EPL Challenge (The Ultimate Premier League Experience)

[sdiprose]

New Kid in Town

Rookie manager Diprose takes the Fulham hotseat

Steven Diprose was announced as the new manager at Craven Cottage this evening, by chairman Mohammed Al-Fayed. The Fulham faithful that had gathered outside the ground, few and far between though they are, nevertheless looked bemused, and even bewildered at times, at Diprose’s appointment. Al-Fayed had the following explanation:

Don’t worry, I’ve never heard of him either. But I can’t afford anyone else, and he seems like a good bloke.

I was offering my services at a price he just couldn’t refuse..

*pause to encourage laughter… anyone?*

And believe me, judging by the size of the transfer kitty, he really couldn’t refuse.

Following the announcement, Diprose was kind enough to spare a few minutes for the media.

What are your feelings after being appointed at the Cottage?

To be honest, it came as a bit of a shock. I mean, I know the chairman’s skint an’ all, but I’m literally a nobody in the world of football. I just hope the fans understand my appointment, and don’t jump on my back if I have a slow start.

What do you think of the team?

Overall, from my first assessments, it’s a pretty well-rounded and balanced team, although it is most certainly lacking in depth. There are a couple of key injuries in defence, which also needs suring up, and I could do with some more competition for places in midfield and upfront. D’Ardenne did a good job moulding the starting XI, but unfortunately has left me with no real money to build on that, the plonker.

Saying that, I must stress that no player can take their place in the team for granted. I expect a lot of hard work from the team, both in training and on the pitch; I want to see players wear the Fulham badge with pride, and work to the best of their ability, but not for me, and not for the club even, but for the fans because, without them, this team would be nothing.

You take over with the club in 6th place in the Premiership. Any thoughts about that?

I’m very happy for the club, players and the fans that we are amongst the European places at this early stage in the season, and I hope to remain there or thereabouts for the remainder of the season, but I'm not expecting an easy ride by any means.

There has been some recent whispers that Wigan are interested in Moritz Volz. What do you think of that?

Moritz has a great future ahead of him, at whatever clubs he chooses to play at, but I for one, and I’m sure that the fans for another, would love to see him remain here, where I am sure he will become a club legend. If he wishes to leave, I will not stand in his way, but I don’t think that he would see a move to Wigan as a step up in the world.

Thank you for your time, Steve.

You’re welcome, any time.

And so a new era in EPLChallenge history begins…

[keedo666]

Ex-Fulham Manager D'Ardenne Hits back At New Fulham Man

Yes even though i retired from the club and football at the ripe old age of 19, with a pretty solid managerial record considering i was "little" Fulham. Having got to 2 cup quarter finals and beating every single human manager(i think -whether that was due to their shortcomings;or my brilliance remains to be seen). As well as finishing a respectable 12th in the EPL. Also the sum of 2 seasons transfer budgets was inded 500k, so for an "amateur" , to have a dig at myself, is naturally somewhat distressing. Also with his complaints of a lack of depth in defence, paolo Cannavaro will arrive at the end of the season as well as a cracking Colombian lad for 3m in january. Therefore there will be 6DC,2DL,2DR,3DMC,2ML,2MR,3MC and 4SC, and these players are all pretty much proven premiership players, so for the new manager to attack my squad demonstrates his lack of knowledge of the game. As far as im concerned he has inherited a very good squad, and it remains to be seen how he will do, i wish him well as a former manager who wants Fulham to go far, but as a person i cant help but wont him to fail after his unprovoked attack on me

[Dimony]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by keedo666:

...beating every single human manager... </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Really Mark?

[keedo666]

bah forgot about you , but then you dont really count and i only played you once at stadium of light! fair point though, but im sure i would of

[BelfastNiall]

Birmingham manager Niall Murphy today welcomed the influx of new managers to the Premiership. Marc Debieux takes over the reigns at Bolton Wanderers who finally gave Fat Tw*t the boot. Big Sam as he's known to some replaces departing Andy Nilsen at Blackburn Rovers after Nilsen left the club languishing in the bottom three.

Replacing Richard Liggins at WBA is rookie boss Joe Rojek-Smith who has a job on his hands after Liggins' failure in the summer to strengthen the squad to Premiership standards.

And finally, Murphy welcome the new boss at Fulham, Steven Diprose who has introduced himself above. On this appointment Murphy commented that he felt Fayed had made a good move in his desire to move the London club forward by disposing of the tempermental Frenchman D'Ardenne.

Welcome to the game chaps.

[Joe...]

West Brom Fans' Amazement At Exciting New Manager

The West Bromwich Albion fans were gathering around The Hawthorns in disbelief today as their new manager Joe Rojek-Smith, was unveiled.

Joe is an unknown manager but the West Brom board have put all their faith in him. Chairman, Jeremy Peace, said this about the new manager earlier on today:

"Joe is a 17 year old, enthusiastic manager. He has great character and arrogance which we think can drive the club forward. That is all however."

Joe spoke in front of the bemused fans this afternoon and made quite an impression. He had this to say:

"I know that many of you don't think i am the right man for this job but i will prove you wrong. All i ask for is a chance. My aim is to turn this great club around, from relegation strugglers, to title contenders, and with your support, i think it will happen. Maybe not this season, maybe not the next, but sometime, it will happen, and when it does, i expect a pay-rise."

Joe also revealed his intention to bring a new face into the team in January. An English striker. Although he was reluctant to give any more details.

The West Brom fans have witnessed 4 games under their new manager now and are impressed despite the results.

Everton 2 - West Brom 1

League Cup 3rd Round - West Brom 1 - Liverpool 2

West Brom 0 - Chelsea 3

Even though they suffered defeats, the team played very well and created many chances, something unheard of around The Hawthorns until Joe took over.

Since taking the reigns at West Brom, Manager Joe has sprung up a friendly rivalry with Sunderland Manager Matt Doughty. The origin of the rivalry is still unclear although reports suggest that Doughty has a dog called Joe which he thinks bares a resemblance to the West Brom boss. This has not been confirmed however.

The 2 teams, West Brom and Sunderland, met at the Stadium of Light in their last game and the match, needless to say, was full of incident.

Defensive incidents. Or Bloopers as they are sometimes called. 3-0 Sunderland. The West Brom fans went home crying and drinking copious amounts of alcahol.

Things need to get better at The Hawthorns, and quick.

[BelfastNiall]

nice start Joe

[Dimony]

Doughty screams, "I don't have a dog!"

First of all, I would like to dispel rumours about me having a dog called Joe and believing it looks similar to WBA's manager. I, in fact, have a pet Goose called Joe, and believe it smells like him, thanks for listening.

Anyway, we started off down the road at Birmingham with a 1-1 draw, with a dramatic late equalizer from Chris Brown.

Next up was Bolton at the Stadium of Light, during which we were totally robbed despite controlling the match and hitting 10 shots on target to their 4. 2-1 Bolton win and I bought another Goose called Marc.

I had a nervous breakdown before the Arsenal game but my assistant manager WON 2-1, Jay Bothroyd scoring boath goals.

Leeds was another 2-1 loss, but they deserved to win on the day at Elland Road. We didn't perform and as such, didn't bag the points.

I developed the friendly rivalry with WBA's new manager, Joe, and obviously with this in addition to the fact of it being a relegation clash, the fans knew they were in for something special. Birmingham's manager Niall commented that he wished he could've seen it.

We beat the Baggies 3-0 and my fans applauded me and the team off the pitch. WBA's fans were stunned as they had been our equals for much of the game, and had let in a penalty and a very sloppy goal late on, both by Chris Brown, man of the match.

Sitting comfortable in mid-table and still in the Carling Cup, the board praised me as a manager and made an extra £1.2M available for me to spend.

[Dunga99]

Danny King speaks exclusively to Sky sports about all the latest developments from Upton Park.

You must have been eagerly awaiting the start of the Championships season?

Yeah, of course. It's always interesting to see what sort of start to the season you're going to get, and it's always interesting to see who your last four or five games are against - especially considering the run-in we had last season. But, looking at the list, we've certainly got a great opportunity to pick up some points at the start of the season.

I hope we can get off to a great start like we did against Tottenham last year in the Premiership because then you're on the front foot.

Getting off to a good start must be a priority for you?

Absolutely. The first game of the season is so important, and in my opinion it's not so much about the performance and more about getting those first three points in the bag. Stroke home record last season wasn't that good so it's a great opportunity for us to get off to a good start.

How do you think the newly relegated clubs will do?

I think they've got a tough job on their hands. We all know just how hard coming down from the Premiership can be, look at the team over the years how have even dropped down another division ie Manchester City and Sheffield Wednesday. I'm sure they'll be prepared for it, and they've got to be good teams or they wouldn't have been in the Premiership in the first place. But I'm sure they're under no illusions that it'll be difficult for them.

The good news is that it looks as if we've got a couple of players about to re-sign?

Yes Vitti is about to sign a new four year deal and after he had a great end of season in the premiership I’m pleased that he has showed his faith in me and West Ham as a football. Also Hayden Mullins look like he wants to commit to the future of the club.

As it stands, provided we can keep the majority of the side together we've got a pretty solid all-round squad...

I think so. And as it stands we're expecting everyone back for pre-season at the start of July. Everyone looks to strengthen in the summer and there's always comings and goings at every club at this time of year. We've got a good squad of players and if we can strengthen it in certain positions, that's great. But any signings have got to be right for us.

And you'll be counting on the fans to get behind you and the lads from the off...

That goes without saying. I've said it time and time again, the fans were incredible in the last month of last season, but we need that again next season. The fans will certainly be expecting the lads to give the same effort, and it's up to me and the lads to make sure we provide it. But the fans have got to do their bit by coming to Upton Park to support us. This is going to be a big, big season for us and we need the fans with us. It's as simple as that.

Only 18 games into the Championship season and West Ham find themselves in a playoff position but not all well at the club with Holm and Carroll both demanding a transfer away from the club. Holm has been in awesome form for the club scoring almost a goal per game but since the transfer request his morale has dropped to rock bottom and now he looks like he couldn’t score in an empty net from 2 yards outs as for Carroll again this season he is either hit or miss between the sticks. Other problems at the club are the long term injuries to Camara and Harbuzi who were both expected to play big part in our search for promotion this season. Also Vitti is suffering from low morale and just can’t score at the time being.

