American Calcio - Padova FM 2008 *repost*

[tenthreeleader]

Thursday, October 25

We are getting some positive publicity this week with a nice mention in Italy’s Gazetto Dello Sport Serie C writeup.

They did a story on the early leaders and noted our “strong attention to defence”, which they could hardly miss since we’ve conceded only three times in our nine starts to date. They, like everyone else, seem to notice that Novara is a goal-scoring machine and complimented them on their approach to the beautiful game. I compliment them too, in fact. If I had offensive fluency like they’ve got I would be looking forward to next season’s Serie B fixture list by now.

It’s a bit ironic in a way. Novara plays the attacking game I’d like to be able to play and the way we’re winning now is sort of the opposite of how I had hoped we would win, if we were fortunate enough to do so. We are the club choking off our opponents to get results and they are the ones playing with the style and flair I’d love to see.

It means I need to be adaptable. Everyone wants the big immediate turnaround in fortune after taking over a job but not everyone can have it. From my point of view, it looks like I’m one who can’t. So we’ll do the best we can with what we have and see how far we can advance.

# # #

Again I have talked about an opposition player with the press. This time it’s Cremonese’s Gabriele Fabio Graziani, a four-goal man who plays with a lot of desire. The scouts agree with me that he can be a match-winner and after our success against Borsoi last week, perhaps it’s worth another try. Yet, Cremonese is a better side than Ternana so far and Graziani is really a fellow who can hurt us.

# # #

Friday, October 26

This weekend’s schedule doesn’t seem to stack up very well for us. We are in a second-third matchup against Cremonese while Novara heads south to play at Manfredonia, the club we put up five goals against a few weeks back.

So there is pressure on us – obviously, playing at home will lead to heightened expectations most of the time anyway but in a top of the table clash that pressure will be more pronounced. Novara will be favored to take the points away from home, so they have a different kind of pressure on them, but putting the two squads down on paper I’d have a hard time imagining a Novara defeat.

So as we prepared for the Saturday night day the journos asked my thoughts about the upcoming match. “I think we have a good scheme in place for Cremonese and we’re looking for a lift at home,” I said. “If we can draw a crowd and get a good atmosphere in the place we should be able to put on a show.

“Are you watching the result between Novara and Manfredonia?”

“I am and I’m not,” I said. “We’re getting toward the one-third mark in the schedule but it’s a bit early to be hanging on every opposition result. They’re all important, we track the scores every week but I won’t put pressure on these players by saying I’m scoreboard watching before the first of November.”

I was asked about my striker situation and I got a chance to talk about Muzzi and Varricchio as a strike partnership. It’s starting to come together and since both of them netted last week they will stay together for Sunday’s match.

“I’m happy with how they are playing and Muzzi’s pace is better than I expected,” I said. “For a man 36 years of age he has a surprisingly good turn of speed and now that he’s a veteran he has well learned how to use it constructively. Young players seem to blaze all over the place and sometimes it gets them taken off early when they run out of gas. Part of the maturation process is learning how to harness physical ability and he has clearly done that. I feel very good about putting him out there.”

# # #

Perhaps emboldened by its success in prognosticating last weekend’s results, the press again thinks the American manager is nuts in his evaluation of Italian talent.

The dailies are in agreement. “Gabriele Fabio Graziani is not the match-winner claimed by Padova manager Rob Ridgway,” Il Padova wrote. “Biancoscudati should be able to handle the Cremonese attack without worry from that quarter.”

I read the words today after training and smiled. “If it’s so easy, why don’t they come and do it?” I asked Masolini, and my deputy grinned in reply.

“They’ll be too busy playing their weekend league games,” he explained. “Then they’ll ask why we didn’t get the job done.”

I nodded my head. “And they always get the last word,” I answered. “Typical.”

# # #

Saturday, October 27

With the squad on a light day before tomorrow’s home match, I started my attention toward Wednesday’s return to the Serie C Cup, where we will travel to Serie C2B Igea Virtus in the first leg of our second round tie.

This will be a match where, at minimum, we’ll be expected to score. The tie was drawn the way most managers seem to prefer, with the away leg first, and we’re playing weaker opposition so we ought to be all right.

My main decision lies in how I approach the match. With consecutive midweek cup matches I’m going to have to call on some squad players again to get us through.

With both Wednesday’s match and a Sunday trip down the A4 to face Hellas Verona in the league to worry about, the squad is going to get another test.

At this point, while jockeying for league position, the cup can’t take priority. The squad players will get the lion’s share of the playing time on Wednesday. The board has its expectations in the Cup but especially since I can’t hold players out for Wednesday with a tough match on the way tomorrow, I’m going to have to roll the dice and make do.

It would certainly nice to have more money, a bigger squad and the ability to put two separate elevens out there like the big boys can. Maybe someday. But until my team gets promoted at least once, that’s a pipe dream. So choices like I have had to make sometimes make themselves.

And tonight I had a very nice talk with Patty to make the evening go a little faster. She is still nervous about what is now officially a pending visit by our old friends from England. I don’t like it, but more than anything I don’t like the thought of them making her nervous.

Time was when I didn’t have a right to feel protective of her. Now I do, and since I can, I intend to take full advantage.

We are ready for tomorrow and now, for the first time in a long time, I’m ready to defend my life. I feel darned good about that.

# # #

[tenthreeleader]

Sunday, October 28

Padova 1-1 Cremonese

There are days when it’s just plain fun to show up at the ground and watch your team hold its opposition to one shot on target in ninety minutes. And then there are days like today, when we did it and still had to split the points.

An immensely frustrating afternoon at Euganeo was made even more so by the fact that our largest crowd of the season – 5,432 spectators – saw us play on a day when the weather forecast was right, the day was oppressive and the home side should have won.

I woke up this morning to a day already hot and humid. We were told to expect quite warm weather and the day we got was every bit of that and then some. It was already 81 degrees when I got out of bed at seven o’clock – extremely warm for the time of year – and by the time I left for the ground it was ten degrees warmer than that.

There was a storm in the air when the players reported for the match. By the time we took the pitch for the warmups, I knew it was only a matter of time before it started to pour. I stood in the tunnel, watching the weather roll in, and wondered how long we’d have before the conditions really started to deteriorate.

I turned to Masolini, to my immediate right. “We need to get out to a good start,” I told him. “When it starts to get bad, we don’t want to be chasing the game.”

He nodded his agreement and together we planned to press their back line early and try to force possession deep in their half of the pitch. I was looking for a smash-and-grab start for as long as the players’ stamina would allow it.

My team talk was fairly similar to what it has been of late: it’s a good day to win, so go out and do it. With that, we stepped into the steambath that was Euganeo and prepared to do battle.

# # #

It was 35 degrees Centigrade when we kicked off, and the wind was starting to pick up. Something bad was on the way in and as the match started, both teams were a little tentative.

They seemed to run into a brick wall trying to get into our penalty area, though, with Vasco Faísca and Sacchetti virtually impenetrable in central defense and Gotti especially effective in shutting down the right side of their attack.

The conditions really hampered our game plan, though, and about the only thing working for us early on was keeping pressure on their back line. We used it to best effect just before the half-hour and we used it to open the scoring.

Once again, it was Baú who did the hard part, finding space on the right to put the ball into the box for Varricchio, who volleyed past Salvatore Sirigu to get the crowd out of their seats and cheering for a time. The teams then slogged their way to halftime.

There wasn’t a lot of energy in the changing room at halftime and that worried me a bit. The players took fluids to combat the humidity but I was more pleased with the fact that Cremonese hadn’t had a shot attempt, much less a shot on target, in the first 45 minutes.

“You’re doing a great job on Graziani,” I told Sacchetti. “Keep working on him. Let the heat get to him and let him chase the game.”

We then went out for the second half and the first raindrops began to fall shortly after the kickoff. Cremonese pressed forward, and just as it started to come down hard, Graziani struck. He picked up a loose ball just inside our area and hammered a quick shot past Orlandoni to get them level four minutes into the second half.

Forty-nine minutes of immaculate defensive work had just been flushed in one quick strike and we were back to blank paper.

The rain started to come down harder and that made it more difficult for both teams. We wound up with five attempts in the second half and none of them were on target in the increasingly wet conditions. By comparison, four of our seven attempts in the first half required keeper Sirigu’s attention.

I wouldn’t say we were wasteful, but I would say that there were moments I had a hard time seeing the Cremonese goal through some of the rain and wind. So I couldn’t blame my players for having trouble.

By the end of the match, many of the crowd had seen enough and were already swimming back to their vehicles. Unfortunately, something else had happened that didn’t make me happy either.

Rabito finished work on his first yellow card suspension, and he’s only played in six of our ten league matches to this point. Here, the suspension comes after four yellows, and it’s already our third suspension overall this season.

I will expect better discipline out of the team from this point forward, primarily because we are not deep enough to withstand both our present spate of injuries as well as suspensions from cards. We don’t have the depth and more accurately I don’t have the patience.

Yet as we trudged to the changing room to dry off, I got the most surprising – and irritating – news of all. Manfredonia had pulled a shocker, beating Novara 2-1, and our draw meant we not only couldn’t leapfrog them, we actually dropped a place in the table to third due to the Serie C1 tiebreak rules.

There is definitely good news and bad news here – with six wins and three draws in ten matches, we haven’t lost in eight starts. Yet, we are third behind Novara and Cremonese, and Sassuolo still hasn’t lost yet. We’re going to have quite a race.

However, for once I had the last word with media. As we all stood looking like drowned rats in the interview area, I opened the questioning for once.

“That Graziani isn’t so bad after all, is he?” I asked.

# # #

[tenthreeleader]

Monday, October 29

We’re in the middle of another series of midweek games which means it’s getting increasingly difficult for Patty and I to make time for each other.

It’s frustrating. We haven’t seen each other since we got back from Rome two weeks ago and the phone messages and e-mails we’re exchanging are a little bit wistful in nature.

No one said it would be easy to be involved with me in the first place, much less as a manager found I really had of a club that demands my total commitment. But last time I checked, I am still a human being and that means I have human needs I need to meet.

She sent me a note this morning before I left for training and also for Sicily. Igea Virtus is the longest road trip we will make all season. “Getting close to the end,” she observed. “I miss you.”

“The end of what?” I asked myself, as I read the note and wrote a reply.

“I hope you mean the end of the biennale,” I replied.

“I sure don’t mean anything else,” she teased. “I just hope you can make time for your girlfriend sometime soon.”

I sighed. She didn’t mean to hurt me with that, I was fairly sure, but my schedule is certainly hurting her. I leaned back in my chair and had a hard time holding back my frustration. She is going to be dealing with McGuire pretty soon, on her own, and I feel absolutely powerless to help her. That’s a terrible feeling. I’d just like her to come to Padova and be with me for a few days but given her job responsibilities, that isn’t terribly likely.

So she’s suffering. And we miss each other. Other than that, everything’s just peachy.

# # #

Our morning session was active, because it’s the only one we’ll get to prepare for Wednesday’s match. Igea Virtus is the fifth-place club in Serie C2B but it’s also in Sicily, so we’re spending all day tomorrow traveling.

I have a number of changes I want to make for our visit to lower league opposition. One will be in goal. I want to get Cano a game and since he was the club’s regular goalkeeper last season I need to keep him sharp and in a state of mind approaching happy. Orlandoni has played in every league match so far so Cano, who has worked hard in training, deserves a chance to play.

I’m also switching out both my central defenders. Sacchetti and Faísca have both played in every league match to date and I’d like to rest them. I’m putting a higher priority on Sunday’s league match at Hellas Verona, especially since the first leg of the Cup tie is away and we still get to play our home match next week.

This will give me a chance to give games to Donadoni and also to loan defender Andrea Guglielmi, another Lazio youngster who hasn’t been able to break into my first team. The supporters aren’t so keen on Guglielmi, who has seen limited duty as a substitute and when he’s been on, hasn’t exactly set the world on fire.

Like De Cristofaris, Guglielmi isn’t one of Lazio’s top prospects. We’ll need to get promoted before those sorts of players will be headed our way. And along the way I’m learning a lesson about which players to accept from parent clubs. The supporters want players that will help the club win and if I accept whatever the parent club decides to give us, we may not get those players. This calls my judgment into question.

That, and the fact that I need to show some benefit to the club for the arrangement we have with Lazio, makes this part of my job a bit tricky at times. We do what we can, though, and sometimes the squad cover comes in handy. Like this Wednesday, for example.

De Cristofaris may also get to play. He knows he’s running out of chances so my hope is that he’ll make the most of the opportunity if he gets it. We will still be favored to win despite the heavy use I am making of squad players, and he knows he’s at the top of the list of people I’m watching.

So there is plenty of incentive out there for the players who are in the XI. We’ll just have to see whether it’s enough.

# # #

Tuesday, October 30

The bookmakers have installed us as 1-2 road favorites for tomorrow night’s match, which has me both happy and cautious at the same time.

Obviously, I like the idea that we’re getting some recognition for our strong start. However, the added expectation – especially on the parts of our supporters who are making the long trip to Barcellona Pozzo di Gotto for the match – won’t help.

Still, of course, that’s why we play the game. You aren’t on the pitch if you don’t have a certain measure of ego.

I’ve played with and against players who were complete head cases. They wanted the ball all the time when it mattered and when they failed, it was never their fault. I don’t have any players like that in this squad, but the fact of the matter is that you don’t play professional football if you don’t think you are better than the next guy. So a certain element of expectation as we head out tomorrow won’t kill us.

My main goal tomorrow is to get at least one away goal. With as many squad players as I’m putting out there, that would be a very nice return for us. I don’t think they’ll give us a huge amount of trouble in attack, and at least I have a very strong bench for the match should it become necessary.

Gentile is getting the start in central midfield and Stefano Mazzocco, out of favor since his early season injury due to Music’s excellent play, will start on the left.

Vedin has done well to win the starting role and despite his advancing age and declining skill set, he is getting every ounce out of his ability and that helps the club. But at age 33 I can’t play him three times a week so Gentile is getting the call.

As a central defender, I could play three times in a week if I really needed to, right up to the end of my career. The position usually didn’t involve a ton of hard running and with my fitness good right up to the end of my career, I could answer the bell on the weekend and again at midweek without too much trouble.

But for older players, especially those in hard-working positions like the engine room of the midfield or the wings, it can be a lot more difficult. And if your fitness isn’t up to snuff, it’s frankly impossible.

The eleven I have to play tomorrow night should be able to get the job done. At least, in the eyes of the bookmakers.

I told the press today that rather than expecting a huge victory, I expected a good, solid effort from my players. “They are like any other team we play and they deserve our full respect and attention,” I said. “I will make sure this happens.”

# # #

Getting there was the issue. We left at 6:00 this morning from Euganeo and traveled all day to reach Reggio, just across the Strait of Messina from Sicily.

From there, we waited for a ferry to take us across the Strait to Villa San Giovanni. Crossing the Strait is an experience – the narrow channel contains a natural whirlpool and is quite dangerous in poor weather conditions – and the uninitiated observer wonders why there’s no bridge across the water.

Anyone who asks gets an education in Italian politics. Every five to ten years, they debate whether to build a suspension bridge across the strait, which would be the longest and tallest in the world by a considerable margin. Former Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi, who also happens to run AC Milan, favored a bridge but current Prime Minister Romano Prodi doesn’t. New elections are coming in the spring and if Berlusconi wins, I’m sure the bridge will be right back on the agenda.

That didn’t help us today, though. We waited for the ferry, crossed onto the mainland, and resumed our travel. When we arrived, we were ready to stretch out and sleep. It’s not the best travel environment for scoring an away goal.

# # #

[tenthreeleader]

Wednesday, October 31

Igea Virtus 0-4 Padova

Well, we didn’t score one away goal.

I am stunned by how well the squad players did tonight and as a result our second round Serie C cup tie is virtually done and dusted thanks to an explosion at Carlo D’Alcontres.

We scored early, we scored often, and we scored repeatedly, and the squad players did most of the work. They did so well, in fact, that I didn’t make a single substitution in the entire match – even De Cristofaris made it through the whole ninety minutes.

As a squad, we’re in a pretty good mood at the moment and it’s carrying over into our travel. The players aren’t bosom buddies or anything like that, but good relationships forged in winning are always preferable. And that is what we are building.

The weather was also much better tonight. We went from 35 degrees Centigrade on Sunday to 11 this evening, a chilly night which made for a touch more comfort on the part of the players. That certainly helped.

Gentile’s attitude was also a big help. He reacted quite well to my words to the media yesterday, and I could see intensity in him that really pleased me to see. In fact, it was so good that if he hadn’t been in the XI already I might have put him there on the basis of his attitude alone.

The squad players dressed a bit nervously, knowing the supporters expected much from them. I stepped to the front of the room and the first thing I did was try to calm nerves.

“Play within yourselves,” I urged. “You can do this. I don’t want you thinking about how many goals you’ll score tonight because if you do you won’t score any. I want your attention focused on the play you’re making, one thing at a time. Play for each other, work hard for each other and remember that you have the quality to get this job done.”

With that, Anaclerio led the team onto the pitch as captain, since both Crovari and Paz were being held back to rest. Almost from the opening kickoff, Anaclerio bossed the game.

We started very strongly, with the squad players giving me effort I hadn’t yet seen from them. Immediately, we started creating chances and it didn’t take us long to break through.

After Di Nardo whistled a shot inches side from fifteen yards, we put the ball in the net through a play of excellent quality. Paponi rose at the edge of the six-yard box to head home Gentile’s inch-perfect cross from near the left touchline just eight minutes into the match.

We were off to a flyer and if you had told me before the match we’d get our away goal less than ten minutes into the contest I’d have frankly been thrilled. Yet, we kept up the pressure and I really started to appreciate Gentile’s intensity. Mazzocco shook loose down the left and brought a fine ball from Anaclerio to ground with a deft first touch. He then provided from the left and Gentile was the one to smash home a perfect cross, leaving Giuseppi Adriano Di Masi stranded for the second time in fifteen minutes.

Now two goals to the good, we smelled blood and began to pile forward looking for more. Rabito, whose suspension on cards in the league didn’t affect his Cup play, barely missed from the right edge of the penalty area five minutes after Gentile’s goal. Di Nardo screwed a shot wide from twelve yards on the half-hour when it would have been easier to score.

Yet once again, we got the ball wide before halftime and made it count. Rabito, who was playing the right side in place of the resting Eder Baú, took a very nice flick-on from Paponi and got the ball wide, crossing for the onrushing Di Nardo. Our height and strength up front was really starting to show now and Di Nardo outmuscled defender Fabio Accardi to head past a shocked Di Masi. It was 3-0 three minutes from halftime and the crowd of 2,326 looked on in stunned silence.

All three key positions in the 4-1-3-2 had already cashed in with goals. I honestly couldn’t have asked for better, and as a result was happy to shift into a straight 4-4-2 at halftime already in command of the tie.

“Fabulous,” I smiled as the players took their halftime rest. What else could I tell them?

In the second half, though, we had to contend with an Igea Virtus side plainly challenged by its manager. Ezio Castelucci had a determined look on his face as his team took the pitch for the second half, and I guess I shouldn’t have blamed them for it.

They created a few decent chances and stung Cano’s hands a few times in the first fifteen minutes of the second half but for the most part had to settle for long-range efforts that didn’t accomplish anything.

Our advantage in the wide positions led to our final goal on 67 minutes. Again it was Rabito who provided, and if Baú weren’t such a good wide player I would have myself another viable right-sided option for the first team. He was that good. This time he stepped inside a challenge just outside the Igea Virtus penalty area and got to the byline before pulling a wonderful little cross back to the center of the box. Gentile muscled up past the hapless Accardi and scored with some ease to crush the home team’s last resistance.

After that it was simply a matter of running down the clock and not conceding. Though Igea Virtus eventually equaled us in shots on target at 7-7 and actually exceeded us in attempts by 19-16 after we pulled back with a four-goal lead, we had the ball in much better locations on the pitch. Our advantage in the wide positions was what won the match.

Even the makeshift central defense did well – Guglielmi too – and the result was a lot of happy Biancoscudati as we left the pitch worthy winners.

“That’s the kind of performance I could have only dreamed of,” I admitted to media. “To come here against a club that is playing well in its league and put four away goals on them, that’s pretty special. We have a lot to be proud of tonight and I have a lot of players who deserve credit.”

The coach ride home was noisy and fun despite the length of the trip. The players are happy and we have this tie by the throat. Sometimes this game can be a lot of fun.

Then I checked my e-mail as we started the long slog home. Some of the fun went away.

# # #

[tenthreeleader]

Thursday, November 1

The new month is here, I had my monthly chat with the board late this afternoon after arriving home from Sicily, and I’m trying to figure out when I might be able to get to Venice.

The answer, for me, is “probably not soon enough”. My e-mail last night was from Patty, saying she had seen Peter McGuire at a Biennale mixer last night in Venice and wasn’t happy about it.

So he’s here. The only question now is whether he brought his wife with him. Patty is distraught and I can’t blame her a scrap.

I spent the early morning on the phone with her. She called me at 5:15 this morning. “I’m sorry I woke you up, Rob, but I haven’t slept all night and I just had to talk with you. What should I do?”

“The only thing you can do,” I answered. “Do your best to stay away from him and if he bothers you or threatens you, get to the authorities.”

“He has this way of getting what he wants,” she said, and I could tell she was crying.

“Not as long as I’m around, he doesn’t,” I said. “He’s tried to push me around and I’m not scared of him. If you have any problems with him, let me know. It’s time for the garbage to stop.”

# # #

I do have a bit of an interesting dilemma, though, as we prepare for Sunday’s trip to Verona.

I’m completely focused – I do tend to get that way when I’m angry – and after yesterday’s Cup performance, my entire squad is focused as well, though we’re going to be leg-weary after the long trip home from Sicily. Players who did well yesterday are after a regular place and those members of the first team squad I rested are in fierce competition to hold their places. In short, it’s an ideal situation for a manager.

There are certain people who I have to get back into the squad, especially for a road game. Muzzi and Varricchio are playing well and need to play, but I was very impressed with Paponi at Igea Virtus and he’s the kind of player who can wreck an opposing team all by himself at this level. So he gets the substitute’s role over what will surely be the protests of Di Nardo.

Baú was on a wonderful run of form before being rested last night. Even though he’s still down in the dumps, he’s going to get back into the XI because Rabito is suspended after his fourth yellow card of the season last week. Gentile gets the central midfield role by default.

Sacchetti and Faísca get their central defender roles back, Paz and Crovari are returned to their usual places, and hopefully that will mean moving from strength to strength. Their legs are fully recovered from last Sunday and we had a very good team training session this morning as a result.

My morning media gathering was also positive, which sort of had me wondering when the roof was going to fall in. Winning 4-nil away seems to do wonders for general impressions of my competence and the questioning I got today wasn’t whether my squad rotation was going to work, it was more along the lines of would I continue it for the return leg.

“I’ve got players who have performed very well in the league so far and players who have done quite well in the Cup,” I said blandly. “That doesn’t mean I can’t change them out from time to time and go with an impulse I feel is right. We have good competition for places at certain spots on the pitch at the moment and I plan to watch that competition quite closely. It’s good for the club, it’s good for the performance of my players and in the end, it will hopefully be good for us in terms of our progression up the table.”

# # #

My hope is that the club draws more so we can stop the steady financial slide we’re in. That slide is one reason why we didn’t hop a plane for Sicily this week and we’re paying for it through tired legs.

The board made that hope clear to me as well during my monthly meeting today. Though they are not as yet concerned about the club’s bank balance, we are losing money at a rate fast enough for them to notice it.

“We will continue to bankroll the current squad,” I was told, “but we hope attendances will continue to rise. This is very important to the long-term health of our club.”

“Promotion would be better,” I thought to myself. “And we’ll need money for that.”

However, vocalization of such thought probably wouldn’t have been the best idea for my job security, so instead I simply nodded my head. If I want new players, I’m going to have to make this club a lot more money than it has at present. So the main point of the meeting was made without a word being said about it.

# # #

Friday, November 2

Most of the regular first-team will be restored to their places for Sunday’s match at Verona. After today’s training session I realized I can’t move most of them out of their regular spaces.

We’re playing well despite being in third place, we’ve lost only one of our first ten matches and as long as we keep progressing I have no reason to make major changes. So we’ll head off to Verona with many of the same XI that unfortunately drew at home to Cremonese last week. At least it’s a shorter road trip.

Happily, as I’ve already mentioned, Gentile will keep his place after his brace against Igea Virtus due to Rabito’s suspension. There’s no need to worry about replacing him. Sometimes things do work out for the best and I hope Andrea will be able to bounce right back after playing Wednesday.

Verona has already established itself as a defensive-minded squad, nearly as good as we are. However, they’re even more offensively challenged than we can be at times, which is why they’re eighth and we’re third. In their first ten league matches they’ve scored just five goals and already have three goalless draws to their credit.

It’s also a derby match of sorts, as a regional rivalry. So there is a bit more media attention than normal, made even more noteworthy due to the match being between two teams in the top half of the table.

We also had penalty drills today to close out our training session. I’m not happy with the way we’ve been taking them and especially in this league, once you get penalties you had better take them. With the logjam at the top of Serie C1 at the moment, a missed penalty can make two or three places worth of difference in the table.

Baú wasn’t very good from the spot today and Muzzi was better, so I may elect to make a change. Also, Eder’s state of mind isn’t helping his chances either. He’s still down and depressed and I really don’t know if that’s a good way to be taking penalties.

I can’t get inside his head either, and today I asked Masolini to talk with him. This is the sort of thing I don’t want, especially around a winning eleven. I need to know what’s bothering him so I can fix it, if it’s football-related. Goodness knows other problems can certainly affect a man – I’m going through it now myself.

# # #

It never ceases to amaze me what kinds of stunts some people think they can pull.

I had a hard time understanding a few things when Patty called me this evening. She was quite upset and as a result we are going to meet up tomorrow to give us some badly needed time.

At tonight’s event, Peter approached Patty and struck up a conversation with her, with Kate nowhere in sight. It was as if nothing had happened between them, and when she talked with me tonight it sounded like she was reliving a nightmare.

She started out in control, but as the words began to come out faster and faster she sounded like the verbal equivalent of a runaway train.

“What on earth did he say to you?” I asked.

“He said he was happy to see me again,” she began, as her tears began to flow. “Can you believe his nerve?”

“You’d think he’d have at least said something like ‘gee, I’m sorry I was married when I met and used you’,” I said, and she was able to smile a bit through her tears.

“You’d have thought that, yes,” she replied. “He asked me how I was doing, how my experience was in Venice, just like it was old home week.”

To me that meant only one thing. “He thinks he can control you,” I said. “He was trying to show you that he’s in charge. He thinks he’s got the situation in hand and he has you in his hip pocket.”

“Well, he doesn’t,” she said, beginning to show a measure of defiance.

“Good for you,” I said. “Now come over to see me tomorrow and I promise I’ll make you forget about him for an evening.”

# # #

Saturday, November 3

The news today is that I’ve decided to change my penalty-taker (again) for the short term. Muzzi will get the responsibility until Eder’s mood changes.

We had a light training session today and a little video work before I sent the squad home for the afternoon. Aside from our long-term injury situation, we are in reasonably good health for tomorrow’s match and I’d sort of like to keep it that way.

The best part of the day, though, was seeing Patty for the first time in almost three weeks. We met after training outside the players’ gate at Euganeo and she greeted me with a huge hug and what I presumed was her first smile in several days.

“Hi,” she said. “Hide me?”

# # #

[tenthreeleader]

Sunday, November 4

Hellas Verona 0-0 Padova

I would love to say that my inspired decisions in squad selection and tactics brought us a vital road victory today at Bentegodi. But if I said that I’d be lying and I hate that, so I won’t.

We ground to a screeching halt this afternoon as Verona’s five-man midfield ran the risk of boring us to death. It was a defensive, tactical match even as hard as I tried to find an opening to exploit.

Today’s result was disappointing for a number of reasons, which I’ll get into as they arise. Our trip from Padua was without incident and we took the pitch to the largest crowd in Serie C1 for any single match this season – 8,875, which fired up my players as well as the home side. Verona is the top-drawing club in the league and if you can’t get up to play there, there's probably no place in the league where you could.

That said, I almost imagined I could smell burning rubber and burning brakes as Verona’s midfield immediately strangled the supply from our wing players. Their 3-5-2 stopped the 4-1-3-2 with a fair bit of ease but part of that was due, I thought, to having a few tired legs in key positions.

The rebound I was hoping to see from Gentile didn’t happen and he was a non-factor for most of the match. I can’t blame him for that – the central midfield role in my tactic is pretty active and two matches in four days is a big ask. But with the attention Verona was paying to Baú and Music, I needed a midfielder to step up. When that didn’t happen, we didn’t look much like scoring.

That is, until the 34 minute mark when we beat them over the top. Baú’s entry ball found Varricchio and he cut sharply to the middle to test keeper Rafael. Defender Lorenzo Sibiliano, left in Varricchio’s wake, reached out and when he did, all he grabbed was shirt. Referee Andrea Corletto was not amused.

He pointed to the spot and Muzzi gleefully grabbed the ball. He placed it on the spot, waited for the referee’s whistle and damned if he didn’t hit the worst penalty I’ve ever seen right into Rafael’s chest. The keeper was knocked over by the shot but Sibiliano bailed out his keeper by clearing the rebound into touch.

I stood on the touchline, ready to tear out my hair. I didn’t want to do anything that would show anger but really, I didn’t have much choice. I finally threw up my arms in disgust and we got on with the job.

We’ve now missed three of our last six penalties and it’s getting old. Halftime arrived and I tried to find something constructive to say to the squad, which sat in a sort of daze around the central table in the visitors’ changing room.

“Just relax and play like you can,” I finally said. “Getting a goal from open play, last I checked, counts the same as a goal from the penalty spot. They aren’t going to hurt you the way you’re playing defense today, so go and win this for yourselves.”

We created a couple of decent chances in the second half, but even a switch to 4-3-3 to try to counter their midfield dominance didn’t help. We had five shots on target, one more than Verona, but when Corletto blew for full time it was a richly deserved draw.

And it doesn’t appear that Muzzi will be taking penalties for awhile, as he left the game with a strained neck twenty minutes from time. It looks like he’ll miss at least a week, maybe two, and will surely miss both our return leg against Igea Virtus in the Cup and our home match against Pro Patria on the 11th.

Rafael was man of the match, presumably for stopping Muzzi’s penalty, but considering how poorly it was taken it wasn’t a surprise to me that it stayed out of the goal. Roberto was pretty upset with himself, realizing that his miss probably cost us two more points, but the other teams in Serie C1 did us additional damage today as well.

That was the other annoying thing. We’ve lost once in eleven matches but Sassuolo is still unbeaten and leads with 23 points. Then five clubs – ourselves, Cremonese, Novara, Venezia and Monza – are all on 22. Venezia gained two points on us thanks to scoring four goals away for the second straight week. This time they won, though, topping seventh-place Foggia 4-3. We are officially third in the table on tie-breakers now, so the goalless draw we had today away from home actually hurt us in the table.

