunkard!â€

“ ahaha yes listeners, Aidan ever the comic! Hilarious joke that. Ok! Well moving on – we get to the final game of the month – only 3 games this time around – â€

“Woo, well done use an abacus did you for that one?â€

“Yes, yes I did. Now be quiet. Of course as we all know it ended victoriously for us as we overcame Morecambe 2-0 with Negri and DAZZLING Darren Middleton the scorers as the change of tactics inspired Worcester to win!â€

“WAHEY! Now of course the month as usual has seen it’s fair share of speculation and now we’ll confirm who’s moved where and when and who maybe on the transfer express in the near future!â€

“Oh yes! Now there were a few additions this month – mostly defenders – with firstly Adam Vickers arriving for 6k, before George Siros made his move permanent – â€

“ Bit of a daft move in hindsight by Owen there as he’s been a bit rubbish and is a little on the crazy side so I’ve heard!â€

“You’re one to talk about craziness Aidan that’s for sure, especially with that teapot on your head!â€

“It’s a Chinese fez you ignoramus!â€

“ Put the thesaurus down numbnuts, and I’ll ignore that strange claim… anyway also signing on the dotted line at Worcester were Justin Wiseman from Racing Club Warwick for a small fee and David Baharall the former Newcastle defender! Ok he never played for them, but he did train with them and presumably had to keep Shearer away from goal… clearly he didn’t do very well but hey we’ll have him!â€

“And you’re forgetting that Swedish fella too! Sven!â€

“No he’s German! Sven Hein arrived out of nowhere on our shores..â€

“ASYLUM SEEKER! OUT!â€

“Idiot, anyway he’s here but word reached us earlier today that he’s picked up a bit of a strain in training and will have to wait at least a couple of weeks for his chance of a debut!â€

“Over and Out!â€

“Til next month… take care! Aidan! A word….â€

[Brian of Nazareth]

For Owen the weekend without football proved to be business as usual as it was only the small matter of not having to coach the players for 90 minutes that made it differ from any other weekend – the usual rigmarole of going for ambitious loans, being knocked back by both Celtic and Arsenal in bids for Liam Miller and Steven Sidwell on loan deals respectively. Sally as scout was being sent far a field whilst Gary Wood was asked to do all the work on following opponents as he simply didn’t have enough time to do it himself at the present time, and coupled with his occasional reserve team duties he had barely a chance for a breather. Still there was always the prospect of another big signing for the club in a key area coming in soon.

“ Hey Jeff, how’s the Appleby situation holding up?â€

“Well Owen that last deal you sorted with without me knowing, well the board had to cancel it as they didn’t think it was a fair move!â€

“What?! Barnsley rate him at 400k right? We structured the bid how again?â€

“250k being paid over 12 months, with a further 210k being sent after 50 appearances and the extra 100k on that international appearance.â€

“Well surely that’s a good deal? I mean the 100k is never going to be paid for! He’s 29 he’s not going to be picked for England if he can’t get into the Barnsley side!â€

“It’s the other bits. Owen I may have put in my own cash – legitimate cash I might add in, but we’re still a conference club and we have to run like that! We want to take this club into league football of course! But we have budgets, we have constraints! If we take all these risks and it doesn’t pan out we WILL go bankrupt! There’s only so much I can put in of my own money you know.â€

“ Well surely a deal can be agreed! Try again, take off the 100k and reduce the other figures and see what comes out. The player wants to leave – Sally told me – so they should be willing to get him off their wage budget…â€

“Ok… I’ll try Owen but given the amount we’ve spent so far, I still have to watch the pennies ok? This’ll have to be the last big signing if I can get until the end of the season – unless there are any sales, understand?â€

“Sure, cheers Jeff!â€

“No problem, now you go worry about the Hayes game tonight and get us another three points there sport.â€

[Brian of Nazareth]

That’s exactly what Owen would be doing. Matty Appleby, his wife had gloriously discovered, was another interested in taking up the Matty Rose route of resurrecting his career. Ironically they were also fairly identical in ability and position. He also added experience and versatility to the backline and in midfield, and had a few years on top of Rose. It would be a massive lift if he were able to join, especially with Jo looking somewhat shaky in midfield at times, her aggression not quite being able to compensate for lack of fitness. Onto the Hayes match on the Wednesday night, and he’d elected to stick with the 3-5-2 formation that had defeated Morecambe. George Siros, who’d made a bizarre turn on his views and now seemed quite in love with the club, would start in place of Vickers in the backline. The defensive positives of the formation shone clearly to all the fans witnessing the spectacle as a chance on goal aside from 40 yard free kicks wasn’t created until after the half hour mark in one of the most spectacularly dull matches in a while – even though Owen admitted his side probably needed to work on their resilience a little more.