Both my full backs Johnson (thanks Niall another turkey ) and Konchesky should both be taken outside and shot dead after some awful performances so far in the championship.

Players who are actually playing well and earning there wage packet are.

*Guarin - Injured early part of the season for 2 month but since he has returned we have a world class ball winner in midfield.

*Noble - He may only be young but has put in a lot of decent performances so far this season and also chipped in with a few goals.

*Anton - Class defender who getting better and better each game. Still can have the odd **** up in the game but on the hole has impressed me so far this season.

*Holm - My free scoring forward been scoring from all over the park but unfortunately now wants a transfer so I expect his season to go downhill from here.

More to follow soon

[Debtu]

Today we report on the amazing scenes inside the Reebok this week, it started with the surprise sacking of big Sam Alladace ,the appointment of complete unknown Marc Debieux ‘Debtu’.

Marc Debieux started his Wanderers career with a humiliating cup exit to Preston North End, Bolton missed six consecutive penalties in the shoot out, breeding rumours that the team weren’t happy with Debtu’s appointment, however the tide seems to be turning with a lucky 2-1 victory over Sunderland and a good win over much fancied Birmingham 2-0.

Reporter- caught up with Marc Debieux leaving a kebab shop late one night on the Bolton streets, here’s how the interview went.

Q- How did you come to be the new Bolton Wanderers manager?

A- I was approached after my former team Merton Park had just gone top of the Sussex Sunday league 5th division with a 9-2 victory, as I was heading off for the Hackney Marsh’s changing rooms I was approached by Bolton chairman Phil and offered the job on the spot, as an uncompromising centre half he felt I had the necessary qualities needed to take the club to the next level.

Q-What was your reaction to the job offer?

A- well it was a hard decision to leave my beloved Merton Park but the opportunity to leave Sunday league pub football for the glamour of premiership football was to compelling.

Q- The media have commented that they expect you to have a tough season how do you predict the season turning out?

A- I have full faith in the current squad and expect a top ten finish, if I can coop my transfer targets in the January sales I hope to push for a European place, in response to the media predicting a relegation battle I have no intension of going the way of the’ PAGI’ [relegated bottom in first season], I was also disappointed to see my boyhood hero’s West Ham United going down under the ‘supposed’ brilliance of Danny King.

Q- What players have you identified for potential signings?

A- we need to increase the number of players in the first team squad as a few injuries would cripple us.

More creativity is need on the wing and I want to bring in a young hungry striker to get us the goals to push us up the league.

Q-Finally who have you been most impressed with from your current squad?

A- Jussi Jaaskelelainen

A fantastic keeper who’s heroics won us the game up at Sunderland, I expect many more performances of that nature if we are to progress.

Ben Haim.

A young centre half with bags of potential, he’s not playing at the level I expect at the moment but after iv spent some time on the training ground with him he will become a great asset to the club.

Kevin Nolan.

This is the kind of player I love, plays for the badge in every game and a natural leader on the pitch.

The vultures at the other clubs tried to swoop on my first day but here me when I say ’Nolan is going nowhere he wants to stay here and become a legend’.

Diouf.

Controversy follows this boy everywhere, but he’s got ability there’s no doubting that, give him the ball and he can hurt the opposition.

I see him as a right winger instead of as the main central striker.

Ricardo Vaz Tee.

This lad is the future of Bolton Wanderers , young fresh and hungry, good ability on the ball with the ball and a keen eye for goal, I cant wait for him to return from his loan spell so he can compete for a first team place.

So there you have it Marc Debieux giving us an insight into life at the Reebok, a colourful character with possible mental problems win or lose he’s bound to be a n asset to the game.

Marc added to the sky sports reporters

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">I'm hoping West Ham get promoted this season so I can get 3 points at upton park against that numpty Danny King </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Thats me signing off for now

[Joe...]

After 4 disappointing results in a row for new West Bromwich Albion manager Joe, we thought we'd pay the enthusiastic man a visit.

Hello Joe, Hows life treating you at The Hawthorns?

Evening. Everything surrounding West Bromwich Albion football club is superb. I cannot fault it. I have the full backing of the board. The staff do their jobs superbly, and the players are.....trying their hardest....to get me the results we need on the pitch.

...Smashing...and how do you view your team? Can you give us any more details on this striker you are after?

I'm happy with the players available to me but i do feel we are lacking in firepower, hence the new striker. The player im looking at is young, English, and a very good prospect that i think, can get us the goals we so desperatly need. And he has a wonderful hair style. And nice trainers. And he makes a mean omelette.

Right...and last of all...Do you think you can save the club from relegation this season?

No..i mean...Most definetly! Sure we have lost 4 on the trot but we have played some good football and have been unlucky. The results will come in time...And if not..i have money for the referees and his assistants....Can you edit that bit?...

That was Joe talking to us earlier from his off-road vehicle. It's a Ford Fiesta in a ditch just outside of town.

Good Night.

[BelfastNiall]

Bad run for Murphy's boys

After hitting the heights of second place, Birmingham have sort of collapsed lately, failing to win any of their last six games and losing the last four on the trot in the Premiership to slip down to 11th. The only bright note is that once again Birmingham are doing well in the cups and a Quarter Final tie against Newcastle United at St Andrews awaits. With the downturn in the Premiership, the domestic cups are once again looking like the best route to success....

Some recent games

Birmingham 1 - 1 Sunderland

Played Matt's rabble of a side off the park as Doughty jams a point with an 88th minute equaliser. Birmingham left to rue missing some good chances as we failed to kill Sunderland off. This is the second time in two seasons Matt's side have scored late goals against me to nick a point and we'll be after revenge at Stadium of Light.

Bolton 2 - 0 Birmingham

After man marking Jay Jay Ockocha (hint hint lads ) Marc Debtu's Bolton's impressive start was nullified as Birmingham controlled the game for an hour. Closest we came to scoring though was a great move ending in Forssell's shot being scraped off the line by a desperate Bolton defence as my forwards continue to struggle in front of goal. Then out of the blue after we lost the influential Ledley King to injury, a defence splitting ball to Borgetti gave Bolton the lead with their first serious attack in ages. As we went to attack, we were hit with a sucker punch and conceded a second. AArgh..

WBA 1 - 1 Birmingham

With WBA Struggling as Joe gets his feet under the desk, felt we would get an easy three points here, but Joe's side were the better team on the day and deserved their point after Diego Silva had curled a great set piece home to give us the lead. If WBA continue to play like this they should avoid the drop.

Birmingham 0 - 1 Charlton

Well Mr Williams was soooooo lucky here. Not only did he get booted from the game and see his ass man win it for him, but they did so with their only shot on target the entire afternoon as Birmingham pulverised Kiely in goal who kept everything out. This is the run we're on at the minute and its feckin annoyin'.

Man City 3 - 1 Birmingham

Walloped by Ranieiri's City who sit second in the table.

Some tough games coming up but Murphy remains confident we can turn this around and get back into the European spots.

[Dimony]

I f**king hate Liverpool

OK, at the start, all was well, not too many injuries or anything, and I had just arranged the trade of central defender Webster for Ben's Viduka, a powerful striker. I also have tinkered with our team's tactics to suit our abundance of strikers better.

The first game was handled by my assistant manager, a 1-0 loss to Charlton which generally involved little but an 87th minute lucky strike. High flying Manchester City came to visit and the points were split even with a 0-0 draw.

I declared my interest in Ipswich's Dean Bowditch, which annoyed Jay Bothroyd, who quickly found his transfer request accepted. If anyone wants him for £1.25M, show me the money, because I'll be very happy to get my fifth choice striker off my hands.

Next up we had Middlesbrough in the cup, a sensational finish to extra time, with Brown netting on the 118th minute and Stead on the 119th for a 2-0 win. Matt Holland was man of the match.

Holland, however, was struck by a groin injury during a 2-0 thrashing by Liverpool. It's becoming very hard to score even with three up front and I think a tactical review is definitely in order.

Next, we host a Fulham side whos form has been similar to our own, hoping to pick up three points and start leaping up the table. The cup run is marvellous, but with Chelsea next up, it might not yield the results we were after.

[Joe...]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v729/bj_stfc/WestBrom.jpg[/b]

West Brom Reach New Heights, Although There Still Not That High

After installing a new manager West Bromwich Albion went on to lose their next 5 games. Worry was filling the minds of the supporters but they have every reason to be proud of their team after the last 3 and a half matches.

The media predicted a rout, and in the first hakf against top of the league Man United, they got one. Van Nistelrooy scoring a hattrick in 37 minutes and Park Ji-Sung adding another before the break. After a lot of tactical challenges from Joe, the second half resumed and West Brom played like they have never done before.

1st Half Score 0-4

2nd Half Score 1-0

With a goal from the increasingly impressive, Rob Earnshaw. Shame we lost 4-1.

Next we played Birmingham City under fellow EPL Manager Niall. It was a very close game with many chances either end but Birmingham took the lead on 37 minutes after a curling free-kick from Diego Silva. But Dean Holdsworth saved the game for West Brom, and got them their first point under Joe, and their 5th point of the season, with a tap in mid-way through the second half.

1-1

Next up was Bolton and Manager Marc Debtu. West Brom started where they left off in the previous game taking the lead 3 times. 1-0, 2-1, 3-2. But Bolton's Jay-Jay Okocha was unstoppable, scoring an amazing chip type thing from 30 yards and just generally being a pain in the gluteus maximus. The match finished 4-3 Bolton but nevertheless, Joe was very proud of his players.

Leeds were next and again, we started well, opening up a 2-0 lead within 18 minutes. The West Brom team, now freely scoring, had defensive blunders to blame for letting Leeds back in to the game.

Final Score 2-2

Although Dean Holdsworth had a 1-on-1 late on but failed to shoot, nevermind score.

So 2 draws and 2 losses but the team is playing like a Premiership team now, for the first time this season.