After all was said and done, I was a bit surprised to see our traveling support applauding us off the pitch. I’ll certainly take it, but frankly I don’t think we played anywhere near as well as we’re capable. At least it wasn’t a loss.

# # #

Emiliani had the first crack at me in the post-match news conference and it was all I could do to avoid smiling at the reporter who had suggested I change penalty takers earlier in the season. I wound up taking his advice for reasons unrelated to his column.

“Anyone else in mind for penalties?” he asked, and finally I managed a rueful smile.

“Can you take them?” I asked, and he snorted out a laugh in reply.

“It’s your job to find someone,” he reminded me, and I can guess what his next column will look like.

“I can’t deny that,” I said. “For now, though, we’re leaving a road venue with a point and that is what we have to build on. We have business to tend to in the Cup this mid-week and after that I will be looking for better from this squad when we are at home next weekend.

“Maybe even from the penalty spot,” Emiliani cracked, and this time my return gaze wasn’t so friendly. Yet, even as upsetting as the comment was, I can’t argue it because he’s right. And I hate when the media is right.

# # #

[tenthreeleader]

Monday, November 5

We’re preparing for the visit of Igea Virtus on Wednesday in the second leg of our Cup tie and the main thing I’ll have to deal with is overconfidence on the part of my players.

Honestly, a four-goal haul in the road leg is reason for some people to think the tie is over, and even I have to admit it would take a minor miracle for us to be overhauled on our home pitch. Yet, my job is to prevent the kind of complacency that might lead to such a shock result.

Part of that will be to get the players who were so good in the first leg back onto the pitch for the second leg, while making sure they understand what made them successful the first time. We were very good playing the ball down the flanks at Carlo D’Alcontres, and I know we’ll be looking to duplicate that success at home even as we prepare for what they’ll do to try to stop us.

So the chess match is going to begin. I’ll have Rabito back in the starting XI because I can’t ask Gentile to give me three matches in eight days. His effort, brave though it was at Verona, wasn’t what was required and he needs to rest. So I’ll give him that opportunity with no hard feelings.

I also won’t have Muzzi, so Paponi will be restored up front along with Di Nardo for the second leg with Varricchio waiting in the wings after playing ninety minutes yesterday. The rest of the XI will be the same as it was for the first leg and the players who got their chance last week see it as just desserts for the job they did.

So far, there’s enough football to keep people happy. There are advantages to having a relatively small squad and this is one of them. The injury list, for now, is manageable. We have enough games to keep most people in the XI on a more or less regular basis. Unless they are complete clots in training, they’re going to get out there sooner or later.

And the best of it is, the busy stretch is ending soon. After our match Wednesday and Sunday’s home match against Pro Patria, we have two weeks off before a showdown matchup at Novara on the 25th. I’d love to get Patty to Rome again, but that week also coincides with the end of Biennale and she’ll be far too busy to get away.

I’d love to take her away from McGuire for a week but that doesn’t seem like a likely possibility. I will, however, be able to be around her – and yes, to protect her if necessary – and that will help a lot.

# # #

I also have a real issue with Emiliani, whose column came out today. He has taken the high ground on our penalty situation and was critical of me, not for following his advice, but for choosing the wrong man. In so doing, he made it personal. I saw this coming, and foresight hasn’t made me any less angry. He wrote:

“As the Americans are fond of saying, ‘one out of two ain’t bad’. Removing Eder Baú from the penalty spot was a correct decision by manager Ridgway but one must question his choice of Roberto Muzzi to replace Baú in the all-important penalty area. The fluency and potency of Padova’s play has resulted in quite a few penalties being awarded and it simply won’t do to keep spurning those chances.

The issue with Ridgway to this point has not been his nationality, and neither has it been his occasionally maddening tendency to stray away from club matters to devote more time to the personal than he ought. It is an unwillingness to play to the true strengths of his squad and above all an unwillingness to learn how Italians play this game that will prove to be his Achilles heel.

‘Exceptionalism’ is the term some Americans use to describe how they see their place in the world. Given that he has had one-third of his season to get the penalty-taking right and has yet failed to do so, one wonders if this term will ever be used to describe his ability to manage a football club. Much less our football club.”

I love back-seat drivers. Or, not.

# # #

Tuesday, November 6

I had a bit of a hard time holding my temper today with media after today’s training session. As we say in the States, Emiliani “got in my kitchen” with his column and I didn’t care for it.

The squad’s mood is decent. We’re disappointed we didn’t do better at Verona but the fact we were on the road was enough to stop our mood from sinking into gloom. It’s an odd thing, team morale – we’re third in the table and we’ve only lost once, but we lost ground to other teams after Sunday and we feel we should have done more. As a result, despite being third we aren’t real happy about it.

In a way, that’s good – ambition is obviously key to any long-term progress we hope to make as a club – but at the same time, a road draw is not necessarily the end of the world. I think it is a bit odd that some people need to be cheered up after we go away from home and come back with a point, but that was the mood at training today.

And, not surprisingly, my players have read the papers and see Emiliani as a second-guesser. I do too, at the moment, which was a reason for the reaction I gave today after the session was over.

I felt it was time to back my players, who have done just about everything I could have asked of them over the first one-third of the fixture list. We’re in the Cup, with a commanding advantage in our current tie, and performing at least to expectation in the league, all while staying under budget.

So to have Emiliani’s opinion so stridently put was upsetting to some of the players. It was my job to put that right and I tried to after the session this morning.

I was asked about the squad for tomorrow night and I replied that many of the same players who had performed so well would get return engagements in the return leg.

“And what about penalties?” Emiliani asked, and I zeroed in on him.

“Stefano, I don’t know,” I said. “Maybe you should tell me. And this time, don’t hide behind your column.”

“What does that mean?” he challenged.

“Figure it out,” I snapped. “You wrote I should change penalty takers. For reasons unrelated to your petulance, I did. You then questioned my selection. How much more pressure are you going to put on these players? What good are you going to do by questioning every move I make? You may sell more papers and you may get a few more people walking up to you on the street and telling you how right you are, but honestly, what good will it do?”

“I ask the questions here,” he said.

“And I give the answers,” I said. “My answer to you is that if we get a penalty, I’ll make the decision. And since you evidently don’t have anything constructive to say, I’ll expect you to abide by that decision. If you’ve got something to say, by all means, say it. But if you’re just going to take potshots at my players, let’s just say you’ll get a warm reception in my changing room.”

“Did you practice penalties today?”

“No.”

“May I ask why not?”

“Because we’re ahead 4-nil on aggregate with four away goals,” I said. “If they score four times on our pitch and it winds up going to penalties, I’ll be perfectly happy to revisit my position, assuming I still have one. In the meantime, I do reserve the right to run my senior squad in the way I choose.”

# # #

[tenthreeleader]

Wednesday, November 7

Padova 2-2 Igea Virtus

It wasn’t the best of performances, but thanks to our strong road match last week, we are through to the second round of the Serie C Cup.

Again, we started quickly but suffered a noticeable dip in concentration and form in the second half with the tie firmly in our charge. As a result we wound up with a home draw and two away goals against us. I found neither fact especially pleasing, but again the squad players did a good enough job to move the club along in the competition.

I was also disappointed by the size of the gathering at Euganeo for the second leg of the tie. Some clubs have “fan nights”, as I’ve mentioned before. We must have had “Friends and Family” night tonight because just 2,782 showed up to see the match. It’s not as though our visitors brought a huge gathering either – the length of the trip saw to that, as it did for us last week.

I wanted the mood kept light, especially with such a big lead. “Don’t press tonight,” I urged the players as we prepared for warmups. “But don’t let up. You earned this lead with a hell of a match on their pitch last week. Don’t waste it. Remind them why you’re ahead in the tie and keep your boots on their necks.”

We then went out and for the most part, did what we were supposed to do. This time, our early chances wound up coming through the middle of the park for the most part, with Rabito barely missing on a free kick from 25 yards out on sixteen minutes.

Paponi’s power led to the first goal of the game just after the half-hour. His rising strike was parried by keeper De Masi’s acrobatic save to his right, but the best he could do was push the rebound right at Gentile, whose eyes were as big as saucers at the unexpected gift. He slotted home for his third goal of the tie to make it 1-0 to us on 31 minutes.

We kept up the pressure, and ten minutes later it was Paponi’s turn to shake loose. This time we did it the way we had scored all four away goals – with an inch-perfect cross. Rabito was the provider from the right, and Daniele’s header found the lower left corner of De Masi’s net to make the aggregate score 6-0 as we broke for halftime.

Even Emiliani couldn’t have much to say about that scoreline, and the players were looking pretty pleased with themselves after 135 minutes of hard offensive and defensive work. I wasn’t done with them, though, not by a long shot.

“Play to the finish,” I urged them, “and finish what you start. Let’s go for the clean sheet tonight and leave no doubt about who the better side is.”

And for the first twenty minutes of the half, we did just that. Our defensive play was immaculate, we were inviting Igea Virtus onto us and hitting them with quick, accurate passing in the counter-attack, and I couldn’t have been more pleased with how we were playing.

Then, in a space of five minutes, everything changed. My mood changed along with it. Guglielmi made the first mistake in central defense, overplaying Marco Fina to the wrong foot. Antonio Montella’s entry ball found Fina with a step at the top of our penalty area, and it wasn’t hard for him to beat Cano to his right-hand post on 74 minutes to get them onto the scoreboard.

They showed their delight at scoring on us, and I was rueful about a mistake made by a player who can ill afford to make them if he wants playing time. But four minutes later, Cano was fishing the ball out of his goal again as they beat us straight up Route One. A long ball from the back hit between Anaclerio and Donadoni, and before either of them could react Montella had latched onto it. He worked slightly to his right to clear himself of the suddenly desperate Donadoni and launched a fine strike into the top left corner of Cano’s goal to give them two away goals in five minutes.

That one, frankly, upset me. It was schoolboy defending and I was as upset about the communication issue as much as anything else. “What do we practice for?” I shouted angrily as the happy Igea Virtus squad retreated back up the pitch for the kickoff. “Talk to each other!”

The five-minute lapse in concentration was soon rectified, though, and we made it through the rest of the match without any further damage. I was left to rue a 2-2 draw made more palatable by the fact that we had gone through with a comparatively gaudy aggregate score, but still, we hadn’t beaten a Serie C2 side on our own pitch. That didn’t make me too happy.

I would have smiled at the prize money we won had the club not needed it. Winning in the first round of the Serie C Cup earned us the staggering sum of €3,000, which I strongly suspect the club will spend all in one place.

At least we’re in the hunt for more in the second round. Our opponents will be Società Polisportiva Ars et Labor, known as SPAL, which is in second place in Serie C2B. Perhaps their most famous alum is Fabio Capello, who has won major championships at Roma, Milan, Juventus and Real Madrid.

Thankfully, he’s not SPAL’s manager at the moment so I feel reasonably confident we can give them a good two games.

After the match I had plenty of time to praise Gentile’s play, especially since he scored half our goals in the aggregate victory. “That is the kind of form so important to the central midfielder in my tactic,” I explained. “Andrea has done a tremendous job over the last week and I’m very happy for him.”

Across the way, Emiliani looked on with a blank expression. I chose not to pursue the issue with him and figured I didn’t need any more trouble. I made my point with him yesterday and I’m fine with how it was done.

# # #

[tenthreeleader]

Thursday, November 8

With just a few days remaining on our current stretch of games, we’re preparing for Pro Patria’s visit on Sunday that will complete the cycle.

They’re struggling a bit and for them it’s a question of deciding whether their glass is half-full or half-empty. On the positive side, they have earned points in over half their matches. On the negative side, they’ve won two of eleven starts. I suppose the negative is more accurate, since they’re 14th in the table.

We will probably have dropped a spot or two by the time we play on Sunday as well, since Cremonese and Venezia are in action on Saturday. Cremonese plays away to Citadella, which is currently dropping like a stone after a strong start, and Venezia has a key matchup at home to Monza, one of the sides in the cluster of teams at the top of the table. My money would be on our rivals in that one, considering their recent offensive form. If I were allowed to wager, that is.

I did my video work on the visitors earlier in the week so the video session with the senior squad was both comparatively organized and short. Again, we’ll be rotating players into and out of the XI for this match. Yet with two weeks off coming up I made it quite clear today that if the first team wasn’t up to the task on Sunday, I had options shown to me by the squad players against Igea Virtus.

In short, I’m looking for better, especially on our home pitch. It doesn’t look like we’ll have much room for error this season so when we’re at home we have to make an impact.

# # #

Meanwhile, Patty has been holding her own this week in Venice, hoping to keep her sanity in the face of Peter – and now, Kate – showing up nightly at functions.

Tonight she had a dinner to attend and it went pretty well. Yet as she turned to leave, she nearly ran over Kate, who had decided it was her turn to make an introduction. Patty’s heart went straight to her throat.

“Patty?” Kate asked, with a nice smile.

“You must be Kate,” she answered, and my former girlfriend extended her hand to my present girlfriend in response.

“I’m happy to meet you,” Kate said, and inwardly Patty wondered if Kate could have any idea what had happened in the recent past.

“Likewise, I’m sure,” Patty answered.

“Look, I’m sure you’re uncomfortable and I apologize for that,” Kate said. “I know Peter had talked with you the other night and you were pretty upset.”

“Sometimes it’s hard to see an old acquaintance,” Patty replied as diplomatically as she could.

“I understand,” Kate answered. “It can be very hard. I understand you’re seeing Rob Ridgway?”

“If you must know, yes, I’m seeing Rob,” she said. “I know you were an item with him some years back.”

“Almost married,” Kate replied, with a smile. “It didn’t work out but that doesn’t mean I stopped caring for him. He had a hard time after we broke up.”

“Like you didn’t,” Patty thought to herself, remembering Kate’s note I had shown her early in our relationship.

“Yes, but what brings you here in your condition? I understand congratulations are in order -- your husband told me that you’re expecting another baby.”

“This was important enough for us to make the trip together,” she explained. “Our client wanted us both present to handle his appearances and it’s certainly worth that to our business. How do you like the night life here?”

It all seemed so odd to Patty and finally she said so. “I like it fine,” she said. “Please pardon my changing the subject, but can you please tell me why you’re here making nice to me when I once had a relationship with your husband?”

“Because you are important to Peter,” she said. “And you’re also important to Rob, I expect, and since I wrote to him awhile back I am curious to know how he’s doing.”

Patty’s head started to feel light, her discomfort growing by the second. “Rob’s fine,” she said, “though I don’t see as much of him as I’d like during the busy times of the season.”

“That’s football for you,” Kate smiled, before finally excusing herself. “Patty, it was lovely meeting you.”

“Thank you, Kate,” my girlfriend answered, feeling like she had just been released from the rack. “Please pardon me for the awkwardness – it’s just that Peter…”

“Don’t worry,” Kate finished. “Sometimes he’s pretty abrasive and I think you probably know that as well as I do. He doesn’t mean anything by what he says or does sometimes. He’s a busy man and sometimes he loses sight of the fact that other people are important too, and they deserve respect.”

“Then how come he’s in his line of work?” Patty blurted, and Kate gave her a surprised expression.

“He’s good at what he does,” she said, with the smile still on her face. “And I know you probably don’t think much of him. Just please know that he’s not out to hurt anyone.”

With that, she left, and Patty looked after her with an expression of amazement.

“Like hell he’s not,” she said softly, as Kate turned a corner and vanished out of sight.

# # #

Friday, November 9

I called both Baú and Muzzi into my office before training this morning to try out a theory which might upset both players but which I hope to use to end our troubles from the penalty spot.

“Look, fellows, I know you’ve both wanted to take the penalties we get and you’ve both had successes and failures,” I said. “But we are in a position in the league where we can’t afford any more guesswork. So here’s what I’m going to do. Eder, I’m putting you back into the penalty role with the understanding that you need to score to stay there. Roberto, the same goes for you. I want to see results – hell, I have to see results – and this is about the only way I can think of to get them that I haven’t already tried.”

Neither player looked happy, but then I made my point.

“We’ve tried it your way all season,” I explained. “And our statistics from the penalty spot aren’t very good. Now we’re going to try it my way and see what happens.”

# # #

I also had a “clear-the-air” meeting with Emiliani today. My point was made clear to him, but he was upset that I made it in front of other reporters, which served to embarrass him.

In a way, that was fine with me, since his column certainly embarrassed me. I didn’t start it. So we’ve come to an understanding.

“It’s not going to affect how I treat you,” I told him. “But I will tell you this: if you go after me in print, I’ll reserve the right to respond. Obviously I am not above criticism in this job but I do expect it will be fair criticism or I’ll take my own steps.”

“I get to express my opinion and you know that,” he said.

“Of course you do,” I said. “But surely you aren’t naïve enough to believe that I wouldn’t defend myself if I have to?”

“Of course not,” he said. “You need to understand that my readers expect pointed commentary and I will give it to them regardless of whether you like how it makes you look.”

“I understand that as well,” I said. “But in the end, it would be easier if you and I get along. I won’t embarrass you if you don’t embarrass me first.”

# # #

Saturday, November 10

We will head into tomorrow’s match fifth in the table after two of our rivals scored successes today.

Cremonese won 1-nil at Citadella and Venezia defeated Monza by the same score at Pierluigi Penzo. They both leapfrogged us so there will be added pressure on us to defeat Pro Patria, as we’re expected to do, tomorrow.

Our brief training session today unveiled a focused Eder Baú. He still isn’t happy, but his frame of mind appears to be better than it was earlier in the week. It’s not optimal, but I’ll take it. I need his skills out there.

I will say this, though: even though Eder is in a bad way, he does his level best not to let it affect his play. The phrase “model professional” was made for him and he has done everything I’ve asked regardless of his mind set at the time I do the asking.

He plays hard, has wonderful technique, works to get his teammates involved in the play, and when the time is right, he seems to have a knack for putting the round thing in the goal. Not always from the penalty spot, but if that can be fixed I’ll have quite a useful player indeed.

# # #

Also, the Biennale will end next week. This is a great relief to Patty, who is about ready to be done with the festival and all it entails.

Of course, this includes Peter and Kate, who had another meeting with Patty this evening amid another try to ‘make nice’. She’s about up to her eyeballs with it and can’t wait for them to leave.

She called me tonight and expressed her emotions. Thankfully, she was in a bit better state tonight and everything didn’t seem to come out in one long word.

“I’m so tired, Rob,” she said. “I don’t mean to complain but I really could sleep for a month when all this is done. I just don’t see any reason for all this contact with them and even though I’ve hinted at them staying away from me I don’t have the nerve to say it.”

“You could, but if you aren’t comfortable, let me do it for you,” I said. “After tomorrow’s game we’ve got time off and the squad is going to take a break. If you want help I will come to Venice and give it to you.”

“Are you sure you want to?” she asked. “After all, there’s press there just about every night and if you were seen…”

“…it would be defending my girlfriend and I have no problem with that,” I said. “Let me help you. Patty, you’ve fought them alone since they got here and that just isn’t fair to you. I should be with you during all this and believe me, just say the word and I’ll be there.”

# # #

[tenthreeleader]

Sunday, November 11

Padova 3-0 Pro Patria

Note to self: to ensure success, anger Eder Baú.

It took my winger just 26 minutes to complete a first-half hat trick this afternoon as we easily dispatched Pro Patria to reclaim third place in the table.

In so doing, however, the Pro Patria players and supporters gained no respect for referee Marco Piotto, who awarded two more penalties to us today. Thankfully, Baú dispatched both in clinical fashion, but a rather amazing statistic is coming out now and it may cause trouble for us later on this season.

In our first twelve league matches, we have been awarded seven penalties, in addition to several more in the Serie C Cup. Our total of awarded penalties leads the league by three, and when people start their tongues wagging, I’m concerned they may ask about referee bias.

Some people would do that anyway, of course – this is Italy, after all – but both penalties today were of the stonewall variety, even if a frustrated Pro Patria side didn’t agree with Piotto’s conclusions.

We had a decent crowd – 4,315 today – and a nice late fall day on which to watch the match. They saw the home team come out and take the game by the scruff of the neck, which really pleased me. Before the game I challenged the players to make it a show, and they did.

We came out flying. Varricchio and Paponi both came close in the first five minutes, and then we used some good hard work to get on the scoreboard just eight minutes into the match.

This time it was Music – who was excellent again today – doing the hard work on the left, jinking past a defender deep in the Pro Patria half and getting to the byline for the deep cross he knows I prefer. He lofted a useful ball into the six-yard box and I could see Varricchio steaming in for his trademark piledriver header.

But he never got there. Central defender Júnior stuck out his hip and caught him just before he jumped for the ball. I looked at referee Piotto, the crowd roared expectantly, and he gave the penalty.

Immediately, he faced a horde of angry visiting players, not least of which was Júnior. To his credit, the official simply turned his back to the crowd of players and pointed to the spot, where Baú was already waiting with the ball.

The crowd joined the manager in a collective holding of breath as Eder put the ball on the spot. He then relieved all the pressure by dispatching a clinical spot kick into the lower left corner of Luca Anania’s goal to put us one to the good just eight minutes into the match.

He gave me a look of relief mixed with triumph and we then proceeded to play quite a fine stretch. We didn’t have another scoring chance until the 28th minute, when the unfortunate Júnior completed a rather torrid first half of activity by holding Varricchio back by his shirt in the penalty area to stop him reaching Baú's entry ball.

Again, Piotto pointed to the spot and again, Pro Patria’s players went nuts. And again, Baú carefully placed the ball on the spot before smashing another clinical penalty past Anania.

Sometimes things in this game do indeed go in cycles, and I was left to reflect on this happy fact as Baú celebrated his second successful conversion of the first half. The crowd was up and singing, the Pro Patria players were upset and out of their game, and most importantly we were two to the good.

They were rattled, and it showed through just eight minutes later when Crovari found Baú on a searching ball to the right touchline. About twenty-five yards from the byline, Eder lofted a ball into the six-yard box looking for Varricchio, who had stormed past Júnior and appeared ready to pounce.

This time, though, it was different. Anania stood on his line, before realizing Varricchio would be first to the ball. Too late, he moved out to meet the onrushing striker, and as he did, they both misjudged the flight of the ball. Flailing at it with an outstretched arm, the ball flew over both Varricchio’s noggin and the keeper’s outstretched fingertips. It flew into the top right corner for a third goal that was both a complete fluke and a marvelous stroke of luck for Baú.

He stormed off to the corner flag to celebrate and my only misgiving was that there weren’t more people in the stadium to celebrate along with him. Baú’s hat trick was completed, Pro Patria was down for the count, and there was still eleven minutes until halftime.

We piled forward in search of a fourth, smelling blood. It didn’t come, but it hardly mattered. We ran off to the changing room at halftime in high spirits and I certainly did nothing to diffuse the good mood.

The second half was a formality, as the visitors simply tried to stop the bleeding the rest of the way. They had one shot on target in the first half and none at all in the second, as we cruised to an easy victory. I wouldn’t have minded seeing a fourth goal but I was well satisfied with the three we had.

As a result, we had quite a comfortable second half, Baú walked off the pitch with the match ball tucked under his arm to celebrate his hat trick, and we had gained back the two places in the table we lost yesterday. All in all, a very fine day indeed.

“That’s what I want to see!” I exclaimed, as the players gathered around for the post-match team talk. “Get on them early, score often, and then watch them beat their heads against our defense. Well done to everyone but especially to Eder Baú!”

Everyone – even Muzzi, who knew a good performance when he saw one – applauded the loan winger, who got a smile on his face for the first time all week. And well he should have.

# # #

The second biggest cheer I got came when I gave the squad the next week off. We don’t play again until Novara two weeks from today and with the stretch we’ve just had the players can use a break.

So they scattered, heading to plunge pools and showers, while I went to face the media. This time, Emiliani had nothing to say to me about the performance.

“Who decided on the penalty taker?” he asked.

“I did. Who did you think would decide?” I replied.

“Obviously, a correct decision,” he answered.

# # #

The logjam continues at the top of the league, though. Sassuolo kept its unbeaten streak intact, dismissing ten-man Foligno 2-0 at home to move to 26 points. We’re third, still with the one loss to go with seven wins and four draws. We didn’t overhaul Venezia in the tie-breaker, though, so they are still second also on 25 points. Cremonese is also on 25 points, but Novara slipped badly, drawing 1-1 at tail-end Lecco in what had to be a hugely disappointing result for their flying circus.

Novara fell two points behind us on 23, and Monza showed what will happen to clubs in the top six who lose, falling all the way to sixth place on 22 points.

We are past the one-third mark of the season and as I gunned my car off to Venice, I smiled at what we’ve accomplished. We deserve a break and we’re right in the thick of the league race. It’s a good time to pause and celebrate.

# # #

[tenthreeleader]

Monday, November 12

I’ve never been much for formalwear and I’ve never been much for art, especially of the modern variety. I have, however, been one for Patty, and it was in that context I put my misgivings aside this evening.

In the last week of Biennale, I finally got a chance to see what my girlfriend does for a living, and I finally got a chance to come face-to-face with the individual who is trying so hard to humiliate both of us.

I spent my afternoon holed up in Patty’s apartment while she worked, before putting on my tuxedo late in the afternoon. Finally, I headed off to one of the local display galleries where the evening’s event was being held.

Patty and I arrived at about the same time – just before dinnertime, which was covered by heavy hors d’oeuvres and wine. There were glitterati everywhere and I noted, uncomfortably, that my picture was being taken as I walked into the gallery. I wondered why they would want one, figured they had erroneously concluded I actually was somebody, and walked on.

“I can still see my girlfriend,” I reminded myself as I walked into the room. From the opposite corner of the main hall, she saw me and advanced, resplendent in a tasteful evening dress that flattered her red hair perfectly.

“About time you made it here,” she smiled, slipping into my arms for a brief and tasteful reunion. “Tonight I’ll show you how the other half lives!”

I accepted a glass of wine from a waiter and toasted her beauty. “I think I could use a little high society,” I smiled. “Especially when it looks like you do.”

# # #

The evening itself wasn’t that bad. I strolled around the gallery, pretended like I knew what I was looking at, and from a distance watched Patty move smoothly around the room.

I appreciated her grace and style, especially in a time when Americans can be regarded with disdain overseas. It didn’t seem to bother her and the people she was with didn’t seem to mind either.

Finally, she caught up to me while I looked at something that appeared to be a bunch of black squiggles on a large white canvas. Undoubtedly it had a hidden meaning inherently obvious to people who can see such things. She took my arm softly while I tried to give the impression I knew what I was looking at. Her arrival surprised me.

I wheeled, startled, and her ready smile seemed to burn its way into me. “You looked lost in thought so I figured I’d change the subject,” she teased, and I looked down at her happily.

“I sort of needed rescuing,” I admitted. She moved close and I enjoyed her warmth as we looked at artwork.

Together we repeated the circuit and we simply enjoyed each other’s company. After the busy schedule of the last few weeks that was quite an enjoyable diversion. And as we talked, we could both feel the pressure falling off us. Couples are supposed to be together for a reason and we learned first-hand what it was.

We cut quite a nice figure, actually, and this pleased both of us. “Aren’t we supposed to be slow dancing right now?” she smiled, and I laughed out loud.

“You got me into a tuxedo,” I said. “Don’t push your luck.”

“You don’t want to dance with me?” she pouted, turning down her lower lip just so.

“You don’t want a broken foot,” I protested, but she hugged me playfully in response.

The evening was about to end. We turned the corner for the front of the hall. And then I saw them.

# # #

I made eye contact with Kate first, and five years of pain flooded back into my mind. Patty saw my moment of consternation, and as I controlled myself, she squeezed my arm tightly.

“I’m here for you,” she whispered, and I had never appreciated her presence more.

My eyes met Kate’s and it felt like a tidal wave of unspoken feeling as our gazes locked for the first time in five years. I shook my head slightly to rid myself of a lightheaded sensation and grabbed onto Patty’s arm.

“I love you,” I whispered, and she looked at me with a wide-eyed expression.

“You have no idea what that means to me, Rob,” she replied, in an equal whisper. “I love you too.”

With that, they approached and I met my tormentor face-to-face for the first time.

“So you made it after all,” McGuire said, holding Kate as I was holding Patty. “Didn’t I tell you to stay away?”

I looked down at him disdainfully. “You don’t tell me anything,” I scowled, managing to control my anger. “You wrote me from out of the blue to insult my integrity, you came to Italy to pick this fight, and you walked over here just now. Don’t start another fight, McGuire, or I might just finish it.”

I turned away, taking Patty gently by the arm. Then I realized I wasn’t done, and wheeled back to where McGuire’s angry gaze shot daggers at my back. “Oh, and stay away from Patty,” I warned. “You’re bothering her and if you keep doing that you’ve got trouble you don’t want.”

“I did warn you, Ridgway,” he repeated. “People who cross me soon learn not to do it again.” His arrogance was as annoying as it was out of place in such a high-society setting. It was all I could do not to double my fists in response.

“You warned me,” I sneered, mocking his tone. “You don’t scare me, little man. Get out of my face and stay out of our lives.”

All this time I had managed not to look at Kate, which was probably for the best. Her eyes caught Patty’s and the look Kate received in exchange said what needed to be said: “Tell your husband to lay off.”

Kate got the message. “Honey, this isn’t the time or place,” she said. “Let’s don’t make a bigger scene than we already have, all right?”

He glowered at me, and turned on his heel to leave.

“Write when you find work,” I said to his retreating back. I could see the back of his neck turn bright red and saw Kate’s grasp on his arm tighten.

I shook my head as they walked away. “He really doesn’t have a clue,” I said. “In a way, I feel sorry for him.”

Patty squeezed my arm again. “Don’t,” she said. “After how he lied to me, how he lied to Kate and for what he wants to do to your reputation, please don’t.”

# # #

[tenthreeleader]

Tuesday, November 13

I wish with all my heart that I hadn’t gone to this evening’s event. After five years of emotional reconstruction, I’m again in turmoil, and it all happened tonight.

Patty and I spent a lovely day together before leaving for the evening’s exhibit, across the city from last night’s. It was all the same as before – my freshly cleaned formalwear was even the same – and the night moved on almost exactly as last night.

Yet this time, when we made contact with them this evening, he was nowhere to be found. Kate walked alone up and down the rows, and it seemed odd to me that this would be the case. From time to time she consulted with her client and watching her work seemed to be just like watching the old days go by.

We enjoyed not having as much pressure on us and as Patty and I moved smoothly through the gallery, I thought I might actually be able to get used to this sort of life once the football gods have chewed me up and spit me out.

The food was excellent, the wine was flowing freely and before long, Patty was whispering in my ear.

“Rob, I have to go back to the office for a bit,” she said. “I’ve left some material there that I need. I’ll be gone for about twenty minutes, okay?”

I nodded, she kissed me goodbye, and I was left alone. I turned, and Kate had somehow managed to occupy Patty’s place.

My eyes grew wide with surprise, and she smiled up at me. “Surprise,” she said, and I looked down at her as I had so many times before.

