The Toast Of The Village

[JoeyBaldwin]

Despite it being a warm summers evening, the fading light was beginning to prompt the patrons at the Two Brewers pub to move inside.

“Mind your knee Dan, there’s a step”, said Harry Brookland, mindful of the anterior cruciate ligament that his long-time midfield partner Danny Evans had snapped towards the back end of the 2015/16 season, while playing for Chipperfield Corinthians.

 “Ooh, injury friends!”

“Get out Tim”, laughed Danny, taking a sip of Chenin Blanc. Harry himself had suffered from knee tendonitis a couple of years previously, and had missed six months of that particular campaign. He was aware, more than most, of the limitations Danny would be struggling with throughout his recovery.

“How long you out for?”

“Indefinitely, it sounds like. Might have to try and make myself useful helping Roy manage you lot!”

“The South Africans are still looking for a manager aren’t they? Why don’t you stick an application through international special delivery?” The three friends burst out laughing at the thought.

“So long as you pay for it, I’m not wasting £20!”

 

An enjoyable night, Danny thought, an enjoyable night with the lads. His girlfriend Megan was still awake when he hobbled out of the cab and into their Bovingdon flat. They’d been living together for two years now, with her role as Head of Marketing at a sports management company in London allowing them to live in moderate comfort on the edge of Hertfordshire.

“You don’t smell of alcohol as much as I thought you would”, teased Megan.

“Megan, get this, yeah, I’m applying for the South Africa manager’s job, cause you’re my best mate”, Danny slurred. His excellent impersonation of a drunk was a regular occurrence following a night at the pub, and Megan, who’d learned long ago to expect it, sighed in bemusement. “I’m only messing, I’m not drunk. The lads were talking about becoming a football manager what with my injury stopping me from playing. Timmy chucked me £20 for me to send my CV in to the South African FA – gonna do it for a laugh, of course”.

“Well, good luck with that. I’m gonna get to bed; some of us aren’t too injured to work!”.

[JoeyBaldwin]

“Lads, you’re not gonna believe this! South Africa replied!”

Danny’s application for the South Africa manager’s job had caused hilarity amongst the Chipperfield FC group chat, with many expressing their surprise that he was still in the country, given his newfound penchant for international job-seeking.

“Look at this:

‘Dear Danny.

On behalf of the South African Football Association, I’d like to thank you for your interest and application for the role of Manager. On this occasion, we’ve decided not to invite you to interview. We wish you the best of luck for the future.

Kind regards,

Dennis Mumble’

Pretty cool eh?”

“If they’re replying to you, imagine what a decent non-league club might do? They might offer you an interview, then who knows? You could be a proper football manager! You could be the England manager one day!”

“You know there are plenty of manager’s jobs going in the lower tiers of the game Danny. If your injury stops you from playing, and you still want to be involved in the game, why not have a look through and see if there’s anything you like?” Roy Banks, the Chipperfield manager, didn’t share Tim’s prior over-exuberance, but he was being serious, and the thought had crossed Danny’s mind several times since the awkward landing that had sidelined him. “There’s a few local jobs going I think – I used to play for Holmer Green, and I hear they’re looking for a new man to come in”.

 

A builder by trade, Danny’s injury had essentially rendered him unemployed. He’d received a small amount of compensation from his employers, but he hated relying on Megan’s income to sustain the pair of them. Did he love football? Absolutely he did. Did he feel like he had a good understanding of the game? Well, it’s all opinions, isn’t it? Did he have the strength of character to be a football manager? Hmmm…

Danny looked over at his sleeping girlfriend. It would have to be a local job, if any – he had his doubts that Megan would be wholly supportive of the idea, especially given the lack of job security, never mind if they’d have to move . In the end, as he began to fall asleep, he made a mental note to search the Holmer Green website tomorrow - no harm in looking, he reasoned.

[tenthreeleader]

Looks like fun. More lower league work on the boards -- good luck!

[JoeyBaldwin]

“Hi Roy, how are you doing?”

“Very well thanks, just been running through my squad selection for our friendly tomorrow at Broadfields. Yourself?”

“Excellent, I’ve got some very good news – as far as I’m concerned, anyway. I’ve got myself a manager’s job!”

“Really? That’s fantastic mate!”

 

Danny was having an excellent week. He’d worried about Megan’s opinion about his new chosen career path, but he needn’t have bothered – she knew how much he loved the game, though she did suggest that she didn’t want to move. “I knew it would have to be a local team”, Danny told her, and with that her only potential barrier had been broken down. He’d applied for five jobs, all within the Spartan South Midlands Premier Division, and he’d been fortunate enough to have interviews at all five, despite his lack of coaching badges and prior experience.

In the end, the £1,500 wage budget for new players proposed by Oxhey Jets chairman Stephen Linley had been enough to persuade him to join, albeit somewhat ironically on an amateur contract. The other four teams didn’t even come close to that wage budget figure, and when Danny had considered his options, the opportunity to work with a budget that would allow him to reshape the squad was too good to turn down.

Located in South Oxhey, a suburb of Watford, Oxhey Jets were formed in 1972 and have never won a trophy in their 45-year history. The club finished 17th in the Spartan South Midlands Premier League last season, taking just 36 points from their 42 league matches, and Simon Franks, a sports journalist for the Watford Observer, has already predicted another season of struggle – ‘without significant improvement, this could well be the season that Oxhey Jets fall out of the Spartan South Midlands’.