Jack Rudd

32 teams wouldn't be ridiculous. Assuming the same results as in the actual qualifiers, that would have brought in Slovenia, Norway, Denmark, Bosnia-Herzegovina and four fourth-place teams. (Eliminated as worst 4th-placed team: Serbia with 4. Seeds: Netherlands, Israel, Scotland, Montenegro; non-seeds: Finland, Bulgaria, Estonia, Belarus.)

Here's one I made earlier: GROUP A FRA 6 +3 SUI 4 +1 ROU 1 -1 ALB 0 -3 Remaining fixtures: Romania v Albania, France v Switzerland ROMANIA WIN, FRANCE WIN: France win the group. If either game is won by more than one goal, Romania are second and Switzerland are third. If both games are won by exactly one goal, Romania and Switzerland are separated by goals scored (currently 2 each). Either way, the third-placed team will have 4. ROMANIA WIN, FRANCE DRAW: France first, Switzerland second. Romania third on 4. ROMANIA WIN, FRANCE LOSE: Switzerland first, France second. Romania third on 4. ROMANIA DRAW, FRANCE WIN OR DRAW: France first, Switzerland second. Romania third on 2. ROMANIA DRAW, FRANCE LOSE: Switzerland first, France second. Romania third on 2. ROMANIA LOSE, FRANCE WIN OR DRAW: France first, Switzerland second. Albania third on 3. ROMANIA LOSE, FRANCE LOSE: Switzerland first, France second. Albania third on 3. Group B ENG 4 +1 WLS 3 = SVK 3 = RUS 1 -1 Remaining fixtures: England v Slovakia, Wales v Russia ENGLAND WIN, WALES WIN OR DRAW: England first, Wales second. Slovakia third with 3. ENGLAND WIN, WALES LOSE: England first, Russia second. Wales third with 3. ENGLAND DRAW, WALES WIN: Wales first, England second. Slovakia third with 4. ENGLAND DRAW, WALES DRAW: England first, Wales second. Slovakia third with 4. ENGLAND DRAW, WALES LOSE: England first, Slovakia second. Russia third with 4. ENGLAND LOSE, WALES WIN: Wales first, Slovakia second. England third with 4. ENGLAND LOSE, WALES DRAW: Slovakia first, England second. Wales third with 4. ENGLAND LOSE, WALES LOSE: Slovakia first. England and Russia both on 4: if either victory is by more than one goal, Russia are second. If both games are won by one goal, it comes down to goals scored. (England currently have 3, Russia 2.) Either way, the third-placed team will have 4. Group C GER 4 +2 POL 4 +1 NIR 3 +1 UKR 0 -4 Remaining fixtures: Germany v Northern Ireland, Poland v Ukraine GERMANY WIN, POLAND WIN: Germany and Poland qualify. If Poland win by two more than Germany, Poland win the group. If Germany win by at least as many as Poland, Germany win the group. If Poland win by one more than Germany, it comes down to goals scored. (Poland currently have 1, Germany 2.). Northern Ireland third with 3. GERMANY WIN, POLAND DRAW OR LOSE: Germany win, Poland second. Northern Ireland third with 3. GERMANY DRAW, POLAND WIN: Poland first, Germany second. Northern Ireland third with 4. GERMANY DRAW, POLAND DRAW OR LOSE: Germany first, Poland second. Northern Ireland third with 4. GERMANY LOSE, POLAND WIN: Poland first, Northern Ireland second. Germany third with 4. GERMANY LOSE, POLAND DRAW: Northern Ireland first, Poland second. Germany third with 4. GERMANY LOSE, POLAND LOSE: Northern Ireland first. If Germany lose by at least two more than Poland, Poland second. If Germany lose by no more than Poland, Germany second. If Germany lose by one more than Poland, it comes down to goals scored (Germany have 2, Poland 1). Either way, third place has 4. Group D ESP 6 +4 CRO 4 +1 CZE 1 -1 TUR 0 -4 Remaining fixtures: Czech Republic v Turkey, Spain v Croatia CZECH REPUBLIC WIN, SPAIN WIN: Spain first. If either win is by more than one goal, Czech Republic are second and Croatia are third. If both wins are by exactly one goal, it comes down to goals scored (Croatia currently have 3, Czech Republic 2). In either case, third place has 4. CZECH REPUBLIC WIN, SPAIN DRAW: Spain first, Croatia second. Czech Republic third with 4. CZECH REPUBLIC WIN, SPAIN LOSE: Croatia first, Spain second. Czech Republic third with 4. CZECH REPUBLIC DRAW, SPAIN WIN OR DRAW: Spain first, Croatia second. Czech Republic third with 2. CZECH REPUBLIC DRAW, SPAIN LOSE: Croatia first, Spain second. Czech Republic third with 2. CZECH REPUBLIC LOSE, SPAIN WIN OR DRAW: Spain first, Croatia second. Turkey third with 3. CZECH REPUBLIC LOSE, SPAIN LOSE: Croatia first, Spain second. Turkey third with 3. Group E ITA 6 +3 BEL 3 +1 SWE 1 -1 IRL 1 -3 Remaining fixtures: Belgium v Sweden, Italy v Republic of Ireland Italy have won the group. BELGIUM WIN, ITALY WIN: Belgium second. Third-placed team eliminated on 1 point. BELGIUM WIN, ITALY DRAW: Belgium second. Republic of Ireland third on 2, and eliminated.* BELGIUM WIN, ITALY LOSE: Belgium second. Republic of Ireland third on 4. BELGIUM DRAW, ITALY WIN OR DRAW: Belgium second. Sweden third on 2. BELGIUM DRAW, ITALY LOSE: Belgium second. Republic of Ireland third on 4. BELGIUM LOSE, ITALY WIN OR DRAW: Sweden second. Belgium third on 3. BELGIUM LOSE, ITALY LOSE: Sweden and Republic of Ireland tie on 4 points. If Republic of Ireland's winning margin is at least 3 more than Sweden's, Republic of Ireland second. If it is no more than one more than Sweden's, Sweden second. If it is exactly two more than Sweden's, it comes down to goals scored (both are currently on 1 goal). Either way, third place has four points. Group F HUN 4 +2 ISL 2 = POR 2 = AUT 1 -2 Remaining fixtures: Iceland v Austria, Hungary v Portugal ICELAND WIN, HUNGARY WIN: Hungary first, Iceland second. Portugal third with 2. ICELAND WIN, HUNGARY DRAW: Hungary and Iceland qualify. If Iceland win by one goal, Hungary first. If Iceland win by at least three goals, Iceland first. If Iceland win by exactly two goals, it comes down to goals scored. (Hungary have 3, Iceland 2.) Portugal third with 3. ICELAND WIN, HUNGARY LOSE: Portugal and Iceland qualify. Whichever of them wins by the bigger margin wins the group; if they win by equal margins, it comes down to goals scored (Iceland currently have 2, Portugal 1). Hungary third with 4. ICELAND DRAW, HUNGARY WIN: Hungary first, Iceland second. If Hungary win by exactly one goal, Portugal are third with 2. If Hungary win by more than one goal, the third-placed team are eliminated. ICELAND DRAW, HUNGARY DRAW: Hungary first. Iceland and Portugal are second and third in some order, separated by goals scored. Third-placed team has 3. ICELAND DRAW, HUNGARY LOSE: Portugal first, Hungary second. Iceland third with 3. ICELAND LOSE, HUNGARY WIN: Hungary first, Austria second. Whichever of Iceland and Portugal loses by the smaller margin is third; if they lose by the same margin, it comes down to goals scored. ICELAND LOSE, HUNGARY DRAW: Hungary first, Austria second. Portugal third with 3. ICELAND LOSE, HUNGARY LOSE: Portugal first, Hungary second. Austria third with 4.