I took a deep breath. “Hello, Kate,” I said, my voice feeling like it would squeak.

“Hello, Rob,” she replied, in the same honeyed tone that had driven me to distraction years ago. “It’s good to see you under less trying circumstances.”

“This is odd. Where’s your husband?” I asked, more curtly than I cared to at the outset.

“In the hotel, packing,” she said. “He’s going home tomorrow.”

“And you’re not?”

She looked up at me. “No, Rob, I’m not,” she said. “I still have work to do here. The kids are with their nanny in Reading and it’s time for him to leave.”

I gave her a puzzled expression. “If the kids are looked after…”

She gave me a sad expression. “Rob, please,” she said. “I need to ask you a question.”

I nodded, and little alarm bells started going off in my head.

“In your honest opinion, please tell me…did he really think I wouldn’t find out?”

# # #

I saw Kate bravely fighting back tears as she spoke. She was devastated.

“Kate, I have no idea what to tell you,” I began, but she cut me off.

“The truth would be a great start,” she said bitterly. “You know I’m not cross with you, but please, tell me what you know!”

Gently, I took Kate by the arm and led her to a bench in a far corner of the gallery. “Patty told me she had a relationship with Peter when he was married to you and that she didn’t know he was married,” I said.

“Patty never thought to ask?”

I frowned. “Kate, that’s not a fair question. The first question I ask people I date isn’t generally ‘are you married’? I tend to assume they aren’t.”

“One would think she would have done a little research,” Kate said, and I looked at her with a bit of sympathy.

“One would also think she’d have preferred an honorable partner,” I said, defending Patty’s honor. “Peter was awful, both to Patty and to me, and in writing no less. I think that should tell you something about who is to blame for this.”

“Oh, I’m not defending him,” she snapped, with the fury of a woman scorned. “I just wish she had done a little homework.”

“Which she was under no obligation to do,” I said, continuing to defend my new sweetheart from the anger of my former one.

Finally, Kate’s expression changed. “Rob, I don’t mean to attack anyone,” she finally said. “I know you can understand my pain and frustration. In fact, you’re probably the only man who truly does. Lord knows Peter doesn’t know and obviously, he doesn’t care.”

“You want your pound of flesh from him and I don’t blame you for that,” I said. “You could probably even choose which pound you take. Hell, Kate, I think Patty would help you take it, and most people wouldn’t blame you for that either.”

She looked up at me, her misery now showing. “Rob, I’m four months pregnant with two kids waiting at home, and I don’t know if I want to keep my husband. What do I do?”

Now I really didn’t know what to tell her.

# # #

But over the next minutes, she let it all out – her frustration with Peter; the thoughts she had had when she read his letter to me after seeing it laying on his desk at work; and finally, why she re-contacted me by her own letter.

“I had my doubts when I read his letter,” she said. “I could feel that something was up. There was no reason for him to talk Patty down unless he was trying to make you believe she was lying about something.”

“It just seemed strange,” I said. “Patty came to my office in Padua one afternoon and she struck me as a sweet, open, honest woman. I fell for her because she was honest and cared for me. That’s all there is to it.”

“I also wondered why you didn’t tell me what you knew after Patty told you about her relationship with Peter,” she said miserably.

Now it was my turn to show some frustration. “That was a very hard decision,” I said. “What Peter did to you was wrong, but what he threatened to do to Patty was just as wrong. If I had told you, you’d be in exactly the same spot you’re in right now, and he may have tried something really stupid to hurt Patty. I couldn’t let that happen. Kate, I’m sorry, but I just couldn’t let that happen.”

“I just can’t believe what became of us,” she finally said, changing the subject with a heavy sigh. “I mean you and me, not Peter. You cared more for me than anyone I’ve ever known and I turned you down. I have two kids I’d move heaven and earth for, and a third on the way, but I just don’t know what to do!”

I reached for her hand and she freely gave it. I touched her for the first time in five years and she looked at me like she was drowning. Finally, she threw herself into my arms.

“I’d take you back in a second, Rob,” she said, clinging to me. “And this time I wouldn’t be so bloody stupid.”

She just felt perfect, every bit as soft and sweet and wonderful as when we were together. I had dreamed of exactly this moment on many a lonely evening, sometimes out of love for her and sometimes out of vindictiveness. Truly penitent, Kate was back in my arms, ready to come home. Yet it wasn’t fair, and I knew it.

I looked down at her and nearly didn’t recognize my own voice as I answered her. “Kate, as dearly as I love you, I just can’t,” I said. “You’re married, and I’m taken. But it’s like you said – I will always love you too.”

At that moment, Patty returned to the room. And now I’m distraught.

# # #

[tenthreeleader]

Wednesday, November 14

I’m back in Padua tonight, holed up in my apartment, wondering if I can possibly do anything right.

Patty doesn’t want to see me any more after finding Kate in my arms at the gallery last night. Her words were cutting: “I thought you’d be better than Peter,” she said, when I tried to explain on my way out the door. “I guess I was wrong!”

She also told me through her tears that she will be going home to America after the Biennale ends on Sunday.

There was just nothing I could say. I did try to contact her today but she wouldn’t return my calls. I made four of them before finally giving up and closing the curtains in my apartment for an evening to myself. I’m devastated. I was trying to do the right thing and all I did was mess up my life – again.

I was telling Kate I couldn’t take her back – but that cut no soap with Patty. She is understandably upset at the thought of someone she cared for until yesterday in the arms of another woman.

Here’s the oddest and saddest thing of all; if I wanted to, I could say the word and be a happy man. Kate is ready to leave Peter McGuire and I have no doubt she meant what she said. I could resign my job tomorrow, go back to England, push him out of the picture as he was scared I might do, and have a very nice life as Kate’s husband. The miracle every jilted lover craves would have come to pass – I’d have my dream life restored and I could simply forget about Patty.

She would slide into memory, a happy dalliance on the way to reclaiming the love of my life. Yet it’s not like that. I know it, and that’s what makes this so hard to accept.

Looking at Patty, and seeing how distraught she was at that moment, I knew turning down Kate was the right decision. I do love Patty and she does – or at least she did – love me. It is desperately sad.

I did my best to keep busy this afternoon but with no game this weekend the hours crawled by. I looked at the wet bar in the corner of my apartment and resolved that I wasn’t going to go there – at least not tonight. It would only have led to trouble.

The only thing left for me to do is to sleep. And when that won’t come, I’m in real trouble.

# # #

Thursday, November 15

To make matters worse, Tuesday night’s incident is now in the papers here in Padua.

I was spotted at the Biennale event, in Venice, paparazzi found out, and when Patty stormed out of the gallery pursued by her manager boyfriend, it made news. Today, it became public and the pain I am feeling seems to be getting worse by the moment.

The thing I’m struggling with the most is reconciling her earlier words with her actions of the other night. She had insisted that she would be there for me when the trouble arrived – trouble we both knew would come. Sure enough, it did, and when it did Patty evaporated. Again, I appear to have put my trust in a woman who let me down.

I’m grieving. If that sounds harsh, fine. She told me what she felt – only she didn’t seem to feel it when it mattered the most. I know she certainly has the right to change her mind, but such a sudden reversal – without a fair chance to explain what happened – hurts more than I can describe.

I called home today and had a long talk with my family, who has unfortunately had to help me through this on a prior occasion. I started to cheer up a bit thanks to a touch of home. I just needed to hear some friendly voices while I sort things out, and thankfully they understood my need.

Then, I got an unexpected boost to my spirits. Masolini called, from his holiday at home. My deputy figured I could use a little morale boost from this side of the Atlantic as well.

“I read the paper, my friend,” he said, and I sighed heavily. “We’ll get you through this. If you like, the coaches can take you out and help you forget about things for a little while.”

I thought it through and realized I was probably making yet another wrong decision. I also knew that if I didn’t get out and among people I was asking for trouble.

“I think that would be fine,” I finally said.

# # #

Friday, November 16

Yesterday’s entry was rather short because my coaching staff took me out on the town and when they got me back home, they nearly had to pour me into my apartment. Today’s entry is rather short because my head hurts. Quite a lot.

From what I remember, I had a good time. At least I didn’t wake up next to a complete stranger this morning. That was a good thing.

I didn’t even try to contact Patty today. First off I don’t think she would have talked to me and second, even if she had I was in no shape to argue for most of the day. That was a bit unfortunate but finding a place to lie down was more important for me for most of today.

I appreciated Masolini’s gesture of yesterday even as I didn’t care for how it made me feel this morning. While I like time to myself, being alone has never been a priority of mine and my coaches made sure I wasn’t alone when I was at my very lowest.

I’ve turned down Kate, and Patty wants nothing to do with me. It can’t get any worse than that, but it’s probably for the best. I need to focus fully on these players, and on my job, and it’s best that I not be distracted. Even as much as it hurts.

Hell, who am I kidding?

# # #

[tenthreeleader]

Saturday, November 17

I’m miserable, but tonight I have company. Italy is in mourning tonight – there has been a death in the family.

Not of an important person, mind you, but rather their beloved Azzurri. In a shock qualifying result this evening, Italy lost 2-1 to Scotland at Glasgow’s Hampden Park – meaning Scotland is into Euro 2008 and Italy is all the way out.

I watched the game on television, my head now cleared from Thursday night and hopefully starting to refocus on the events of the coming week including the showdown with Novara. I was looking for anything to shift my mind from the events of this week, but I hadn’t anticipated that this result would do it.

Scotland’s story in this competition has been a fairy tale from the start – Walter Smith, formerly and now once again of Rangers, started a renaissance with the national side that Alex McLeish has now finished.

Scotland was playing its last group match, with Italy still to face the Faroe Islands at home trailing by four points. A draw for the Scots would be enough to clinch a place in Austria and Switzerland, while Italy needed to do the business before an impassioned Tartan Army.

The media expectation here was that the world champions would indeed prevail. Just fourteen minutes into the match the visitors started to live up to advance billing. Manchester United’s Darren Fletcher pulled back Gennaro Gattuso in the penalty area and Juve’s Alessandro del Pieri converted from the spot.

Italy had the lead it craved. Then, just sixty seconds later, disaster struck Italy and the Lion Rampant was…well, it was rampant. On a backpass from Mauro Camoranesi to keeper Gianluigi Buffon, Everton’s James McFadden stole the ball. He sailed in and beat Buffon to tie the score, sending Hampden Park into raptures.

The first half then took on a more hectic pace as Italy looked for the goal it now desperately needed. In the second half, though, the Scots struck again.

With the Italians piling forward, the Scots countered brilliantly. Nine minutes after the restart, Lee McCulloch of Rangers slammed a shot that Buffon parried onto the feet of Birmingham’s Garry O’Connor.

When O’Connor converted the simple finish, Hampden’s joy was of a different kind. Knowing they needed only a draw to advance, the Scots were able to play a confident defensive game while Italy flailed away at their defensive shell looking for a weakness.

It became increasingly obvious as the Italians chased the game that such a weakness was nowhere to be found. Craig Gordon was equal to the tasks he faced in Scotland’s goal and when the whistle blew for full time, a frenzy erupted in Glasgow such as hasn’t been seen in many a year.

The Azzurri were beaten and as the Italian players reacted to their defeat, I leaned back in my chair knowing full well that Biancoscudati, and their luckless manager, would be quite far down the sports pages for a few days.

That bothers me not at all. I haven’t really slept since Wednesday and if the cameras caught me now, the picture they’d get would not be pretty.

# # #

Sunday, November 18

Biennale is over and Patty is presumably on a plane headed back for the United States. Kate is on her way back to England, I don’t care where Peter McGuire is, and I’m sitting here in Padua fighting to hold myself together.

I spent a very quiet day wondering about things I shouldn’t be wondering about and finally knew there was nothing else for it. I put a Novara DVD into my player, took out my notes from the Venezia match I saw, and started to figure out how to shut down the highest scoring team in Serie C1A. As I wrote earlier this year, it was something to do.

# # #

[tenthreeleader]

Monday, November 19

David Sinigaglia and Raffaele Rubino are a dynamic duo for Novara. They’ve already combined for thirteen league goals this season and since that’s just a few less than my entire side has scored to this point, I have to be concerned about that.

I also have to be concerned about playing them on the road. It’s a fairly short trip, but they are an excellent home side and if we aren’t watertight at the back we’re going to get overwhelmed.

We’ll also enter the match with identical records – each team has seven wins, four draws and one loss, so the teams are fairly evenly matched. We play better defense than they do and they are better offensively than we are. Immovable object, meet unstoppable force.

I greeted a very loose squad of players today and installed not only the plan for Novara, but also a rudimentary look at SPAL, which we will play in the second round of the Serie C Cup a week from Wednesday. Again, we have the first match on the road, which is just fine with me. Players know that in a week’s time there’s football for everyone again, and that makes us a happy ship.

Rested legs led to a good if slightly sloppy training session today, with the players in a good mood. Today, though, I spent most of my time with Crovari, Sacchetti and Faísca working on a special plan to deal with Sinigaglia and Rubino.

Rubino is a classic, and red-hot, striker. Sinigaglia is a perfect foil for him, a slightly taller and very pacy predator who seems to enjoy creating mayhem in his opponents’ penalty area. The two have been devastating and for me, the key to the whole match will be my captain’s play.

Crovari is playing, despite his offensive and ball-moving deficiencies, because he’s the best man-marking midfielder I have, and he’s going to help with both strikers as his primary responsibility. I want him thinking defensively and today we went over how I want him to do it.

This, hopefully, will be Federico’s kind of match – slow paced and deliberate. If we get in a shootout with Novara we might wind up flying back to Padua and we all know it. To get a result we’re going to have to slow them down, counter them in all likelihood, and above all, figure out how to start taking our chances when we get them. And with Novara’s hair-on-fire defensive style, we can count on getting at least a few.

After the training session today I retreated to my office and reviewed my notes from the Venezia match, where the two of them combined for all five of their team’s goals. After reading those notes and watching a couple of DVDs I was nearly ready to skip my dinner.

I haven’t had much of an appetite anyway for the last few days, so perhaps that is for the best.

# # #

Getting back into the routine is probably the best thing for me. I put away a few mementoes of my time with Patty – I don’t yet have the heart to throw them away, though I suppose that’s coming sometime soon – and settled into my easy chair to start my work.

So far, I haven’t managed to mess that up too badly. But as the writers might say, the season is still young.

Before I went to bed tonight my e-mail browser buzzed at a late hour. I saw from the address line that it was from Kate.

“Well, I haven’t been through enough today,” I said, opening the note. “Why not try some more?”

I was immediately sorry I had opened it. The mail wasn’t from Kate:

“Ridgway:

You told me to write when I found work. I’m sitting here in my office, on my wife’s e-mail. So I did what you said. Now how about you write me when you find a woman?

I’ve beaten you. You crossed me and you lost. Who’s the little man now?

- Peter McGuire”

[tenthreeleader]

Tuesday, November 20

Life is starting to settle back into a more or less normal pattern despite the events of the last week and all I can say is that it’s welcome.

The national side’s loss in Glasgow is still dominating the sports pages here and I suspect it will for awhile yet. Italy’s last qualifying match against the Faroes is now completely meaningless and instead of it being a coronation of sorts, I suspect a number of the players might now prefer it to be an away fixture.

Today’s opinion columns – including a rather scathing effort from Emiliani, which doesn’t surprise me – are calling for recriminations in the national setup and I don’t envy anyone associated with it. There are a large number of people here who expect success from the national team almost as a matter of divine right, and when it doesn’t come, there’s hell to pay.

But that doesn’t matter to me – all it means for now is that the focus is elsewhere and that is just fine with me. I’m still pretty down and wondering what I did to deserve such miserable luck with the opposite sex, but getting back to work continues to help to the extent that it can.

All I’m wondering is if my telling Patty I loved her meant so much, why would she forget that meaning so quickly after I said it? I’m now realizing that the more time I spend thinking about it, the more frustrated I get. That isn’t worth it, of course, so I move on to other things.

I met with the defenders and holding midfielders today after the main training session for an extended look at Rubino and Sinigaglia on video. I don’t want the players to approach their assignments this weekend with apprehension, but I do want them to know what to expect. We went over tendencies, we went over shooting strengths, and we went over how to play them.

We know who is responsible for providing help in certain areas of the pitch and I do believe the players understand their assignments. We have three days to work on things and if they rise to the occasion I do think we have a good chance.

Then I went home to think. Again.

# # #

Wednesday, November 21

At midweek in our preparation, I’ve got a completely different distraction and it’s one I wouldn’t have dreamed possible even two months ago.

The Dallas Morning News ran a story this morning claiming that former Chicago Fire defender Rob Rigdway heads a shortlist to become the new manager of FC Dallas in Major League Soccer.

With MLS now in close season, speculation on most of that league’s managerial posts appears to be opening up. In terms of distraction, it’s comparatively mild from a purely personal point of view.

At this point in my career I have no interest whatever in that post or any job in MLS with the sole exception of Los Angeles due to its ambition. MLS has changed its rules to allow more foreign players – each club will be able to carry eight on a roster for the coming season – but at this point it’s not for me.

Having played in the league, what MLS is – and from the standpoint of growth in the game in America, correctly so – is a development league for American talent.

I have long been of the opinion that for America’s best players to grow, they need to be over here. The fact that I can be here as a manager is a good thing too. So from that point of view, it’s not much of a distraction.

However, for some media here, the thought of an American club coming to rescue me from the rigors of Europe is amusing. So I had to spend more than a little time today defusing questions designed to speculate and cast heat rather than shed light.

“Interesting story they wrote,” I said, as the players departed from the afternoon training session. With seven time zones worth of difference between Padua and the American Midwest, the story hit the news wires at about noon local time and took another couple of hours to filter down to Italian media.

“Are you interested in going back to America?”

“Not really,” I said. “I do have a job to do here and even though it seems sometimes like you’re trying to chase me away from it, I do plan to stay here and bother you for awhile yet.”

They appreciated my attempt at humor, anyway.

# # #

After a quiet dinner out on the town, I returned to my apartment and flipped on the light to read a book before bed.

It’s rare that I have genuine time for myself but recent events seem to find me having more and more of it to spare. I turned on my satellite radio and had to laugh out loud at the song I heard.

I’m not much for country music but the strains of a classic Texas Swing song described my mood perfectly. The legendary Bob Wills and the Texas Playboys sang the first verse of “Lone Star Beer” and I had to laugh out loud even though Patty is from the Midwest:

“My Yellow Rose of Texas packed up and left this mornin'

I don't know where she's gone, and most of all I don't know why

I only know I've got the blues, I've never been this lonesome

It's enough to make a man lay down and die.”

Maybe going home wouldn’t be the worst idea in the world after all.

# # #

I’m not quite done with McGuire, yet, though. His e-mail was cruel – as cruel as I had been to him in Venice and more. There’s a long way to go before I’m done with him and that’s a promise.

Kate obviously found out about her husband’s e-mail to me because she wrote me tonight using a subject line she knew only I would understand.

She used my private name for her in the heading. Her full name is Katherine Joy Southerland and I called her “Happiness”. That was a reflection on her middle name as well as the effect she had on me. The message was entitled “Happiness for Rob”.

So I opened it.

My dear Rob:

I am tired of apologizing on Peter’s behalf so I won’t try. I know he was beastly to you again and I don’t blame you for hating him.

I have thought long and hard about what I told you about Patty and Peter. I know it is probably no consolation to you, but the reason they had a relationship was because of something I did.

After we broke up, I couldn’t just forget about you and I know you probably felt the same way. I started seeing Peter a few months after you moved to Chicago and at first I didn’t love him. Then he proved himself to me and I agreed to marry him after he promised to stay here and raise a family.

Then Patty came into the picture. She was stationed in London and had common business with Peter – away from Reading. After I got back from Venice last week and we had it out, he told me that he started to flirt with her and at first it was nothing, but then he said I had done a bad thing and deserved what I got.

Rob, I saved every letter, e-mail and note you ever wrote me from the road. Even after we broke up. I couldn’t bear to part with them – they were a part of you, so sweet and so kind and so loving. I didn’t think there would be any harm in that but he certainly did. He found them and he read with his own eyes how much you care for me.

He then started a relationship with Patty, unknown to me. His jealousy is boundless, and I suppose I should be happy about that in a way. However, now that I have seen how badly that jealousy hurt you, both directly and indirectly, I can’t abide by it any longer.

Patty rarely came to Reading, never knew about me, and he would see her when he went to London on daily business. He made up a story to her about how he would travel out of town – when he was really coming home. He duped us both.

Finally, when I gave birth to our second child, Peter felt some remorse and ended the relationship with Patty. Yet when he heard you were coming back to Europe, he got every bit as jealous as he got when he found the letters I kept. He went after Patty because he figured, rightly I trust, that she would want to revenge herself on him.

I can’t even tell you how much it hurt to find out what happened. He had even mentioned Patty to me in our home as a “prior relationship” – but the note I found that he wrote to you helped me put two and two together. There would have been no reason in the world for him to poison Patty for you unless there was something he wanted to hide. And he had something to hide, didn’t he?

I had my suspiscions but I didn’t get up the nerve to say anything until I met Patty in Venice. She has had a lot of pain caused by Peter as well, Rob. I’m just desperately sorry you were caught in this crossfire.

That’s how all this started. I still don’t know what I am going to do, Rob, but if you’ve read this far in this note you know one thing for certain.

I meant every word I said about taking you back. I did love you, I do love you, and I will continue to love you regardless of what happens in my marriage. After what I have been through, I think I deserve that.

Yours.

Kate

# # #

[tenthreeleader]

Thursday, November 22

I got no sleep last night. However, I was able to put another rumor to bed today.

I was able to put speculation on Dallas to rest today but now speculation is coming from a different part of the Midwest.

The Columbus Crew are also shopping for a new manager to replace Sigi Schmid and again I’m being linked. So after today’s training, the same questions were being asked by the same people about a different team.

“Same answer as yesterday,” I said. “Still not going anywhere.”

# # #

Meanwhile, as much time as I’ve spent concerned about Novara’s forwards, I’ve had to make some decisions regarding my own players as well.

With the midweek Cup tie coming up, I’m back to a more or less rotational policy for the next ten days. Donadoni has played quite well in the cup competitions but not as well when I have brought him on in the league, so the central defense decision is easy.

The decisions to be made up front deal with Gentile v. Rabito in central midfield and the proper strike combination. Varricchio has had the hot hand so he will be one. Muzzi hasn’t been so hot recently and as a result may drop to the bench for Sunday.

It has been fairly simple to decide on most of the XI so far. Now, with the cup matches starting to mean a bit more, it might not be so clear-cut henceforth.

# # #

I’d settle for anything in my life being clear-cut at the moment. I had a nightmare this evening that kept me up for the rest of the night.

I dreamed I was walking along the banks of the Bacchiglione River, one of the two main rivers flowing around the city of Padua. As I walked, I came across McGuire and Patty walking in the opposite direction, arm in arm. They looked at me, laughed, and kissed. I woke up with a start. I felt dirty and used.

Sadly, I looked up at the ceiling. “Kate, where are you when I really need you?” I asked.

# # #

Friday, November 23

Media previews are out for Sunday’s match and being on the road has made us a slight underdog.

I can’t really complain much about that. Despite playing well in our last match against Pro Patria, our away form has been a bit spotty so far and to be away from Euganeo will give Novara an edge.

I reject the notion, though, that Novara should be a solid favorite. The bookmakers have established the odds at close to level, with the home team a 6-4 selection. “I think it’s fair for the way Novara has played, especially at home,” I told media today. “Yet that doesn’t mean I am willing to accept being second-best on Sunday. We do have expectations and I do believe we will meet them. They are a fine side but if we play defensively like we can play, I think we’ll be all right.”

There has been surprisingly little talk from either camp about the game. Ordinarily in a situation where two clubs at the top of a table face each other, you’ll see something inflammatory in the papers before the match. But not this time. I think people are waiting to see what happens and that is fine with me. I have no desire for my words to wind up on someone’s bulletin board.

We’re leaving tomorrow and will spend Saturday night in Novara, which is about 30 miles west of Milan. It will be good to be on the road and out of town for a night. The walls have been getting a little close this week, especially at night, and to have a little breathing space without people watching my every move will be nice.

So far, people have been pretty quiet around me regarding the events of last week. That’s a good thing, too. I wouldn’t react well to it and right now I am insulated to the point where I can get by day to day without too much trouble.

And it is quite true that a portion of my woes come from my own imagination. I do get looks from people when I walk down the street, and now as I walk I wonder what they are for. Are people acknowledging our success, my position, or simply saying ‘there goes the poor idiot’?

Professional self-pity isn’t something I generally indulge for too long, and in this business that’s a must. So my reaction to recent events actually worries me a bit.

Still, I can’t be too concerned about it, or results will slip and I’ll get run out of town. The time to toughen up is right now.

# # #

Saturday, November 24

We made the trip west this afternoon and from the sounds of things you’d never guess there was anything wrong.

I was able to forget for awhile. I had a terrific time with the coaches as we rumbled across northern Italy on the way to Novara. We resumed the running poker game as soon as we got out of town and before we knew it, we were in Milan with a light-hearted team ready for tomorrow’s challenge.

Looking at the schedule I don’t know how much help we’re going to get from the rest of the league. Obviously our eyes have to be on our own papers at Silvio Piola but others will be watching Sassuolo at Foggia and Venezia at home to Cavese. Obviously, we learned the hard way about Cavese but I’m hoping Foggia can find a way to hold the league leaders playing at home.

I also decided on the strikers. I can’t leave Muzzi out because Varricchio plays off him quite well. As hot as Massimiliano is, I can’t change his routine or his surroundings before such an important match for my club.

I told Roberto he was playing and he nodded with satisfaction. At age 36, the same age as I am, he’s been just about everywhere in Italy and has seen it all. I don’t think he was surprised I was thinking of sitting him down, but at the same time he does know regardless of whether he’s in the XI for a given match he enjoys my confidence.

Yet everyone wants to play, especially in a top of the table match and I’ll have a motivated player tomorrow.

The expectations are there. Our hopes are high. We’re ready to get back onto the pitch again after two weeks off. So let’s get to it.

# # #

Unfortunately, I still have reminders of my “past life” that keep cropping up from time to time. Tonight in our hotel room I happened to go through the picture folder on my BlackBerry and came across a picture I have loved since the moment it was taken.

I saw a picture of Patty taken on her second visit to my apartment, and it’s really breathtaking. She wore an outfit I quickly grew to love as I grew to love her. When I saw Patty in it, I had to take her picture. She obliged in a playful, happy pose and whenever I felt I missed her a bit too much, I would look at the picture as a way to feel better.

Now, though, the picture stuck me like a dagger. I looked at her smiling face, and I thought she might as well have been on Mars now for all that smile mattered.

“What the hell did I do to deserve this?” I sighed, trying to control a wave of emotion. I prepared to delete the picture but couldn’t bring myself to push the button.

Then anger got the better of me. “What the hell did I do to deserve being treated like that?” I finally asked, pushing the button. The picture disappeared into blackness, right alongside my mood.

# # #

[tenthreeleader]

Sunday, November 25

Novara 0-0 Padova

One of Webster’s definitions of the word anticlimax is “an event, period, or outcome that is strikingly less important or dramatic than expected”.

That pretty well sums up today’s match, in which the immovable object stopped the irresistible force, but the only way we’d have had a chance to win would be to hold them to minus one goal. We rarely looked like scoring either, which was disappointing for a reason I’ll relate later.

In all, I was delighted with our defensive play. We did a very good job on Sinigaglia and Rubino, and when we didn’t slow them down, Orlandoni stopped them to earn a man of the match award on the road.

But offensively, we weren’t real good even though managed to generate fifteen attempts at goal, four more than our hosts. That said, we were wasteful, getting only five on target and of those, only one really troubled keeper Davide Micillo. That chance was a hard drive by Baú during first half injury time that was palmed around the right post by the keeper’s acrobatic save.

At halftime I did the only thing I could realistically do – I told the players to keep their intensity up and complimented one and all for the job they were doing against the Novara scorers. I met quickly with Crovari and the central defenders to make sure there were no questions and to give the players my observations on Novara’s approach. They were quite professional and I soon retreated to the outer hallway to allow Masolini to continue his portion of the team talk.

I do tend to have one habit that is known to annoy the unwary during our matches – I pace the hallway outside the changing room. I pace the touchline when my team is playing and for me it’s just a way to burn off nervous energy.

Today, though, it gave me a chance to think. We had done everything I asked the team to do in the first half except score, and I used the remaining minutes of the halftime break to mentally revisit Novara’s defensive approach. They were playing a simple 4-4-2 that we should have been able to break down more easily than we were doing.

As the second half started we became a little more fluent offensively and started to hit Novara on the break, leading to better chances. However, once we got the ball in decent scoring positions we then turned quite wasteful. That to me was as bad as not getting in position at all.

Muzzi scooped over from ten yards on a gilt-edged chance to score five minutes after the restart, and we continued to play well defensively too. Rubino did get one free header off a corner on 58 minutes but nodded the ball straight into Orlandoni’s grateful hands to preserve the goalless draw.

Then, eight minutes from time, we did get a break as Novara’s Andrea Coletto hacked down substitute Rabito as he approached the Novara penalty area. Colletto had already been carded, and referee Luigi Nasca rewarded the cynical challenge with the player’s second yellow card.

Now we had an opening. I waited a moment to see how the sending off would affect our opponents’ formation and when they pulled off Sinigaglia to stay with four defenders, I knew we could push forward.

I signaled for 4-3-3 and waved for the players to push forward in search of a late winner. And though we dominated the last eight minutes of regular time and all the stoppage time, we couldn’t produce a goal. That was a little disappointing, because Novara’s defense bent but didn’t break.

Nasca sounded the full time whistle and we headed off with a split in the points that made no one happy. Still, I couldn’t argue. It was a fair result.

As I gathered the squad around me in the changing room after the match, I chose to stay upbeat. “We worked the plan and we stopped them,” I said. “You get full marks for that. In attack we still lack that cutting edge so that’s what we’ll be working on during the coming week. Excellent job on their strikers today and you’re leaving here with a point you deserve. Get ready to go home. The coach leaves in an hour.”

With that I went off to talk with my friends in the media, who I’m sure were hanging on my every word. Or, perhaps not.

“I was a bit disappointed that we didn’t put more pressure on them, especially in the second half when I thought we had much the better of play,” I said. “We knocked the ball around pretty well in the second half and made some space for ourselves, but we couldn’t do anything with that space. They had a good report on us and they played us quite well.”

“We were told that shutting down Baú and your wide players was the key to stopping you.”

“We’ve been getting very good play from our wing players and our strikers have been getting very good service,” I said. “The key to things for us at the moment is finding that cutting edge, which I mentioned to the players, and also figuring out how to be constructive with the ball when our wide game is taken away.”

“Orlandoni has been a real hero for you at times this season,” Emiliani said, making a rare positive statement.

