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The toilet seat press conference

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i've been doing this since i started playing CM in the good ol' days.

i tend to 'create' a radio station that is dedicated soley (sic) to my club regardless of their level (appparently there is 1 for Liverpool FC and Basingstoke Town!) and I'm on a weekly talk show discussing the team. On occasion my players also attend and I say their answers too!

God that sounds sad! I'm 27 living with my partner and have a high paying important job (My partner reminds me of this everytime she hears me telling the sink that we plan to keep this winning streak going into the new division!)

Still, as the classic saying goes: THIS IS FOOTBALL MANAGER!!

I create a tv channel for all my teams (even the small ones),,i tend to be on the tv a lot lol. I also imagine the newspaper repoters are talking about me and my team on the skysports programme "the sunday supplement"

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Haha what a classic thread!

I do mine either in the shower, at work when I'm bored or when I'm in bed trying to get to sleep. When your doing it at work it just makes the day go faster! :D

Last night I was having an in-depth interview that was to be published in the match day programme, on the official site and on Reading World!!

Tonight I shall just have an interview with my thoughts on the January transfer window and how I see my side playing in the final and crucial stages of the season :)

Oh dont we all just love it..!? :p

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haha this is brilliant

I hope none of you have stormed out of your own toilet press conference half way through...

Well, there was this one time,...

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My wife is reguarly asking me who i am talking to whilst in the bathroom. I did try to pass it off as next door but after and argument with one of the media (imaginary of course) i think she has found me out.

I wouldnt say this is just rescricted to sitting on the toilet. Its in the car, before i go to sleep, in the shower, having a smoke in the back garden, doing the hoovering, sitting on the train (this one particuarly gets some strange looks) and whilst watching the pots.

Having read this post back i realise i have problems. I will self diagnose as FMaphobia!

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FMaphobia? Surely that would mean you had some sort of morbid fear of being stuck in a room with an FM game box? Now FMitis is a completely different case altogether...

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i have just come back from a holiday in italy and i insisted me and the missus went to val di sangro to watch the footy, and the only reason for that is cos i have been playing as them for 5 seasons!!!

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Now this is a forum i can relate to. Im actually on the toilet now, and i intend to have the press ask me about my recent injury to star striker llorente (im athletic bilbao).

I also have a cousin who is FM mad and we interview each other when he comes over. Ive even stormed out of one of his as he insulted my transfers.

Im thinking of starting a youtube page for us football manager nutcases, with uploads of press conferences, football manager reactions in game.

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also to add i have thrown "journalists" out of press conferences whilst taking a shower after a "heated" discussion which included my girlfriend running in to see who i was shouting at

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When its the cup draws I pretend to be the one doing the draw and I commentate on what teams play each other and try and use all the statistics I know. If I score in the last minute for a big game I tend to get up and run around the room like a mad man too. I used to pretend to do soccer saturday and just watch the latest scores " (me) oh a goal has just come in... and its been scored by Eduardo" etc etc. The press conferences and interviews are regular occurances too.

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LOOOOL I thought i was weird doing press confrences in my head. All my life i suffered from sleeping problems and found doing press conferences in my head or imagining meeting up with the assistant manager to discuss the team cured my sleeping troubles. Only thing is if theres only a few games to go and Im playing for the league, rlegation or something then its even harder to sleep lol.

I also have an alter ego called jeff stelling who reads out scores during games lol

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Yesterday after going to the Mexican restaurant I frequent I had an press conference, meeting with the board and tactical discussions with my ass man while finishing it off with a tactical brainstorming session. Thank god for cheese sauce, three cheese enchiladas and a tamale.

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i always attend the Scotland games and imagine that i'm the studio guest/pundit giving my informed opinion on the match. that's why i get doubly annoyed when the press say i was enjoying a knees up at the FA's expense afterwards - I WAS WORKING, YOU TOOLS!!

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Forgot about this thread, but this post quoted has to be the winner!

"I spat on myself once, when I was managing Fenerbahce and we were away to Galatasaray... made me feel like I was in a cauldron of hate."

Edit - I screwed up the Quote, so had to go manual!

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Hilarious thread.

Sometimes when I score a late winner I imagine Phil Thompson or Charlie Nicholas going nuts in the studio. And do their voice.

lol GOALLLLLLLLLL! Jeff!

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God I love this thread.

It's actually taken me three months to stop crying/ laughing and compose myself enough to think of a comment. I still have a small wet patch from when I read about the guy that put on a suit for Queen's Park in the Scottish Cup Final. Absolutely tremendous. And I will have to start playing the Champions' League music from this moment on. FM addicts/ losers/ lost causes/ geeks/ freaks, I salute every blessed one of you. I cry happy tears at our beloved union.