We got a brief comment from Joe as he was leaving the stadium this morning:

"I am not following in Pagi's footsteps

A very brief comment but the point of it is clear. West Bromwich Albion FC, are not leaving the Premiership

[Debtu]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v729/bj_stfc/Bolton.jpg

Bolton in good form

After a poor start of three consecutive defeats Bolton have started to show there true potential, manager Marc Debtu has put this down to his team doing what he says not what he does.

Borghetti has been in fine form scoring important goals, leaving the manager with a dilemma on his hands.

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content"> Borgys been fantastic and at 33 I thought he would be playing masters football, I now have to decide if im to give him a new contract or risk blooding a young striker in January.

</div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Bolton 2 - 1 Middlesborough

Pederson Nemith

O.G

Bolton looked good for there win taking a two goal lead, Borough never really got going until the last fifteen minutes but Ben Haim was a rock in the Bolton defence to ensure Bolton got the points.

Bolton 2 - 2 Chelsea

Gardner Robben

Davis ?

Bolton flew out the traps in this match with Gardner and davis giving ‘Debtus’ men a deserved two goal lead, Robben pulled one back before Davis showed great composer to add a third, only to be cruelly disallowed for offside.

At half time manager Marc Debieux was taken to hospital leaving his number 2 to take charge, with out the mercurial Debtu in the dug out the players looked lost and Chelsea took advantage and finished taking an undeserved point from the game.

Here are Marc Debieux’s comments as he was leaving hospital.

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">I had a ruby the night before and needed to squeeze my head before my team talk, as I was sitting there reading a jazz mag I sparked up a soothing Marlboro Light, I went to flick the butt, misread the wind and ended up with burning embers incarcerated to my scrotum, a quick dash to A/E was my only option.

</div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Bolton 4 - 3 WBA

What a game! And what a goal!

West Brom played well with Bolton only ever leading in this game once, JJ scored the goal of the season chipping the keeper from 30 yards, Marc Debieux earned his corn with two of his subs scoring in the second half giving Bolton the three points.

Marc Debieux had words of encouragement after the game stating that Joe would keep his West Brom side up if they continued to play like that.

Charlton 2 - 2 Bolton

Charlton 2 - 2 Bolton

Bent (pen) Borghetti (2)

Kisiliy

Bent m/p

Charlton led with an early Pen, and quickly doubled there lead, coasting to what seemed an easy 3 points, but just before half time Bolton scored with there first attack of the first half.

Bolton looked stronger after half time with ‘Borgy’ scoring again to bring the score level, then with 15 min to go Charlton got there second pen of the game, but it was saved much to Debtu’s delight.

Marc Debieux was surely the happier of the two managers after this exiting encounter.

[sdiprose]

Mixed bag for new Fulham manager.

A wonderful welcome it was at Craven Cottage, until the first round of matches that is. Assistant Manager Mr Kean took it upon himself to lock me away in an attemptto prove his own managerial ability. That, or it was a very unfunny prank.

14th October 2006, 15:00

Fulham 2 - 2 Arsenal

John 6, 18 v. Persie 60

Bergkamp 89

Must have been an encouraging start, and surely only a lapse in concentration would have allowed the ancient Bergkamp to equalise at the death. We were probably walked all over, but I was locked in Mr. Kean's boot so wouldn't know.

21st October 2006, 15:00

Blackburn 1 - 3 Fulham

Larsen 85 John 20, 82

Hasselbaink 31

Managed once again by Kean, looks like he did a good job this time out...

28th October 2006, 15:00

Fulham 0 - 1 Southampton

Derbyshire pen. 19

Oh well can't win them all...

4th November 2006, 15:00

Crystal Palace 5 - 1 Fulham

Dufer pen. 17, 39 Hasselbaink 2

Riihilahti 64

Macken 71, 90

Following this embarassing, humiliating defeat, Kean finally realised that he will never be a good manager.

And so Diprose can finally get his finger out to turn this mini slump around...

18th November 2006, 15:00

Fulham 0 - 4 Manchester United

Scholes 3

v. Nistelrooy 11, 16, 51

I was hoping to give Man Utd more of a match, though not expecting anything from it. We dominated the ball, but a dodgy defence and no final killer balls meant that ManU cruised to victory at the cottage.

25th November 2006, 15:00

Everton 3 - 2 Fulham

Kilbane 28 John 24

Cahill 43 Hasselbaink 67

McFadden 70

Faty s.o. 88

It was a good overall performance from the team, Faty's sending off apart. You don't often score two away from home and come away empty-handed, but after Hasselbaink's equaliser, the team seemed to fall asleep, meaning McFadden only had to walk around the cardboard cutout defenders and stick it in the almost unguarded net. Shame that. That goal woke the lads up again, but no amount of pressure resulted in an equaliser.

2nd December 2006. 15:00

Fulham 1 - 2 Chelsea

Hasselbaink 85 Essien

Duff 82

Knight s.o. 33

Chelsea took the lead shortly after Knight's dismissal, and dominated the rest of the first half; only a determined and resolute defence kept the defecit down. After an inspiring half time team talk, Fulham came out all guns blazing, raining shots down on the Chelsea goal, but a cruel break looked to have secured Chelsea the points when Duff scored. However an immediate response came from Hasselbaink, who should have equalised seconds later, hitting the ball straight at Cech when one-on-one. How I screamed! I wasn't expecting anything against Chelsea, but was disappointed not to have ended up with a point at least from what was a very gutsy Fulham performance.

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Damn that Cech! Damn and blast! Someone give him a drugs test! </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

In other news, Collins John was second in the October goal of the month award, and was also crowned Young Player of the same month. To top his performances off, he was also the third best Player of the Month, three tributes to the quality he provides Fulham. It's therefore come as a huge blow to discover than he will be out injured until mid-January at the very earliest; I will be looking to Torghelle, Hasselbaink and Bendtner to fill the goals he has given, and to turn this run of five defeats around, and to give the team some character and morale in the dressing room. It would also be nice to get one over on Niall, Ben and whichever other human manager I'm coming up against, but that of course is the least of my priorities

With January fast approaching, I am looking to bolster the squad for the rest of the season. I am open to all offers, as every player has their price. Conracts will be offered, and I will be looking to bring in some loan signings as well as a permanent one or two.

Good evening Steve, how do you feel your side has started under your reign?

Crap. Errrm, quite well. I've had a string of tough matches, against a back-to-form Man United, a rejuvenated Everton and moneybags Abramovich, and have played very well in each of the three games. I can't make similar excuses for my assistant though, he proved against Palace that he is crap.

What was that all about?

He thought he would be a better manager than me. You'll ahve to ask him for more information I'm afraid.

OK... Three matches against human opposition next up, how do you think you will fare?

I hope to give all three a run for their money, Murphy is having a pretty crap run as well so I hope to sneak some points from him. Bolton are probably the biggest threat out of the three, with a very good string of recent results. I have something up my sleeve though....

Ah, care to share this secret with Sky Sports?

*Checks over shoulder and leans in close, and whispers* Yeah, it's called my arm, but don't tell anyone, please - there isn't anything else...

Ahh... Mind gam - Ow!

Shhh.. it's a secret..

OK... good luck, Steve.

Thanks.

Prat.

Let's hope the loss of John doesn't affect the side too much...

[Dimony]

One step closer

We kicked off the day with a 1-1 draw with Fulham overseen by my Assistant, a fair result for the game before the Tynewear derby at St James' Park. A 2-0 loss, I was lucky the fans weren't calling for my head.

Next up was Chelsea in the Carling Cup. The billionaire's team were huge favourites but we struck the opener, they got an equalizer but we won 4-3 on penalties; misses by Tommy Miller, Petr Cech and Didier Drogba.

We drew Manchester United in the next round, and I remember thinking about our injury situation, which was ever increasingly getting worse. I had promoted three youth players up for the Villa game, and it showed.

We sunk one goal down, but miraculously equalled just after half time, substitute Kevin Kyle netting. Stead converted for three points, a brilliant 2-1 win over United leaves us with Wigan up next.

So, Sunderland for the Carling Cup?

I'd rather not get ahead of ourselves really, we're doing really well and have knocked out some great clubs, but we've still got to play Manchester United before thinking about the cup. They're a tough act and I can't see us being close to favourites for that one.

A bad Tynewear derby...

Tell me about it, I was surprised not to have my head called for by the fans and I'd like to apologize to them for that God-awful performance.

No relegation worries then, Matt?

Obviously it'll be a worry until we're confirmed safe, but it's certainly not something I expect to be dragged into. West Brom and Palace have practically booked their relegations so I'm sure we can get away with not catching the last spot.

And of Halit and Viduka?

Well, we needed them, and I'm sure we'll be seeing Viduka when we play Wigan next week. Some would say he's past it but look what Holland's done for us this season and everyone was saying he's past it.

[STFC will rule again]

Nice Work Squire

Much improved over the past few games as we picked up plenty of points in the league. Continuing our tremendous home form and although our away form is improving, it's still not good enough if we want to go places in this league so I'll be focusing my attention on improving the away performances as it will pay dividends in the league if we can make a marked improvement.

January is approaching and I've got a couple of targets in mind that i'll be looking to either bring into the club in January or in the summer when their contract expires. I'll also be looking to move on the players who are out of contract in the summer as there's no point paying their wages if they're not going to get any games.

Andy Webster is coming in from Sunderland in a swap for Viduka in the transfer window as I feel we've enough quality up front to cope with the loss of Viduka and Webster will improve the centre of defence no end so it's a good swap.

I feel that with a few more quality signings , we'll have a strong team and squad and will be looking to really push on in the league and try for Europe football in not too distant future hopefully.

14th October 2006

Newcastle 2

Saizar 33, pen51

Wigan 1

Roberts 81

This was one of those matches where despite creating more chances than Newcastle, we still managed to end up somehow losing the game. Saizer scored twice for Newcastle to put them in a commanding lead and although Roberts scored for us with about 10 minutes left of the game, we couldn't manage to find an equalising goal.

21st October 2006

Wigan 0

Aston Villa 0

The fans should have stayed at home watching paint try all afternoon as that would surely have been more exciting than watching the non-event draw at the JJB.

