ManUtd1 Posted March 25, 2020 Share Posted March 25, 2020 Livakovic doesn't look like he was expecting this. 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted March 25, 2020 Share Posted March 25, 2020 2 minutes ago, henri.melo00 said: Good to see another adept of complete rotation, even when the squad lacks quality, I adhere to the strategy. Is a good bet on the long run, but, as your stay is only one year, let's see what it yields. I like the ambition, let's see how it plays. Thanks, man! Fingers crossed I can set this up for success, if not this year, in the immediate future! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted March 25, 2020 Share Posted March 25, 2020 La Liga registration limits may present a problem in terms of raiding Rijeka. Ebenezer, Morales and Claudio Roberto are our 3 non-EU players. As of July 10th: Morales is "waiting for paperwork," which can take months; Claudio Roberto has 44 days left; and, Ebenezer has 190 days left. My scouting has thus been focused on EU nationals...with an eye towards a lightning raid if Morales' paperwork comes through. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
wynter Posted March 25, 2020 Share Posted March 25, 2020 I'm very interested in the William Morales experiment. Could come off huge. And it's flattering that you're using the tac, I'll just pray you don't get sacked Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted March 25, 2020 Share Posted March 25, 2020 1 hour ago, wynter said: I'm very interested in the William Morales experiment. Could come off huge. And it's flattering that you're using the tac, I'll just pray you don't get sacked I think Morales could be tremendous, and love retraining wingers to be wingbacks We'll see how it goes -- first friendlies are coming up, as I was about to spend some time scouting. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted March 25, 2020 Share Posted March 25, 2020 Fingers crossed that we draw them in the Champions League. No confirmation re the rumor that the showed up at his unveiling in a full kit. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted March 25, 2020 Share Posted March 25, 2020 A dimly-lit apartment in Valencia, Spain. Morning. August 2029. [The sound of Eric Carmen's "Make Me Lose Control" fills a small, dimly-lit apartment. A man sits at a raised, breakfast counter. Alone. Staring into the middle distance, lost in thought. An industrial-sized jar of mayonnaise sits on the counter before him.] At the end of this summer, I know of only one truth. I am become the darkness. The snide **** Managervich. The job that should have been mine. It was mine, until the Chairman made a few phone calls and learned that I'd repeatedly failed my continental pro licensing course. It wasn't my fault. I had...other...things to do. Distractions. Necessary distractions. There's something dark in me. And I hide it. I certainly don't talk about it. But it's there. Always. This...dark passenger. And when he's driving, I feel... Alive. Half sick with the thrill of complete wrongness. I don't fight him, I don't want to. He's all I've got. Because if there is anything that this summer has taught me, it's that nothing else could love me, not even... Especially not me. Or is that just a lie that the dark passenger tells me? Because lately there are these moments when I feel connected to...something else. Someone. It's like the mask is slipping and things...people...who never mattered before, are suddenly starting to matter. And it scares the hell out of me. But there's no time for this. Training starts in 45 minutes, and the Boss will want me to put the lads through their paces. I have to find a way to control the urges. To silence him...the dark passenger. If only for a few hours at a time. [The song on the radio hits the final chorus, as the man stands and opens a jar of mayonnaise, beginning to gyrate slowly, singing at the top of his voice and spreading the mayonnaise across his naked torso.] Turn the radio up, for that sweet sound... Hold me close, never let me gooo... Keep this feelin alive, make me lose controool... 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted March 25, 2020 Share Posted March 25, 2020 (For those of you who might not be following it, Beinir Joensen is @Makoto Nakamura's assman in his brilliant Faroes save, who has failed the licensing course repeatedly. I figure that the guy has to be a sociopath, to keep plugging away, year after year. Just a nickname, for narrative purposes.) 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted March 25, 2020 Share Posted March 25, 2020 5th?! Beinir is going to have something to say about that. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