No, second place in the group means a game against the group F runner-up (possibly Austria) in the next round, and then probably the winner of France's group in the quarter-finals. First place in the group means a game against the third-placed team in groups A/C/D, and then the winner of group F (possibly Portugal) in the quarter-finals.

Another forum I'm on has swearchecked "Paddy Power" into "a tediously 'wacky' bookmaker".

There'd have been one in Euro 2008 had Turkey v Czech Republic been a draw.

We could always use Cyrillic characters to refer to the Russia manager. Леонид Викторович Слуцкий

This is good news; I've just put him in my Twatball team.

For those of you who like Fantasy Football in reverse. Want to score points for players being sent off, scoring own goals, storming off the squad and so on? Then Twatball is the game for you. (Edit: I have created a league on there for SI Games forum posters, if you want to join that.)

I vote for Albania.

Not quite. The Portugal v Switzerland and Spain v Greece games at Euro 2008 would still have left neither team with anything to play for, because the teams were guaranteed 1st and 4th respectively in both cases. But the only scenario that can produce dead rubbers is 6-3-3-0 with the 6 yet to play the 0.

Yo, those are some seriously good physical stats my guy's got. (Not sure what a goalie is meant to do with 20 Pace, mind.)

Shall I have a logo like this?

First Name: Andrew Second Name: Jackson Nationality: Trinidad & Tobagan Age: 15 Position: GK Side: L Role: Sweeper Keeper Current ability (1-5 stars): 5 Potential ability (1-5 stars): 5

Club Name: Arima Aardvarks Bank Balance : 0 Nation / City: Trinidad and Tobago / Arima Stadium Name: Clayton Ince Park Stadium Size 8000 (£2m) Strip Colors and Design: Green shirt, blue shorts, purple socks Youth Coaching 12 (£14m) Youth Recruitment 20 (£30m) Youth facilities 15 (£20m) Training facilities 12 (£14m)

I'd be up for being one of the 178 designers.