brightonrock

Moaners v Fanboys...my 10 pence...

70 posts in this topic

Ok so I've had the game since launch day and although I like it and I'm cracking on through the seasons with a peculiar blend of pent-up frustration, furious anger, joyful delirium and utter disbelief (both positive and negative), there are some general things that a lot of people are complaining about, and I thought I'd give my ten pence on them. The complaints are in varying degrees of hysteria, and I've experienced some, if not all of the problems, and I'm torn between joining forces with the [b]'moaners' demanding answers for the problems[/b], or the [b]'fanboys' denying anything is wrong and SI employees are welcome to a go on their daughter any day[/b]. That said, I think the following could be addressed in the second patch, to make [color=red]a currently very good game (shhhh moaners, it is good) even better (shhhh fanboys, it can be improved)[/color]:

[list]
[*]Despite the [b]transfer[/b] code being re-written (and by and large, it definately is infinitely better than previous versions), the developers got a bit dizzy on [b]helium and blue smarties[/b] when it came to coding Man City, injected them with money and then forgot to inform the poor little Manc data accountant not to spend [b]a quarter of a billion pounds[/b] a season, exclusively on breathtakingly average attacking midfielders.
[*]90% of transfer bids 'become public knowledge'; one can only assume a footballing agent is, contrary to popular belief, not well paid, and [b]most agents moonlight for The Mirror[/b].
[*]All 22 on-pitch players appear to be trying the SoccerAM crossbar challenge with insatiable enthusiasm by [b]shooting from a quarter of a mile away[/b].
[*]Speaking of, [b]the frame of the goal seems to have some kind of magnet in it[/b].
[*]Keepers' agricultural 'through balls' cause [b]Titus Bramble[/b]-esque qualities in the defence who stop and cry whilst the oppo striker walks it in.
[*]9 times out of 10 full backs are [b]beaten like S&M fetishists[/b] by wingers with laughable dribbling stats such as 4.
[*]Your assistant manager grew up next to a farm with three fields and an electric fence, and was presumably subject to a [b]violent mugging[/b] or sexual crime between the fence and the middle field, [b]thus explaining his obsession[/b] with playing a holding midfielder.
[*]Players regularly partake in impromptu mini-games amongst themselves, such as the [b]schoolyard classic 'Arse'[/b] wherby they line up and [b]leather it at each other[/b] from 5 yards away for no discernible reason.
[*]As we all know, [b]Arsenal have won every trophy in every major tournament in every sport in the world[/b], for the last 40 years, and this is reflected in their trophy cabinet after 2 years in-game.
[*]Strikers who don't score [b]a hat-trick[/b] get rated as 5.6.
[*]Strikers in fact are incapable of the proverbial in a brothel, let alone, god forbid, [b]kicking the round thing through the big rectangle[/b].
[*]England win all penalty shootouts. [b]There's no need for a humourous comment here[/b].
[*]Serious injuries ([b]ruptured colon, severed head, shattered pelvis[/b] etc) happen regularly; in many games all 3 subs are made by the 70-minute mark as your assistant manager [b]makes hurried plans to visit your star striker's next of kin[/b].
[*]In fact, most pre-season run-ins are [b]more emotionally expensive than the break-up of a long term relationship[/b], as your team suffers [b]greater losses than the Russian Army, circa 1939-45[/b].
[*]Playing 4411 is [b]so experimental and philosophically world-changing that the fabric of reality is broken[/b] and 13 bearded, be-robed players take to the pitch for a feast of hobbit's bread and virgin's tears whilst daubing themselves with goats blood under two glowing red suns.[/list]

All in all they're minor improvements I think, fairly easily tweaked. Chin up boys and girls whilst the developers [b]sortitoutsi[/b], and in the meantime we can all sleep soundly in the knowledge that [b]its probably your tactics[/b], but more importantly [b]its definately only a game[/b]. :D

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[quote name='brightonrock'][*]Players regularly partake in impromptu mini-games amongst themselves, such as the [b]schoolyard classic 'Arse'[/b] wherby they line up and [b]leather it at each other[/b] from 5 yards away for no discernible reason.