Fortunately it turned out to be a goal at the right end and Andrew Fotiadis took the plaudits when one of those free kicks paid off. Richard Gell swung it in from the right side, Matt Rose knocked it down into the path of the forward and it was a simple finish for the Luton man. 1-0 to the Worcester, and the side definitely had taken on that Arsenal of the early nineties edge, as they simple nulled the entire game into mind numbing frustration. Credit where due, the side had toughened up amazingly, but the full backs Rod and Richard Gell were taking their defensive attributes to the extreme. At 1-0, Owen wasn’t going to worry too unduly but a failure to add to that lead always held with it the threat of wasting the points. Darren Middleton saw a shot hit the bar, whilst Joanne was hustling and bustling all evening trying to finish the match off, but to no avail. A late triple substitution helped control the final few minutes though, with fresh legs in defence midfield and attack, but in the end a 1-0 win sufficed and the fans wouldn’t be too unhappy.

Though the side were able to relax a small while before the intriguing derby in prospect on Saturday against Hereford, Owen was kept occupied with the reserve fixture the Thursday night. A mixture of experience and youth were involved in the 3-0 win, as Drew netted to bolster his confidence and Tucker and Weir were given games to keep their legs fresh.

[Brian of Nazareth]

A satisfying week continued pleasantly on Friday as finally Jeff and Paul sanctioned a deal to bring in Matty Appleby from Barnsley and Owen was delighted. The sweeper cum centre half cum defensive midfielder would be thrown right into the lions den against Hereford in the lunchtime kick off. In confident mood and hoping to excite the fans, Owen returned to his more central attacking formation of a few weeks ago, content now that a strong defensive partnership of Beharall and Appleby would stand firm. With Rose as the go between, it looked a very strong core line. Even Dick Holder was relegated to the bench in a shake of the side that also so Joanne shifted out. Her recent form had seen little else other than determination, which is an admirable quality, but when not combined with anything of real substance is of little use to the side.

Despite the return to winning ways, a local derby, and the recent acquisition of a Division 2 player, who had even served time in the Premiership, the crowd was at a good 55% of it’s usual attendance – which was just weird. They couldn’t all be in The Talbot watching it on the telly could they? Jesus, the ground was only 5 minutes walk away – where were they? The missing hundreds though missed what would turn out to be quite the game. By returning to the more centrally focused formation of before, the players enjoyed the increased license to get forward and attack the ball directly as opposed to playing out wide and then coming back in. Having escaped a slight scare initially as the defence got carried away with the attacking element, Worcester made the perfect start with a goal on 7 minutes. Dick Holder from the back passed to Matt Rose around the centre circle who in turned moved it left to Richard Gell whose touch allowed him to move it swiftly onto Darren Middleton on the edge of the area. Just before he was crowded out of space he knocked it sideways into the stride of Fotiadis who banged it in with exceptional venom.

The game continued in a battling vein, and whilst there were limited chances it was still an intriguing contest as the fans who were there ensured it was an emotionally charged contest, and it sparked up further when a crunching challenge from Rose saw Steve Bull hobble off injured and the defender booked despite chants for him to be sent off. With the lead already present Owen knew if his side calmed the tempo down they would ease their chances of winning. As Hereford tried to push the ball towards Danny McDonnell’s goal they were hit with a counter attack and as the second shot of the match for the hosts also found the net. Davies had it down the left wing before he pushed it diagonally ahead to Middleton again and the young forward, causing all sorts of problems found Gell with a deft back heel whilst facing the wrong way. Gell crossed, Negri headed, and it was 2-0, and ten for Marco. Top marks for efficiency certainly and Owen was delighted. The game tightened up a little after that as Hereford eased off eager not to worsen the damage, and only a couple of hopeful long rangers from both sides were seen before the half time whistle.