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Having just taken the job at A.C Milan, been given a transfer budget of over 100 million pounds and spending almost all of it in the first transfer window on Messi, Benzema and Valdes, I must admit I did do a conference in my head and even paraded my new stars around the stadium before unleashing them in our 2-0 win over Inter in the first game in January.:D

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When I was little, I used to sit up in bed at night with my quilt pulled up to my chin like a pitch. I used to use my hands/fingers to make little men to play football on the quilt while I commentated to myself ... If the right winger was running down the wing, I'd have the one hand running down the quilt and the other hand - thumb and forefinger - creating a ball that he was dribbling ...

I still do it now while I'm playing FM on 2D pitch. I didn't need 3D pictures, I can do it myself!

I also once wrote my manager programme notes for the big match at Bramall Lane against Wednesday telling the fans how important they were going to be. Followed by the songs during the game as we won 2-0!

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I also once wrote my manager programme notes for the big match at Bramall Lane against Wednesday telling the fans how important they were going to be. Followed by the songs during the game as we won 2-0!

Sometimes for home games I imagine which player would be on the front of the program.

In my upcoming home fixture against Birmingham it's Davide Santon, who has begun to hit great form in the last few games having only just been given a regularly starting spot.

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its better to remain silent and let them think your an idiot than opening your mouth and removing all doubt..

so i keep it all in my head

but yes :) i go to the toilet even if i dont need it to give my press confrences.

Have seen me commentating in my head aswell.

Football Pundit 09

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With regards to the story about wearing a suit for the CL final, someone I know did two similar things. Since FM allowed you to upload manager photos, he annualy took a photo of himself in a suit to put as his picture. For fm 08/09 thought this wasn't realistic enough and made his girlfriend take a photo of him standing beside a football pitch.

He also referred to his room as the office, conversation would typically go something like this:

"Mate, are you coming to the pub?"

"Sorry, I've got to put some hours in at the office"

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I do like Trapattoni.

I live next to a church, so I get some holy water from there.

Then I do the same moves Trapattoni do, with a little bottle

http://www.repubblica.it/gallerie/online/mondiali2002/traps/index.html

Well, my floor in my room is often wet, but that's not a problem

It works anyhow (of course doesn't happen that I win everything with everyone) but I won a World Cup with Camerun and made some good seasons with Reggina for example.

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Absolutely love this thread, so pleased I'm not the only one!

Have to admit I do commentate on games to myself, do interviews with myself and I also can't help summarising my team's performance as if I was a reporter :D

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I usually internalise a lot of anger about whats happening in the match engine. I've never done a fake press conference.

I have gotten really excited during big matches, the same feeling I get when I watch my team play in real life. Heartbeat at about 160 bpm.

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when one of my players commits a foul, in the gap between the whistle and the card being shown or warning, I imagine what my player says to the referee and what he says after the card.

*whistle goes

"what!? I got the ball, what's wrong with you!?"

*Yellow Card

"yeah , nice one, ...idiot"

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I threw the toilet roll at a member of the press today, for asking about a kiss and tell story a model wrote about me in one of the Sundays. He won't be back in my bathroom

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Did the Suit for Cup Final thing. Did the National Anthems thing. Found an MP3 of 'Abide With Me' for the Cup Final.

Not done the Pre Match meal thing. That's really quite cool :D

My manager photo is also a picture of me, in a suit, standing outside the Home dugout at Hailsham Town's Beaconsfield ground :cool:

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Yeah I missed this too. Almost cost me my job this thread has.

I didn't realise until now but yes I do this almost exclusively in the bathroom and am in fact utterly mental. I do throw the odd fist in glory or anger in front of the screen though and it gets my girlfriend quite wound up.

I have often thought of building on this and once considered setting up a more formal desk scenario in my bedroom or living room, in jest, just for FM time. Now rethinking the idea of getting a name stand thingy for my desk saying '[managers name] - manager' and possibly plaque or engraving for the relevant room.

I would like to know if anyone has considered buying a replica shirt of the seemingly random lower league side they brought into the big time, with your favourite players name + number printed on the back.

Bakircioglu

11

- printed on a Millwall shirt

Or...

Samba

9

printed on a Dorchester kit

Big laughs at the suit! I'd be more of a tracksuit man, with full kit underneath, as though I miss my old playing days. Suits my managerial style as I tend to stand on the proverbial touchline for some of the bigger games.

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I would like to know if anyone has considered buying a replica shirt of the seemingly random lower league side they brought into the big time, with your favourite players name + number printed on the back.