Strikers in fact are incapable of the proverbial in a brothel, let alone, god forbid, [b]kicking the round thing through the big rectangle[/b].[/QUOTE]


My personal favourites :D

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seriously funny,but all too true! great work! do you have a book coming out soon? :D

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Great review, mate. I liked your clever use of irony. ;)

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lmao damn I'm not gonna get rid of a big grin in the face for quite a while now I guess. I really enjoy that kind of sarcasm

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One of the funnier posts I've read on the forums - had quite a chuckle there. Good to know someone on here knows how to make serious points in a light hearted way. Or how to say intelligent things in stupid way.... or how to saying stupid things in an intelligent way....

Good post.

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Well played brightonrock, excellent read. Unfortunately though i think it's too well written for people to argue against your points!

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Top post mate, a future in the media maybe. Its a bit of light relief from the two of points of view. I two find myself in a strange position too, desperately wanting to hate it for all its bugs (there seems to be far more than any previous version) however it is also the most addictive version for ages (even though im playing rubbish) just can't working it out, it must be the 3d pitch?

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Very funny. The tw which Bongo Bongo quoted made me laugh out loud (which isn't good considering it's half 11 and everyone else in the place is fast asleep!)

Top, top post.

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'fanboys' denying anything is wrong and SI employees are welcome to a go on their daughter any day.

That made me laugh, so true :D

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[QUOTE]In fact, most pre-season run-ins are more emotionally expensive than the break-up of a long term relationship, as your team suffers greater losses than the Russian Army, circa 1939-45.[/QUOTE]

:):):) fall off me chair!

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[quote name='davestu']*stands and starts slow hand clap*[/QUOTE]

*joins davestu*

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Great post and i agree with every point you make highlighting some truly awful bugs but like you I find myself far more addicted to this than I have any FM since the split.

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[quote name='Blue Nose Bear']'fanboys' denying anything is wrong and SI employees are welcome to a go on their daughter any day.

That made me laugh, so true :D[/QUOTE]

There is no one on this forum (at least who posts regularly) who fits that description. Everyone I know who defends the game also admits that there are things that are wrong.

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[QUOTE]Keepers' agricultural 'through balls' cause Titus Bramble-esque qualities in the defence who stop and cry whilst the oppo striker walks it in.
[/QUOTE]

This has been very frustrating for me, ive scored them and had them scored against me

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I don't agree with everything you say, but I have to give you TWO THUMBS UP. The best OP I've seen in a loooooong time.

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blue Nose Bear
'fanboys' denying anything is wrong and SI employees are welcome to a go on their daughter any day.
That made me laugh, so true

There is no one on this forum (at least who posts regularly) who fits that description. Everyone I know who defends the game also admits that there are things that are wrong.

But he doesn't deny they'll "let them have a go ..." :)

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[quote name='Saintjonny']I really really really hate that word 'fanboy'[/QUOTE]

I would suggest that some people have the same reaction to the phrase "It's your tactics". BTW, its "fanboi".

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Has the bumming of brightonrock finished now?

He has not told us anything we didn't already know, and has merely posted in an amusing way. He is not really offering anything in regards to construtive criticism.

I'll go back to reading the few threads in GQ that actually offer an opinion or some insight, and not just something amusingly written.

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[quote name='brightonrock']


Keepers' agricultural 'through balls' cause [b]Titus Bramble[/b]-esque qualities in the defence who stop and cry whilst the oppo striker walks it in.

9 times out of 10 full backs are [b]beaten like S&M fetishists[/b] by wingers with laughable dribbling stats such as 4.
[/QUOTE]

These ones I know best. A striker with acceleration of 6 will out run any defender

[quote name='tomtuck01']Has the bumming of brightonrock finished now?

He has not told us anything we didn't already know, and has merely posted in an amusing way. He is not really offering anything in regards to construtive criticism.

I'll go back to reading the few threads in GQ that actually offer an opinion or some insight, and not just something amusingly written.[/QUOTE]

Fanboy anyone?

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[quote name='tomtuck01']Has the bumming of brightonrock finished now?

He has not told us anything we didn't already know, and has merely posted in an amusing way. He is not really offering anything in regards to construtive criticism.

I'll go back to reading the few threads in GQ that actually offer an opinion or some insight, and not just something amusingly written.[/quote]

Erm ok. Sorry brightonrock, looks like this thread will have to be closed for committing the sin of being 'amusing' and not containing 'constructive criticism'.

Please refrain from using humour in any future discussions. Thanks.

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[quote name='tomtuck01']Has the bumming of brightonrock finished now?

He has not told us anything we didn't already know, and has merely posted in an amusing way. He is not really offering anything in regards to construtive criticism.