4th November 2006

Arsenal 2

Reyes 54, Alliadiere 75

Wigan 2

Roberts 73, Elliott 83

I wasn't expecting much from this game as we always have problems with the pacey attack of Arsenal so I was pleased that we got to half-time looking pretty comfortable at 0-0. But then Arsenal came out of the blocks quicker than us after half-time as Reyes took the ball past Gabbidon and scored with a neat finish past Ochoa to make it 1-0.

So I decided to go more attacking which worked as Roberts broke the offside trap and finished well to get us back into the match but I paid the price for not going more defensive after the equaliser as Alliadiere scored to make it look like all three points were heading Arsenal's way. That was until their defence fell asleep leaving Elliott through on goal to score to claim a point for us as he continues his excellent goalscoring form since joining from Sunderland in the summer.

18th November 2006

Wigan 1

Viduka 72

Blackburn 1

Barker 80

I thought we had a good chance of a win at home against Blackburn and it looked like all three points were coming our way when Viduka scored a typical goal that left the keeper with no chance to make it 1-0 to us.

That was until a defensive error let in Barker to equalise to make it 1-1 which is how it ended leaving both teams with a point which is disappointing as we should have won instead of drawing.

26th November 2006

Southampton 2

Derbyshire pen45, Maloney pen85

Wigan 2

Elliott 16, Viduka 52

A back and forth match at St Mary's as we played newly promoted Southampton. We took an early lead through Elliott but then all that good work was for nothing as we gave away yet another penalty which Derbyshire put away to make the match all square.

Viduka then scored to put us back into the lead and all three points looked to be heading our way until we gave away another penalty with only minutes to go which Maloney stepped up and scored from. Yet again, we undone all the good work and threw two points away.

2nd December 2006

Wigan 2

Elliott 19, Viduka 62

Crystal Palace 0

With our impressive home form, I was confident of getting a win which turned out to be right as Elliott scored yet again and Viduka scored in the second half to put the game beyond doubt. If we can just sort out our away form then we'll be laughing.

My assistant Chris Hutchings took over for the last 4 matches and despite losing away from home to both Man Utd (3-1) and Middlesboro (2-1), managed to pull off two great victories over Everton at the JJB (2-0) and also an amazing result away from home against the dominant juggernaut that is Chelsea (2-1) to leave us sitting pretty in mid-table.

Biggedy Biggedy Bong

[wi11iams]

Only Meeeeeee. OK so the seasons half way through, Santas emptied his load all over the front room, and millions of people all over the world are asking "was it really worth queing for 6 days to get that xbox 360" Anyway lets take a look at whats been happening in the wacky FM world.

OK so I was a busy bee in the summer and brought in quite a few players and lost a few by hook or by Ligs.

PLAYERS IN

Klaas-Jan Huntelaar from Herenveen for £3,000,000.

Good striker with all round good stats, will be hoping to push Bent and Kisliy for a 1st team place.

Gonzalo Sorondo from Inter Milan, FREE

OK so not the best CB in the world but he scored 5 goals last season and at that price I cant complain!!

Pekka Lagerblom from Werder Bremen FREE

Good DMC with an excellent 1st touch, a poor mans Alonso if you like.

Roberto Trashorras from Las Palmas £230,000

Good back up Attacking midfielder happier in the middle but can play both left and right aswell.

Lamine Traore from Anderlecht £130,000

Bit of a gamble on this CB but for the money well worth the gamble, again a poor mans Kompany. I hope!!!

Mayor from Hercules £150,000

Move over Ken Livingston there's a new Mayor in town. This guy scored for fun last season scoring more goals than anyone in FM season 04/05 so well worth a gamble, if he can get near the 1st team that is.

Raffaelle De Martino from Bellinzona £130,000

another DMC, back up to Lagerblom and my Brede

Joe Hart from Shrewsbury £55,000

With the Shrews being the nearest league club to my beloved Home Town of Telford, I couldnt help but hear about Joe, with every Premier Manager and their dog scouting the exciting young Goalkeeper IRL, I thought I'd better snap him up before the news hit the main papers or worse still the dreaded GPG.

Daniel Braathen from Rosenborg £1,000,000

OK OK I know, but he's nothing like the bullsh*t player he was before, turning into a good but not unbelievable right winger come AMC

Christian Wilhelmsson from Spurs £2,500,000

Another well known name from previous FM/CM incarnations, bought off the relegated Pagi.

Jonathan de Guzman from Feyenord £1,500,000

Great stats for the youngster, why Feyendord let him go for peanuts is beyond me as this guy looks class.

Ahn Jung-Hwan FREE

Unattached and with some well needed experience, this Korean is famous for his World Cup exploits.

Nyron Nosworthy from Matt's Mackems 10% sell on plus Matt Holland.

Needed cover for Young so with Holland being 32 and only having 1 good season left in the top flight, I deemed this excellent business.

David Limbersky from Sparta Prague £1,400,000

Excellent Utility man playing a variety of postions along the back line and midfield, will be used primarily as a left back.

PLAYERS OUT

Jonathan Fortune - Stolen - Ligs WBA - Stolen - Stolen - Robbed.

other free's who left within the rules of the game are....

Perry, Jeffers, Johansson, Mhyre, Varney, Fuller, Powell, Euell, Jardel.

Also...

Bothroyd to Matt's Mackems £475,000

Kishishev to Ipswich £250,000

Rommedhal to NEC £750,000

THE SEASON SO FAR

The 1st three games saw two defeats and a draw, had a few injuries so I hoped it was just a blip and things would turn around once the main men were available.

This was followed by a win at Newcastle a draw with Sam's Villa and a great 3-2 win over Ben's Wigan.a 2-1 loss to the Arsenal and a humiliating defeat to QPR in the League Cup loosing on Pens.

Then came the run of my career with a 12 game unbeaten run beating fellow managers MAtt(Mackems), Niall(brum) & Joe(Baggies) with a memorable victory over Chelsea at Stamford bridge and a respectable draw at Old Trafford against the Scummers.

So sitting in 6th place getting a major nosebleed I can safely say I have surpassed all expectations by the board and fans, if I can keep up this form , you may well be seeing Charlton in the Euros. Well I can dream can't I!!!!

Anyway top Goal scorer is my young diamond Sergie Kisliy bagging 12 in 15, Bent grabbing 5 and Huntelaar scoring 5 and getting 4 assists. Highest rated player is Jerome Thomas on 7.69 1 goal, 3 assists and 2 MOM awards. So onto 2006 with great excitement, Lets jsut hope we can continue in the vien we have started, I know all the other EPL Managers hope I finish with a Euro spot Anyway heard of a player out in Russia thats worth a look, so Moscow........

[Dimony]

Is the fairytale really over?

We started off by getting thrashed by Wigan and then Arsenal, so I decided I was having no more of that bullsh*t and changed to a 4-4-2 formation. This, I knew, would work because I have a good number of solid wingers and Tainio is as good in Midfield's central roles as he is as an anchorman.

January 1st finally arrived and Viduka, Halit and Juan (a youngster I bought for £300K from Monaco) walked through the doors of the Stadium of Light. The tactics paid off in our first game of 2007, a 3-2 win over Blackburn Rovers. Viduka hit a penalty and Halit came on for the injured Julio Arca to set up Lawrence's belter.

Next we went to Leeds United in the Carling Cup and took a quickfire 3-0 lead before half time, Caldwell picked up a red card and we were down to 10 men. Leeds came out all guns blazing and despite all my attempts to quell them, they pulled three back, but inspired substitute Viduka hit the winner in the dying seconds, a 4-3 Mackems win.

I signed Zuiverloon, our on-loan centre back, from Feyenoord for £1.5 million, meaning I've spent £10,000,000 this season, smashing our record for a season. I sent Jay Bothroyd to Rangers for £650,000, a good profit considering that I finally realized why Dave wanted to see the back of him.

Hotchkiss, a Leeds youngster who impressed me during the cup match, and Portuguese midfielder Sousa will be coming in the summer to shore the ranks. Next up was Manchester United at Old Trafford, the Semi Final of the Carling Cup's first leg.

We went in and got thrown all over the place, 3-0 down at half time and fast sinking without a trace, but after half time Stead rallied the troops and smacked two goals in from perfect crosses. The fairytale will still take a lot of luck to finish though, after Stead was all but ruled out of the return leg in a fortnight with a twisted ankle.

[Joe...]

Luckless

'The West Brom supporters are satisfied with your performance in the league' - That's what the boss likes to hear, but luck hasn't been on his side much this season.

Fellow strugglers 'Boro travelled to the Hawthorns and despite West Brom's flowing play and a lot of good chances being created, they couldn't score, and were punished for it. 'Boro scored late on. 0-1

Next was a predictably tough match against fellow EPL manager Dave Williams and his impressive Charlton squad. In a close fought game that really could have gone either way, Dave pulled through, 2-1 and let out his trademark 'GOOOOAAALLLLLL' as the winner went in.

2nd place Manchester City at home next and in the first half they really didn't do us any favours. We went in at half time, 2-0 down, and outplayed. After some tactical tweaks at Half-Time, West Brom came out with nothing to lose and started playing some great football. They got a goal back early on courtesy of Geoff 'Grandad' Horsfield and dominated the Second-Half. But, as usual, the goal didn't come and we were hit on the counter attack to make it 3-1 City.

Liverpool at home were our next opponents and having came close to beating them in the FA Cup, Joe fancied his chances with this one. Again, West Brom matched their opponents all over the field but still lost 1-0 to a speculative goal earloy on from Cisse.

Steve's Fulham side were next in a match Joe really thought he could win. And he came very close. End-to-end football for much of the matchand several good chances for both teams were created but for much of the game the score was 1-1. What happened next really depicts West Brom's season so far. 87th minute, defensive blunder of the highest quality, Joe breaks down on the touchline, Steve's Fulham side win, 1-2.

Dean Ashton Arrives

The managers record signing arrived today from Norwich. That is of course, Dean Ashton. £7.25 million he cost, but worth every penny, and seems to be making a difference already.

Ashton's first game was against high-flying Newcastle. Joe used a more attacking formation and was punished for it early on. But the second half showed promising signs for the team. Ashton picked up the ball just inside the opposition half, ran at 3 defenders, Shay Given ran out to him, and Ashton cooly slipped it to the side to Nathan Ellington who calmly slotted it home. A deserved 1-1 and Ashton's presence was very much felt.