“He has,” I smiled. “For him to make the step to Serie C from Inter probably took a bit of doing, but he has been an anchor for us. Our defenders have done an outstanding job all season and the presence we have had all season along our back line is the primary reason we’ve been as successful as we’ve been. We don’t often panic at the back and it shows in our results.”

“You gave their strikers little room today as well.”

“We did a fine job against two of the top strikers in our league. We didn’t score, I’m not thrilled that we didn’t score, but we did what we came here to do, which was keep a clean sheet. So I am happy.”

# # #

I’m not so happy with the scoreboard from the rest of the league. As good as we were defensively today we still dropped in the table.

Sassuolo continues its torrid run, having now gone thirteen without a loss after winning 1-0 at Foggia. Venezia did what I feared they might, handling Cavese 3-nil at Pierluigi Penzo. So with our draw today, we lose ground against two of our main rivals.

We’re now third outright, with 26 points to Venezia’s 28 and Sassuolo’s 29. So we can go on the road, shut down the two top marksmen in Serie C1 and still lose ground. Funny game, football.

Yet there was an overriding positive to the day. I hadn’t thought about Patty all day. It was important to my own sense of well-being that I show I can do my job in spite of it all. This was done.

I may not like it, but my loss won’t consume me. I hope.

# # #

[tenthreeleader]

Monday, November 26

The fallout from yesterday’s draw hasn’t been so bad. The papers have been reasonably kind, the supporters have been understanding and after a night to sleep on it, even the curmudgeonly manager isn’t terribly upset.

But having had a chance to think about it, there are other changes I may want to make soon. Crovari picked up his fourth yellow card of the season yesterday, leading to his suspension for next weekend’s home match against Foligno. We’re facing the 17th placed side on our pitch so we ought to be halfway decent against them based on records, and with the captain out, I will need to find a replacement.

But I’m thinking already that it won’t be Anaclerio. It will be Paz. I need a different look in that holding position with the idea of increasing offensive fluency, especially on the counterattack I prefer when we lead the game.

Crovari is a better defensive player but Paz is certainly competent, and a better passer of the ball. At home, I think the tradeoff will be okay for us, and it gives me a chance to play Cotroneo at right back. He deserves a little more playing time for his work against Igea Virtus in the Cup, so hopefully that will all work out in the coming week.

However, that won’t solve my immediate problem, which is to figure out how to squeeze more out of our road performance. It’s hard to complain when we’ve lost only one of our first thirteen league matches, but when the top team hasn’t lost any and has taken us behind the woodshed in the process, I have to look for more points somewhere.

Today, though, our attention turned to SPAL, our opponent in the Cup on Wednesday night in Ferrara. It will be a short trip for us – just 52 miles separate the cities – and since we are right back into action on Sunday, it’s good not to have a lot of windshield time to worry about as well.

They are playing fairly well in their league but there’s no reason to believe we can’t take their measure over three hours of open play. So today we began work on figuring out how to best make that happen – starting with our finishing, which was lacking at Novara and which needs to improve on a general basis.

Muzzi in particular is having trouble. He seems to spurn one or two really fabulous chances a game nowadays and from a confidence standpoint it may soon start to tell.

Considering what Roberto has done in his career and the places he’s been, he isn’t yet lacking for confidence and that is important during times when production lacks. He continues to help create chances as well, so it’s hard to remove him completely when buildup is often just as important as the finish.

Still, we need to start scoring goals. No time like the present.

# # #

Tuesday, November 27

Again, the rotational policy for my forwards will be in place. Especially since we didn’t score on Sunday, I don’t have an in-form striker to hold down a place for tomorrow’s match.

That’s fine, since Di Nardo is itching to get back into the XI for tomorrow anyway and I need to get him a game. He’s done pretty well with Paponi both on the pitch during matches and recently in training, so that’s what I’ll go with until forced to do something different.

We also spent a bit of time today looking ahead toward Foligno’s visit on Sunday. I am concerned about Foligno for one reason – they have the worst disciplinary record in the league and it’s not even close.

They have had six players sent off already and they don’t mind physical challenges. I am not calling them a dirty team – we’ve already lost four man-games due to suspension ourselves thanks to two red cards and two yellow card suspensions – but Foligno has raised getting sent off to an art form so far this season.

Too, it’s not lost upon me that two of our four man-games lost to suspension have come from my captain, one of which will be Sunday. Crovari’s position is coming under scrutiny, and it has to – he’s not doing me any good suspended and the club needs him to lead from on the pitch.

Foligno likes to “man up” to its opposition and we’ll have to be ready to face a strong team. That will definitely mean Varricchio, the tallest and most physically imposing striker I have, is in the eleven and we’ll have to make other decisions based on the possibility of a physical presence from our visitors.

On the back line, I’m pretty confident we can handle them. But we have to get through tomorrow first.

# # #

[tenthreeleader]

Wednesday, November 28

SPAL 1-3 Padova

Our Serie C Cup second round tie got off to a flying start tonight – and really, the match was over in the first five minutes.

By the time some in the crowd of 3,708 at Paolo Mazza had found their seats, we already led 2-0. One goal in the first five minutes qualifies as a dream start – but two is darned near perfect.

We had a relaxed trip to Ferrara this afternoon, got off the coach and got straight into the match. I told the squad before the match that they had the quality to deal with their lower-level opposition and they showed their belief in a very profound way.

Music, restored to the left side of midfield, scored his second goal of the season on a rebound of a powerful shot by Rabito on virtually our first foray into the offensive half of the pitch. Brazilian goalkeeper Matheus parried the ball to his right and Music beat the defense to it, banking his shot in off the fallen keeper who raised an arm in a futile attempt at a miraculous double save.

We had the ball in their net just eighty seconds later after Stefano Mazzocco stole a bad pass from SPAL’s kickoff. His direct ball for Paponi found our loan striker in full flight and he eased the ball to his left, onto the path of the onrushing Di Nardo. Antonio saw Matheus off his line and scored with a glorious little lob from just inside the eighteen-yard box to make it 2-0 with four and a half minutes on the clock.

Our bench erupted and I showed a rather unaccustomed level of emotion at the quality of our start. Two plays of different types – one featuring hustle, the other featuring craft and guile – had put us two to the good.

After that strong start, however, the SPAL defense stabilized to stop the bleeding. We had a couple of good chances for a third but with two away goals in the bank at halftime I couldn’t really complain at the break.

The second half was quite similar to the first in that we had command of things early on but didn’t score again. Yet, on 57 minutes we scored our third on a fine play by three squad players.

Anaclerio started it, picking up a free ball about thirty yards from goal, and finding Mazzocco with a quick lead ball. Looking to his right, Stefano shocked everyone by chopping a cheeky backheel in the opposite direction, where Di Nardo had timed his run perfectly. Mazzocco put the ball right into the path of his run, and Di Nardo completed his brace by slotting home from ten yards.

Again, the bench players were on their feet for three guys who are working hard but not always getting the playing time they want. It was really a pretty goal to look at and might have been our best three-way passing play of the entire season. The goal showed wonderful awareness and even better execution from all three players, resulting in a goal that may well put this tie to bed.

We were in such a good mood after scoring the third that even Michele Bonora’s first goal for SPAL seven minutes later from a corner didn’t bother us. Well, most of us didn’t mind it. I minded, especially since it was a free header from a corner. Since I get the last word, that should be enough for everyone else.

However, after that it was a matter of playing out the last half-hour without further damage to the goal difference and we were able to do that. Once again, we generated plenty of chances – 21 of them in fact – but this time we were a lot better at finishing, with nine on target. 3-1 was the score we deserved and it was what we got.

Afterwards, though, the talk was about Di Nardo and how hot he has been in this competition. He still can’t break into the first team for league matches, though, and that’s frustrating to him.

It was more frustrating for SPAL, though, which considers us more of a rival than we seem to consider them. For me, though, everyone’s the same, especially the first time we play each team we face. I can’t take anyone for granted, can’t put any more importance on any one opponent than any other – and that is how it has to be.

I already know a couple of things, though. I can’t wait to play Sassuolo again at our place and I am looking forward to getting Novara at Euganeo as well. Those are matches where we have left some serious unfinished business and I’d like to take care of that.

There are other things from tonight’s match I’d prefer not to know, though, since I’d rather they not have happened. Paponi and Donadoni, who have been playing quite well in this competition, both picked up yellow cards and will miss the second leg through suspension. The Serie C Cup has lower limits for yellow cards before suspensions kick in, and to have a striker suspended for a Cup tie due to yellow cards is pretty disappointing. I can understand losing central defenders like Donadoni from time to time.

I missed my share of games through my career due to yellow cards. As a central defender, sometimes they are almost unavoidable. However, I was never sent off as a professional and part of that is due to getting only three yellow cards for dissent in my entire career. I didn’t always agree with officials – in fact, I disagreed far more than I agreed – but I didn’t do it in a way that would show them up, so I was able to keep myself on the pitch.

The suspensions mean I’m going to have to play a regular striker and a regular defender in the second leg of the cup tie, when I would prefer not to as we try to stay with the leaders in the league. So cards can hurt in more ways than one.

And when I’m trying to avoid even more pain, that isn’t a good thing.

# # #

[tenthreeleader]

Thursday, November 29

It’s now full speed ahead to prepare for Foligno’s visit on Sunday. A win will pull us level with Sassuolo at the top of the table, but they host Monza on Monday evening in the last game of this round and so could well go remain three points clear. Still, it would be good to get to the top for a time, even if we’d lose the tie-break to them.

My media time today dealt with the pressures of playing for the top spot, which is a bit of a far cry from where the conversation was a couple of weeks ago. Still with only the one setback in the league, we are starting to make a few people think we could last the pace for a little while.

That isn’t to say we’ll carry all before us. I think there are deficiencies in this side that won’t be fixed during this season. However, we do seem to have the defensive side of the game down quite well indeed. Happily, if we play well from the keeper outward, we’ll always have a chance.

I was asked about Di Nardo today and I gave the honest truth. “He’s done well in the Cup and I’d love to find a regular spot for him in the senior squad,” I admitted. “But I have to be realistic. We’re playing a strong, tough opponent on Sunday and that means Varricchio, who might be the toughest player we have. It also means I need veteran guile so that probably means Roberto Muzzi. I won’t tip my hand entirely but we’ve gotten to third place in the table with these players and changing up a successful eleven is never an easy thing to do.”

The selection dilemma is nice. Frankly I don’t mind the media speculation – rare enough for me, considering what has already transpired with certain segments of the press here – because it keeps opponents off balance. As for some of my other dealings with the press, well, the less said the better.

# # #

Friday, November 30

As December approaches, one of the biggest problems of my year is rapidly approaching.

Christmas.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a killjoy or anything like that. In fact, I love Christmas. That’s actually part of my problem.

I was looking forward to a happy holiday season with Patty, but now that this isn’t going to happen, my hope is that La Befana will come through with something to brighten my holiday.

The traditions here in Italy are different than they are in the States. Depending on where you are in the country, Jolly Old Saint Nick doesn’t even show up. In some parts of Italy, Santa Lucia gives out gifts. Or, if you’ve been good, you might get a visit from a lady named La Befana.

The legend describes her as an elderly lady who at first refused an offer to join the Wise Men in searching for the Christ Child because she was too busy cleaning her house. However, she soon recanted and tried to follow the star. Unfortunately, she couldn’t find the Wise Men and has spent the rest of her life in search of them, dropping off gifts for others as she travels.

Yet the way this year has gone, I’d be stunned if I didn’t get coal in my stocking. It’s not that I’ve been deliberately bad – that’s just how it seems to have worked out.

I hate the thought of being so down at Christmas. So I’m hoping the happy old lady will help lift my spirits. But then at the age of 36, part of me still believes in Santa Claus, so perhaps hope does spring eternal.

The Christmas season here lasts three weeks and ends on January 6 with the observation of Epiphany. That’s unlike the States, where you start seeing holiday decorations in the stores at Halloween and some people don’t take them off their houses until spring.

People are starting to get into the spirit around here, though, and that is always fun to see. Just because I can’t have what I want is no reason to spoil everyone else’s fun. So I’ll be quiet about it and enjoy the season through the happy eyes of others.

Deep down, I have to admit it: the eyes I’d love to see at the moment are back in the States and I don’t know if I’ll ever see them again.

# # #

Tonight I headed out on the town for the first time since my rather unfortunate foray with Masolini and the coaches. I went out for dinner, enjoyed a walk through the downtown, and tried to actually enjoy a bit of life. Obviously November has been terrible for me from a personal standpoint, and as I passed Euganeo in the distance I was approached by a young lady.

“You’re Rob Ridgway,” she said.

“Yes, I am,” I answered. “Are you a club supporter?”

“I am, but it would be better if you just forgot about that for a moment and let me take you home. My name is Gia, I know what happened to you and I’d like to help you forget.”

I looked at her, shocked by her directness, and realized I must have fallen quite a long way indeed for someone to see me on the street and read my emotional state. I wasn’t proud of myself.

“Thank you, but no,” I finally said. “It wouldn’t be right. Good evening.”

I turned and walked home, pounding the pavement and wondering when I was finally going to turn the corner. I need to lift myself up by my bootstraps and Gia’s proposition should serve as a warning to me.

Eventually, I’ll do it. But not tonight. It’s time for a drink.

# # #

Saturday, December 1

We have received quite an interesting offer today that, if we were a slightly richer club, could have quite profound repercussions.

Everton of the English Premier League have offered defensive midfielder Anderson Silva to us for €75,000. He would absolutely solve the problems I’ve been having with linking play in the holding midfielder role and his price is certainly affordable.

Unfortunately, his salary probably isn’t. I received permission from the board at this afternoon’s monthly meeting to meet Everton’s asking price, and I wasted no time in doing so. Should be come here, he and Massimiliano Caputo would be my only signings of the January window – because I couldn’t afford any more.

I will probably look to offload a few players as well. Many of my reserve players are already out on loan and by and large the players on my reserve team who are there are going to stay there. I have a large number of players from my u-20 side who are getting reserve games as we schedule them, and the result is a lot of football for players in my system who need it.

One of those players is 18-year old Milan Grujic, a talented midfielder who has already declared for Serbia. I like the looks of him, especially in the u-20 matches I’ve seen. Against youth competition, when he’s out there it is watching a man play against boys.

He has pace, stamina, and no fair amount of skill. He holds down the central midfield role in the system for the u-20 side. All three of our teams – senior, reserve and u-20 – play the 4-1-3-2 and they are all doing fairly well with it.

Yet, he’s one for the future. Silva, if I could get him, would definitely be one for the present and his capture would make us favorites for promotion. It was exciting to respond to Everton’s fax today and meet their asking price. It makes me feel like I’m doing something.

# # #

Naturally, the discussion is being kept quiet because Silva’s arrival would displace my captain. As much as I’d like to see the player come here, I can’t do it at the expense of existing squad harmony, which is pretty good all things considered.

Our understanding is getting better too, as I had hoped it would. These players can perform in a variety of roles now and my hope is that if we don’t disrupt them too much over the New Year with new purchases or departures, we can hit our form in February and March. The season gets long then and to have us hitting on all cylinders during that time of year will be vital.

Sooner or later, teams will start to figure out the 4-1-3-2 and pressure it. When that happens we’ll have to be ready to respond with better play, especially when we have to counter. The challenge is ongoing, the nuances are exciting and it’s just one reason why managing is such a production.

Foligno arrives tomorrow. We are as ready as we are going to get.

# # #

[tenthreeleader]

Sunday, December 2

Padova 2-0 Foligno

Frankly, even though we won today’s match, I am embarrassed. It bordered on travesty.

Foligno finished with ten players but we finished with nine, for a variety of reasons I’ll get into later on. The match was every bit as physical as I had feared it might be, but at the end it got ridiculous.

I should have seen it coming when I woke to rain against my window. It hadn’t been forecasted and it was a nasty surprise. It was about ten degrees Centigrade when I headed to the ground, realizing that to get a result today we would need to grind it out.

I arrived first in the changing room, as is my custom, and worked out before anyone else arrived, as is also my custom. I like to burn off nervous energy that way, and I’m finding it helps with my outlook as well as my fitness levels. In other words, it’s a win-win.

So when the players began to arrive, I was ready for the match, in my standard touchline suit. I like black, and wear it as often as I can in some fashion when we play. Today I wore a black suit with white shirt and red tie, showing my colors in a more formal way.

I play “the game” in terms of my appearance. I don’t mind dressing up but have no plans to become a clotheshorse unless I’m forced to do so. What I’ll never do is wear one of those initialed tracksuits that are so popular in England. I know my own name and I expect my players to know it too.

The players showed up ready to play today – so much so, in fact, that I had to remind them of their basic responsibilities and roles after the warm-up.

“Remember what has gotten you this far,” I said. “You can surely win this match if you play to your potential but be prepared for the physical side of the game. If it starts raining pitchforks and hammer handles we probably won’t be able to play much of a short game, so be ready for whatever the weather throws at us.”

I heard snickers at my use of another American euphemism – I’m finding that when I have to loosen up the players there’s nothing better than a good old-fashioned American idiom to do it – and inwardly I was satisfied.

# # #

The rain affected play from the opening kickoff. We started quite brightly and the toughest player we have was the guy who started us off.

Varricchio opened the scoring just eight minutes into the match after slogging onto a rebound from Gentile. Gotti started the play with a free kick taken just outside the right edge of the Foligno penalty area, with his shot deflecting off the wall to Gentile. His shot was parried neatly by keeper Antonio Castelli, but Varricchio was fastest to the ball and his toe-poke found the back of the net to get us off to a solid start.

I think something was in the rainwater today, as after the goal certain players on both teams seemed to join referee Riccardo Pinzani in losing their collective minds for the rest of the half.

First, Foligno’s Fillippo Petterini went into Pinzani’s book for obstructing Baú, and then Marco Parolo followed him a few minutes later for a rather hard obstruction of Pablo Paz. Gentile pulled Foligno’s Boris Paolini back by his shirt just after the half-hour to wind up on a yellow card, and then Foligno’s Valerio Zappia went in with both feet on Baú.

Not surprisingly, Eder didn’t take that well and I was up off the bench too, wondering if Pinzani would show a straight red to the Foligno player. Unfortunately, he didn’t, and that got our blood up.

He did put Foligno’s Paolini into the book two minutes after that, for a highly cynical challenge on Gentile, but then my central midfielder saw a red haze and pulled back Parolo in the center of the park to earn his second yellow moments later.

After seeing four of their players go into the book in a 25-minute span, having to play them with ten ourselves was galling. I let the fourth official have a few choice comments and, when he warned me, I stopped talking for the moment.

Referee Pinzani wasn’t done yet, and my players showed their frustration. Music tripped up Matteo Coresi just one minute after Gentile had been sent off and the referee showed him a card as well.

It was getting pretty bad, and when Baú challenged Petterini for the ball during injury time I was dismayed but not surprised to see him go into the book as well. Now I did turn to the fourth official, asking him if my players would in fact be allowed to play defense today.

“Tell them to do it with their studs down,” I was told, and I didn’t react well to that.

“You might notice that Baú’s leg is bleeding,” I said. “He’s got a bit of a problem. That sort of thing goes both ways.”

“You might notice the player was carded for it,” the fourth official replied.

“Not enough,” I said. “I’ve got to calm down an angry group of players now because you let a player that drew blood on a challenge stay on the park.”

“Then I suggest you go do it,” the official said. “You’ve work to do.” The crowd whistled the officials off the Euganeo pitch and I had to note that we were due for this kind of officiating after the kindness they have shown us from the penalty spot already this season.

Fuming, I headed into the changing room to check on Baú, who was struggling badly and had to come off.

“All right, let me have your attention,” I said. “This is a clean sheet I really want kept. They’ve given you a physical challenge but you have to be smart about how you handle it. If we go to nine men, you aren’t going to handle it properly. Let’s get calmed down and figure out how we’re going to take this game to them in the second half.”

They liked the thought of being aggressive with ten men, but for me it was a matter of simple mathematics – one card plus one card equals two. I told Anaclerio he was going in for the crocked Baú – down to ten, I wanted two holding midfielders in the game anyway, Paz already playing the position. It would have been nice to call on Crovari in that situation, but with my captain missing due to suspension I didn’t have the luxury.

Then I realized that with this substitution I would have only one player on the pitch with a card. Gentile was gone, Baú was substituted, and that left the veteran Music as the only carded Padova player still on the pitch. “Take the ball at Paolini,” I told the players. “Get it to the middle and let our big horse take him on.” That would be Varricchio, who was already smiling at another American euphemism from the manager.

# # #

The players were more than happy to do as they were told and just ninety seconds after the restart the ball was at Varricchio’s feet just outside the Foligno penalty area. Ever obliging, Paolini took him down, and equally as obliging, referee Pinzani showed Paolini his second yellow card.

That evened things at ten players per side, and five minutes later they picked up their sixth card when Coresi grabbed a huge handful of Music’s shirt as my midfielder passed the Foligno player on his left.

We were in firm control of the match – Foligno still hadn’t had a shot on target by this time – and a few minutes later we were two goals to the good. This time we got the goal from an unlikely source as Stefano Sacchetti rose to head home Anaclerio’s well taken corner on 59 minutes.

It was his first goal for the club. I was very pleased to see a player who has become quite popular indeed with the supporters applauding hands over head after receiving the ovation his season-long play has deserved.

From that point forward, though, I was concerned with keeping our allotment of players on the pitch. Paz picked up a card for holding back Coresi just two minutes after Sacchetti’s goal and finally, I took off Music in favor of Mazzocco after that happened. The idea was to keep as few carded players on the pitch as possible and a few minutes later I brought Rabito on for Paz, going back to one holding midfielder with a two-goal lead and our visitors hardly threatening.

Somewhat surprisingly, despite my side picking up five cards in the match I now had no carded players on the pitch. That made me feel better – until Rabito got kicked in his left hamstring going after a 50-50 ball just six minutes after I had brought him on.

I was wondering if we’d see a seventh card on Foligno but it was not forthcoming. To make matters worse, it was soon obvious Rabito couldn’t continue. So I had to bring him off, shifting my eight remaining outfield players into a 3-4-1 alignment with Varricchio as the lone striker.

Naturally, no sooner had Rabito reached the players’ tunnel for treatment than Anaclerio was in the book, for a ticky-tack foul on Marco Parolo. It was the twelfth card of the match, six to each team, and each team had had one player sent off.

I turned to Masolini on the bench, a look of disgust on my face. “The cards are even. He’ll think he’s done a good job,” I said of the match official, and my assistant looked back at me with equal disdain.

“They do keep track of things like that over here,” he said. And I have no doubt they do.

# # #

[tenthreeleader]

The coaching staffs exchanged perfunctory handshakes after the whistle went for full time and Foligno had chalked up its ninth league loss in fourteen starts. I headed to our changing room, where the players were as charged up as you might expect after a tough, physical match.

“We got through it,” I said. “We’re going to have to patch a few things together for the return against SPAL on Wednesday but I have every confidence in you. “They kicked lumps on you for ninety minutes but you held them without a single shot on target in the entire match and I’m very proud of you for that. Enjoy this win.”

With that I went to media and was asked about my side’s role in the cardfest. “I understand when a referee needs to control the match,” I said. “My argument was with not seeing a straight red card when Baú was cut open and not seeing any card at all when Rabito had to go off through injury. When you don’t get control of the match from the beginning and then hand out eight cards in half an hour, something’s wrong someplace.”

“You get Crovari back for the Foggia match, but now Gentile is out and he has been playing well. That’s another game lost due to red-card suspension. Are you concerned about your team’s disciplinary record?”

I nodded. “I am. I’ve told the players this before and I guess I haven’t been stern enough. I’ll start taking it out of their wallets now. Getting sent off hurts the team and we need to keep our heads about us a little better. Where we want to go, you can’t lose your head and it’s up to me to make sure the players know this.”

Now we hope Monza can somehow get a result at Sassuolo tomorrow night.

# # #

Monday, December 3

Our stay at the top of Serie C1 was short.

Yesterday, Venezia drew 1-1 at Manfredonia to create a three-way logjam at the top of the league on 29 points. Tonight, though, leaders Sassuolo unjammed things with a comprehensive 3-0 win at home to suddenly sliding Monza.

It wasn’t as easy as the score made it look. I watched the match on television and the home side led only 1-0 with fifteen minutes to play before catching Monza twice on the counterattack to seal up all three points.

Right now they don’t look like they have a weakness and it’s hard to find people who would disagree. They are unbeaten in 14 league starts this season and looked every inch the best team in the league tonight.

Still, due to the peculiarities of the Italian system, we moved up a spot in the table despite not playing. In a three-way tie with Sassuolo and Venezia we are third on common results. In a two-way tie with Venezia we are preferred to them because we haven’t played each other in the league yet and we have a superior goal difference.

Perhaps if we don’t play next week we can move up another spot!

# # #

I was wondering if the morning papers would call us Gialloscudati after yesterday’s card-fest, but instead they chose to stay positive.

The bigger story for me, though, was one I feared. We can’t come to personal terms with Silva, so the player I’d love to have is one I will not get. That isn’t surprising, but it’s still disappointing.

The highest paid player on our team is Muzzi, who makes €625,000 in a contract I’d love to restructure. He is far and away the top wage earner on our club, making fully double what anyone else here earns. He also makes nearly ten times the manager’s salary, which is part of life here as well.

I met this morning with my chairman, Marcello Sestaro, to discuss what we will do this month for players we want to tender for 2008-09. I am entering this discussion assuming that this will be my club to manage, which is a positive step.

There are players I want to bring back for next year. Muzzi is one of them, with Varricchio, Andrea Cano, Paz and Vasco Faísca being others I’d like to get extended for another year. However, I can’t do it in our existing wage structure. I am still under the total wage budget but the crowds the club has been attracting aren’t enough to sustain that budget and I know it will have to be cut soon unless more people wind up in the seats.

I’d like to try to get players renegotiated before January 1 if possible, so other clubs can’t negotiate pre-contract agreements with my key players in the last six months of their current deal. So the time to move is now, and the meeting was designed to tender offers to the players I want to bring back.

Now’s the time. The rest is up to the players and management.

# # #

Tuesday, December 4

With SPAL coming in tomorrow night for the return leg in our Serie C Cup tie, I’ve got a few concerns.

I’m missing Paponi and Donadoni to yellow card suspensions and Music is knackered. He can’t play the left side of midfield. Baú, who I ordinarily wouldn’t risk in a tie like this, may have to play.

Mazzocco, who has been spotty at best since recovering from his early season injury, is going to get to play and it’s a good thing I still have De Cristofaris on the roster because he’ll be in my XI as well.

I’m seriously thinking about terminating his loan contract because he’s just not strong enough to make it in my first eleven. Reserve football in Serie C1 is not what he needs to develop and I won’t take places away from my own u-20s to put him on that roster either.

With Donadoni out due to yellow card suspension, a regular central defender will need to play. Crovari may even have to suit up because Paz and Anaclerio both worked hard Sunday against Foligno and they are my other two holding midfielders. Sometimes having a small senior squad isn’t a lot of fun. This is one of those times.

Thankfully, we don’t have to chase the tie or else I’d have real trouble. Muzzi and Varricchio are also unlikely to feature much after playing ninety minutes on Sunday, which means Di Nardo is going to be paired with emergency striker Rabito up front tomorrow night. I plan to play Rabito off Di Nardo a bit, which will change the formation to basically a 4-1-3-1-1 but which won’t be as narrow as the numbers make it sound.

I’ll basically have five midfielders out there and I’ve been flirting with the idea of trying 4-3-3 or even 4-5-1 for this match as well. Yet, the base formation of 4-1-3-2 has yielded excellent results in this Cup run so far, so I’m loathe to switch away from it when it’s working.

Ah, the decisions I have to make!

# # #

The other concern I have is how to shift my dreams from where they shouldn’t be. Frankly, I’m getting tired of it.

The latest all started tonight when I was actually vacuuming the floor of my living room. Don’t laugh. It does happen from time to time.

While moving the machine over the floor, I nearly sucked up one of Patty’s lost bracelets, which had come off her wrist one evening and wound up under my couch. I picked it up, looked at it, and shook my head sadly.

“This is just insanity,” I said. “I wonder if I could find her somehow? I either need to get her back or forget about her completely.” I was about to chastise myself for listening to the voices in my head, before I put the bracelet down on the counter.

“Yeah, I’ll just search the United States in my spare time and find her so I can give this back,” I said, mocking my own sense of nostalgia and romance. “Like she gives a damn about me.”

I then went to sleep, and naturally dreamed of doing exactly that. I woke up in a cold sweat but more importantly, I woke up frustrated.

“I miss you, Patty, but this is killing me,” I said, pounding my mattress with both fists in frustration. “Why did I fall for you?”

I then lay back on my bed, waiting for sleep to overtake me again. It was a calculated risk.

# # #

[tenthreeleader]

Wednesday, December 5

Padova 1-1 SPAL

I’ve seen more scientific matches, and we really should have blown SPAL right out of Euganeo tonight, but I’ll take this result. We have moved to the next round of the Serie C cup thanks to a 4-2 aggregate win.

Again tonight, the crowd was small. At least it didn’t rain. Only 2,804 were present but they saw us do pretty much what we wanted, when we wanted against our lower-ranked opposition. Except win, I guess, but you can’t have everything.

At least, after the first eight minutes had passed. As banged-up as we have been of late, it was still a shock to see SPAL’s Bruno Cazarine stroll right up Route One to take a perfectly-weighted lead ball into the area. It was more of a shock to see him slot past a surprised Cano to give them an away goal within the first ten minutes.

It was even more shocking to me that the goal wasn’t disallowed for offside. It surely looked to me like the player was a stride clear of Faísca in the center of our defense as the last man when the ball was played to him.

In short, the main thing I didn’t want to happen had not only happened, it had happened quickly. So, I stood in my technical area, hands on my hips, glaring at all and sundry while our erstwhile rivals celebrated around us.

They were in with a shout and suddenly our margin for error was razor thin. Our having three away goals in the bag still meant they had to score twice more to beat us, but I would have much preferred it not be even this close so early in the second leg.

However, that was SPAL’s high water mark. We soon regained the ascendancy with some very fine work on and off the ball, growing in confidence even as our patchwork squad got used to playing together. The systems work I’ve been drilling into these players has started to pay off and we closed Route One to our opponents for the rest of the night as quickly as it had opened.

For me, the key was getting onto the board and our lone true striker did just that shortly after SPAL’s opener. Di Nardo did the business for us, picking up a huge goal on a very fine feed from Rabito on seventeen minutes, finishing with a powerful header he nodded down off the ground and which rebounded into the roof of the net.

That was his third goal of this tie, and his profligacy in front of goal is a real reason to smile. We had our two-goal lead back and even though they still needed two goals, they now needed three to defeat us outright.

Instead of being worried about their attackers, however, we then remembered that the best defense is a good offense. We swarmed SPAL’s goal for the rest of the first half and only a series of wonderful saves by Matheus in their goal stopped us turning the match into a rout.

Still, I was well satisfied at halftime and figured it was only a matter of time until we broke through in the second half to win the home leg of the tie as well. The side was holding together quite well with the exception of the brain lock that had led to their goal, and I honestly didn’t think they’d hurt us much in the second half either.