I'll go back to reading the few threads in GQ that actually offer an opinion or some insight, and not just something amusingly written.[/QUOTE]
its your tactics

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[quote name='ndebergerac']Fanboy anyone?[/QUOTE]

Well, no. He doesn't give an opinion on Football Manager or SI one way or the other in the post you're quoting.

[quote name='small Mac']Erm ok. Sorry brightonrock, looks like this thread will have to be closed for committing the sin of being 'amusing' and not containing 'constructive criticism'.

Please refrain from using humour in any future discussions. Thanks.[/QUOTE]

He wasn't criticising the use of humour. He was just pointing out that all this praise for the OP is overblown when you consider there is nothing of substance in his post. I would say that all the humour and the quality of expression can't hide that lack of substance, but from the way most people have reacted, it would seem it does.

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It was a good post and people reacted positively to it and had a laugh.

Why do you feel the need to spoil things, if that's how you feel, just don't post, go and discuss tactics or something.

And people wonder why the term 'fanboy' came about...

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[quote name='brightonrock']Ok so I've had the game since launch day and although I like it and I'm cracking on through the seasons with a peculiar blend of pent-up frustration, furious anger, joyful delirium and utter disbelief (both positive and negative), there are some general things that a lot of people are complaining about, and I thought I'd give my ten pence on them. The complaints are in varying degrees of hysteria, and I've experienced some, if not all of the problems, and I'm torn between joining forces with the [b]'moaners' demanding answers for the problems[/b], or the [b]'fanboys' denying anything is wrong and SI employees are welcome to a go on their daughter any day[/b]. That said, I think the following could be addressed in the second patch, to make [color=red]a currently very good game (shhhh moaners, it is good) even better (shhhh fanboys, it can be improved)[/color]:

[list]
[*]Despite the [b]transfer[/b] code being re-written (and by and large, it definately is infinitely better than previous versions), the developers got a bit dizzy on [b]helium and blue smarties[/b] when it came to coding Man City, injected them with money and then forgot to inform the poor little Manc data accountant not to spend [b]a quarter of a billion pounds[/b] a season, exclusively on breathtakingly average attacking midfielders.
[*]90% of transfer bids 'become public knowledge'; one can only assume a footballing agent is, contrary to popular belief, not well paid, and [b]most agents moonlight for The Mirror[/b].
[*]All 22 on-pitch players appear to be trying the SoccerAM crossbar challenge with insatiable enthusiasm by [b]shooting from a quarter of a mile away[/b].
[*]Speaking of, [b]the frame of the goal seems to have some kind of magnet in it[/b].
[*]Keepers' agricultural 'through balls' cause [b]Titus Bramble[/b]-esque qualities in the defence who stop and cry whilst the oppo striker walks it in.
[*]9 times out of 10 full backs are [b]beaten like S&M fetishists[/b] by wingers with laughable dribbling stats such as 4.
[*]Your assistant manager grew up next to a farm with three fields and an electric fence, and was presumably subject to a [b]violent mugging[/b] or sexual crime between the fence and the middle field, [b]thus explaining his obsession[/b] with playing a holding midfielder.
[*]Players regularly partake in impromptu mini-games amongst themselves, such as the [b]schoolyard classic 'Arse'[/b] wherby they line up and [b]leather it at each other[/b] from 5 yards away for no discernible reason.
[*]As we all know, [b]Arsenal have won every trophy in every major tournament in every sport in the world[/b], for the last 40 years, and this is reflected in their trophy cabinet after 2 years in-game.
[*]Strikers who don't score [b]a hat-trick[/b] get rated as 5.6.
[*]Strikers in fact are incapable of the proverbial in a brothel, let alone, god forbid, [b]kicking the round thing through the big rectangle[/b].
[*]England win all penalty shootouts. [b]There's no need for a humourous comment here[/b].
[*]Serious injuries ([b]ruptured colon, severed head, shattered pelvis[/b] etc) happen regularly; in many games all 3 subs are made by the 70-minute mark as your assistant manager [b]makes hurried plans to visit your star striker's next of kin[/b].
[*]In fact, most pre-season run-ins are [b]more emotionally expensive than the break-up of a long term relationship[/b], as your team suffers [b]greater losses than the Russian Army, circa 1939-45[/b].
[*]Playing 4411 is [b]so experimental and philosophically world-changing that the fabric of reality is broken[/b] and 13 bearded, be-robed players take to the pitch for a feast of hobbit's bread and virgin's tears whilst daubing themselves with goats blood under two glowing red suns.[/list]