With one foot in the door towards moving into the top 5, Owen preached caution in the early stages to prevent an angry early response and it certainly worked as the game became a scrappy affair in the middle. The defence kept their discipline and Hereford, with their frustration growing pushed more men up. It was capitalised upon in the 61st minute as Matt Rose’s vision launched a swift counter attack, finding Dick roving down the right wing. The full back swung in a cross, Negri volleyed powerfully, and though it was saved, the rebound was followed up by the unfortunate Ian Wright for an Own Goal and it was supposed to be game over. Justin Wiseman was brought on for Jo Murphy and Owen hoped his side would see out the rest of the match with little to worry about. Wrong. A few minutes later Phil Gray hit the bar and not long after that he scored to bring it back to 3-1 – seemingly not a huge crisis, until he then scored again within 3 minutes and there were still more than ten minutes to play. Nerves were in abundance, as Worcester resorted to some ugly but effective ball hoofing, in a not-going-to-be-my-problem kind of fashion. It became a very tense affair, and was only settled for good in the final minute when, with the visitors pressing hard, Justin Wiseman carried the ball forward and unmarked lashed home a brilliant 35 yard effort into the top corner – a most splendid way to end a derby contest. A fantastic win,

[Brian of Nazareth]

The Talbot

The usual Uni quartet are accompanied by Darren Middleton, Sven, Matty R and Matty A

“ So Applehead!†Rod always had a fondness for starting new friendships a bit weirdly. “ Why did ya join us?â€

“ Ah, Barnsley’s a bit of a hole you know?â€

“Not really.â€

“Well it is. Nah, seriously I had a good time there, but it wasn’t working out and I wasn’t in their plans. I wanted games even it meant dropping a level or two. Get the games in put yourself in the show window and all that!â€

“Fair dues. And after the Hereford game you got no regrets?â€

“Haha no! You lot are much better than I thought you were!â€

“Patronising git!†Drew interjected.

“Sorry! Didn’t mean it like that, but generally conference level surprised me a lot. Promotion seems always possible here!â€

“It’s probably like that at around ten other clubs at the moment.†Dick replied. “ Everyone’s pretty equal and can beat one another, so it’s all up for grabs!â€

“Though we got Jeff to be fair.†Cynical James added. “ All that money from his up and coming business just appearing out of nowhere!â€

“Oh give it a rest Mr Paranoid! It’s not as if he’s loaded is it! Owen’s bought eleven in which is effectively a new side and is fair enough!†Rod rebutted his friend. “ Anyway, Drew, pool, now?â€

“Sure.†As the pair went off to play the others carried on talking about the side’s form, and Sven was introduced to some proper British Ales, as well as the cocktail favourites. Getting him hammered was possibly a bit unfair on the lightweight, especially as he then appeared to have slept over the following day with a 'headache'.

[Brian of Nazareth]

--

“ Sven! Where were you this morning! Are you hungover?!â€

“Sorry boss, I was liking the drink but the others gave me more and I couldn’t say no! I want to conversate with the people and be part of club!â€

“You can do that without getting drunk Sven! Look just go home and rest up! In your condition I don’t expect you to be out socialising til you’re completely fit understand?â€

“Yessir, I understood.†[/i] The little German walked out forlornly clearly ashamed to have got into trouble so soon into his career, but Owen secretly wasn’t too unhappy, it was good to see the players bonding and uniting, always the sign of a strong side, made all the more happier following the excellent win over Hereford a game that had the local rag purring and Jeff delighted.

That was what was wanted – just without the idiotic frantic lack of focus in the final period. His happiness was checked momentarily though when Jeff passed down the news they’d been drawn away to Nuneaton Borough in the FA Trophy, but it didn’t last long. Birmingham’s bid for James Taylor was rejected out of hand and in front of the young defender who seemed quite happy to carry on developing at St. Georges. His bid for Kjell Andre Thu fell through, but the opportunity to bid for the wonderfully named Didrik Faegri soon arose. He was only 16 and not much cop right now, but he’d be a great gift for the PA man on match days.

In midweek Dick was informed of a sizeable bid from Birmingham again, who called back as they claimed mistaken identity over players, but the defender was unwilling to move. Owen had made him captain for a reason, but had always decided to respect his ambition. Luckily he saw his immediate future with the rest of the lads – and it was always cause for celebration.