andychar Posted March 25, 2020 Author Share Posted March 25, 2020 20 minutes ago, ManUtd1 said: (For those of you who might not be following it, Beinir Joensen is @Makoto Nakamura's assman in his brilliant Faroes save, who has failed the licensing course repeatedly. I figure that the guy has to be a sociopath, to keep plugging away, year after year. Just a nickname, for narrative purposes.) If he passes first time I will run around naked...in my garden...because I’m not allowed in the streets. 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Makoto Nakamura Posted March 25, 2020 Share Posted March 25, 2020 Beinir! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted March 25, 2020 Share Posted March 25, 2020 Valencia CF Offices. Afternoon. August 2029. [Beinir Joensen sits at a desk, looking somewhat bored, starting into space. Slowly, he reaches towards a wireless keyboard, striking the Windows key with a slight smirk on his face. Immediately, loud cursing can be heard in the distance, in a heavy Australian accent. Joensen chuckles softly to himself. But the laughter never reaches his eyes.] Transfer that, you Aussie ****. You may be safe from me, for now...but even if the cat can't eat his dinner, he can play with it. If any of these lads lives up to their promise, we may have to take a more firm hand in these matters...but for now, we must bide our time. Our major transfer business seems to be complete. Honestly, I was frustrated and unable to find the bargains I usually like to go for...but given our transfer kitty, I decided to splurge a little bit. While I want to take my usual long-term, youth development view, buying cheap young players from all over the place, I couldn't find the value I wanted. After consulting with @wynter about a few possible transfers, I pulled the trigger on a couple big ones. The first one to come in the door landed in our laps -- Toby Kempton, on loan from Spurs with a mandatory $28M fee at the end of the year. I wanted to improve our options up front, and he was an absolute steal. When he signed, my plan was to have him feature in our 1st XI. But those plans changed when I laid eyes on Giacomo Romero, a genuinely brilliant player that Torino were willing to part with for only $60M. Yes, it is FAR more money than I'd usually spend. But this kid is an absolute world-class player in the making. He'll be in Valencia's 1st XI for years to come. Kempton will be his backup. Nikola Rudovic arrived from Varazdin for $4M, exactly the kind of bargain pricing I was looking for. He'll be the inverted winger in our 2nd XI, the understudy to Goncalo Guedes. If he develops, he could be a fixture in the squad for years. I struggled long and hard with whom to steal from Rijeka, especially with La Liga's restrictions on foreign players. Ultimately, we brought in Luka Vardic for $26M. He will be the shadow striker in our 1st XI. The biggest gaps, however, were at wingback on both the left and right. We had only 3 players for those positions in the squad, 2 of whom are on the wrong side of 30. I ended up bringing in Faruk Yilmaz from Gladbach and Nicola Amodio from Spurs. Both arrive on loan, with an option to purchase -- Yilmaz for $16M, Amodio for $17M. Those prices are more than I typically like to spend, but they're high quality players from established, top tier sides. We also have a ton of cash sitting around. In the end, our 1st and 2nd XIs look like this: From a long-term perspective, we likely need a centerback and center midfielder next summer, things are in solid shape here in Valencia. At least, they appear to be. We'll play our first competitive matches soon enough. 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted March 25, 2020 Share Posted March 25, 2020 (edited) 35 minutes ago, andychar said: If he passes first time I will run around naked...in my garden...because I’m not allowed in the streets. Let's not talk about the unpleasantness again. 29 minutes ago, Makoto Nakamura said: Beinir! He's a good 'un. I think... Edited March 25, 2020 by ManUtd1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Makoto Nakamura Posted March 25, 2020 Share Posted March 25, 2020 1 minute ago, ManUtd1 said: Let's not talk about the unpleasantness again. He's a good 'un. I think... I'd rate him an A, he's not quite a Pro. 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rikulec Posted March 25, 2020 Share Posted March 25, 2020 That's brilliant. I feel Beinir could become a well recognised figure in the FMCU! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimbokav1971 Posted March 25, 2020 Share Posted March 25, 2020 Damian looks like he could score some goals in the future. In terms of there here and now though, and continuity, is VMS a Croat?Bengoetxea is a hell of a name, but Ebenezer takes names to a new level. Wow. I think we are going to have fun with Morales. Veenvliet looks impressive but I wonder if we might looks to cash in on him to boost our kitty?6'5" Roberto could provide some variation up front if you want to change style, or even just as an option from the bench. I like him. The only thing I don't like about this skin is that I can't tell from the badges what some of the Nationalities are. I can guess, but am not positive. Ooh. Serer is nice. Very nice. Wow. Bossana is going to fill his actual boots! Personally I'm glad you are not going strikerless in this save. This looks like a pretty decent starting squad, buy then again I'm currently managing a part-time club so anyone who can run looks decent to me. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted March 25, 2020 Share Posted March 25, 2020 3 minutes ago, Jimbokav1971 said: Damian looks like he could score some goals in the future. In terms of there here and now though, and continuity, is VMS a Croat?Bengoetxea is a hell of a name, but Ebenezer takes names to a new level. Wow. I think we are going to have fun with Morales. Veenvliet looks impressive but I wonder if we might looks to cash in on him to boost our kitty?6'5" Roberto could provide some variation up front if you want to change style, or even just as an option from the bench. I like him. The only thing I don't like about this skin is that I can't tell from the badges what some of the Nationalities are. I can guess, but am not positive. Ooh. Serer is nice. Very nice. Wow. Bossana is going to fill his actual boots! Personally I'm glad you are not going strikerless in this save. This looks like a pretty decent starting squad, buy then again I'm currently managing a part-time club so anyone who can run looks decent to me. It's a pretty immense squad, I think. We're ready to roll on with our first match as soon as I hit continue. I don't currently have Damian set to take free kicks...might need to chang that. VMS is Serbian. Veenvliet...I thought the same, but like him for now. I'd have to have a 1st XI player lined up to say goodbye to him at the moment. Romano is an absolute beast. Can't wait for him to start banging them in. (This is @bluestillidie00's TCS 1.3.1 skin, in case anyone is wondering.) Bossana is unfortunately off on loan, since I wasn't going to get him enough playing time. He was going to start, but... @Benjoe can reassess at the end of the season! 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimbokav1971 Posted March 25, 2020 Share Posted March 25, 2020 (edited) I think it's fair to say that the fraudulence levels have just hit overdrive in the Joint save. Edited March 25, 2020 by Jimbokav1971 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted March 25, 2020 Share Posted March 25, 2020 Just now, Jimbokav1971 said: I think it's fair to say that the fraudulence levels have just hit overdrive in the Join save. I actually made this the other day, but hadn't used it yet: 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted March 25, 2020 Share Posted March 25, 2020 We've learned two things from our first match. Billy Mors is going to be a beast. And Eibar are cowardly frauds. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted March 25, 2020 Share Posted March 25, 2020 (edited) There's a good lad. You can have water at training tomorrow. Edited March 25, 2020 by ManUtd1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted March 25, 2020 Share Posted March 25, 2020 Yes, lads. That's it. This Managervich is a fraud. We can all see it. A few more outings like this, and I can start to plan... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted March 25, 2020 Share Posted March 25, 2020 Oh, FFS. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandy42 Posted March 25, 2020 Share Posted March 25, 2020 1 hour ago, andychar said: If he passes first time I will run around naked...in my garden...because I’m not allowed in the streets. You’re allowed in the streets for one exercise per day. Doesn’t say you have to be clothed 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted March 25, 2020 Share Posted March 25, 2020 Watching that fraud melt hide from the press after the draw, in his office with the shades drawn, trying to figure out a way to "spin" this was so... Dare I say... Erotic? Surely it is only a matter of time before he is ousted. Through force or sheer fraudulence. At which point I can ascend to my rightful place as manager. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted March 25, 2020 Share Posted March 25, 2020 On the flight back from Bilbao, I had to lock myself in the bathroom. For several reasons. Not the least of which being a need to hide my tears of joy from the lads, who sit, stunned in their seats. The wheels are coming off. I swore to Sheela Na Gigs that Managervich will live to rue the day he left Croatia... And made the requisite blood sacrifices. All seven of them. Patience is a virtue, Beinir. Patience is a virtue. That reminds me. "Alexa, add 'mayonnaise' to the shopping list." "I have added 'mayonnaisee' to your shopping list." Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted March 25, 2020 Share Posted March 25, 2020 Prior to the Betis match, I walked up to Managervich, handed him a banana, nodded and clapped him on the shoulder in a show of false-brotherhood. He was confused, initially. But his nerves got the best of him. He hasn't eaten a proper meal in weeks. Much less adhered to standard personal hygiene routines. So, after I walked away without comment, he ate it. And fell right into my devious trap. After the 2nd XI **** the bed, I asked him where my banana was. And watched the sweet, lingering taste of my banana turn to ashes in his mouth. He fumbled around, trying to avoid telling me he'd eaten it. I mumbled something about it being my mother's dinner and walked away, "sad." He called out an apology. I'm living rent-free in your head, you fraud. 