All in all they're minor improvements I think, fairly easily tweaked. Chin up boys and girls whilst the developers [b]sortitoutsi[/b], and in the meantime we can all sleep soundly in the knowledge that [b]its probably your tactics[/b], but more importantly [b]its definately only a game[/b]. :D[/QUOTE]

I enjoyed your post. As others have pointed out, these issues have all been raised before, although I think (most of us) can appreciate the humour of your posts. Your comment about England penalty shootouts aside (it's just a matter of luck really, you can't say the England players have never had any of the required attributes to win a shootout), I think it's a decent list of some of the nuances of FM09 which could be improved.

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[quote name='Mooks']It was a good post and people reacted positively to it and had a laugh.

Why do you feel the need to spoil things, if that's how you feel, just don't post, go and discuss tactics or something.

And people wonder why the term 'fanboy' came about...[/QUOTE]

That is absolute nonsense. So people who disagree with the original post should just go away and not post? Ridiculous. Have you ever had a debate in your life?

I personally thought it was a well put together post, but it didn't say anything we haven't heard before. I'd go along with what GillsMan says above.

I fail to see why disagreeing with the post is 'spoiling things'. It actually makes you sound rather immature to say that.

And as for the term 'fanboy', I reiterate. None of the people I've seen post regularly are fanboys. We all criticise the game. Just because we disagree with the OP doesn't make us 'fanboys'. Please stop using that ludicrous term.

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[quote name='Mike7077']Well, no. He doesn't give an opinion on Football Manager or SI one way or the other in the post you're quoting.



He wasn't criticising the use of humour. He was just pointing out that all this praise for the OP is overblown when you consider there is nothing of substance in his post. I would say that all the humour and the quality of expression can't hide that lack of substance, but from the way most people have reacted, it would seem it does.[/QUOTE]do you let si have a go on your daughter?

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[quote name='zulu83']do you let si have a go on your daughter?[/QUOTE]

Firstly, you're going to have to show me where I said I never criticise them. I mean, I'm pretty sure I pointed out the opposite.

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[quote name='Mike7077']That is absolute nonsense. So people who disagree with the original post should just go away and not post? Ridiculous. Have you ever had a debate in your life?

I personally thought it was a well put together post, but it didn't say anything we haven't heard before. I'd go along with what GillsMan says above.

I fail to see why disagreeing with the post is 'spoiling things'. It actually makes you sound rather immature to say that.

And as for the term 'fanboy', I reiterate. None of the people I've seen post regularly are fanboys. We all criticise the game. Just because we disagree with the OP doesn't make us 'fanboys'. Please stop using that ludicrous term.[/QUOTE]

[I]‘Has the bumming of brightonrock finished now?’[/I]

Personally I feel that if this is all you have to say, then don’t bother. It’s hardly constructive is it... And neither is debating with you over what was I think just meant to be a light hearted bit of fun.

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[quote name='Mooks'][I]‘Has the bumming of brightonrock finished now?’[/I]

Personally I feel that if this is all you have to say, then don’t bother. It’s hardly constructive is it... And neither is debating with you over what was I think just meant to be a light hearted bit of fun.[/QUOTE]

It wasn't the best choice of sentence, but it wasn't all he said. It's pretty unfair to just pick that bit out and only quote it. The rest of what he said was a constructive criticism of the opening post.

I shouldn't be surprised by all this. It's pretty much what happens when you disagree with people on this forum.

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[quote name='Mike7077']Firstly, you're going to have to show me where I said I never criticise them. I mean, I'm pretty sure I pointed out the opposite.[/QUOTE]you never answered my question

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OP - The lack of criticism must mean that you've nailed it. Great post sire. Where have you been hiding? The forums should be more like this in my opinion. :)

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[quote name='zulu83']you never answered my question[/QUOTE]

Well, I assume you're trying to claim that I must be a 'fanboy'. This is a ludicrous claim as I criticise their game constructively on a regular basis.

As I am not a 'fanboy', if I had a daughter I would not let them do that.

Enjoy your infraction.

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[quote name='Suttface']OP - The lack of criticism must mean that you've nailed it. Great post sire. Where have you been hiding? The forums should be more like this in my opinion. :)[/QUOTE]

Are you blind? Look at the response to anyone who perfectly reasonably disagrees with the OP. Typical General Discussion crap, really. Not the opening post, just the way some people react to those who disagree.

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