Bakircioglu

11

- printed on a Millwall shirt

Bakicioglü #10 on a Wolves shirt here :cool:

Just too bad that back in the days you couldn't get them as easily as today as otherwise I would own a shirt like that for sure :)

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Not exactly on the toilet seat but yeah, I tend to get carried away at times ;)

Same here.. if I wouldnt get a little carried away sometimes, the game would lose its edge!.. In my younger days I used to slap my monitor on the side if I missed a big chance and then shout out some profanities.. and then finally check the monitor for damages afterwards :D

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Toilet press conferences and self commentating are regular features of my life. After winning the league cup with Swindon I proceeded to sprint down my hallway before sliding on my knees in front of the fans. Terrible carpet burns.

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This is the greatest thread....YES i too have my press conferences on the loo!!

But for me the best thing was when i used to walk the dog I used to imagine a 1 on 1 interview with something like football focus as we're walking my dog discussing my latest signings and plans for the season ahead...those days were bliss :D haha

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im not as hardcore as the masses,i only wear a flatcap whilst playing.sometimes it gets thrown against the wall.aint done a toilet conf for a while as its upstairs....

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It wouldn't be right watching the game without saying "Hart passes to Taylor, who passes to Defour, long shot Defour scores!!!!!!!!!!!" and then putting on a Scottish accent, similar to Andy Gray's giving analysis on the goal.

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I have gotten a few stares from my folks as Welbeck got his #'t hat-trick. I have a tendancy to jump up, throw my arms in the air and yell "YEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSS!!!"

I'm surprised the lamp above the table is still in one piece..

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It wouldn't be right watching the game without saying "Hart passes to Taylor, who passes to Defour, long shot Defour scores!!!!!!!!!!!" and then putting on a Scottish accent, similar to Andy Gray's giving analysis on the goal.

I'm guilty of telling my players to "take a bow son" after great goals.

I've also celebrated a championship win by sliding down the garden. The crowd went wild.

By "crowd" I mean dogs, and by "went wild" I mean "were not impressed."

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Whenever theres a goal in the game I'm playing I have a Gillette Soccer Saturday moment along the lines of "theres been a goal at X Stadium, whos got it? heres Chris Kamara" then give a detailed account of how the goal was scored....rather sad I know lol :D

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I've got tears in my eyes reading this!!

Conversation with one of my daughters:

Me: Get in there!! <punches the air a few times> I knew you'd do well. You've earnt your wages today

Daughter: Its only a game Dad, why do you get so carried away all the time.

Me: Its more than a game son, its football

Daughter: I'm a girl Dad, not a boy

Me: Never mind son, never mind

LOL.

This is a good thread. I remember reading a similar thread a good few years ago where a guy said he would give toilet seat press conferences andalso said that he'd wear a suit if his team reached the cup final.

LMAO...

Reminds me of the guy that wears a helmet to play Forza 3 on his xbox.

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Whenever theres a goal in the game I'm playing I have a Gillette Soccer Saturday moment along the lines of "theres been a goal at X Stadium, whos got it? heres Chris Kamara" then give a detailed account of how the goal was scored....rather sad I know lol :D

I do this all the time, it depends on the goal for me. If it's a stunner or out of the blue I like to imagine Matt Le Tissier going mad with excitement. :D

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I remember reading a similar thread a good few years ago where a guy said he would give toilet seat press conferences andalso said that he'd wear a suit if his team reached the cup final.

It's pretty likely this one ;)

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reading today's 'wear a suit for a final thread' reminded me of more FM madness, thus: epic bump :)

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Ohhh yes! This is me to a tea. The toilet seat and the shower for me.

Also do a lot of Soccer Saturday style presenting during my matches... "And now it's over to the Spencer Stadium - Banbury against Barnsley, there's been a goal - which way Chris Kamara?" "Stunning strike Jeff! Off the underside of the bar!" :o

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Ohhh yes! This is me to a tea. The toilet seat and the shower for me.

Also do a lot of Soccer Saturday style presenting during my matches... "And now it's over to the Spencer Stadium - Banbury against Barnsley, there's been a goal - which way Chris Kamara?" "Stunning strike Jeff! Off the underside of the bar!" :o

Unbelievable Jeff! It seems there are quite a few people in FM land that have questionable levels of sanity.

Don't feel bad at all for wearing the suit now. Can't wait to show the missus this when she gets home!

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Unbelievable Jeff! It seems there are quite a few people in FM land that have questionable levels of sanity.

Don't feel bad at all for wearing the suit now. Can't wait to show the missus this when she gets home!

Ha, in time she'll understand! My missus has gone from raising eyebrows to rolling her eyes - but actually nowadays it's just accepeted as the norm... or abnorm, if you will....

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