League Cup 3rd Round -Southend Vs West Brom

Could this be the game that gives Joe his first win? The fans certainly think so as they chanted

"Win or we'll sack ya, sack ya, sack ya, sack ya"

Shortly followed by:

"We love you Joe, and if it's quite alright, we love you Joe"

Honest, they were the chants.

And despite a weakened squad with many being rested and the West Brom keeper getting injured on 32 minutes and Joe having to put a midfielder in goal, the team still won! And convincingly.

Dean Ashton scored 2 in the first half before being taken off, just as a precaution. The midfielders dominated the game and added 2 more goals for the team. Southend's Freddy Eastwood got a conselation goal late on but it wasn't enough. 1-4 West Brom. Looks good doesn't it. Dont see it often enough, but we will.

So Dean Ashton is still unbeaten with a draw at Newcastle and a win in the cup and has scored 2 goals in 2 games with 1 assist. MAgical stuff from the youngster and the press are starting to see why Joe splashed the cash.

Still rooted to the bottom of the table but things are looking good. Diomansy Kamara returned from a long injury in the Southend match and played brilliantly.

"We love you Joe, and if its quite alright, we love you Joe"

.

[Dunga99]

Mid season report

Well it’s early January and West Ham are currently 5th in the Championship finally found a little bit of form. Manager Danny King is reasonably happy with the way his side is playing but there’s also room for improvement.

Our main problem seem to be killing of a game when we are winning 1-0 in the second half as our defence is prone to the odd mistake that lets the opposition back into the game.

West Ham current form player Anton Ferdinand has just given an interview to West Ham fans magazine.

Hi Anton, you've just signed thousands of autographs: when was the last time you worked your right hand so hard?

[sniggers amiably]

Moving on then, how do you find life in the Championship?

I'm enjoying it very much. It's my type of football really, more of a thinking game than physical.

You and Nicolas Godemeche have developed a fine understanding...

We're doing all right, playing all right together. We work hard on the training pitch together so that's the reason our understanding is so good.

Which striker has given you the toughest time so far?

[immediately] Defoe and Nonda. They were a really good pair to play against. They work very well together, great movement and understanding. I'm looking forward to playing against them again.

What type of player gives you the biggest challenge: big and bulky or small and nippy?

It doesn't matter to me, I like playing against all types of players. The thing about playing against small guys is that the second you touch them, they go down and the referee gives a foul. But that's just the way it is.

How many times a day are you asked about Rio?

[unconvincingly] Nah, I'm used to it. I've grown up with it.

Can you see the pair of you playing alongside each other for England one day?

You never know.

Wouldn't it be nice to be dubbed the new Nevilles?

[Clearly yearning for a change of subject] I hope we would play better than those two numptys .

And your favourite TV show

[With broad smile] Watching they Think its all over with my manager Danny King on there. He is a very funny guy

Finally, can you tell us a joke?

If you're being chased by the Charlton manager Dave Williams, how do you make him stop?

Go on then.

Drop a sandwich, because then he has a decision to make!

Thanks for taking the time to talk, Anton.

No problem,

Of course being January there was a few deals done by the wheeler and dealer of the clan.

Players In…

Lucas Biglia from Argentinos for 1.3 Million.

I signed Lucas in the first day of playing Football Manager but due to a loan deal I had to wait 18 months for him to finally come and guess what as soon as he picks up his signing fee and first week wages he buggers off and plays some international games. Lucas currently plays a DMC role but I’m hoping with retraining I can turn him into more of an attacking player and his stats prove he could do a job there.

Hosain Kaebi from Foulad for 1.3 Million.

I have been looking for another right sided option since I brought that donkey Johnson to the club. Already has 50 odd caps for his country (Iran) and can play either in defence or on the wing.

David Dunn from Birmingham for 1.3 Million.

When I was Birmingham manager in FM05 David was one of my best players until I sold him to Liverpool for 7 million. Hoping he can rediscover that form and stay free of injury.

Zexh Rehman and Borgetti from Bolton for Part/Ex..

A secret meeting with fellow manager Marc Debieux on the M25 brought about this deal which saw two Bolton players and a 1 million lump sum come to the hammers. With Holm of form since his transfer request and Vitti still finding his feet in English football another striker was needed to boast the goal count. Rehman has been one of Marc best performers and I almost bit his hand off when he was put on the table as part of the deal.

Players Out…

Paul Konchesky to Newcastle for 2.5 Million.

Paul was never forgiven for that early red card against Aston Villa which led to the defeat that sent us down. Since the Owen sale to Chelsea Newcastle have been splashing the cash on new players so maybe I could have got more out of them but in the end it was a good deal for both sides.

Gavin Williams to Crewe for 500k.

Gavin never got near the first time so when an offer came in from Crewe I was more than happy to accept there bid to raise a few more pounds.

Pablo Barrientos to Bolton for Part/Ex plus 1 Million.

Pablo was one of the clubs prize assets but needs must. Would have loved to keep him but the deal from fellow manager Marc Debieux was to good to turn down.

Hammers give Blackburn one hell of a beating in the FA Cup...........

Yes today in the FA Cup 3rd round West Ham gave the Goats old team the beating of there lives with a stunning 3-0 victory . West Ham boss Danny King paid tribute to the magic of cup football after watching his side bush aside Blackburn Rovers.

King said:

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">What an unbelievable result for us and a team that was brought mainly by there old manager Mr. Nilsen That is what the British game is all about. Believe me when I saw we could have scored another 4 as we hit the post twice and cross bar once and Blackburn only had one shot on target all game. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Blackburn chairman John Williams has admitted he felt "humiliated" after seeing Andy former side beaten by the hammers in the FA Cup . Williams will make no comment on Andy buys for the club but did say after we backed our manager all the way with the tune of 30 million pounds we are deeply disappointed he packed his bags and left us high and dry. I’m not blaming the new manager for this defeat because some of the players at his are simply not good enough .

The Blackburn supremo could not disguise his unhappiness at the way Blackburn capitulated in a competition they had high hopes of doing well in this season. The way we played left me feeling humiliated and embarrassed. I had a lousy journey on the way home. The supporters are down and understandably so. But they are not the only ones feeling as sick as dogs. No-one feels as sick as I do now

More to follow soon

[wi11iams]

i dont eat sandwiches I eat beachwiches... thank you.....Im here all night.

[wi11iams]

anybody notice the EPL website league table slacker Naill hasn't been updated since matchday 9. hmmmmmmm cmon Niall, sort it out, your not top of the Human Managers anymore

[Dunga99]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by wi11iams:

i dont eat sandwiches I eat beachwiches... thank you.....Im here all night. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Sorry mate my mistake

[wi11iams]

Snack Time

Dunga Time

[Dunga99]

LOL

[Debtu]

Bolton wont go down with the Christmas lights.

Bolton faced a difficult xmas period having to play Newcastle, Villa and Wigan all in a short space of time.

The size of the squad was called into question with some of the older legs struggling to finish match’s, but Bolton are made of sterner stuff since Marc Debieux’s arrival, Bolton took an early lead against Newcastle with Fernades scoring a screamer but after Reid equalised for Newcastle Bolton were lucky to hold out for a draw, next up Villa with Bolton taking an early two goal lead, Fernades again making the score sheet and pushing for a regular starting spot, but in the second half exhaustion took its toll and Villa were good enough to justify the final 2-2 score line, then in the new year Bens Wigan were in town on a good run of form and full of confidence, Bolton were awesome in the first half with Campo and JJ giving debtu’s men a deserved two goal lead but the dreaded energy zapping second half again failed to deliver the class of the first allowing Wigan to pull one back, thankfully the boys had enough in the tank to see Bolton taking all three points.

Marc Debieux had this to say after the game

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content"> I’m pleased to get xmas out of the way, the squads to small for this amount of games in such a short space of time, I’m delighted to beat Ben and remain unbeaten against my fellow human managers, bring on Pagi and Dunga.

</div></BLOCKQUOTE>

January transfers.

January transfers.

I’m not a big believer in too much activity at this time of year, with Nolan returning after 3 months out and Vaz tee’s loan ending soon I recon we only need a couple of players to increase the squad size.

On the way back from the Villa game I stopped of in a little greasy spoon I know on the M25 were I bumped into my old mate Dunga, after a coffee and several sticky buns we started talking shop, Dunga was prepared to let Barrientos go and I new I had to cut a deal before he went public, but with little money (1.3M) in the bank I was at Dunga’s mercy for player exchange.

He demanded my top goal scorer Borghetti who I felt I could replace, but when he insisted on Zesh Raman as well I started to panic as he had been my best defender to date, it cost me 1m pounds on top to sugar coat the deal, Barrienos is quality and I’m sure he will be worth every penny in a few years.

[BelfastNiall]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by wi11iams:

anybody notice the EPL website league table slacker Naill hasn't been updated since matchday 9. hmmmmmmm cmon Niall, sort it out, your not top of the Human Managers anymore </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

What's that Williams?

[BelfastNiall]

You just can't keep a top boss down for too long

After a pretty poor run of form Birmingham are back on top of the human form table and sitting one match away from a second consecutive appearance in the Carling Cup Final. Not all bad then down at St Andrew's as Murphy dips into the transfer market in the January sales.

Murphy lands Dagoberto from Chelsea

Amazingly Dagoberto only featured twice for Chelsea after completing a £7.25m move to Stamford Bridge last season. With the star striker transfer listed, Murphy moved quickly by paying an initial £925K, with future add ons totalling £5m for the 23 year old Brazilian star. A great signing as Birmingham's team slowly builds itself into a potentially top class outfit.

Carling Cup QF

Birmingham 3 - 1 Newcastle

The Geordies continue to be trophyless after a Forssell hat trick blasts Murphy's lads into the semi finals

Carling Cup SF

Birmingham 1 - 1 Q.P.R.

Poor result against QPR as the Championship outfit grab a late equaliser to tie the game. Still confident of winning the second leg at Loftus Road.