It turned out I was half right. They wound up with four shots on target compared to our fifteen – but Matheus turned heroic in goal for them and we didn’t score again. We peppered him with 24 attempts in the ninety minutes and at the end they were on the ropes to be sure, but in the end the 1-1 result on the night didn’t reflect our dominance.

Two bad things were still to come, though: first, Guglielmi was carded in the second half and reached his limit, so he will miss the next Cup match through suspension; and the second was what happened to Rabito.

Trying to play after hurting his hamstring on Sunday, he put forth a brave effort but badly twisted his ankle on another 50-50 challenge midway through the second half. He had to be stretchered off and he’s going to be lost to us for awhile.

As painful as this injury was, I knew right away it wasn’t as bad as DiVenanzio’s had been at the start of the season. Rabito was hurting badly but he had flexibility in the ankle when moving it. He’ll be lost for awhile but hopefully not long enough to really hurt us.

In the final analysis, we took our chances better on the road, but played a much better overall match at home in this tie. You have to be able to grind out the results, of course, and as we left the pitch happy to have moved on, I was left to reflect on the way the match had gone.

I gathered my squad around me in the changing room and gave them the honest truth. “Fellows, that was a hell of an effort,” I said. “Considering the roles I asked some of you to play tonight, this was a real team result and all of us are responsible for getting through to the next round. Well done tonight and now let’s get some rest and get ready for Sunday.”

I was asked whether I thought Cazarine’s goal was offside. “I thought so but there’s no sense dwelling on it now,” I said, in a mood to be gracious. “The tie is over, we’ve moved on, and I thought we were excellent in both our approach and our application tonight despite scoring only one goal.”

“And your thoughts on Matheus in their goal?”

“That’s not a goalkeeper, that’s a contortionist,” I replied. “Wasn’t he good? I thought he was tremendous and we could have scored five or six against some of the keepers we’ve faced this season. Yet we’ve moved on and in the end, that’s all that matters.”

# # #

We’ve also learned our next opponent in this competition, and again we will play lower-ranked opposition.

Teramo, the tenth-placed side in Serie C2B, is up for us next. We will again be fancied and we welcome the challenge.

# # #

[tenthreeleader]

Thursday, December 6

With the holiday season approaching, I’m starting to make plans to go home.

Not permanently, unless someone doesn’t want me to come back here, but I’d really love the opportunity to spend the holidays with my family. There’s no reason for me to stay here now, and frankly I would prefer not to be depressed as the holidays pass.

We’ll be taking a three-week break over that time and it will be welcome. I don’t plan to be too far away, though – we’ll be in negotiation with players over that time so even as I asked my chairman for permission to go home for the holidays we both knew I’m only an e-mail away if I’m needed.

The club also got some good financial news today. Both our matches on either side of the Christmas holiday will be televised.

Our home match against Monza on December 17, which is the start of the Novena here, is on television. So is our derby matchup at Venezia on January 7, which is the day after Epiphany on January 6.

My plan is to go home right after the Monza match and return New Year’s Eve to prepare for the Venezia match. Injured players will get a chance to heal, and Masolini has agreed to take training for a few days prior to my return for those players who need the conditioning help.

I’m looking forward to getting away. I could use a break.

# # #

Friday, December 7

Foggia is a club right on the edges of the promotion race, so they’ll have all to play for when we visit them Sunday. They are seventh in the table, with five wins and five draws in their fourteen starts.

It’s also going to be a long trip, one of our longer drives of the season. It’s every bit of four hours by coach, so we’ll be leaving tomorrow. I’ll have most of my first-choice side to bring with me to Pino Zaccheria, and I’m hoping to take advantage of the other big match happening on Sunday.

Sassuolo travels to Pierluigi Penzo to play Venezia and I’m actually hoping for a draw. I wouldn’t mind seeing the leaders finally lose, but if we can get a road result we can really shake up the top of the table. With the break coming up, and our next match at home to Monza on the 17th, we can head off for the holidays on a high note.

Today, though, we talked about our opposition with media for their previews. Their captain, Antonio Cardinale, is quite an inspirational leader but the player who worries me is Gianvito Plasmati, a talented striker who is due for a good game. Foggia has the quality to give us a tussle on Sunday and my concern today was to help the players realize that even though we ourselves are twelve matches unbeaten in the league, we aren’t top yet and won’t be top without help from someone else.

If we start believing what may well be written about us if we go a few more matches without losing, we might well lose everything – more than football matches, to be sure. We can’t let that happen. So today’s training was all about staying focused and all about being mentally tough when we’re a long, long way from home.

# # #

Saturday, December 8

Today’s trip was fairly uneventful and spent, at least on my end, asleep.

I haven’t done a whole lot of relaxing on travel days but we seem to be in a decent rhythm of late so I was able to close my eyes for a little bit of our lovely drive down the Adriatic coast.

When I woke up, my shoelaces were tied together and I had shave cream in my hair, but at least I had a nice nap. I think that’s a reasonably good thing in terms of the squad coming together, but I guess it came at a price!

I didn’t even have rotten dreams, which seem to have been plaguing me lately. The McGuire/Patty dream I mentioned earlier is now a recurring theme, and that annoys me to no end. I get tired of having the same dream over and over again, especially when the end result of it is for me to wake up angry.

The result of it all is for me to not get enough sleep at night. That’s one reason I was dead to the world on the coach this afternoon and one reason the squad was able to abuse the manager in such a fashion.

Some would have viewed that as gross disrespect. I viewed it as my players trying to help me get my mind off a bad situation. In that, they entirely succeeded. As I elbowed my way past them to the coach’s back room and sink to wash out my hair, I looked around for laughing faces. I didn’t see any, but if I had, retribution would have been swift and hopefully fairly humorous.

The players are trying to bring me back to the land of the living. I appreciate that, even as I continue to struggle with how all the bad things happened. I understand there’s a time for grieving – but you don’t wear black forever. Not in this business.

# # #

[tenthreeleader]

Sunday, December 9

Foggia 1-1 Padova

I do think we learned something about ourselves this afternoon on a day where we did not play well.

We hung in there and managed to get a point on a day where we were decidedly second best. I’m proud of that, even as I’m a bit less than impressed with our general play today.

So my glass is half full. We have extended our unbeaten streak to thirteen in the league, but in the best Scandinavian tradition, there’s bad news to go with the good. In so doing, we dropped a spot in the table.

Sassuolo finally lost today, but it was 1-0 to Venezia, which means we only gain one point on them while losing two to our local rivals. They are now co-leaders on 32 points while our record of eight wins, six draws and one defeat trails both of them by two points.

Still, it could have been worse – we could easily have lost and were it not for a rather shocking miss late in the game, we would have.

Part of our woe was due to still another injury, this one to Muzzi. The last match he missed through injury was the Sassuolo road match and we all know what happened to us that day. Hopefully, there will be no repeat a week from tomorrow against Monza.

I’m getting ahead of myself. We started brightly, scoring our goal within the first fifteen minutes. As has already happened so often this season, Baú was the provider, putting a world-class move on Cardinale to get to the byline on the right. He then pulled the ball back into the box for who else but Varricchio.

Massimiliano had no trouble hitting the yawning net to put us ahead in the early going – but then we just stopped producing. I couldn’t understand it as I watched the first half go by, but we just went to sleep.

Part of that was due to Muzzi’s injury. Roberto took a nasty cut to the forehead while going up for a header. He came down hard after an accidental elbow to the mush. He had to go off due to the bleeding, and it took another few minutes for me to get the word that it was a jagged cut that would need additional repairs. Rather than play with ten for so long on the road, I took Roberto off since we had the lead.

I‘m not sure, in retrospect, that this was the correct decision. I think that cost us a bit of our spark and we did miss Roberto’s veteran presence up front. Suddenly we were searching for offensive identity and even though Paponi is a terrific talent up front, he’s still learning and struggled to work as well with Varricchio as Muzzi does.

Foggia then started to assert themselves, with Orlandoni standing tall between the sticks to keep us in the lead. He made a magnificent double save on Plasmati, who worked his way between Sacchetti and Faísca to get a fifteen-yard bullet away that the keeper shoved right back to him for a second bite of the cherry. Orlandoni tipped that shot over the bar and earned a fine ovation from the home fans in response.

Yet, even he couldn’t stop the hosts from equalizing in first half injury time. Cardinale, who had been beaten so comprehensively by Baú in the buildup to our first goal, redeemed himself in fine fashion just before the break.

He took a good linking ball from the defense and made a very nice pass to his right to Ivan Tisci. The midfielder took one step and ripped a 25-yard wonder strike over Orlandoni and into the top right corner of the goal, giving Foggia a richly deserved draw at the break.

There was just no stopping it, and even though it changed my halftime team talk the basic message was the same: we’re getting outplayed. The difference was now that I could point to the scoreboard to show a chink in our armor.

While working on a way to keep their midfielders out of the play I soon realized they were getting the better of the 4-1-3-2. So I changed out of it, into a 4-4-2 with a counter option for the second half. I would have preferred a little more of the possession as the ultimate way to stop their midfield dominance but if I couldn’t have that, I wanted to at least take advantage of our passing ability to get back at them in a different fashion.

Yet as the second half wore on, it became increasingly obvious that we weren’t going to get the possession edge I wanted to see. After that it became a matter of survival as Foggia moved into total control of the match.

Orlandoni held us in the match, though, and we made it to injury time still with the draw. Then my heart went into my throat as substitute Antonio Esposito put the ball right into the right hand channel three minutes into injury time – and the back four seemed to part like the Red Sea.

Plasmati latched onto it and cut sharply to the middle, with only Orlandoni to beat. He actually had time to settle himself and looked for the lower left corner as he shot. And he put it wide.

Their bench reacted incredulously, and I looked on with a blank expression at having been spared a very long ride home with no points. It was a sitter, and Plasmati had flat out missed it. Moments later, we got the full time whistle and hastily found our way to the changing room before someone took the point away from us. We were very, very lucky.

I actually had a smile on my face, though, as I faced the team. “This is the kind of match where teams who aren’t going anywhere get nothing,” I said. “As good as they were – and let’s face it, they were better than we were – they didn’t beat you. Be pleased with that but understand that we have one week before a very big game, and we need to get it right. Now hit the showers.”

I had no problem agreeing with the press after the game, as well. They told me I was second best and there was no sense denying it.

“The statistics tell part of the story, yes,” I said. “But the one that matters the most shows we had as many goals as they did. They had more chances, they had better chances, and if you asked me if they deserved three points I’d have to tell you yes. But they didn’t get three points and I’m not ashamed to take one back with me to Padua.”

There’s another, more pressing issue to deal with next week. Baú picked up his fourth yellow card of the season during the match. He’s suspended for the next match and with Rabito injured and Muzzi out for 1-2 weeks, that means I have exactly zero right-sided midfielders for the Monza match.

# # #

Today we also had our first managerial casualty of the Serie C season.

Citadella got off to a great start this season but are now winless in four and have dropped three on the spin after falling 3-0 to Novara. That cost manager Claudio Foscarini his job.

I’d hate to think that there would be a situation where my own job could be in jeopardy after that stretch of results but there are places where it’s true. I’ve got expectations from my own board and if we fall out of the playoff places I suppose I could be under similar pressure.

We’re about to face another manager who is under similar pressure, Monza’s Giuliano Sonzogni. After Monza’s quick start he has now lost three out of four and the last two without a goal – including today’s 1-0 loss at tail-end Lecco, the home team’s first win in eleven matches.

Yet, after a match where we deserved to lose, we didn’t. We dropped a spot in the table but are comfortably in the playoff places. And as the coach moved back north toward home, I feel pretty good about that.

# # #

[tenthreeleader]

Monday, December 10

“Round up the usual suspects.” – Captain Louis Renault, ‘Casablanca’

If the late Claude Rains had read our papers today he might have said the articles about yesterday’s match were written by “the usual suspects”.

I chose the odd analogy for today’s entry for two reasons. First, the road draw at Foggia and our corresponding drop in the table has the voices of concern out for us again. That’s annoying.

It’s also not terribly surprising, since the same people seem to ride our bandwagon when we win and walk alongside it when we don’t. Yet here’s what bothers me the most – being unbeaten for nearly half the Serie C1 season, I still haven’t won over a significant part of the local press.

In such a circumstance, I wonder when, or if, it will happen at all. That is profoundly disturbing to me, since it will hinder my ability to do my job.

Second, I was able to escape this evening with perhaps my favorite movie of all time. I watched Casablanca on a DVD in my living room for a little dramatic renewal of purpose.

As an American, there is no movie character I enjoy more than Rick Blaine, played by the great Humphrey Bogart. And after watching the movie, I feel a little better about my own situation.

It’s a bit sad that I seem to need a movie to cheer me up, but the thing I like best about Rick is that the character isn’t afraid to say exactly what’s on his mind. After losing Ilsa in Paris, she of course comes to him in Casablanca. She is trying to flee to America with her husband, Victor Laszlo.

Rick always knew that Ilsa would come back to him, and in the scene I was watching she finally does. Ilsa finds Rick stupendously inebriated after closing time. Unlike me, he has the opportunity to let out his hurt and he does so in quite a direct fashion.

I lay on my couch, where I cuddled Patty many times, and watched Rick lower the boom on his beloved Ilsa Lund:

RICK

Why did you have to come to Casablanca? There are other places.

ILSA

I wouldn't have come if I'd known that you were here. Believe me, Rick. It's true. I didn't know.

RICK

It's funny about your voice how it hasn't changed. I can still hear it: 'Richard, dear, I'll go with you anyplace. We'll get on a train together and never stop.'

ILSA

Please, don't. Don't, Rick! I can understand how you feel.

RICK

Huh! You understand how I feel. How long was it we had, honey?

ILSA

I didn't count the days.

RICK

Well, I did. Every one of them. Mostly, I remember the last one. The ‘wow’ finish. A guy standing on a station platform in the rain with a comical look on his face, because his insides had been kicked out.

ILSA

Can I tell you a story, Rick?

RICK

Does it got a ‘wow’ finish?

ILSA

I don't know the finish yet.

RICK

Go on and tell it. Maybe one will come to you as you go along.

Rick’s morbid sense of anger was a bit over the top but I suspect it’s how a lot of men who have loved and lost have felt – and women too, I suppose.

I raised my own glass to the screen and thought of Patty. “Here’s looking at you, kid,” I said, downing my drink. “I’m going home.”

# # #

[tenthreeleader]

Tuesday, December 11

My flight reservations for the States are confirmed. I’m flying out right after the match – ironically, from Venice.

My flight will take me from Marco Polo International Airport to London Heathrow and from thence to New York City. Flying west will be tiring but I’ll get home at mid-morning on Monday.

After taking yesterday off to recover from the travel, the senior squad was back at work today to prepare for the crunch clash with Monza.

Our mood was good. We are disappointed not to have played better but let’s face it – we’re getting something out of every match of late and we think that will eventually lead to good things.

We do have a significant issue on the right side of midfield, though. Andrea Bovo is up from the reserves and will see his first senior action of the season on Sunday. Players do need to be ready for these types of things and he knows he is getting a long awaited chance. However, he has been behind Baú, Rabito and Muzzi on the depth chart all season and hasn’t been able to break through.

Now, with Baú suspended and Muzzi and Rabito both injured, his chance has arrived. If he takes it with both hands he may stick around for awhile.

# # #

Wednesday, December 12

We have the late match this week – everyone else in the league is playing Sunday so when we face Monza we’ll have either opportunity or added pressure.

Venezia is at Lecco, and my hope is that the tail-end side in the league is able to duplicate the form that led to their win over Monza last round. Sassuolo is at home to Manfredonia. Even though the visitors are improving I still look at them as the club against which my offensively challenged lads scored five times without reply.

Cremonese has been hanging around as well, and they are also in action Saturday. If all the top teams win on Saturday we will enter Sunday’s play fourth in the table. I’m hoping we don’t have to worry about that.

# # #

However, the journos are quite worried about that, and quizzed me hard after today’s training. “Are you feeling pressure?” I was asked.

“I’m not feeling pressure unless you’re placing it there,” I said. “We’ve started strongly, we are definitely in the hunt, and the players need space to breathe. My job is to give it to them so if you want to place pressure, fine. Place it on me.”

“What do you think about Giuliano Sonzogni’s position at Monza?”

“He’s a good manager,” I said. “He has brought his club to the edges of the playoff places and when you have clubs challenged financially like a lot of us are in this league, that’s an accomplishment. I know Monza has had a dip in form and it’s my job to make sure that dip continues. That said, I know Giuliano is going to try to wreck our form as well after the way we played at Foggia.”

“What do you have to say about the clubs above you in the table?”

“They’re playing as well as we are,” I said. “One has already beaten us and the other one we have faced in the Cup group stages. We know they are good sides and we’ve got half the league season to figure out how we’re going to gain the points we need to overtake them.”

“Are you planning significant changes now that Muzzi, Rabito and Baú are all out of the lineup at the same time?”

“We do have some squad depth here,” I bristled. “I’m not saying that we’ll have everyone out there that we’d like, but the players we put out will be briefed on how to do a professional job and they know when they pull on the white shirt they are expected to perform. I don’t think we’ll drop off.”

“Are you afraid of a dip in form after being so comprehensively outplayed at Foggia?”

I smiled. “You’ll have to come to Euganeo on Monday to see,” I said. “I’m not concerned.”

# # #

Thursday, December 13

I think the only thing that might have made today worse from a purely personal point of view would have been if it were Friday the 13th instead of Thursday.

First off, it rained, meaning the outdoor training session was short. We don’t have the facilities of the biggest clubs so that put a cramp in our style. The rest of training was cardio-vascular in nature, which is a bit of a pity since the squad is in match fitness for the most part and what we need are drills to help us finish better.

Yet as the saying goes, a change is as good as a holiday and the players didn’t seem to mind all that much.

However, one month to the day after the fiasco in Venice, Kate called. I know her heart was in the right place but it’s just something I don’t need right now.

I sat at my desk at work, watching Monza’s match at Lecco on our scouting DVD for the third time, when the phone rang. Christina Angelotti was on the other end of the line.

“Rob, Kate McGuire is on the phone hoping you will speak with her,” she said, and the correct response would have been to deny the call.

But, for some reason that I think had to do with wanting something positive to think about in my life, I elected to take the call. I hoped to have a positive conversation.

“Hello, Rob,” she said. “I wanted to call to wish you a Happy Christmas and also to let you know a few other things.”

I sighed heavily. “Last time I learned a few things it hurt like hell,” I said. “But enough about that. Merry Christmas to you and yours.”

“I wanted you to know I’ve decided to stay with Peter,” she said. “He’s quite contrite and after our e-mail exchange, he’s also very much under control.”

Her news didn’t surprise me at all. I’m also beyond being hurt by hearing it.

“Well, congratulations, Kate. I’m glad for you. You won’t mind my saying that I hope the tight leash you keep on him goes right around his fool neck.”

“I know that what I did that night helped cost you your relationship with Patty,” she said. “I’m calling to apologize. I once wrote you that I wanted you to find the best in life and then I helped you lose it. Since I’ve explained what happened with Peter, I want to know what I can do to make it up to you.”

The English have a word that I find marvelously useful in circumstances such as the one in which I now found myself. I was “gobsmacked”.

I shook my head. “Kate, would you mind repeating that, please?” I asked. “I’m not quite sure I heard you right.”

“I said I’d like to make it up to you,” she said. “I know that’s hard to believe, but I do care about you and I want to put it right. I’d like to help.”

“Does it got a ‘wow’ finish?” I asked, out of impulse.

“Excuse me?”

“Nothing,” I answered. “Nothing at all.”

# # #

She told me she wanted my permission to try and approach Patty on my behalf. I told her she didn’t need my permission, and reminded her that unwanted approaches from her husband – both to Patty and to me – had started the problem in the first place. Still, I discouraged her from trying.

“I don’t think it would do any good, Kate,” I said. “I just don’t think it’s something I want to pursue. So I would ask you not to pursue it on my behalf.”

“Well, it wasn’t fair to you, what happened.”

“This will sound trite, Kate, but thank you for noticing.”

“I haven’t forgotten,” she said. “Like I wrote, no matter what happens I’ll always care for you.”

Suddenly, I grew tired of the conversation. “Thank you, Kate,” I said. “I need to go. Merry Christmas and hug your kids for me.”

Then, I hung up.

# # #

[tenthreeleader]

Friday, December 14

Quietly, we have begun negotiations with the agents of several key players on expiring contracts. For the most part, I have been quite pleased with the answers I’ve received, with one notable exception.

We offered one-year contract extensions to Varricchio, Faísca, Sacchetti, Paz, Cano and Muzzi today with the first five on the list indicating they would accept less money to stay. That was about the best news I could have hoped for.

However, club policy calls for automatic 25 percent in the event of promotion, so the wage bill would be roughly the same in Serie B if we are fortunate enough to get promoted next season. However, if all the players agree, we will get relief from our current wage bill and help our bottom line in a big way.

The only player who wasn’t receptive was Muzzi, who does not appear to wish to stay next season. That’s football, but at his salary level of €625,000 per year I could probably find a couple of decent players to replace him.

Also, we are talking with the board about making a bid for defender Angelo Antonazzo, who is available for €50,000. He’s not Anderson Silva, but he does play a mean right back position, which would allow me to slot Paz into the holding role if he comes here. If Antonazzo arrives, he’d be my record signing and he would be under pressure to play well immediately.

Hellas Verona is interested in the player as well, and I wouldn’t mind pipping our regional rival for a good player who is comparatively young (26) and talented. I don’t see us making any other moves in January, with Caputo also on his way in from Juve Stabia.

The business side of the game doesn’t really appeal to me. I’d rather manage. But crunching numbers is part and parcel of being a manager nowadays, especially at a smaller club.

After a morning of Serie C1 finance lessons, I took afternoon training with the club and felt a lot better. The plan is in place for Monza and I would rather worry about that than about budgets and agents and contract extensions.

# # #

Now my mind is set on something else I’d prefer it not be on – Kate’s call of yesterday.

I am convinced that there are some people in this world who simply can’t leave a bad thing alone. I’ve gone from flattered that she called to angry that she did what she did to incredulous that she would think she could somehow sort everything out by getting a hold of a person whose whereabouts are completely unknown to me. Patty was born in Chicago and still has family there, but I have no idea if she’s at home now or what her plans might be. Lord knows she hasn’t contacted me to let me know.

I do think the best thing for me is to forget about Patty. That won’t be easy because deep down I do love her, but the pain trying to find a full-time relationship has caused is more than I can bear at the moment.

It’s Christmas, I’m alone, and people keep popping into my life at the worst possible times. If my apartment contained a hole big enough for me to slide into, I’d be in it right now. I would simply like to be left alone.

# # #

Saturday, December 15

With the squad away from training today, we had a very big day at the bargaining table.

All the players to whom we offered contracts have agreed terms. That’s a big thing for me – I know I can depend on these players and all of them can hang in Serie B if that’s where we wind up next season.

The only player who may be an exception is Cano, who has been second choice to Orlandoni all season. Yet I need him as veteran cover for Jeremy Busarello, who may wind up going out on loan in January for first-team experience.

Muzzi, as expected, rejected our offer of a new contract and I am wondering when he’ll start negotiating with other clubs. His intentions seem to be pretty plain. If I were him, I’d want one more good-sized contract as well. Too, since he’s the same age I am, I’m not going to tell him he shouldn’t look for one.

We’ll have big news for the Sunday editions tomorrow, and that will be a positive thing for the club. We can now afford to show a little ambition in the January window as well, and that will hopefully position us better both on the pitch and in the pressrooms around the region. We are quite close to growth that will really mean something to this club and it’s an exciting time.

I’d love to be able to bring back players like Orlandoni, Baú, Gotti and Paponi next season as well, but of course all depends on their loaning clubs. If we’re promoted we’d be playing against Baú and Spezia next season, and I don’t see Udinese letting us keep Gotti for very long. Paponi is another player I’d love to bring back and as a Serie B club we might even get him.

The main goal is this, though: a Serie B club might get better loan players from its Serie A parent club, which of course is Lazio for us. If the budgets remain tight, a parent club willing to loan us useful players might prove all important. The parent club usually pays the salary of the player, which helps us in more ways than one.

But I hope that’s for the future. If we don’t win matches first, I won’t have to worry about it at all.

# # #

Sunday, December 16

It’s as I feared heading into tomorrow’s match. All the teams around us won, so we are five points adrift with a match in hand as we prepare to play.

Venezia won 1-0 at Lecco, who put up a brave fight but still succumbed to Emanule Pesoli’s 23rd minute strike. Even though Manfredonia has put up better results of late, they still fell 2-0 at Sassuolo, meaning the leaders are right back on the winning track after stumbling last week.

Novara won as well, so they moved above us too, on overall goal difference. It makes tomorrow’s match quite important indeed.

I spent my morning working with the television broadcasters for tomorrow’s match, who arrived at Euganeo today for their walk-through. When a match is to be televised, especially from a venue not usually home to television, production crews arrive at midweek to begin setting up, making needed electrical connections and doing pre-game work that will show up on the air.

Part of that work involves meeting with the managers. I had time with the match broadcasters this afternoon and when Monza arrived, with Sonzogni as well. I passed him in the hallway and we exchanged a brief greeting and exchange of good wishes.

He knows full well that if we take his team down on Monday, he may lose his job. So as we exchanged pleasantries, I know he is under pressure.

It’s rather unfair that a road victory against a top-five side should be required for a manager to keep his position, but that’s where Sonzogni finds himself. It’s no fun, it’s nerve-wracking, and it’s absolutely cutthroat.

Football is a hard game that way. You develop friends, you sometimes develop lifelong enmities, and when all is said and done the guy who loses winds up looking for something else. Beating friends on the touchline is no fun. Yet, it’s either done, or you become friends out of football.

So as Sonzogni headed off for his interview time with the television crew I wondered if he’d leave tomorrow still in a job.

Then I realized that with 30 points, I’m now fourth in the table and my board expects promotion. I have problems of my own.

# # #

Yet tonight, as I reached my apartment, I had a moment that reminded me there are things more important than this game.

The Novena began this evening -- the start of the Christmas season in Italy. And as part of the celebration, children will go door to door singing and reading pastorals. Most of the time the recitations involve the journey of the shepherds to the manger.

I arrived home at sundown and met a group of young children, escorted by parents, in the hallway by my apartment door.

They recognized me and we shared greetings. Finally, the children spoke.

It was a beautiful moment. Clean scrubbed faces spoke with a child’s faith through bright, hopeful eyes, reminding me of what is truly important in life.

I smiled down at the children as they finished their story. I invited them all inside for a glass of juice and spent a few moments sharing the joy of the season.

They left and I looked around my apartment. There was no tree, no indication of the season, and precious little holiday spirit. Yet, the children had taken care of all that for me.

# # #

[tenthreeleader]

Monday, December 17

Padova 2-0 Monza

We broke for the holidays after winning under no small amount of pressure this evening at Euganeo. And as I write I am winging my way westward toward home.

It was an odd day in a lot of respects. I woke up thinking about Kate and that annoyed me. I felt much like a used child’s toy must feel – fondly remembered but all squeezed out nonetheless.

I shook that thought out of my mind and looked at the suitcases packed and in the corner of my living room for the trip home. That cheered me up a bit and I rose to face the day now focusing rapidly on the challenge of our visitors.

As I walked to the ground this morning I threw on my mp3 player and Bose headphones, wishing they had stadium music in Italy like they do in the States. I listened to ace sax man Eric Darius whaling away to “Slick”, one of my very favorite tunes, and as usual I was in a better mood when the song was done.

My eye clear and my head focused, I arrived at 10:00 to start my day. One of my favorite things to do as a player was to arrive very early on a match day and watch the stadium wake up. This was especially true when I played at Ibrox, which seems to have history in the air.

Euganeo is a little different, but the place still has its charms. As a relatively new stadium, it is a pleasant place to gather and watch a match, even though the longtime supporters detest the athletics track that surrounds the pitch.

I spent my morning in my office watching the Monday morning recap shows and a replay of Reading’s EPL home victory over Fulham. Amazingly, they remain top of the table by two points over Liverpool, though I wonder how long that will last once the heavy holiday fixture list hits. I’m sure Berkshire is going wild over the club’s success and I couldn’t be happier for them.

It was fun to watch one of my old clubs, but more importantly it was fun to simply watch a match as a neutral again. My trips have already taken me all over Italy in my short tenure here so it’s fun to sit back and watch someone else play without worrying about how to stop them the next week.

I did my traditional pre-match workout earlier this time, so I was ready for a relaxing afternoon after lunch. I went over the team sheet again, reviewed my Monza notes, and waited for the senior squad to arrive for the match.

It was a very pleasant day indeed. The players made the evening even better.

# # #

Sacchetti is becoming a bit of an offensive revelation for us. After a fairly technical and tactical first half, he opened the scoring for us on his second goal for the club.

Again, we did it from a set piece, with his header finding the range four minutes before halftime – and fourth-choice Andrea Bovo was the provider from the corner.

If you had asked me – or better yet, asked our punters – what the odds were that Sacchetti would score the first goal or that Bovo would be involved in it, I wouldn’t have known what to say. I surely wouldn’t have given odds, and anyone making book on it was probably tearing out their hair by the roots at the thought of paying out.

Still, that’s the beauty of management. I don’t have to care how they go in the net, as long as they go in.

Statistically, the half was about even but we had the lead at the break so that shaped my team talk. “Give me 45 more good minutes and you can rest for the holidays,” I smiled. “You worked hard and got a good goal to give yourselves the lead. Don’t squander it and let’s make Monza work for everything they get. Play hard for each other and let’s get the points today.”

I was pleased to note that our intensity didn’t drop in the second half and as a result, the chances our visitors got were of poor quality. They had six shots on target for the match, the same as we got, but ours were from much better positions.

Such as the penalty spot, where Varricchio found himself in the 76th minute. He was felled like so much tall timber while striding toward goal with the ball at his feet and the spot kick was given. With Baú suspended and Muzzi hurt, Massimiliano smiled at the chance to take the penalty.

He dispatched the spot kick with ease, perhaps giving me something else to think about down the road, and the 2-0 lead was more than enough for us to hold.

Despite the relative ease with which we kept them away from goal, it was a gritty match. Strong challenges abounded, and it was clear to me that the Monza players were trying to save their manager’s job. They played with passion but fortunately for us, without sufficient application to really cause trouble.

That will happen to a side struggling to score goals. They can huff and puff all they want but when it comes time to make something happen in front of goal, the flesh is too often weak.

The full time whistle blew, we celebrated our victory, and as I shook hands with Sonzogni I wondered if we had just gotten him sacked.

# # #

I had good words for Bovo in the changing room after the match. He had come up from the reserves, without a senior game all season, and had held us on the right side of midfield for the full 90 minutes.