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted March 25, 2020 Share Posted March 25, 2020 Several hours before the Napoli match, our first European match of the campaign, I found Managervich's dinner in the fridge. A sad, lonely turkey sandwich. Not even a hint of mayonnaise. No one was around. I couldn't help myself. I had to find...release. I took it out, unwrapped it lovingly, and licked it. All over. I really got in there. And then I put it back. As I watched him eat his sandwich several hours later, a thousand-yard stare in his eyes, I couldn't help but smile. Good luck against the Italians, you fraud. Just count yourself lucky that I need not take more dramatic measures to ensure your downfall. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted March 25, 2020 Share Posted March 25, 2020 Managervich was so violently ill prior to kickoff that he didn't see me swap the teamsheet. I'm not sure he even noticed that the 2nd XI were on the pitch until it was too late. Now, he's in the post-match press conference, trying to assert that it was intentional. He's trying to argue that this was intentional, that we need to focus on La Liga. He's making a good argument...but I know the truth. The sandwich never lies. If only there was some way for me to take credit. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted March 25, 2020 Share Posted March 25, 2020 Late last night, I couldn't control myself. The dark passenger was whispering in my ear. To satiate him, I had to do something. So I slipped into the office...only to see Managervich slumped before the whiteboard, tactical plans scribbled everywhere. Crying, mumbing incoherently about Levante. I said nothing. I slipped into his office and added an entry to his Word autocorrect, so that every 'm' will hereafter be replaced by 'rn' immediately. He shall not know a moment's peace, until I can finally deliver him to his maker. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted March 25, 2020 Share Posted March 25, 2020 (edited) The subtle art of underrnining. Thanks for your support, Beinir. You ****. Edited March 25, 2020 by ManUtd1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted March 25, 2020 Share Posted March 25, 2020 I may have taken things too far. I tried to be careful. I made sure no one was around. But I'm relatively certain that Managervich saw me lick his sandwich before kickoff tonight. After the match, he stared me down. A challenge. He wouldn't look away. So I had to. A display of weakness that shames me to my core. No mayonnaise for me tonight. Mayonnaise is for winners. It's mustard, all the way down, tonight. A trip to Getafe should set the world back in order. If not, we may need to take additional...precautions. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted March 25, 2020 Share Posted March 25, 2020 Here I was, thinking I was all clever with rny signings... We're easily good enough to be winning these rnatches. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted March 25, 2020 Share Posted March 25, 2020 Managervich is watching his sandwiches like a hawk now. He might be on to me. I need to find other ways to release my urges. Hence, the pancake batter in his boots. At least, he'll assume it is pancake batter. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted March 25, 2020 Share Posted March 25, 2020 I've been banned from the boot room. Not for the "pancake batter." No one is the wiser on that. It was for other...extracurricular activities. It's time to up the psychological warfare. I mailed Managervich the severed head of a Cristiano Ronaldo doll. It's basically a Ken doll, but anatomically correct, from the "Social Influencer Barbie Dates A Footballer" Series. Every few days, he'll get a new body part. Right up to the coup d'grace. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted March 25, 2020 Share Posted March 25, 2020 I'm disappointed in the lads. They've let me down. I spent the flight home, locked in the bathroom, surgically dismembering Cristiano. I think we send him a foot next. Yes...his right foot. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted March 25, 2020 Share Posted March 25, 2020 I never intended to do rnatch-by-rnatch updates in here...but got on a bit of a run. Can't keep it up with other dernands on rny tirne -- so, we'll be shifting to what I'd planned all along, rnonthly updates. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted March 26, 2020 Share Posted March 26, 2020 (edited) November 2029. The only comfort I have is that each time we look ready to put together a string of results, something "unfortunate" happens. The 2nd XI losing away to 18th-place Villarreal? Shame, that. Couldn't have had anything to do with me turning off the hot water in our locker room, or taking our lads' unmentionables out of the kitman's duffel bag. The viewers at home got an eyeful that night, let me tell you. Although in the post-match excitement, I did lose control...I'm sure no one at Villarreal will miss that U17...he was pretty terrible, truth be told. Something of a loner. As if anyone uses a libero in modern football, anyways. The voices are quieter ever since. The dark passenger, sated. For now. A massively frustrating run of matches as we head into the November international break. Modest injuries forced Guedes and Billy Mors out of the squad for a few weeks each. The dynamics are finally starting to come together, and it isn't a moment too soon. I was checking to see if my job had become insecure yet, but have stopped doing that every 30 seconds. We were dominating matches in the first weeks of the season, but conspiring to lose or drop points. I raised the defensive line and line of engagement, and changed the centerbacks' duty to cover, which has seemed to help. The biggest problem right now is that we aren't scoring goals from open play. Not a situation I'm used to. Filthy forwardses. We're IR'ing most domestic matches now (which is my usual style of play), playing the "big" domestic matches when possible, and playing all European matches. Edited March 26, 2020 by ManUtd1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandy42 Posted March 26, 2020 Share Posted March 26, 2020 MUSTARD ALL THE WAY DOWN! 