Premiership & FA Cup

Some good results in here, a 1-1 with Newcastle followed by a 1-0 win over rivals Aston Villa. We then suffered an unfortunate reverse at Wigan before beating champions Arsenal 2-1. Was delighted with this result as Arsenal played us off the park for 70 minutes until a tactical tweak saw us score 2 quick goals to win the game. We then slaughtered Peterboro 5-0 in the 3rd Round of the FA Cup but unfortunately now have to go to Villa Park in the tie of the Round - a tough game in prospect.

Players Out

David Dunn - £1.3m to West Ham

Dunn would be a great player if he was ever fit. Injury prone and lacking in stamina, we were never going to consistently see Dunn in a Birmingham shirt, so as with a number of my rejects, I sent him packing to a desperate Danny King at West Ham.

Nazqui Kuqi - £1.6m & 10% to Newcastle

Kuqi is a good player but with the addition of Dagoberto and heskey returning to fitness he was surplus to requirements.

I'm expecting a good run in the second half of the season and for Birmingham to close in on Dave Williams' Charlton, before inevitably ending the season as best human club. Dave Williams is a fragile soul, he will crack under the pressure and we all know he can't handle it at all....

All the stats and stuff

[Dunga99]

wonder why the form table has been added to the website when it wasn't before

[wi11iams]

Bloody powers gone to his head hasn't it!!! All this denile is not good for the soiul my friend.

[wi11iams]

or the soul even

[David Pagi]

Beautifulllllllll !

Spurs have a new board of directors and 12.5m is being available for transfers

Spurs are on their way back to the Prem if current form is anything to go by. The defence is comfortably the best in the division and the undoubted attacking quality is causing major headaches to the rest of the Championship. Although attacking is one area I will have to work on as there is a distinctive lack of regular goal-scorers. The strikers score on a consistent basis but the midfield and defence don't grab their fair share. Although Andy Reid's recent introduction into the first team has added a much needed goal threat from midfield as his trademark long rangers have been flying in with a hat trick of 25+ yard strikes (A) Luton to win 3-0 and goals (h) Watford in a 2-1 win and (A) Ipswich. Was about to sell him aswell .

Recent Results

(h) Norwich 0-0 (did thrash them the other 2 games b4 the TWO! crashes )

(a) Halifax (FA Cup) 1-1 To be fair ressies played and I killed them, then they got a lucky goal. This game signaled Jenas and Carrick's final games for the club as they are both on their way to the Toon for a combined 8m. I'll have them in the replay!

(a) Crewe won 2-0 Defoe and Nonda 35 yarder after williams was stranded in no man's land

(h) Cardiff won 2-0 Defoe and YTS player Maghoma (making his first start in a Spur's shirt) crossed from the rb position for Nonda to smash home.

(h) Coventry won 2-0 Keane and Nonda

(h) Leicester won 3-0 Teddy and Defoe x2 This match was a joy to watch as all 3 goals materialised after great interchanging from old man Teddy 40 and Defoe. Sexy!

GOING UP! GOING UP! GOING UP!

[Dunga99]

I must be dreaming

[STFC will rule again]

miracle's do happen

[BelfastNiall]

Breaking News

Murphy walks out on Birmingham.

Sky Sports News sensationally announces that young Irish manager Niall Murphy has today sensationally quit the midlands club with immediate effect. Rumours are abound as to the reasons for Murphy's sudden departure as the side had won their last 3 league games on the trot, were in the semi finals of the Carling Cup and sitting in 5th place in the Premiership...

As of yet it is unknown as to whether Murphy has gone to Aston Villa or Liverpool and we await to see where the mecurial boss turns up next!!

[Dimony]

Troubled Times Lie Ahead

We opened up with yet another striker injury, this time Chris Brown will be out for a month, so that leaves us with Viduka, Kyle and Kuqi available, not bad strikers but having seen our next few games, maybe not good enough.

A trip down to the South coast to play Southampton was in order, we won 1-0 with the scorer, Viduka, also having another disallowed. Matteo went off at 84 minutes and was yet another month long injury to add to my worries. Our second game was a 1-1 draw with Crystal Palace in a game that we truly dominated and should not have been able to lose.

We were unfortunate enough to go out of both cups within a week of each other, the Manchester United game was a tight affair, with a last-gasp Van Nistelrooy equalizer making it 2-2 on the night, and Man United cruised to the final, 5-4 on aggregate. Arsenal never really let us get going in the FA Cup and walked us 4-1 at the Emirates Stadium.

We lost to Man United in the league, 1-0, could this be the start of a bad run after selling prospect Dennehy to Blackburn for £800,000 and 50% of next sale? I am targetting a couple of players but they won't be coming in until summer now.

We currently sit in safe 13th place in the table but with games against Everton, Middlesbrough and Chelsea coming up, we're looking like we've ridden our easy ride and now will have to rely on some brilliant play and a slice of luck here and there to stay in the mid table.

[wi11iams]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by BelfastNiall:

Breaking News

Murphy walks out on Birmingham.

Sky Sports News sensationally announces that young Irish manager Niall Murphy has today sensationally quit the midlands club with immediate effect. Rumours are abound as to the reasons for Murphy's sudden departure as the side had won their last 3 league games on the trot, were in the semi finals of the Carling Cup and sitting in 5th place in the Premiership...

As of yet it is unknown as to whether Murphy has gone to Aston Villa or Liverpool and we await to see where the mecurial boss turns up next!! </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Ye, I wonder

[keedo666]

boooooo/general malicious secretarian jeering

[BelfastNiall]

Murphy the new man at Liverpool

Liverpool F.C. today announced former Birmingham manager Niall Murphy is to succeed Rafael Benitez as manager of the Merseyside giants. Murphy, who had been at Birmingham for one and a half seasons and was on the verge of his second trip to Wembley with the midlands outfit, was said to be "ecstatic" at being granted the opportunity to manage one of England leading sides.

Rumours are widespread that the former European Champions have handed Murphy a war chest of £42m pounds and instructions to revamp the squad. Liverpool currently languish in 7th place in the Premiership but are well off the pace of league leaders Arsenal. Liverpool have managed to qualify through to the Knockout Round of the Champions League and face exciting French outfit Lyon in the first knock out Round in February a competition Murphy is said to be looking forward to competing in.

We managed to catch up with the Irishman who gave us his first official interview since being appointed at Anfield. The interview was conducted by Rick Boult, the "legendary tea boy" of EPL and currently slumming it as a runner boy in a Halifax newspaper office....

So Niall, how come you've ended up here at Liverpool then?

Oh two sugars there please Rick, I like it nice and sweet....Well I was as shocked as everyone else when Liverpool parted company with Benitez and Rafa went back to his spiritual home of Valencia. When the job first became available I wasn't overly tempted to apply as I saw my future at Birmingham, but once I saw what I can only describe as the sheer desperation of Charlton boss Dave Williams to get the job and as word filtered through on the grapevine that Liverpool would welcome an application from myself, I sent in the old CV, you know...we took it from there Rick, thanks for the cuppa...

So then what happened?

Well amazingly Rick, I turned up for the interview and to my surprise Dave Williams was just leaving. I couldn't believe it, there I was turned out in my best suit and looking pretty sharp whereas Williams looked like he had just rolled out of bed for the interview. He was wearing his scruffy brown cords, pink tee-shirt and his Jesus Sandals. I mean he was even puffing on a few rollies. I thought, he has no chance, the jobs as good as mine!!

At the interview I outlined my intention to bring Liverpool back to the glory days of the 1980s and as Mr Parry was a huge fan of that decade he pulled out the contract right away. Of course first we watched a few episodes of the A-Team. And yes, I kept my DVD of Michael Thomas bursting through in "it's up for grabs now" style in the last minute of the 1989 football season in my pocket!!

The sweetener of £42m to spend had nothing to do with it at all. I refute that Rick, now pass me a Rich Tea.

Of course the fans at Birmingham are distraught to see you go so soon

That's very true Rick and I have to say thanks to the Birmingham fans for their support when I was at the club but I've left them a fantastic team and I hope the new boss Laudrup has success there. They have players there such as Ledley "Better than Danny" King, Daniel "Bon Bon" Bonera, "Deadly" Dagoberto, Mikael "Muller" Forssell, Tobias "Happy" Hysen and Dario "Samba" Silva who are world class and players Birmingham fans used to dream about before I arrived at the club. They are 5th in the table. I took them far. Now is my chance to earn success with Liverpool. Times change in football...

Sure Niall, so any early impressions of the Liverpool team

Yeah I have some work to do here cos everyone knows that I like my 4-4-2 formations and unfortunately Liverpool are a little light on the right side at the minute with Garcia and Josemi. That's poor and I'll be looking to improve this side of the team. Also the defence can be a little suspect and Sammy Hyppia can't go on forever and has the pace of a snail. I'll be looking to inject some more pace into the back line. Also we're short up front, well, ha, apart from Peter Crouch - with Cisse my only other striker.

On the positives though we do have some talent here. I'm particularly looking forward to working with Jamie Carragher, Xavi Alonso, Stevie G, Cisse and Mohammed Sissoko.

Any words for the Liverpool supporters

I'd just like to say to the Liverpool fans that if they give me the time to introduce my own playing style to the side then we will go right to the top. I'm here, not just until the Arsenal job comes up as some have stated, to win trophies and to build a team that will dominate for 5 - 10 years. I want to make Liverpool the most feared side in the land and from day one I'll be trying to identify the right players to enable us to do that.

Patience is required from the fans but we can get there. After all, who is currently challenging us? Who will step up to the plate to challenge us? Where are Pagi and King? Still in the Championship that's where...Williams is cracking down at Charlton and Diprose looks to be heading down the league as well. Andy Nilsen couldn't hack it at Blackburn. The time is right to build a lasting legacy here, and we're going to strike while the iron is hot....

Thanks Niall, oh and can I have your autograph

No problem Rick, that's what legends do for their fans!

And at that Murphy took himself off to the training ground as he follows in the footsteps of legends such as Shankly, Paisley and er, Houllier. Is a new Liverpool legend about to emerge? Time will tell....