I know he wants to play and the look of self-satisfaction he gave me showed he thinks he deserves greater consideration. I don’t blame him a scrap for that. I’d think the same thing too. But he also knows he has to show me he deserves to stay when the club returns to training. Poor training was one reason he didn’t stick with the senior squad.

In that respect, the game comes at the worst possible time for him – with three weeks between games, I’m sure he can’t wait to get back out there. Yet, the facts are plain. Baú will no longer be suspended and Muzzi’s face will have healed to allow him to play as well. It will be difficult for Andrea. He’ll have to earn it.

# # #

I had a flight to catch. Word was hitting the news wires of our mass signings for next season, and I was also told as I headed out of Euganeo that Sonzogni had indeed been sacked by Monza chairman Gianbattista Begnini.

Monza was picked to finish third by the media in pre-season, but today’s loss was their fourth in five matches while scoring only one goal. Our match was the third on the spin where they hadn’t scored.

Managing is a difficult life, no doubt about it. Personally, I think Monza’s season-long record and the fact that half the season still remains should be enough to keep the wolves from his door, but not every chairman has that kind of patience. I sent Sonzogni a message of condolence – really, I wasn’t certain what I should do and I thought it would at least be polite to let him know I respected the job he did – and headed to Venice and the Marco Polo airport.

# # #

I arrived at 10:00, 90 minutes before the last flight of the night. Three hours later, I was in Heathrow. An hour after that I was sitting in something of a zombified state as my connecting flight headed west across the Atlantic Ocean toward home.

I finally dozed off fitfully as the American East Coast loomed large under the plane’s wings. I woke to a flight attendant’s hand on my shoulder, gently shaking me awake.

“Sir, you need to fasten your seat belt,” she said, and my head snapped up with a start. I saw her name tag – naturally, it read Patty – and had a momentary out-of-body experience as I tried to figure out where I was.

“I miss you,” I mumbled, half-awake and adjusting to my surroundings.

“Excuse me, sir?” she asked.

I shook my head. “Sorry, just dreaming,” I said. “I didn’t mean to offend.”

# # #

[tenthreeleader]

Monday, December 24

Spending a week off at home has been very good for me. I’ve managed to reconnect with my family, a process which was helped by the Italian gifts I brought them being opened tonight under the family Christmas tree.

I even relaxed a bit. I’ve been in daily contact with the club by e-mail and it was very nice not to have to worry about day-to-day matters for a little while. Even when in Rome earlier this season I still had matters of business to attend to but this was a genuine week away.

However, today’s message was a bit different. Sestaro e-mailed me, asking if I wanted to leave. I e-mailed him back and asked why.

He sent me an e-mail link to a story saying that the New England Revolution have fired manager Steve Nicol and manager Rob Ridgway will be approached “if his current club, Serie C1 contenders Padova, will let him leave”. I didn’t bother to think about correcting the article to correctly lay out Serie C1A and C1B, because I had other things to worry about.

Marcello’s meaning was pretty plain. If I want to leave, he’ll allow the approach. Suddenly I wished my office was somewhat closer than 2,000 miles away. The conversation I needed to have was better held in person.

So I did the next best thing. I placed an international phone call, and soon was talking directly with my chairman.

“I have no desire to leave unless you want me gone,” I said. “So I need to know why you are asking the question.”

“We are satisfied with the job you are doing and obviously we are thrilled with the club’s league placement,” he said. “We need to know your intentions, though, before we reply to New England Revolution.”

That seemed reasonable, and I repeated myself. “I have no intention of leaving Padova,” I said. “My job isn’t done and I don’t want to leave under those circumstances.”

“Then we will deny permission,” he replied. “There was nothing sinister about it, I assure you.”

I thanked him, hung up the phone, and took a deep breath. Sometimes this job leaves me wondering why I got into it in the first place.

# # #

Thursday, December 27

To my way of thinking, flying east isn’t a whole lot more fun than flying west.

As I write, it’s 5:30 in the morning, I’m not the least bit tired, and I’m sitting back in my apartment in Padua wondering how long it will take my body to adjust to its surroundings again. I had my last day off today to try to get my body clock back on something approaching a realistic schedule. I know, I know, good luck with that.

In a way it’s very nice to be back. In another way, I feel a little wistful. I like living in Europe and I enjoy being able to ply my trade overseas, with all the challenges the job entails. Yet I’m not sure I’m ready. I was due for a holiday and I’m glad I took one. Yet as I look at the job I still have to do, it seems like a long way.

I watched the EPL yesterday as the clubs battled it out on Boxing Day. Reading fell out of first place in the league as I watched them crash 3-0 at Stamford Bridge to Chelsea. Liverpool, which hasn’t won a title since the Premier League was created, now leads the pack by a single point.

There will be those who’ll say Reading’s fall was inevitable, but I know it probably wasn’t inevitable to Steve Coppell. He’s done a tremendous job there and since I can safely assume he manages like he played, no one in his organization is happy at the moment.

My senior squad has been back since yesterday, with Masolini taking training the last two days while I recover from my trip. I get to go back tomorrow and resume my responsibilities.

We also got some news that is welcome today from a player standpoint. Angelo Antonazzo chose us over Hellas Verona – the second time we’ve pipped our regional rival for a quality player this season – and will arrive from Modena next week. He’ll arrive with Massimiliano Caputo, the other player who chose us over Verona.

He gives me another badly needed body at right back and allows me to make the move with Paz in midfield that I have been itching to make for some time.

It has been an active two weeks on the player front for us. I am looking forward to the new players’ arrival and to seeing what they can add to the squad.

# # #

Friday, December 28

There’s nothing like arriving back at the office to complaints. It gives me a warm feeling inside.

I had barely greeted Masolini in the changing room before reserve defender Alessandro Mastronicola approached with a written transfer request.

“I would like to play,” he said simply. I can’t blame him. He hasn’t been able to break through and Antonazzo’s signing will cast Mastronicola’s second-team status in cement.

I took his letter and nodded. “I have to be honest,” I said. “I don’t see you doing that here for the foreseeable future. Therefore, you can leave. I will list you and do my best to help you find a new club.”

Alessandro accepted the word with good grace. Obviously, he wanted to stay here, but if I can’t play him, I owe it to the player to be honest. Right now, unless pestilence was to strike my backline, I can’t play him.

So we’ll see who offers, and I will wish him well. In the meantime, I have work to do.

# # #

[tenthreeleader]

Thursday, January 3

Calendar year 2008 has started with a couple of new arrivals.

Antonazzo was here for the morning training session and had his kit sorted out by 8:30 this morning. He was followed ten minutes later by former Juve Stabia captain Caputo. The two players represent €74,000 worth of our transfer budget.

Their arrivals also give me something approaching the size of squad I feel is necessary. With Caputo’s arrival, players like Mazzocco and even Vedin Music are going to find themselves squeezed for playing time. As good as Vedin was earlier in the season, his form has fallen and one of the hardest decisions I’ve had to make at this club is deciding to limit his playing time.

Yet Vedin’s dip in form has coincided with a couple of alarming trends: a bit of a dropoff in his pace and a decided dropoff in his ability to strike the ball. Frankly, that’s alarming to me and in a close race such as this one, I can’t allow past form to completely guide my decisions.

I’m going to give him every opportunity to earn his place back, but right now he’s going to slot in behind the new arrival, Caputo. I don’t have much choice.

The new players had energetic training sessions today, especially Caputo, who looks like he really wants to be here. Both he and Antonazzo are relatively young (26) and appear to be able to adapt to the tactic I have employed.

Unless both players drop off dramatically between now and Sunday, they will both go straight into the side for Venezia. I like Caputo’s energy and ability to get the ball into places it needs to go and Antonazzo looks like a shutdown right full back. I’m excited to see what they can do.

# # #

Changes are on the way too, in the form of departures. Paz’s movement to midfield has made Anaclerio expendable and he is now on the transfer list. Mastronicola lasted about 24 hours on the transfer list before I had six offers for him.

He is headed to Serie C2 side Olbia for €6,000. That doesn’t sound like much but it is actually twice the club’s total prize money for reaching the second round of the Serie C Cup. Again, in this game, it’s all relative.

# # #

Friday, January 4

The media war has started before Sunday’s match on another big day for us in terms of player transfer news.

Andrea Bovo, who we co-own, is on the transfer list as well and his sale would help replenish the coffers. His listed value is €70,000, as determined by his co-owners. Now, I wasn’t the best math student in the world, but I do think that means our share of his sale price would be €35,000, and that would more than pay for Caputo’s transfer in.

Andrea’s name on the transfer list resulted in a flood of offers –no less than twenty clubs expressed interest in him by noon today, and it’s not surprising that the player wishes to leave. For us, it’s a choice of accepting the best offer and then letting the player agree terms.

The news isn’t quite so good concerning Anaclerio, who doesn’t mind seeking a new club. Unfortunately for him, though, he broke his collarbone in training today after an awkward fall. That will cost him 6-8 weeks of lost time and will probably cost the club about €20,000 in his transfer value. Today’s training session didn’t seem to work out well for either the player or his club.

He is out of contract in the spring and is not a player I would tender anyway. Still, if another club offers money for a player it is obviously my preference to take it rather than lose him for nothing in the summer.

The board also put a smile on my face today, by authorizing one more transfer in the January window. However, the player we’re getting may not show up in the senior squad for a couple of years yet.

Robert Trznadel, a 17-year old attacking midfielder with bags of potential and huge amounts of pace, will join us in the spring. He will come to us from Gornik Zabrze for €5,000 and if he lives up to half his potential the fee will be a steal for us.

I saw video of him just before leaving for the States and read scout reports that absolutely raved about the young man. I like his first name, naturally, but more importantly I can’t wait to get him in our colors. It’s a signing of the type I have really wanted to see since I came here – it will do nothing but help us grow.

We’re also trying to see what we can do to get Muzzi back with us for next season. So far, his answer is still ‘no’.

# # #

Paolo Favaretto has had a poke at me in the media today as well. I suppose that is a good thing – in order for someone to play a mind game with you they first have to recognize that you exist. That’s a step in the right direction.

He told the papers in Venice that he knows his side has the quality to beat us and he doesn’t know how well we’ll be able to handle the pressure of a prolonged promotion challenge. He stopped just short of guaranteeing a result.

So, the newsies dutifully ran off to Euganeo to get the Yankee’s reaction to things. When I was told of Paolo’s comments I just smiled.

“Nice try,” I said with a laugh. “We’re ready to play on Monday and I’m surely not going to be drawn into a slagging match with Paolo Favaretto. The teams have met once before in the Cup, we took their measure on their pitch, and we think we know how to play them. Other than that, I’m not going to say anything.”

The profound looks of disappointment I received in reply told me my hunch was correct. I don’t need a war of words before this match – we’re coming back from a long layoff and our concentration needs to be fully on the match. That’s where mine will be and I’ll let our opponents do the big talking. I want to do my big talking on the pitch.

# # #

Saturday, January 5

The reaction to my non-reaction of yesterday was rather interesting.

Venice columnist Pasqualino Ruggiero called me everything but chicken for refusing to take Favaretto’s bait yesterday, but crossed over a line in doing so. He wrote:

“Padova manager Rob Ridgway did not respond to comments from Venezia manager Paolo Favaretto yesterday. It appears that in order for Ridgway to notice anything from our city, it must be female.”

That was a hit below the belt. I did a long, slow burn today at training and the thought of going back to that city after all I’ve been through appeals to me only in the sense that I’d love to get three points out of Pierluigi Penzo in 48 hours.

Any problems I might have had with focus are now completely gone. Patty is somewhere in the United States, Kate’s back in England and Venice now means a rival. And that’s all.

# # #

Sunday, January 6

The senior squad had today off to rest for tomorrow’s match and I did my pre-match work with television this afternoon since tomorrow’s clash is going nationwide.

As I did my interview, I kept one eye on the score from Salerno, where Sassuolo was playing Cavese. I was asked a wide range of questions and enjoyed the interview experience. It’s nice to have people ask you about what you know instead of why you don’t know something they think is important.

And while I worked with the broadcasters, Sassuolo went top of the table, ahead of Venezia, thanks to a goalless draw. The door is open for us – we trail Sassuolo by three points and Venezia by two. We have a chance to pass our rivals on their pitch – but if we lose, we’re down five points to them and would lose the all-important tiebreaker for the time being.

Our last match of the league schedule is at home to Venezia, so it is quite possible that the final round of the year may decide everything. The scene for that match will be set tomorrow.

# # #

[tenthreeleader]

Monday, January 7

Venezia 2-3 Padova

Sometimes I wonder if all the trouble I make for myself as a manager is really worth it. Then there are days like today, where I wonder even more.

We should have won at a canter today but we then got a taste of what we have been inflicting on the rest of Serie C1 late in today’s match at Pierluigi Penzo. The result was a five-goal thriller that didn’t need to be anywhere near as thrilling as it turned out to be.

The squad met at Euganeo at lunch for a final meeting and a team meal before we headed east late in the afternoon. Our mood was excellent and our focus was even better. Both the new players, Antonazzo and Caputo, were in the squad with Caputo in the starting XI. They were determined to see their Padova careers off to positive starts, but Antonazzo wasn’t completely match fit yet so I wanted to break him in a little more slowly.

We arrived at Pierluigi Penzo two hours before kickoff and had a little time to relax in the visitors’ changing room prior to warmups. I did nothing to change the focus of the group, which was quiet and confident. Finally, though, before the warmup began, I stepped to the front of the room and as one, the players looked to me for the team talk.

“Gentlemen, you have done brilliantly to make this match mean something tonight,” I began, and several of the players fluffed themselves up with the praise I offered. “Yet tonight is where it all starts. This is where you should want to be – playing for the top of the table in front of unfriendly fans. You’ve got a chance to go into this place and make a statement that you are here for the long haul. You’ve beaten this team already, on this very pitch – do it again and tell everyone you’re not to be trifled with.”

I saw looks of belief on their faces and I decided not to push too hard for fear of overheating the players.

“Watch for Marco Veronese, keep him under control and above all, don’t put yourself in exposed situations where their pace can exploit you,” I said. “As always, play hard for each other and help each other on the pitch. You can do it. Make it happen.”

Quietly, we then went out to do the business. Unfortunately, about 24,000 supporters came to the match dressed as green seats and benches, so the atmosphere in the stands wasn’t what I had hoped to see. There were just 3,618 in attendance tonight – which had to be hugely disappointing to the home club for a top of the table clash.

We started strongly but the match featured a fair amount of back-and-forth in the early going. Muzzi, who hasn’t been scoring goals of late, still found a way to contribute and that got us on the board twelve minutes into the match.

Orlandoni came forward to take a free kick about ten yards out of his box and put the ball right on Muzzi’s head forty yards downfield. Roberto brought the ball to ground with a wonderful first touch and found Gentile sneaking between the central defenders. He hit Andrea with a delightful touch pass and he was off to the races, beating Giuseppe Aprea to his left-hand post for his fifth goal of the league season.

That got us going, but we got two large, if unfortunate, breaks before halftime. They came in the form of two Venezia substitutions, with their Brazilian midfielder Mateos going off after injuring himself issuing a hard challenge on 37 minutes – and their strong center half Emanuele Pesoli limping off injured one minute before half.

That sixty-second stretch was vital to us, as it turned out. Pesoli was unfortunately injured while defending Baú’s entry ball to the box for Varricchio that he played out for a corner. To add insult to the literal injury, after he was helped off the pitch we proceeded to score our second goal from the ensuing set piece. This time it was Vasco Faísca who rose to head home from Gotti’s corner to score his first goal for the club.

I couldn’t have picked a better time for him to score it given the circumstances, and we headed to the changing room after dealing our opponents a serious blow.

I told the squad I was pleased with their effort but that they should not rest on what they had done. In the second half, it’s fair to say the referee took over the match.

The last time we saw Fabio Manera, he was sending off Crovari in our goalless draw at Cavese. I had no argument with him at that time, but I sure did by the time this match was over.

He gave 26 out of 41 fouls in the match to us, but despite it all we went three to the good on 74 minutes. We put together a first-class three-way passing play to set up the goal, and along the way I learned something about one of my new signings.

Baú, who didn’t start but was a 70th minute substitute for Gentile, started it by breaking free down the right touchline. He cut toward the middle to loft a wonderful forty-yard cross-field ball to Caputo, who took it in full flight. He looked up, saw Varricchio moving and cut sharply to his left to get the ball wide before zig-zagging past the defender and back to the middle. He was free and clear and then whipped an inch-perfect cross to the middle. Massimiliano made no mistake and we looked like we would turn the match into a rout.

However, we soon had issues. After Varricchio’s goal, we ran into real trouble. Four minutes after our third goal, Baú conceded a dodgy penalty when he was judged to have pushed Marco Veronese while the striker shot the ball into Orlandoni’s chest on 79 minutes. The home crowd reacted as you would expect they would, and Veronese wrongfooted Orlandoni to make it 3-1 with 11 minutes to play.

We’ve had an unusually high number of penalties awarded to us so far this season, but as the match wore on we learned how the rest of the league has lived. Varricchio then went into the book on 83 minutes. Crovari, who had come on as a substitute for Paz, then was carded three minutes later for a challenge on Alberto Rebecca. The captain fumed, but silently – having learned his lesson both with this official and with me.

I then learned something about my other new signing. Antonazzo, who was an 80th minute substitution for Gotti, was playing aggressive defense against Veronese on a frantic Venezia rush with two minutes left in normal time, and both players fell over in a tangle of arms and legs at the edge of our penalty area.

Manera rushed in and awarded a second penalty, and also showed Antonazzo a straight red for a professional foul.

Antonazzo reacted, but by the hardest he held his temper. Getting sent off on your debut is no way to make a good impression and he knew it. Gleefully, Veronese grabbed the ball out of Orlandoni’s hands to put it on the spot, which raised the ire of my goalkeeper. I headed to a sideline television monitor to view a replay and I wasn’t happy when I was done.

I was now on my way to the fourth official to remonstrate. “They were pushing each other,” I yelled. “But worse, my guy wasn’t the last man! How could he get sent off?”

The official, as he had to do, waved away my protests, telling me that only one of the players in the exchange had the ball in a position to score. By that time, Veronese had already blasted the second penalty home to make it 3-2 and create the kind of atmosphere I was wondering if we might see at the beginning of the match.

It looked like everything might unravel. Down to ten players and with Donadoni thankfully on as a late substitution after the first penalty, I pulled back to a 4-4-1 formation with Muzzi dropped back to midfield and Varricchio as the lone up-front man.

Then I looked at the fourth official again, as he held up the board showing an incredible five minutes of stoppage time added for injuries I hadn’t seen. However, I had made three substitutions that are supposed to account for thirty seconds apiece. Venezia, having made two of their alloted three moves in the first half due to injuries, only made one in the second half, so I was fuming over what I felt was too much time being added to the match.

They piled forward, and Veronese put a blazing shot off Orlandoni’s crossbar almost straight from the kickoff, which put my heart squarely in my throat. At last, Manera sounded the full time whistle and what was a rout with eleven minutes to play turned into a very close shave indeed.

I shook hands perfunctorily with Favaretto as our supporters sang loudly to celebrate a result on our rival’s turf. I left the pitch, the shouts of the Venezia supporters ringing in my ears, shaking my head.

We won, but at the end it sure didn’t feel like it.

# # #

[tenthreeleader]

“We’ll be appealing the red card,” I said brusquely at my post-match media gathering. “It was right there on television – he wasn’t the last man and I feel he was wrongly sent off. I’m glad we played such a great match for the first eighty minutes because we sure needed it at the end.”

“Are the penalties going to even themselves out?” I was asked.

“I don’t count the balance,” I said. “I know some people do but we just have to deal with it as we go.”

“Do you think referee Manera is out to get you?” That was the ever-helpful Emiliani.

“No,” I answered. “We haven’t had good luck with him, but I won’t say he has anything against us. I am more concerned with our disciplinary record. This is our fourth red card of the season and we’ve also lost several players due to red-card suspensions. I will wait for the FA’s decision on this appeal before I decide what to do, because I do think the player was wrongly punished.”

“Gentile reached his yellow cards limit tonight as well,” Emiliani told me, which had slipped my mind.

“Another suspension,” I said. “We’ve done reasonably well with injuries for most of the season but it’s the suspensions that are really hurting us. We’ve done some great things this season and our win tonight means we are joint top with Sassuolo, but every point is going to be precious in the second half of the season and we need our complete team to have the best chance of getting them.”

“The penalties had to be disappointing.”

“No doubt about that,” I said, choosing my words carefully to avoid reprimand. “I’m not happy with the last ten minutes for a variety of reasons, but until tonight no one in our league had scored more than one goal against us. Venezia did tonight and credit them for that, but the manner in which it happened doesn’t please me.”

I did have nice things to say about Caputo, who looked very good in his first match in the shirt and really showed great energy throughout the ninety minutes. “He is a good player, at least as good as we scouted and perhaps better once he fits into our system,” I said. “I am impressed with his work rate, his skill and above all his intensity. I have every reason to believe he will be a very good player for this club.”

With that, I dismissed the squad and prepared to go home. I turned out the light in the visiting manager’s office and prepared to leave.

I walked out the player’s tunnel and headed toward the coach, the last Padova representative to do so. I headed out the player’s gate toward the bus and heard a voice calling me.

“Rob, please wait.”

I turned, shocked, to find Patty standing along a far wall.

“Hi,” she said, tears streaming down her face. “Can we please talk?”

# # #

[tenthreeleader]

Tuesday, January 8

“In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol. It was the worst 20 minutes of my life.” – George Best

I didn’t sleep last night and deep down I didn’t like what I had to do.

I had a squad full of players who had to return home and I couldn’t hold them up. So I had to tell Patty I couldn’t talk with her at that moment.

“She won’t believe that,” I thought to myself as I boarded the coach. Right at that moment I wasn’t sure I really cared what she believed, so I turned my back to her as I got on the bus so she wouldn’t see that I was fighting back tears too. I then stayed up most of the night.

No matter what I do, I can’t seem to catch a break. I fall in love with Kate, I lose her, I forget about her, she comes back. She comes back just in time to help wreck my relationship with the woman I fell in love with and then had to forget, until she comes back out of the blue last night.

It amazes me how this seems to keep happening. It was a long and surprisingly lonely ride back to Padua last night but this morning, as I prepared to head to the ground, I did my very best to put it all out of my mind.

The first thing I did when I got to the office this morning was to tell Christina I wanted the paperwork to appeal Antonuzzo’s red card on my desk for signature by the end of the morning session. The more I thought about his sending off the angrier I became.

Christina, sensing my mood, was good about her reply. “Of course, Rob,” she smiled. “I’ll have it for you by the break, if you like.”

I softened. “I’m sorry, Christina,” I said. “I’ve been out of sorts.”

“I should understand why,” she answered. “Signorina Myers has already called twice for you this morning.”

I raised my eyebrows. “She didn’t waste any time,” I thought.

“What did you tell her?”

“The first time, I told her that you were preparing for training and couldn’t be disturbed,” she said. “The second time, I told her I would let you know she had called and that you would prefer not to be disturbed at the office.”

I smiled bitterly. “Well done,” I answered. I noted to myself that Patty had already gotten farther trying to contact me than I had when I called her office last month.

Christina had restored a measure of control to the situation for me. With the pressure facing me, I need all the control I can get.

# # #

Sunday’s match this week should fill us with a measure of confidence, especially after scoring three goals away to our table-topping rivals.

This week we have the return matchup at Manfredonia, the club we hammered 5-0 at Euganeo back in September. We won’t face the same side we played earlier, though. They are much improved and we’ll have to get our heads down to get the result. The table pretty well says it all – we’re in a dogfight and we can’t afford slips.

We’ll have to go there without the injured Rabito and the suspended Gentile, so our top two central midfielders will be watching the action. I may well give Baú the start in the center of midfield, which would mean a return to the first team for Music. Caputo really impressed me in his debut and he told media this morning that he was very pleased to have received the manager’s praise. He’s a good player and I would like to keep him fired up for as long as possible.

He also looked very good in training today, bouncing back quite well from playing the full ninety minutes yesterday. He appears to be a player who thrives on praise – unlike Sacchetti at the beginning of my tenure, who found it placed pressure on him.

I approached Caputo as a drill came to an end.

“Well done yesterday,” I offered, and he grinned.

“Thanks, boss,” he replied. “I’m glad to be here.”

“I can see that,” I smiled. “And it showed. Be ready for Sunday.”

With that, the conversation was over. He knew his role, I had communicated it to him in a fashion he liked, and player and manager understand each other. I think that is how it is supposed to work, right?

# # #

Christina was true to her word, and had the forms ready for signature at 10:30 when the players took a break. I signed them, she faxed them off, and I will now wait for the FA to reject my appeal.

I harbor no illusions. I expect to be shot down but since Antonazzo’s sending off was not for violent conduct I can reasonably expect that his ban will not be extended.

By appealing, I am sending a message to my new player that I’m backing him. I also took him aside after the morning session and explained to him that though I wasn’t pleased he was sent off I didn’t consider it to be entirely his fault.

“I don’t want you in the position where you need to foul from behind,” I said. “You were both tangled up, I understand that, but you do need to be mindful of your opponent. Still, your sending off wasn’t necessary in my view.”

He was grateful to hear it, and promised to re-apply himself in training. He’s a player I need, and I think he’s a part of our future. So as he returned to training, he had been reassured and that did wonders for the rest of his day.

Now if only something would happen to do wonders for the rest of mine.

# # #

[tenthreeleader]

Wednesday, January 9

As expected, the FA has denied my appeal of Antonuzzo’s ban. The response I received said I did not have sufficient grounds to appeal.

Today at the daily press gaggle I disagreed, though gently. “I had a television replay that was as plain as the nose on my face,” I said. “Those are my grounds for appeal. They are protecting their official and I understand that. My only concern is that clear and convincing video evidence evidently did not play a major factor in the decision. So we’ll have to get on with it.”

I suppose, considering the ease with which we handled Manfredonia in September, that if I had to pick a match to be without two key players this might be the one. Yet if I allow myself to think in such a manner for too long, something bad will happen along the Adriatic coast and we’ll have to gain ground all over again.

Today’s gathering also focused on our January 20 match which will have much more importance: the rematch against Sassuolo at Euganeo. We’re now level with them on points, with identical records of ten wins, six draws and one loss. Of course, their win over us means we are second in the table on the tie-break and in a league where only the champion earns automatic promotion, the loss really sticks in our craws.

Still, I did my best to deflect talk away from Sassuolo and back onto Manfredonia where it belongs. “We won’t be looking ahead,” I said. “It’s my job to keep us focused and the players’ responsibility to keep their heads on straight. We can’t look past this coming match and if we do we’ll have trouble.”

# # #

Caputo and Antonazzo both trained well today, so my man-management skills appear to be in mid-season form. I just wish I had the same skill off the pitch.

Finally, today, I talked with Patty. She called again this morning, but this time she remembered when to call. She rang me during the lunch break, when she knows I am in my office.

Christina buzzed me on the intercom as I ate my lunch and asked: “Do you want to talk with Signorina Myers?”

There was really nothing else for it. If I didn’t, she’d keep trying and I thought I might finally be ready to face her. With self-confidence rare for matters off the field of play, I told Christina to transfer the call in.

“Rob?” Her voice quavered.

“Patty, hello,” I said. “I’m sorry it’s taken this long.” Or was I?

“Thank you for talking with me at all,” she said. “I just had to know if you would still speak to me.”

I would speak with her, but on my terms. My frustration immediately boiled to the top and I was surprised at the anger I suddenly felt. “Yes, but what on earth happened?” I asked. “I was telling Kate I couldn’t be with her and you just walked out on me!”

“I didn’t like seeing her in your arms, and I think you can understand that,” she said. “We went almost three weeks after Rome without seeing each other, and after all that I went through with Peter, I just snapped when I saw you holding her. I thought you didn’t want me any more. I thought you were avoiding me…”

“Could we not have talked about it?” I asked. “I wasn’t avoiding you – you were the one who left the room, to go back to your office! I was telling her I couldn’t take her back, Patty! I was trying to do the right thing, and I lost you!”

Now she began to cry. “Rob, I know,” she sobbed. “Kate wrote me a letter and explained everything.”

“She what?”

“She wrote me a letter,” Patty explained. “She also wrote that you told her not to. Why would you do that?”

“How did she reach you?” I asked. “You never told me where you went – how did she find out?”

“Rob, think it through,” she said, with some irritation. “Remember, I had a relationship with Kate’s husband. He knew how to reach my family and Kate must have got it from him. After what he did to Kate, I’m sure the information wasn’t hard for her to get. Now how about answering my question? Why would you tell her not to write?”

“Because you made it pretty clear from your words that you didn’t want me any more,” I said. “I called the day after all this happened, too, and you wouldn’t talk to me. Words mean things, and so does silence. I can take a hint.”

“I was upset, and I hope you can understand that,” she said. “But Kate’s letter explained what she was doing.”

“All well and good, but here’s what I want to know, Patty. Why would you believe it from her, but not from me?”

# # #

Thursday, January 10

“A man can be happy with any woman as long as he does not love her.” – Oscar Wilde

We will travel down the east coast of Italy tomorrow, and spend Saturday away from home before Sunday’s match.

I want to avoid distractions, I need to avoid distractions, and while doing that, I also wouldn’t mind the chance to have a brief training session on the road on Saturday morning. It’s time to get serious and with us finally not playing a match in midweek, thankfully our schedule allows us to get out of town early.

Frankly, that distraction includes Patty. We had a frank exchange of views yesterday and another one today – not angry this time, but with-the-bark-off honest that helped me understand her mindset, if not her reasoning, for leaving.

I also had a hard time figuring out why she came back. “I had some follow-up work to do in the office and they’re putting me up in Venice until it’s done,” she said. “I’m here until the end of the month.”

“And then what?” I asked. “Going back home?”

“I don’t know what I’m going to do,” she said. “Paul wants to take me out. I haven’t seen him since we broke up.”

I said nothing in reply. To have spent all this time building a relationship, living and dying with it, and then to have her come full circle with somebody else was the ultimate insult.

# # #

So I didn’t mind getting out on the training ground today, where I once again took a regular rotation with my central defenders on a few drills.

“Are you going to register yourself for next season?” Sacchetti teased.

“Not unless your play makes it necessary,” I shot back. We’re still a loose group despite the pressure of the promotion race now starting to loom large.

I was very pleased with the work we did today and above all I am pleased with their focus. I told them so as we prepared to dismiss for the day.

“You’ve listened to what I told you, you’ve prepared well and now you need to maintain that focus right through to the kickoff on Sunday,” I said. “You are putting yourselves in great position to do something special and with this kind of application I believe you will succeed. Get a good night’s rest. The coach leaves at 10:00 tomorrow morning.”

# # #

[tenthreeleader]

Friday, January 11

Today’s trip down the Adriatic coast was great for the players but it meant I had five hours to sit by myself and think.

I can’t say I cared for that much, as long as I wasn’t thinking about the right things. Patty and I are speaking again, which is okay I suppose, but we’re dancing around each other like we did at the start of our relationship and I hate that.