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted March 26, 2020 Share Posted March 26, 2020 25 minutes ago, Mandy42 said: MUSTARD ALL THE WAY DOWN! 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimbokav1971 Posted March 26, 2020 Share Posted March 26, 2020 4 hours ago, ManUtd1 said: Yes, lads. That's it. This Managervich is a fraud. We can all see it. A few more outings like this, and I can start to plan... Ebenezer's pretty good. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted March 26, 2020 Share Posted March 26, 2020 (edited) December 2029. If Managervich calls me "Benny" again, I cannot be held responsible for my actions. Not in a legal sense, mind you. Rhetorically speaking. I'm ready the moment he falters. Zip ties...duct tape... I've got to have my tools. I'm not a monster. I'm just ahead of the curve. A solid month. We finish 2029 on a high. Sitting 6th, and into the Champions League knockout rounds. The loss in Naples was frustrating. But when it came down to the wire on Matchday 6, however, we put in our best performance of the year and annihilated ze Germans, 6-1. Our 4th from Romano was so good, I missed the entire 2nd half cropping/uploading the video (and thus forgot to make subs...). Also, we've increased our junior coaching and started the Continental Pro licensing course. Edited March 26, 2020 by ManUtd1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted March 26, 2020 Share Posted March 26, 2020 I have to laugh...on our long throws, with the 1st XI we've got 6'6" Romano and 6'7" Ebenezer attacking the near post...and then Romano pulls off THAT skill Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted March 26, 2020 Share Posted March 26, 2020 We draw Bruno Lage's Manchester United in the First Knockout Round. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted March 26, 2020 Share Posted March 26, 2020 Marco will need to look for new trabajo if he isn't careful. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted March 26, 2020 Share Posted March 26, 2020 The 2nd XI did us proud tonight, folks. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
wynter Posted March 26, 2020 Share Posted March 26, 2020 I've had Cunha before from Sion, same guy or a Regen? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted March 26, 2020 Share Posted March 26, 2020 12 minutes ago, wynter said: I've had Cunha before from Sion, same guy or a Regen? The one and only! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted March 26, 2020 Share Posted March 26, 2020 February 2029. I cannot help but feel like I'm cursed. Like my mojo has been lost. 5 months ago, I created a fake profile for Managervich on Twitter. I carefully procured content. Painstakingly developed a persona that matched his. Photographs taken where he was known to be. Indirect comments about the events affecting his everyday life. And, then, slowly...I turned it into a hug for the filthiest ****** *** ****** ****** **** you've ever seen. I mean, a can opener and a squirrel? That's just sick. And I waited...the media outed "him." But instead of demands for his ouster, everyone accepted his claim that it was fraudulent because it didn't have the little blue check mark. How could I overlook that little detail? Hours of work...days of detail to attention. All lost. An opportunity missed. We host Manchester next. Heaven forbid we win...Managervich will be even more arrogant than he already is. And with all of the media attention, I dare not take action now. It's too late. I didn't sleep a wink last night. Nightmares. Dark dreams...of a man, kneeling. Surrounded by nine shadowy figures... But, who is the man in the middle of the circle? Is it...me? Managervich? I... I can't... I need... A real night's sleep. So that I can think. Plan. "Alexa, add absinthe to the shopping list." We enter the business end of the season in tremendous shape. Sitting 4th, holding firm. 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManUtd1 Posted March 26, 2020 Share Posted March 26, 2020 The first leg at the Nuevo Mestalla was everything I've come to dread. The only good moment was when Ibanez flapped at a cross, like a blind David De Gea, allowing United to draw level, albeit temporarily. But dreams are fragile things. Prone to breaking, if you hold them too dear to your heart. We will travel to Manchester with a narrow advantage. Perhaps I can find some release along the canals. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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