[BelfastNiall]

Murphy's first moves made in the market

With only 4 or 5 days remaining of the January transfer window when I took over Liverpool there was only time for the very briefest of assessments of the squad before deciding where the current side was short. Liverpool were 7th in the league and the first blow to the new boss was the fact that Benitez had offloaded Morientes before I joined the club, the man who had mercilessly killed my Birmingham side with 5 goals only the season before. Also missing from the squad was Steve Finnan leaving me with very little option but to play Josemi at right back for the remainder of the season. With only Cisse and Crouch as recognised strikers and with only really Carragher and Hyppia as recognised central defenders, Murphy went straight to the market. His mission was clear. A new striker and defender were on the shopping list and the only stipulation was the words world class....

Players in:

Lucas Podolski - Striker/Att Midfielder FC Koln £25m

Murphy's first signing is the German striker Podolski who cost me an arm and a leg at £25m, of which 22m was to be paid up front. Podolski is only 21, already world class and crucially for my 4-4-1-1 line up, can also play in the hole just behind Djibril Cisse. With pace, creativity, composure and finishing of the highest order, Podolski should become one of the Premierships deadly strikers.

Vincent Kompany - Central Defence - Anderlecht £14m

After trying to tempt new Birmingham boss Michael Laudrup with £18m to release Ledley King to Liverpool and being foiled, Murphy turned his attention to Belgian defender Kompany. Kompany also cost the proverbial arm and leg at £14m but at the young age of 21 should be the bedrock of the Liverpool defence for the next decade.

Andreas Isaksson - Goalkeeper - Rennes £4m

Despite looking well covered in nets with Reina, Carson and Dudek still at the club, Isaksson looks to have outstanding ability even if my assistant manager wasn't that impressed. Therefore, the Swedish international at 24 years old is snapped up and will battle Reina for the number one spot.

Managed to play two games as Liverpool boss last night and unfortunately my start was dodgy to say the least. First up with a 4th Round home tie against Preston North End in the FA Cup. Despite having to field a weakened side and not having time to impose any ideas on the Liverpool squad, what can only be referred to as Bentiez's team lost 2-0 to Preston who fully deserved to win the match.

Next up was Newcastle United at St James' Park. Newcastle have replaced Owen with an amazing striker from Spain, whose name I forget atm, who had good games against me at Birmingham. Unfortunately he had another cracker here as Newcastle won 3-2 despite Kompany making his debut for the club in defence. In the second half and already two down, I brought on Podolski to partner Cisse to immediate effect. With Gerrard moved back into midfield, Liverpool began to look a much more dangerous side and gave the manager much optimism for the future. Two great goals from Cisse - absolute rockets brought us back into the game - but a 3rd from Newcastle gave the Geordies the points. A poor display at the back here and already Murphy is questioning the ability of Jose Reina and Josemi...The two Spaniards could be next in Murphy's cull of the side...

to be continued...

[sdiprose]

Diprose and Fulham begin to find their feet...

A hectic Christmas period saw a mixed bag for the Cottagers, before an encouraging end to January...

9th December 2006, 15:00

Sunderland 1 - 1 Fulham

Matteo 90 Torghelle 9

Pennant sent off 38

This was a game we dominated, even after Pennant's sending off. Sunderland, with manager Doughty absent, were hapless in attack, and we were quite frankly robbed when Matteo popped up in stoppage time. Still, one point is better than none, and I had none so far...

16th December 2006, 15:00

Fulham 0 - 2 Birmingham

Forssell 4

Dunn 26

Never really stood a chance against Birmingham today, even with their recent bad run. We were against the wall from the off, and the defence was not awake for either goal, despite Dunn's being a cracker of sorts. I told the team I was unhappy at the interval, and they came out and played well in the second half, threatening but the absence of John meant we never had the killer instinct that we required.

23rd December 2006, 15:00

Bolton 3 - 2 Fulham

Diouf 45 Hasselbaink 34, 89

Bowyer 56

Okocha 65

Took a deserved lead, and Bolton got a lucky equaliser on the stroke of half time. Marc had earlier said,

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">We're lucky and are a second-half team. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

and he definitely proved it, with Bowyer and Okocha adding well-taken, yet lucky, opportunities. The last 15 minutes were hectic, Hasselbaink pulling one back in the 89th, but Bolton managed to cling on to their slender advantage. The team is doing OK, but we need to start picking up points.

26th December 2006, 15:00

Leeds 2 - 0 Fulham

Delgado 26, 78

There must have been a lot of alcohol consumed yesterday, judging by how hungover we looked today. A bad performance, and a bloody awful Christmas present from the lads... it was late, too, you useless sods!

30th December 2006, 15:00

Fulham 5 - 2 West Brom

Dacourt 7 Johansen 34

Reo-Coker 33, 51 Horsfield 79

Clement o.g. 36

Absalonsen 48

Ellington m/pen 47

What a classic game this was. Amazing. Start as you mean to go on, I told Dacourt, who scored in the seventh minute, and bossed the midfield. WBA came back, but Espen Johnsen in goal had formed a human wall with the help of Faty and Goma, blocking everything off the line. The WBA players then decided to have a meeting in the middle of the pitch, to discuss how they could **** off Joe even further, and Reo-Coker threaded through them and netted. This put the boot up the arses of the WBA players, with Johansen replying immediately, but then they reverted back to an old stance, and Clement put the ball into his own net. At half-time, Joe must have had strong words, for his side came out with all guns blazing, and within minutes Faty had given away a penalty. But Johnsen miraculously saved Ellington's penalty, and Absalonsen ran up the other end on the counter and put it away. The rout was over. However, on 75 minutes, Joe introduced the pensioner Horsfield, who netter straight away and proved to have more energy than the rest of the team put together, despite being older than the rest of the team put together. However, that and pulling one goal back were the only mircales he was performing today; a great victory for Fulham... and then I woke up. Screaming.

Fulham 2 - 1 West Brom

Stoica 75 Horsfield 86

Absalonsen 88

An end-to-end game, full of quality, but the defences did their job and kept the scoreline respectable. Stoica rewarded Fulham on 75 minutes after a good spell, but the introduction of the Horse terrified my team, his old-age energy made him zoom around the pitch on his zimmerframe, and he equalised. In doing so, the West Brom team became elated, and lost all concentration, a defensive cockup resulting in Absalonsen grabbing the winner seconds later, with seconds to go. A well fought battle, but the points should have been shared. That's life, sorry, Joe.

1st January 2007, 15:00

Charlton 3 - 0 Fulham

A draw would have been a fairer result; Kisliy was kept out of the defence, and it was fortunate for Williams that Wilhelmsson made the breakthrough before half time. Fulham came out for the second half fired up, and rained down attacks on Kiely's goal, but he was on great form, doing everything asked of him, and a bit more. We were punished at the end, in our desperation to equalise; Charlton broke twice and scored both chances, leaving the scorline and unfair reflection on the match itself.

The players now seem knackered; more depth is needed now the transfer window has opened.

6th January 2007, 15:00; FA Cup 3rd Round

Fulham 4 - 2 Millwall

Torghelle 7, 9, 33, 41

Mellor 27, 62

Few players were rested, even though they needed it; a morale boost was in order against Championship side Millwall. It didn't take long, and Sandor Torghelle provided the thrills. My knackered defence held up well, despite letting in two goals; these were Millwall's only real chances.

Following this match, Chairman Al Fayed informed me that he was going to stop acting like a ducks arse for the month, and let me sign an expensive player to raise the club's profile. I had just confirmed several Bosmans, and had no real need for any more players, but I went searching in order to keep the peace. Striker Sasha Iakovenko, defensive mid Custodio and Luis Ignacio Quinteros were top of my list, but Iakovenko accepted a last minute offer from Zaragoza, Quinteros had his work permit rejected twice, and Custodio would not be sold, so I ended up without a big name, and Al Fayed got ****ed off, leaving my position as manager at the Cottage on the line...

13th January 2007, 15:00

Fulham 3 - 1 Manchester City

Absalonsen 20 Semler 35

Dacourt 48

Torghelle 63

Bautista sent off 45

A cracking match at the Cottage against high flyers Man City started a little late due to some gimpish fans running around like men possessed. I was expecting the worst against the team third in the league, but they were surprisingly lacklustre and, as soon as Bautista was given his marching orders, I knew we had the win. Special mention has to go to Olivier Dacourt, who dominated the game, and got himself on the scoresheet from an impossible angle; he was given a rating of 10, but he truly deserved an 11 at least. An awesome display.

20th January 2007, 15:00

Liverpool 1 - 2 Fulham

Zenden 86 Gonzalez pen. 44

Hyypia o.g. 74

Cissé m/pen. 21

Reina s.o. 43

The Fulham fans knew it was their day as soon as Cissé missed his first half penalty; their luck was in. They enjoyed the match, laughing at Cissé every time he got the ball, and then laughed even harder as Reina took down Torghelle in the area, being sent off for his efforts. Gonzalez showed Cissé how to do it, slotting home with ease. The second goal came from a goalmouth scramble, with Torghelle, Absalonsen and Pennant all managing to hit the ball straight at replacement keeper Carson, before Hyypia showed the three of them how it was done, blasting the ball past a stranded Carson. Ha.

Zenden pulled a lucky one back at the death, but Fulham were never really troubled, deserved their victory, and are moving up the table.

27th January 2007, 15:00; FA Cup 4th Round

Cardiff 5 - 2 Fulham

Jansen 4, 21, 31 John 25

Ledley 8 Hasselbaink 65

Djorkaeff 24

The only good thing to come out of this game was that John has returned, and marked the return from this 3 month layoff with a goal. The defence was nowhere, Johnsen was flapping, despite proving himself to be a top-drawer keeper in the league of late, and Cardiff, despite having fewer shots and less possession, deserved their win. I apologise to the fans for the early exit from the cup, there is no excuse.

31st January 2007, 19:45

Fulham 0 - 0 Middlesbrough

Steven Diprose was unavailable for interview after this match, as he had fallen asleep because it was so unbelievably boring. Ass Man Steve Kean had a word with the media:

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">We played well, but with several key players rested due to exhaustion from the busy schedule of late, there was no creativity and no finishing power. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

So, at the end of January, some wheeling and dealing has been done, although not as much as I had hoped.

Players in:

Andrés Felipe Gonzalez is a good central defender, signed by previous manager Mark D'Ardenne. At first, I thought his £3m price tag was a bit hefty, but he proved his worth against Liverpool and Man City.