Today I thought about whether I’m really interested in continuing to talk with her. It sounds like she is trying to make amends but really, I think she’s choosing a strange way to do it. In any event, it could really all be over in three weeks and if it is over, I’m sure it’s for good.

I’d just like to feel better about talking with her. I‘ve tried to encourage forthright conversation but if I’m going to talk with her and stay sane in the process I need to demand it. I presume she needs to heal, I know I need to heal, and the only way either of us can heal is if we get it out in the open.

So I e-mailed her.

Patty:

Let’s stop the nonsense. If you’re going to date Paul, great. Just leave me out of it, because I won’t be part of that conversation. If you want to talk to me, let’s really talk this out and get things in the open. I can’t go on like this.

Rob

We rolled southward and I enjoyed the drive. At last, my BlackBerry buzzed and I saw she had written me back. I took a deep breath and opened her message.

Rob:

That works for me. How about this coming week, in Padua?

Patty

I took a deep breath. In one of those cruel twists of irony, next week is the return Sassuolo match. There are those in town who questioned my commitment to club when the stories hit media after the last match we played. Another loss to them would be a serious blow and the last thing I need is additional scrutiny either for me or for my players.

I thought long and hard before I answered the e-mail. I let a few miles pass under the wheels before I answered.

Patty:

Monday evening, 7:00, “Q” restaurant in Padua. Bring your appetite and your honest feelings. I’ll bring the checkbook and mine.

Rob

# # #

Saturday, January 12

I am wondering whether my decision to see Patty again was a good idea.

I thought about it on the bus trip, dreamed about it last night and obsessed about it today after our quick training session at Miramare. I just know that I have to put it all out of my mind tomorrow, as my top order of business.

Miramare itself is interesting – it only holds 4,000, with 3,000 seats, so even a modest typical Serie C1 crowd will nearly fill the stands. I was quite glad to arrive – when we got here I could concentrate on my job again and the change of pace was welcome.

There’s also this to consider about Miramare: the pitch is very small. It’s just 100 x 60 meters, compared to our 105 x 67 and the FIFA minimum standard of 90 x 45. Our wide play will be seriously compromised if we don’t move the ball quickly and accurately, as the Manfredonia defenders will find us easier to mark on the smaller pitch.

It also gives me serious misgivings about Crovari’s role in this match. With Antonazzo out through suspension the only way I can remove Crovari from the XI is to have Cotroneo play in place of Pablo Paz at right back while Paz moves to the holding role as I have increasingly preferred of late. Especially for tomorrow, I’m seriously considering this. With so much importance in this match on moving the ball quickly, I can’t afford to have Federico dawdle on the ball when he gets it.

All the players I mentioned are in the traveling squad, so I have some decisions to make before finally deciding on the group that will start tomorrow’s match. I thought about it for a good part of the afternoon while watching other games on television. It’s a difficult decision and it’s one I need to get right. The rest of the league won’t wait.

# # #

[tenthreeleader]

Sunday, January 13

Manfredonia 0-0 Padova

“You can’t do better than go away from home and get a draw.” – Ron Atkinson

We played a very disappointing road draw against the 15th place side in the league, but despite all that, my glass is half-full instead of half-empty.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m very unhappy that we didn’t win. Manfredonia, though much improved from the last time we saw them, is still in the playdown places and we should have been better. I also went with my heart instead of my head and got the holding midfielder selection wrong. I could kick myself for that.

However, I do think we should have won the game if for no other reason than we put the ball in the net and didn’t get credit for it. As I expected, Manfredonia packed men behind the ball in the early going and dared us to break through, and when we didn’t, they came out of their shell and showed us a vastly improved version of offensive football.

There’s no other way to say it – they were certainly our equals in the first half and right up until first half injury time we didn’t impose ourselves on the match in the slightest.

Until we got a late corner, that is. Gotti’s effort swung beautifully into the six-yard box where Faísca rose directly behind Varricchio and headed past Manolo Leacche to put us ahead on what was probably going to be the last action of the first half.

Only it didn’t count. Referee Luca Foti had his arm up to signal a foul on Faísca. The only problem was that he had “fouled” his teammate instead of a Manfredonia player and I just about freaked out.

“Are you serious?” I yelled, managing to make myself heard over the 1,716 supporters present for the match. That was no mean feat. “It was his own player!”

My vociferous protests drew loud whistles from the home supporters and Foti blew for halftime. Immediately, I saw Crovari go to him and engage the referee in conversation. He was tactful about it, and I gave a strident opinion to the fourth official as we left the pitch.

“That was a ridiculous call,” I snapped, and the official didn’t say much in reply. He knew it too – Foti had got it wrong.

My teamtalk centered on playing angry. The players weren’t happy they had lost a goal to a bad call, and we headed out for the second half fully energized.

However, we ran into a home team filled with confidence, and buoyed by having a perfectly good goal taken off the board for us. They ran, they passed well, they played extremely hard, and they created chances with nearly embarrassing ease at times.

Fortunately for us, they were also extremely wasteful. Only three of their seventeen attempts for the match were on target but their industry kept the ball away from us for crucial stretches of the second half. I did wish Gentile and his more cultured finishing skills could have been out there as well, as we ourselves pumped shot after shot wide of the target. We saw just four of our fourteen attempts at goal reach Leacche, which didn’t help my mood.

The second half, as frantic as it was, accomplished little except to formalize the split in the points. Foti blew the whistle for full time and I tried to figure out what I was going to say to the team.

As the squad sat after the match, I retreated into the small visiting manager’s office at Miramare, checking scores. What I saw stunned me:

Sassuolo 0-1 Lecco

Venezia 0-0 Legnano

“That can’t be right,” I said. “Bottom beats top away from home?” I made a quick phone call to the offices and heard that yes, it was true, tail-end Lecco had shocked the top club in the league at the same place they had dismantled my club. Too, Venezia had contrived a way to not score at home against mid-table Legnano, meaning they didn’t gain any ground on us.

I walked into the changing room where the players expected a roasting. They didn’t get it. “I’m not happy with how we played today, but you’re top of the league,” I said. “Sassuolo lost at home to Lecco.”

The players reacted with satisfaction and I then got them quieted down. “That doesn’t mean I’m happy with what we did here today, gentlemen,” I said. “You got a point and that’s great but we need to be better next weekend. Sassuolo will come ready to play you and ready to try to take your spot in the table. Be ready.”

# # #

“It appears we were the least bad of the top three today and that’s why we’re top,” I said to media, with a slightly impish expression on my face.

“What about the disallowed goal?”

I took a deep breath and knew I risked quite a bit by speaking my mind. “Brutal,” I finally said. “Luca Foti is a good official but that call was just wrong. Faísca scored a good goal and we didn’t get credit for it.”

“Everyone struggled in the top three today,” Emiliani said. “Do you feel lucky to be on top of the table?”

“On a season-long basis, no, but on the basis of today, I think so,” I said. “Manfredonia was a vastly improved team from the last time we saw them. They were better, sometimes they were better than we were, and I won’t say we deserved all three points today. I wish we could have matched them, especially off the ball, but again, the others stumbled today too. It’s still anyone’s race.”

“Caputo had another strong match today.”

“He was excellent,” I said with a smile. “He was man of the match and showed why. He has come out with great energy, and has given us a real spark from the left side. I think we were missing an element to our game with Gentile out of the squad and I am looking forward to seeing Gentile, Baú and Caputo in the same lineup again.”

# # #

[tenthreeleader]

Monday, January 14

Today was a day off for the senior squad but not for the manager. I spent the whole day viewing Sassuolo video to prepare for Sunday’s showdown at Euganeo.

The big news of the day was that I received no sanction for my published comments from yesterday’s match. The afternoon editions read that the football authorities “have had no comment”.

That’s a moral victory for me, but unfortunately it won’t lead to an actual victory for my squad. I can’t cash it in at the points bank.

The headline of Emiliani’s opinion piece today was one I should have expected: “Ridgway: We’re lucky to be top”. Next time I’ll know better.

The rest of his piece, though, focused on how the officials are “turning against” Padova after the penalty decisions at Venezia, Antonazzo’s red card and the disallowed goal at Manfredonia.

That’s part of the ethos for some people, and I really had nothing to say about it when I received calls from other media this morning. I’ve had a minor victory with the FA today. I’m not going to flush it away by complaining about referee bias.

On the whole, the officials have been quite good to us. The number of penalties we’ve been given still leads the league and since so much of our offense of late has come from set pieces, especially corners, we have to use muscle to get players into position to score. Usually, if a player has control of his body, we’re fine. But at other times, like yesterday, we get whistled. Rightly or wrongly, that’s football and I have to deal with it. I’ll have no further comment on the officiating because, at least for today, I can quit while I’m ahead.

# # #

Tonight I met Patty for dinner at the “Q”. I thought about that all day today as well, and finally decided that a head-on confrontation might not be pleasant but if I’m to move on, it was necessary. In other words, I stuck to my guns.

I was as nervous as the first time I met her there, and ironically enough it was for the same reason – the thought of her with Paul, who I have never met.

I arrived first and was shown to a table out of view of the patrons per my advance request. I sat, looked at a wine list and waited for her to arrive.

7:00 arrived and passed. So did 7:05, and then 7:10. I checked to see if I had e-mail from her, and finally my mobile phone buzzed.

“Rob, it’s me,” she said, seemingly out of breath. “I’m near the car park and I’ll be in soon. I’ve been on the phone with Paul on the way from Venice.”

“Don’t let me keep you,” I said, but she cut me off.

“I was telling him I’m not ready to date him yet,” she said. “Is that okay?”

“That’s your business,” I said. “What we need to say is to each other.”

“I couldn’t agree more. I thought I’d let you know why I was late.”

Moments later, there she was – and she made me do a double-take. To say she looked different from the last time I saw her would be an understatement. That night, she was in tears in the car park at the Pierluigi Penzo. Tonight, she was just a vision.

She wore a purple dress that flattered her red hair beautifully, sheer hose and pumps. She gave me a genuine smile when she saw my reaction.

“At least you don’t completely detest me,” she said, approaching the table. I rose to greet her and extended my hands in greeting.

Happily for me, she took them briefly and we sat down. The waiter appeared to start our evening and we settled down to talk things through.

# # #

“That night, I hated you.”

That was a shock to hear. “That was a pretty sharp turn,” I said. “The night before you told me how much you appreciated my love for you.”

“I did, which is why it hurt so much to see you holding Kate,” she said. “You had to see the look in her eyes, Rob. She genuinely loves you and it really showed. I just felt like I couldn’t be what I wanted to be to you and what you obviously want. She could.”

“What made me so upset was you not understanding what I was doing,” I said. “I was turning her down so I could be with you. And then you got up and walked out. I couldn’t believe what I saw – but I never hated you. That’s a strong word.”

“It is, but it was what I felt,” she said. “It’s why I didn’t answer the phone when you called the next day. I just couldn’t. I was seeing red just thinking about you.”

The waiter then brought our dinner and we stopped our conversation for a few moments. Finally, I spoke.

“Patty, that just wasn’t fair.”

Her eyes misted. “I know it wasn’t, and I’m sorry,” she said. “I actually went back to the States over Christmas until I got called back for January. When I got back, I found this on my desk.”

She reached into her purse and pulled out Kate’s letter, handing it to me. She managed a smile. “We even come full circle with letters,” she said. “We both got one from your ex.”

Dear Patty:

I just wanted to make one attempt to contact you after we met in Venice. I hope you don’t mind.

You should know Rob has nothing to do with this contact. In fact, he asked me not to attempt to write what you are now reading. Yet, I have to say what I have to say.

What I did that night wasn’t fair to anyone, including and especially myself. However, you need to know he is blameless. He was turning me down when you walked into the room.

Lately I’ve gone through quite a bit of personal hardship. You know that as well as anyone having gone through similar feelings yourself with Peter. I don’t want you to have to go through it again with Rob.

I love Rob dearly and always will. That said, even though I’m not very happy at the moment I also realize I have to do the right thing.

Rob loves you. What I had with him is in the past. I don’t know if you can save your relationship but please know I deeply regret what happened and I wish you nothing but the best.

Kind regards,

Kate Southerland McGuire

I folded the letter and handed it back to Patty, who looked back at me sadly. A single tear raced down her right cheek.

“Rob, I’m so sorry,” she said. “I don’t know if you can forgive me but I just wanted you to know.”

I honestly didn’t know what to think. She wasn’t asking me to take her back, but instead was asking for simple forgiveness. Yet even though she wanted forgiveness, I noted that Kate hadn’t asked for any in her note – and neither had she apologized for her role in what had happened.

Our eyes met and I took a sip of my wine. “You don’t still hate me, do you?” I asked.

“I wouldn’t be here if I did,” she said.

I raised my glass to her, made up my mind and nodded my head. “Then here’s to forgiveness.”

# # #

[tenthreeleader]

Tuesday, January 15

Our parting this time was much more amicable than our last.

Regardless of whether we’re dating or not, I do like not leaving Patty in tears, and I prefer not to be upset myself. So today’s sunrise was a little easier to take. That’s a good thing, because I have serious work to do.

The senior squad reported today ready to work but a bit somber. Sunday’s match at Manfredonia did put us top of the league, but Emiliani’s column this morning has put pressure on one of my key players.

Muzzi is in a huge dry spell and that has caught the attention of our pre-eminent football writer. He’s now gone nearly nine hours without a goal. Muzzi, that is, not Emiliani. I don’t think Stefano has scored since his senior prom.

Truth be told, Muzzi’s last goal came when I had a girlfriend, so that tells you it was a long time ago.

His last successful strike came against Ternana – on October 21. He’s starting to take some heat for that, and some of that criticism is understandable since he’s our highest wage earner.

However, he has also played a wonderful role for us in other ways. He is a pacy player despite his age, and that means defenses have to account for him. Slower teams have to give him space with a deep defensive line, which opens up room for players like Baú and Varricchio. The fact that he isn’t scoring is annoying to me from the point of view of our goal difference, but enough of his teammates have picked up the slack to still make him an automatic selection for me.

The best part of it is that Roberto believes in himself. I do need him to score, though, and told him today at training that I’d even put him on the penalty spot if it meant a goal that would get him going again.

He appreciated that. I try never to put an individual need ahead of the team, but a confident Roberto Muzzi could make all the difference in our play-in to the end of the season. I have to have him happy, if not scoring goals, and I’m ready to help him.

Today, though, I had to reply to media and specifically to Emiliani. “He hasn’t scored much, that is true, but as you know there are ways players can help the club that don’t involve putting the ball in the net.”

“You’ll need to spin that better,” Emiliani informed me, using the American euphemism.

“I don’t think I do,” I said simply. “You need to take an objective look at his play.”

“You’ve got Paponi rotting on your bench,” he informed me. “A superior player.”

“In certain circumstances,” I corrected. “The team selection is mine and we’re top of the table. How about you ease up on these players a little bit? Do you want to be the one accused of unsettling them?”

“It wouldn’t be me, it would be their play,” he insisted.

“Convenient,” I said. “You unsettle them and then blame poor play for unsettling the players. It doesn’t work that way and you know it.”

# # #

Wednesday, January 16

Our matchup on Sunday is drawing media attention from outside the region since it’s a top-of-the-table clash.

This means unfamiliar faces in my media conversations and my running love-hate relationship with Emiliani took a rather interesting twist today.

It seems he’s the only writer allowed to criticize our play, which would have made him a great Brooklyn Dodgers fan back in the States. He could call us “Bums” like their loyal fans called the old ballclub, but by golly nobody else better or there’s be a fight.

Today’s piece on us had to do with criticism from outside sources and he, in essence, told doubters to get lost. He wrote:

"People who do not understand the club and its traditions are telling us the job cannot be done. It can be done, but the proper applications must be made of players and talents. Manager Ridgway has shown himself to be reasonably adept in his tactics and occasionally willing to listen to more learned opinion. This opinion comes from those who have experience in this club and know how it should be run. In partnership, we can achieve success."

I laughed as I read the piece in my office this morning. “More learned opinion,” I smiled. “In other words, his.”

I also had a talk with Muzzi to see how he’s handling the criticism over his recent scoring slump. “I’m doing fine and I’m going to be fine,” he said. “They don’t bother me as long as I have your confidence.”

“You do,” I said. “We need you out there on Sunday and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”

With that he ran off to training and worked hard. I expect criticism will come if he doesn’t start scoring soon, but the team comes first, and Roberto helps us win. I maintain that, I will continue to maintain that, and I don’t care who criticizes me for it.

# # #

[tenthreeleader]

Thursday, January 17

I saw Patty again this evening and it was a little more positive.

Again, she came to see me and we were both glad the air was cleared the other night. After training I retreated to my apartment and actually made dinner (I’m not that bad at it, to the surprise of some people).

As I waited for her to arrive, I noticed I was as nervous tonight as I was on our first dinner date in Venice months ago. I felt like I was starting over, in a sense, and I had to remind myself quite forcefully that we’ve come to no decisions on any future we may have.

That is down to a number of reasons, most notably that I’m not sure she wants one. My reaction tonight told me what I needed most to know – that my feelings for her are still active. I knew I needed to watch myself carefully.

Finally, I started to feel the strain a bit and sat down in my easy chair to watch anything on television that wasn’t football until she arrived. I flicked on the power and realized that my DVD of Casablanca was still in the machine. It was on the famous final scene, where Rick Blaine puts Victor Laszlo and Ilsa on the plane out of Casablanca. Renault and Blaine are watching the plane taxi to the runway:

RENAULT

Well, Rick, I was right. You are a sentimentalist.

RICK

Stay where you are. I don’t know what you’re talking about.

RENAULT

What you just did for Laszlo, and that fairy tale that you invented to send Ilsa away with him. I know a little about women, my friend. She went, but she knew you were lying.

RICK

Anyway, thanks for helping me out.

RENAULT

I suppose you know this isn’t going to be pleasant for either of us, especially for you. I’ll have to arrest you, of course.

RICK

As soon as the plane goes, Louis.

I thought that watching Rick say goodbye to the love of his life was not a good omen for my evening. Just then the doorbell rang and I ran out of thinking time. I got up, and opened the door to find Patty on the other side.

“Hi,” I smiled, standing aside to allow her to enter.

“Casablanca,” she smiled, as she walked past me, placing her purse on the couch. “I didn’t know you liked that movie.”

“It’s the story of my life,” I smiled, and she turned to me.

“Really,” she said. “I can’t imagine why that would be.”

# # #

[tenthreeleader]

Friday, January 18

I’ve rarely been as angry – and I mean in my entire life – as I am this evening. I’m mad enough to type with my fists, or better yet, use them.

I took an extraordinary step after reading the local paper. I took Masolini aside after training today and gave him a stern charge.

“I want you with me through Sunday’s match whenever I am around the media – especially Emiliani,” I told him. “Today’s article was absolutely infuriating and I will need your help to keep from punching him.”

The subject of my rage was the first part of his Sunday match preview piece, which was, unfortunately for him, headlined “Sfortuna Patricia”.

Loosely translated, the headline means “Bad Luck Patricia”, and was a story on how we had been seen together at the Q restaurant. He was unsparing in his comments and I plan to be equally unsparing in my reply.

Sfortuna Patricia

I have found Padova manager Rob Ridgway to be a reasonable man but serious questions must be raised about his priorities in light of the story appearing elsewhere in today’s edition.

Patricia Myers, the adorable American who so thoroughly distracted the man in charge of Biancoscudati’s fortunes before the match at Sassuolo, is back – just before the rematch between the clubs. Sunday’s match is important. It will decide the ascendant club in the current Serie C1A season.

One must therefore wonder why there does not appear to be total concentration on the part of the manager, who has been guilty of poor application of his resources and puzzling decisions at times this season even as Padova has succeeded in the table. It is also fair to ask chairman Marcello Sestaro whether this concerns him.

These unfortunate facts are why the return of Padova’s “bad-luck woman” is so puzzling. Sources indicated the two, who had spent considerable time together – in Venezia, no less – earlier this season, were seen together at a Padua restaurant earlier this week. They have been virtually inseparable ever since.

Ridgway’s well-publicized flameouts with both Englishwoman Kate McGuire and in November with the American Myers have served to distract him from his task. This latest news, which has not been confirmed by anyone associated with the club but is common knowledge around the city, should be a cause for significant concern among loyal supporters.

There is much work to do before any thought of promotion to Serie B can be entertained. I suggest the manager get to it.

I’m mad for a few reasons. First, I was upset when the papers first reported on Patty. Second, it is none of anyone’s business how I spend my free time if it doesn’t break the law. Period.

Last time, Patty wasn’t terribly upset about what the media did to her. This time, she was plenty upset and I couldn’t blame her. I called her when the article broke this morning and told her she should expect to get questions.

“I’m absolutely furious,” I spat. “There was no call for that. I don’t go around digging into their personal lives – why should they with ours?”

“I don’t want to distract you,” she said. “If we are thinking of trying to rebuild our relationship I don’t want to have to live for other people. It drives me crazy!”

“Just understand that no matter what happens, I’ll support you,” I promised. “This was so unfair, to you, to me, to my players, you name it!”

For one horrific moment I realized I had just promised to support her if she went back to Paul, but I had said what I had said. I couldn’t pressure her, and I knew I needed some time to think things through myself.

“Look at it this way, Rob,” she said. “It’s not like I have a whole lot to go back to anyway. That means good and bad get taken together. We may as well try.”

“I want you to think about what’s best for you and what’s best for us, and I don’t want it to come from you saying ‘we may as well’,” I said. “Look, Patty, we both went through a lot of hurt recently and if we’re going to be a couple again we have to make the right decisions. One of them is not rushing someplace we aren’t ready for because of something another person writes in the paper. It hurt too much to lose you the first time to risk that happening again.”

There was a brief silence, and then she gave me an unguarded observation. “Then I will have to adjust,” she said. “I am through making bad decisions, Rob. It’s time to get it right and if you’ll let me I want to take the time to make a good decision about you. I wish we could talk about this in person but it seems our hand is being forced at the moment.”

“Please come to the match on Sunday,” I said. “I’d like to stop the talking and after we get a result will be the best time I can think of to do it.”

“I don’t like being accused,” she said. “I’ll be there and if you win, I’ll be happy to help you stop the garbage in the press.”

# # #

Saturday, January 19

It’s funny – there’s another sporting figure with a much higher profile who has had similar problems to mine, and just within the last week.

NFL quarterback Tony Romo of the Dallas Cowboys is getting flak from bloggers and angry fans for his highly publicized relationship with the fetchingly beautiful Jessica Simpson. The Cowboys lost in the NFL playoffs to the lightly regarded New York Giants last weekend and Romo’s relationship with his girlfriend is now under scrutiny from some people who have a hard time dealing with the loss.

It seems he’s spent some high-profile time around her, and she’s been in attendance on certain other days where the Cowboys haven’t played well. So he is open to criticism I’m sure he doesn’t like.

I’ve never been a Cowboys fan, so I can’t say I minded seeing them lose. But I can certainly say I would mind being treated like he has been. People in sport do get to have personal lives and as long as you aren’t being a complete clot about it, you should certainly have the right to live that life the way you choose.

In this regard, I envy someone like Paul Scholes, the quiet man of Manchester United. Not only is he a complete professional and a hell of a fine footballer, he’s also almost completely out of the public eye. I don’t know how he does it, but when he doesn’t want to be seen, he simply isn’t seen. I admire that.

Meanwhile, here I am, managing a much, much smaller club and I can’t keep my name and girlfriend’s picture out of the papers. Sometimes life isn’t fair.

# # #

Despite all the garbage, I do think we’re ready for the match. Muzzi will keep his place and even though I didn’t speak with media today by design, I’ll have no problem telling them why after the match tomorrow.

We’re a better club than we were in September. We’ve got a couple of new players who we think will make us better in March than we are now. It’s time to make our move. We intend to do so.

# # #

[tenthreeleader]

Sunday, January 20

Padova 1-0 Sassuolo

We did what we came to do. Our unbeaten string continues and we are one point clear in Serie C1A.

We achieved a measure of revenge today by keeping a clean sheet while taking advantage of a nice break to score the only goal of a tight, tense match. Venezia’s victory this afternoon meant they kept pace with us one point behind, and today’s victory means that after Sassuolo went most of the first half of the season without losing, they’ve now captured only three of the last twelve points on offer.

It was a very good day. And for once we performed before a decent-sized crowd, as 4,742 came to Euganeo this afternoon to see the rematch.

They should have learned all they needed to know regarding our focus from an interview I gave for radio prior to the match.

“We want the points. We’re driven to take the points. We have a point to prove and the loss to them in our first match has asked some questions we believe we are ready to answer. We are a much different side than the one that capitulated in September and we intend to prove it.”

I couldn’t be much more direct short of guaranteeing a victory, something I never do in any event. We had a goal from the moment we arrived at our stadium and as we prepared for the match I watched my players closely to make sure emotions didn’t pull us away from the concentration I knew we needed.

I saw a very nice blend of intensity mixed with common sense and I chose to let it go. I listed the XI on a wipeboard at the front of our changing room that contained few surprises. Players went through their paces and pre-match routines and soon there was nothing else to do but start the match.

In the beginning we huffed and puffed mightily but didn’t accomplish much. Geoffrey Barretara in the Sassuolo goal made one ‘poster save’ on the unfortunate Muzzi, who broke clean through on eleven minutes only to see the keeper save his low drive in spectacular fashion, reaching behind the line of his body to palm the ball around his lefthand post.

I watched my striker closely to see his reaction. Frustration would surely start to tell here, if it was going to tell at all. Instead, Muzzi slapped his hands against his forehead in frustration and simply got on with his job. He heard a few whistles from the crowd, due I’m sure in no small measure to Emiliani’s piece earlier in the week, but he kept a level head.

Baú and Caputo worked well again together, and for the third straight match the new arrival from Juve Stabia was the best player in a white shirt. I noticed quickly that he and Baú have quickly come to an understanding that ordinarily takes time – and one I did nothing to discourage for the short term, even though it was a significant change to my tactic.

The two would switch sides of the pitch on occasion. Both players are capable of playing either side of midfield, with Baú still on the right and Caputo on the left in today’s starting eleven.

But when they would flip, they would create both space for themselves and confusion among the Sassuolo defenders assigned to man-mark them. I did wish they had asked me first, but since it was working I chose not to make it a big issue for the time being.

I resolved to say something about it on 23 minutes, though, when it led to our goal. Caputo and Baú worked a criss-cross right outside the top of the Sassuolo penalty area, with Caputo drawing a foul when the visitors’ back line couldn’t mark both players at the same time.

Baú took the ball and put it right at the top of the arc while Barretara set up his defensive wall. Eder measured the free kick and released a bender that struck defender Pierluigi Borgetti, the right-most player in the wall as the shooter looked at it.

The ball changed direction and wrongfooted the helpless Barretara, finding the mesh to put us a goal to the good. Baú still isn’t as happy as I’d like to see him, but damned if he isn’t producing and that’s what matters the most.

The crowd rose as one, the bench erupted in celebration and I accepted a bear hug from Masolini, now into the match in a way I haven’t seen him yet this season. Baú accepted my handshake at the touchline as he headed back up the pitch and we prepared to accept Sassuolo’s return blast as the first half wore on.

Only it never came. Defensively we were absolutely immaculate in the first 45 minutes, holding them to one shot on target and no good chances. It was a solid performance, but we had played reasonably well in the first half on their pitch too, so I was cautious in my halftime teamtalk.

I hardly needed to, though, as it turned out. We went out in the second half and really took the game to them. We forced the play, we bossed the midfield, and we did everything we didn’t do last time – while using the same formation that had come to grief on the road.

It was hardly necessary for me to shift to a flat four-man midfield in the latter stages, but doing so served to cement our dominance of the center of the park. Crovari and Baú had Sassuolo’s wing players tied in knots all afternoon, and the superb play of the new arrival turned some heads.

Antonazzo also played the full ninety minutes at right back and did himself proud in his first home appearance. The new boys did themselves proud, and when the full time whistle went we could really feel good about our performance for the first time in a few hard weeks of work.

We left the pitch to a nice ovation from the home support and it was then I found out that Venezia had won at Pro Sesto, to hang with us. As well as we have played – and with eleven wins, seven draws and one loss in nineteen starts for 40 points, I can safely say we’ve played very well – our lead is exactly one point in the league. Venezia is on 11-6-2 for 39 and Sassuolo is now on 10-6-3 for 36.

We are unbeaten in eighteen league matches and we lead by one point. There’s some excellent competition for this team at this level and we’re heading into the part of the season where even one slip can be fatal. It’s going to be a challenge but my message to the squad after the game was that promotable teams meet these challenges. It’s up to them.

# # #

After my time with the team, I motioned to Masolini to follow me to the media area. I had something I wanted to say and it was media time.

I sat at the table, our covering media placed microphones in front of me and I spoke.

“I’m going to do things a little differently today, gentlemen,” I said. “I’m going to make a statement on three points, and I will take no questions. First, I was very pleased with how we played. I think we showed we were the better club today, we deserved our points and I think we are in the race for the long haul. Second, I think you people need to lay off of Roberto Muzzi. He’s playing hard, he is creating chances and most importantly he is filling the role his manager needs him to fill. And third, the next person who insinuates that Patty Myers is responsible for any misfortune that may befall this club is going to have trouble with me that he doesn’t want. Thank you.”

Then, I got up and left.

# # #

Patty waited for me outside the players’ gate and this time when we met, there was no talk about ‘bad luck’.

A few people at Euganeo know who she is, and when they saw us together, the rest of the support quickly learned. She has been as frustrated as I’ve been, though, and she was looking for a moment with Emiliani as he left the stadium.

I wanted that moment to be in my company, but he didn’t come out right away. He was writing his story and finally, we moved on to the rest of our evening.

“Let’s not work on his schedule,” I finally told her, and she nodded in reply. He could afford to wait. If he has a brain in his head – and despite my disagreements with him, I know Stefano is an intelligent man – he would wait us out. Conceding no ground, I suggested that we move along for that day.

“We’ve got better things to do,” she said. “Shall we start with dinner?”

# # #

[tenthreeleader]

Monday, January 21

We’ll be on the road this coming weekend, with real expectations on us. Today, we had a light training session and started our work on Lecco.

They are 17th in the table, but to say they pick their moments for brilliance would be an understatement. They have lost twelve of their nineteen matches with only four wins, but they are also the reason we were playing from ahead in the table on Sunday.

One of those four wins was at Sassuolo, which even we couldn’t manage, and another was against Monza when they were a hot team in the league. They’ve had trouble with the bottom of the table, which makes playing them a bit of a banana skin for us.

On paper, we should go there, get off the coach and claim the points. Whether it actually works that way is of course an entirely different matter.

They have had a lot of difficulty keeping the ball out of their net, which bodes well for the low-scoring Biancoscudati, but I keep coming back to that 1-nil win at Sassuolo as an indication of how well they can play when the chips are down.

That was the match I watched on DVD while the squad was at lunch. I didn’t see a lot wearing their shirtthat can hurt us offensively but when they can put men behind the ball they can be quite troublesome to break down. Positionally, though, I do feel they can be had and I am looking forward to seeing how our “dynamic duo” of Baú and Caputo handles their wing players.