Unbelievably before he’d even had time to lock down his office before heading home, Birmingham called back again, this time with a bid for James citing they were right the first time, and presumably having sacked their scouts – it was crazy and Owen just left the phone hanging as Karen Brady carried on babbling away for ages. It probably took her a good ten minutes to realise there was no-one on the other end of the line, though her frustration was no doubt soothed when she set eyes upon the next unfortunate city player to be lured in to her hairy lair.

Personally, away from football his life was pretty dandy, or what life there was anyway. Football had consumed him more or less everyday and there was little escape. Even after the Hereford match and on the Wednesday night he could be found with Sally watching England in the play-offs with Austria. The two of them were as happy as those bloody peas, and most nights just as snug. Contact with his old mates, Lee and Mossy had become a little sporadic over the summer but they were popping back to see how the team were getting on from time to time and they always met up for a good chat now and then. The England match in midweek turned out to be a bummer for all concerned though as the magnificent England contrived to blow a 2 goal first leg lead and fail to qualify for the World Cup for the first time since Graham Taylor’s ill fated reign. With both Ireland and Scotland also qualifying it had turned into a real sickener.

The escape from club football didn’t last long though, with the reserves at home to Chester the next day. It was a chance for Matty Appleby to continue his fitness work, with Salmon, Bradman and Heimgartner also receiving starts. They all passed admirably in the 1-1 draw as assistant Paul Davies showed there was life in the old dog yet with a crafty curler deep into the second half.

[Brian of Nazareth]

On the day Peter Elmander arrived for a small fee and Jon Holloway was in discussions about a move to Alloa, Darren Middleton decided to crash his car on the way to training and not play football for the rest of the month at least. Still, it didn’t distract from the preparations to face Chester . Despite being another tough away match, Chester were 19th and off form, so Owen elected to go with the same style of play which had reaped rewards against Hereford. He and the side were well aware that a win would move them level on points with top side Doncaster, albeit having played a game more with this weekend an FA Cup one, and Worcesters’ match was the only one in the league.

Still a chance to put the points on board is not one to be wasted and it seemed to be in the players’ minds too as they set off at a rollicking pace. Appleby in central midfield was really taking to his new team mates well, and they were enjoying his rather evident class too. The hosts were being overrun from the off, and it was no surprise when talisman Marco Negri notched his eleventh goal of the season on 16 minutes, converting a Richard Gell cross – another header too. At the Deva Stadium, the hosts were abject and amid all the shots rained on goal, they’re own petty response was to take out Negri with a vicious challenge which shockingly wasn’t penalised. Scans later revealed the forward had ligament strains and it was touch and go as to whether he’d be back in time for the Christmas period. With Darren also out it was tough blow for Owen.

Still, tackles like that do have a habit of bringing about a form of Karmic revenge and Worcester went berserk in the second half, as every player seemed to be on fire. They all shot, they all created chances for one another and it was a one way match, with just the one worrying stat – it was still only 1-0. After another broken down attack Chester had the temerity to launch a riposte of their own. It failed but it really peed the side off, and instantly that elusive second goal was sought. Rod ran down the left wing, more or less pushing away his challengers, played in Appleby – his run and shot was blocked but Matt Rose came steaming in to thump in the rebound and seal the points. Justin Wiseman then replaced man of the match Gell in the closing stages and it was his cross that allowed David Beharall to add a well earned gloss to the score-line and also his first for the club.

-----

The satisfaction from that comprehensive away win was immense – he offered plenty of words of praise to local journo Benny Broadhurst, who was keen as ever to fill the pages. Allowing the lads Monday morning off too he wasn’t all unsurprised to see many of the lads enjoying the nightlife later on, whilst he took Sally out to dinner. Not that he minded. The club were second, clearly in form and he was so getting some after forking out on a ridiculous 40 quid a head meal for the pair of them.

The next day as he lay in bed, stretching out beside the beautiful body of his gorgeous wife, he couldn’t stop smiling. What a damn good night it was. She couldn't believe he'd let her do that move he'd seen on the wildlife show either - and boy had it worked, even the neighbours knew it worked. Now, literally shagged out his jaw muscles were beginning to ache from smiling so hard.