Amit Ben-Shoshan is a young striker, signed from B. Jerusalem for a paltry £18k. He has a top-drawer finish on him, and I am hoping that he will develop well over the next few seasons.

Dwight Tiendalli is a young and talented full back, signed for an overall fee of £1.1m to give regular RB Moritz Volz some competition and to add some depth to the team.

Jay Simpson is an ex-Arsenal attacking midfielder with huge potential, signed for £30k from Worcester. I believe that, given some decent training, years and matches, he will develop into one of England's finest.

______

Javier Portillo signed a contract to join Fulham in July 2007, from Real Madrid, where he is unhappy at a lack of fist-team opportunities. He is a real coup, as his wages could not be matched by my stingy board, but still put pen to paper and I am delighted to confirm him. This signing all but ensures that Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink will be leaving the club at the end of the season, as he is refusing to sign a new contract. So stuff him.

Sergio Aguero will also join the club on a free in the summer, after falling out with current clup Independiente. At just 18 he is already a reat player and, once he matures, will be a huge influence to the team. Delighted to capture his signature after a long delay in communication from my board to his.

Paolo Cannavaro, brother of legendary Fabio, was signed by previous manager D'Ardenne for £1m and will also arrive in July. However, with Faty emerging as a great DC, and the arrival of Gonzalez, it is not yet sure whether he will be surplus to requirements at the Cottage.

_____

Other transfer targets included Sasha Iakovenko who apparently is male, even though one may doubt it at first. After having an offer finally accepted, he chose to wait and see others, and instead of coming to Fulham, who were odds-on to secure his signature, went to Zaragoza. Well fine then, you Ukranian ladyboy. Portuguese DM Custodio was another transfer target at Troyes. He looks like a decent player now, and am sure he would develop into a great player in a few years, if only Fulham could come up with the right amount of cash for him. Well-known playmaker Alexander Farnerud, out of contract at the end of the season, is a tit. Despite only Fulham truly making an effort to sign him, he wanted more money than the board would allow me to offer, and snubbed me repeatedly. I won't give up on him just yet, however.

In the summer, the dead wood at Fulham shall be burned away, and I will look into rebuilding the squad, hopefully bringing in some young and fresh blood to prepare for the future. That is, if Al Fayed doesn't have a strop and sack me first. I'd hardly say that Portillo is not a high-profile player, yet that is overlooked.

Hello there, Steve.. how are things?

Good evening. I think things are looking up for the club at the moment. Three games unbeaten in the league, and beating Liverpool, I can't ask too much more from the lads there...

A shock in the cup, though?

Yes, very much so. Credit to Cardiff, they took their chances well, but they should not have had those chances in the first place. I had some stern words for some of the performances.

Anyone in particular?

I don't like naming names, but Denilson and Pennant were not cutting the mustard in that game, and I know for a cert that they can give more than they currently are.

We heard a rumour that Mohammed Al-Fayed is currently unhappy with you?

Yes... he completely overlooked my signing of Javier Portillo, and wanted a high-profile player in. However, with the money NOT available for wages, and limited resources in terms of transfer funds anyway, I was not able to bring in any players of the calibre he wanted during the window.

It's not as though you haven't signed anyone, though...

Indeed. There have been some much-needed additions to the squad, and the excellent recent league from obviously means nothing to the guv'nor. Perhaps he should just carry on pretending to be a ducks arse, and leave the running of the team to me.

Well, Steve, best of luck, and congratualtions on your signings.

Thanks.

[sdiprose]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">We heard a rumour that Mohammed Al-Fayed is currently unhappy with you?

Yes... he completely overlooked my signing of Javier Portillo, and wanted a high-profile player in. However, with the money NOT available for wages, and limited resources in terms of transfer funds anyway, I was not able to bring in any players of the calibre he wanted during the window. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

damn, nearly a perfect post... was bloody long, too - told you it would be bumper

Steve

[Dunga99]

Ah yes, blue socks. Actually no, red ones go better with black strides. Sod the black strides, white makes my wallet look fatter. So now I'll have to wear yellow socks. Wait! Why not go barefoot? Eureka! No. Green thermal woollies it is. That's final. Right then, I'm off. Feck, I forgot me trousers..." There you have it, Niall Murphy in a nutshell

Yes after ONLY 18 months at Birmingham City Niall Murphy has jumped ships and headed into early retirement and the easy life at Liverpool FC. The fiery Irishman left the St Andrews the club announced. The revelation has stunned EPL after last years game when Murphy himself accused many players of no loyalty to there clubs and often commented on this matter.

Rick Boult, 19, a plumber from Birmingham said

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">I’m gutted I feel the club was heading in the right direction but after all his promises of Champions League football he has left us at the first chance. I would have understand if It was Arsenal as I know that’s where his heart truly lays but to me this appointment smells of a manager with no loyalty who wants to buy success. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

So there you have Mr Murphy loyalty -20

Me bitter in the championship??? Never

[David Pagi]

the words pot black and kettle come to mind and the word hypocrite

[BelfastNiall]

Liverpool, la la la

[Dimony]

A surprising few days

It was a sense of De Ja Vu as I saw yet another striker go out with an injury, Mark Viduka out for 2 weeks with a bruised rib. The same man picked up third place in goal of the month for a brilliant long-ranged shot against Southampton. I bought promising Centre Back Aidan Collins from Ipswich Town for £50,000 and he will be coming at the end of the season.

Our first game of the night, Everton, appeared to be yet another embarrassing night when Marcus Bent smacked the ball into the net on thirty seconds, but after an age-long decision making process, the referee disallowed it for being offside. They completely controlled the game but somehow failed to score. 0-0.

Leao was ruled out of our game against Chelsea, but Brown and Matteo came back from long injuries, we lost 3-1 after squandering some great chances, and left feeling bad about the game but good about the performance. Pamarot, in particular, has wormed his way off the transfer list with some great performances of late.

Stead and Arca returned from injury as well, to leave me with pretty much a full team, minus Tainio, but not in a pretty league position, sitting 16th by the end of our break before the North-East derby against Middlesbrough. I set up a deal for Wigan's Kris Commons, paying £500,000 up front and £1,000,000 over the next two years for the talented left winger.

The derby finally came and we got off to a nightmare start, Borough being awarded a penalty on the tenth minute for an idiotic tackle from Zuiverloon and Giannokopolous converting coolly. Borough continued to boss the game until half time, where I used all of my substitutions to get Zuiverloon off for Collins, Viduka off for Kevin Kyle and rush Teemu Tainio back from injury for the underperforming Jimmy Juan. The subs paid off and Kevin Kyle hit his first goal for the club to equalize, then proceeded to make himself a hattrick to celebrate.

Well, Matt, Kevin Kyle must have silenced some critics with that performance!

Kevin Kyle has proven all doubt about his ability to perform under pressure to be wrong. He's not only hit a hattrick, but against a rival team in a six-point battle. The lad's done good.

Is he likely to be lining up for the first team more often?

*chuckles* Let's just say I can't see him sitting out next week. He's done well but we can't get ahead of ourselves, he's a good talent, and proven he's hungry for it, but at this level you have to prove yourself constantly.

Sixteenth place yesterday, things were looking slightly glum for you...

Well, we all knew this season wasn't going to be a walkover, the team's in a big transition, but we're in thirteenth now, so still ahead of expectations.

You purchased a winger, Kris Commons, from Wigan, how is this likely to make Colo Halit feel?

Halit, and all my players, understand the need for competition at this Football Club, we can't operate with a squad that doesn't fight for their places, complacency is something you can't afford in The Premiership.

You picked up Leao, an unknown and unproven goalkeeper, at the start of the season, a big risk, will this help young Collins settle in next season?

Well, it's not a matter of taking a risk so much as a matter of letting a hyped player prove themself in the top league. I've always believed in putting my faith in young players, and I will always give them a chance, just ask young Kyle!

Thanks Matt, have a good rest of the season.

[Dimony]

To clarify, I beat Borough 3-1

[Dunga99]

Crisis hits boiling point at West Ham

West Ham fans' remarkable support in the face of yet another defeat on Saturday to Hull hid the whiff of dissent at a stadium that has known turbulent times .

The 30,000 crowd sang and joked in a bizarre second-half show of support for the club and manager Danny King, but West Ham most influential group of fans is calling for a public debate as promotion hopes fade into the back ground.

Hammers supporters' branch, one the biggest in the country, want King, skipper Danny Murphy and chairman Terence Brown to attend a crisis meeting after what fans' chairman Mo called 'yet another dismal, inept away performance by people pretending to be West Ham footballers. The fans' worst fear, that they will be mathematically unable to win promotion in only a few game time with the way the Hammers are currently playing

West Ham fans that have privately had several weeks to adjust to the idea of not going straight back up into the Premiership.

Mo said last night:

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">'We want high-profile guests from West Ham, to tell us how they are going to take us forward. Our fans are the most patient in the world - you'd have thought we were winning 4-0 against Tottenham not losing. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

We've had a letter from the chairman asking for the meeting to be postponed until next season. The clubs don’t think the time is appropriate, but that's where we differ - the fans think the time is very appropriate.

Talk of winning promotion is pie in the sky and we wanted guests from the club to come and talk to us. They don't talk to the fans on a day-to-day basis, they don't have a grasp of what we want.

We believe we have a right to call this meeting - we want a rallying call from someone at the club telling us how they are laying the foundations for next season. The chairman keeps telling us we're wonderful supporters, now we want him to show it

But West Ham director Mike smalls said:

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Now is not the time to be questioning the players and manager at this kind of forum. Once the season is over, frank discussions can take place. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

King was visibly moved by the fans' reaction, saying: 'I'm a hardened young pro, but I've got to admit I've never seen support like that before. They cheered us all the way through because they realized it wasn't that we were poor but that Hull were a bloody lucky team. There's no other supporters like them in the land.’

Most fans became resigned to hammers not going up weeks ago - we're not good enough - but King has performed miracles for this club, even though he's got his critics. Lots of fans think he can take us back up. Whether he can take us any further, we're not so sure.'

There is even some talk in the football world that King could be close to retiring as he has lost the love for the game and losing week in week out will not be good for the young manager with his quest to give up smoking in the New Year.

More to follow soon