The supporters already love Caputo, and the local fanzine has given him three straight match ratings of “8”. He’s grabbed the attention and that’s a good thing because he already seems to be a player who doesn’t mind it.

Watching him in training today, I’m looking to see if I have to hold him back in any way. I want team-oriented players here and even though Caputo has more than enough talent to excel in this league, the expression of that talent can’t come at the expense of his mates. So far, though, he’s been everything I could have asked for.

# # #

Patty also has to make another decision, one that has nothing to do with me. As well as things have been going lately for us, she seems to be up and down about whether she wants to resume our relationship. I have been keeping her at arm’s length while she makes up her mind.

I love being around her, but the issue of Paul is still hanging over her head. She also isn’t sure what she’ll do at the end of the month when her duties in the Venice office are concluded. We have made a commitment to each other in one sense, which she mentioned the other night, but now she seems to be scared about having made it.

This morning I was able to talk with her about all of those things and get something else off my chest as well.

“I guess my concern is that if you were interested in me again, you’d have let me know,” I said. “No criticism intended, but after all that’s happened I wouldn’t mind having some idea of where I stand. I know you’ve said you want to rebuild and that’s fine, but I really don’t know where I stand.”

“You haven’t been forthcoming either,” she said. “I know you’ve been trying to give me space, but you guide people for a living. I need you to do that with me.”

“I can’t guide your relationship choice, Patty,” I said. “That wouldn’t be fair and it wouldn’t be right. All I’ll tell you is this: if you want me, let’s be together. No distractions.”

# # #

Tuesday, January 22

Amid the hubbub, I’m still trying to help my bosses run a business and that means sometimes players have to go.

One of those players is Bovo, who could be a nice piece of business for the club. He’s mired in the reserves, wants to leave and whose valuation, thanks to co-owners Palermo, has now risen to €160,000. Our half naturally amounts to €80,000, which would pay for all my January transfers and leave bottom line money left over at the same time.

The club has lost about €500,000 this season, from an initial bank balance of just over €1,000,000. This shows the importance of getting the crowds back into the stadium and also over getting promoted. The prize money we’ve received from the Serie C cup has been negligible to this point and to sustain the payroll budget we have at present, we either need to reduce overhead or raise revenue through attendance. It certainly won’t come through prize money.

The board has allowed the payroll budget to remain at its pre-season level, and the renegotiated contracts we did last month with our key players has allowed me to bring in Caputo and Antonazzo with the money we saved.

A transfer fee for Bovo, though, would certainly be nice. And a fee of that size, for a player who isn’t able to break out of my reserves, would be fabulous.

The tricky part of this lies in the uniquely Italian rule of co-ownership. Any bid for a player who is co-owned must of course be accepted by both his clubs for a player to move. For a Serie A club like Palermo, a fee of €80,000 is chump change. For us, it’s a fair amount of dosh and since Bovo is contracted through 2010, I wouldn’t mind being able to collect.

Our initial notification to clubs that we would be interested in entertaining offers for our share of the player met with huge response. Twelve of the twenty clubs who have expressed interest are willing to meet our asking price. It’s now a question of where Andrea would like to go.

That decision is completely up to the player. My only condition was that he not go to a rival, but with the interest that’s being shown in him, Andrea can pick and choose.

As far as other sales go, I really don’t contemplate any. Most of what passes for my reserve squad is out on loan and it’s fair to say a large number of those players won’t be part of the 2008-09 Biancoscudati, if I’m still around to make that decision. There are a few people in that list I’m watching at their loan clubs, but right now if I felt any of them could truly help me, I’d have considered recalling them.

# # #

[tenthreeleader]

Wednesday, January 23

We’re heading west again this week, which means an early day of travel and another overnight stay. Lecco is in Lombardy, about thirty miles north of Milan, so we’ll be on the coach on Saturday.

The bookmakers have installed us as 1-2 favorites on the road, which brings up all the old caveats about how hard it is to play away from home with expectations. But after the events of the last few days, I’m ready for that expectation.

I’ve brought some of it on myself, by how I answered Emilani at my post-match soiree on Sunday. He threw down the gauntlet and my response picked up that gauntlet and slapped him across his face.

I have to be very careful now. Public feuds are not desirable with the press – at least not for a first-year manager. The big boys in this business can do and say as they like without too much worry, because their reputations insulate them from a certain amount of criticism.

For example, even the British tabloid media, which is notorious for its intrusion and direct style of writing, can’t make a dent in Sir Alex Ferguson. Of course, the former Govan shop steward has the added advantage of not giving a hang what his detractors have to say. My skin isn’t quite that thick yet.

Some of the opposition comes from the fact of my nationality. I am quite certain of that, as Italian football is fiercely parochial and understandably so. I could duck under some of the criticism and note that I’m also part Swedish, but I am proud of my heritage and don’t apologize for it.

I’m also different from what they are used to. I’ve been unsparing of myself when I’ve messed up, and haven’t tried to blame others when things haven’t gone right.

Except for Emiliani. There I had no trouble placing blame, and I called the reporter into my office today after training for a clear-the-air session. I also asked that Sestaro be notified I had a media visitor, and that his presence might be requested.

Emiliani doesn’t spend much time in the club offices. He’s usually either on the pitch or in a press area someplace during the week and in the press box or around the changing room after matches. His face isn’t familiar to some at the club so he was in an unusual position when he checked in with Christina to see me.

Part of this was by my design. There are places some reporters think they own. My purpose here was to show him that when he comes to the front office he leaves his turf.

I showed him back to my space, and he stepped inside. “What an orderly office,” he commented, and I made a mental note to thank Christina for cleaning the space on her own initiative. He moved to the door and I shook my head.

“No,” I said. “That door stays open.”

“May I ask why?”

“Because I don’t have closed-door meetings,” I said simply. “Please, have a seat.”

“Again, may I ask why?”

“Because if the door never closes and people can see inside, I can’t be accused of anything that isn’t true,” I said. “Now, please be seated.”

I sat, and he took out his notebook.

“No need for that,” I said. “What I have to say to you is off the record.”

“I don’t work that way,” he said immediately, opening his book.

“Then we’ll have a delay in starting,” I said. “Your choice. As for me, I’ve got all afternoon.” I buzzed Christina, who replied immediately.

“Please have Filippo report to my office,” I said.

“Ganging up on me?” he asked, and I shook my head, maintaining my calm.

“No,” I said. “It’s important to me that this conversation be witnessed.”

Now he looked hesitant. The notebook remained open, though, and as my deputy arrived, I motioned him to a nearby chair.

“Off the record,” I repeated. “This has nothing to do with Calcio Padova.”

Finally, he nodded.

“Good,” I said. “Stefano, you know I’m very upset with you about the article you did about Patty Myers.”

“I write what people think,” he said. “Are you seeing her again?”

“You don’t need to be defensive,” I said, and he showed me a look of considerable surprise. “But I made a promise on Sunday and it is time to enlighten you on what that promise means.” I glossed over his personal question.

“Very well,” he answered.

“I warned you the first time your paper wrote about Patty,” I said. “At the time you told me you didn’t write the article and I believed you. Now you have written an article, under your own name. You’ve criticized me for showing too much patience with players such as Eder Baú but when you get right down to it, I’ve shown the same patience with you that I’ve shown with him. You haven’t criticized me for that.”

I looked at him and spoke calmly, even though I could see little sparks before my eyes as I did so. “If you ever write another article that hurts her, we’ll see you in court,” I said. “And that is a promise. She has nothing to do with this club, she has nothing to do with the results this club attains, and above all she has nothing to do with you. Do I make myself perfectly clear?”

“You are attempting to censor me,” he said. “I’m not scared of you.”

“I attempt no censorship,” I said. “I can’t control what you write. But I will tell you that words mean things, and that I’m watching your words from today forward. If I see words I don’t like, there will be consequences. You can write whatever you want about me, about how I manage this club, or any decision I make in my job. But when you next cross the line, I will make you rue the day.”

He looked for a sign of weakness but instead saw an icy blue gaze in return. I spoke again, clipping off my words.

“Do-I-make-myself-clear?”

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“You try me,” I challenged. “Look, I can’t censor you and I’d rather not restrict your access, which I certainly could do based on some of the comments you’ve made in previous columns. I’ve spoken with the chairman about this and for the time being we’ve chosen not to approach your superiors. I wanted to have this discussion with you first and foremost. I’m a reasonable man, Stefano. I want you to see reason.”

At that, he stood and his face started to grow red. There are some things you evidently don’t say to hot-blooded Italian men and that was one of them. At long last, I had hit his hot button rather than the other way around and I was curious to see how he would handle it. The answer was not long in coming – it was ‘not very well’.

“You want to tell me what to write, and I won’t do it!” he answered, maintaining his air of defiance as his voice rose. “Now, you listen to me, Mr. Manager! I’ll write what I want, when I want to write it! How do you like that?”

So I stood too. “But not about whom you want,” I repeated, in the same level tone. “Now, I expect to have no issue with you when covering this team. You write what you want, when you want. But I repeat: you don’t go where you aren’t welcome.”

Now I locked eyes with the reporter and got the last word.

“Ever.”

With that, Masolini showed the reporter to the door. I don’t think I accomplished much from a reportage standpoint, but I have made myself quite clear. I have an attorney and I won’t hesitate to call him. If he crosses me again, he’ll need a better lawyer than I’ve got to pull himself out of the hole he’ll dig.

# # #

[tenthreeleader]

Thursday, January 24

I was curious to see what he’d write today. He wrote about the club.

That’s fine with me. I know he doesn’t like me at the moment and frankly I don’t care. I don’t even care if he slags me off either in the paper or in his blog. All I want is for him to stay away from Patty while she makes her decision.

Emiliani can hurt me or perhaps even cripple me in this job based on what he writes. I’m prepared to take that risk. The whole point of my meeting yesterday was to make my conflict with him greater than any conflict he may have with Patty.

It’s an extremely dangerous game, and it may have lasting repercussions on both my future at Padova as well as my long-term viability as a manager.

Yet, I would feel remiss if I didn’t give Patty every inch of room she needs to make her decision. So as I headed off to run training today, I felt good about what I had done.

# # #

The attention I’ve given to Emiliani has also meant a decrease in the media’s scrutiny of Muzzi, who despite his bravado really needs to score a goal.

I haven’t told my players exactly what I’m up to, but I think they can sense it. I want the pressure to be on me, rather than on them, as we head west this weekend. They’re the ones who have to get the result, and I want them to have as much freedom as I can give them as they pursue it.

We’re going to be in reasonably good health while we make the attempt. Rabito is nearly ready to return to the lineup after his injury, which gives Gentile a push in the center of midfield.

I also spoke with Baú and Crovari about the whole idea of switching positions during play. “I didn’t care for it so much at times last week because I hadn’t accounted for it in the match plan,” I said. “I like what you did with it, but in future I’ll be the one who plans for that.”

Both players nodded and I could sense an apologetic look from the ever-professional Baú. “Don’t worry, it’s not like I’m angry,” I said. “It’s just that I’d like to be able to think about how much havoc you two can cause other teams and in the end I need to be able to control that. Don’t think you’ve done a bad thing. You haven’t.”

I also had the chance to work with the defenders on weight training issues today. Now that we are back to a weekly schedule for the next few matches, we can return to more normal types of training.

That means strength, because we’ll need it when March arrives. We stopped doing real hard physical training long ago, to cope with the rigors of the season, but our conditioning work is as hard as it has ever been to keep the players at peak fitness.

My goal for this kind of work is to give the players a physical base on which they can draw for the end of the season. Right now the players are playing a lot of football and after awhile, the grind of a nine or a ten-month season starts to tell.

So when I can help keep a player physically strong, I will encourage them to do so. It’s for the player’s own good to help avoid injury as well as to the team that needs the player’s services.

Today, after the training session, I gathered Gotti, Faísca, Sacchetti, Paz, Donadoni, Controneo and Antonazzo around me for a little heart-to-heart. “Gentlemen, I’d like to reintroduce you to an old friend. This is a weight bench,” I smiled,.

I pointed to the object of my discourse. “We’re going to make sure that before we leave training each day, you’ve all had a little quality time with Mr. Weight Bench here. Nothing excessive, but keeping up physical strength is important and the physios will be looking for you here.”

I heard a chorus of soft disagreements. “Boss…oh, come on, gaffer…why now, boss?” I smiled.

“Because now is the time to do the hard work that gets you a winners’ medal at the end of the year,” I said. “I think you want one of those medals, and I know your bank book wants you to win one of those medals too, for the raise you’ll get next season according to the club contract policy. Right?”

That changed the more mercenary-minded of my defenders to my point of view, and we all did a little lifting before hitting the showers for the day.

Even me. I never know when I’m going to need to tie some reporter in a knot.

# # #

Friday, January 25

With just 48 hours separating us from the last match of January, we got some bad news concerning Bovo’s potential sale today.

Juve Stabia was the player’s selection and the parties agreed terms – but it came out today that the club that sold Caputo to us could not meet the transfer fee and canceled the deal.

That leaves us less than a week to find a new suitor, among clubs who have already made moves for other players after losing out for Bovo. Sometimes there’s no winning for losing – and in this case, we’re the ones who will be losing through not getting a transfer fee for the player.

The money counters aren’t real happy this morning. From my point of view, I have a player I hadn’t planned on having so that makes me happy when it comes to squad coverage. The balance between the two can be the difference between making and losing money.

We have to walk that line now, due to the losses the club has incurred over the first half of the season. It’s not catastrophic by any stretch of the imagination, but the bean counters in the boardroom would rather have more beans to count than less. It’s a business and we can’t forget that.

My media gathering after training was a little tense, but nothing I couldn’t handle. The squad is in a very good mood as we prepare to get on the coach tomorrow and this is especially true of my strikers. Muzzi retains his optimism and Varricchio wants to go out there to see if he can score again.

Massimiliano’s attitude is perfect. He’s been a real consistent threat in front of goal – perhaps our only consistent threat in most matches of late – and feeding his confidence hasn’t exactly been difficult.

I have a confident, determined group of players who are starting to see that they can grind out results on certain occasions. That’s the spirit I need to see and it’s the kind of play that can keep us in the playoff race for a long time to come.

# # #

Saturday, January 26

Travel day today, but my mind is on tomorrow – and what will come after it.

As for my job, I’ve settled into what will likely be the regular XI for as long as they can last. Gentile starts in the center of midfield, Baú and Caputo are the wing players, and Crovari is restored to the holding position. Paz will slot back into the right full back position and I’ll have my first choice back line intact for the match.

Healthwise we remain in reasonable shape. The rest is up to the players.

# # #

Patty says she wants to come see me on Monday, when we’ll be taking a light training day if we win tomorrow. There’s only one reason why she would want to do that – it’s time to decide.

My uneasy truce with Emiliani is holding, and that is very good news. He made the trip to Milan with us today, though not traveling with the team, and my guess is I’ll be under very close scrutiny tomorrow.

That’s fine with me – let the pressure fall on me instead of my players and let it fall on me instead of Patty. Her e-mail of this afternoon showed me that I need to remove all the pressure I can from her shoulders.

Rob:

Just want you to know, I’m seeing Paul this evening. I have to see him and I know you’ll understand. Looking forward to seeing you Monday.

Patty

Well, at least she’s not feeling pressure about him. Yippee.

# # #

[tenthreeleader]

Sunday, January 27

Lecco 1-2 Padova

The goal of every table-topping team is to go to a bottom club and get a big result. So imagine my surprise when less than ten minutes into today’s match we found ourselves trailing.

Again, Lecco did not look like a team fighting to avoid automatic relegation. Rigamonti-Ceppi only had 1,344 paying customers in it today but that didn’t seem to matter much to the home side.

I wish we could come out and apply ourselves like they did to us today. After a gentle notice to the players that they needed to relax, we wound up relaxing the ball right behind Orlandoni to get their fans cheering, drive me to the water cooler for an ibuprofen, and put up a number on their side of the scoreboard much earlier in the match than I wanted to see it.

The wrong Massimiliano scored the goal – Vieri, for them, placing an inch-perfect strike past the right arm of the diving Orlandoni from 15 yards right as the clock turned over ten minutes. He had squirmed past Faísca inside the penalty area and the defender, not wishing to concede a penalty, had to back off the shooter.

None of us were terribly happy about that, and the keeper’s look of dismay told Faísca all he needed to know. However, Vasco has been a rock for us all season and Orlandoni knows that all too well. He was also human, when last I heard.

Now chasing the game on the road, I signaled for more direct pressure on the Lecco backline, which I felt was suspect. Gentile agreed with me, getting stuck into Mirko Stefani with a good solid challenge to free up the ball four minutes after Vieri’s goal.

The ball rolled free and it was picked up by Varricchio, who moved into the Lecco penalty area. His path to goal was closed off so he squared the ball – for Gentile, who had popped up from his challenge and very intelligently moved into space.

Andrea’s first touch was a beauty, producing a rising shot from just inside the edge of the area that crashed home to equalize in fairly short order.

That produced quite a reaction from our bench, with the players jumping up as one to salute a very well-taken goal. There would be no lingering doubt as to our intent, as we headed back up the field for Lecco’s kickoff.

Unfortunately, we weren’t able to impose ourselves on the game for the rest of the half, despite the huge lift Gentile’s hustle had given us. We soon learned why Lecco had given Sassuolo such trouble – they did a masterful job of slowing us down. Little things away from the ball – little shoves, little shoulder-to-shoulder charges that technically aren’t fouls on the ball but which can slow a pacier team – we saw them all.

And they got to the break with a 1-1 draw. I elected to be patient with the players, knowing the physical testing they were enduring due to the rising number of fouls whistled against the home team. We sat for the teamtalk and I knew I needed to stay positive.

“They’re trying to push you around, but you don’t need me to explain that,” I said. “I’m proud of how you’re standing up to them and not retaliating. Just use your skill and stay patient. You can do this.”

With that we went back out onto the pitch and struggled mightily to create chances against a packed Lecco defense. Our frustration eventually started to grow and it only got worse when they started to counter us.

First it was just a few long balls over the top of the defense which were easily handled by Orlandoni. Then it was a half-chance for Vieri. Then it was a full-stretch save, again off Vieri’s boot, that my surprised keeper had to palm around his left post.

My guys were starting to lose a bit of composure as the 17th-placed team in the table started to come out of their shell. And that change in tactic finally did in Lecco.

Growing in confidence, they extended themselves at the back and we hit them for pace in the 83rd minute. We caught them in possession at the halfway line and before they knew what hit them, the ever-present Caputo had lofted a dangerous ball into the box for the run of Varricchio, and my top scorer seemed to relish the challenge of catching up to the ball.

So did defender Mirko Stefani, who caught Varricchio just as he entered the area, giving him a shoulder charge to try to dislodge him from the ball. Both players went flying and this time the foul – and the penalty – was given.

Their fans were up in arms as Baú took the ball for the penalty – and flipped it to Muzzi. Roberto looked at me, and I thought it through for a moment before nodding my head. It was a hell of a team gesture to make but also a gamble of huge proportions.

Yet, getting Muzzi on the scoreboard is a priority for the team and Eder knew it. So he gave up the ball. With a sloppy grin, Roberto put the ball on the spot, waited for the referee’s whistle, and whipped a perfectly taken penalty into the lower left corner of the net to give us the lead.

It was his first goal in over ten hours of football and his relief was obvious. So was mine, frankly, as I signaled for a flat four-man midfield and a deep defensive line that would make us much more stable behind the ball.

Soon it was over, and we celebrated a win we hardly deserved. The coaching staffs exchanged pleasantries and I was left to marvel at how teamwork could win the day.

# # #

This time, Emiliani had nothing to say. I congratulated Baú in the changing room and thanked him for putting team ahead of self. Now that the pressure is off Muzzi, I intend to use the lesson of today to loosen up the squad.

“What you saw today was the kind of action I want to see between teammates,” I said. “We are in a race for the top of the table and you saw a player give up a goal to get a teammate on the board for a game-winning goal. That is professional. That is a teammate. Well done.”

And that’s just what I told the media. “Sometimes the guy who takes the penalty isn’t always the best at a given task,” I said, and everyone in the room knew who I was talking to. “Now, I’m not going to insult your intelligence by saying I somehow masterminded this. Eder Baú did that, and he did it because he knew his teammate needed a goal. It just goes to show, in a team game you need to play like teammates to succeed.”

Venezia won again today as well to stay a point behind us. But if we keep giving like this, keep working together like this, we’ll be just fine.

# # #

[tenthreeleader]

Monday, January 28

I met Paul Marsley today. I didn’t want to, but I met him anyway.

It wasn’t a very good day in terms of emotion. But most importantly, I have my girlfriend back, and it’s because Paul decided to follow Patty to her meeting with me tonight in Padua.

With the squad getting a light day today to prepare for Sunday’s return match against Cavese at Euganeo, Patty set the stage by letting me know how things had gone.

“Not well,” she wrote.

“For him or me?” I answered.

For some reason she didn’t find that especially funny, but she showed up at the office half an hour later so at least she didn’t find it insulting. This time, Christina recognized her and mentioned I had gone to finish the training session so she was welcome to wait.

Patty did as Christina asked, and soon I returned, having been alerted by a text message from my secretary. I returned to find Patty resplendent in a stylish pink sweater and black pants, reminding me of her habit of appearing physically perfect.

She smiled at my approach and I knew who had had the bad day yesterday. Together we walked to my office where she sat opposite my desk in the same chair Emiliani had used last week. I liked the present view much better.

“I take it you had a few things to deal with last night?” I asked, still with some nervousness.

“Yes,” she said. “I met him for dinner and he made his play.”

“I have to ask,” I said, nearly cutting her off in mid-sentence. “Why did you do this?”

“Because he’s a dear friend who has been with me through all the bad times – including November when we split. He’s been there for me, Rob, and I had to tell him what I was thinking in person.”

I was about to commend her for her loyalty when I remembered that she hadn’t extended me the same courtesy back in November. Despite our talk about getting back together, I realized how much I was still hurting. I put that down to raw emotion, even if I didn’t like it very much. Then she stunned me.

“He asked me to marry him, Rob. I told him no.”

I took a deep breath and let it out with a loud whoosh. “You knew he would ask, didn’t you?”

She nodded. “Yes, I did, and I broke his heart. How do you feel about that?”

# # #

With that, we headed out to start our evening. We wound up at Q again, and for the first time, we were given some respectful distance.

We had a lovely dinner but I couldn’t help but think about how things had come to this end and worse yet, why she still couldn’t seem to commit to me despite talking a good game.

Finally, though, I thought it might be a better idea to put that all out of my mind. I wanted to enjoy her company and after a glass of wine, she seemed to want to enjoy mine.

Finally, she put down her wineglass and looked me in the eye.

“I love you, Rob,” she said, and I nearly fell out of my chair.

“Would you get up and leave if I told you that you’ve got a funny way of showing it?” I smiled. She gave me a rueful look in reply.

“No, because I’d deserve it,” she said. “In November I loved you too much, if that makes sense. I saw you holding Kate and I nearly lost my mind. You saved me from a pretty drab existence last fall, and I adored you for it. So when I fell for you, I fell hard. When I fell away from you, I fell harder.”

“Okay, so let me ask this,” I said. “What do we do so this doesn’t happen again?”

“We spend time when we can, we do what we can to help this relationship grow, unlike the last time, when you were away all the time,” she said. “Now I know you have a busy job and you’re gone a lot, but that leads me to the second thing I need to tell you.”

“What now?” I thought to myself before sharply reminding myself that I needed to hear her out.

“If you want me back, I’m going to move to Padua,” she said. “My work in Venice is done and I will look to tide myself over until the end of the football season. That way I can have a fighting chance to see you in the evenings and we can work on making our relationship grow.”

I had to admit – I certainly hadn’t expected that. By making a real commitment, she not only had helped our relationship but she had also managed, in one stroke, to remove a source of real discord between the media and me, that of making trips to Venice to see her.

I smiled and reached across the table for her soft hands. They found mine. We spent the rest of a delightful dinner rediscovering each other and it got more comfortable with each passing minute.

Finally, we got up to pay the check – and she ran nearly headlong into Paul.

“I figured I’d find you here,” he said breathlessly. “Patty, can we talk?”

She didn’t answer so I did it for her. “You’re kidding, right?” I asked. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“I think Patty should decide that,” he answered, and I shook my head. Standing slightly behind me, Patty took my hand and held it tightly.

I looked at her would-be suitor and finally said what was on my mind. “I’ve had about enough of placing myself – and my sweetheart – behind other people,” I said, even as Patty moved subsconsiously behind me while I spoke with Paul. “Now, please excuse us, before I call someone to excuse us for you.”

He tried one last time. “You know, Patty, back at Biennale I spent some time around an old friend of yours, Peter McGuire. He said you were way too good for this guy.” He pointed at me. “I agree.”

“I don’t,” Patty said. “That person is no friend of mine.”

# # #

[tenthreeleader]

Tuesday, January 29

Today was a lot different, at least from my personal perspective. First, though, to business.

Matters at the club are unchanged, the players were in a buoyant mood, still topping the table with a mid-table club coming in to see us, and the only change I’m considering for the eleven is in the ongoing battle in central midfield.

Rabito is back in full training and is itching to play. He’s going to get his chance, though it might not be straight into the starting XI. Today he was bounding around the training pitch like a thoroughbred and obviously it looks like he’s glad to be back.

I also did a fun interview today with the Reading Evening Post, which has evidently learned that one of Berkshire’s adopted sons has been fairly successful in Italy.

Reporter Jill Weatherby is quite a bit different than our local reporters here. For one thing, she’s female. For another, she has never seemed out to get me.

We spent about half an hour talking, for an interview story that will appear a week from Monday in their paper. For me, the conversation provided a touch of “home”, in a way. I did enjoy my time in Berkshire and re-establishing the connection with old friends was quite a bit of fun.

From the sublime to the ridiculous, I then fielded questions from local media regarding Sunday’s visit by Cavese. With seven draws already in our first twenty league matches, the conversation of late has shifted from Padova’s contention for the Serie C1 title to “why don’t they have killer instinct?”

As the late, great Gilda Radner said as Saturday Night Live’s Roseanne Roseannadanna, “It’s always something.” And it is.

Either it’s my girlfriend, or not winning enough, or not winning by enough, or it’s my nationality. It’s always something.

Yet that is part of the challenge. I relish that challenge and so far we are meeting it.

# # #

Paul tried his best today. With Patty back in Venice, he made one more attempt to see her and convince her that she really ought to spend the rest of her life with him.

I finally managed to squeeze us out of the Q last night after about ten minutes of unwanted conversation with him. It nearly took calling the host over to call the police, but finally we were able to escape his persistent questioning.

Afterwards, Patty and I made a couple more decisions. She’s not moving in with me – which frankly is probably for the best – but she’s going to be a lot closer. Patty is preparing to move to Padua, and will do so in a couple of days when her work at the Venice office is done.

Even on our first day as a reunited couple, there was a lot more contact between us than usual and I like that. It is really what we should have done from the start, but our career-mindedness stopped us both from making the attempt.

I do mean both of us in that assessment. I was obviously gone a lot and will be gone a lot in the second half of the season. She had work to do with Biennale. But now we can make allowances, and thankfully they haven’t come too late to save our relationship. We’re going to try to get serious now, and I’m looking forward to it.

She also brought a bottle of champagne to my apartment tonight. When it was gone, so were our inhibitions.

Before bed tonight, I wrote a letter to England, and I’m going to send it by registered mail:

McGuire:

Per your e-mail of November 19, I’m writing to tell you that I now have the same lady back in my life that I did before your wife cut you off at the knees. It’s too bad – what she really needed to cut off, she must have missed.

Perhaps she couldn’t find it. You know what they say about ‘little men’ – and you will never defeat me.

- Rob Ridgway

# # #

[tenthreeleader]

Wednesday, January 30

It does not appear as though the club is going to be able to sell Bovo’s contract so we are watching €80,000 fly out the window.

We could lower our asking price, I suppose, but at this point there aren’t too many teams at or near our level who are able to meet even a lowered valuation. Since the player is under contract for two more seasons, we’ll try again in the coming close season.

The player took it surprisingly well. He wants his chance, and he’s going to keep trying to work for it, but the saving grace for him is that he knows there is plenty of interest for his services in the summer. He won’t have trouble finding a place to play next season.

We are settling into a nice rhythm at the moment, with no midweek games due to the hiatus in the Serie C Cup. The first day of the week is now primarily for video and light training for player recovery, with the second day a full training session. Wednesday is generally a day for shadow play, where we take our scouting report on the coming opposition and try to get a feel for what they like to do on the pitch.

That was today, where a group of u-20s and reserve players made up what the NFL would call a scout team. Having seen Cavese once already and being armed with video of their recent matches, we had a solid training session today.

Cavese is off to an indifferent start, with six wins, seven draws and seven losses so far. With that record, they ought to be mid-table and they are, in eleventh position. Yet they can hurt us and we are well aware of it.

I’m prepared now to make a more or less permanent change to the starting eleven. I’ve had difficulty finding spots for both Crovari and Baú at the same time while also allowing Music his chance to influence a game. Now I will move Baú permanently to the left side of midfield since Caputo has shown immense acumen on the right. They will give us the best pair of wing players in the league, without doubt.

My intention is to turn them loose and see what they can do. Cavese will be the first team to see how it works out.

My focus is excellent. Patty is back, my letter is winging its way to England and I could not be happier.

# # #

Thursday, January 31

I’m planning a trip on Monday, to watch Novara again. They will travel to play at Pro Patria and in the long run I think they may well be more dangerous to us than Sassuolo or Venezia.

The reason for this is that they are always a threat to score. On the scoreboard, they seem to like seeing the number four next to their name, and when that is the case they show themselves to be a team I need to scout.

I take a part of that statement back, actually. When I saw them play Venezia they preferred “five” instead. Sinigaglia and Rubino have been are scoring freely again and with one match still to play against them in the league, we’ll have quite a bit of work on to stay ahead of them if they keep scoring at anywhere near their present pace.

After training today, I took a walk through the downtown area and watched some of the reactions I got from people. Ordinarily I don’t do that, and after the article on Patty I made it a point to stay out of public view until we got the result against Sassuolo.

Yet today I was curious. We are top of the table and playing decently so I wanted to see if people would slag me off like the paper seems to enjoy doing.

I caught a few people rubbernecking as I passed them on the street, and finally I stopped into a newsstand to pick up a copy of the Gazetto Dello Sport. I guess I was itching for someone to say something to me, but nobody would.

I know I’m not in a popularity contest, but it’s nice for a manager to receive praise right along with his players. Yet today, that was not forthcoming for me.

Without letting anyone know what I was up to, I paid for my copy of the paper and sauntered back toward my apartment. When I arrived, I found Patty had just called to tell me she was on her way over.

That’s the best news of all. As we rediscover each other, if it has to be two against the world, that’s fine with me.

# # #