He flicked on the radio and when it came to the sports section he let out an involuntary cackle. Birmingham City manager Trevor Francis had been fired. No doubt for not being able to make his mind up as to who he wanted to bid for. There was further amusement at Celtic’s plight in Scotland. 14 games in and only one place off the bottom – how bizarre, and on local radio he wasn’t surprised to hear that Jon Holloway had left to join Alloa. He was a good lad, but just far too crap to get into the Worcester side.

[Brian of Nazareth]

With the players in good shape, Owen elected to make a few changes from the starting line up for the trip to Nuneaton in the FA Trophy. Having already defeated the convincingly this season, confidence was high, but their hosts had home advantage and had started to pick up some form in the league. Mike was given a chance to not be such a sullen brat and play, whilst Mark Tucker came in at centre defence alongside Siros. There were starts too for Andy Ellis, Justin Wiseman and a first start since injury for Kaba Diawara up front.

The match itself turned out to be a very even affair, with chances a plenty for both sides – although it was still somewhat against the run of play when Nuneaton opened the scoring on 24 minutes. It had come right after Fotiadis had ballooned over from 6 yards, to make it all the more annoying. Mark McGregor exploited Giorgos’ lack of height in defence to head in and score his first goal of the season. It buoyed the home side who for a short while were the team most likely to score again, before Worcester began to get their form back together again. In the 39th minute a low Taylor drive hits the bar and bounces into Fotiadis’ path but the striker can’t quite direct it past the goalkeeper, but the equaliser did arrive just before half time and deservedly so when a loose ball in the area is picked on by Diawara first and the Frenchman celebrated a return to fitness with a well taken goal.

The second half certainly produced a similar pattern of play, and it was hard to separate both sides. Joanne and Justin were playing particularly well though and just after the hour mark the pair combined to make it 2-1. Appleby’s free kick was chested down by Joanne and her neat flick allowed Wiseman to crash in the volley. However, as was the norm with this game the lead didn’t last, and annoyingly it barely made 5 minutes when Neill Rimmer crosses to an unmarked McGregor who suddenly has decided he’s a goal scorer after all and it was 2-2. It stayed that way until the end though, with Worcester exerting a little more pressure, but for Owen, he was just fairly content to have not been knocked out straight away in the cup tie.

The return leg a few days later would allow for the others who had been rested a chance to re-claim their place in the line up and Owen went to see Warren to check on all his players’ fitness a day before.

“ Hey Warren, anything to report?â€

“ Well Ray Woods is back in action!â€

“GREAT! He’s still never playing in the first team you realise?â€

“I just thought – â€

“wrong, my friend – you thought wrong!â€

It was a brief conversation. Ray, a porky smoker was not going to be considered ever fingers crossed. As he walked out to the pitches where the drills were being practiced by the players, he spotted Sally approaching out of the corner of his eye.

“ Hey babe.†a quick kiss. “What’s up?â€

“Just thought I’d let you know, if – sorry when we beat Nuneaton tomorrow, we’ve got another away tie…â€

“Please don’t be a conference side.â€

“It’s Dagenham & Redbridge.â€

“Arsefish! Almost no point trying to win the replay then is there?â€

“Don’t be silly! If you beat Dagenham we’d be in with a great shout of winning the trophy.â€

“Yeah that’s true I guess. Anyway how are you doing?â€

“Owen… we need to sort the house out! It’s a complete shambles at the moment! We need to redecorate!†To be fair it was true. They had barely given it a serious thought since moving in permanently in the summer. Walls were pasty white, and in need of repair, something a few cunningly placed posters and paintings couldn’t quite disguise. However now was hardly the best time to think about it.

“ Eh? We’ve got a game tomorrow and then preparations for the Christmas run – we could have 7 games if we get past Nuneaton? I agree love but we don’t have much time right now do we?â€

“We just need to chat about it that’s all, look after the weekend match we’ll have a couple of days to talk about – just give Paul a training session or two, or bring in another coach or two – you always seem stretched as it is out there. Now you’ve got a decent team together you need a hand…â€

“Yeah, I suppose. Ok, well I’ll talk to Jeff about bringing in some more staff, and I’ll see you later.†Owen watched his wife walk off towards the car park, allowing his eyes to linger on her pert arse a moment or too longer than was perhaps truly necessary.